Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Life is Way Too Short and What You Do Matters

You know how, when you’re a kid, somebody – maybe a grandmother, a parent, or a beloved aunt – tells you that life is short? You know how, when they say those stupid words, nodding their heads wisely, how you knew, with all of your being, that that person – the one who said that life is short – was certifiably insane?

Whether you heard those words at the age of seven, eleven, or twenty, you knew, you knew, that life was most definitely the opposite of short. You knew that life was truly and unbearably long. The grownups who said otherwise were obviously not doing this life thing of ours correctly.

As a kid, I counted the minutes and the months to the day when I’d finally be allowed to stay home alone, to walk to a friend’s house unsupervised, to drive, and to move out and do whatever I wanted. The time until my next birthday seemed endless, as did the sweet stretch of summer freedom when school let out each year.

I crave the feeling of freedom accompanied by giggling with my brothers when we had two whole hours to play before dinner time. During those minutes, we were able to plan, create, and execute amazingly complex games involving neighbors and other props before being called inside to talk about our days over a family meal. Which were also unbearably long.

Um. Friends? I hate to be the one to break it to you. But those grownups? They were right.

Life, as it turns out, is really fucking short, even though it doesn’t always feel like it.

It’s likely that there’s some scientific formula for life feeling short, or long, depending on how many days of it that one has lived.

Whatever. I’m feeling like life is way too short these days. It feels fleeting and scary and OHMYGOD you guys I have a kindergartner!

Life feels too short now. Maybe, possibly, if I share with you here about some of the moments that I personally want to let go of while the world and my mind spin along, I, and all of us, will be able to remember that there are long moments buried within this too-short life.

This stuff is the stuff that I want to remember.

Life is too short to feel guilty that I gave my son his iPad so that I could finish some work today. It’s also too short to not realize that it was a gorgeous fall day, and that it was time to close my work, close his iPad, and take a walk. To giggle and laugh and celebrate the fact that while life is too short, today was still long during moments spent exploring every stick on the sidewalk, trying to make them break just so, so that they’d snap and fly.

Life is too short to cry while driving home from work, from my supposed stress-free, part-time job (that doesn’t pay me enough) because I was unable to do all of the alls in a five-hour, babysitter-free day.

Life is too short to obsess at how it’s possible for me to love a babysitter who seemed to love my little boy for an entire year, and then just, well, stopped.

It’s too short to wait to follow our dreams, even when they seem dumb and impossible. After all, some of the most ridiculed and the stupidest of dreams have been realized and wildly successful.

Life is too short to not be a good friend to people who want our friendship. Unless, you know, they suck your soul. In which case, cut them off, because (you know it’s coming) life is too short.
Life is too short to try and make friends with bitchy neighbor women who don’t want anything to do with us, who care more about the latest handbag than they do the feelings of parents waiting anxiously at a bus stop with their children.

Life is too short to not reach out, due to fear of rejection. Reach out. Reach out and wear sunscreen. Because life is also too short for avoidable face damage and skin cancer.

Life is too short to not laugh at ourselves. Laugh often, laugh hard, and make it count.

Life is too short to not laugh at ourselves

It’s too short to worry about things that we cannot fix, or change. It’s too short to not fix, or change, the things that we can.

Life is too short to laugh at other people. We all matter. We all count. Laughing at people who are different from us make the whole thing less meaningful, important, and real.

Life is too short to judge. To hold prejudice and opinions founded on nothing and the seemingly everything that doesn’t really matter. It’s too short to think that people with special needs are anything other than people. It’s too short to care about who marries whom, the color of somebody’s skin, socks, or hair, and whether he or she has an accent, or a speech delay. That’s not what mattes.

Happiness matters, but is not guaranteed. Life matters. Love matters. Family, and friends, and laughter and moments that we relive over and over and over again matter.

If there are things in your life that make you bitter? Cut them out. If how your neighbor practices her religion, or her politics, or her marriage matters to you? Stop. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, and your too-short life.

What is it that you want? What is it that you want, today, tomorrow, and for all of your children’s tomorrows? What do you want for the year 2092? Do you want freedom? Equity? Equality? Then friends, life is too short to not say what you want to say, today, while you’re here. While I’m here. While all of us are here, to listen, to act, and to be. To change, and to matter.

Life’s too short for anything else.

