Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

“Mommy, I need you.”  I walk to the couch, lean down, place my hand on his cheek, and kiss my son’s head. His hair smells like the playground – dirt and mulch and little-boy sweat that isn’t yet drenched in testosterone. Stinky, but in an innocent way. A little-boy way. “What’s up, baby?” I said. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Emily - Please know that what I’m about to say in know way diminishes the beautiful honesty of this post, but my favorite part was the picture of you as Grandma wearing a Metallica t-shirt, because it’s just hilarious and I know you WILL in fact be that Grandma. My mom was pretty darn close to that, wearing ripped jeans, Uggs and old t-shirts until the day she passed away so maybe that’s why I also love that cartoon drawing of you so much. And just for the record (bc I did not participate in tonight’s prompt), I think I too would travel forward into the future to make sure my kids and their kids are doing okay…March 24, 2016 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL that’s my favorite part too Emily! And I so hope we’ll get to see that our kids and their kids are doing okay… xoMarch 25, 2016 – 8:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - You hit my sentimental spot!

    I think if you’re wearing that t-shirt you’re going to be around to see that he is fine. I miss your drawings! Takes me back to when I first met you blog to blog.

    I try not to think how old I’ll be if Christopher doesn’t have children until his mid 30s like I did. If I’m super old I’m going to choose one of those young grandma names like Gigi or something.March 24, 2016 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY for hitting your sentimental spot! And thanks thinking that I’ll be around and for saying you miss my drawings. I think I need to get back to doing them again because I miss them too. And you can be Gigi even if you’re young (here’s hoping that he’s not too old and not too young when he becomes a father – for both of us!!!).March 25, 2016 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel the Alien - I love the picture of you as a Grandma in a Metallica T-shirt! On a more serious note, I can imagine how hard that is to think about, because I worry about whether i MYSELF will be okay when my parents die! I think it would be important to remember that there will most likely be lots and lots and lots of time before that actually happens. He will most likely not be a little boy when you die… he’ll be an adult, and you’ll have had so many years to help prepare him to live his life to the fullest. And he will have other people who love him, friends and family members. It is hard for me to imagine myself or anyone else ever really being “okay” after our parents die. But as far as practical matters, if you consider how much your little guy has grown already, and how he is clearly very clever and has a great imagination, I think he will definitely be okay.March 24, 2016 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Angel, and you’re right. I’m old and STILL can’t imagine my parents not being around although I do know that I’ll be okay… and I very much hope that your parents (and mine) are super super SUPER old and healthy for a long time. I wish that for us, too. I appreciate you thinking he’ll be okay and saying so. Thank you.March 25, 2016 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I want the same thing, but I try not to think about it. Is that bad.? I just can’t go there – you know. I’m just confident that I will live forever – I WILL!!! And once again, please go easy on yourself, okay? You are human and do more that most moms I know. No one can be on “24-7.” You are allowed to not play.March 25, 2016 – 8:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - No that’s not bad… I don’t blame you for not wanting to go there. I’m weird and totally terrified of an early death but I think your way is much more “normal” ya know? And thanks, you! I will.March 25, 2016 – 9:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Alison - I think of this all the time and my son is 18! The part about you wondering if you do enough or what he will remember about you really hit home for me, because I wonder that too. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I have learned I can’t dwell on that thought because you and I as mom’s need “our time” so we’ll feel rejuvenated and focused so we can be there for our sons. By the way, I just loved the granny in the Metallica t-shirt!!March 25, 2016 – 9:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Alison and honestly, 18 is still really young to lose a parent I think. And you’re so right – we moms really DO need our time to rejuvenate. Glad you like the Metallic shirt drawing – me too 🙂March 25, 2016 – 9:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Aww.. I think I’d want to do the same.
    I used to think that when people’s parents died when they were “old” – like 60 or 70, it would hurt less. Somehow. That it hurts more the younger you are. Although my mom lost her mom at age 100, and it hurt terribly. Very terribly.
    But.. she’s ok.
    She knew she was loved and supported. Like Tucker!March 25, 2016 – 9:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tamara,
      I think it’s hard no matter what but for SURE it’s better to lose somebody like a parent when you’re not a young child… *sob* and xoxo to you, SW.March 25, 2016 – 9:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Aw! I think we all need our moms always because, well, they are our moms. However, My bet is that Tucker will be just fine when you die because you are giving him the foundation he needs, but it is very scary to think about.March 25, 2016 – 5:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Lisa. I hope he’s okay when I die in a REALLY REALLY long time!!March 25, 2016 – 9:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Good point by Leanne. So true and I turned out alright. I clearly remember both of my parents going back to bed after I had opened all my Christmas presents. It might be something about boys though because I had to entertain my brother.March 25, 2016 – 7:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL about “something about boys!” I think it’s about the times too. Back then, we just ran around like puppies flitting from neighbor’s to neighbor’s…March 25, 2016 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - First off, I love that old you is still rocking the Metallica shirt. Secondly, this is something I worry about everyday. What would happen if I wasn’t here? Would he be ok? Will he be ok? Will anyone love him as fiercely as I do? Whether he stays with us forever or goes out into the world and gets married, I just want him to be ok and to be happy.March 25, 2016 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - METALLICA! 😀
      And yeah, I worry about it every day too… which sucks because it’s not like worrying really does anything. Or, maybe, worrying helps us to know that we need to help them be confident now? I don’t know… but I hear you on just wanting them to be ok and happy!March 26, 2016 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Another sweet and lovely post about you and your son Kristi.
    It hit home, in particular, because I know my parents worry too.
    It hasn’t been easy on them to have not one visually impaired child, but two. They are always worrying, along with their other two kids, even though we are all grown now.
    I know I am lucky and so are they. I may have been born with a pretty major disability, physically, but I am able to do most everyday tasks for myself. I live independently.
    My mother not only raised us, she then went out and got a job where she takes care of people with more severe disabilities, both physical and developmental, than anything I’ve ever had to deal with. She does all this with compassion and gentleness.
    But I know, I can’t deny, my parents help my brother and myself out much more than my two sighted siblings. I don’t always like to depend on them as much as I do and I hate to imagine when they will be gone, but more even for them because I know they fear leaving us here without them one day.
    I tell myself it will be okay, I will be okay, but reading it from the parent’s point-of-view is difficult.
    I thought about writing more about wanting to go forward in time, just so I can make sure I will find my way, but I think I am also too afraid I’d see something I didn’t want to discover, that I will end up alone, won’t be okay without the support and help of my parents.
    That wouldn’t be a pleasant thing for any of us to know ahead of time, or would it?
    Hmmmmm.March 26, 2016 – 8:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow Kerry, we need to talk more. I didn’t realize that you also have a visually impaired sibling. Not that that really matters but it gives me more insight to your parents’ worries, I guess.
      I know my son is only six but he already doesn’t want to depend on us, so I think that’s pretty universal – disabilities or not really.. and maybe universal that parents just want to help no matter what their kids are like because ALL kids can really do anything…
      I know you’ll be okay. I know (mostly) that my son will be too… but dang if I don’t worry…
      And yes, it would be so great if we could know ahead of time. If you figure that out, will you please share???March 26, 2016 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @Menopausalmom - This is so sweet, Kristi You made me teary-eyed. XOMarch 28, 2016 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

