10 Disasters to Avoid When Moving Across the Country

I know, another post about moving to Colorado. But I’m still in the thick of it and the disasters we’ve encountered moving across the country are fresh, and keep coming.

Oh. Also, sorry for the occasional ragey rantyisness that may come through my helpful advice. Like the title says – disasters (but in the first world way – I know how lucky I am to have my people).

Here are 10 disasters to avoid when moving across the country:

10. Don’t Procrastinate Clearing your Clutter

Never again will I not sort through my son’s things for years. I’ve always been good about going through his clothes, but he’s an only child, and it’s easy to get lazy and sentimental about toys he used to love.

Before moving, we had a yard sale, donated to Salvation Army twice (a LOT of stuff), and still, as I unpack, I’m filling boxes with things I wonder why I bothered moving.

9. Don’t Decide a Potted Cabbage Plant Deserves Room in the Car Ride Across the Country

I know, right? Not what you were expecting. Tucker had this school project and insisted we bring his cabbage plant. It did fine in the car but took up valuable space and now looks really sad outdoors in spite of us moving it around from sun to shade, water to damp…

Looks like the kid won’t win $1,000 toward college over this project anyway, so we could’ve avoided listening to whining about how the cabbage plant was in his foot’s way for 1,600 miles.

8. Don’t Rent a U-Haul to Carry Photo Albums

Most of your belongings are safer in the truck than in hotel parking lots. We originally planned to rent a small U-Haul to carry photo albums and our most loved possessions.

When I started thinking about staying in hotels each night, the U-Haul felt less safe than the sealed truck did with everything packed in so much paper that burglars would have to spend an hour finding something worth taking. I did pack jewelry and birth certificates in the car, but we didn’t rent a U-Haul. The small things like photo albums arrived safely. It was the furniture they murdered instead.

7. Don’t Think Your Furniture will be Fine — it will be Murdered

Before leaving, I told Robert “as long as they don’t screw up my bed…” and of COURSE (!) the dummies who packed our stuff (because they were on orders from the US Government) disassembled things like my stainless steel headboard and footboard.

I’ve moved that bed across country and across town nine times now and nobody has EVER taken it apart like that. Rather than unscrewing one of the headboard spots, they broke the welding. I’m really hoping they can fix it.

Also, pretty much every piece of heavy furniture has dolly marks on the edge somewhere, where the wood is either caved in and splintered, or dented and scratched. I might take the time to go through and pad all the edges of my furniture for my next move.

6. Don’t Forget the Pain from Your Previous Move

Remember the pain. I’m hoping writing this down doesn’t make me forget how much this move has utterly sucked.

5. Wear a Dust Mask Even though You’ll Look Stupid

I haven’t stopped sneezing in four weeks. It’s crazy how much dust lives in hidden places.

4. Try to be at Your Closing if You Buy a New Home

We’d walked through twice before making an offer and the rest was done remotely, which felt fine at the time. Once we got here? The buttholes who previously owned the home had removed the towel hooks in the master! Seriously! I mean, maybe they spent 1,001 hours crafting them but surely the home came with towel racks before then? Put something up!

They also took the curtain rod in the eating area, so we’re blasted with western sun. You’re allowed to take your curtains. That’s expected, even. But to take the rod down? How much money are you saving? Plus, I’m still hung up on the towel rack thing. Removing a place for people to hang a towel when they get out of the shower is petty and totally buttholish. Mean-meany-mean, even.

3. Don’t Assume They’ll Clean.

I’ve moved pretty often in my life, and have never ever ever before moved into a home where the previous (see number 4 for BUTTHOLES) left the cabinets filthy.

You’ve got kids? Fine. Hire somebody to come wipe cabinets out after you leave, jerks. When new people move in, they’re prepared for dust and stale air but not your cheese and toast crumbs in every single cabinet. Nasty.

2. If Moving for the US Government, Ask about Your Options

If you have any options at all, don’t let the US Government arrange ANYTHING. Seriously. They send out bids to whatever scumbag companies are listed on GSA then won’t call you back when those companies reschedule you four times and never call you back. Here’s more about the harsh and horrible truth about moving for the US Government.

Finally, 1. Don’t Assume Experts are Experts

Never again will I assume experts are experts, or that managers are more likely to help when there’s a problem. Yesterday, when waiting on our shipment to arrive (after learning that the driver had been here since Monday), I spoke to the manager of the company handling the move (contracted by the US Government).

Trying not to cry, I got upset when he didn’t know when the unloading crew would come. He said “You sound aggressive, and I won’t listen to aggressive speak this morning. So we’ll just have to communicate through email.”

WTF.

I calmed down and he promised to call me back but had some 12 year old do it for him. Also? We’re still waiting to find out when they’ll come look at all the furniture they murdered.

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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, with this week’s prompt a listicle of “10 things I’ve done that I can’t/won’t do again.” I host weekly with Kenya of Sporadically Yours. This whole 10pm at 8pm thing is going to take getting used to. I might *gulp* have to start writing my posts in advance or something. 😉