Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

“Drop a pebble in the water, splash, and it is gone; But there’s half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on. Spreading, spreading from the center to the sea, and there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.” Tired. So tired. I shook my head as the allergy pill I’d […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Lydia - Nice….very very nice😍July 21, 2016 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey you. Is this the first time you’ve been Lydia here? If so, me likey. Also hi. Love you.July 22, 2016 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I love that thought: what we do in the next five minutes matter. If only every human being remembered that! Your posts so often make me a little more hopeful than I was before. I think you should be president, Kristi :).July 21, 2016 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Dana. Thank you. I think back to conversations I’ve had in the past, even with Tucker… and about how what I say matters so much. His teacher had lunch with him at the end of the year because he though she didn’t like him… we’re talking a lot about how you can love somebody but not agree with something they did and wowza, deep, and I feel the ripples of my own choices and what people said or didn’t say… Here’s to the next five minutes (I’m going to bed I think).
      Also? No thanks to president. I’d be way better than Trump though (but gross to the whole republican platform)July 22, 2016 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - The best ripple effect I feel is why my son gets well and he smiles. He then comes over and gives me a really hard kiss to let me know he really loves me for taking care of him. To me being a good parent to my son according to his standards in his none verbal world is the most important thing I feel.

    Many days because he has no services still after sixteen years in floor, I feel linke we do not matter our exist. We have no stone or ripple effect….no one cares.

    As for Trump, you and all my other Democratic friends and I have many, know I do not watch tv. As a Republican I am tired of being beaten up over him when the democratic candidate has even more bad horrific baggage as my child still does not have services. I can tell everyone, your vote is yours and mine and mine is my vote.

    I wouldn’t tell anyone how to vote but I guess my right to my vote like services for my son is entitled to are not respected, either. It is hurtful.July 21, 2016 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Your son deserves the whole world, as do all of our sons and daughters. I love that Alex feels better and thanks you for it – you are a great mama. And um when it comes to the vote, maybe you SHOULD watch TV because for real, Trump hates our kids and us and he’s a hate-monger.July 22, 2016 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - Well I love our kids. I think if I heard someone in public life speak hatefully about our children, it would shattered my heart in a thousand pieces. I did youtube and look for video and found the incident with 1 reporter but I have not seen anything else.

        Both the Democrats and Republicans have done it to my son. Living in the world of rare disorders is to not exist in society. Party affiliation does not matter. Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL) and Marco Rubio (R-FL) did not show up to a senate hearing about one of my son’s (Only one of the two known) rare disorders. They are senators. They are over paid millionaires so how hard can it be to show up to a senate hearing on a rare disorder that affects children in your state.

        I did read Hillary Clinton’s and Donald Trump’s pages and see nothing on either of their pages to address helping children with medical complexities. Hillary Clinton’s special needs campaign is a recycle of our current programs. Early intervention…we have that. Education…we have that. Healthcare…does not exist for children with rare disorders. Training…we have that with vocational rehabilitation so there is absolutely nothing she is offering that is better than what we currently have and in my son’s case it is nothing.

        She does not hate but does not care either. Neglect is a form of hate.

        But I truly love you and every single parent regardless of political affiliation that is a parent of a special needs child because if we don’t love our kids and each other then we are truly lost.

        In absence of anything better and given the tremendous national security leaks I can not vote for her in good faith. I don’t think she cares for anyone but herself. I am done with the Bush/Clinton Oligarchy. Affordable care Act has seriously hurt my son’s healthcare but I will not fight with another parent of a child with special needs.

        I love you, Tucker, my son, my self and every other family that knows the pain and challenges we endure in a very hard cruel world to our children from BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE!!!July 22, 2016 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie Jo Severson - “We choose to see or not-so-much to see.” I love that. All of this, Kristi so poignant. You are the queen of free writes and abandoning yourself to what you are truly feeling right now in the moment about the week’s topic, gross orange sneeze stuff and all. That truly is a gift to those of us reading; the authenticity that comes through in your writing is one-of-a-kind. I’m always amazed when I stop by here.July 21, 2016 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Gah Julie. I still can’t believe that I was too whatevered to not contribute (or try to) your anthology. I even met Christy at BlogU… anyway thank you. The gross orange sneeze thing needed to be said. My poor kid thought that he was bad for not wanting that crap on him… There’s something to be said about teaching how we can’t help it and also something about the divinity in the honesty of saying “OMG I do not want his snot with food on my body!!!”
      XOXOXOJuly 22, 2016 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh my friend, ripples upon ripples. Even if they are orange snot, or your boys sweet smile. Love this one!July 22, 2016 – 7:59 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Oh Kristi. Connect and disconnect, all at the same time.
    Your story about the orange stuff immediately made me think of the hair I keep hearing about on the head of your country’s possible next leader. I didn’t want my thoughts to immediately go there, to make that connection, as there are so many awful things I could then say. The trouble is, I am trying so hard to resist some of those more ugly thoughts because I am so unsettled, so afraid for not just the US, but that’s where the focus lies. I do believe in the ripple effect and if I allow the uglier thoughts I’m having to flow too freely, they could cancel out anything positive I may have otherwise let loose. I don’t want that, but how to stop the uglier ripple effects and focus on the good ones? Hmm.July 22, 2016 – 2:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kerry,
      The hair. It’s as bad as you’ve heard it is. For real. He’d better NOT be our next leader… I’m afraid too. Big. And I’m also a believer that we do not let our ugliest thoughts run free because they will and the ones instead of love and grace and forgiveness? They matter.
      It’s hard to pray for and hold those who are cruel to us to the light, but I’m trying. I hope it matters. I have to believe that it does.July 22, 2016 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - This reminded me a lot of when I went on that writing retreat in Montana last year (you should definitely do that one of these days btw!) and at the end of the retreat, she talks about how after we are gone, she goes to the lake at the ranch and sends ripples outward on it for all of us and she had something profound to say about it, but if I try to say it here, it will come out wrong. Anyway, it was very cool. Now, you’ll have to go to that retreat in Montana to see for yourself. 🙂July 23, 2016 – 11:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I want to go on that retreat. Plus, I could see my mom before it so win! What a cool idea that she sent ripples for each of you once you left. I bet it was beautiful. xoxoJuly 23, 2016 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • April - Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the ripple effects created by my family. It’s all there, bubbling, rippling on the inside, but outside looks fine. Sometimes it’s hard to combat.July 23, 2016 – 3:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry to read that April. The things that ripple up inside of us are hard…we keep on keeping on but I know that feeling. I hope that you find peace to the parts that are bothering you soon. <3July 23, 2016 – 5:10 pmReplyCancel

