Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

My son hates getting a hair cut so I took one for the team. It meant applying baby powder to my boobs.

For whatever (sensory?) reason, each time that Tucker gets his haircut, he hates it even more than the last time.  A friend suggested I cut his hair in the tub like she does but let’s face it.  Nobody, including my son, wants me hovering near his ears with scissors.

Anyway.  He was overdue for a haircut.  He already has a big head (thank you, husband) and the mass that was sitting on top of it wasn’t looking like it’s usual adorable mess.  So off we went to Cartoon Cuts where he can watch Cars while enduring the torture that watching a stranger with scissors cutting part of his person off is to a sensitive, shy, speech-delayed, maybe-probably-autistic three year old boy.

We got to the store and he tried to run away.

He looked SO SAD, friends.  So sad.

Eventually, we got him to go in because they sell toy airplanes.  We told him that he could choose one after he successfully received a hair cut.  Easy right?

Yeah.  Well, we got him into the hotseat and he started bawling.  He was scaring the other kids and making me feel like an asshole.  Like a bit meanie mean mean asshole.

The hairdresser came up with the brilliant (and probably unoriginal) idea for him to sit on my lap.  He was happy, mugging it up with me in the mirror.

He let her cut his hair.  I asked her to cut it shorter than I’d planned because I want to avoid doing this again for as long as humanly possible. Success, right?  Yup.  Except for the fact that because he was sitting on my lap, and that he had a lot a lot a lot of hair removed, much of it ended up on me.  In my mouth.

Down my shirt.

Down my bra, people.

I suffered itchy-hair boobs for the next hour and a half.  The worst part is that we didn’t go straight home.  Which meant that I had to be all super-sleuth-ninja-girl sneaking in scratches without anybody noticing.

You know when you have to do something in public that should only be done in private?  Maybe you’re not familiar with trying to scratch itchy hair boobs.  But certainly, you’ve been in public and had the need to remove a wedgie, adjust your pants so that your muffin top is minimized, pick your nose, something.

You look left.  You look right, and you really, really quickly take care of business.  The problem with my particular itchy boob business was that it wasn’t a one-time fix like fixing a wedgie.  I had to keep sneaking in scratches, alternating with using the inside of my arm to try and relieve the hell that was living in my bra with actual real-life-fingernail scratches.  It was that bad.  Repeatedly, that bad…

    

Thank you God, we finally got home.  Normal people would have stripped down and washed that itchy hair off in the shower.  But, because I’d already showered that morning and I try to waste the least amount of time possible doing that every week, rather than taking another, I stripped and rubbed baby powder all over me.  It worked, in case you were wondering.  No more itchy hair boobs.

Plus, the boy got a haircut and a new toy ninee because the 400 that he currently owns were not enough.

Which is enough of a win for me.  What did you all do this weekend?


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Janine Huldie - I had to have Lily sit on my lap for her very first haircut, because she cried just as my cousin went to take the first snip. So I know that feeling well of being the big, bad mommy!! But while I did have some hair on me nothing like you described and sorry that happened to you, but your description and pictures were classic. And nothing like bribing with a new toy I suppose (trust me happens here way often then we need either with what looks like Toys R Us throwing up in out house!!). As for our weekend, I took some time off, went to dinner with Kevin, had a truly nice relaxing Cinco De Mayo with the family and even got to go shopping alone. It was pure heaven (that I may need to repeat next weekend–well at least some of it, lol!!).May 6, 2013 – 7:15 amReplyCancel

  • TheSocialButterflyMom - What a great home-remedy; you’re so resourceful! I’m considering starting to cut Junior’s hair myself. My aunt raised four boys and did the math: $5000 savings over the course of each of their 18 years. That’s huge!May 6, 2013 – 7:16 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - When you said take one for the team I thought WOO HOOO ROBERT!!! Poor Tucker. Boo hates with a capital HATES getting her hair brushed. I still haven’t touched it with scissors.May 6, 2013 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - My non SPD three year old hates haircuts just as much- so been there! We just let him have long scraggly hair 🙂 It’s a surfer dude look we’ve grown almost accustomed to.

