Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

How bargain hunting on Thanksgiving and Black Friday went wrong

It’s thankful time. But first, I’d like to tell you a story about how bargain hunting on Thanksgiving and Black Friday went wrong. Having not previously experienced the craziness of shopping while still full of laughter and turkey, my mother-in-law and I decided to head out and see whether the deals were worth postponing our scotch drinking for. With Tucker tucked snuggly in bed, and my husband and his father tucked into their Lazy Boys, we headed out to the local Wal-Mart. After circling the parking lot for 37 (yes, I timed it) minutes looking for a parking spot (and almost giving up several times), one finally opened up. Turns out, somebody else had her eye on that spot. Which is where our Thanksgiving and Black Friday bargain hunting began to go wrong.

As we got out of the car, a crazed-looking woman approached. She screamed “You assholes! You took my spot!” Being as I’m usually likely to assume that I’m the guilty party, even when I’m not, I, of course, apologized. Reason and annoyance quickly kicked in, and I realized there was no way she was correct. We’d been waiting, with blinker on, watching a family fill up their mini-van with flat-screened TVs, bulging bags, fishing rods, and a kid’s bicycle for at least 10 minutes. We’d muttered several times that they should hurry up between discussions of what coveted items we were hoping to score on the cheap.

So, I looked at her, and calmly said “I think you’re mistaken. We’d been waiting while the family loaded up their stuff for a while now.” In an attempt to lighten the situation, I added “We weren’t sure they’d be able to fit both a bicycle and flat-screened TV in there for a minute!”

Her: “What do you have against flat-screened TVs?”

Me, puzzled: “Huh? Um, no..noth…nothing…”

Taking in her messy hair and food-stained sweat pants, sure that she’s a mom, I again tried to lighten the situation by saying “Well, except when one has got Caillou playing on it,” chuckling.

Her, with narrowed eyes: “You’ve got something against Caillou, too? Well for Christ’s sake, that little boy is just trying to teach our babies about games and dinosaurs! He’s a good big brother, and is adorable!  Why, he even…” As her voice trailed off, she looked more closely at me. “Hey! You’re that awful blogger who sang a song about that dear boy! I know you!! You called that sweet kid a little shit!”

Me: “Um, noooo…. I think that you’ve…” I stopped short when I saw the bat. The crazy bitch had a freaking bat! In the parking lot of Wal-Mart!!

Her: “I’ll show you, you ungrateful Ho!!”

She raised the bat and swung for my head!! Holy shit! I started to run away and she came after me. Luckily, she only connected once with my left hand before a man came up behind her and wrestled her to the ground while she continued to scream at me.

Unluckily, the bat’s connection managed to break my hand in a few places. It may also have tendon/ligament damage.

And that’s how bargain hunting on Thanksgiving and Black Friday went wrong.

Here it is:

broken hand

Or, um…

…that story could be utter bullshit, and me trying to be more of a badass than I really am.  As in, Thanksgiving could’ve gone wrong because after celebrating Thanksgiving at my in-laws for less than four hours, I fell off of a 1-foot tall cot while putting Tucker to bed.

My Ugg is as tall as the cot

Tucker in 1-foot cot

In my defense, there’s not much room there

Either way, while I am annoyed that I cannot button my pants, put my hair in a ponytail (and learned that Robert honestly doesn’t know how to make a ponytail), type (bloggers/writers/all: tape your hand behind your back, or sit on it and you’ll quickly see typing 1-handed is way harder than it may seem), properly eat a sandwich, and will need to visit orthopedics tomorrow, I’m also thankful.

I’m thankful for hot doctors who work at urgent care on Black Friday, that it’s my left hand that is broken rather than my right, and for button-less sweatpants. I’m thankful that Robert has reduced the number of times he’s said “You’re broken because you fell 12 inches on a carpeted floor,” and for Tucker’s sweet kiss on my boo-boo.

I’m grateful for the deep belly laugh I experienced when the doctor had to ask me to come over to the cabinet so that he could cut my bandages. They lock these high-tech bad boys up.