  • tanya - I have these thoughts sometimes. Wondering how my son will be when he grows up. You are doing a great job as a parent 🙂March 29, 2016 – 2:38 pmReplyCancel

“Hey buddy, this’ll be a fun homework assignment,” I said. “You get to write a story!” “That’s not really fun,” he said. “I like Minecraft.” “Well, what if you write a story about Minecraft then?” “No thanks,” he said. “But you have to do your homework,” I said, trying to sound cheerful while wondering what’s […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Allie - Homework and Minecraft – I swear, that’s all Cammy and I talk about! And why are our young children having to write so much and do so much homework!?!!!!?!!!?!!!!!?!!! I’m with Janine – I get very fire up about this! You are not alone and it is not a delayed (only) issue. This is freakign ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry. I get upset – and I’ll tell you why/more later. Peace, love, out.March 17, 2016 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I look forward to you telling me more about why you get fired up about homework. It really is a pain in the butt though. And really, they sit there ALL DAY and work and work – do we really need to do more at home? Maybe but sheesh. xoMarch 18, 2016 – 5:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Listwa - OH, Kristi, that struggle with handwriting and how it’s so hard? The hours in OT struggling to improve? I swear you’ve been at our kitchen table at night. It really IS so hard for them, especially when there is so much great stuff in their little heads and it’s so difficult to make their bodies translate it. Know what I mean? Sometimes I think I’m Superwoman for not losing my mind when we spend an hour doing what should really only take 20 minutes.
    But we keep at it.March 18, 2016 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YES Lisa! I know exactly what you mean!! It really is so hard for them and I just can’t stand watching him struggle so much. But, he’s also made so many strides and I know they have happened because of struggling through. Still though, I see nothing wrong with writing the words to the middle for him. That’s a LOT of writing. Here’s to keeping at it, sister.March 18, 2016 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Vidya Sury - How incredibly sweet, Kristi! Tucker is such a champ. Hugs! And I caught each one of your mind daggers and gave them a little hug and kiss and boomeranged them back to you with good juju!

    Homework is hard for everyone, including the parents simply because one would rather be doing something else! I remember so well those days when my son would sit at his little desk, pencil in hand, with that crazy look of concentration. He had a load of homework even in kindergarten.

    You ARE Superwoman! And I am happy to be your co-superwoman today!March 18, 2016 – 3:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Vidya and thank you for co-hosting with me again this week! Tucker really is a champ. He blows my mind daily 🙂
      Thank you (and tee hee) to you having caught my mind daggers, hugging them, and sending them back with good juju. 😀
      That crazy look of concentration they get – wow. It’s really something isn’t it? They’re so young, and so old…March 18, 2016 – 5:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Ugh to homework! The kids sit still and work all day – the last thing they want to do in the evening is homework. And, the last thing I want to do is fight with them about it. Good for Tucker – his story is awesome – & good for mama sticking with it!March 18, 2016 – 9:16 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree that the last thing I want to do is to fight about getting homework done, Lisa!March 18, 2016 – 5:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Every week, like clockwork, we wait until Thursday night to even look at the weekly homework due on Friday.
    This was the first week Scarlet asked to do it on Tuesday. What the what? And the first time I sat with her and did it with her start to finish.
    I needed a cape for it!March 18, 2016 – 10:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That’s awesome she wanted to do it on Tuesday AND that you sat and did all of it with her, Tamara!March 18, 2016 – 5:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Good job mama!

