Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

When I started writing about Tucker and my experiences navigating the Middle World between typical and special needs children, I wasn’t thinking about blogging. Back then, I had grandiose ideas of writing a memoir. It’d be therapeutic for me, and helpful to more parents than I dared imagine. I was sure of it. Tonight, I’m […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Dana - I suck for not participating this week, but I hope you know that our friendship is one of the best things to come out of blogging for me. It’s been wonderful to share the journey with you!June 8, 2018 – 7:10 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well I don’t think you suck, and (ah hem) it’s not too late to participate you know! And I agree – having you as a friend is one of the very best parts of blogging. I hope your next big trip involves some Colorado time (at least a layover).June 8, 2018 – 12:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Sweet to your old banner. Do you remember my gold daises in the purple header? Yeah I’m embarrassed. Our Land was amazing and I’m glad you mentioned it too. Thanks for the tag on one of my most favorite posts ever. I don’t know if it was because of the response but it’s special to me. I’m so glad the people of #2 didn’t stop by and put in their two cents. You’re #10 makes me strong where I am blogging weary. I don’t want to stop but I think it about it a lot. What keeps me going is the connections that I’d be afraid would fall off in time if I didn’t blog at all.June 8, 2018 – 9:28 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to my funny little banner. Funny because at the time I thought it was great! I kind of remember the gold daisies and purple header… I remember a red one too I think (?). You know, I’ve always liked all of your designs. I love that post you wrote. It’s SO good. I agree about the connections. I’d be afraid to lose them too if I stopped. Sometimes, I really do wonder why I bother but again, when I do bother, and feel so connected, I wonder why I don’t post more often.June 8, 2018 – 12:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - So true that blogging is powerful. I completely relate to you saying that I am able to write powerful things on topics that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to articulate in person — that’s probably the main reason I write because I express myself much better on paper/screen. And, I like your #8 because I know I’m currently one of those bloggers who just writes and doesn’t care about traffic. Maybe that will change, but for now I’m ok being where I am…so glad that you’ve kept with it all these years!June 8, 2018 – 2:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s so much easier to write/express on paper than in person. I don’t care about traffic these days either, but wow, did I used to for a few minutes there. I’m glad to have found a better balance. So glad I know you!June 9, 2018 – 12:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - Glad glad glad you started (and kept on) blogging. Glad I found you in this World Between the Wires. Glad to be part of #5 ❤️June 9, 2018 – 4:50 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry - We’re/I’m glad you took the plunge too. Sure, these days and with online and Facebook, we may have come across each other, but I wouldn’t likely know you like I do from your blog. Sure, we can’t enjoy that communication, together with wine, which would be nice I grant you. Yet, the world is so huge and such a small place too and don’t like to think of a world in which you and I never did cross paths.June 12, 2018 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