Clearly the item thieves covet

Clearly the item thieves covet

I’m thankful for adorable turkeys like these, and to have made it home after a nice visit with family.

turkey art

We had laughter and snow-play,

happy tucker

Tucker monkey hat

tractors,

tractor

and a really cool holiday light show.

lightshow bristol

How was your holiday? Anybody end up in urgent care?

PS: I’m thankful for the reminder that yes, more actually can go wrong. I just dropped my iPhone in the toilet. I’m thankful there’s an AT&T store just up the street so that I can get a(nother) replacement.

PPS: okay, guys, now I feel really guilty. I broke my hand falling off the 12″ cot. I just wanted to sound cool.

 

Ten Things of Thankful

 Your hosts:  A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, Home On Deranged, I can say mama, I Want Backsies, Rewritten, Thankful Me, The Wakefield Doctrine



by Kristi Campbell

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  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - For real? This is true? I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Thankfully, I did not end up in urgent care and I actually was expecting to meet a few crazies out on the eve of Black Friday but only met really nice people. It was a bit odd. What a story, Kristi. I pray that you heal quickly and good for you for having a fantastic attitude!December 1, 2013 – 2:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Kelly McKenzie · The University of British Columbia (UBC)
    Nooooo! Iam so very sorry. I initially thought you were kidding about the bat contact. And then I saw the photo. How absolutely unbelievable. I am also hoping that bat wielding Mama did not get to carry on with her shopping! May she have spent the night behind bars. Safe to say she was out to do nasty work, come hell or high water?
    I, too, am always taking the side of nice and polite and admire so much the fact that you spoke up. Good on you. We need to speak up. However, I’m hoping nobody reacts in the same way again. Best to check for a hidden bat before speaking up perhaps? Mend quicklyDecember 1, 2013 – 2:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Ok now I’m confused. Can I be confused about what happened, have the giggles and say I’m sorry at the same time?December 1, 2013 – 2:15 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - ok… I will either laugh… or I will shake my head (and laugh). Now we know certain bloggers we won’t identify ( other than her name rhymes with Lizzi)…. who are know to play a joke or two in fictionalizing a factual event, or is that facutalizing a

    but, …but! if this is true, and my suspicions are raised by the ‘being identified by a stranger in RL, a stranger with a bloggin grudge (great name for a writer’s group, no?), I am so totally envious of such an adventure in blogging… you totally will be famous.

    so come on, Kristi tell us I promise to ….laugh/not laughDecember 1, 2013 – 2:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I love that you are able to look at the bright side and use a broken bone to come up with a hilarious post! And…hooray for hot doctor’s! I can’t believe that you were seriously taking pictures as he was setting your hand. You are a bad-ass blogger, for sure.December 1, 2013 – 2:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - Oh my goodness! I am so glad she didn’t do more damage although feel sick about what she did do. Did the police come? What a psycho!!!December 1, 2013 – 2:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Either way, I am so sorry you broke your hand. Seriously looks so painful and give you credit for even being able to type up this article, because right or left handed, I do use both hands to type and can’t even imagine. Thinking of you and seriously sending hugs your way!December 1, 2013 – 2:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - You had me for a second. Only a second, because she called you an awful blogger in your story, and no one on earth would do that.
    I also can’t see you going out on Thanksgiving night. To Wal-Mart. Maybe Target? Maybe.
    We had a great holiday weekend. We just tried to fit it all in. A huge light show, seeing Frozen in the theater, a big Hanukkah party, a Santa parade, etc.
    Poor Des has a cold from all the excitement.December 1, 2013 – 3:11 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - Pffft!! Hahahaha!!! As soon as you said “caillou” I knew you were making up a story to cover some dumb move. My husband did the same thing when he tore a tendon in his finger simply taking his socks off.
    Regardless, I feel bad for you. That is an unfortunate injury. Good for you, though, still managing to type a full thankful post!
    Looks like Thanksgiving was mostly positive. Completely positive for Tucker, that cute boy.
    Hope you heal quickly.
    OH, and as for the scissors…Great idea!! My kids steal and lose scissors constantly. This chain setup is exactly what I need!December 1, 2013 – 3:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - You totally had me…when I saw the photo of your hand, I said to myself, “holy sh*t! she’s not joking!” I’m thinking writing fiction should be your next pursuit. As for my holiday/Black Friday, well, let’s just say I ventured to the mall myself to pick up the new Xbox One for my boys who thought they would be the most deprived boys on the planet if I did not get it for them for Hanukah…on my way to the Microsoft store, I simply couldn’t pass by the Michael Kors store without paying FULL PRICE for a leather tote, even though every other bag in the store seemed to be on sale. That’s what a dumbass I am…the only person on Black Friday who pays FULL PRICE (yes I had to write that twice) for a bag. However, when I got home, i showed the bag to my husband and said, “thank you for the Hanukah gift – I love it!” Thankfully (here’s my thankful part), he did not ask me if I got it on sale.December 1, 2013 – 3:58 pmReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - You’re broken because you fell twelve inches onto a carpeted floor.December 1, 2013 – 3:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - You had be going until the lady called you out for being the blogger that hates Calliou. Not that you couldn’t be that famous, but your readers would never carry a bat in the Walmart parking lot. Well, I wouldn’t.

