Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

I close my eyes, open my mouth, and let the almost-too-hot water shower my head, come together, fall, and rinse the night down the drain. I mine my thoughts, trying to remember my dream about removable magnetic teeth lined up perfectly once replaced. Straight, negative-to-positive on somebody’s gums. “That’s incredible!” I said. Wishing teeth were […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Lydia - Nice. Reading this Makes me feel grateful.October 13, 2016 – 9:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Lux - An easy or hard like is relative. What is easy for others might be difficult for some. I think it’s a matter of perspective. 🙂October 14, 2016 – 4:51 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Great thoughts, Kristi. Although life can be hard at times, I recognize too that even our hardest moments are probably not as hard as some other’s hard moments—especially if one lives in a third world country. We not only have white privilege (in my opinion), we have U.S. privilege too. We are lucky in so many ways….even when life is super hard. I feel more grateful than discouraged most of the time. (I also recognize that others living in the U.S. have it extremely difficult compared to me and I feel sad about that. I wish no one had to suffer. Ever.

    Happy Friday, Kristi.Thanks for making me think this morning. 🙂October 14, 2016 – 10:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I wish nobody had to suffer ever either. Sigh. And yeah, you’re right. We definitely have white privilege in addition to US privilege. I wish that weren’t the case. I mean, I wish everybody had access to fairness and equality and hot water and justice. xoxoOctober 14, 2016 – 7:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Corinne Rodrigues - Oh yes! My Dad is 91 and I sometimes wonder what he must make of how much simpler life is at so many levels.October 14, 2016 – 11:22 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’d be interesting to know what your dad thinks, Corinne. In some ways, I’d guess that life is less simple now than it used to be. Kids have so much to compare themselves to now you know?October 14, 2016 – 8:00 pmReplyCancel

      • Corinne Rodrigues - True. I guess people had lesser ‘needs’ then.October 14, 2016 – 10:21 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I think in some ways they were lesser, but in some ways, harder. Like if your kid was missing at 7pm, you had to resort to a phone chain or searching the neighborhood right? Not that when a kid is REALLY missing now that we have better but we have ways to stay in touch…October 19, 2016 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I’ve been thinking about the people in Haiti too — I feel like what they are enduring has been brushed aside by the media because of all the crazy election news. They definitely have it hard, really hard. And speaking of calendar apps, I use my electronic calendar AND my paper calendar, because I am paranoid. I think I actually make it harder for myself though by keeping two calendars..I still mess up appointments all the time!October 14, 2016 – 12:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to messing up appointments all the time with two calendars! And you know, I hadn’t thought about it but I bet you’re right about the people in Haiti not getting the news coverage they would if there weren’t so much crazy election coverage. Gah. I’ll be glad when this election is over (as long as I get my way of course).October 14, 2016 – 8:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - We are so blessed. I don’t know if it’s national news but parts of NC are STILL flooding and people are STILL having to evacuate and many will STILL have no power for weeks because they can’t restore power until the floods recede. Unlike Haiti, no one has died that I know of but it’s all so awful for everyone. There’s snakes and alligator problems. Ick! I can’t even imagine.

    It’s been a long time since I’ve used a paper calendar. LOVE my app too and that my husband and I can share calendars. It used to be a pain when he used a blackberry.

    Love that picture of Tucker.October 14, 2016 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - We are so blessed. I can’t believe how much the news isn’t covering some of it here (or maybe I’m not watching right). Blackberries UGH. gross
      And yeah, I love that pic of Tucker too 🙂October 15, 2016 – 9:59 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - **It’s about knowing that our own stories are important and worth telling**

    worth shading in yellow marker, dear.