“Do you feel more ready to send him to preschool now?” she asked. “No,” I said through barely held-in tears, even though I did feel better about it. It’s just that I thought I’d have more time before my three-year-old was in an all-day preschool program. I thought he’d be older. That we’d start with […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - How sweet of both teachers or maybe the same teacher – to have a one on one and to call you on the first day to ask if you were okay. I love that. I’m banking that Tucker is going to be just fine with everything even though you might not be. That’s the way it is with us moms. We worry to the point of exploding but it usually always okay. Love the pre-preschool “graduation” photo – so cute.May 31, 2018 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tucker’s teachers have been amazing. It’s one of the reasons I don’t want to leave here – I’ve heard that this school district is one of the best for “kids like him.” But I have to have faith that people (especially teachers) are good and kind (even though we did have one mean-ish one and I had a total mean one growing up). Truth to us worrying to the point of exploding and then being okay. Also after reading your post, I need to get my Detox Island Green smoothie tomorrow. The place that sells them isn’t in Colorado (unless that’s my new adventure – a franchise owner maybe??).May 31, 2018 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - If I ever see that place somewhere I’m going to have to try that smoothie. Now that is really sad that you’re moving away from something you love that much. I think if I moved somewhere that there wasn’t a Rita’s, that would be sad. Cheers to getting some wonderful teachers. In my experience the ones who were mean were approaching retirement.May 31, 2018 – 9:13 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Rita’s the Italian ice place? There’s one in DC. I’ll have to go before we move because I don’t think I’ve been. I’ll be sad about the smoothies and got one this morning. They’re big so a lot of times, I only drink 2/3 of it and save the rest. Maybe it’ll make me learn to make them myself! And if you get it – don’t forget it’s the Detox Island Green, not the Island Green. And yah, the mean teachers are so often approaching retirement!June 1, 2018 – 9:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - This is beautifully wistful, and I especially loved the astronaut photo at the end. You’ve all had such positive experiences where you are, and where you haven’t, you’ve turned things around. Huge tenacity and investment has resulted in the glorious young man grinning in the middle of his cousins in that last pic. He is a wonder, as are you all 😘June 1, 2018 – 3:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You are so so kind and thank you for these words. I love that photo too. It’s amazing what we have here that I’ll miss and also haven’t taken enough advantage of, although I suppose I have in the important ways. Like with you seeing the monuments.June 1, 2018 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - To be fair it’s probably quite usual to miss what’s on your doorstep. I’m sure I don’t take half as much advantage of my city as I could. Our monuments day was amazing. I’ll never forget it 😍June 2, 2018 – 1:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - True, that it’s quite fair. We went into DC again today. And I appreciate it in a way I maybe never have before, knowing we’re leaving. And yes, the monuments day was amaaaaazing and I’ll never forget it either. <3June 3, 2018 – 12:33 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I always feel nostalgic at the end of the school year too. Right now we are living in a neighborhood where we have the “old kids” and my husband and I look out the window at the parents playing with their kids in the cul-de-sac and we wistfully say, “ahh, we remember when we used to do that.” Of course, part of us feels lucky we don’t have that exhausting life of young kids anymore, but the other part of us, now as parents of emotional and headstrong teenagers, misses it…my Little Dude is about to graduate from 8th grade and he’s actually asked me if he has to go — he’d rather stay home and sleep in!! (Maybe he’s on to something…:))))June 3, 2018 – 1:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The young kids life is exhausting but also so dang cute. I miss the utter cuteness of two and three years old. My dude is so big now, and it makes me kind of sad. But happy too, you know? Little Dude would rather stay home and sleep than go to graduation? Wow. And also, yes, he just may be onto something there!June 5, 2018 – 7:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Arggg, I just wrote a comment, but I don’t think it went through! Here’s a shortened version of what I wrote: Just wanted to say that I too feel nostalgic at the end of school years too…this year, my Little Dude is graduating 8th grade and he asked if he has to go to the ceremony! He’d rather stay home and sleep in! (hmm, maybe he’s on to something…:))))June 3, 2018 – 1:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - We’re all different as the end of each school year approaches. Wiser maybe. At least more used to long days huddled in years that go by in a blink.

    This is true and I love it. Nicely said.

    I didn’t write one for this time because, the end of another school year makes me sad too, but for my own past and for my niece and nephews. Still, it felt like a parenting thing and I’m not one. I’ve definitely written about school memories before, but I was glad to just read yours.June 9, 2018 – 6:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Balance Bike - There are many things so much information on it.

    King regards,
    Balle DenckerMarch 12, 2020 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

I wasn’t planning on taking the easy way out. I must’ve looked at 2,003 photos until I came across one that made me pause. It’s the one photo that makes me wonder what this blog stands for today. Before that one, I’d stumbled on a photo of Tucker as a toddler, twirling his hair. It […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Lizzi - Ohhhhh that is an absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS pic of him 😍😍😍 I kind of feel like this blog is about finding your way and making it the best way…at least, that’s a message I often get in your posts 💓💓May 25, 2018 – 5:10 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ok that’s something I can get behind for sure. That it’s about finding my way. Finding Ninee. All that. This is good.May 26, 2018 – 10:19 amReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - Good 😘😘😘May 26, 2018 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It’s been so wonderful to watch Tucker grow over the years – through photos, and through your words. Because I have the honor of knowing you in person, I can say that this blog stands for you – as a mother, as a woman, as a compassionate human being. Anyone can relate to your posts; I was not your target audience in the beginning but we still connected.May 25, 2018 – 7:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That’s so sweet! I love that you feel like the posts are relatable. And I love that we know each other in person.May 26, 2018 – 10:25 amReplyCancel

