How Much Time Do We Have to Become Who We Want to Be?

How much is too much? How much is not enough? New Order sings “It’s never enough until your heart stops beating,” but what does that mean? I like to think it means we still have time, at least for now, to become more of who we’ve always wanted to be. 

How Much Time Do We Have to Become Who We Want to Be?

How much indeed. Do we still have time? Maybe time speeds up as we age to remind us that we’re running out of it.

How much time do we have to see another natural wonder where its vastness makes us feel very small and also larger than we usually feel?

I’m not sure how feeling small works to make us feel larger in vast spaces, but I know it does. I felt it at the Sand Dunes. Small, large, and all of the between. I’ve felt it at the edge of the ocean, and on my porch stoop, thinking about other people, in other lands. I’ve thought about it when it comes to butterfly magic and mourning. And celebrating, because they’re both with us, always. The give and take of grief and magic.

It’s hard to imagine, even being there last weekend, how truly huge the Colorado Sand Dunes are. How much sand does it take to make mountains?

There will always be more to see, to experience, and to learn. It feels like the nation is learning a little now, or at least trying to when it comes to understanding and educating ourselves on white privilege and systemic racism.

How much time will it take for people to truly understand that human is human, love is love, and that each of us deserves a chance to become more of who we’ve always wanted to be?  

There’s still time today to conquer fears and hold a creature that has more in common with dinosaurs than it does with humans. 

How much fear is ingrained when a baby alligator behind glass lunges at you three times before you try to film it lunging again, and you still jump back when it happens and ruin the video? (Video is half-speed)

I spent another five minutes trying to get this dude to lunge at me again, vowing not to flinch. Finally, after realizing my family was way ahead of me and that I was missing out on other dinosaur-like creatures, I gave up filming. 

How much joy is there in meeting a movie star, even when he’s behind a fence?

And joy – how much joy is there in rolling down a sand dune just because. 

How much longer will the pandemic last? The isolation is easing a bit but still, we’re careful about hugging people who don’t live with us.

Hugging friends and parents will be so nice. 

How much love is it when you love more than one somebody all the way?

And seeing Mother Nature’s watercolors with them on a random Saturday, because he said “this day is so long,” and it was only noon…

How much is enough? How much is too much? I don’t have the answers but I know that when it comes to growing into who we hope to become, it’s fast and slow and surprising. I know that when it comes to love, it’s just right when it’s all the way. 
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, with Mardra’s prompt of “How Much?”