Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

The night before my sixth birthday, I stood barefoot on our front porch in my nightie as the sun began its descent. “Everything will change tomorrow,” I thought. “You’re not one of the little kids anymore. Six means being a big kid.” I suppose that in many ways, I was right. Six, after all, brought […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kristi - Oh, what a beautiful tribute to Tucker, and to the wonderful world of 6! Happy, happy birthday–to birthday boy, and Mom, too!July 12, 2015 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - He speaks very well. I’m not sure what I expected but he’s obviously exceeded what you were told he would be capable of. He’s delightful. And so are you. And how the heck did you know what a blow job was when you were in grade 3? I thought I was scandalous.July 13, 2015 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandra, he’s doing SO GREAT. Seriously. Just three years ago he called water “ah” and now, well, something clicked for him. And yeah, in third grade, a boy named Brandon told me what a BJ was and then I asked my dad if it was true – while my dad was driving. Poor guy, it’s a wonder we didn’t run off the road!July 13, 2015 – 4:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Vanessa D. - I remember 6 as being the year all traces of pre-schooler vanished and suddenly I had little boys instead. Tucker looks as if he has gone and done the same thing to you.July 13, 2015 – 6:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Vanessa,
      He so has! While he’s amazing as a little boy, part of me misses baby-him and preschooler-him!July 13, 2015 – 4:46 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - YAY TUCKER! WOW I cannot believe the vid… so cool… total sentence and total “ME!” I love that! I also love that you do roller coasters and would shoot the moon if he wanted to!
    NOW … Its about time you recognized my stature! I mean , cmon… Im 52… Tucker was six when he got his!July 13, 2015 – 6:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know! He’s awesome!! And okay okay, I recognize your stature. What do I need to do now?July 13, 2015 – 4:52 pmReplyCancel

      • ivy - oh, nuthin’. recognition is enough… Tucker is the real star!July 13, 2015 – 4:55 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I RECOGNIZE! And blew you a kiss, too. Because you’re one excellent weeniebutt.July 13, 2015 – 4:57 pmReplyCancel

          • ivy - 3
            is there a butt emoji?cuz yknow… thats just a three.July 13, 2015 – 4:59 pm

          • Kristi Campbell - Ivy what about this:
            (_._)July 13, 2015 – 6:06 pm

  • Janine Huldie - Happy 6th Birthday to Tucker!! Emma is right behind him on Friday now and seriously just can’t believe it. We had her birthday party with her school friends this past weekend and was raging with all sorts of emotions, too. I just can’t believe how grown up our kids are getting and time is most definitely flying right by us.July 13, 2015 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t believe it either, Janine! What will you do for Emma’s party? I hope it’s awesome!!! And yeah, I can’t believe how grown up they’re getting either. I wish I were younger – I’d have another baby! 😉July 13, 2015 – 4:54 pmReplyCancel