    He’s been sick all weekend, so we didn’t do much of anything, though did manage to see a friend in the hospital and have a margarita with friends one night- love!May 6, 2013 – 10:22 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Posts like this remind me how good I have it. My son is like an angel at the barber shop. Loves to go get his hair cut. It’s surprising, because he’s so squirmy about everything else (toenail cutting is TORTURE!). He used to sit on my lap, but the barber was nice enough to give me one of those cape things. 🙂 I’m glad everything turned out OK for you!May 6, 2013 – 10:47 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Whew!! Next time get one of those drape things put on the both of you. How long between haircuts? Never mind, I don’t want you to have to think of it. I wonder how many cameras have seem me adjust my boobs. I like wearing a sports bra for the most part and after while my boobs turn into one, so I have to dig in and put them back, so I look normal. For some reason I have to do it like scratching, so I turn around a store corner and adjust quickly. I’ve never looked up to see it the security camera was there. Walmart my say, here comes the boob digging lady and then follow me all over the store. But I can almost guarantee they’ve seen worse.May 6, 2013 – 11:30 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I would have paid to see you trying to resist scratching your boobs! Next time have the hairdresser dump powder down your shirt before you leave and save yourself the torture. But that won’t be nearly as funny.May 6, 2013 – 1:36 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Ohmygosh this is hilarious…Your posts always seem to make my day!

    I’m glad it was successful in the end though! 🙂 One of my brothers (who is probably on the spectrum as well…never officially diagnosed, but he’s always had some spectrum-y tendencies) used to hate haircuts too. For YEARS he would cry whenever my mom tried to come near him with scissors because he hated the feeling of getting his hair cut! Then, somewhere along the line, something changed, and he suddenly started tolerating them. Now he loves them; he is constantly asking for a haircut!May 6, 2013 – 1:43 pmReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - LOLOLOLOLOL! A mom’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.May 6, 2013 – 2:54 pmReplyCancel

  • MJM - Tucker doesn’t know what he’s missing…getting your haircut is the bomb…especially if it’s from a hot chick. I never thought of sitting on someone’s lap while getting my haircut…sounds kind of kinky…I know what I’m doing next time I get mine cut.

    Boobs rock…even the itchy ones…so take care of them…get yourself checked for breast cancer on a regular basis.May 6, 2013 – 4:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Janine,
    Hahah to Toys are Us threw up in your house. Here, too. Gah!! I am SO jealous you got to go shopping alone!

    Social Butterfly Mom,
    $5000 is a LOT of savings for haircuts. Maybe I’ll try later on. Right now, I’m happy to have him hate the evil barber and think I’m awesome.

    Kerri,
    I guess it’s good Boo is a girl. Or, she’d be one of those cool longhaired boys (which I seriously considered but Robert was like NO – he looks too manly for that – whatever, dad).May 6, 2013 – 5:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Anita,
    Glad to hear that you got to enjoy a margarita one night! That makes up for a lot. Ahhh….

    Jessica,
    Yeah, Tucker hates getting his toenails cut, too. In fact, I wrote a post about it a while ago where he is sitting on the couch, shooting laser beams from his eyes at me when I approach with the “pinchers.” Ugh.May 6, 2013 – 5:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Kenya,
    I guarantee Walmart’s seen worse. Have you seen those “people of Walmart” things? Hysterical. Also, glad to hear that I’m not alone in having one long sausage-boob when wearing a sports bra. 😀

    Dana,
    See, that’s why you’re smarter than I am – having the hairdresser dump powder down my bra would have saved a lot of trouble.

