Guppy on crack

Yesterday, I cleaned the fish tank again. They’re all still alive. I know. I was surprised, too.

Cleaning the fish tank is a big deal for me. I hate it, and even worse, I’m shockingly bad at it. Honestly, Tucker would probably do a better job. Okay, that might be a stretch considering that even when he’s putting away his own toys, he usually finds something that he has to play with right.fucking.now.

Anyway, I always get fish-poop contaminated water all over the floor. Plus, in spite of my repeated gentle attempts to move them to their temporary home (a plastic water pitcher did the trick yesterday), I manage to traumatize them. No amount of reassurance that I’m, you know, doing this for them because “hey guys, who wants to live with nasty green gunk growing in your home?” seems to placate them either.

So it’s been almost 24 hours now and one of them is still going nuts. I don’t know if I hurt him, or if he managed to sneak out while my back was turned and buy some crack, but seriously? This is what he looks like.

FishCrazy_edited-1

He’s the blur with an eyeball because he is zooming all over the place. I can only hope that he’ll crash soon. I mean crash as in “crash and burn, aka sleep,” not like crash into the wall or anything. Because Tucker will notice if that fish is dead and I really don’t have time today to make a secret run to find a replacement.

Please help a gal out with a click on the button on your left. The contest page will come up. Then, scroll down the list, find Finding Ninee (it’s number 58 or something – thank you HUGE), and give me a nice orange thumbs up. It’s like a kiss. Without the germs. My breath is ok today though, because I’ve brushed my teeth. I’m sure of it. Please vote every day until Feb. 13 at 7pm at which time the contest will be over. Then I can beg you for something else. Like to give me a back rub or something.

by Kristi Campbell

12 comments

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Emily - I’m just like you — totally impaired when it comes to taking care of a fish. I once wrote a post about this on my old blog a few years ago. I couldn’t even keep a fish alive in a BOWL. One fish. I hated cleaning his bowl so I’d pour some water out and put in new water because I didn’t want to even put a slimy fish into a net to remove him. That fish swam around in green slime for a YEAR until he went to that big ocean in the sky. I swear dogs are much easier to care for than fish! Hope you don’t have to make that run to the pet store either. 🙂February 5, 2013 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Well, so far, he’s still alive. I say “he” because I want to. Not because I actually know, by the way. And you’re right – dogs are easier than fish! And fish are kind of gross, too, if you think about it.
  Cracking up about your fish BOWL. That’s hilarious he lasted so long.February 5, 2013 – 5:57 pmReplyCancel
Josie Bisett - My sis got a fish tank a few years back with a bunch of exotic fish and over the space of a few weeks they started vanishing one by one. She’d find pieces of dead fish floating. It was real sinister. Nothing would happen through the day them during the night she’d lose one. Eventual just these black mean looking fish were left and they turned on each other. The pet shop owner had sold her some evil mini shark creatures. It was all very traumatic. I don’t think she bought any replacements. She’d already spend a bundle on her exotic torture tank.February 5, 2013 – 9:37 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Mini shark creatures? That’s actually fascinating and horrifying all at once. Wow. Talk about traumatizing.
  I wouldn’t buy replacements, either.
  And when I went to buy these fish in the first place, I asked the guy what the easiest, least likely to die fish were. Guppies and Tetras. He hasn’t been wrong. So far.February 5, 2013 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel
Jennifer P. - Haha that’s so funny.
And how did you draw all those rock things in the bottom of the tank? Wow.February 6, 2013 – 8:12 pmReplyCancel
Mama Meerkat - I’m always really afraid that my fish is going to die when I clean the tank! Mini Meerkat loves helping to clean the tank, which mostly involves watching me do it and watching the fish panic in the temporary home.February 6, 2013 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Ah, Mama Meerkat! So glad I’m not alone! They do panic, don’t they? ugh.February 6, 2013 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel
Rachel - The poop-contaminated fish water on the floor made me gag a little bit. By the way, I’ve been voting three times a day for you, and I had Menopausal Mother pimp you on her FB page for votes. It’s helping, right?February 8, 2013 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Holy crap! You did? WOW. You are truly awesome. And yes, it’s helped a TON. Thank you thank you thank you! I need to thank Menopausal Mother, too!February 8, 2013 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel
  - admin - I just Liked her page – can’t see it…will look more. And thank you again!February 8, 2013 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel
Jen - seriously, you’re high-sterical! Thanks for sharing your wacko-ness so the rest if us can see we’re not alone. I found you through mom’s who write and blog. Pretty glad I did 🙂February 12, 2013 – 6:53 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Wow, hi Jen! You’re the first visitor from moms who write and blog. I just joined and haven’t had a chance to check out many other blogs but I’m going to check yours out RIGHT NOW. Thanks for visiting. As a blogger, and new to Finding Ninee, you might like “The evolution of a blogger, part 1 and 2.”
  Thanks so much!February 12, 2013 – 6:57 pmReplyCancel