    xxx love from MN.October 16, 2016 – 2:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YOUR story is amazing. I’m so glad you’re telling it and helping so many people find help. <3October 16, 2016 – 7:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison - We are so lucky and life is easier (I guess😱?!?!) Thanks years past and compared to so many other on this planet – and yet we complain about how hard it is. So silly, and I’m so guilty. Would you believe I still keep a paper calendar? Drive s Rich crazy.October 17, 2016 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to your paper calendar driving Rich crazy but I get it. It’s actually easier to look at with it all laid out in front of you at once, unlike the iPhone app. True. I kept both for a while but was slacking and missed stuff on one but not the other… gah. And yeah I guess elastic and pants and apps make life easier but they also complicate life, you know? Like if this were the dark ages, we’d all have been in bed shortly after 7pm because it’s DARK and maybe we’re supposed to be sleeping. I dunno.October 19, 2016 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Nodding along to so many of the things you have in here. Absolutely.
    Can I tell you what makes my life easier? Truly? My husband. In so many ways. (I should probably write him a post.) And my Zilla. In some ways their contribution is grand and eloquent, and in others it’s just little everyday shit. But yeah, it’s them. Always them.October 18, 2016 – 1:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Lisa! I should have said my husband! He really does make my life easier (he does almost all the laundry and that’s HUGE). I can’t believe I didn’t even think of them. GAH>October 19, 2016 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Mine does most of the laundry too! So is it bad that I DID think of him and didn’t write that post? LOL.October 20, 2016 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - My pain specialist came and sat next to me once. We just sat in silence for a good 15 minutes before he said in his thick Indian accent,” It’s booooolshit you know. Dis. All dis.” and he pointed at my IV and the monitors I was hooked up to.
    I think he knew I needed to cry and punch the fuck out of things.
    So I cried.
    Then we talked about paint colours.
    I think it’s ok to feel bad about ourselves and our life. We are living the hell. Maybe that person who you are feeling bad for is looking at you and thinking “Jesus fuck, that poor person. They have it super bad”
    We need to give ourselves permission to feel. Then move.
    Yes, I am thankful for what I have and yes I am well aware that I have it far better than others – but sometimes man, I need to just say “damn it. this is boooooooolshit.”October 26, 2016 – 1:56 pmReplyCancel