  • Darshana Suresh - That’s a really cute photo. We all start out with a strong idea in our minds for our blogs and it’s natural for the course to change with time. Nevertheless, we always will find something or the other to keep us going 🙂May 25, 2018 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you. And you’re right – I guess everybody’s blogs change over time as do our lives. Thanks for the reminder.May 26, 2018 – 10:28 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Aw! I love that picture of Tucker and have loved “watching” him grow through your blog. But, I completely understand what you mean about wondering what the purpose is today. I have had a similar struggle as my kids have gotten older and it is harder to share personal things about them. (Today, I shared about a picture that I wouldn’t even put on my blog!) Parenting changes. People change. And, apparently, blogging changes. I havent’ figured out a new purpose for my blog yet – not sure I ever will.May 25, 2018 – 9:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - True. Parenting changes. People change. I guess I shouldn’t worry about the point of this blog – it’s here when I want to write and I suppose that’s what counts.May 26, 2018 – 10:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I’m not going to cheat and go look at the photo first. I’ll comment “over there”. Anyway, it’s good that your blog stood for something, even though that’s not what you write much about now. I bet people stumble upon Our Land and read posts after posts everyday. Going to look at the picture now to see if I’m right about which one I think it is.May 25, 2018 – 9:13 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think it’s good that it used to stand for something too. It’s just weird I guess that I had such a purpose once upon a time that I don’t feel any longer.May 26, 2018 – 10:30 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Comments were closed over there so what I said was “YEP! I was right. I love that photo and his hair. Wow that this was the inspiration to start the Our Land series. Your words from 2013 so hopeful for our real land here in the U.S. but now so sad that it’s 2018 and our land is so much worse than it was five years ago 🙁 The bright spot is the leaps and bounds Tucker has personally made in five years – a youtuber for starters. ;-)”May 25, 2018 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I didn’t realize comments over there were closed. I’m not sure I did that on purpose. Huh. Awesome that you were right about the photo! I love it. I know what you mean about things being so much worse. Sigh. But yes, Tucker has made SO MUCH progress. It’s mind-blowing really. He’s been bugging me to upload a video we took in March. His YouTube stardom is definitely hindered by a busy mom who can’t bother with posting his latest antics. Shoot – I really should post some new ones.May 26, 2018 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Debi - I have a hair twirler too! She has incredible curls, and when she was a little bitty one, she used to take the big curl in the front of her forehead and ask me to put it in a ponytail holder so it was always right there for her. She wrapped it around her middle finger and held it over her nose when her thumb was in her mouth. We even named it “the boinger.” That little girl is now 16. She still twirls her hair — though she no longer sucks her thumb — and I find it to be a sweet reminder of the little girl she was.

    Also, you know I understand that “in between” land, what I call the “layover in Holland.” W will always have more empathy and generosity because of our experiences there. It made us better people, I think, and I also think that it made our children kinder and more empathetic. What does Tucker say about his history? Does he know? Does he have thoughts about it? It would be interesting to hear!May 25, 2018 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That’s so cute that she used to ask you to put the big curl in a ponytail holder. So sweet! LOL to “the boinger.” Awwww to her still doing it too. And yeah, I know you get that in between land and I agree that we’ll have more empathy and generosity because of being there. Regarding his history, Tucker doesn’t say much about it. He asked me a year or two ago why we used to think he might have autism and I just said because when you were three and four, you called water “ah.” As he gets older, I’ll have to ask him more about what he thinks – that’s a good idea for a blog post actually! Thanks 🙂May 26, 2018 – 10:35 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Awww…I love both those photos in that post. And yes, I have thought a lot about my blog and what the heck to do with it…mine has evolved — from general musings about raising three boys, to chronicling the dark time (but with humor!) about Little Dude’s cancer treatment and now to I’m not sure what! Considering I rarely post, I think it is currently just there for me for when I feel like writing. Which I guess isn’t a bad thing, but I do sometimes think if I changed the focus again, I might be inspired to write more. Just not sure what that focus should be!!May 25, 2018 – 7:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love the photos too. I know your blog has evolved a lot. I guess all of us simply share what’s going on in life today and because kids grow and we grow, that changes. I should probably not worry about it and just use it for when I feel like writing. Having a focus makes it more motivating for sure though….May 26, 2018 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

  • Pat B - I clicked to read the Land of Empathy and Wonder post. What a wonderful world that would be. I can see how the photo of Tucker at the end would be your favorite. Very cute happy looking little boy.

    Thank you and others for sharing experiences with living with children who are on the autism spectrum. I think the sharing is a way to building understanding and acceptance. Most people either have a family member, or a neighbor child, or a classmate of one’s one child who is on the spectrum. You do a lot of good through writing this blog.May 26, 2018 – 12:22 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Pat. The Land of Empathy and Wonder would be a great world. Thanks so much for your kind words – I agree that awareness on all the differences people have raises acceptance. I appreciate the reminder.May 26, 2018 – 10:38 amReplyCancel

  • Allison Smith - Great post, great picture, great question. That’s what I’ve been asking mysey, for a year, about my blog😨. Help!May 29, 2018 – 6:35 amReplyCancel

I was 12 when my mom took me to a Merle Norman makeup lesson. Models were getting their photos taken. That’s how I learned how to put on subtle (HAH! but it was the 80’s!) blue mascara, and also that I wasn’t as skinny as those girls. “I want to lose five pounds,” I said […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Dana - I didn’t ask! But I’m linking up after I write this comment, whether Kenya has yet or not.