  • K - I love this. How are you such an incredible writer?!! Your writing is so beautiful, and it captures me completely! And the sentiment is amazing. (“We choose what the voice inside our children’s heads will sound like.” – chills. SO true.) So many people seem to forget just how impactful their actions and words can be. Thank you for this incredible reminder – and thank you for using YOUR words and actions to make our world a better place. xoJuly 24, 2016 – 7:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, you, Sweet Thang. Thank you. Your writing is gorgeous and beautiful you know. I’ve been thinking a lot about the voice inside Tucker’s head… when he was younger, the ABA therapy he got was focused on extremes – like when he did something we’d prefer he didn’t do, we were taught to very strongly and firmly and loudly say NO! When he did something we wanted him to do, we were taught to be overly joyous about it and totally celebrate.
      That therapy works for sure but now that he’s turned seven, I wonder about the reaction of the “NO” and whether it’s still appropriate. Anyway, I want the voice in his head (and in yours and mine too even) to be one that is kind and forgiving and full of grace. That’s a hard thing… anyway, gah I ramble. I’m SO SO SO SSO SOOOOOOO HAPPY about your successful surgery! I cried too.July 24, 2016 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Me too, times a million.
    I was thinking today about how so many of us are out to spread love and kindness, and so many of us were clearly raised in a barn, or worse.July 24, 2016 – 8:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah… I hear that. I think the worst part is that it’s way too easy to get drawn into the mindset of being raised in a barn or worse, you know? Like I think about things I’ve said when I’m really angry or hurt, and that’s easier. It’s easier to be mean back when somebody is mean to us or our kids or humans in general. It’s harder to think of them with grace and well, you know.July 24, 2016 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Lux G. - Gosh, this is so true.
    Words are so powerful. It echoes for a lifetime.July 25, 2016 – 9:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - They really do, don’t they? I can so remember what people said to me when I was six and seven…July 27, 2016 – 8:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Hello my friend. I never went to sleep away camp, but Audrey is begging me. I don’t know why I’m so scared to let her go. And what’s going on with your step daughter? And I wonder about Trump, too. After traveling to so many places this year, I’ve discovered that we are no longer a civil society, and the ripple effects of that terrify me.July 26, 2016 – 9:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Sweets Call me and maybe consider letting her. It was one of the best things in my life… and I was shy. I’ve met Audrey and she will be fine. Swear. Call me – she should go to the camp I did??? Maybe. Gah to the civil society and ripples. I’m terrified too.July 27, 2016 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I have a feeling this post has created some beautiful ripples Kristi, and will go on creating more.
    I loved reading about you and Tucker’s conversation about stardust. There’s something about kids at that age that is almost magical – they have wonder and the beginning of understanding that they didn’t have when younger. (Ah, when I think about, there’s something magical about kids of any age, even 18 and almost-17 as mine are now.)

    Oh, and thank you again for your beautiful post for the #1000Speak blog!July 28, 2016 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne, that’s so sweet – thank you. You’re so right about kids being magical in their wonder and understanding. He’s still at an age where he believes in so much magic anyway and that we’re made partly of stardust makes perfect sense to him. And yeah, 17 and 18 is pretty wonderful too. I suppose all ages are for a parent. Even 40+ because then there are new conversations and magic.
      Also thank you for having my words on #1000Speak!! I loved writing that post!July 28, 2016 – 6:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - Becoming a parent has made me take a much harder look at all those ripples. It’s sobering and exciting at the same time. I hope my ripples are the kind that help a large ship across the ocean rather than the kind that knock over a tiny leaf boat.July 29, 2016 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OOH I love the imagery of helping a ship across the ocean rather than knocking over a tiny leaf boat.July 29, 2016 – 5:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Anthony - GreatFebruary 10, 2017 – 5:58 amReplyCancel

“I want to sleep alone,” he said. “Please leave.” I remember hoping for similar words in the past, but on this night, I was sad. Unprepared. “Don’t you want song tickles?” I’ve been tickling my son’s back while singing the same two songs to him since the day I brought him home and wondered whether […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Louise - First off, happy 7th birthday! Next – yes – it all goes so fast and this was a beautiful telling of the memories looking back as you enjoy now, celebrate (but mourn a little) the changes and increasing independence, and consider the future.July 14, 2016 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Louise! I really can’t believe he’s seven already. It feels like it’s just going way too fast (of course, there were days when he was two when I called my husband at 3pm to see when he was coming home because I couldn’t imagine what we’d do for the next four hours! Aye.July 15, 2016 – 6:45 pmReplyCancel

      • Louise - Oh, I remember those days on mat leave… There were days I couldn’t wait for my husband to get home so there was someone else available to help with our daughter. But those memories are (mostly) blurred out by the cuddly/cute memories 🙂July 15, 2016 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Me too. Those days were crazy hard and also crazy beautiful when we look back at them. I guess all of life must be that way… and yeah, the cuddly/cute moments? Worth everything forever. When they were little commas on our chests. xoJuly 15, 2016 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @Menopausalmom - I can’t believe he is already seven, Wow. They grow up in the blink of an eye. Cherish the moments.July 14, 2016 – 11:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t believe he’s seven either Marcia. Sigh. I’m trying to cherish the moments. Even when they involve another playground while mosquitos make me their buffet. 🙂July 15, 2016 – 7:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I’m such a dog lover that the photo of T with Chief is just…wow. If I have time today, I’m going to do this prompt – I need to write again and I’ve been so distracted by the busy-ness of my summer! Anyway, that’s a big step that he wants to sleep alone – for both of you. 🙂July 15, 2016 – 8:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know Emily! That photo blows me away still. ARGH I miss Chief. I really hope you’ll write to it – I miss you. Also, no pressure of course but the linkup is open until Sunday late afternoon. xoJuly 15, 2016 – 8:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Aw! Those milestones are so bittersweet, aren’t they??? My middle has been on a youth group mission trip this week – her first time away from home this long without me. I’ve been equally proud of what she is doing and worried about her all week. Bittersweet.

