Everything Teenagers Need to Know

Like each of us, I suppose I was many things as a teenager. Awkward, powerful, shy, brave, and all the betweens. Oh, to be able to time travel to myself back then, and impart wisdom to my teenage self.

Everything Teenagers Need to Know

Your best friend’s opinion doesn’t matter. Whether it’s about the boy you like or the shirt you wear too often. In fact, in a few years, your now-best-friend may no longer be your friend at all. Truly-true-real friends don’t make fun of you in a way that doesn’t seem jokey. Truly-true-real friends see who you are beyond what you do for them.

The boy you like doesn’t matter either. There will be more boys, and kinder ones, who see beyond your boobs. Also? The most popular of popular boys are probably not the kindest ones, at least most of the time. Sometimes, the popular boy is the one who corners a girl behind a dumpster. Never forget the behavior of those boys. Never forget. The #metoo of now becomes the #youtoo of the future unless we stop it. Let’s stop it by raising amazing boys. Amazing humans.

Instead, connect with the non-creepy boy who seems shy around you. He probably has hidden gifts and depth beyond your imagination.

You have zero reason to be insecure, although you’ll feel that way, and feeling what you feel is important. Think about why you feel insecure, and remember that all your friends and all the people in the world are also awkward, powerful, shy, brave, and all the betweens.

What you think and who you are is just as important as what anybody thinks and who anybody is. What other people think of you doesn’t matter even though it feels like it matters more than what you think of yourself.

Every decision you make will not change who you’re meant to become. Learning what you don’t want helps you know what you do want. Being somebody other than yourself doesn’t do anybody any good. Being who you are now helps you begin to see who you hope to become.

Don’t tan. Seriously, just don’t. It doesn’t look as good as you think it does, and later, you’ll regret it.

Your perspective will be so much different in five years than now. Also? Five years isn’t as long as you think it is. It seems like a lifetime because when you’re 16 years old, 11 was almost a baby, right? But when you’re 40? 35 seems young, and you’ll miss it.

You are perfectly imperfect right now today, yesterday, and always, no matter what your insecurities tell you. Don’t trust them. Trust the way you feel when your face is in the sun, and you’re excited about what’s next. That feeling matters most of all. You’ll remember and channel it for the rest of your days.

There’s light in the world, and there’s light in you. Always and no matter what.

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post with the prompt “What I wish I knew as a teenager.”

by Kristi Campbell

6 comments

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Emily - All so true and such good advice…especially the “don’t tan.” I’d add “don’t slather yourself in baby oil” to that list too — ugh, if we only knew how BAD that was! Hope you and your family are well and stay well! xoApril 18, 2020 – 8:57 amReplyCancel
- Kristi Campbell - OMG I wish somebody told me “don’t tan” back then. We’re all hanging in there – hope you all are too!April 30, 2020 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel
Tamara - ha! I was so pasty in high schooling – no tan on the horizon.
I wish I had taken a lot of this to heart. I really liked high school, but there are other teen years too, and they’re complicated as well.April 21, 2020 – 6:01 pmReplyCancel
- Kristi Campbell - I liked high school too, at least for the most part. But wow, was some of it so hard.April 30, 2020 – 6:51 pmReplyCancel
Adelaide Dupont - “Truly-true-real friends see who you are beyond what you do for them”.

Finding, making and keeping real friends was a big issue for me as a teenager. And BEING a friend too.

“Instead, connect with the non-creepy boy who seems shy around you. He probably has hidden gifts and depth beyond your imagination.”

And when Mr [or Mx!] Non-Creepy shares his imagination and merges it with yours and gives you imaginative space beyond what you previously knew, showed or expressed. That is for a reason; a season and hopefully a lifetime. At least the impact would be.

“Your perspective will be so much different in five years than now. Also? Five years isn’t as long as you think it is. It seems like a lifetime because when you’re 16 years old, 11 was almost a baby, right? But when you’re 40? 35 seems young, and you’ll miss it. ”

It was only in 2002 that the long-term perspective came into view.

I do think in terms of five-year increments and visions, that is true.

Actually, my 16-year-old self thought my 11-year-old self was very wise.

“You have zero reason to be insecure, although you’ll feel that way, and feeling what you feel is important. Think about why you feel insecure, and remember that all your friends and all the people in the world are also awkward, powerful, shy, brave, and all the betweens.”

When I was young I vastly understated the power of insecurity in my life and in other lives – and I certainly did not understand the magnitude or lack thereof.

FEELING WHAT YOU FEEL IS IMPORTANT. And how important it is not to stuff down feelings – especially if your cultural or subcultural group [the one you’re part of or would like to be part of or see benefits in being part of] does it on the regular. Or your close ones.

This ties in with raising amazing boys and amazing humans.

We can all do this. And it is a thing I wish I had known when I was a teenager.

“When I was fourteen and a little more green – it’s amazing what a couple of years can mean”!April 24, 2020 – 4:48 amReplyCancel
- Kristi Campbell - Oh had we known then what we know now. But you’re right, we can teach our amazing boys to be amazing humans, and hopefully things like being insecure for no reason will lesson with each generation. Or something like that. Love the merging of imaginations!! Brilliant!April 30, 2020 – 6:53 pmReplyCancel