Sometimes, I think about legacies and wonder whether it’s too late for me to leave one that means anything. I’m in my (late-ish) 40’s. I’ve had good jobs and did good things in them. I’ve bought homeless people food, donated clothing, time, and money. But those things are mostly about being human. They don’t exactly […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Emily - I like how you say maybe our legacies are left in small ways…I believe you are right about that. I had the same initial thoughts as you when I saw this prompt — I’m 50 and what have I done?? I’m not Steve Jobs either, but your post has reassured me that that is okay.October 6, 2016 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ve been thinking about dying a lot recently, which I know is crazy and not healthy, and I want to do more and say more about this (but as always I wrote and drew from 8:33 to 9:40 GAH)… but really, we’re not all Steve Jobs. And I’m not sure each of us should be, you know? It’s the little stuff. It’s selling lemonade for childhood cancer research. That’s legacy. <3October 6, 2016 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi - Legacy definitely doesn’t have to be big! Your examples from your own family are so much more meaningful. I love them!October 6, 2016 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - I promise I wrote mine before I read yours! I agree with your idea of legacy, and I hope my family will also feel love and remember the funny times.October 7, 2016 – 12:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL I believe you and loved yours. Here’s to both of our families feeling love and remembering the funny times (and to Clark not seeing this and deciding all of us post the same ideas expressed as we do so anyway LOL).October 8, 2016 – 12:28 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Love! Love! Love! I totally agree. Not many of us will be abel to leave a Steve Jobs kind of legacy, but we can all make small impacts. I definitely think my daughters are my legacy – and their children – and their children’s children. If I raise them to be mostly good people who are kind, productive citizens, then that’s enough for me. 🙂October 7, 2016 – 4:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Is there anything better than seeing a comment that says Love! Love! Love! I think not so THANK YOU and here’s to small impacts. I know your daughters will carry you on as will their children. You’re doing a good job and yeah, that’s enough. In all of our homes. Thanks, Lisa!October 8, 2016 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Well I think Our Land is a legacy and should be a book but just with the stories you alone have told, there’s that! You’ve given so much!October 10, 2016 – 10:31 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Maybe I should make Our Land a book… I always think why buy a book when you can read the stories online for free but you’ve got a point – all in one place, together, in print. xoxoxoOctober 12, 2016 – 12:10 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - To clarify, the Our Land is all here, in one place, you know? Christopher Chronicles are from all over, in case that sounded weird or unappreciative or something <3October 12, 2016 – 12:11 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I think you already have more of a legacy to leave than you know. How you love your son, how you connect people to one another, how you fight for motherhood and all that is good and tragic about it…yeah. You’re awesome. So much of who you are is poured out in your words here and elsewhere – always beautiful, always wise.October 10, 2016 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to comment. I was waiting, because I’d really planned to link up with a birthday post that I thought would fit for legacy. But time, alas, got away. We need a new definition for legacy – cause with the estate taxes, none of us will have any legacies to leave behind anymore:(. Oy! This blog is part of your legacy momma. For Tucker and for all the people wohm you’ve helped with your words, stories, and your heart. xoxo.October 12, 2016 – 3:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - If, at my funeral, one person tells a story about how I made her laugh, or if my son remembers feeling loved, that’s legacy enough for me. clickable
    Love this Kristi.
    Reason I missed this so spot on prompt last weekend was that I was away and visiting family for a few days, after the death of my aunt a few weeks back. The whole legacy topic had me thinking, would have been the perfect thing to write about, but instead I am reading your thoughts now.
    I had a lot of time to think about what legacy means as I spent time in the places my aunt once inhabited. She was a half aunt, my father’s half sister, from his mother’s first marriage, in Europe during World War II. I only met my aunt twenty years ago, thanks to my parents making the effort to introduce me to her. A lot of families squabble and fight and I feel sad, even with my own, not wishing that to be the legacy left. On the whole though there is love and dedication and I felt that the entire time I was retracing her steps. I spent time with her daughter, my cousin, who now runs her own successful catering company and I see that a legacy is left in her and the toughness she got from her mother. Her mother and her mother’s mother, who was my oma. It all trickles down, the legacy left in a family. I don’t know. I just wish I knew better how to put these concepts into words.
    I am thinking on this week’s prompt and your comments about Steve Jobs makes me think. I owe him a lot, as the things he came up with and left as his legacy are the very same things that make my life, as a blind woman, a whole hell of a lot easier.
    I hope I can make beautiful things that, even if I never have kids of my own, can live on as my legacy. I write and just this year tried my hand at lyrics. I hope to play beautiful things on my violin one of these days.
    🙂
    I just finished the second episode of a podcast about family, humour, and creativity with my brother and I hope those three things are all legacy could ever hope to be or will be for me personally.October 14, 2016 – 2:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so so much Kerry!!! I can’t believe I didn’t see this comment until now. I’m sorry about that. You already are making beautiful things (and I love that Steve Jobs is a part of the technology that helps you to do so) with your blog and learning the violin and all of that. That you’re thinking about your family’s history is huge as well… I wish I’d thought more about mine when I was your age.
      xoxoxoOctober 14, 2016 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - PS I still want to write about what we talked about on IM. I just haven’t had time to think it through yet 🙂October 14, 2016 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Corinne Rodrigues - From the short time I’ve know you online, Kristi, I can say you will leave a fantastic legacy with your powerful and inspiring words.October 14, 2016 – 11:12 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Corinne, that is so unbelievably sweet thank you thank you THANK YOU xoxoxoOctober 14, 2016 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