      • Janine Huldie - We had her school/friends’ party this past Saturday at a Chocolate place local here. They made chocolate lollipops and fondue. She had a blast and was in her glory. But now Friday is for us and the grandparents. And I hear you on having more, but at this point I am too old and tired, too!!July 13, 2015 – 5:08 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - OOOH fun to the Chocolate place! That sounds fabulous! Sounds like we’re doing the same things – an early party with friends and then a family birthday with grandparents. Perfect. And yeah, hear you on old and tired!July 13, 2015 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine - While this was beautiful and all, I can’t get past the bubble show. We were just at Dollywood in April, and there most certainly was NOT a bubble show to see! We would have loved that!
    Six is big. So is 10. And 13. And 16. So many big numbers to reach. I am astounded each time one of my kids reaches one. I’ll have kids turning 6 and 13 and 17 in the next month. It’s almost painful. And awesome.July 13, 2015 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Really? No bubble show? Oh that’s a bummer!! If you ever see it happening, please go. You’ll LOVE it. Seriously it was incredible! Maybe he travels around different cities? Anyway, sorry that you missed it. Also yeah, almost painful but awesome too.July 13, 2015 – 4:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - Happy birthday, Tucker! You are a daredevil with the sweetest spirit about you that I think I’ve ever seen! Enjoy 6 to the fullest!
    Dollywood was built by the same people who built Silver Dollar City, where I am. Dolly has since added her own twist (I was there once a lifetime ago, but that’s a story for another day).July 13, 2015 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Dyanne! He really is a dare devil and so sweet. xo Dollywood was so nice – clean and awesome. I’ll bet Silver Dollar City is awesome too!July 13, 2015 – 5:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Love the photos! You go brave 6-year-old!July 13, 2015 – 12:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - Happy birthday to Tucker!July 13, 2015 – 12:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Six rocks and you have rocked the past six years. As I was reading this I thought of when we first met and how freaking scared we were about our not so typical children and what it means to us as moms. Tucker has defied all of your fears (and probably created new ones) and triumphed. Thanks to you & your husband. Well, really, you…. 😉July 13, 2015 – 12:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Isn’t it amazing Kerri? We’ve all come so far. Acceptance, milestones, friendship. I can’t believe it’s been almost three years (come September, for me starting this blog). Time flies, friend! And thanks so much for seeing how much he’s rocked it!! xoJuly 13, 2015 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That sparkler video is the best EVER.
    Scarlet thinks that being seven is a big, big kid so at least we have a whole other year of having tiny children! According to Scarlet.
    I remember thinking first grade was big and scary but when my sister-in-law got a job teaching first grade several years ago I thought, “Aww! That’s SO little!”
    I just have to keep telling myself that.July 13, 2015 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tamara,
      Thinking first grade “AWW that’s so little!” helps because it IS little. It just feels big compared to my little preschool dude. Sigh. I’m going to go ahead and embrace Scarlet’s philosophy about seven too.July 13, 2015 – 5:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Oh gosh! *gasps* he is so brave!!
    There is much to be thankful for!! And, I’m still snickering imagining your dad’s reactions in both instances!July 13, 2015 – 4:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Six (last March) was an adjustment for me too. Now I’m (we’re) facing first grade and that’s terrifying to me.July 13, 2015 – 4:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - Happy belated birthday, Tucker! Six sounds magical.July 14, 2015 – 9:53 amReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - Kristi, this is just beautiful! I hope Tucker had a very happy 6th birthday! He sure looks like he did!July 14, 2015 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Aww, you’re making me wish my kids were 6 again! Well, maybe just for a day or two. 🙂 Seriously though, a very sweet post! And those rollercoaster pics – LOVE!July 14, 2015 – 4:55 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw! Thanks, Emily! And yeah. I know. I wish Tucker were two again until I don’t… xoJuly 14, 2015 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Mombo - love this post, Kristi! Tucker is so “grown-up” bless youJuly 15, 2015 – 2:49 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks Mombo! He’s so grown up. It’s kinda sad. But also beautiful. xoJuly 15, 2015 – 7:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - This post made me smile. Kristi, he looks so grown-up. I know it’s been a year since I met him – but really looks more confident. I love the ride pictures – and he is brave! Cammy rode one scary ride at Kennywood and he let me have it, and boycotted almost every ride (even at Mall of America) – and he’s going to be 8 this weekend. And, I don’t think I knew he had an older brother. You’ve inspire me. I never did a birthday post, but may just do one for Cammy.July 15, 2015 – 8:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He IS more confident and grown up and BRAVE. Gosh this kid – I can’t believe the rides he’s willing to go on. Do a birthday post for Cammy! Tucker’s birthday posts are some of my OWN favorites (don’t know about the world but it’s my blog anyway right). xoJuly 15, 2015 – 7:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - This is six
    And it makes my heart happy.
    Happy Birthday Tucker.
    You are one hell of an awesome kid man. xoxoJuly 15, 2015 – 9:08 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Just beautiful. Perfect. And I totally get every word of it, only now mine is SEVEN. Do you know how much “girl” and how little “baby” seven means? Yeah…sigh.
    Happy birthday again to both of you!July 15, 2015 – 3:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa! I feel the same way about the difference between five and six. Five was still baby…entering kindergarten and now, it’s like LITTLE KID alert! I imagine that seven is the same. And eight. And 11. And OMG. xoxoJuly 15, 2015 – 8:21 pmReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Yup, Kindergarten was fine. First grade? Not as much? Going to second??? I can’t even. Because then I start thinking about pre-teen…and teen…and college…and then I REALLY can’t even and I have to go lie down. 😀July 15, 2015 – 9:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Six looks pretty freakin’ terrific to me!July 15, 2015 – 9:20 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - I’m Six! I’m Six!
    How wonderful & fabulous & magical.
    Savor the time w/ your darling, Kristi!!
    xx love from MN.July 16, 2015 – 10:24 amReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - Happy birthday to Tucker! What a wonderful day for celebrating. Thanks for adding the post to DifferentDream.com’s Tuesday link up.July 17, 2015 – 12:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - So sweet! Love that correction, “Happy Birthday to ME!” Kudos to him and the rollercoaster. I think Christopher was six when we went to Bush Gardens. As of this year he’s ready to try again but between then and now it was, “I am NEVER riding on a rollcoaster again.” Mind you he did not get on a rollercoaster. WE did. He just got on something that made him say he wasn’t getting on a rollercoaster. Ever.July 17, 2015 – 9:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that correction, too, Kenya! LOL to Christopher getting on something that made him say that he wasn’t getting on a rollercoaster. Tucker loves them for some reason. Me, well, I’ll tolerate them to see his smiles but they’re not my favorite.July 20, 2015 – 9:21 amReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - They WERE my favorite but I’m afraid they wouldn’t be now. Different strokes for older folks.July 20, 2015 – 11:17 amReplyCancel

  • Stacey - Oh goodness, this was so sweet. My oldest turned seven on the 10th of this month. Why is it that when kids go from five to six then six to seven, it seems like they have aged more than a year?! Thomas turning six didn’t bother me as much him turning seven has, I think in part because he had to repeat kindergarten so it meant he wasn’t quite a big kid yet. 🙂 Now he is seven and going into 1st grade and I don’t like it, not at all. :July 22, 2015 – 11:05 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Stacey, you’re so right! I mean five to six and six to seven? GAH!!! I sometimes feel like I am still stuck on two because well because for a lot of reasons and I miss TWO!!!
      And yeah, I don’t like going into first grade at all either. Hugs to you. Huge, big, gigantic ones.July 22, 2015 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