 

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.
Your hosts: Me and Stephanie from Mommy, For Real.
Guest host: Kelly from Just Typikal
and Katia from IAMTHEMILK

This week’s sentence was: “Life is too short for…” 


  • Emily - AMEN! (oops at first I typed AMEX – maybe that means life is too short and I should charge it on my Amex even though I can’t afford it?). I didn’t participate this week, but I always love reading these…damn, I should have participated – this was a good sentence!!September 18, 2014 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA Emily! Yes, charge it! 😉 Too funny. And you can still participate ya know. Really – linkie code is open for another day!September 19, 2014 – 6:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Holy Bat-mobile! I think we were in each other’s brain tonight!!!!September 18, 2014 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Yes my friend life is too short. It sucks that Grandma was right but give her her due. Life is too short to worry about people that won’t matter tomorrow. But I will be here so worry about that 🙂September 18, 2014 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - So true Kristi – every single word. I know it in my heart but sometimes my head needs a reminder.September 18, 2014 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - Nuff said. Well done!September 19, 2014 – 12:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - XO I guess it’ll pass – I only had like 45 minutes to do it (weep).September 19, 2014 – 6:20 pmReplyCancel

      • zoe - when I write “nuff said” its cuz i cant find anything to add! You did a great job on this! no weep! {:)September 19, 2014 – 6:23 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - It’s my blog and I can weep if I wanna…September 19, 2014 – 6:24 pmReplyCancel

          • zoe - “You would cry too if it happened to you!!!!” ahem… sorry just had to sing a little there… ya big crybaby!!!September 19, 2014 – 6:27 pm

  • Chris Carter - Ah yes! This is just so so true- all of it!! Such a beautiful spin on the “Life is too short” Kristi!!

    I’ll join you in this message…

    Oh girl, you know I will!! XOXOSeptember 19, 2014 – 1:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Awesome, Chris! And yeah, I know that you will. Life’s too short not to (hehe).September 19, 2014 – 6:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - Hi Kristi: I’m sorry to hear about your babysitter. Sometimes, people just change on you abruptly and unexpectedly. As you say, life is too short. The important thing is that you and your hubby are forming a loving family with Tucker, and life is just long enough for that to truly matter! Big Hugs!September 19, 2014 – 10:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Anna!! Yeah, I was (and still am) pretty bummed out about our sitter. The thing is, I’m not really sure what changed. One day, she was asking for more hours, and the next, not returning my texts. She had some personal stuff going on but I really thought that once that ran its course…anyway, thanks for the hugs and the visit!September 19, 2014 – 6:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - Life is too short to blog. Let’s go outside and play!!

    Seriously, this is a great post, Kristi! You are very wise and I agree with everything you say here. Life IS too short to worry about the trivial shit that ultimately doesn’t matter. Life is for living, so let’s get to it.September 19, 2014 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - WTF! YES YES life IS too short to blog. Come play outside with me?
      And yeah, it’s also too short to NOT blog because well. And thank you sweets. I felt icky about this post actually – I mean I like the message – but I had to do it in like 40 minutes and I wanted it to be like well Better. More Big. More Important.. That stuff. But sometimes, life is also too short for editing and worrying about the perfect words.September 19, 2014 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - The summer lasted FOREVER when were were in school didn’t it! I swear it was three whole month. And the break for before Christmas – OMG – dreadfully took forever. Now everything goes buy in a blur. I wish a lot of time away – seasons I hate – but life is too short for that too. I need to embrace all the seasons some kind of way and appreciate all 365 days of the year – even the one that have football and science projects. Sorry that babysitter didn’t work out. I hope somebody wonderful is just within your reach.September 19, 2014 – 10:42 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya, the summer SO lasted forever. How and why did that stop? I want it to last forever again. I want all of it to last forever (well maybe not those days when my husband works late and I see the clock says 4pm and wonder how I’ll survive the next 4 hours but always do and then MISS THEM when they are gone)… I’m thinking of putting Tucker in a science camp. UGH. But robots!And thank you.September 19, 2014 – 11:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - I DID IT!!! I’M IN!!!! YAY!!!! 🙂September 19, 2014 – 10:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - when you say you did it, you weren’t messing around. Thank you. YOU DID IT> big time. yes. All of it.September 19, 2014 – 11:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I love this prompt!
    And it’s true – life was looooong when I was five and ten and 15 and 20. Maybe even 25, although I was onto the truth by then.
    Smarmy grownups were right!!!
    I’m so sorry about the babysitter. And the part-time job.
    I was working yesterday and it was sunny, dry and 70. So I closed the computer and took Des to a chicken farm, apple orchard. It made him deliciously happy.September 19, 2014 – 11:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - hanks for the words about the sitter – I’m still kinda grieving. And thank you MORE for the words about the apple orchard. Here, we have one about 60 minutes away, and you know what??? We ARE GOING!! Or to something, equally amazing. THANK YOU for the reminder…September 20, 2014 – 12:09 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Yes! To all of this! Yesterday, I had so many ends to this sentence swirling around in my brain and I was trying to focus on just one, but I couldn’t. I love how you put them ALL in here!September 19, 2014 – 12:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yesterday I ha is in not ha. As in, life is so so so so short, my lovely friend. I promise to remind you more often of that if you remind me!September 20, 2014 – 12:34 amReplyCancel

  • Robbie - YES! YES! YES!! I SOOOO needed to read this today!! Thank you 🙂September 19, 2014 – 1:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Gosh you’ve changed (well your blog has) while I’ve been away getting involved in politics. A very sleek new look.