Crispy leaves crunching on the way to the bus stop, cool mornings, and stiff notebooks next to sharpened pencils ready to write beside new classroom friends. These are the obvious things to love about Fall. A farewell to lazy mornings with 10am breakfasts, evenings at the pool while it’s still hot and bright at 8pm, and forgetting […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • baog3 - “I may have cried”…. about this post. Beautiful 🙂September 29, 2016 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Momma, best post EVER! Love the imagery. Love you. You broke my heart wth is he description of you and your brother listening to your parents. I think your skin is still shinny. You’re beautiful and you glow in your wedding pics. I too thought I was fat on my wedding day, and looking back, I was a waif. Happy Anniversary!😘.September 30, 2016 – 7:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie! You’re so kind. Thank you! And awwww to my skin still being shiny! <3 Isn't it funny how we later wish we were as thin as when we thought we were fat? Or maybe that's just me. Thanks!!September 30, 2016 – 6:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Maybe we’re always becoming who we are. Each September. clickable
    I love this line Kristi. There is something quite poetic about it.
    I love this season so much that I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to put that love into words nearly as beautifully as you’ve done here.September 30, 2016 – 8:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Kerry and I love this season too. I hope you write about it and i know it’ll be fabulous if you decide to!!! 🙂October 1, 2016 – 3:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @Menopausalmom - So sweet—-happy anniversary. Embrace the moment!September 30, 2016 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - What is it with fall and all the emotions?? I feel them, too – looking forward and back all at the same time.Love the shiny skin comment! 🙂 Happy Anniversary!October 1, 2016 – 6:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ugh I dunno what it is! But I soooo feel them. And gah to the shiny skin. Thanks for the anniversary wishes!October 1, 2016 – 11:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Oh, this one hit me in the gut, Kristi. I can’t think of anything poetic or deep to say, but I loved reading this. I felt like I was on your shoulder as you look back over each vignette you described. The paddle, the wedding, the shiny face…all of it.

    And this line is fabulous: “…shame perched proudly on my lunch tray for weeks in the cafeteria.” Carol had a big mouth.October 2, 2016 – 9:15 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks huge, Dana. Carol had a huge mouth. She sucks forever. Or not, I dunno. She’s one I’m not friends with on FB or anywhere these days.October 4, 2016 – 12:01 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Kristi,

    you know what?

    One of my all time fave. writers said this: It’s not so much about the story, the words, the theme, or the way one constructs one’s paragraphs, NO, it’s about how they make you “FEEL.”

    You always make me FEEL.

    Thank you for that. xxOctober 2, 2016 – 11:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I. Love. You. Thank you. You make me feel too, girl. So much. Thank you for always being so kind and supportive, and know I appreciate it more than I know how to even say.October 4, 2016 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, it sounds as if your feelings about fall are similar to mine. I get you with mourning summer. We don’t have a pool to laze by, but yes to missing those light evenings!
    Though the part about your mother is sad, it is beautifully written. Perfect.

    And happy anniversary. And it’s so great that Tucker is doing so well – even if he wants a wife with shinier skin.October 2, 2016 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne, I think you’re right – we do have similar feelings about fall and I’m SO glad you wrote for this week’s FTSF. I love that you think the part about my mother is beautifully written, I really appreciate that and thank you for the happy anniversary wishes! lol to him wanting a wife with shinier skin. I can’t blame him 😉October 4, 2016 – 12:04 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Well now we need to here Robert say hello or speak french or something on a vlog. LOL! Love the wedding photo – happy belated anniversary.

    I guarantee you that you’re going to keep looking at your skin. I remember one morning at Christopher’s but stop he asked my why I had so many bumps on my face. And he kept saying until something like, “I hope I don’t get bumps like that when I grow up.” Then the I was worried about bumps on my face. Because we are supposed to be flawless in their eyes and he saw bumps. LOL!

    I tried to write about Fall but it was nothing as sweet at this. I couldn’t grasp my love for the season and certainly no nostalgia because it was hot last week with the humidity nearly reaching 100%.

    Anyway – awwww to puking disease – and the reason for it.

    I love the line,”Maybe we’re always becoming who we are. Each September.”