    I giggled at, “Fine”, that is universal. Christopher just said it when I helped him divide up sections of something he wrote and has to memorize, suggesting how he should learn “this much” every day. “Fiiiiiine.”

    It seriously takes a superwoman to have patience when it comes to homework. I have lost my temper over homework and we’ve both had to take timeouts SEVERAL times over the years. I’m ashamed to admit I yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR?” We’ve apologized and we’ve bounced back. It’s normal. At least I hope it is.March 18, 2016 – 11:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL “Fine” is universal isn’t it? It’s way too easy to lose a temper over homework I think. I do it and UGH when they cry? I’ve gotten annoyed by that too sadly. I think it’s got something to do with that if they just did it, they’d be done but instead we have to fight about it and listen to whining for longer than it would just take, ya know? I think it is normal. It must be. Thanks, Kenya!March 18, 2016 – 5:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Oh Kristi, you are so kind and wise and Tucker is so lucky to have you as his mom. I fail constantly (I have a new story I might write about some day soon but am not ready yet–another failure on my part!) BUT as far as you are concerned, I wish I had as much patience in my little finger nail as you do with your son. And one other note, writing was very hard for Lindsey because of her tremors and I know it is hard for Tucker for different reasons. Has the school considered allowing him to write on a computer keyboard? Maybe you are not wanting him to do it that way quite yet, but when the school suggested a keyboard for Lindsey, it really helped. (Not totally in her case, but still it was better than her shaky handwriting). Believe me, Tucker’s writing is a thousand times clearer than Lindsey’s. Anyway, just a thought and it may come up in the future. For right now, yay Tucker for getting his story done. It is an awesome story.

    p.s. I am so sad that you felt you had to throw away your paper for only one wrong problem. I guess that is the burden of us over-achievers, huh? Your mom sounds awesome as well. Hugs to you.March 18, 2016 – 4:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Linda! YOU are so kind and honestly I fail frequently as well. Like, a LOT. He gets way too much time on the iPad for sure. Sigh. We haven’t talked about the keyboard idea yet, mostly because he’s making so much progress. It just doesn’t come naturally to him at all. Like for “h” and n” and letters with the little leg? He adds those in after. Anyway, yes, YAY for him getting his story done! And yeah, the burden of over-achievers. It makes me sad I threw it away too. I’m glad my mom went and got it though. Hugs right back!March 18, 2016 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Oh boby. Sorry it is such a struggle for him. Must be hard, so hard as a parent, to watch that struggle. I am surprised more of us don’t have more headaches because of all the stress there is to cope with.
    Super amazed at how you guys make it better for him, as I know you do, am just learning as I read more about your family.
    So many stories, as I wish I could get back that childhood imagination, but getting it all out is where the struggle resides.
    I feel for the kids who, forever reason or none at all, miss a question on a test and don’t have an understanding mother like you had. So much pressure. So many parent expectations placed on children and it frankly makes me mad when I hear about it, but I don’t have kids of my own and can’t help everyone. I just know the struggles I went through and wish I could make it all better for every child that has a hard time of it.March 18, 2016 – 4:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I wish I could make it better for all of the kids too Kerry and you’re right – the pressure some parents put on their kids is horrifying. At Tucker’s kindergarten orientation, there was a group of parents who were mad because they wanted their kids in the gifted program. I was like “just let them be five years old!” Ugh. But yes, I was lucky my mom was so loving and supportive about it and so hope to continue doing that for my own son. Nobody has asked me about my grades since I applied for college!March 18, 2016 – 5:57 pmReplyCancel

      • Kerry - I wanted to share something with you Kristi. This is a song that reminds me of when I was that scared little girl who felt stupid and under constant pressure to do better. I don’t blame any one person for that. I was sick and nobody knew how serious it was, but I remember never feeling good enough. Now I can hardly get through this song without tearing up, but thought you might understand.

        March 20, 2016 – 3:22 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Kerry, thank you thank you. Alanis is amazing for sure, and I really REALLY appreciate you sharing this video. I think I understand. I hope I do anyway, and please never feel like you’re never good enough. Because you are. Exactly as you are today, right now.March 20, 2016 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Ugh, I do not miss those HW-helping days at all. But good for you and good for Tucker for hanging in there and doing a good enough job, which IS good enough. I know it’s hard to imagine now, but there will come a day when you stop helping with homework and you won’t even know what his homework assignments are! Truly! I am completely and blissfully unaware of my boys’ homework and even when I occasionally try to check-in/butt-in and see what they are doing, they have no interest in letting me know because they are on top of it, well, at least most of the time. 🙂March 18, 2016 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily thank you and I look forward to the day. Or, well, I don’t, too, you know? I mean gah, the time passes too quickly. So often, I wish I had Tucker earlier in life but then well, maybe he wouldn’t be Tucker so I don’t, too, you know? 🙂March 18, 2016 – 11:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - One of the perks of teenagers – I don’t help with homework anymore! Only on the rare occasion, because learning how to study is not something that comes easily, to any kid.