    Okay, a few things. First, four-year-old you has the EXACT eyes as you now – I could identify who that little girl was just from that little bit of your face. Second, Merle Norman – I haven’t thought about that place in years! I’m jealous you got a makeup lesson there. Third, as for Tucker…puberty is a total crap shoot – he could drop all the “huskiness” once those hormones kick in. But even if he doesn’t, getting fresh air and eating healthy will serve him well forever. I worry sometimes about my son, who can eat anything he wants and he’s super slim. He’s not going to have that metabolism forever; he’s going to have to learn to eat a vegetable every so often.May 17, 2018 – 9:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to “I didn’t ask!” I seriously cracked up at that. I love that you could ID me from my four-year-old self. That’s somehow really sweet and reassuring, so thank you. Merle Norman. I know right? I forgot about it until I was writing last night. Writing sometimes is like that memory therapy or something. And yeah, I don’t know what’ll happen with Tucker but I’m committed to never shaming him and trying my best to remind him that his body is important for health but that it’s his other self that matters.May 18, 2018 – 9:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I just read Dana’s comment and I too worry about Christopher being able to eat anything he wants too and I want him to enjoy himself but at the same time want him to have better habits so he doesn’t end up with HBP like me or high cholesterol like his dad. I don’t let him add salt and I say, “that’s enough” with butter if were are out somewhere with bread and butter but I don’t do much other than that. It’s hard. I think you can’t win because I was brought up super healthy and I think that deprived me and I became a junkie as soon as I could buy my own junk. Long story to say I have no advice on that. But anyway Merle Norman is a throwback! I got my ears pierced there (At least four times). I should have put I have a total of 7 holes in my ears for the things people don’t know about me – anyway I went off topic. I don’t ever think I’ll be satisfied with my weight as long as I have clothes in the house that I used to fit. I want to be back in them. I have so many bottoms it’s ridiculous. I carry my weight in below the waist. But it’s nice when I can wear them again. I’m doing good right now but back in January I had to buy two pair of fat jeans to wear over and over because I gave the other ones away just last year. This time I won’t get rid of them. I can’t tell you when is the last time I had a nacho 🙁 or real pizza and by real I mean one I didn’t make. :’-(May 17, 2018 – 10:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hear you about Christopher and being glad he can eat what he wants but also worrying about later. I had a friend who grew up super healthy and she went crazy too when on her own. Like crazy then more crazy. Another story. You have 7 holes in your ears? Still? At one point, I had five (three on the left, two on the right) but two (the top two) have mostly closed up. I have my belly button pierced though even though I tried to let it close up forever ago. It’s been pierced for like 26 years and it’s all “nope, I’m permanent now.” UGh to the weight. I wish I gained from the waist down actually. My legs stay the same these days (wasn’t always the case and I blame age) so now it’s in my belly, boobs, and that. I hate it.May 18, 2018 – 9:29 pmReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - Seven forever holes. I wear 4 earrings in one and 3 in the other. One of those things my dad said I’d regret and I do but I’ll never tell him. I had one at the top of my ear but I did let that one close. It always hurt.May 19, 2018 – 11:16 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I’m impressed by seven forever holes and also LOL to never telling your dad he was right 🙂 🙂 🙂May 19, 2018 – 8:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Unfortunately, I have no suggestions for body image. I think we all struggle with this. Skinny people even say they feel fat and I look at them and wonder what planet they are living on. Your posts always feel my head with great images….I so remember Merle Normans!!!

    BTW, the surprise reflections are so disappointing! I too don’t want my children to feel body image pressures, but I’m not sure how to stop this. I keep telling myself I am 60 and still putting myself out there. As long as my body keeps working, I’m going to be thankful for that.

    I hope your move is going well. (OR…are you already living in Colorado?)May 18, 2018 – 1:19 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I felt fat at my wedding and I was SO SKINNY but not as skinny as I had been, so I guess there’s that perspective. Gawd, to be that thin now. But hey. What do we do? and Merle Norman! Funny
      I know what you mean about the surprise refections. So hard. I don’t know how to stop it either. I try to just talk about non-emotional things like “well since you played today, I bet your muscles want protein! Why don’t you think about how much good chicken will do if I make it super-tasty?” Tucker’s pretty easy – he doesn’t sneak food but it’s hard to deny him it too… because again, I don’t know what to do. Here’s to being thankful for working bodies.
      And no, we’re not in Colorado yet. I meant to post on FB but we’re in the crazy rental property showing times (16 in the last three days when we need to hide the toaster and toothbrushes and get out of the house with beds made). We leave on June 20 or 21.May 18, 2018 – 9:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - What a sweet picture of you and your mom!

    I think back to those times when I could eat anything I wanted and not gain weight too. Those day are long gone for me.