    BTW and hated M*A*S*H that seemed worse than my parents watching the news.October 3, 2016 – 1:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Robert wrote ONE post here (oh jeez, I should find it if I say that… hang on… It was a mother’s day post I think.. Ok here: https://www.findingninee.com/2014-05-from-a-dad-who-thinks-his-wife-gave-his-special-needs-son-the-world/

      But YES he so should (he’ll never even read these comments BOO

      UGH to Christopher talking about bumps on your face. Boo. Also? We’ve texted about 80’s shows since then but when I wrote this, I couldn’t remember the show we were watching. Pick something from like 1984??? Could have been Different Strokes, Fantasy Island, Dukes of Hazard, Magnum PI, Cosby, um, something. I just picked MASH because it was on at night, and I liked it (it’s okay to disagree on that right).October 6, 2016 – 9:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Marina @ Parental Journey - Puking disease 😀 😀 I can’t believe how time flies.. My daughter is 3 years old – and it seems like she was a baby yesterday..October 4, 2016 – 7:05 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - UGH the time flying this is just cray-cray (as she’ll soon say and we don’t know what they’re talking about).October 6, 2016 – 9:56 pmReplyCancel

When he was zero, I bought a crib and the paint colors we’d need to make a monkey climbing a tree on his wall. Blue with white clouds, the monkey, and another painting of Chief turned an unused room into a home complete for my unborn son.   Artwork, a piggy bank from my childhood, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - I agree that home can get/be complicated once we have a family of our own. I’ve had to rethink where I want my ashes to be placed when my time here on earth is done. I hope that is a ways off.

    I have so many places that might feel like home to me and I know they are different for me than for my husband or my kids. I do have a tendency to feel that home is any place I’m currently living or visiting. But like you, some of the places consider home were in the past, possibly even temporary homes. Oh dear, now I’m making it complicated. 🙂September 22, 2016 – 10:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I guess once we’re dead, it doesn’t matter where our ashes are but it feels like it matters, you know? I mean, will Tucker want a grave he can visit or will he care about that?September 23, 2016 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Don - It’s tacky, but I love you anyway. Hope you’re well.September 22, 2016 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Your home is beautiful and not at all what you expected. But still home.September 23, 2016 – 7:24 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Text me a picture of the wall and I’ll tell you if it’s tacky. I’ve have a bad habit of telling the truth when someone asks me stuff like that. So if you wanna know and you promise to not hate my opinion….

    I honestly have no idea where I’d want to be buried. I wrote a post once upon ago that home is wherever my parents are. So I suppose I’d want to be buried with them but I don’t want to think about that either.

    So glad Tucker survived bed rest and you’re here to tell the story of how he made your home and DC home home.

    Love the monkey! There’s so many things I wanted to do but we had mauve carpet at the time and a baby snoopy theme had a touch of pink but was still for a boy so that’s what we went with. Had to look at that carpet for three years and it’s in all his crawling pics. Yuck!September 23, 2016 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ll text you (THANK YOU!) (also you were in spam – not sure why but Lizzi was as well). I promise I do want your honest opinion. 🙂 Yuck to mauve carpet! Glad you don’t have to look at it any longer!September 27, 2016 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - Home is where our heart is, I guess. It’s where our minds wander to when we daydream. It’s the places we know we feel safe in, and the people we know we’re safe with. It’s immensely tricky, especially when you’re divided between (at least) two places.

    This is beautiful, though, and I hope you enjoy many more years of knowing that your home is where your beautiful boy is, and that it’s together.September 23, 2016 – 5:54 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - beautiful, as always, my sweet.

    My boys are 2000 miles away…
    but when I place my hand to my heart, they are near me.

    Always. Forever. For Eternity.

    This is my home.

    xxxSeptember 24, 2016 – 2:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that your boys are in your heart. I know Kay is, too, and that she lives on through your amazing advocacy and help for so many people who need to know. Always. So much love to you.September 25, 2016 – 11:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Lovely post Kristi.
    I think perhaps for many people who move away from the home of their childhood. It becomes no longer a place, but as you describe here, it is a feeling, a sense, something we carry with us.