    I know Tucker has challenges on top of the typical homework challenges, and I know you have to be even more patient and creative to help him approach homework in a way that will encourage learning. It’s an uphill battle, but you can do it. You have mind daggers. 😉March 21, 2016 – 3:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Boo yah to mind daggers 😉
      Part of me will be sad when I no longer help with homework. How lamo is that?March 21, 2016 – 7:41 pmReplyCancel

It’s been a few years since I sponge-painted one of the walls in our downstairs bathroom. Tonight, I sit on the toilet to pee and notice, for the first time, that the sponge patterns have left a row of tiny faces next to the door jam. I look at them. They look back, mocking me. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Don - Oh dear, are you losing your mind??? Lol. Those paint faces are always dickwads, so ignore them. You rock as a mom and person. ❤️❤️❤️March 10, 2016 – 10:59 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mind? Long fucking gone. Those faces are dickwads for sure, thanks for the reminder. Loving the three hearts. You musta gotten softer after your BLL torso tats I gifted you.March 10, 2016 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - So good. Just so, so, so good! We all get in our own way, too damn much! <3March 10, 2016 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - We all get in our own way at one time or another. At least, I know I do it.
    This answer to the sentence was staring you right in the face, but I like how you wait until the “last minute” to write your FTSF post, as you keep saying, as it seems to present things in just the right way for you. This makes your posts so real.
    I felt for your son and “drss” when I red this as I am thinking back a lot to twenty years ago, this time, when I was ill and hadn’t been diagnosed with the kidney disease that was messing with my concentration, but of which was making math homework a living hell for me to have to even attempt.
    For me it was math and still is. For some kids it’s spelling. Homework. Yuck!March 11, 2016 – 12:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Kerry. I sometimes wonder if I wait until the last minute because then I “have to” write if that makes sense. I’ve been thinking about this sentence for a few days and really had no idea what to talk about. Thanks for reading. I’m sorry that you relate to Tucker’s “drss” – that must’ve been so hard to try and concentrate on math when your kidneys weren’t healthy! Homework Yuck! Indeed! Hope you link up this week!March 11, 2016 – 1:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww so sweet. But pee in front of a mirror next time. Look at yourself and see that you are a great mom!March 11, 2016 – 5:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Do I want to see myself peeing? Um. Probably not. But maybe better than the tiny faces.March 11, 2016 – 7:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Wow. You know you’re WAY too hard on your self, right? You are. I’ve always known that, but now that I’m working outside the home (and so many of us are:)), I believe it more firmly. P)lease, please, give your self a break. There are only so many hours in the day, blah, blah, blah. Stencil this over those dots: ““He’ll be fine,” they say. “We all are, or enough, anyway,” they said.”March 11, 2016 – 6:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I do know that I’m way too hard on myself, which is why I wrote it… the voices inside of us… I think I’ll make speech bubbles above their heads.March 11, 2016 – 9:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I love ( and kind of hate) that we both said we are our own kryptonite! Why do we do that to ourselves??? I think you are an awesome mom and an awesome person! You know what I think this post will (should?) do for the two of us? The next time I have those thoughts, I’m going to remember that you have those thoughts and how ridiculous I think it is that you would be so hard on yourself and, hopefully, remember that it is pretty ridiculous for me to be so hard on myself, too. XOXOMarch 11, 2016 – 9:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
      I love (and kinda hate) that we said we’re our own kryptonite. But we are, right? It’s ourselves who are in the way, and deal. Next time you feel like that, think about my kryptonite chasing after me in the car and I’ll think about you and yours.
      Here’s to being proud of ourselves.March 11, 2016 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - You know that I completely understand this because I have always been my own worst enemy. My own kryptonite, so to speak.March 11, 2016 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know. It’s why we drink whiskey from a jar and ride the lightening when we can. Link up? I’d love to read yours. No pressure. Because no pressure ever. xoMarch 11, 2016 – 9:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, I feel so sorry to see that you struggle with these self-doubts, but also very pleased to see you also have kryptonite to make you stronger! It’s so sad how many of us beat ourselves up, and I see a few people saying they’ve written similar posts.

    You are enough.March 11, 2016 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Yvonne. Here’s to embracing the kryptonite that makes us stronger and to flipping off the ones that we throw out of car windows who chase us and stick. I appreciate it. You.March 11, 2016 – 9:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Good post, Kristi! Very cool that we got to spend time in the bathroom with you *heart* 🙂 We all get frustrated and that we should do more, didn’t do enough…and beat ourselves up over that. I’m notorious for that myself. It accomplishes nothing in the end. I second what Don says about you as a mom and a person. You know I always have since I met you 🙂 Btw…Golden Retrievers are my kryptonite…March 11, 2016 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Mike! SO good to see you here. It’s way too easy to beat ourselves up, isn’t it? Sigh. Here’s to not doing so. And to Golden Retrievers. <3March 12, 2016 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I hadn’t really thought about it, but after reading this (which was awesome, btw), I realized that I’m my own kryptonite too. And my own worst critic.

