Dummy Cleans the Fish Tank

A few months ago, one of Tucker’s friends gave us her old fish tank after upgrading their own. I was completely excited because I knew that Tucker would love it. Off to the pet store! I got the un-chlorinating liquid and PH powder stuff, a filter system, a heater and some other crap that I was assured we needed (meaning that our cool new “free” fish tank ended up costing me about $130). I set it up, let it run for a few days and then Tucker and I went to pick out some fish. We ended up with two guppies and four neon tetras after badgering the guy at the pet store about which were the easiest, prettiest and least likely to die immediately.

Tucker loves it.
He enjoys (over)feeding them, watching them eat and showing them his toys.

After about a month, it became pretty obvious that the filter system wasn’t exactly the cleaning service I’d expected. Turns out, fish poop. A lot. So I went and got one of those sucker-vacuum things and tried that. After almost beheading one of the fish and stirring up a lot of uneaten food and overall grossness, I ended up cleaning it by stirring up goo and filtering it out with the net. That day, good enough was.

It’s now been about four months and at some point, I realized that I need to empty the whole thing and scrub it along with the rocks. There was green goo growing in there.
It was time.

Here is how a dumb blonde mommy cleans a fish tank.
DumbassFishtank-1

In case you were wondering, the fish really do remain alive. It’s been more than a week now and they seem fine. Doesn’t it look pretty all clean? Here, see for yourself:
Fish

by Kristi Campbell

20 comments

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Jennifer - Ohmygod that is so funny! Glad the fish lived!!December 30, 2012 – 10:38 amReplyCancel
- admin - Thanks, me too!December 30, 2012 – 5:19 pmReplyCancel
Joy - Hahahaha! Super cool description! Love it!
Maybe xou can find some good suggestions on google about how to be more efficient. xoxoDecember 30, 2012 – 11:16 amReplyCancel
- admin - Or maybe it’s my husband’s turn. Forever.December 30, 2012 – 4:43 pmReplyCancel
  - Joy - Best suggestion ever! 🙂December 31, 2012 – 2:38 amReplyCancel
kerri - Holy crap, I am laughing so hard right now. I am so happy the fish lived. I don’t think they would have in my house. Can I recommend a nice glass of pinot grigio during step 5. Heck, probably in 3 so you remain hydrated while walking back and forth. Then definitely in step 7 so you can have that sense of accomplishment 🙂

Happy New Year!December 31, 2012 – 10:52 amReplyCancel
- admin - Thanks, Kerri! And as to the nice glass of pinot grigio during step 3, 5 and 7…why didn’t I think of that?!?
  
  Happy New Year to you and yours! 🙂December 31, 2012 – 12:32 pmReplyCancel
Andi at Bringing the Sunshine - All I have to say is…BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!January 1, 2013 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Thanks, Andi!January 1, 2013 – 3:07 pmReplyCancel
Courtney - Ha! You will get a better system sometime! Funny drawings. Fish tanks are so heavy and tricky. that’s why we have a tiny beta bowl. 🙂January 2, 2013 – 5:25 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Argh, Courtney, I’ve considered ditching the whole thing more than once for a tiny beta bowl! Thanks so much for the comment!January 2, 2013 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel
Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 - That was hilarious, but if you’re looking for real advice, you need a gravel vac and a plecostomus (it’s a fish that eats algae).February 19, 2013 – 12:35 amReplyCancel
- admin - Thanks for the comment, Jenn! The gravel vac is how I almost beheaded the fish in the first place (I know, remove them but PAIN). I’ve been meaning to get an uglyass plecostomus for a while…February 19, 2013 – 6:19 pmReplyCancel
Janine Huldie - We (my husband) killed too many fish in the last few months and now have yet to get a new fish for our small tank. In hubby’s defense, it all started when we lost power with Hurricane Sandy and just went down hill from there!! Seriously, Kristy could relate to this post in more ways than one, lol 🙂February 28, 2013 – 8:56 amReplyCancel
- admin - Ah Janine, think twice before replacing those nasty buggers! They’re MESSY. 🙂February 28, 2013 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel
Kenya G. Johnson - LOL!!!! I so enjoyed this. My fish tank is over due for a cleaning. We’ve had this tank since 2009 and I am sooooooo sick of it. The first time I cleaned my tank to death I did kill some of the fish. Now they won’t seem to die no matter what. I haven’t changed the water since November. I keep topping it off when the running water sound starts to get on my nerves. The rocks are so disgusting now. I’m trying to decide if you’ve inspired me to do something about it. LOL!February 28, 2013 – 9:39 amReplyCancel
- admin - They’re such a PAIN! I’d never have taken this “free” tank from our friends had I known how nasty fish actually are. Somebody suggested a placastamus (sp?) which I need to try.February 28, 2013 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel
Kenya G. Johnson - P.S. One of our first fish name was Fin too.February 28, 2013 – 9:40 amReplyCancel
Jen - I was sooooo happy the day our last fish died! I mean… I was sooo sad 😉 Cleaning that tank was a nightmare! Three whole years!!!!! Tell you what, we got dogs after that. WAY EASIER!February 28, 2013 – 7:41 pmReplyCancel
Debbie - Well, I’m glad that fish made it alive. Oh no, what I meant is I’m glad you’ve made it, Kristi. #kiddin’ Haha 😀
Cleaning our fish tank is really a hard work for some people.
Maybe this post could help you to do it more efficient http://goo.gl/vIog32

Good Luck Kristi 🙂February 18, 2014 – 4:31 amReplyCancel