    Those nachos look so good!May 18, 2018 – 3:18 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Such a truism: our bodies change without our permission…there’s something about the 50 year-old mark (at least for me) where all of a sudden I was like, whoa, what is happening here? I did not approve a saggy face and a saggy body to match! But, I’m doing my best to embrace and accept it, but not gonna lie — it’s hard! As for Tucker, I can relate bc Big Dude was also 110% height and 18% weight when he was born. He mostly continued with that long, lean look until — now! Of course he’s still tall, but that freshman 10 (or 15?) really got him this year. At first I was remarking on it, because he was our buff, strong athlete a year ago, but then I realized I should back off and let him decide when he’s ready to start exercising again. He’s been home from college for a week now and he’s been talking about going to the gym — baby steps! I know he’ll get there when he’s ready…May 18, 2018 – 8:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that you chose that line because it’s my favorite line in this post and I almost made a pin of it but decided to use it later. UGH to the saggy face and saggy body. I hate (!!!!) it. But again, what to do? The med spa stuff is temporary and makes people look weird. Big Dude will get back. Hopefully, so will Tucker. It’s hard to not say something though. Mostly, I offer to throw the ball with him or whatever but this week, it’s been raining every day and we’re showing the house and and. Always an excuse right?May 18, 2018 – 9:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi - I have had the same struggles with body image as most western women, but when I had two daughters, I decided that it ended with me. I have modeled good self-talk and self-love whenever they’re around, even when I wasn’t feeling it. It’s also important to say things aloud like “Wow, I love how I look in this sweater!” or “I feel so put-together and pretty today!” I learned that it wasn’t enough not to talk negatively – I had to add the positive voice to my girls’ inner monologue, too. I’m not going to lie; it’s really hard. My hope is if my mom never said nice things about herself, and I can say them even when I don’t mean them, maybe my girls will be the ones to say AND mean them. That’s the dream, anyway!May 18, 2018 – 10:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You rock for recognizing that your daughters need to not just NOT hear negative talk but to hear positive talk. I’m going to try to say that I love how I look in whatever outfit too. Such a great idea and here’s to the next generation actually meaning it. It’s so huge.May 18, 2018 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - The ‘knowing when you’re not’ hungry is tough, amd tougher to back up with ‘so stop eating the yummy things already!’

    The pic of you then is gorgeous. Pics of now-you are gorgeous. You’re gorgeous. Btw.May 18, 2018 – 4:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You’re gorgeous. And totally completely sweet. <3 <3 <3 UGH FOOD though. I appreciate you.May 18, 2018 – 9:45 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - Ugh indeed. I’m afraid this was never a week I was going to join in with 😉 I think making steps towards what I want for my body is helping me to hate it less as it is now. So this time around that’s a big plus.
        I’m glad of you. That’s almost a nonsensical sentence but it makes sense in my head 😘May 19, 2018 – 1:50 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - So I get the never for the body week, but I sorta thought you’d want to write about food and the food industry – being vegan and how you got there. I don’t know why I thought that! And there’s still time if you got sparked! And I’m glad of you. Makes total sense in my head.May 19, 2018 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - Yaknow, I didn’t even begin to THINK of the vegan thing! My gift is not evangelism 🤣🤣May 20, 2018 – 12:08 pm

  • Lisa@TheGoldenSpoons - The weight thing is so hard with kids. Maybe especially since I have girls?? Never had a son, so don’t know if they feel pressure to look a certain way like girls do. Anyway, it is super hard – especially when I have “issues” myself and I want to be honest, but also not put any extra pressure on them or set an example of disliking the way I look. Ugh!!May 21, 2018 – 9:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s super hard I think no matter what, although I imagine it’s harder with girls, given my own history compared to my husband’s. But Tucker so feels it too… and I hate that. I need to talk nicer to myself in front of him for sure.May 22, 2018 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne Spence - There’s so much in here! Very interesting post, and I love the photo of you aged 4!

    Almost everyone has a complicated relationship with food and body. I work part-time in a clothes shop, and so many women have hang-ups about something – even those of us who are stick thin. It used to be my arms, which I felt were old-person flabby and I was confused to realise that a dress I thought I couldn’t wear last year looks fine this year. Then I also realised that I’ve been doing yoga/pilates every morning for a year and a half, so that probably made a difference! I didn’t start the exercises for that reason but because of persistent pain and they help so much I keep doing them. So I guess I’m agreeing with you that it’s good to (mostly) be okay with how we look. And to give ourselves slack if we worry about our appearance – because everyone does, yet it’s almost become shameful to admit it.

    I can relate to teenage you – I also weighed myself five times a day and tried to diet. Today I don’t even own scales and I don’t put on weight. When I went to college age 19, I lived in catered accommodation and ate the food provided, and lost weight without trying. In a rare moment of clarity I decided everyone has a natural body shape and worried far less about mine every since – which I think is largely why I don’t put on weight. I honestly think that the more we worry food, the more we want to eat the wrong stuff and so it’s a vicious circle.