    The sentence about throwing your kryptonite out the window and reattaching to the car bumper…that was my favorite. Perfect imagery, Kristi.March 12, 2016 – 11:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Dana! Let’s try to be kinder to ourselves.
      And that sentence about throwing my kryptonite out the window is my favorite one too.March 12, 2016 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison Barrett Carter - This is so real and true and beautifully written. I feel like I am my own worst enemy, too, my own personal weakness. I am glad you made friends with the model and I am glad you share with us. Your weakness may seem like a kryptonite to you, but sharing it makes you a superhero.March 12, 2016 – 3:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Allison! I missed you and am glad you’re back. Thank you so much – here’s to not being our own enemies. Truly.March 12, 2016 – 8:52 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - You know why I love you?
    …because we can all identify w/ you, my lovely girl.
    all. of. us.

    I’d love to have wine w/ you one day! xxMarch 13, 2016 – 2:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I can relate so well to this, Kristi, because…well, when you read mine, you’ll know. You probably already know because we’ve talked about it, I’m sure. I sometimes wonder if people who struggle with feeling like they’re doing it well are the ones who are really conscientious about balance, etc. Maybe that’s why we think about it? If we didn’t care so much, we’d just blow it off. I think you, my friend, are doing a bang-up job of it – all of it. So often you are one of the first two people two of three people I call when I’m wondering if I’m doing this parenting of the exceptional child thing right. I really can’t wait until we can sit and shoot the shit together in person one day.March 13, 2016 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Read yours and yeah, I know. It makes me both sad and seen that so many of us have the kryptonite as ourselves. I think that the people who think about it are “better” which sounds douchy but I believe that. I think that those who write it and share it are trying to change the world, and that matters to me. Huge. Also, please yes to shooting the shit together one day.March 13, 2016 – 10:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Josie Two Shoes - This was an amazingly powerful post, absolutely on point, Kristi! I loved the way you used the paint splotch “faces” to tie the facets of this piece together. Just excellent!March 15, 2016 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

I look at moments that changed my future and I wish I’d known that everything will be fine. “Something’s wrong,” she whispered. It was 2am. I pulled my pillow closer to my ear; adjusted another over my eyes – but not my nose – because a pillow nest needs to be just so. I drifted, soclose […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kerry - The part about going for a walk with your son and the sun is my favourite part. Yours is a wonderful lesson, no matter the unique circumstances we all face, that things will be okay. I am so glad it is okay and even better than that, for you.March 3, 2016 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Kerry. It’s good to remember that life happens, and when it feels like nothing will ever be okay, five years is such a huge difference and things are mostly okay. I know that’s not always the case, but so far, it has been for me (knock on wood).March 3, 2016 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - What a perfect last line! I feel like I could have written SO MUCH of what you describe here – the emotions, the worry are spot on…but can we just talk about that friggin’ teacher here? WTF? She TAPED the note back together and then asked you about adoption?!? I would have done the same thing as your dad and tried to get her fired. Most teachers are wonderful, but those bad eggs…ugh.March 4, 2016 – 9:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      I know. That teacher was SUCH a %$#@&^%%@ poop-head. Like, it still blows me away and it happened how many years ago? I get all angry and upset even remembering how horrible and embarrassing it was!March 4, 2016 – 11:39 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Thanks for the shout out!

    Your title and the way I closed my post definitely have the same theme/sentiment.

    I like the way you went back and forth in time.

    That lady that called you into the office reminds me of the one that called me the office to say that I should be thankful to go to that school because my parents didn’t pay the same other parents. Witch! I actually drew her as a witch in art class but no one knew it was her but me. Mrs. Andrews. Ugh. I can’t call her out on your blog but I wouldn’t do it on mine. I wish I had known that she should talk to me like that and had told someone.March 4, 2016 – 11:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
      UGH to mean witch Mrs. Andrews! My teacher was Ms. Haney. They suck. I love that you drew her as a witch but nobody knew except you. She deserved to be drawn as a witch! So did Ms. Haney. And you’re so welcome for the shout-out. I’ll post on FB too when I get the book in the mail!March 4, 2016 – 4:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - That teacher was HORRIBLE. Poor young Kristi. But thumb dogs who fart…those sound awesome. And to think I have two and didn’t even know it!

    You know how we’ve often said we wouldn’t go back and change things because that might change who and where we are right now? This post reminded me that if I could change things, it would be to tell Past Me that things would be okay.March 4, 2016 – 3:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, that teacher suckity suck sucked. Try the thumb dog farting trick. I bet your kids would still laugh. Maybe Matt, too. 🙂
      And yeah, I guess that’s all I would tell myself too. That and to buy Apple stock.March 4, 2016 – 4:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele - Farting thumb puppy has a way of putting it all into perspective, doesn’t it? I’m so glad that you feel good about today.March 4, 2016 – 4:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Farting thumb puppy is awesome, Michele. For real one of the imaginative games that I can actually for-real laugh while playing.March 4, 2016 – 8:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - It’s been a tough couple of weeks around here and I needed the reminder that everything will be fine. A few years from now, I’ll probably look back enthuse weeks and wonder why I was so stressed out about it all!!!