    Yay for Tucker and hugs to you!July 15, 2016 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Lisa! SOOSOOOSOSOS bittersweet! Gulp. I remember going to camp when I was oh… maybe seven???? It was Girl Scout camp for a week at first. I loved it so much that I went year after year, eventually ending up at another camp for 5 weeks each summer. I know camp and mission trips are a little different but really, it’s about them being alone and experiencing things without you. I’ll bet she’s having a blast (and yes, very very bittersweet). XO and huge hugs back!July 15, 2016 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Huge milestone, Kristi! Huge. And a sad one, too, for mom. We want them to grow up, we really do, and yet … I saw a little fellow toddling along on the seawall yesterday and my heart flopped. He walked just like my lad did some 18 or 19 years earlier. I couldn’t have told you how my son walked when he was little. I’ve forgotten. However, this little fellow brought it all back to me.
    And Chief? What a gem. Our black lab Fergus, took one look at my newborn daughter and gave me a quick “What is it and how long is it staying?” He passed away in 2010 and Oscar (golden retriever) and now Poppy have graced our lives since. Can’t imagine living without them.July 15, 2016 – 11:58 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, Kelly – the toddler walking just like yours had… it’s funny what makes us remember. Sometimes, it’s a scent or a song. Or a place. I love that you saw your little one in another’s toddle. Bittersweet.
      And yeah, Chief was The Best Dog Ever. I miss him. xoxo to Fergus and Oscar and Poppy. I know what you mean.July 15, 2016 – 8:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Huge milestone, Kristi! Huge. And a sad one, too, for mom. We want them to grow up, we really do, and yet … I saw a little fellow toddling along on the seawall yesterday and my heart flopped. He walked just like my lad did some 18 or 19 years earlier. I couldn’t have told you how my son walked when he was little. I’ve forgotten. However, this little fellow brought it all back to me.
    And Chief? What a gem. Our black lab Fergus, took one look at my newborn daughter and gave me a quick “What is it and how long is it staying?” He passed away in 2010 and Oscar (golden retriever) and now Poppy have graced our lives since. Can’t imagine living without them.July 15, 2016 – 11:58 amReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Good for Tucker and ultimately good for you that he wants to sleep alone but don’t be surprised if when he gets sick or you get sick he wants to sleep together. Alex finally graduated to his own bed but when either of us is not well he is right back to sleeping in the same bed. He is a wrestles sleeper, cold feet touching me and he digs his feet into me.

    I think there is something very healing about taking a nap with your child. My Mom used to say, “Alex crawled back into the womb every night.” Now he only does it either of us are sick.

    This year has been record breaking for sickness in our area so Alex has been sick a lot and so have I. We’ll be good for a decade after this though.

    This summer we have spent so much time learning to communicate, studying Tesla, studying Chemistry, and my goal was to involve Alex in the political process. He is sixteen. He needs to listen to the candidates and not the ads, distinguish between their platforms, and learn how to vote. This is an important part of our democracy. I had to toss the “American Agovernment” book when it claimed the people elect the president. Congress elects the president in the electoral college. My son now knows this. He gets to elect Congress and other representatives. This is the last election cycle I have before he is old enough to vote.

    He attended an NAACP candidate forum and the another candidate forum. I told him…if the message is different based on the audience they are unpredictable candidates. Our sheriff was consistent and I am not wild about him but I have to give home credit for being consistent across audiences.

    This year I involved Alex in politics to teach him about the political process in our country because in less than two years, he votes. I have also had him practice on ballots. He already understands the ballots because during the last election he helped me with mine.

    Unfortunately, through all this political congregation Alex has become ill. So my almost grown man what’s his Mom when he is sick.

    I never let Alex cry it out either and I hate people who suggest it. Alex cried, he needed his Mom and he got her. I will tell you he never sucked a pacifier or his thumb. He always had the security of knowing his Mom would be there for him and here I sit today.July 15, 2016 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Gah, JT, I’d be heartbroken if when he’s sick that he wouldn’t want me to sleep with him!!! I miss taking naps with Tucker. I didn’t say in the post because I thought it was getting long but he didn’t nap alone (in his own bed) until he was like 16 months or something. I just never wanted him to cry and it was very easy to lie him down next to me, and then to sneak off when I needed to do something (or to read a book or sleep myself when I didn’t).
      You rock with the studying and home schooling.
      Tucker never had a pacifier or sucked his thumb either. I sucked my thumb until I was six.July 15, 2016 – 9:39 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - You are an awesome Mom. I know it is hard to be at work missing your son but wanting the autonomy and social advancement of a career but you clearly have your priorities straight. I think you will never have any regrets.

        I think it is because we did not let them cry it out and breastfed them they did not suck their thumbs. Me until I was in the fourth grade. The day after my Mom threw my Dad out of the house I stopped.

        After living through my parents marriage and subsequent divorce which was worse, I never had fear again.

        Tucker will want you when he is feeling weak or is scared. That seems to be the only days my son loves me as a teenager. The rest of the days he is trying to over throw me and pull off a coup??

        He did sleep in my bed last night as he still isn’t feeling well. He will be on there again tonight if he still needs smoother mother love. It heals everything!! Kristi, you are doing exactly what Tucker needs even allowing him autonomy when he wants it.

        It is a very bitter sweet thing to watch our boys grow to you men. I often miss my baby, Alex, who adored me. But as they become more independent, even Alex, he needs me less. I get, “Cable is out. Fix the cable. I want my music videos.” This is said by handing me the remote and I explain the cable is out so he hands me the cell.

