Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

It’s Halloween and I don’t want to be a Wonder Woman Skank

Halloween costumes pretty much suck for women. Unless, of course, you want to be a Wonder Woman Skank and jiggle along the sidewalks of your neighborhood wearing tights while pretending that you’re 25 years 15 years younger.

Wonder Woman Skank

Like how I made myself a fatter Wonder Woman Skank?

I’ve never been the Sexy Nurse, the Sexy Wonder Woman Skank, the Sexy Vampire (ok maybe I tried but I did not show cleavage or legs or really, much of anything).

Vampires

I’m a big believer in Halloween Fun and in dressing up. One Halloween, my two best friends and I dressed as the three little piggies. And went to the party with an Orthodox Jewish Wolf, so that he wouldn’t eat us. On another, my friends and I were three skeletons.

Skeleton Costumes

I’ve been a vampire and a Firestone tire, back when they caught fire and exploded. I’ve seen a One Night Stand hook up with The Girl Next Door.  And now, I have a four-year old son who has been an alligator (a crocodile?). I was the alligator/crocodile/monster Ghetto-Mom-Version alongside him…

Alligator costumeMom DIY Alligagor costume

Tucker has been a cowboy…

Cowboy Costume

A fireman…

Fireman2011

And a red-costumed fireman.

Fireman2012

I’ve shown my support by dressing (almost) as an alligator (a crocodile?), a horse for the cowboy, and a put-out fire, for the fireman.

This Halloween, Tucker’s obsessed with Super Heroes and wants to be Superman. Of course, I want to support him and dress the family up in theme. But there’s no way that I’m shamefully strutting around my neighborhood, like a skank, in a pair of tights with my boobs hanging out (you’re welcome, neighbors). So what to be?

Why Super Mom and Super Dad, of course!  Easy! I tried to make a costume. I got those iron-on t-shirt decal things, got on PhotoShop, made a Super Mom logo, and plugged in the iron. It took a few tries to print it the right size, flipped (so that it would transfer correctly) and get the M in the background justright. Finally, after making my husband print one or five, because I’d used up all of my printer ink in the process, I got it! Success!  I got down on the floor (because we don’t own an ironing board), and got to work with my Super Mom iron-on decal.

The paper stuck to the shirt more than the colors did, and I ended up with this stupidity.

SuperMom Decal

No worries! I like to draw.  I decided to break out the expensive paint pens and get to work. If the lines weren’t completely straight, that’d just add to the whole thing, I figured. Apparently, there’s a secret to drawing on fabric and nobody’s told me what it is.

So I gave up and, in keeping with my I’m-not-crafty-and-don’t-understand-the-language-of-people-who-are Ghetto-DIY style, I simply printed out a paper logo and glued it to my shirt. Over the miss-matched line I’d previously drawn. And then, I added a ketchup stain for Super Mom authenticity.

You can see the drawing line underneath. I don

You can see the drawing line underneath. I don’t think crafting gets more ghetto than it does in my house.

And ta-da! Presenting, The Supers, Ordinary Edition.

The Supers w Tucker Caption

In case you’re wondering whether Robert’s been on a steady diet of cheese, puffs, and Halloween candy recently, he actually purchased a fake belly. To make it funnier. Sometimes? He’s so much more dedicated than I am. What about you? Tell me about your Halloween?

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s sentence is “One Halloween, I…” Or maybe “Once, on Halloween, I…” same thing really, right?
Your super-spooky Halloween Hosts:
Janine: Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate: Can I get another bottle of whine?
Stephanie: Mommy, for Real
me: finding ninee

 


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Shay - Okay, I’m laughing hysterically because a few years ago, some friends insisted I dress up for a party. I HATE dressing up for Halloween, so I found a Wonder Woman t-shirt (cape included) and wore it with jeans. And told them to leave me the hell alone b/c it counted. Haha!!

    I think you did a GREAT job on the costume, by the way!October 24, 2013 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Love your tiara, Kristi! I’ve always wanted to be something skanky for Halloween, but that ship has sailed. Now I’d just look pathetic instead of skanky. Or both.October 24, 2013 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - You guys are like the Incredibles! I love it!! And that SuperMom t-shirt is just perfect. 🙂October 24, 2013 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I loved that fake belly on Robert and seriously could so see Kevin doing something like this. I am no fun and haven’t dressed up since having my kids, but you guys are truly awesome!! 🙂October 24, 2013 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - love the costumes…the family of superheros ROCKS! He truly is dedicated and so proud of his fake tummy.