    And, thumb farts – Ha!!! 🙂March 4, 2016 – 5:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa, I know it’s been a rough couple of weeks and I’m so sorry… everything WILL (eventually, perhaps painfully) be fine. Hugs to you, friend.March 4, 2016 – 10:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - It’s always so interesting when I’m in a crisis or grieving period, and I logically know everything will be ok, but it feels impossible to get from Point A to Point B. What happens in between the points? A LOT of growth.
    Everything will be fine You know.. XOXOMarch 4, 2016 – 8:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It so feels impossible when we’re in it. I guess that’s the forest through the trees saying or something like it… So much growth though. xo SW.March 4, 2016 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Leanne Russell - Hi Kristi,
    I’m not sure if this is the procedure for posting the Finish the sentence Friday. I hope what I’ve done works. Let me know if there is a problem.
    Cheers LeanneMarch 5, 2016 – 8:22 amReplyCancel

  • Bev - It’s so hard to know, sometimes, when things are going to be ok and when they aren’t, because you haven’t yet lived through them. (As a type that out, I realize how obvious that is and totally not insightful, haha.) Anyway, my point is in the moment it’s so hard not to worry and feel like our world it falling apart because we just don’t know how things are going to turn out. But then, if we knew, what would be the point of experiencing life? They suck in the moment, but the make us stronger, I suppose.March 5, 2016 – 3:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I suppose they really do make us stronger. Or wiser. Or something like that. Thanks, Bev!March 6, 2016 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi, I am irrationally angry at that teacher! How dare she? I mean, really!?!?! Love the thumb puppet story. Perfect post. I truly had planned on linking up – but now I’m sick. Don’t give up on me:). Love and miss you! AMarch 6, 2016 – 8:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Love and miss you, Allie! So sorry to read that you’re sick. Ugh. Hope you feel better soon. Let’s catch up this week?March 6, 2016 – 12:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Aaah Kristi this filled me with happiness. (Except for that awful teacher! WTF?!?!)
    Fave line ever: “…the sun seemed kinder.” You’re amazing <3March 6, 2016 – 10:40 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I read this days ago – I swore I left you a comment. This, as always, is beautiful. It would sometimes be very good to know that everything will turn out OK. It would make putting up with the suckiness so much more bearable. But then I suppose we wouldn’t get the benefit of the experience or the life lesson or the makes us stronger part. Right?
    Reminds me of an Emily Dickinson poem where she talks about how she could wait forever for her love if she knew how long forever would be, basically. Clearly, a universal idea.March 7, 2016 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks so much Lisa. And yeah, I think the suckiness does make us stronger. At least I hope so. Knowing how long forever would be – I like that.March 8, 2016 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Nina - Perfect end: “That it has been, all along.”March 8, 2016 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Yes, if we only knew—it sure would take a lot of useless worry out of the equation of life. This is a beautiful post Kristi. Right now, I’d like to know that it will all be okay in the end. I’m sure it will. I hope it will. But those damn little voices….March 18, 2016 – 4:30 pmReplyCancel

As we sat around the dinner table tonight, I paused and looked at my little boy, who is – in his mind, a big boy – but remains little in mine because being six can’t yet be big. I also see that he’s no longer little-little. As I watched him open the straw for his […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Tamara - I don’t think you stopped looking good ever!
    As for notes in lunches, my mom did it occasionally in high school, I kid you not. I think I needed that inspiration even though I bought lunch a lot.February 25, 2016 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw you’re the sweetest ever. For real. And yay for notes in lunches in high school!February 26, 2016 – 3:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Oh, Kristi I can’t believe that you had nothing just hours before writing this gem of a post. It’s lovely. I’m delighted to learn how well your lad is doing. And yes, I look in the mirror and am shocked by my chin. How did that happen? Lord above. I’m not 36 anymore? Ha! Farrrr from it.
    On another note, I got to hold my niece’s 26 hour-old daughter today. Wow. That was wonderful. I’d forgotten how tiny the feet are. And the ears! And the nose. So cute. So vulnerable. So sturdy.February 25, 2016 – 11:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You are so so kind Kelly! Sometimes, waiting until the last second helps. Often though it doesn’t. I really need to get better about doing these sentence things in advance!
      Awwww to holding your niece’s daughter. 26-hours old? Precious. Did you smell the baby’s head? I miss that smell…February 26, 2016 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I really hate when you say you have nothing and then spew gorgeousness like this…all the freaking time. 😀
    Oh looking in the mirror and wondering how my mother got there (or some days my grandmother) is something I do often. And I can’t tell you how many days, especially in the last year, I have looked at Zilla and wondered “when did you stop being a baby kid and start being a kid-kid?” She is growing so fast in so many ways and it’s so much fun and so exciting and also so very terrifying.
    My mom used to put lunchbox notes in my lunch. We do it with Zilla, too. And every now and then when I pack a lunch and take it to my Mom, I pop a note in hers, too. 😉
    Well. That all said I have zero on my post for this and I really should get to it.February 26, 2016 – 12:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hey Lisa,
      Well thank you thank you thank you! Although, I have to admit that it often doesn’t work to wait until the last minute. I had one recently (last week??) that was kinda a flop because of my procrastination. I’m glad you like this one though – that means a lot to me, thank you.
      I know what you mean about wondering when the baby kid disappeared. Sob. That’s so cool that you put notes in Zilla’s lunches AND your moms! Awesome. I can’t wait to read your Finish the Sentence post. It’ll be fabulous as always.February 26, 2016 – 3:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi!!!! I adored that picture if you. And I’m a little freaked about the hamster in the freeze!? And wrinkles, oh dear. I stress so much about it. And I’m thinking I might do something, and i feel so vain to be even considering doing anything. I want to age gracefully, but I’m to insecure to do so…February 26, 2016 – 7:13 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie Allie! Yeah, I’m a little freaked out about the hamster in the freezer too. It’s been too wet for a proper funeral outside. Maybe this weekend. And yeah, I’ve done a couple of things for the wrinkles and am considering the surgery for real. Vain, I know but UGH. Sigh.February 26, 2016 – 3:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - If you’ve never listened to a blog post out loud you’ve gotta try it. I only do that with a few people who I know what they sound like because I can hear you reading it – not the Siri-ish voice. Anyway walking down the street I laughed out loud a couple times starting with the juice box. You and the Siri-ish voice are funny. I related in the teary eyed fact because I did the same thing with Christopher asking to eat a frozen dinner then following the microwave directions to a tee. (Current age) Lol! Loved this post. Replying on foot with numb thumb and cold hand.February 26, 2016 – 9:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ve been meaning to listen to blog posts but never end up doing it. I need to. I bet I’d like yours out loud. Awww to the teary eyes over Christopher following the directions so well with his micro-meal. How does the time go so so quickly?February 26, 2016 – 3:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - You’ve made me see my wrinkles in a whole new light, so thank you for that, although I do still hate them.:) And, I love how you draw on T’s napkins and have passed that cute tradition down to him – very sweet.February 26, 2016 – 10:21 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well I still hate my wrinkles too… sigh. I hope T likes the napkin drawings. He never says anything about them. I should ask him if he likes them!February 26, 2016 – 3:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Loved this line: She’s finally old enough to know what she doesn’t know. The older I get the more I realize how little I do know and it was weird the first time I had that revelation. Also, I know you are glad Tucker invited a friend home to see his new pet. When I was his age, apparently I invited most of the kids from my class to come to my birthday party. It wasn’t my birthday. There wasn’t a party. But I wanted there to be a party. The invite didn’t go over well with my mother when about 7 kids stepped off the bus with me.