        No regrets sweets this is a really positive happy post but Iu destined.July 15, 2016 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - YOU are an awesome mom. I only work part-time. Sometimes, I wonder at how different life would be if I didn’t quit my job when he was born… we’d have more money but I’d know him less and I’ll take knowing him over money every day.
          I agree about the crying and thumb sucking. My littlest brother sucked his fingers until they blistered because my mom was really sick when he was born.
          I will look forward to the nights when Tucker still wants me to sleep with him, but also knowing he’s growing up *SOB* (and yes, I know it’s good)July 15, 2016 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - This was sweet but I can’t believe you were dismissed 🙁 I love that you have it documented. Most times that thing you do stops and then you forget when it stopped. Christopher STILL sleeps with a light on. Even though I did let Christopher cry it out, I totally get why you didn’t let Tucker cry it out. Different strokes for different folks 😉 I won’t make Christopher sleep without a light. And he accidently left Teddy behind (at home) for the first time EVER and I went an bought him someone else (currently named question mark) to sleep with the next day.July 15, 2016 – 3:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t believe I was dismissed either. Like for real!!! And most things, I don’t really have documented. I did a great job of all of it with scrap books and notes but then I started blogging… which I guess is a document in itself but still. The other day somebody asked me when Tucker finally started doing #2 in the potty. It was SUCH a HUGE deal, and yet… I wasn’t 100% positive. I Know it was almost a year after #1 happened… and I remember him hiding to do it in his diaper and then later waiting until naptime when he HAD a diaper on… but was he 3?
      And to the sleepie loves. Tucker has so many… right now he HAS TO snuggle with his 2 Minecraft buddies, Spiderman, his Tennessee Dog Pillow, and a snowman that started as a Christmas decoration and now is “Snowy.”
      I don’t think I’ll ever think he’s too old for that stuff. I remember sleeping with a childhood Winnie into high school. Comfort it comfort.
      I’d like to know what Christopher names the someone else who is question mark now…July 15, 2016 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Happy Birthday Tucker.
    🙂
    Seven years ago summer took on a whole new and unforgettable meaning for you.
    🙂
    I guess, seven is the “I can sleep by myself” year, officially, at least in your family.
    With all the bad happening in the world, nice to read about the love that exists. This is one of those posts full of love.July 15, 2016 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Kerry,
      So much love to you (and I will get you those questions soon I promise because this is going to be “epic” as Tucker likes to say).
      Seven is huge for me. xoxo to the love existing in the world. Too much bad, and too hard to process or even write about.July 15, 2016 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Mo at Mocadeaux - My daughter always needed some extra help and comfort to fall asleep. I stayed because, like you, I wanted to remember that time spent with her. She is now 31 and I promise you, the memories are oh so sweet!July 16, 2016 – 9:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much for the reminder. It’s funny – when our kids are babies and people say “REMEMBER THIS” we’re like um duh while just wishing for sleep and then they get older? And OMG I just wish he’d want me to stay!!July 17, 2016 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Such beautiful words as always, Kristi! I love this: “Because this summer, and every summer, is also always about Now.”
    Happy 7th birthday to Tucker! My boy is turning 15 next week, and is towering above me in every way. Hard to remember the little boy I lay next to at night, but reading your lovely post brought those memories back with a smile. Thank you! <3July 17, 2016 – 12:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - NIX! Hi hi hi,
      And thank you. Here’s to remembering and to cherishing because both can be so damn hard. xoJuly 18, 2016 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - A hot dog for sure. And ice cream!! That’s summer.
    My kids have actually always been decent about falling asleep. I just put them down and walk away. For real! It’s less easy as Scarlet gets older and wants more back scratches to to stay up past summer sunset.
    Des is the exact age I was when my father died so I think a lot about him overnight. If he even stirs, I’m generally awake and by his bedside. It’s funny how our infant and toddler experiences can change our parenting, and at different times.July 17, 2016 – 4:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - FOR REAL you just walk away for sleep??? I’ve never been able to do that (jealous) and Scarlet’s back scratches – did you know it’s the number one thing that releases oxytocin? Lizzi told me that as she’s studying for massage school.
      And of course you’d be affected and check on Des. Life is wonderful and horrible and all the betweens and all of it changes how we parent I guess. xoxoJuly 18, 2016 – 12:05 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I remember feeling like 7 was such a big step from 6 – more so than some other years. I also look back on “lasts” that I didn’t realize were lasts at the time – watch for those, because I wish I had known. My baby will be 15, and overnight (literally, last night) he started getting facial hair. Hold me, Kristi.July 17, 2016 – 5:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - What IS IT about SEVEN? Because it’s like from little kid to kid, just like that. And OMG so holding you Dana. LAST NIGHT he got facial hair? SO SO holding you. Also lunch soon yes?July 18, 2016 – 12:07 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - You break my heart with the eight days, you really do. Tonight is Cammy’s birthday eve and I can’t believe it. It freaks me out. Nine:). So glad y’all are have a big beautiful summer. xoxo, AllieJuly 19, 2016 – 12:58 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry Allie but I mostly turned out okay so it couldn’t have been all that awful 🙂
      and NINE!?!?! NINE. Oh nine. Being nine feels so young though too. It’s just no longer four, ya know? xoxoxoJuly 19, 2016 – 4:14 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - O! M! G!

    The photo of Tucker & Chief is freaking PRICELESS))) xxxJuly 20, 2016 – 12:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Jenny - Happy to read this. Thanks a lot for sharing.February 10, 2017 – 7:45 amReplyCancel

I sit at my keyboard having planned to tell you about my little boy growing from six to seven, milestones met, and about how we rang in his seventh birthday with fireworks and questions I’d never have expected from him. I’d planned to share the magic of a gem mine and water rides on a hot […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Emily - Such a thoughtful piece Kristi. I read one on Scary Mommy earlier today that talked about how the families with white children who are friends with children who are black need to do a better job of not just educating them about racism and how it exists (even though it doesn’t in their own eyes), but also educating them about protecting their friends who happen to be black and looking out for them. I can’t find the article now because I’d post the link here and I’m probably butchering the point of it, but it did resonate with me. However, It also saddened me that this mom felt compelled to write a piece about keeping her children safe.July 10, 2016 – 4:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Emily. I’ll have to try and find the Scary Mommy piece. I think it’s good so many people are writing and talking about it. Maybe this is the start and it breaks my heart that moms feel their children are less safe because they have more melatonin than some other people. Sigh.July 11, 2016 – 8:01 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Thank you for your post…seriously, I was jonesing!!

    You know me In Real Life. You know my family is Republican and were Rough Riders. We fought in wars with emancipated slaves in the early 1900s. As Germans, we are taught to have tribal ideology and not racial.

    You also know my son is a white autistic child who loves black people. He thinks he is Eminem. I too have also brought him up to love every one until they give him reason not to. I’d never teach my child to hate…even broccoli. It is such a negative emotion. I always remind Alex he is not loved by all black people to which they respond, “Yes, we don’t!” So besides the occasional racist person we run into…we don’t see it. I can also speak to law enforcements behavior in this community. They are very respectful until a gun gets pulled.

    I would also like to write to “Black Lives Matter”. I have been told time and time again living in this community black is a life style. My friends tell me we are black too because we have lived here so long. I do think ALL LIVES MATTER! But I also raised my child in a black community so he would live an inclusionary life. I think he has benefitted from the experience.

    Finally, law enforcement is charged with attempting to keep a chaotic world from self destructing. No all cops are good but the majority of them are. They are people who put it on the line everyday just to earn a small paycheck to make it home to their families too.

    ALL LIVES MATTER including the teen with autism hanging with the brothers in the hood because black is truly a life style.July 10, 2016 – 8:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You’re so kind thank you (and I still forgive you for being republican lol). You know you really should write to #blacklivesmatter – your perspective is unique and important. I hope you will and of course all lives matter – of COURSE they do. But today we need to help end racism. It’s pointless and wrong. I know what you mean about law enforcement too… most are good. Like most things. xoxoJuly 11, 2016 – 8:04 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - And I forgive you my Democratic friend..LOL! We just return from a candidate forum hosted by the NAACP. I was asked to join the NAACP and I might. I was there to support a black candidate for sheriff.