    My favourite paragraph: Life is too short to laugh at other people. We all matter. We all count. Laughing at people who are different from us make the whole thing less meaningful, important, and real.

    Yes. I agree. I’m in the odd position today of feeling so relieved Scotland voted to stay in the UK and yet knowing that many people I know are feeling very sad about that. So I feel compassion for them. Life’s definitely too short to judge.September 19, 2014 – 4:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Only changed a little and thank you for noticing – you are the first. I’m big happy because I was freaking out about the height of the masthead and turns out it’s whatever you make it. thank you life for not giving me those 3 hours back! 😉
      And yeah. Life sucks when we laugh at people. I so hope that the conflict you’re dealing with is better resolved than it seems to be with so many angry people.September 20, 2014 – 12:55 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - Indeed, life is too short to waste it on people who don’t deserve it or with other negative feelings. Life is too short!September 19, 2014 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - The day my third child moved out and my youngest (now a senior) became a legal “18”, I realized how ridiculously short life is. Corny to say but so true—LIVE EVERY MOMENT. NO REGRETS!!!!September 19, 2014 – 5:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes, yes yes. Marcia, I’ve got a now-fading, black blur of a tattoo saying “To Live With No Regrets.” I think now would be a good time to get back to that!!September 20, 2014 – 12:57 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Perfectly said! Something I need to remember when my son is thrashing and screaming about having to go to school – “this too shall pass” and quickly because life is short. Thank you for the reminder my dear. 🙂September 20, 2014 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh that’s hard – the thrashing and screaming about no school. I remember you saying on your blog that the grace period of him liking it had passed – does he still not want to go every day? So hard. But yes, it will pass, and one day, he’ll be grown and you’ll remember these moments with fondness (or something) right? I’m mostly really sad at the too-fast time passing… but trying to remind myself that even though now, it’s occasionally annoying when I have to stay in my son’s room for an hour at bedtime, that not too many blinks away will bring a time when that doesn’t work, for a lot of reasons, and I will so so miss it.September 20, 2014 – 7:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - This post is right on time. I’ve been feeling like this concerning several things in my life that make me sad so like you said, I’ve decided to really just cut them out. It feels great knowing I’ve done that. I have a wonderful child to experience and a husband who loves me to no end. Life is short, but life is good. 🙂September 20, 2014 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Brittnei, first, I’m really bummed to hear that you’re experiencing things right now that make you need to realize that you need to cut them out but I’m also happy for you that you recognize it. I think that part of my challenge every year has been knowing too late that it’s time, and it rarely gets better. Sometimes, walking away is the best for everybody. And yes, my sweet friend. Life is short but oh so very very very good.September 20, 2014 – 7:52 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - ****Happiness matters, but is not guaranteed. Life matters. Love matters. Family, and friends, and laughter and moments that we relive over and over and over again matter.***

    Kick Ass Post. It made me quite emotional.

    I loved every single word.

    Also, I love your face. xxSeptember 20, 2014 – 7:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love every word of yours and YOUR post really made me think tonight. About so much of my past. I think I could have so easily been Kay, and I think that all of us could have been. It’s scary and real and I really admire what you are doing.September 20, 2014 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Tarana - Good advice, Kristi. We need to be reminded of this every single day.September 21, 2014 – 8:01 amReplyCancel

  • Vidya Sury - So happy to be here, Kristi. Came here via Michelle’s blog.

    “Life is too short” is such a terrific prompt and I am thrilled to participate.

    It is amazing what we discover when we contemplate and finish sentences like these.

    Thank you! Looking forward to connecting more!September 21, 2014 – 9:19 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m so happy to have you here, Vidya, and so pleased that you linked up (thank you Michelle!!). It really is a good exercise to think about sentences like this – it’s so easy to just go through the busy motions of each day and forget about what is truly important. Looking forward to getting to know you!September 21, 2014 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - It’s completely insane how fast life is moving these days. Where has this YEAR gone??? I love all of these things. You put so much into this post and really make me think about all the things I want to do and that I really need to just do them. The things that matter for me and for the people that matter. Thank you for that.September 21, 2014 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I am SO with you on where has this year gone, Sandy! I cannot believe it’s almost October. Truly. Thank you so much and here’s to us just doing the things that matter. Sometimes, easier said than done though…September 22, 2014 – 3:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I couldn’t have said it better myself. I feel like I should print this and reread it all the time, because, yes, life is too short for all of that, yet how is it that so many of us (women, maybe?) get stuck and obsess over the same things all the while realizing that life is too short to be doing this? I love being in your head and not only because it reminds me so much of mine but because it’s also very different than mine or anyone’s. It’s unique and it creates these words that always make me think and feel. I love you and have been a little busy over the weekend, but wanted to let you know I loved your comment on my blog and didn’t even understand why you should apologize. Love you BIG. 😀September 21, 2014 – 9:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I feel like I need to print it and re-read it all the time too, Katia. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of the little things, you know?
      Also the apology – I should have just moved the sentences by a week… but now, I’m glad I didn’t because I got to read your amazing words about your dear, dear Babooshka. xoSeptember 23, 2014 – 9:32 amReplyCancel