    K-
    Maybe Tucker will end up like your brother and end up loving haircuts! That would be wonderful!May 6, 2013 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Just Jennifer,
    Thanks 🙂

    And MJM – way to look out for me, friend.May 6, 2013 – 5:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean Heff - Kristi- you know, there are those times we all hope for when we write that we’re making someone feel better? You have a lot of those moments in your writing and tonight is no exception. My family gives me no end of grief for the hack-job haircuts my son sports. Ever since he turned 2 he has been terrified of haircuts. So, I went out and bought clippers and do my own work on him. It wouldn’t be that bad if he wasn’t trying to hide his head in my boobs as I cut his hair. So, yes. Itchy boobs, haircut drama. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.May 6, 2013 – 8:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Christian - A mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do. It’s amazing what we will come up with in order to get a job done as moms. It’s a gift.May 6, 2013 – 9:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh how I’ve missed reading your blog! And yes, can totally relate to this one! Except I had to have my sensory-sensitive son sit on my lap while at the dentist. Not a huge deal, except I was HUGELY pregnant at the time with son #2. And very hormonal. So, while my son cried all through his dental cleaning/check-up, I was bawling my head off too. The dentist had to calm us BOTH down when it was all over. At least I can look back and laugh now. Oh and by the way, now he doesn’t mind the dentist at all. In fact, he’s probably the calmest one there of my 3 kids. Go figure.May 6, 2013 – 9:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Aw, Emily. I’ve missed you. I miss you now and I wish with everything I am that I could ease the pain you’re feeling. And this will make me sound like the biggest asshole ever, but Tucker has NEVER been to the dentist. I know, I know. But the poor kid still gags and vomits when I brush his teeth, using a mirror, with Mater, with rocket launch games, with minimal toothpaste….and thanks for the awesome visual image that poor you bawling pregnant out-to-here holding your son on your lap was at the dentist. Awesome huge smiles. And YAY to the fact that he doesn’t mind now! Maybe Tucker will outgrow it!!!????
    <3May 6, 2013 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Jean! I can’t believe that somebody else knows ITCY HAIR BOOBS. Leave it to you (or Melissa) to relate. So awesome. Thanks for making a dumbass feel less alone.May 6, 2013 – 10:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - My youngest hates getting his hair cut, too, and I do the SAME thing (I mean, I’ve never tried the baby powder on the boobs thing, but thanks for the tip!): I tell her to cut it as short as possible so I don’t have to do this again for a long, long time! And he also has a big, beautiful head–but it’s my fault, not his dad’s. They don’t call me horseface for nothing…:)May 6, 2013 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • jen - Seriously woman! Why didn’t you go to some public bathroom and DO SOMETHING! I would have been a wreck, and when I’m a wreck I am CRABBY! I commend you, you are the Obi-Wan of Mean Haircut Mommas. And BTW baby powder works great for sand, which is important to know with those sensory kids 🙂
    MWAH!May 6, 2013 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - SHAY
    Baby powder on the boobs works. I’d have not thought of it myself but the barber put it on Tucker’s neck. I put two and three together and there you go. Brilliant, really.

    JEN
    Um, because I’m dumb? And that never occurred to me? OOOOH thank you HUGE for the baby powder tip with SAND – we are going to Outer Banks this summer and that will save me hours of “ew, mommy, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.”May 6, 2013 – 11:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim Pugliano - First of all, I have a terrible habit of playing with my boobs no matter where I am. I just stick my hands right in my shirt and touch away! They are so soft!

    Secondly, did you know that baby powder also removes sand after a day at the beach? I didn’t read the comments so probably 17 people already told you.May 6, 2013 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Kim!
    You crack me up! They are so soft?!?!? HAHAH. And I think you’re only the second to tell me about sand at the beach, so thank you. Maybe if 17 more people tell me, I’ll actually remember. Which would be cool.May 7, 2013 – 8:05 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - Am I a meanie mean mean asshole for laughing? A little bit? The illustrations are hilarious! Cartoon you is looking very discrete. Next time just pretend that you’re playfully dancing with your son, but you have to pick a dance that requires some serious boob shaking. Like maybe the samba.May 7, 2013 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