        I think diversity in law enforcement is critical resolving racial tension but children with special needs often have conflict with law enforcement as well. ALL LIVES MATTER…the candidate for sheriff who also happened to be black said so too. We are all in it together especially the young impressionable white child with autism listening that his life was important as well.

        ALL of us matter and diversity is our weapon to defeat ignorance.

        BTW, Schoolboard would not take a question about ESE students. That was pretty upsetting.July 11, 2016 – 8:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Of course all lives matter, but I also see nothing wrong with the hash tag for BLM either. Why does it have to be one or the other with everyone? Having a Twitter hash tag and movement for change, called Black Lives Matter, this, in no way, negates the universal truth that all lives do, indeed, matter.
    I am white, female, with disability. I can speak to many things. I can’t speak to people immediately hating me or fearing me because of my skin colour. All I can speak to is someone, possibly, disliking me or fearing me or misunderstanding me because they’ve never known anyone who was blind before. That scares some, but not exactly in the same way as the matter of race.
    I know it’s the environment you grew up in, where you live, amount of poverty you’ve experienced that also plays a part. You are right. Often, a white person with their hand in a big bag would not elicit the same response as if it were a black person, when there’s fear of a gun coming out of that bag. That’s the key. Guns.
    I don’t mean to bring the issue away from skin colour, which I don’t see, but doesn’t free me totally from pre-judgments and prejudice, but it’s no help to throw in guns, into an already possibly misunderstood situation. Police stopping a vehicle, approaching a stranger in a car window, this can lead to disastrous results.
    I blame nobody. I just wish guns weren’t quite so readily available to all.
    Still, we all need to remember, in so much of life, it doesn’t need to be an either or situation.July 11, 2016 – 2:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Kerry,
      I guess it doesn’t have to be one or the other because all lives do matter. But the article that I read talking about how saying all lives matter dismisses the fact that many people feel that black lives DONT matter right now makes that hashtag more important or relevant or something right now, I think. Adding the “too” to the end makes a huge difference.
      And yeah, I know more first-hand about people not “liking” somebody because of his (or her) abilities – I’ve seen that with my son and I’m so very sorry you see it in your life.
      And another yeah, the guns. They’re too readily accessible. And that’s WRONG and gigantically a part of the problem. When I first wrote this, it was like 2,000 words about how we were at our local grocery and a man dropped a gun on the floor twice and I was so shocked… and Tucker saw it, and my husband confronted him and and and. Guns shouldn’t be so readily available. Truth.July 11, 2016 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - The analogy is incredible – “and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any!”
    You saw how Scarlet feels about racism. She says, “Like.. nothing is dumber.”
    It’s true. Things are on par with it, but WTF. Kids aren’t born to think this way. What is wrong with these silent demons, who seem to be getting louder and louder? Do I have those demons of hate and fear? I really think not. If so, I’d beat the heck out of them, to get them expelled.July 11, 2016 – 3:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love Scarlet’s comment so much. Because truth – “nothing is dumber.” I agree kids aren’t born this way. Tucker talks about skin color the way he talks about shirt color. Like “you know the peach girl with the blue shirt?”
      I really think not either to you and I but. Yes, if so let’s expel them. I don’t think they’re there though although our empathy hearts are and so we know when to speak up and maybe that’s a start.July 11, 2016 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - Kristi, as some who somewhat sees both sides, I love this. I have experienced white privilege and racism first hand. I have seen my brother and myself treated completely different at the same time, by the same person, because of the color of our skin. Even with that experience, I have stayed silent in the past, unsure if it was “my place” to say anything, but it is “my place” it is all of “our places” Black lives do matter and we can’t stay silent.July 11, 2016 – 4:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - One of my husband’s brothers is black too and I keep thinking of him, such a great guy, and the difference between maybe him being pulled over and my husband being pulled over. All lives matter but it’s really time I think to talk about why #blacklivesmatter. I’d be interested to hear more about your experiences for sure.July 11, 2016 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - Shared this in my biracial support group
    Thank you for being the voice we need to hearJuly 11, 2016 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - —-I agree, Kristi.
    “BLACK LIVES MATTER.”
    But nothing will change until we unite as
    ONE nation, One blood, One color, One Humanity.
    We separate ourselves: Muslims, Christians, Blacks, Whites, Poor, Rich, and let us not forget, Republicans & Democrats.
    WHAT A MESS there. Right?
    There is not ONE answer, one solution,
    but I know one thing for sure.
    It’s about LOVE, Respect, Education, & LOVE LOVE LOVE. xxx kiss from MN.
    Watch this WONDERFUL video I saw today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JbGC1Ine6MJuly 14, 2016 – 2:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kim,
      I so hope that people’s sadness and anger over tragedy after tragedy start to make a difference and start to bond us together as ONE HUMANITY. My little boy doesn’t see any difference so how is it being taught? We have to stop it – and yes yes yes it’s about love, respect, education and LOVE LOVE LOVE. Going to watch the video now – thank you.July 15, 2016 – 6:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I know this wasn’t meant to make me cry but my emotions are really on the edge. Just comparing your opening to the post I wrote about Driving While Black. Though I put my humorous spin on the experience, it still bothers me. I drove by that spot today and came in the way the cop would have seen me, and saw a car pull beyond the stop sign just like I did and I still can’t believe he stopped me and everyone does it. You have to in order to see oncoming traffic. Anyway, everytime I’m ready to write, something happens and I.CANT.EVEN. So I’ve been quiet and doing other things to keep my mind from writing words I can’t take back. It is quite – a burden of silence. I love what you’ve written here. When a Black person speaks out on social media about what’s going on, it’s damn if you do damn if you don’t. “We” are going to piss off half of our friends for saying #BlackLivesMatter. My courage to speak up right now really sucks. That’s for sharing your words and the articles of others. Love ya!July 15, 2016 – 3:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Kenya,
      Yeah, it still bothers me too about that cop shaking his head at you. What a ________. I know what you mean about CANT EVEN too. I think a lot of us feel that way now. So angry and sad and just feeling helpless. I almost didn’t post this because I was like “who am I?” and then I was all “who am I not to?” because honestly while I do think all lives matter (because duh), we’re seeing racism over skin color and we have to talk about black lives matter so we can finally look at us all as the human race.
      Sigh. I see Tucker asking “wait, which David? The brown one or the peach one?” and that’s ALL skin color means to him now and I wonder how all these racist adults lost that innocence. How they got taught they were “better” or whatever because of less pigment?!?!?
      And sometimes, we have to just go home and hug the people we love and not speak up. But wow friend, that burden of silence. I’m sure it’s super-loud. xoxo and so love you too.July 15, 2016 – 7:39 pmReplyCancel