    Though it is interesting that for you Colorado will always be home. I don’t feel like that about where I grew up, in that I know I will never live there again. Yet, something of it lingers in me. It’s also interesting how our children perceive home differently to us. Perhaps as he gets older, Tucker will also feel a “home” connection with Colorado. My children feel that connection with the islands in a way they don’t with where my husband’s parents lived. His parents moved around a lot, but were mostly in the same area while my children knew them, but there’s no sense of family history there. So I guess that history matters too, as well as the feeling!September 24, 2016 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Yvonne,
      Thank you! And I think it’s really interesting how some of us feel home and some of us carry it with us. I think I do both but also don’t really feel a connection to my grandparents’ homes… like at all although I know my parents do. My husband feels the most connected to his granny’s home but it’s also the one in which he grew up – with her. So he feels more connection there than to his dad’s home now. But probably most to here, you know?September 25, 2016 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison - Home is complicated, isn’t it? I wrote about it a couple years ago for a class I took…damn I should find it and link up. I know Colorado is your home Home, it’s so hard when we move and start over and create a new home for our kids. I mention wanting to move, that Georgia doesn’t feel like home, and the kids freak!September 25, 2016 – 12:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tucker freaks when we talk about moving, too, and yet all the time says he wishes he had a big back yard. I go look at the big back yards and they have ugly kitchens and floors… and I wonder what’s important. HOME is so elusive.September 25, 2016 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I’ve actually thought about what home means lately (but did I do this prompt, no…) since we moved from the home we lived in 14 years and now we are renting about 3 miles away in another house, that we wish could become our next home, but likely won’t, because the owner probably doesn’t want to sell it. So, we are living in transition, not knowing where we will be living in 2 years. Part of this is unsettling, but part of it is exhilarating (or adventurous as my husband would say). My kids were kind of upset about the move, but now I think they are ok. Change is always hard I guess…But, I’m with you – home is where my family lays their heads. 🙂September 25, 2016 – 6:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Em, I didn’t realize that when you’d moved that it was to a rental although now that I type that, I wonder whether I did and just forgot. Here’s to adventurous more than unsettling although I think I’d feel the latter too. I’m glad now it’s okay – saw your FB block party post and that seemed beyond awesome. Here’s to remembering home is where our family lies their heads!!!September 25, 2016 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - My essay about home as place or feeling or people is in the works for Full Grown People, but now that I see the time left in this prompt continues another day or so, I may just write something and link up here after all.
    I love what you say about music. To me, music is home. When I wake up one day and my parents are gone, my siblings have their own lives with their own families, I don’t know what home will be to me, if I never get married or have children. Only time will tell I suppose.
    I would choose Metallica over country music any day.
    🙂
    Which is Tucker leaning more towards?September 25, 2016 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OOOH I cannot wait to read your essay for Full Grown People. I’ve never written for them but they’re wonderful and I know your essay will be fabulous. I like how music is home for you. How it grounds you and brings you to the next place. You’re young… so much to be discovered, which is also another thought about where “home” will take you and I look forward to reading about it.
      And yeah, Metallica wins every day. LARS!!! For the win. I am so in love with Metallica. Have been for years.
      Tucker’s into the DAB right now??? I don’t really know what it is except a move where you put your elbow in front of your face and the other arm out to more dance music. BUT he’s into it because of his beloved YouTubers and he bopped his head to Queen and Metallica from age zero so hope is there 🙂September 25, 2016 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww man my comment isn’t here. I was waiting for you to respond to my proposal. Dang. Well a duplicating a comment isn’t the same as the first time around. Anyway I said you could text me a picture and ask if it was tacky me because I have a bad “no tact” way of telling the truth. So I said that and um, let me scroll up and see what else…

    Oh I said the money was so cute and that I had baby snoopy for Christopher because we had mauve carpet at the time and baby snoopy was masculine but had a touch of pink so it was the only thing that matched.

    Oh and I didn’t know where I want to be buried, and I suppose I’d want to be with my parents but I didn’t want to think about that right now.