    I’m sorry about your hand, Kristi, but any injury that gives you a legitimate excuse to wear elastic waist pants can’t be all bad. Heal quickly!December 1, 2013 – 4:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Well, first of all – so sorry about your hand! Secondly, I was totally buying the Wal-Mart story until you said she called you an awful blogger. Anyone who is actually familiar with your blog would NEVER say that! 🙂 Finally, I dropped my iPhone in the toilet once, too.

    Hope your hand heals quickly!December 1, 2013 – 4:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - OMG! You’re such an asshole! YOU COMPLETELY HAD ME GOING! Right up until she had a bat. Wow! I have tasted my own medicine and it is…
    …Hell no, It’s AWESOME! You rock SO MUCH! And look how many OTHER people you ‘got’, too! I LOVE that you did this 😀 XD

    Totally don’t love that you broke your hand, but this – this was PURE CLASS.

    Glad you had a lovely Thanksgiving otherwise, and that you’ve got so many GORGEOUS pictures of Tucker 🙂 That smile…awwwwwwhhhhhhh 🙂December 1, 2013 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - Oh my goodness, I totally read the second half but I thought you were kidding about the second half! Totally got me. Ha!December 1, 2013 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Ouch! Whether bat or bed, that looks bad. Hope you heal up quickly!December 1, 2013 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Alison - You really had me for a moment with the bat-wielding lady! So sorry your fall from the cot occurred at such an inopportune time, with the holidays upon us. Hope you heal quickly!December 1, 2013 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - Sis! I had no idea you’d hurt yourself. Your hand looks bad. How are you going to …. oh, forget it …. batteries! Anyway, take care of yourself and stay off of, or should that be stay on cots?December 1, 2013 – 6:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - @Clark – I cannot for one MOMENT imagine to whom you refer! *looks innocent*

    @Christine – come ONNN! This was good. This was very well played. 😀 *rolls eyes*

    @Rich – *SNORKS WITH LAUGHTER*December 1, 2013 – 6:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Oh Kristi, that sucks! But you are oh so funny in telling how it happened. You had me going on the first story until the bat came out 🙂 I hope you recover quickly, and glad you’re still finding the good.December 1, 2013 – 7:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - Ohhhh nooooo! So sorry to hear about your injured hand (and your insensitive hubby who would mock your pain!). For a minute there, though, I was really impressed how famous you are that some random crazy lady in Tennessee knows your blog! That woulda been cool (minus the bat, of course).
    You rock, sistah, and I hope work understands why you have to wear sweatpants for a while. Hmmm….maybe I should fake a broken hand….
    (Oh and Tucker gets cuter by the minute. I didn’t even think it was possible for him to get cuter but clearly you have photographic evidence).December 1, 2013 – 7:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - I totally believed you.

