How I Lost to Elf on the Shelf after Years of Winning

I’ll come right out and say it. I gave up some personal dignity last night. Heartfelt integrity even — because of holiday commercialism, of all things. As in… (*shuffles feet and looks sideways*) I gave into the Elf on the Shelf. I know. I’m more embarrassed by me than you are, I promise. And after years of winning? I lost. Plus, Tucker’s nine years old, which makes the whole losing to Elf even more humiliating.

How I Lost to Elf on the Shelf after Years of Winning

I’m weak when it comes to giving my son Tucker what he wants, but I’ve been able to avoid the creepy Elf on a Shelf for years. The elf wasn’t wildly popular until he was about four, and my first reaction was that the elf was creepy AF and so smug looking! Yuck.

I’ve bragged about winning, and one of my most popular posts each December is how the Elf is creepy. This year though, I lost. Here’s how it happened.

Last Year (or maybe the year before)

“Mom, all the kids in my class have an Elf on the Shelf. How come one never came here?”

“Probably because I think they’re creepy,” I said. He agreed they’re a little creepy and only mentioned it a few times after that. I think seeing 1,001 boxes of them at Target helped him know they don’t just show up at your house like a little brother but we never talked about it, so that’s my assumption. Honestly, I was glad he dropped the subject. Plus, it felt late in the game, you know? He was already seven or eight when this conversation began.

This Year. Last Night to be Exact…

“Mom, all the kids in my class have an Elf on the Shelf, and they do really funny things! Like Carlos’ elf took a house tour riding on his dog’s back, and Taylor’s elf made a mess of her mom’s flour for baking cookies because she wanted cookies!”

“But isn’t it creepy that he roams around your house at night?” I asked. I hadn’t told him about how I used to behead my barbies at night but still, he must have learned some of this while growing in my body, right?

“But mom, he doesn’t. He flies to Santa and comes back. Plus, I told you Carlos’ elf took a house tour on his dog’s back and that’s hilarious!”

I thought about it. A lot. I mean why spend almost $30 on something that is…

1. Creepy AF and

2. Has “magic” that’ll probably only be believed in this year and maybe next?

The whole “who knows how long he’ll believe” part was the initial trigger. When he was born, I’d have guessed he wouldn’t believe in Santa by now because I didn’t, but he believes completely. Also, like I said, I’m weak and Googled where to buy them. Once Robert got home last night, I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond ($2 cheaper than Target with better take-out restaurants on the way back home), and bought Buddy. Our new Elf on the Shelf. Tucker and I even registered his name online within minutes of him coming home, and Tucker was super excited about the online certificates we got.

I sorta hate the creepy (he’s so smug looking!) elf still… but friends? He’s actually amazing, as far as what he’s done for Tucker.

Tucker did his homework last night without crying because Buddy was watching. When I swore over something, he told me Buddy was listening. The best part was that he was so curious about how to handle him, and what to do, that he read the book. Without me saying “time to read!”

Like, he read the book by himself and then got all worried that we’d touched Buddy. Which meant that I had to read the book to figure out the rules, because WTF we’re not supposed to touch the elf? Nope. You can talk to him or her, and tell your deepest secrets in the plastic ear, but no handling. I had to convince Tucker it was okay that he’d touched Buddy since he’s nine.

“That’s probably only for little kids who might accidentally leave them on the floor and the dog could eat them.”

“Moooooommmm,” he said. “Even a dog knows an Elf is magic. They probably know how to talk to dogs telling them to back off and stuff. Still, I’ll put him out of Nugget’s reach.”

“Good idea,” I replied.

And then, he went to bed wondering about what Buddy would do. And so I did what I swore I’d never do after all these years of winning the elf, and lost. I posed him by the (leftover Halloween <—- whatever, don’t judge) candy, made a tiny mess, and wrote Tucker a letter from Buddy.

The letter says “Tucker, thank you to your family for adopting me. I like my name Buddy. Also sorry but I ate your candy.” I even made my handwriting look kid/eflish! Gross, right? Gahhhh, I’m about to turn into one of those moms, aren’t I? The ones that have to think of naughty things for their elves to do every night? I mean, remembering to move the elf each night feels huge in itself.

After I took this photo, I went more crazy mom, and put a little piece of chocolate on Buddy’s leg and wondered what in the world I’ll do tonight and the rest of December.

I can’t believe I’ve lost to a freaking holiday toy.

Also, I’m glad I did. Tucker’s first words after “NO, not yet, more sleep before school!” this morning were “I wonder if the elf moved last night.”

“I didn’t see,” I said, lying to my kid which is pretty much what the commercial part of Christmas is all about…

“Don’t look,” he said, and got up to investigate and then spent more time reading the book to find out whether he was supposed to leave the elf where he was or put him back on the shelf he went to bed on last night.

I suppose that in all, we’re winning, even though I’m going to have to set a reminder on my phone for the rest of the month to move the thing, and make him do something silly. Or, at least move him. Moving him is a win, right?

PS I didn’t buy the stupid sweater-scarf combo, and never will

PPS OMGGGG

PPPS He’s seriously creepy and smug-looking, right? Tucker thinks he’s cute, so whatever. But STILL!!!!

***

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, where this week’s prompt is from my awesome co-host Kenya Johnson of Sporadically Yours and is “The last book I read was…”
I wasn’t planning on writing about Elf on the Shelf, aka Buddy in this home, but it is the last book I actually read (also gross, because who wants to read about the Elf on the Shelf as the mom of a nine-year-old?). 🙂 Still, truth, and I was glad of it because the current book I’m reading is only so-so.