Our Land – Through her Sister’s Eyes

Today’s Our Land Series piece has been contributed by a returning author. She is a kickassawesome blog friend who gets much of what I feel when it comes to searching for a diagnosis. Our kids don’t have an autism diagnosis, but both have special needs. They are also both adorable and amazing. I have been continually grateful for Kerri’s input, experience, support and agreement that all children deserve Our Land.  A land where empathy and wonder rule.

Kerri authors Undiagnosed, but we are okay with that and continually amazes me with the fact that she’s able to blog while juggling a billion (not exaggerating) therapy appointments each week, her kids (she has another daughter as well), and her life.  She even manages to fit in a glass of wine now and again.  How could I not love her?

Without more ado-ness, here is her essay:

Our Land – Through her Sister’s Eyes

When Boo was born, we never shielded Abby from the truth about what her sister was experiencing. Although some might (and did) disagree, we took Abby with us on the car ride to Children’s emergency room. In truth, we thought that we would be taking Boo in for absolutely no reason. We mistakenly thought that we would be called over-reactive new parents and sent on our way.

Imagine our surprise when the staff hooked our newborn up to a heart monitor. Abby stayed with us until we were admitted. Then, she and David took the long ride home at 2am. She didn’t know what was going on. She was just 5 years old. The next morning she went to school and told them her sister was in the hospital. Her teachers, shocked of course, asked what is wrong with the baby. Abby’s response:

There is nothing wrong with Boo, she is perfect. She is just in the hospital.

Abby returned a couple of days later to find her sister hooked up to an EEG machine. The doctors thought Boo was having seizures. It turned out she just had a slow brain pattern. In typical 5YO fashion, when Abby returned to school she put the experience in words she could understand. She told her classmates that:

Boo has a funny pattern in her brain.

Since then, there have been many variations to the theme with Abby. At nine, she will tell someone that her sister has special needs. Not really understanding what it means, other than her sister is in therapies and maybe takes longer to do things than other children. By attending Boo’s hospital room, therapy room and doctors office Abby has a unique empathy for those who struggle.

The blessing is that she doesn’t see the struggle but the successes.

​Boo doesn’t have to get better. She is just Boo.

I give a lot of credit to Boo’s huge advances to the love and patience Abby demonstrates. The way she patiently goes through all the words before giving her sister a cookie. The way she cheers her on when Boo takes her first steps on the grass. Or, when Boo is upset by the snow, Abby calmly tells her it is safe.

All in all, Abby thinks her sister is kind of cool. Not many siblings run off the bus and into one another’s arms. Not many sisters will spend hours pushing her sister on a swing at just the right pace (faster than mom would like by the way).

Not many children can say that their name and not momma/dada were their younger sister’s first words.

In the morning when Boo awakes the first thing she does is call for Abby to come get her out of her room.

When I look at Boo through Abby’s eyes, I do not see the way Boo is different from other children in her class. Rather, I see Abby’s little sister.

I wish the World would see her sister, too.

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SNIFF! That last line gets me every time, all of the times. More about my awesome friend Kerri:

Kerri is the mom to two beautiful girls, one of whom likes to keep her and the medical world at large guessing. When not at her paying job, you can find her trying to keep some type of balance between being a wife, mom and puppy trainer. Based on how poorly trained the puppy is…she is having a hard time with balancing it all.

This has been an Our Land Series post that began because of this.  If you’d like to contribute, you do not need to be in the special needs community.  You do need to want to make the world more full of acceptance, equality, empathy and wonder.

Kerri’s photo credits:  Family Tree Photography