    But I was confused at first. How could a small flying rodent do that much damage?

    What you lack in luck you make up for in humor, Girlfriend!December 1, 2013 – 7:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen @ Real Life Parenting - Cracking me up with that cray cray bitch story!! 😉 I knew it was a fakeout when she defended Caillou. You and I both know that shit would never, ever happen … not even with some bat wielding looney tune at Walmart!!

    Good story … sorry about your hand! Sounds like you did quite a number on it! 🙁December 1, 2013 – 7:54 pmReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - What a great story! The Wal-mart one…well, falling off a 12″ cot is a good one too. LOL
    Looks painful Kristi. Hope it heals quickly:)December 1, 2013 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - I totally believed this story… up until the part where she started sticking up for Caillou! That part was too far-fetched! ‘)December 1, 2013 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - yo, peeps… you rock. I’m sorry to those who thought somebody really beat me with a bat. i promise ill catch up on your blogs and thankful things…really. but right now, i need to get some sleep, heal, etc,…bleh.
    xoxo to all n i do promise I’ll catch up!!!December 1, 2013 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Mytwicebakedpotato - You totally had me until the part when’s she came after you with the bat!! So sorry that you were truly injured-speedy recovery I hope! 🙂

    I had a couple of Thankful posts that didn’t get much play but I think you might like them 🙂 http://mytwicebakedpotato.comDecember 1, 2013 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - My first thought was WOW THAT IS SO COOL PEOPLE KNOW HER FROM HER BLOG!!!! And then it got ugly, and I freaked OUT!!! Oh YOU!

    Seriously- you must give more details when you say you literally stumbled off a bed that is the size for the Elf on the Shelf and freaking BROKE your hand! How. On. Earth. Does. That. HAPPEN?

    Did you like twist and attempt to flip with your feet in the air and then land on the high dresser like a ninja mom, and then take a plunge into the window and drop three stories down to your cement patio iron furniture and land on your hand?

    Must’ve been what happened. 😉December 1, 2013 – 11:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - OMG, hilarious! You got me with the Walmart story. I was once knocked over and nearly trampled by crazy holiday shoppers (I was about 8?) so I totally bought your story. Too funny. Sorry to hear about your injury, and your phone. I dropped my phone in Josh’s bath this weekend. Not as gross as the toilet, but not good either. They had the phone I wanted on sale for free at Best Buy this weekend, so I did some shopping on Saturday. Stood for an hour in line to get it and somehow managed to hurt my knee. No where close to your injury, but dang! It’s tough getting old! Hope you heal soon! 🙂December 2, 2013 – 12:44 amReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - Okay, all joking aside (and there’s a lot to be had, obviously) OUCH!!! That looks majorly painful! I hope you got some killer pain meds with that injury!

    YAY to hot doctors…Yummy!

    Precious, Precious pics of Tucker! omg…..December 2, 2013 – 1:44 amReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Omg! I really thought the first story happened. I was all upset and thinking wow, people have really lost it! LOL. It’s a little funny how it really happened though. 🙂 You never cease to make me laugh when I come to your blog. Our holiday was amazing! Found out we are expecting another bundle of joy a few days before and now that I’m at the 6 week mark I’m all sorts of crampy and nauseated but that’s about it! Dinner was amazing and of course things were just a little bit better because the Cowboys won on Thanksgiving. 🙂December 2, 2013 – 2:04 amReplyCancel

  • Misty - oh that was funny! i totally fell for your scary walmart encounter!December 2, 2013 – 7:49 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Oh sweet baby Jesus, I was doing okay until I got to the UGG picture. That did me in. My keyboard is now covered with coffee. Thank God, I had cleaned it off and refrained from taking another sip when I got to the scissors picture. Best post ever.-AshleyDecember 2, 2013 – 7:53 amReplyCancel