    Now I need to go see if my comments took in other places. I think i was on my iPad.September 26, 2016 – 6:36 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - None of my Friday on the iPad comments showed up. Tamara did let me know mine went to spam on hers so maybe that’s what happened. No more commenting from the iPad. I have no idea where else I visited from here but I was on a once in a blue moon commenting roll.September 26, 2016 – 6:48 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I think I’ve read this about four times now because it’s just so lovely – all these wonderful snippets of life and love and what home looks like at different stages. Love it.September 27, 2016 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG you’re so kind. THANK YOU. I struggled with all of this – what to say, what to not say, THANK YOU.September 27, 2016 – 10:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Lux - Aw, home. Sweet, sweet home. Makes me miss home.September 27, 2016 – 1:31 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - It’s not tacky, remember you own words “appreciate what makes YOU feel”.

    As I was reading I was highlighting different sentences and paragraphs to copy-paste as my favourite ones. It kept happening all the way to the end until I landed on this one: “home is where my son lies his head down. It’s where I lie mine down, too, and thank all of the stars that for now, that’s the same place.” I wish I could write like this. I love you and the way you see, feel and process.September 28, 2016 – 9:06 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Katia,
      So true about listening to my own words. Thank you for your kind words and girl, you’re an amazing writer and I love you! <3September 29, 2016 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

I walk through a forgotten scent or the notes from a long-ago song, and memories surface the way hunks of ice in a glass swim closer to the top as they melt. Mining memories is a tricky business – use a pickaxe and they’ll become puffs of smoke leaving behind only happiness or grief. Waiting […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Emily - Beautiful writing Kristi…I too remember the prayers and wishes of “please talk” and “please say mommy.” But, I had forgotten those prayers until you reminded me of them. Seems so long ago — now I’m going on college visits with him (and in fact going to one in your neck of the woods I think? Goucher in suburb of Baltimore…if I was going to be there for more than 6 hours, you KNOW I’d track you down!!)September 15, 2016 – 9:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh bummer that you’re only going to be there for six hours. I’d LOVE to see you! Gah. College. Exciting and scary I’m sure for all of you.September 16, 2016 – 6:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Hillary - Oh, Kristi, I love the balance in this post. The laundry, the births, the losses…and the forgetting. But this moment of recalling after the spreadsheet and the finger: “Please let him speak. Please say ‘Mommy’ one day.” broke me. Just so honest and lovely and real. Love it.September 15, 2016 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks, Hillary! I really appreciate your comment and you co-hosting this week!September 16, 2016 – 6:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Beautiful, simply beautifulSeptember 16, 2016 – 7:59 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - That defeated body language will get you every time won’t it?

    I think we all have a lot of please and prayers before each milestone. And the one day the one thing we worried over for seemingly a long time just disapears and then one day after that we forget how it use to be.

    I want to read more about the first segment of this post. You left me in suspenese.September 16, 2016 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The defeated body language guts me! It’s so true that we forget how it used to be. I’ll have to tell you more about the first segment – sorry for the suspense!September 16, 2016 – 6:30 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - “I gave the spreadsheet my middle finger, closed my laptop, and said “show me.”
    funny how some our best right decisions often are hidden among the ‘important and necessary responsibilities as adults’… when I look back on such times, I can sometimes experience suspense and celebration as I watch the memory unfold, very much like in most cliffhanger movies. ‘look clark thinks this other thing matters more than taking the time for what really matters, he thinks there’ll alway be time …what will he decide?!’ (lol if I do this looking back thing correctly, the bonus is a huge sense of relief watching my past self take the right path).
    cool potation, yoSeptember 16, 2016 – 7:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Our VERY best decisions begin with flipping off spreadsheets, I think… and another glimpse into the original Clark brain with the looking back and looking forward to what’s important. A gift. You ROCK.September 17, 2016 – 12:14 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I was so struck by this – “Waiting for memories to swim to the surface on their own is the only way” that I had to quickly write it here and then scroll back up to be captivated by the whole paragraph of nostalgia dust.
    TOO GOOD!September 16, 2016 – 10:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh Lake Tahoe sounds sexy! And oh, the endless hours I’ve spent listening to Minecraft stories. Shoot me now, and yes, the irony of my torture is not lost on me🤔xoxo.September 17, 2016 – 8:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to “shoot me now” about the Minecraft stories! Do they play Terraria too?September 17, 2016 – 6:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in such a long time.
    Memories are a tricky thing but the key is to cling to the ones that make all your senses sing when you recall them. Love you.September 17, 2016 – 8:45 amReplyCancel