    I should have posted Dino’s old costumes…what a great idea. OMG…the three piggies, that would have been awesome to see.October 24, 2013 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Shay,
    You ROCK for wearing jeans under your Wonder Woman costume! For real! Awesome!!!
    hahah thanks, friend. Sometimes, Ghetto DIY works.
    —
    Dana,
    The tiara was really the finishing touch. And really? Sucks those sailed ships…sigh…
    —October 24, 2013 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Sarah,
    HAHA, not perfect, which is maybe perfect?
    —
    Janine,
    You should dress up!
    —
    Karen,
    I drew the three piggies but then my husband told me it was rude and offensive…sigh…
    —October 24, 2013 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this costume idea!!! I hate Halloween parties for that costume reason alone. The last two years we’ve declined a HUGE neighborhood one, mostly because of the costume thing. My husband is 6’5″ and not “tiny” and let’s just say my husband’s wife (aka “me”)isn’t so “tiny” herself. Now I wish we had said yes to that invite. I could totally do this! And you and your family totally rock that out!!!October 24, 2013 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - You guys are so cute and such great parents. I never wear any costume. I used to love Halloween, but somewhere I lost loving it. I love your family picture! It is pricelessOctober 24, 2013 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerith,
    HAHA, we’re not a tights-wearing family I guess and hey, it works right! It’s not too late to steal our idea!
    —
    Courtney,
    I know. I pray that you’ll get it back. And thanks, friend. xoxxo.
    —October 24, 2013 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - This was hilarious. First of all when I got to the end I said, “Oh” at Robert’s stomach. And then, “Ohhhhh” after I read your explanation. You captioned Tucker perfectly. You crack me up. Love the post. The things we do for our kids.October 24, 2013 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
    HAHAA to “OH!” at Robert’s stomach. I seriously was like “Why would you want to look fatter????” But he did…
    Yes, the things we do for our kids, indeed…October 24, 2013 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

  • K - OMG. I LOVE your costumes!! I am currently in the middle of writing an essay (this week has been ridiculously busy for me…three midterm exams and a 5-6 page paper all around the same time!) and I decided to take a quick break to read your post…SO glad I did! You really ARE a super mom, and I love love love your costumes! The fake belly is hilarious, too!

    For my last year of trick-or-treating, my brothers and one of my friends wore all black and then attached glowsticks to our black clothes in the shape of stick figures…it was awesome because in the dark, all you could see were the glowsticks in the outline of a stick figure. So I guess that would be my most creative Halloween costume, although I don’t think it’s as good as yours!

    And then there was the year (when we were 12! Still a little embarrassed over this one) that my brothers and I dressed as Snap, Crackle, and Pop from the Rice Krispies cereal…my mom had been begging us to do it for YEARS and we finally agreed because it clearly meant a lot to her.

    Thanks for sharing! I always look forward to your posts!October 24, 2013 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - K,
    I’m so glad you took a break from studying, too. Also think you’d like yesterday’s Our Land…anyway, the glow stick idea is AWESOME! As is the whole Snap, Crackle, Pop one and I’d love to see a photo of that…love it.
    —October 24, 2013 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Tricia - One Halloween I wore a stuffed bag of trash and went as a…bag of trash. At the party that night I found that I couldn’t sit down–I kept sliding off the furniture.October 25, 2013 – 12:35 amReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - What? You wouldn’t be Wonder Woman? Why, shame on you! Tucker still looked like he was pretty satisfied with the results, although your hubby looks more like Elvis on the jelly roll diet! 🙂 Good post!October 25, 2013 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Such a gorgeous idea, and youse all look great. Tucker’s face though! Wow!

    He’s SO CUTE as the Red Fireman – his grin just draws me right in and I want to pinch his cheeks and give him all the candy.

    I think I love alligator-you the most though – that looks like an EPIC costume (and where’s the rest? ey?)

    Because it’s not a ‘thing’ here, (well, it’s getting to be more of a ‘thing’, but never used to be) I never went trick-or-treating in my life. And never had a costume. Or went to a halloween party.

    The whole saga has just utterly passed me by, so it’s great to live vicariously through joining in here and seeing what everyone else does/has done.October 25, 2013 – 1:46 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - Great costumes! I like the fake belly A LOT!!

    But tell my: why are you wearing a dressing gown? Is it because we moms are always tired? 😉October 25, 2013 – 2:31 amReplyCancel

  • Misty - Now that is real commitment! I love it! I haven’t had the guts to dress up with my kids!October 25, 2013 – 5:37 amReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - Why does every costume for women start with “sexy”? Sexy Ghost…Sexy Mouse…Sexy block of cheese—you name it. It’s always “sexy”. Thank goodness you un-skanked (de-skanked?) the super hero look for moms. The ketchup stain was inspired, too! 🙂
    Tucker is absolutely ADORABLE. Love his Halloween looks through the years. You guys are dedicated! (a fake belly is further than I’d be willing to go, but then again, my own belly would probably suffice and I wouldn’t need it!) –LisaOctober 25, 2013 – 7:24 amReplyCancel

  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - Love it! The ketchup stain is the best and your family looks great together. I love that your husband bought a fake belly.

