Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

I am thankful that I’m not a jerk.

This week, I am thankful that I’m not a jerk. I’ll get to that in a moment. First, I’d like to share some Halloween photos and the fact that we were not alone in dressing up with our son.

I’m thankful that we, in our The Supers: Ordinary Style Halloween get-up were pictured in a lovely article in NBC Today, about whether to dress up with your children, along with Sandra Bullock (eep! Maybe she knows who we are now?).

Anyway, Tucker had a truly great Halloween. And I’m thankful for that.

He flew:

Tucker Campbell 2013 Superman1

He laughed.

He called me a princess.

Supers Bad Pic mom and boy

He admired creepy decorations.

Cool Creepy House Trick or Treat

He wasn’t intimidated by the crowds.

Crowd

And he had sweet giggle snuggles after bath time.

GiggleSnuggles

He only tried to enter two houses, and was met with laughter rather than judgement. He did what he could, and it was more than enough. He said “Knock knock” and used the phrase “Can I have candy pwease?” rather than “Trick or Treat” twice. That, too, was met with kindness rather than a correction. I didn’t have to explain to a single solitary person that he’s delayed, has trouble with words, or anything of the sort. His smiles and excitement were enough. For that, I am thankful.

I mentioned at the beginning of this that I’m thankful that I’m not a jerk. Last night, we went to Noodles & Co. for dinner. Tucker loves their mac n cheese (me, too, but I stuck with the 330 calorie Mediterranean sandwich because even my fat pants are getting too tight). Anyway, he gets REALLY excited about Noodles’ mac n cheese. When they delivered our food to the table, sans his, he gave the most adorable pouty face on the planet and said “Whewe my cheese?” and then literally clapped when it arrived seconds later. Adorable, right?

The woman at the table near us didn’t think so. When he clapped, she did this:

Tsk woman

I just smiled at her, stole a few bites of Robert’s less-healthy-than-my-meal when he wasn’t looking and got on with it. Tucker asked me to blow on his noodles. He was not loud, or weird about it. He was a little kid whose meal was too hot. He wanted help from his mom. His request for me to blow on his noodles was also met with a jerk-face:

Tsk woman_2

And then, her true jerkiness became even more apparent when she said this, to her husband or whoever the unlucky sod was sitting with her:

too cold for shorts

First off, it was 64 degrees.

Second, I refrained myself.

I did NOT do this:

Mad Face

In fact, I didn’t do anything at all. Why? Because I’m thankful that I’m not a jerk. Next time I see her though, if she says anything to my kid, I might tell her that her dress was beyond fugly. And that she’s a jerk.

What about you? What are you thankful for today?

Ten Things of Thankful

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Don - Good for you for being so patient. Sadly, the wife and I are both always ready to snap at the next person who acts like a total inconsiderate dick in public. It rarely takes long.November 3, 2013 – 5:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Cyndi - What a great costume Tucker had! What a sweet little guy!
    As for that woman. Well…I grew up with a severely handicapped brother and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve “politely” gone up to people when they’re staring with their mouths agape and said, “did you get a good look?” Then I’d smile and walk off. People never knew what to say when I did that and it always made me laugh. You exercised brilliant restraint. I don’t know if I could have – but I would have been all passive-aggressive. haha. Like, in a loud voice said something like, “you know, inconsiderate people make me nuts.”
    LOL.
    You go, girl. Keep on rockin!November 3, 2013 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Don,
    I kindof wish I’d have said something.
    —
    Cyndi,
    Hey I might have to try the passive-aggressive move! That’s awesome!
    —November 3, 2013 – 5:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Tom - Nice costume Tucker! You went all in! Who picked it out? Looks like Dad only did the cape…lol!November 3, 2013 – 5:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Out one ear - I guess we aren’t the only family who has to deal with jerks (referring to mean man in parking lot post I wrote a week ago), which is way too bad. It’s hard when we are in the moment to hold our tongues, but I too didn’t want to be more of a jerk than I already was.

    So happy to hear it was a great Halloween for you all.

    Writing to you from Costa Rica, Kristi!November 3, 2013 – 5:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Tom,
    Robert did glasses and tie and pocket protector and fake belly AND cape! Whoot!
    —November 3, 2013 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - I can’t decide which part of this post I love most (apart from the woman, who was a TOTAL jerk, and I secretly hope that one of the waiting staff noticed and served her a sneezeburger) so I’ll just put my biggest, shiniest seal of approval on the whole thing, and say thank you SO much for sharing it.

    Actually, no, I think I decided my favourite part. The gorgeous Tucker-after-bath-snuggly-photo. The boy is simply GORGEOUS. And wonderful. And didn’t he do SO WELL at trick-or-treating 😀

    This is my smiliest moment of the evening. Thanks. I needed it.November 3, 2013 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy at kissing the frog - First off, what a great article on Today.com – so cool you got to be in it! Second off, that lady – Pffft! If anyone is saying stuff about me and my kids, I don’t notice anymore because I’m too busy. I’ve had my share of things said about my kids. I figure they either never had kids or just had one perfect little angel (Pa-ha!), or it was soooo long ago they don’t remember. I definitely operate by the “pick your battles” rule. That equals survival to me. xoNovember 3, 2013 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - Tucker, I think you’re who God had in mind when he created superman. And Kristi, if your drawing is anything like her dress, you definitely should have commented on it…”hey bitch, Barney called and he wants his costume back!”