  • Josie Two Shoes - Beautifully written, as always! Your words reach my heart. I love those memories that appear like magic, both sweet and bittersweet, and I appreciate that time softens the blow of the harsh ones, we remember but it just doesn’t matter as much as it once did. My babies are 37 and 41 now, and I still savor those sweet moments of their tiny heads on the pillow next to me, those wonderful conversations that were too easily taken for granted. You chose correctly – love now, live now, the work will always be there, children won’t, childhood won’t. <3September 17, 2016 – 11:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you!! I love how memories appear like magic, too. Here’s to loving and living now! <3September 17, 2016 – 6:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Lydia - Wow sister, you got writimg chops!September 17, 2016 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - One of my greatest fears is that I will not remember this or that about my child, about her babyhood, about her milestones or her experiences or whatever. I have spent so much time worrying about what I might forget that I didn’t see how much I do remember. And I don’t remember it all the time. Sometimes memories do indeed swim to the surface because some little bubble of air pushed it there that day. I have to just go with the belief that we remember what we are meant to and that we will remember enough. Great post from you, as always. <3September 19, 2016 – 11:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The fear of forgetting the memories is so powerful and so real and almost impossible to escape. And yet, the ones most memorable float back to us somehow… Here’s to us remembering. To keeping track, to being there.September 20, 2016 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Our memories are sprinkled with nostalgia dust – I think it’s our minds’ way of blurring the harsh edges. Except when the edges have to stay harsh to remind us to not repeat mistakes.

    Sometimes my kids will recall a memory, and I have no recollection of it. That makes me sad, but I also know I remember many things that they don’t. Between us all, we have one complete memory!September 19, 2016 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think the nostalgia dust is a gift and a curse in some ways… but yes, to blurring the harsh edges. I like that. Here’s to making the memories complete between all of us GODSMACKED and all heheheheheehhehheheheSeptember 21, 2016 – 11:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @Menopausalmom - Such beautiful writing, Kristi. And the cool thing is that you will ALWAYS have these precious memories because you are writing them down just like this. I wish I’d done that more when my own children were small.September 20, 2016 – 4:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Another beautiful piece. I’m truly in awe how you can remember so much. I’m also in awe that you listen to your heart and stop working. I know I did not do that. I know I made work more important many days. I applaud that you know when it is important to make Tucker come first.

    Your relationship with Tucker always make me smile. It makes my heart happy. Hugs to you.September 22, 2016 – 9:49 pmReplyCancel

“I hope he’s a twin,” I said. My husband laughed and looked at me like I was crazy. I know that much of my little boy’s infancy would’ve been harder, my nights more sleepless and my boobs more sore, but sometimes, I wish my son were a twin. As a mama of “advanced maternal age,” with […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • JT Walters - I like the book but Dude ru crazy? Popping two or more out of the hatch? It is much more than my poor girl parts could take. Plus I don’t know about Tucker but Alex would have never shared the breastmilk. He’d still be breastfed if he could get away with it. A girl walks by with big mammary glands and he has the happy forlorn flashbacks.

    Incredible experience but when I found out I was pregnant by the ex-fiancé’ my friend was there and she grabbed the wand stuck up me and she said, “Bad news is your pregnant but the sliver lining is it is not twins!!”September 13, 2016 – 8:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Crazy? Why yes, yes I am. But really, wouldn’t it be fun sometimes if Alex were a twin??September 14, 2016 – 9:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya - I can’t imagine double breastfeeding. One boob hurt like HELL. Yes I sad a bad word because it was that bad!

    When I know of someone in the multiple baby market, I’ll definitely recommend this one and/or buy it if I love them. 😉September 14, 2016 – 3:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OOOOH KENYA!!!! It was bad for me for a few days but somehow, I avoided the total h-e-double-hockey-sticks (hahah for you only) of it.September 14, 2016 – 9:02 pmReplyCancel

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