    I am so not a fan of women’s Halloween costumes for the same reason. Your creativity is perfect.October 25, 2013 – 8:13 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - OMG!! That is hilarious! The irony of that Super Mom shirt is awesome! My husband and I son’t dress up, but he has a blue M&M costume that he wore to a company Halloween party years ago (before we had kids). My girls want us to all get different colored M&M costumes and dress up together! (BTW – I snorted out loud at the three pigs and a Jewish wolf line!)October 25, 2013 – 9:38 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Well, that picture is priceless as far as I’m concerned…u guys look awesome! I think we tried a family-themed Halloween once, but I may have given up and put on a witch hat and said I was a “mean mommy.” One year I was very pregnant and could have had fun with that, but I was too tired to be creative. All 3 of my boys were superman at one point and one year the dog was Superdog. Tucker makes an adorable superhero.:) P.S. Oh and that ketchup stain — perfection.October 25, 2013 – 9:44 amReplyCancel

  • Anita@ Losing Austin - Priceless!

    I only wish I had the bod (ever) to pull off a skank costume. I’d rock it!October 25, 2013 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - OK, you may or may not know that I have an aversion to LOLs, but in this case, like 100 LOLs. First of all, to my own post! 🙂 As I mentioned in my reply to your comment, if there’s ever a time to be slutty Wonder Woman, it’s when you’re 22! At least I wore it at the appropriate life stage, no? And also- the fake belly. So awesome. I adore your family photo. Way to go, crafty mama… xoOctober 25, 2013 – 11:32 amReplyCancel

  • Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe - OMG, that cowboy shot with the pumpkin is just too precious. Looks like an ad for something. Kudos to you for not only dressing up for Halloween but for going that extra mile in coordinating with Tucker.

    By the looks of your transfer mishap, I think you let it cool for too long. I worked in a T-Shirt store on Cape Cod during the summers as a kid, and that would happen if we didn’t peel them right away. If you ever try that again, use a cloth or something to rub over it, then peel it off. And if you want it to last for more than just a few wash cycles, make sure to run it through inside out. 🙂October 25, 2013 – 11:41 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I love it AND it is what you all are. Superheroes. For real.
    Scarlet is going as Sofia the First – Disney’s new answer to the previously princess-less lives of toddlers and preschoolers.
    Since Sofia’s sidekick is a talking rabbit and our Des likes to hop, he will be a ridiculous bunny.
    I will be Snow White. My sister offered to lend me her “Sexy Snow White” costume but I’m going to two kid parties and I’m not positive everyone wants to see my naked thighs on Halloween?
    So I bit the bullet and bought a renaissance-y Snow White costume. All long velvet and half off since we slacked until the week before Halloween.October 25, 2013 – 12:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Love, love that you guys all dress up! So heartwarming to see your Super Mom decal issues. My kids have many, many stories about my botched attempts at such a thing. I did not get the sewing gene. Hand sewed my daughter’s brownie badges onto the banner. I was SO proud. Until I realised I sewed the banner onto my jeans at the same time.October 25, 2013 – 1:02 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - (oh! so the first picture of you and Tucker was not you wearing the Zombie Statue of Liberty costume!)