  • The Sadder But Wiser Girl - LOL! This made my boobs itch. Just sayin.May 7, 2013 – 3:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Janette @ www.thejohansonjourney.com - Not sure how I stumbled here to your blog but what a fun post to begin with for a first timer. I used to buzz cut my sons hair outside on the patio so that the wind would blow away the hair and had to bring it inside b/c he kept screaming and crying so loud that the neighbors probably thought I was skinning his head. Apparently the sheers would occasionally catch his hair and pull on it. So, we moved to the bathtub where I could just let the hair run down the drain to later create clogging issues, but hey, the neighbors couldn’t hear him whaling. In addition to the fun this was, he is also quite the wuss with having his toenails clipped as I read a comment above with a mom who has the same issue and add that I can’t get him to take medicine without tackling him like a wild boar trying to wedge something between his teeth so he can spit it back at me– seriously, why do they make medicine RED!? Crap is all over my carpets now. Anywhoo– great to meet ya! Love your candid posts! Making a note about the powder remedy!May 7, 2013 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - Found you on Bloppy Bloggers. Am loving all the illustrations. I think we’ve all suffered from itchy boobs at some point 🙂May 7, 2013 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - hmmm…business idea. Kids haircut stores with Child Life Specialists prepared to offer distraction. The store, would of course have a “powder room” available for all parents at the end of the cut.May 7, 2013 – 9:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Tatum,
    HAHAH to having a “powder room” for parents at the end of the cut. Awesome!May 8, 2013 – 8:04 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Bianca,
    So glad we found one another on Bloppy – an awesome group for sure! And thanks so much for the comment.May 8, 2013 – 8:04 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Janette,
    So glad you’re here! Thank you. And yeah, Tucker hates getting his toenails cut too. Sorry to hear that your son has the same issues with hair and nails. I wonder what it is about these guys??May 8, 2013 – 8:05 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Katia,
    hahah no you are not a meanie mean mean asshole for laughing! and dancing! Why didn’t I think of that!? What a great idea! 😀May 8, 2013 – 8:07 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Sadder Sarah,
    Sorry 🙁May 8, 2013 – 8:07 amReplyCancel

  • Melissa@Home on Deranged - I was at a resale shop one time that had a little room where they cut kids’ hair (weird, I know), and this little boy was screaming bloody murder. Like he was on fire. And the parents thought it was hilarious. So, at least you took a step up from there. 😉
    p.s. where did those scratching fingers suddenly come from? just sayin’.May 8, 2013 – 1:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - I’m so sorry for you (and secretly I’m laughing because the pictures are so funny!) xoxo Let me give you a good piece of advice: Sunny always sits on my lap to have his hair cut and we both wear a hairdressing cloak? cape? each. Whatever the appropriate translation is. It helps not to have any hair go down your bra! Hugs and kisses!May 14, 2013 – 11:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi - Joy,
      It’s okay to be secretly laughing at me. They actually did give us a cape but for some reason it got all twisted around and opened up and well, yeah, hair in my bra. Hugs and Kisses back, dear friend! Thanks for catching up on so much today! You rock!May 14, 2013 – 7:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie Chenell DeNeen - Great post to link up. I remember reading and laughing and nodding the whole way through. But you know…I do like Baby Powder. I resurrected it after child 3 was born, and it’s just so much fun to put on…as long as you don’t inhale it.June 11, 2013 – 9:32 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Ohmigosh! Now I know that there is a true sense-memory thing going on here, because as I read your post, *my* boobs started itching! I had almost this exact experience with 5 y/o Neff who didn’t want his hair cut with clippers or scissors and wouldn’t be bribed. Fortunately we weren’t at the hairdressers, but your story was as bad for me as when someone tells me anything about nits.

    Rats. Now my hair itches too!June 11, 2013 – 7:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - Ah the boob sweat post! Yeah! My boobs still itch after reading it twice. Thanks for hooking up with us lady!June 11, 2013 – 11:55 pmReplyCancel

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