    That’s not to say I haven’t had food issues. Mainly mine have been worrying about health because I have felt tired so often and had digestion issues. I’ve tried various things and sometimes I’ve felt if I just worried less it would all be okay! However, finally, after a couple of months on the low FODMAP diet, I feel much better. I miss a lot of the things I used to love eating – but I might yet get to eat them again, and I prefer not to have constant bloating etc.

    BTW, I did start a post for this link-up, but then there was a family situation that took up a lot of time. It’s resolved now, but my post didn’t get finished! I probably will finish it anyway because it might be useful for some people.May 22, 2018 – 4:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hope you’ll finish your post (or have, I’ll have to go check) because it does sound so helpful. I agree that the less we worry about weight and food the more natural eaters we are although the healthiest times in my life have been gotten from panic, like in a new relationship or whatever, which isn’t healthy. Tucker seems to not worry about body but omg does he love his carbs and I worry about that so much because there are so many foods he refuses to eat. I love your comment. And I thank you for it.May 22, 2018 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

      • Yvonne Spence - Kristi, here’s a couple of stories that might ease your worries. When my daughters were young, I helped out in classes and once got into a conversation with a teacher about foods our children eat/ate. As a child, her daughter had eaten very little variety – mainly cornflakes if I remember correctly. Her daughter was by then 25 and ate a very healthy diet. I also remember a friend coming to visit and the only way her 15-year-old son would eat vegetables was pureed into a pasta sauce. By mid-20s he was a personal trainer and eating plenty of veg!
        My own daughters, at 20 and 18, are somewhere in between, eating veg and also eating all sorts of carbs I consider unhealthy – and sometimes I’d like them not to. But then I remember myself at that age and feel glad at least they eat veg and don’t live on chocolate and fries and drink too much! 🙂
        So yeah, we mothers will worry, and that’s okay. It’s also okay not to! 🙂May 24, 2018 – 6:55 amReplyCancel

One of the things I love about blogging and the online community is that writers share deep parts of themselves. Don’t get me wrong – I share a lot with my close friends IRL as well. It’s that the blogging community knows things about one another more quickly. We write about life and our pasts in a […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - I would have never guessed number 10 because you did do so well. I had to do something at church one time and my kneecaps were jumping. I didn’t know they could do that. It’s been a long long time since I’ve done anything else like it. I can’t imagine it being works. I’m also surprised at the “many” scuba dives. I know you wrote about it but wow 40ish is a lot! I think my kneecaps would twitch down there too. I seem to remember you peeing in the graveyard. I’ll have to click over to refresh my memory. 🤣 We are going to have to work in a prompt for meeting your bio mom because I want to read it. Oh and back to Parkinson’s, “of course”. I’d be worried about having a for real heart attack because I take blood pressure medication.May 10, 2018 – 10:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ve thought about writing a post about meeting my bio mom and half bio sister but I’m not sure how private they feel about it and I’m friends with them (and two aunts and several cousins!) on Facebook and sometimes, a few of them read this. I don’t know if I could really write about all of the emotions and be totally honest about the ups and downs and frustrations knowing they might see it. But I could write about some… hm. LOL to your kneecaps jumping while scuba diving. Honestly, it’s so relaxing and calm. All you hear is your own breathing and it’s so beautiful.
      I completely understand the worry of a for real heart attack! Scary!May 11, 2018 – 7:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - You kicked. Down. A door…!!!May 11, 2018 – 5:08 amReplyCancel

  • Vickie - I’ve kicked in a door (or two) in my younger days 😳😬May 11, 2018 – 4:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Great list! So funny about you and mascara! I have an episode about a door and an old boyfriend too — I wasn’t strong enough to kick it down, but boy did I try! And, I can sooo relate about public speaking — I hate it and I’m a wreck when I do it. I recently had to give a 2-minute toast to my cousin for his 50th — 2 measly minutes!! — and I was so nervous — kind of irrational! Anyway, I like this listicle and will try to participate but have been crazy busy trying to move Big Dude back home for the summer — lots of laundry and lots of stuff that I need to find room for – ugh.May 11, 2018 – 5:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know – dumb right? The things we worry about. Mascara! Gah. Hmmm funny that you also tried to kick down a door (I wish I had failed…later I paid to have it fixed). Speaking in public is scary! And I can’t really figure out why. Good luck getting all of Big Dude’s stuff settled and I hope you will write a post and link up!May 11, 2018 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - Thanks for the prompt this week.It caused me to think back a few years, well actually a lot of years. 🙂
    Over the years I’ve made a lot of things from scratch, but sometimes I look for recipes that do not call for lots of ingredients.
    Oh, my. Your invention mentioned in #6! If your doctor had heard about that, he would have given you all sorts of warnings.
    I remember reading your #7 and #8 stories. I was so impressed with your skills in #8.
    Your anger in #9 must have come blasting out through every muscle in your body. What strength can be exhibited when one feels betrayed.
    I’ve known people who have joined Toastmasters in order to get past their fear of speaking, and it helped them.May 11, 2018 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ll have to check out Toastmasters. I’ve heard good things about them. And oh my – number 6. I can’t believe I shared that – so embarrassing but then again, everything about being 13 and 14 years old feels embarrassing I suppose. Luckily, I got brave pretty quickly!
      I’m quite embarrassed about number 9 as well but you’re so right. Anger and betrayal blast out. Later, I paid for his door to be fixed but I’ll never not cringe at the memory. Oh and recipes without a lot of ingredients is a good idea. I don’t mind (and enjoy) making complicated meals – it’s just baking that I seem to not enjoy although I have no idea why!May 12, 2018 – 8:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I love this post! I may even quick try to write one:). I’m sorry about your Bi0-dad, that really sucks. I get shaky, too. I diagnosed myself with MS, but the neurologist said I was cray-cray. Oy! What is wrong with us? And I’m impressed by your door kicking skills!May 14, 2018 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh I’d love to read yours!!! LOL to the parkinsons and self-diagnosis, and MS and the cray-cray. I don’t get it. Also boom I’ll always have my door-kicking-in skills! 😀May 22, 2018 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Cheese on every chip. Haha. Good advice. I have rarely, if ever, baked anything from scratch either. We have that in common.