    In my book that’s not all being a jerk 🙂November 3, 2013 – 5:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I’m always amazed that people act so ignorantly. Good for you for taking the high road. I don’t think I could have done it.
    So on to a much better subject, your little boy is superb! God love him, the superhero! I’m glad he had a great Halloween!November 3, 2013 – 6:20 pmReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - First off, you guys look so cute! Great pictures! Every kid should always have fun on Halloween:) Has he consumed all his loot yet?:)
    Did mom and dad help with that? lol
    You showed great restraint with the ignorant woman. No doubt because of Tucker. Sometimes a look can be worse than words. Next time give her the look that stops trains and buses:)November 3, 2013 – 7:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m thankful for you because that made me LOL and I’m thankful for Tucker because he is a beautiful, wonderful boy. You most certainly are not a jerk, but that lady deserved was! 🙂November 3, 2013 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Ok, seriously you are so not a jerk and give you such credit for refraining from answering this woman, because she truly was a creep for her reactions, as well as what she said to her husband. Nothing is worse then those who are judgmental and don’t think before they speak. And Tucker was adorable as Superman!! 🙂November 3, 2013 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

  • nothingbythebook - I love you, you awesome not jerk, you. xoxoNovember 3, 2013 – 7:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I can’t stop giggling at your rendition of her dress. And calling her “asswipe”, even if it didn’t really happen. I’m really happy you’re not a jerkface either. Some people suck at life, no need to sugarcoat that one.
    We had an experience in a restaurant with a jerkface recently. Des was screeching loudly. Decidedly more annoying than Tucker, I bet. The lady was rude. We let it slide. The waitress didn’t and called her a “snot” out loud. And then said that people who hate noises and babies should just stay home.

    True story.November 3, 2013 – 7:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - I’m looking for the photo of my husband wearing shorts while digging us out of the snow from the 2011 blizzard.November 3, 2013 – 7:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - See…she CANNOT be thankful she is not a jerk, because she is a jerk. You, on the other hand, are not. You are not only not a jerk, but you are a super cute and lovely family. Now, I want to blow on Tucker’s noodles!November 3, 2013 – 8:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Wow–you’re famous! 🙂 It looks like your family had a wonderful time on Halloween.

    I’m sorry about the woman at the restaurant. You exercised great restraint. There must be a clever, yet polite comeback, but I haven’t perfected it. Something along the lines of “I’m so sorry–you obviously have not had the privilege of raising a child with special needs, and I’m sure that ignorance contributes to your displeasure.”November 3, 2013 – 8:36 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - allowing that I am not a good kids adult, I will simply say, ‘Photo 2’… says it all for the fact of Tucker’s take on the evening…
    as to your co-diner (I will now appropriate and mangle a time-honored joke)… you know, Kristi, those of us who write successful blogs are in no small way experts on human behavior and character. The Wakefield Doctrine is a blog about personality types so I feel qualified in offering my insight into the personality and resultant behavior of the woman at the restaurant, it’s simple! she’s an asshole.

    (op cit. this weather woman).

    lolNovember 3, 2013 – 9:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - First thing I noticed in your pictures: Tucker’s kissable bare toes peeping out from under his Superman costume. Second thing I noticed was the hideous dress on your rendition of the woman in the restaurant.

    Do you think Tucker would go to the bank with me and ask, “Can I have money, pwese?” I’ll bring a bushel basket to hold all the cash they’d throw to us.November 3, 2013 – 10:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I soooo admire your self-restraint. I just KNOW I would not have been able to control myself. My mom used to say I inherited her feisty Bronx (NY) genes. And as for wearing shorts in “cool” weather, she would have just loved to see my boys, who wear shorts year-round!!November 3, 2013 – 10:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - First off, look at you go, Hollywood!! That article is way too cool!

    Secondly, I know that you already realize this, but that woman’s sour face and attitude and comment were all about HER, not about you. She’s an unhappy wench. You can’t control people, but you can control your reactions to them. I say don’t let it get to you. It’s easier said than done, but seriously, if you let people like this bother you, they win. And we don’t want the jerks to win!