    I love the napkin drawing idea although I never did it. I wish I would’ve though. I did put notes on occasion in my husbands lunch…but what a grand idea for Tucker (and for you when you were a child).

    Happy Friday Kristi.February 26, 2016 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda, it really IS a weird feeling to realize how little we actually know. I love that you told a bunch of kids to come for your birthday party when it wasn’t your birthday and there was no party! That’s plain old awesome.
      I don’t think I’d have ever thought to include notes on his napkins if my mom hadn’t done it for me… thanks!February 26, 2016 – 3:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Love this so much!!!! Yes to being old enough to know what we don’t know. And, 15 years ugh! 15 year from now, my oldest will be 28!!!!! When I was 28 I had my second kid. 😳February 26, 2016 – 12:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Lisa! And yeah, knowing what we don’t know is pretty huge I guess. Also GULP to 15 years and your oldest being 28. It’s so hard to imagine, isn’t it?February 26, 2016 – 3:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - This is a sweet and wise post. It must be the greatest thing in the world to watch a child you created grow and learn. I see it in my niece and nephews, but it’s not quite the same I reckon.
    Glad he is doing so well and that he knows to look both ways before crossing a street.
    🙂
    Great prompt this week. Working on mine now, since I missed out on last week.
    🙂February 26, 2016 – 2:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OOH I look forward to reading yours for this week’s prompt, Kerry! I really liked it too. And it really is the greatest thing – watching him grow and learn. Sometimes, I just wish it happened more slowly ya know?February 26, 2016 – 3:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - I know. My little nephew starts JK this fall and none of us here can believe that.
    He’s still just so little and it’s almost impossible to imagine him going off to school on the bus every morning and being gone all day. My sister tears up when she has to face that fact, even just a little, and I felt the same when I went with her to drop off some of his registration papers the other day, at the school she and I attended as kids. He was sleeping, in his seat in the back of the car, but I was already picturing school plays and I wanted to run and hide and yet I can’t wait to one day see him in those performances.
    🙂
    So many feelings.February 26, 2016 – 4:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh school plays and recitals and EVERYTHING like that always makes me cry. I’m pretty much a marshmallow. Also marshmallow is spelled weird I think. I always want to type an “e” rather than an “a.” I’ll bet your nephew is adorable.February 26, 2016 – 5:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Mo at Mocadeaux - I vividly remember that feeling of leaving the hospital with your baby thinking “how could these people send me home and trust me to care for this little person?” I was lucky enough to be at my daughter’s when she took her baby home from the hospital. I was able to reassure her that everything was going to be ok. “You’ve got this.” And she does.February 26, 2016 – 6:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s terrifying and exhilarating leaving the hospital. So surreal. I’m so glad that you got to be there when your daughter took her baby home. Love it.February 27, 2016 – 1:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - This is one of the most exquisite things I’ve ever read! I so love the time shifts between you and Tucker and then and now. So evocative. The dead hamster, the new guinea pig, the wrinkle cream (have you found a good one? I’m searching too!), and that pic of you oh! Heart squeezes. <3February 27, 2016 – 1:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks Nix! I just saw you linked up. Can’t wait to read it. This post is an editor’s pick on Discover from WordPress today! I’m so excited!
      Regarding eye creams, I use this Pro Heal vitamin C oil, Dermalogica’s skin smoothing cream and this Youth thing. I don’t know that they work though. I have wrinkles. But I’m old, too… so there’s that. Gah.February 27, 2016 – 1:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Your last graphic says it all. Better here and with wrinkles than not here.