    Kicked down a door. I’m surprised, I’ll admit, and impressed at your mighty strength in such a situation. I could never round up the strength to do something like that.

    I’m glad you came up with this prompt and feel free here to speak about all these things that make you “you”.May 20, 2018 – 9:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Baking feels overrated to me although for the friends I have that love it, it’s therapy, so I guess one more proof that we’re each different. I like that I share the never baked with you! Thanks for your sweet words Kerry!May 22, 2018 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

I was pregnant when we moved into this neighborhood. I brought my baby into it, and have built a life here. 14 years ago, I stood in a generic apartment in Reston, Virginia, unpacking my belongings, shocked at what the packers had wrapped in paper. A dusty stray pencil from under my bed? Wrapped well. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Debi - I can picture your block – those awesome walkable neighborhoods where someone is always outside. I bet it will be really hard to move – but now you know already how to make those first friends, and friendships are like violets! They spread underground and suddenly, a year later, your life will be full of them!May 3, 2018 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s SUCH a good block although I didn’t know it once upon a time but yeah, it’s an amazing block(s) now. I like the idea of friendships like violets growing underground. Thank you for that.May 4, 2018 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww to sorta sobbing. I can’t imagine not loving where I lived. Home is solace. So much in the world is not good and wonderful when we enter it. Our neighborhoods should be. I hope that IF you want to come back that you find your home just as it was with all the comfort of being in a wonderful neighborhood. One thing my neighborhood never had for me was other mommy’s my age or kids of Christopher’s age. So I missed out on that.May 4, 2018 – 7:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t imagine not loving where I live either. Maybe this whole new place is just that I can’t imagine it, ya know? It’s a really pretty house… if we get it… maybe it’s the unknown. And this ‘hood? People know Tucker. I’m sorry you didn’t have that with Christopher.May 4, 2018 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I totally get how it can take a while to find your mom tribe and end up loving your neighborhood. Same thing happened to me when we first moved to suburbia and then I loved our neighborhood…and you mentioned Halloween — our neighborhood was such a great trick-or-treating place that people would drive from Other neighborhoods just so they could trick or treat in ours! As you may recall, we moved from that neighborhood two years ago — just about 2 miles away, but still, new neighborhood with a totally different feel. We love the new neighborhood too, but for different reasons. Now that our kids are older, we don’t place as much of a premium on who the neighbors are and who their kids are…although we DO have very nice neighbors! It may take a while, but I bet you will love your new neighborhood too!May 4, 2018 – 10:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OIMG it took me so long to find my tribe. Like, Tucker must have been seven. But I got it – they all were talking during preschool when we were doing preschool autism class. I love that you went back to your old neighborhood to do Halloween. I have neighbors here who have moved and done the same – come back here because it’s just that good.
      Thanks, Emily. Come visit in colorado???May 4, 2018 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - My wish for you is that your new neighborhood is just as awesome. And I know what you mean about East Coast people, but I always say hello when I walk by someone in the neighborhood, even when I have my earbuds in. Actually, I probably yell “Hello!” since I can’t hear myself, but whatever.May 4, 2018 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Your wishes echo mine. Thank you. Come visit??? It’s crazy about the east coat people right? I mean how does a person not even say “hello” back? LOL to the too loud earbuds. Robert and I are in a semi-fight about that now, as he likes to fall asleep to stories and can’t hear me.May 4, 2018 – 10:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Liszi. Or someone riew tired. - Awwwh I’m glad you love your neighborhood and the friends you’ve made there. I’m glad you did make them. I hope they know you well enough that you stopped being shy and started being bolshy (in the best way – you have a huge presence). I hope your new neighbors are wonderful and come to befriend and love you as much as your now-ones do.