  • Evil Joy - OMWORD!!! That is the BEST! I was totally sucked in – because you know…there are Black Friday Crazies out there!!!! The bat – the swing – the connect…and the falling off the bed. I’m so sorry your had is broken – that sucks! I broke my wrist a couple of years ago and it’s no fun…but you’ll heal fast!!!December 2, 2013 – 8:01 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Ok you really had me going there! That was hysterical!! Anyway, I have done plenty of ridiculous things including falling on the ice in my driveway and getting a concussion so I am with you!December 2, 2013 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

  • K - I totally believed that story until she mentioned Caillou! 😉
    And ouch! 🙁 I hope your hand feels better soon.December 2, 2013 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Whoops, sorry for the typo — I mean until YOU* mentioned Caillou! It’s been a long day already, haha.December 2, 2013 – 2:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Heather - I was simultaneously thinking this is hilarious and this is frightening! People get just crazy on Black Friday so it was totally believable. That said I’m glad it was a cot that attacked you and not wacko shooper! Hope your hand feels better soon!December 2, 2013 – 5:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - You totally had me for a minute. I am so gullible. My jaw had dropped. No matter what the actual circumstances, I am SO sorry this happened. And did you know I dropped my iPhone in the toilet last week? Cheers, fellow dumbass. (I mean that lovingly. And I don’t really think you’re a dumbass.) Please don’t reply to this comment- and how did you write/type/draw that post??? Hugs to you, pal!December 2, 2013 – 6:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - Oh my gosh! Ours wasn’t what we planned, as my husband’s family that was planning to be with us a few days had to cancel plans last minute. We spent the day with friends and had a nice day, but we were all still bummed.

    Hope that heals quickly :/December 3, 2013 – 1:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - You realize I seriously thought this happened to you until the very last second of the essay? Silly Moo Cow.

    Sending kissies to your hand. Those work, right?December 4, 2013 – 1:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - Oh Kristi, I am sorry you hurt yourself! I am very late on my round around the hop and I hope that your hand has improved by now!

    The story you made up was cool and I was impressed that someone else recognised you for a split second! 😉

    Love all the cute pics!

    Take care!December 4, 2013 – 4:16 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - You actually had me going! I was like OMG is she that famous that some gross lady at Walmart knew who she was???
    LOL
    I am sorry for your hand. That sucks so hard. I was in a cast on my leg for months and months (on and off) and that sucks and I don’t use my leg to type!
    But your story had me LMAO so there’s that!December 4, 2013 – 10:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Oh NOOOO! Either way it happened (although the bat story is fabulous), the hand injury is so not cool. Good thing you got a hot doc in urgent care. 🙂 We did not have urgent care on our weekend agenda, but I did end up flat on my butt in bed for four solid days with the worst stomach bug ever. Sounds pathetic – but really it was horrible.

    Glad you have some other lovely things on your list that are not as bad as the hand – just love the PS about the phone in the toilet – laughed out loud for the first time in days!

    Hope your hand feels better soon!December 5, 2013 – 2:52 amReplyCancel

  • Laura - The sad part is that the lunatic at Walmart story was actually believable! I could see someone actually doing that. Sorry about falling off the cot, but you’re still a bad ass either way.December 5, 2013 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Dee Williamson - Hilarious!!! Oh my goodness!December 5, 2013 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - I totally believed your story. I was shocked that a woman would act that badly and assumed she was intoxicated or something. Crap, a one-foot fall – sounds like something I would do. I had to type with one hand/no hands when I had what I thought was carpal tunnel, but it wasn’t that bad. The voice-to-text apps work pretty well once you get the hang of them. You have to say the punctuation which is kind of a pain. Are you right-handed? If you write it out on paper, then speak it, it would probably be easier. Ugh.December 6, 2013 – 12:44 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Holy schnikes!!! I was physically activated over the lady with the bat and ready to fight alongside you and…and… ok…deep breaths. That was convincing, Kristi. I had a similar cast on when I was a kid and they are a bugger. I had the showering part the worst! You do carry mace I hope. That picture of Tucker totally breaks the cute boy meter!!! Btw…love me some tractors too. Great memories 🙂February 14, 2014 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

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