    Tucker’s expression in the last photo is showing the signs of early onset, ‘jeez!-they’re-adults-and-this-could-really-be-cool-but-do-they-have-to-act-so-silly’?, disappointment in parental units. (though he *is* demonstrating the ‘do this right at all costs’ determination that I vaguely remember from being his age.)October 25, 2013 – 2:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I love your Super Mom costume! Check out my Super Sarah one. I created it in a few hours 14 years ago, and it definitely rivals the ghetto-ness of yours.October 25, 2013 – 2:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - AW Kristi that made me smile! Way to go Momma! I would have totally done the same thing. Regardless of whether you’re wearing the logo, you’re already Supermom to me! 😀October 25, 2013 – 4:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - hahaha! you are one funny girl, Kristi Campbell. When you discover the secret of drawing on fabric, please make sure you tell me about it too. Love your drawing of Wonder Woman Skank and your caption for your dad’s friend … LOL. You guys are such fun parents for always getting into the spirit of things like you do. I also love that it is possible to purchase a fake belly … I wonder if there is any market for such a thing outside of the Halloween season?? Have an awesome time on Thursday night 🙂October 25, 2013 – 6:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I love how supportive you are! I can’t say I love dressing up anymore. Used to. Big time. But for some reason, costumes no longer have the lure they did in my youth. I did love dressing up the kids. My favorite one for Lindsey was when we decked her in a pumpkin costume when she was two. Most of the other costumes were store-bought and not so exciting. But the kids always got to be what they wanted. Happy Halloween to you and your crafty family!October 25, 2013 – 7:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Cathy Harlow - You absolutely nailed Tuckers expression! Funny stuff. You’re such a good mom. =)October 25, 2013 – 7:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Oh God I love your family! I don’t know if it is your husband’s belly, your fabulous tiara floating above a ketchup stain or that AWESOME look of annoyance on Tucker’s face, but I am now officially in love with your family. I also have a tendency to gravitate toward all things ghetto, so the whole arts and crafts snafu didn’t hurt either. I love it!October 25, 2013 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - OK, freaking adorable. Really. I love this. And I am sure you wouldn’t look like a jiggle skank in Wonder Woman. But, I’ll trust your judgement 😉 My sister went as her pre-child.
    Isaiah thinks I’m going to be a storm trooper, minion to his Darth Vadar. I probably better get on that…..October 25, 2013 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Seriously! What is the deal with the slutty costumes?? I hate that. It just makes me self-conscious about my boobs and my not-tight tummy. So my default is a hippie b/c I get to wear jeans and a complete top. As you can tell by my post, I’ve had this idea for over a decade! I love that Tucker has been a fireman twice. Ansley is going to be a butterfly/fairy/magical thing for the 3rd year in a row. Every year it’s been a different color. This year we’re going with blue. So I’m on a CRAFTY mission to make a blue/pink tutu (not too poofy, she says!) and blue sparkly antennas this weekend. Hopefully I can avoid the crafty disaster that was your original t-shirt, but I wouldn’t count on it. I’m only about halfway-crafty and I’m much better with nails, hammers, and plywood than tulle and sequins!October 25, 2013 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - So…did you get a brazillian wax when you rocked the wonder woman costume?
    The firestone tire kills me!!!
    If your kid gets any cuter…I’m boarding a plane and coming to your house to pinch his cheeks and rub buddah’s bellyOctober 26, 2013 – 7:31 amReplyCancel

  • Laura - Absolute A++++ for effort! I think your costumes turned out great!October 26, 2013 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - oh my shit that’s such greatness!! hahaha! I LOVE IT! You guys are seriously the cutest ever, and Tucker doesn’t look embarrassed AT ALL. LOL.

    I love the fake belly and your ketchup stain.

    I’m a zombie this year and it’s my favorite costume yet. I’ve been a witch, a vampire, etc., but never anything revealing and sexy…blah.October 26, 2013 – 12:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine Gacad - halloween is one of my favorite holidays, but i am an old pregnant lady now and will probably be in bed before anyone even starts passing out candy! the 2nd trimester gets better i hope!October 26, 2013 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - So this whole thing made me love you even more. I love how you costume-support Tucker, that you went into all that effort to create the logo and I love how it turned out. You guys look like a gorgeous Pixar family, with or without Robert’s fake belly. And, OK, yes, I did wonder about that. XOOctober 26, 2013 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama C. - Kristi, I loved this post for a myriad of reasons, I don’t even know where to begin! Here goes: Love how you made yourself the fatter Wonder Woman Skank; I’m still LMAO at your dad’s “Pervo friend” (I think every dad has one of those, btw); where did you find Tucker’s fireman costume? That is SUCH a good one; and T’s expression in the last pic is priceless.

    In these parts, we usually do more for Halloween than what we’re doing this year, but, energy-wise, I’m pretty tapped out. DS is a football player and DD is his cheerleader. Unique, I know. Eh, I’ll step it up next year, when, hopefully, I’ll be getting more than four hours of sleep. :-/October 27, 2013 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - LOL! I love the last picture. I agree though… we should stop dressing up after the age of 25. The funny thing is I don’t even think your wonderwoman drawing LOOKS FAT. {sigh}October 28, 2013 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Oh my gosh! Hilarious! I love this! Those costumes are awesome!!! My dad had a pervo friend too. Yuck!October 28, 2013 – 5:31 pmReplyCancel

  • SmackOfHam - Really great costumes for the family! I liked when my daughter was young enough for me to persuade into wearing what I wanted her to for Halloween – she was a Ghostbuster a couple of years ago and I was ecstatic. Now, at age seven, she’s gonna be whatever she wants to be….fun holiday post!October 29, 2013 – 6:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - When I said I was planning a super hero costume, my husband got a little excited. Then I informed him it would not be one of *those* costumes. Burst his bubble good!!November 1, 2013 – 8:24 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I love you guys!November 3, 2013 – 7:57 pmReplyCancel

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