    Here, we’re WAY east of your ‘people are colder in the east’ lol. I met some people in my road the other day who’ve been here for over 30 years. We’ve been here nine. We were all very polite. Might or might not bump into them again…May 4, 2018 – 6:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I do love it. Whether they know me well enough to know I stopped being shy? Maybe only one, which is one, and good right? LOL to bolshy because no clue what that is. But I like the presence thing. I like you, and at least ya’ll talk over there right? Even politely?But that seems sad, too…May 4, 2018 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

      • Lizzi - It IS sad. I think one of the things I found really wonderful and refreshing about America was the level of socialness amongst strangers who happen to be in the same location.

        I dunno whether your neighbours know you stopped being shy, but YOU know it, and that matters more. I am glad it happened and you found a niche there.May 5, 2018 – 1:17 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Agree but you still didn’t tell me what bolshy is. Is that like ballsy?May 6, 2018 – 8:30 pmReplyCancel

          • Lizzi - LOL no! It means deliberately combative. You do it with humour though, not in a nasty way. Nothing like a good provoking now and then 😜May 7, 2018 – 4:33 am

  • Pat B - I so remember that feeling of moving from a place I really loved and where I had so many friends who had been part of some important changes in my life. It took me a while to feel like my knew residence was my home, but with time it happened, and I made new friends.May 5, 2018 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Pat. I know I’ll make new friends too (or I tell myself I know that I will) but still, it’s hard to leave. We spent the weekend on a Cub Scout camping trip, and between the bonfire and this morning’s climbing and zip lining activities and the whoops of kids and adults (my husband and I included), it’s hard to leave this place. Where Tucker, from 30 feet in the air can yell “Hey Elliot! Did you go on the purple one yet?” and Elliot yells back “no but you have to try the green.” Maybe it’s the familiarity I hesitate to leave. Thanks for the reminder though.May 6, 2018 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - The irony is kind of amazing, isn’t it? But I am confident that you will be more than fine in Colorada. You know how important it is to have friends and neighbors and you will be home. It’s going to be awesome!!!!! I 100% certain of it!May 7, 2018 – 10:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really is. I think (hope?) we’ll be fine there too although I’m super nervous about the specific neighborhood, because I think their politics are very different from mine although who knows right/? Maybe I will find friends. Come visit. We have room there – the houses are so different from here. Please, come visit.May 8, 2018 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Also thank you.May 8, 2018 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Hillary Savoie - This was a great piece Kristi. I think it is so interesting how hard it can be to join a community—and then how quickly you can’t imagine life without it again. I know the love will be tough…but, like I wrote about this week, you’ll carry your neighborhood with you. Xoxo (Sorry it took me a bit to comment!)May 7, 2018 – 10:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree about the joining of a community and finding acceptance there.. and then, it all changes. Thanks, Hillary. And yeah I know I’ll carry my ‘hood with me but also I wish I could transport the kids who “get” Tucker, you know?May 8, 2018 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Erika Ann - Moving to a new neighborhood is never easy I guess especially for those of us who are not the type of people who start conversations. But walking around really does help. When I first moved in our new house, I would usually go around and walk around with my dog. A few weeks later I found myself with the local dog owner community and I was making new friends! Great story.May 14, 2018 – 11:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s so true that walking around helps although here in Northern Virginia (suburb of DC) it’s amazing how many people you can say “hi” to that say NOTHING back. Like, nothing. Weird. Thanks for visiting and commenting!May 22, 2018 – 8:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - It’s the trouble imagining part that is the scary part. It takes me a while to get comfortable in a place too. I grew up around this area, visiting my grandmother in the house my father grew up in and going to school, high school, around here. The park next to my house is the park we went to play in so often when I was growing up. Now I live here, have done for over ten years, and I chose it mostly for that comfort reason. It’s the comfort with people, reaching out to my neighbours, that I have more trouble with. It’s only after my new neighbour reached out to me that I found some comfort in someone next to me, but I don’t come on it all naturally. I hope you will find all you have imagined, in a good way, the best way there is.May 20, 2018 – 4:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The trouble imagining part is the worst. I agree. I don’t come by the reaching out naturally either. It’s so hard to reach out. I guess it’s easy for some people but it’s not easy for me. At all. Especially when I know that the other moms who have kids Tucker’s age are so much younger than I am. I know that shouldn’t matter, but I feel insecure about it – more than insecure. Sometimes, totally paralyzed by it, if that makes sense. I’m glad your neighbor reached out – I remember reading about that on your blog and what a gift it is to have a neighbor friend.May 22, 2018 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

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