      • Kristi Campbell - PS When I say “who am I not to?” I hope you know I mean me as a middle aged white lady who let her plates expire and not because I think you should say anything until you want to or never or well, you know. . xoxoJuly 15, 2016 – 7:41 pmReplyCancel

I can’t remember whether we visited the old folks home to earn a Brownie Troop badge or to visit somebody. My mom told us old people were the same as we were and reminded us that they used to be young. She showed us photos of my Grandma as a girl. I wouldn’t have recognized her.  My brothers and I dressed in church clothes […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Jen - I don’t know how you always get it all so right but you do
    June 30, 2016 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - Love you and hate the way you slice through my heart like a warm knife through butter when you write. You are a writer, please accept that.

    None of us get it right all the time. Tucker is a very wonderful young an and you are an exceptionally sensitive parent.

    Darn you and love you for your wonderful words.

    Btw, a certain politician came to visit Alex today and they got along famously.July 1, 2016 – 1:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer.
      Tell me about who visited Alex!!!July 2, 2016 – 1:05 amReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - A young politician running for Congress. He really seemed to understand autism and rare disorders. He shook Alex’s hand and Alex lit up with a big smile. I want people in office who are going to accept and love our children. Btw, you know I live in an all black neighborhood and this is the first politician to knock on our door.

        So far we have politicians who can barely say the word, “autism” let alone have a plan to help them. We are all so busy as parents of children with special needs but if we want a seat at the table for our children we have to get involved.

        My house was a mess and I hadn’t slept in days. But he didn’t judge but asked, “Why didn’t I have any help?” I told him none of us in this area do and he wants to change that. I am voting for people who will help our kids.July 2, 2016 – 3:00 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - That’s awesome that you met a person who can maybe actually help get you some help!! Here’s to no judgement and getting what our kids need. Good job, you.July 5, 2016 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Lux G. - Oh, I hear you.

    I think the conflicts in the world root from misunderstanding and from forcing our beliefs towards others.

    It’s always nice to pause and go out and look up the sky. It puts in perspective.July 1, 2016 – 4:28 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree. I go outside and see the whole world differently than I did when trapped in my mind just minutes before. Thank you for your insight.July 2, 2016 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I wish the world knew all those things too, but I know you already know I think that. 🙂 And taking pictures of the artwork before tossing it? Genius! I wish I would have thought of that years ago instead of storing it all in my attic!July 1, 2016 – 9:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know Em and OMG the bins and bins of papers. I think they increase every year. At first, I was like Ok save all of it. But then I had three bins and he wasn’t even 1/2 way through first grade yet. I can’t imagine the three boys thing!!July 2, 2016 – 1:08 amReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Oh, I know so much of society is ruled inside of a courtroom, but I could never ever be a lawyer. I hate not knowing if someone is guilty of a crime or not. That uncertainty, in the face of such serious matters as say rape or murder of a child, those keep me up at night as it is.
    I also love to go out at night and pay attention to the sounds and smells all around me. I also enjoy being nosy, wondering where a car passing might be going. I now understand it’s simply a writer’s observational curiosity.
    We are all deserving humans. You are right. That was driven home to me in a strange way just yesterday when discussing life insurance policies. My brother and I are apparently only worth ten thousand while my older sister and brother are worth twenty, once certain medical conditions and disabilities came to light. Like, I understand it’s all about money, that us as humans of worth isn’t the main point of it. How business works I understand. Just made me sad.
    Working on my post for today, which just so happens to involve Obama and his speech here in Canada the other day. Today is Canada’s birthday and it made me think about a lot of things, not just here in my country, but everywhere.July 1, 2016 – 9:53 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I could never be a lawyer either now, but that’s what I originally went to college for, thinking I could save the wrongfully accused. But when I went with my freshman year teacher, it was so much different from what I thought and the whole guilty vs. not guilty had so much less to do with it all than I knew…
      Here’s to being nosy wondering where a car went. Maybe that really is a writerly quality that most people don’t think of.
      I am so sad about your life insurance policy and that makes zero sense to me and makes me super sad. Like how is a life less valuable than a life???
      I haven’t yet seen Obama’s speech but saw that it was amazing. We’re out of town now for Tucker’s birthday but I look forward to finding it. xoxo to you.July 2, 2016 – 1:12 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh Kristi! I have the same wish:)! And you would have made a great attorney! Happy Fourth! Are you going to Colorado? If so, call me:).July 1, 2016 – 10:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie!!! I SO SO SO wish but we’re in Tennessee (which is also awesome but I won’t get to see you). Are you going to see Steph?? Happy Fourth to you!July 2, 2016 – 1:13 amReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - Beautiful! Deep down we really all do want and need the same things.July 1, 2016 – 11:36 amReplyCancel

  • Debi - We sure are more similar than different. I think that the older we get, the more likely we are to see that.July 1, 2016 – 12:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I still do too, but the good news is that we both are writers.
    It was always a whisper in my brain, no matter what I pursued in life. I mean, since the very beginning. Even though I went through that phase where I wanted to be a movie star.July 1, 2016 – 2:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ditto. And here we are. Writing. Doing. Being. You can still be a movie star.July 2, 2016 – 1:20 amReplyCancel

  • Michele - Well said, Kristi (as always). And know that your words make a difference, and YOU are helping to make your wish a reality – post by post you are teaching us and helping us learn how to be more compassionate. You’ve certainly done that for me, and I’m so grateful. xoxoJuly 1, 2016 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you thank you and I’m so grateful for you. Let’s get together. Soon. Tucker’s almost 7 and OMG soon yours will be… too soon.July 2, 2016 – 1:28 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Yes! We are are at the beach this week and two night ago, I state don the deck of our rented beach house staring up at the stars and listening to the ocean waves roar in the background I was reminded what a tiny speck I am (we are) in this big, wide world. But, you are right – we are all human and more alike than different – something all of us need to remember.July 2, 2016 – 9:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that feeling from being at the beach – the whole “I’m just a speck” but also so connected to everything past and now and future… it’s a great reminder and the very best part of vacation I think.July 5, 2016 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Maria - We say its a small beautiful world… but its huge enough and interesting enough to keep us engaged in our lifetime. Even I wish we all see that everyone are the same weather they are in City or village, weather they belong to different age groups, different genders and caste… there is a common bond between us… maybe its humanity… and we have the ability to live happily and spend time with each other being together… we often don’t realise it and miss a oppurtunity to be a more worldly wise open person… we all should be open minded and love the diversity and appreciate even the simple beauties of life, then we all would be happier for sure!!July 11, 2016 – 12:13 amReplyCancel