    But if you find a great eye cream, please share it with me.February 27, 2016 – 1:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Maya - As I tell my mother and remind myself in the mirror everyday, cherish every wrinkle, you worked very, very hard for them. They show how you endured and still survived to grow stronger and wiser. They make you more beautiful to those that can see past the first layer.February 27, 2016 – 5:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I like that idea Maya – that we worked very very hard for each wrinkle. Here’s to the true beauty beneath the first layer. Thank you.February 28, 2016 – 5:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Steve Auguste - I appreciate your genuineness and your word “himness”! I also enjoy how precious you make your son! I feel the same way about my son who’s 3 years old. I call him “Grandpa” because he acts like an old man. He usually gets undressed (takes off socks and shoes) as he sits at the back of his school bus. He’s working on putting the straw into the juice container though.February 28, 2016 – 12:01 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Steve! How cute that you call your son Grandpa! And the straw into the juice box thing? It’ll happen. Really. 🙂February 28, 2016 – 5:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Eve - I loved this post, you could have written what I am often thinking. So beautifully written.February 28, 2016 – 9:47 amReplyCancel

  • Nathan - Absolutely love this post. Hits home and rings true!February 28, 2016 – 4:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb - Wow, I cried and cried over this post. Beautiful.February 29, 2016 – 10:43 amReplyCancel

  • Karna Tecla - Hold fast to those little memories and moments because they happen way too fast. My boys are going to be 30 and 32 this year. When we moved last year, I didn’t have time to go through the boxes of collected “important” stuff from their childhood: I think I saved every project and paper they did. I held my mother’s belief that they might want to go through the stuff at some point in their lives, and that it should be their responsibility to throw what they didn’t want away. I am finding that it doesn’t work that way. I took a picture of the “Lego” shield that I created to go on one of his Halloween costumes when he was a kid. I texted him a picture and asked him if he wanted it. I was taken aback when his response was “NO!”

    My response is to photograph the “important” stuff and make a digital photo album for each of them.February 29, 2016 – 12:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh no! He didn’t want the Lego shield? Boys. I love the idea of taking photos of all the important stuff and making a digital album. I take photos of my son’s school projects too (the ones that I can stand to toss that is!).March 1, 2016 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Kristy,

    you don’t only write for yourself…
    You write for all humanity.

    xxx kiss from MN.February 29, 2016 – 9:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura Emm - I get the way one second you were a six year old girl, and then suddenly your son turned six! My twins start school in September and I feel the excitement for what they’ll become and achieve, conflicting with the fear of the years to come going just as fast as the ones that have gone by in what feels like the blink of an eye. You’ve described perfectly how most of us fellow parents feel about this xMarch 2, 2016 – 1:50 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Laura,
    Oh the time, it goes so so fast, right? Here’s to your twins ROCKING school, and you rolling with the time and seeing the growth and the moments as they happen (and not grieving them too much).March 3, 2016 – 12:27 amReplyCancel

  • Ellen Faye - Wow. This is the best post 😢 I cried. Our appearance may get old but or hearts will never be. ❤️March 4, 2016 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you thank you!!! It’s so true. Our hearts stay the same, don’t they? A little wiser maybe but still. <3March 24, 2016 – 8:25 pmReplyCancel

Ok I love Ellen. She’s amazing, she’s fabulous and here’s a video of her having a teen with autism on her show. Sharing without writing because well, this is amazing. Ellen is awesome.

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - This is great. Better than great. It is awesome. Thanks so much for sharing because now I can share it too!February 23, 2016 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY for sharing. I thought “what a dumb blog post, as I’m not even writing but OMG awesome” so did. thanks you. 🙂February 23, 2016 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - Please let me always be the kind of person that knows everyone has potential and is worthy of my respect. Awesome people… Both of them.February 24, 2016 – 4:14 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Crying some happy tears into my coffee right now…so glad you shared!February 24, 2016 – 6:54 amReplyCancel

  • jenn - There are amazing people out there and you made me cry before 7am.February 24, 2016 – 7:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Gah me too and THIS IS WHAT YOU COMMENT ON AFTER A YEAR (wait was I shouting)? xxFebruary 24, 2016 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG JENN I am SO SO SOSO SORRY, I thought you were my business partner Jen Kehl, SO SO SOO Sorry was trying to be funny!!! I stiink for real. I’m really sorry!!February 24, 2016 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Dude, I a balling mess – and I’m off to works are red-eyed. But it was worth it!February 24, 2016 – 8:42 amReplyCancel

  • Kimmie - OMG! This is AMAZING. I found myself clapping (through tears) along with the audience. Beautiful share!February 25, 2016 – 12:42 pmReplyCancel

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