  • Lana - When I was younger, I remember how LONG it was between Thanksgiving and Christmas – I could barely stand it. I think life sped up as soon as I had my boys – and now it feels like it’s moving at lightning pace! Love, love this post.September 22, 2014 – 6:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lana, I know! It was FOREVER between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, it’s a blink and the whole year’s gone by…September 23, 2014 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - All true. You are so smart, you. And all of this truth about life being too short is exactly why I did what I did and quit my job (like a crazy woman). It’s scary and ballsy but I knew I had to do it for all of us. And you know what? Even though it’s scary as hell and wildly uncertain how much income I’ll bring in for us (and I need to, make no mistake), I am happy and my family is happy and it’s all going to be OK. I know it. Life is just too short to stay somewhere you know isn’t serving anyone.September 22, 2014 – 9:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa, well…not sure I can say that I’m smart but for sure life is short. You quit your job? Wow! Tell me more! That’s awesome and I’m positive that you will find the income that you need – tell me tell me!! And yes, life is definitely too short to be in a job that isn’t serving anybody. Well said, you.September 23, 2014 – 9:36 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I seriously feel ashamed some times of the amount of time I just wasted and whiled away during my teen and college days! Then again, I guess I would never have had the chance otherwise, so was it really ‘wasting’?!!
    As usual, you put our thoughts into wonderful prose, Kristi!! 🙂September 24, 2014 – 6:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw don’t feel ashamed at the time wasted, Roshni! I think that we have to waste time in our youth in order to know what is worth spending our time on. So yes, I don’t think it was wasted at all!October 4, 2014 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - I hear ya! Especially as I contemplate that my oldest will be going to college in another year, next year I’ll have another one driving, and my youngest will be in high school. It’s too short when I think about the fact that what I wouldn’t give to have my father in law back, and just have my family have a few more days with him. Did he know how much we loved him? Does he know how much we miss him? It’s too short when I think about a friend of ours who is battling stage 4 cancer? And he’s just a couple years older than my husband and I. Yes, life is definitely too short.September 24, 2014 – 8:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He knows how much you loved him and miss him. I have to believe that, Michelle. Life is way too short 🙁 and I’m so sorry for your loss.October 4, 2014 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - You just summed it all up so perfectly Kristi, I can’t think of anything to add. I was smiling the whole way through your post while I was reading, agreeing with it all. I definitely think there must be some sort of mathematical formula to explain how life seems to pass by quicker and quicker each year once we become adults! One beautiful thing that the messiness and nastiness of separation has taught me is that life’s too short not to appreciate the wonderful people in our lives who genuine care for us no matter what; our foul-weather friends if you will. I have gained such a profound appreciation for my parents and my close friends over this past year. My son is also about to turn ten and I still can’t get my head around how quickly that time has gone. One moment he was my baby and I was holding him in my arms, the next he’s becoming an adolesent and growing away from me. It makes me realise that life’s too short to argue with him about things that don’t really matter.September 25, 2014 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lizzy my sweet friend. And you’re so right that the foul-weather friends are really the true ones worth spending time with and the others? Nope! Maybe they were there for a reason before but it’s the close ones that get us through the happiness and the grief. xoOctober 4, 2014 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Oh and I forgot to ask … where do I go to to find out the prompt for each week of FTSF?September 25, 2014 – 9:15 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - … as in the prompt for the upcoming week, not the current week 🙂September 25, 2014 – 9:15 amReplyCancel

  • Evil Joy - Love this. My son is a freshman this year and we just realized we have to plan vacations and trips with great purpose over the next three years because then he’ll….be in COLLEGE?!?! WTH?!?! He’s a 14 year old now which seems next to impossible and my baby is in first grade. With 4th and 6th graders in the middle of those two time simply flies by. FLIES BY! I can’t fathom how I went from a 24 year girl to a 38 yr mom of four with children in THREE different school!!!?!?! LOVE LOVE LOVE this!September 30, 2014 – 8:05 amReplyCancel

  • Meredith - I totally agree. I’ve learned some of these lessons the hard way, and some of them have come through maturity and just growing up. MOST of them though have come from watching my kids grow up so dang fast that it makes me scared some days that I’m wishing for it all to go by when I should be savoring more. Great post Kristi!October 2, 2014 – 4:14 pmReplyCancel

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