“I wanna wear my fancy shirt,” he said. It was 8:00 a.m. He should have been dressed. We still needed to eat breakfast, brush teeth, find his shoes and catch the school bus. “Okay,” I said. I went to his closet, and held out the two fancy shirts he’ll wear. One’s a short-sleeved orange polo. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Dana Dominey - Oh my goodness… there you go again. As you know my, “Little Peanut,” is twice as old are your boy now… Oh how I remember fondly asking him if he wanted me to hold his hand so he could fall asleep in car even before he finally spoke at 4yrs old. How warm and cuddly he was facing in in his Baby Bjorn… his little head under my chin… And the longing for him to have friends of his own.. and it finally happening! Your stories of before friends to NOW… all of them racing all around your home! Remember to pinch yourself anytime you take it for granted. You are his best mom ever… You created an environment that aids in his thriving! And he is happy!June 24, 2016 – 4:21 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dana, thank you! I definitely will pinch myself and OOOH the Baby Bjorn! I still have Tucker’s bouncy seat and Bjorn. Just haven’t been able to get rid of them yet. *sniff*
      Love that you held your Little Peanut’s hand in the car. I used to sit in the back most of the time 🙂June 24, 2016 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Glad you see so many wonderful memories in the past, see how far life comes, and the dreams of some day. Sweet all around. Sorry for the morning after appearance.
    🙂
    I enjoy taking part, but have a few issues with getting the link up working right, how I like it, as I am so bad at blogging as a whole. The writing part I knew I could do, but didn’t expect to not be at home last night. Stayed over at my brother’s house one extra night. Different routine, but here I am. Hope I didn’t let you down any. Thanks again for including me. Happy to be here.June 24, 2016 – 10:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Kerry,
      No problem about the next morning appearance – truly! I’m glad you’re here and of course you didn’t let me down!! I absolutely loved this week’s sentence. Thank you for it.June 24, 2016 – 12:27 pmReplyCancel

      • Kerry - Thank you.
        🙂
        I am always fascinated by what people see, imagine, when they don’t have their eyes wide open to help navigate.
        🙂
        Might sound strange.June 27, 2016 – 8:33 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Kerry, that doesn’t sound strange at all! It really is fascinating. What people see. How they think. What they remember and hope for… 😀June 28, 2016 – 10:04 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh, this was a good post. First, yay on the friends coming over;). Next, I always think about my kids handing me a grandchild to hold. I will not be able to handle it!!!!!June 24, 2016 – 2:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie, EEEP to the kids handing us grandchildren to hold. I don’t know how I’ll handle it either but sometimes I think about it. Like, kind of a lot.June 24, 2016 – 5:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh, and baby Tucker is scrumptious!June 24, 2016 – 2:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Way to make me cry, as this is the time both our babies are going to turn seven. WTH??
    So beautiful.June 24, 2016 – 3:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh, I love how you picture the future and meeting your grandson…some people may think it’s strange to picture that sort of thing, but I don’t, because i totally get it. 🙂June 24, 2016 – 3:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      So glad you can picture meeting your grandkids too! It’s not weird 🙂June 24, 2016 – 5:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - Sleep with one eye open, my friend. It all goes too fast. My boy is now a 5th grader and I can barely handle it. Yet, at the same time, it makes some kind of weird, illogical sense. I still have no idea what I am doing though!June 24, 2016 – 8:59 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ll sleep with one eye open and OMG I can’t believe he’s going to be in second grade and YOURS IN FIFTH. Said it on FB will say it again. He is YOU. So much. Love. Ride the waves and the lightning my friend.June 24, 2016 – 9:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Dashy - Such a heartfelt post. Time flies doesn’t it? Surely there are moments that you miss greatly, but also the many moments yet to come, the very ones you can look forward to. 🙂June 25, 2016 – 4:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Dashy,
      Time SO flies and yes, the ones to come are the ones that help us let go of the ones too quickly gone I think. Or something like that.June 25, 2016 – 7:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Corinne - I’m always asking my now teenage niece and nephew why they grow up. I hope someday you’ll see your not-so-little-anymore boy carrying his baby to meet his or her lovely grandmother!June 26, 2016 – 8:59 amReplyCancel

  • yvonne - Oh, wow, your ending really got me! It took a moment for me to realise what it was about but oh!
    And all the rest was beautiful too. I thought Tucker was almost 6 and was surprised to see he’s nearly 7. How fast time goes!June 26, 2016 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you Yvonne!!! And I know. I keep remembering his third birthday. His first. I can’t believe we’re soon to celebrate seven. GAH.June 28, 2016 – 12:09 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Even though your writing is so personal, you always capture the universal truths of parenting. Of the dreams yet to be, the passage of time, the hopes for the future. I hope one day we can meet for lunch with our grandchildren in tow, two little commas napping in their strollers.June 28, 2016 – 12:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG meeting you for lunch with our little commas napping? I so very hope so too.June 28, 2016 – 11:41 pmReplyCancel

We walk in the door, and I remind my voice to be gentle. Sometimes, she forgets. Tonight, she’s listened and is quiet, waiting. I’m quiet too, waiting for the right words. My son takes off his shoes and his helmet, pushes his scooter behind the door, and starts to walk away, head bent. “Buddy…” I […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Sandy - Kristi, it’s been a while. I have so many of your posts in my inbox to catch up on. I knew this one would be special and I was right. I love the relationship you have with your son and that you are so willing to share it. It’s inspiring.June 17, 2016 – 7:34 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandy! Hi, you. I love seeing your name here and your pretty smile on FB. Thank you! My son deserves more credit than I do. He’s such a gentle and sweet soul that he makes it easy to have a good relationship with him. xoxoJune 17, 2016 – 6:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - First of all, Holy Moly – Tucker looks like you!!! I never noticed it so much until I looked at the at picture of you. 🙂

    I wonder what happened to that first Ricky too?? I wonder how many things I hear like that when I was a kid and knew something was wrong but didn’t really know at the same time?? I wonder if my girls hear things like that now?? (Actually, I’m sadly sure they do – I just wonder what they hear and how they respond.)June 17, 2016 – 8:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to Tucker looking like me Lisa (and YAY because doesn’t every parent want their kid to at least have some of them in them??). I tried to find Ricky on FB but had no luck. I wonder what my son hears as well. I think not much but oh gosh I don’t know.June 17, 2016 – 6:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Isn’t it haunting – to think of kids like the first Ricky and wonder where they are today?

