“What do I love about myself?” I ask. The devil on my shoulder is quick to answer. “NOTHING. You’re mean to you and you don’t know how to love you.” she says. Which is, of course, completely ridiculous because everybody knows how to love themselves, right? (and er, no, not like *that* pervos)
I mean, sure, self care is hard and all that. It can be close to impossible to say “no” when we want or need to.
Seeing how ridiculous it is that my devil’s first reaction is to say “Nothing,” the angel who lives on my other shoulder is kind, although maybe a little annoyed. “Oh come on. That’s not true. You love SOMETHING about you!”
And I think “Yes, yes, I do love me. I’m worthy of love, especially of myself, dumb devil!”
It’s too easy to see everything I’d change about myself if I had a magic wand. 10 years younger? Please. Six pack abs? Having those would be fun if I didn’t have to work so hard to get them. Plus, nachos.
Society raises us to be full of self-doubt. “Make a joke about yourself, first,” I remember hearing. And so I do. I make jokes about myself to be funny. But what does making jokes about ourselves do to us? It can’t be good. And nobody should feel the need to joke about themselves to feel more comfortable in social situations. And yet. This is what we learn. This is what we do.
Because it’s so easy to see all the things wrong with me, and I know it’s the same of most of us, I wanted this week’s Finish the Sentence to remind each of us that we’re unique, lovable, and have some really cool aspects we share with the world. So tonight, I’m sharing what I love about being me.
The devil is all “LOL, Dummy. This should be fun since you never say anything nice to yourself. I’m getting popcorn.”
The angel is all “Hey now… are you a good friend? A good mom?” and I think, “I am!”
What I Love About Being Me
I’m a good friend (the devil adds “mostly” which is probably true). I’m a good mom (again, the devil adds “mostly” which is also likely true but I’m going with it).
I love that I don’t stress when I only leave myself an hour to do these posts. Do I chastise myself each week, and say “Just do it early next week?” Of course. But I don’t stress about it any longer. If Finish the Sentence isn’t live until tomorrow, I’m ok with that. I love this about myself, mostly because this wouldn’t have been the case in earlier blogging days.
I love that I have a sense of humor, and can crack myself up in a bunch of situations. Not everybody can do this (Robert).
I love that I know how to create graphics and words, even though I’m terrible about geography and directions.
I love that I’m good at ideas. Once, I even won an award for being the best idea person at work. That feels long ago (shut up, devil) but the award is a beautiful glass plate from Greece hanging on my wall to remember.
I love that I feel and connect so deeply, even though I sometimes turn that off. I ugly-cry at stories that involve babies, animals, and nurses showing up. At humans showing up. I cry at unforgettable moments, and anticipated ones. I grieve some moments, before they’re even gone.
I love that even when I don’t completely feel like it, I show up for Finish the Sentence Friday. That I share, because sharing matters.
I asked Tucker what he loves about himself. He said “That I can at least always find something to do.” Also, “That I’m here, and not dead” (it bothers me greatly that he thinks of this, but I understand, as we experienced a lot of loss just two summers ago).
“That I have friends and Nugget so I’m not lonely” (side note, he just tried to pick her up and she dog-screamed and I got annoyed and yelled, so the good mom, good friend to Nugget things may be questionable, at least some of the time).
“One time, I made you laugh so hard you cried,” he said. Then, “I love that I’m not a girl because girls have to experience periods…” Hm. Can’t argue with him on the period thing.
“I’m kind and funny,” he added. And then, “That I have you and you’re a cool mom” (I don’t care if that was kissup or not, I’m taking it).
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, with the prompt “I love these things about myself…”