    Last, I’m thankful you’re not a jerk, either. I prefer my friends to be SKANKSTAS. 🙂November 3, 2013 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty - i think it must be a “southern” thing because people often give dirty looks and comment when they think children are not dressed appropriately for the weather. i am very guilty of this, but i try to limit my judginess to people with infants! usually just raised eyebrows and a fleeting thought of “i can’t beleive they don’t have a blanket over that baby!” and them i’m on my way.

    the great thing is, since tuck was having such an awesome evening, that lady just thought you were a bad parent and your kid was underdressed and adorable!

    i gotta know, were you still wearing your costume at the restaurant? oh, and you’re my halloween heros for dressing up as a family!November 4, 2013 – 5:42 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - You’re the opposite of “jerk”, my friend, and it’s so sad that the world is full of self-appointed judges. Like the (is it North Dakota?) Halloween lady. I was thinking about this a lot this week. The best thing to do with jerks is ignore them (easier said than done, I know) and know that you are contributing to promoting kindness with your Our Land series and this particular blog hop. You’re awesome 🙂November 4, 2013 – 6:05 amReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Wow, what a complete bitch. I admire your self restraint. Tuck looked so happy, who cares.November 4, 2013 – 7:39 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - HA! Totally not a jerk but instead of telling her he is on the spectrum you can do what David did recently (really loudly): Boo go say hi to that lady next to us, she looks like she could use a hug 🙂

    On another note, so freaking happy for you that Halloween was a success. WOO HOO TUCKERNovember 4, 2013 – 8:49 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - She was a jerk. I am glad you were able to keep your cool. Go Tucker – I want to clap when I get me long awaited yummy food too.

    I got tickled seeing his toes sticking out of his costume in the first picture 😉

    P.S. Back to being good with Kristi sandwiches and such. My fat pants are getting tight and my bras are killing me.November 4, 2013 – 8:56 amReplyCancel

  • Kate - That lady needs to get a life. Seriously. I can see how she might be frustrated if it was a 9pm dinner on a Friday and the kids were running around the restaurant naked. But sweetly clapping for mac and cheese? Sounds like something I would do!November 4, 2013 – 10:55 amReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Oh, my. I admire your restraint.

    So glad that most of the evening was met with kindness. And cool that you were featured on The Today page with Ms Bullock!

    I won’t say what Mean Lady’s mouth looks like in her Portrayal #2. But I will say that the artist has a remarkable sense for realism.November 4, 2013 – 11:26 amReplyCancel

  • catherine gacad - i can’t stand people who don’t mind their own beeswax!November 4, 2013 – 1:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kari - Ok, seriously! I want to beat this lady up! It doesn’t sound like to me he was doing anything… “spectrum-y”….for her to get her pants all in a bunch! And even if he was behaving …spectrum-y…she had no right to judge.

    I am thinking she probably a) does not have any kids b) has ONE …”perfect” kid or c) has douchebag tendencies she apparently has no control over or b) and c)

    Pah.

    I have a similar story…the long version is too long to post here..and I can’t write about it on my blog because the person who made me feel like this lady made you feel probably reads my blog. The short version is that at the time, my husband was working a lot of Sundays, which meant I ‘manned’ church with THREE SMALL children BY MYSELF! One Sunday when I was having a particularly bad morning just generally-speaking. I was weary of doing the “single mom” thing. My three kids were being fairly good, but were getting into their “quiet” bags of things to do, eating their cheerios. But, generally being good & quiet. Then, the lady in front of me kept turning her head around and then turning back around & shaking her head in disgust at my bratty children. She kept doing this. I wanted to run out with all three kids in tow, and bawl. Hindsight, I wished I had. This lady? She was in category b). She had ONE kid and had NO CLUE what it was like to wrangle THREE of them by oneself! Ok… my rant over.

    All that to say…I feel your pain. And kudos to you for taking the high road and not being a jerk back to her! *loud claps all around* Who cares who looks and “tsk’s” at us!!November 4, 2013 – 1:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - OMG – your pic is brushing elbows with Sandra B’s pic – how cool is that! As for ugly dress lady – she’s a douche. My kid wears shorts every day unless it’s snowing. It’s what boys do. She should worry about herself and keep her mouth shut. I’m thankful you aren’t a jerk too, Kristi – but that woman does need a talking-to.November 4, 2013 – 2:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita@ Losing Austin - Umm, what happened there was typical little boy behavior- when they’re being good! Sheesh lady. Just be a jerk next time.

    signed,
    the passive aggressive would have done the same thing friend.

    p.s. the halloween things were just typical little boy too! Mine kept saying he was done and wanted to go home but we still had a ways to walk and older brother wasn’t done, so he was a trooper but not as sweet by the end.November 4, 2013 – 5:37 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - I’m a jerk. I swallowed too much for too many years and now I don’t bother to very often.

    I’ll meet you for lunch sometime and tell off the idiots for you. 😉November 4, 2013 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura - I’ve been known to make my own comments, like when I see a the two sisters (5 & 8) running around the neighborhood after dark, but I can’t recall ever being such a judgmental ass to comment on a kid needing mom to blow on their food. Hell, I still blow on my own, so why not there’s. You’re a better person than me, because I would have said something! Shame on her for being such a bitch. From what I can see here, you’re doing awesome and he looks like pretty happy kid.November 4, 2013 – 8:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Robbie - I cannot imagine the restraint it took to NOT be a jerk to that asshat! Loved the Halloween costumes.November 8, 2013 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

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