    I’ve often wondered whether staying or going is better (like you thought at Tae Kwan Do.) Now I’m always going, but my kids know I’d stay in a second if they needed me.June 17, 2016 – 10:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes – I did try to find Ricky on Facebook but no luck. Sigh. I hope he’s okay. Not knowing about staying or going is hard. It’s the pull away and hold close thing maybe.June 17, 2016 – 6:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I know what you mean about re-living certain moments from our childhood through our kids and the experiences they are having now. I look at some of the friends they have now and wonder if that person will be their “Ricky” who they wonder about when they’re older. Of course, with social media, they have a better likelihood of keeping track of childhood friends than we do. I’ve tracked down a lot of mine, but there are still a few others who I wonder where they are now…June 17, 2016 – 10:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      It’s true that our kids have a better chance of staying in touch than we did. I mean back then, if you didn’t have a phone number or an address, they may as well have lived on another planet. I tried to track Ricky down on FB but haven’t had any luck. Oh well. I hope he’s okay. And that the Rickys in our kids lives are able to be found…June 17, 2016 – 6:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I hope Ricky is ok! We had a band of wild boys in our neighborhood and at least three of them are now dead. Two were brothers. Oh, those poor parents!
    Why did I crash your beautiful post with that?
    I hope Ricky 1 is ok..June 17, 2016 – 10:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OUCH to the band of wild boys in your neighborhood! That’s scary and horrible. The poor parents is right. Sigh. I hope Ricky 1 is okay too. I tried to find him on FB but no luck…June 17, 2016 – 6:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - I had a Ricky too. His name was Rory. Hard to imagine them as anything but the little boys in memories. Somehow, now sure I will ever try very hard to find out what the adult Rory is up to. I believe he is on Facebook though.
    Another sweet portrait of your relationship with your son Kristi. Actually, I wrote something other than a blog this week. It’s a short short story and all your stories of you and Tucker have had an influence on me. Reading it back, I noticed a bit of influence in there from you. Thank you for that. Of course, all fiction and different story entirely. Just a small detection of the affect you have had on me since I started linking with FTSF.
    I just love the special, unique little rituals and things that are just between the two of you. They are so imaginative and uniquely yours.June 17, 2016 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey you, I’m going to read it now and I’m sure it’s absolutely brilliant and amazing and I am beyond flattered that you feel like there’s a slight influence in your post from us connecting. I’ll let you know what I think (going now).June 18, 2016 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • KErry - Hey. Allow me to clarify. When I say that I mean I wrote a short story, independent of the blog world. The post here is something else. The short story is for a summer writing contest here in Canada I’m submitting to.June 18, 2016 – 12:22 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Girls at his party – oh momma, you’re going to be in trouble! Tucker’s going to be a playa! What are you planning?June 20, 2016 – 9:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie, it’s going to be great! A pool party with pizza and Minecraft cake. The cake’s going to be amazing (I hope) – one of my neighbors started an allergy-free baking company and is making one from a drawing I gave her 🙂
      And yeah, girls. Oh jeez. Wish you lived closer!June 21, 2016 – 10:52 amReplyCancel

  • Lux G. - I don’t have kids of my own yet but I see my cousins’ offspring and say, wow, isn’t that familiar. 😀June 22, 2016 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww that was so sweet! And about Michelle* – too cute!

    I hope your first Ricky grew up to be okay. Today I regret not saying anything about a friend I had in middle school and I know her mom “beat” her. She showed me her bruises. In my mind I couldn’t fathom it being done for no reason and wondered why she was bad at home if she was good in school. 🙁 But one time she told me she got a bad beating and it was my fault. We had gone to the movies and had to call her mom to pick us up. There was only a payphone at the Pizza Hut. It was raining. She asked me to go call her mom. So I ran to the pizza hut and called and I was out of breath when I told her our movie was over. She beat her daughter because I sounded impatient when I called. So she stopped being friends with me. I’ll never forget that. And I so regret that I never said anything to my parents. Good for you being so young and saying something.June 23, 2016 – 8:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
      The Michelle* thing is adorable. 🙂 And scary because SEVEN?? Really? Already? Still cute though. That’s so sad about your friend and how her mom didn’t let her be friends with you for sounding impatient when out of breath. That’s really sad. I hope she ended up okay and that her mom got help… sigh. I don’t think kids really know when to say something to their parents and I think it’s totally normal to assume that if a kid is punished that it’s the kid’s fault, you know? We’re working with Tucker right now on understanding that when we (or a teacher or whoever) doesn’t like his behavior that we still like him. He’s not convinced so we have to be really careful about how we talk to him when he’s doing something we don’t approve of. This parenting stuff is hard but being a kid was too. Anyway, I ramble. I feel sad for Ricky and for you and your friend and for pretty much all kids who don’t know what to do or say. I’m also a bit over-emotional, having just gotten home from T’s birthday trip. So there’s that. Anyway. Thanks. And you couldn’t have known. Truly.July 5, 2016 – 7:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I forgot to comment WOW to how much you Tucker looks like you!June 23, 2016 – 8:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
      The Michelle* thing is adorable. 🙂 And scary because SEVEN?? Really? Already? Still cute though. That’s so sad about your friend and how her mom didn’t let her be friends with you for sounding impatient when out of breath. That’s really sad. I hope she ended up okay and that her mom got help… sigh. I don’t think kids really know when to say something to their parents and I think it’s totally normal to assume that if a kid is punished that it’s the kid’s fault, you know? We’re working with Tucker right now on understanding that when we (or a teacher or whoever) doesn’t like his behavior that we still like him. He’s not convinced so we have to be really careful about how we talk to him when he’s doing something we don’t approve of. This parenting stuff is hard but being a kid was too. Anyway, I ramble. I feel sad for Ricky and for you and your friend and for pretty much all kids who don’t know what to do or say. I’m also a bit over-emotional, having just gotten home from T’s birthday trip. So there’s that. Anyway. Thanks. And you couldn’t have known. Truly.

      OH! And thanks! Sometimes he really does look like me but he’s got his daddy’s build/body. Like his height and his ears and shape of head and feet. All dad’s not me. 🙂July 5, 2016 – 7:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - “Be gentle when angry or frustrated or mad” -Smart kid. I wish I could remember that.July 4, 2016 – 4:05 pmReplyCancel

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