Parenting a child with special needs is more similar to parenting a typical child than different. After all, each of us worry about our kids and, at times, about our parenting skills. We worry about sleep and school and bullies and wonder how our children will live life once we’ve stopped breathing. We hope that […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Sandy Ramsey - You always, always, always take me down memory lane, Kristi. I remember babysitting and my first summer job, the career I wanted and the one I ended up with, then giving it up to stay home and be mom.
    Money is nice but it’s not the end all. Not anymore.
    Wonderful words. As always.July 9, 2015 – 10:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Sandy. That’s extra kind because I posted it totally unfinished in a hurry and so tired. Anyway, I changed it and I’m still editing but appreciate your kindness!! And yeah, totally with you on the money being nice but not everything at all! xoJuly 10, 2015 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - You had some cool first jobs (except the babysitting). I was drafted for that one summer, it was good money $25 a week for a boy the same age as my brother to come over all day while his dad was at work. My brother had somebody to play with instead of bugging me so it was the easiest money made ever.

    I remember the BIlly Idol story. LOL!July 9, 2015 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I did have some cool first jobs, and just edited this to include Kentucky Fried Chicken (posted before I was done – ahhh the pressure of 10pm on Thursday nights). That’s awesome that your first babysitting gig was better than mine. I remembered one little boy locking me out of his house for HOURS. Seriously. Ugh.July 10, 2015 – 7:17 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - I was totally that kind of babysitter too! Worse, is that I let him stay at the second time to even after the parents asked me not to. And I have always wanted to be a limo driver. Although I hear it’s a really crap job!July 9, 2015 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Me too! I changed this to say that (posted before done). The limo driving was both fun and horrible. It had its moments for sure but one of them was me locking a bunch of drunk guys in the back and calling the cops on them!July 10, 2015 – 7:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I am with you on giving up the job and money for being a mom is truly the best job I could have ever gotten even in the craziest of moments I wouldn’t trade it for the world here either. 😉July 10, 2015 – 7:09 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Janine and yeah, I feel like I’d miss too much if I worked full-time. Plus, when Tucker was younger, I really wanted to spend time at school and do all of the stuff I could! Happy Friday, friend!July 10, 2015 – 7:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh how I love your stories — especially those from the 80’s and 90’s which I can so relate to. I was an incompetent babysitter too. I used to babysit for these twin boys up the street.The parents knew how incompetent I was so they’d put them to sleep before I even arrived and told me the boys wouldn’t (or rather shouldn’t) wake up the whole time. Well, one time one of them did and he was crying and I just sat there, and didn’t even go into his room, because I had NO IDEA what to do with a crying baby. Pathetic, I know…July 10, 2015 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Here’s to incompetent babysitters, Emily! Once a boy locked me out of his house for HOURS. No cell phones back then of course!!! And nah, not pathetic, I mean what would you have done? I’d have freaked out too.July 10, 2015 – 7:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I didn’t know what a BJ was until college! You savvy, caddy-shack girl.
    I was 11 when I babysat and I don’t know what those parents were thinking!July 10, 2015 – 8:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Like you didn’t even know what it was For Real? In 3rd grade, some boy named Brandon told me what it was. I think you’re luckier.July 10, 2015 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - That picture of you in the tux is just priceless! My first job out of college paid crap and I could barely pay my bills living in Boston, but it was a really good learning experience. I’ve also had my fair share of babysitting jobs over the years, from preteen until about 4 years ago. Though I do sometimes babysit fellow mom’s kids as a swap and it’s interesting to see other family’s bedtime routines now that I’m a mom!July 11, 2015 – 4:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks, Bev!!! I could barely pay my bills for years and years too. I wish we all remembered that better. I wish I had friends I could swap sitting with now!!July 11, 2015 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra - That was a ride! It’s kind of funny how, as parents we may worry about jobs for our children when they are too young to think about it, while still learning ourselves where the real value in life comes in. So much else to comment on too – KFC…the good old days. But, I’ll keep it short. Loved the visuals and craziness and I think you may want to delete this post before your son starts digging up these links. HA!July 11, 2015 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG Mardara, he’s going to totally dig up these links. Crap. And thank you.July 11, 2015 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi! I totally forgot about FTSF:(. I am in Florida – it’s a long story, one which I will write about soon. Also, I’m locked out of FB. Something happened while I was on the road and I’m in no hurry to try and get my access back. It’s kind of nice, getting lost for a while. But, I do feel very out of the loop!!!

    Last night I took the kids to a restaurant where I had my first job, but it was for my dad. I washed dishes at his Italian restaurant – by hand. It was nasty (washing by hand). It was so surreal being there.

    I hope you’re doing well. Miss you.July 12, 2015 – 8:46 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie! You’re in Florida???? I thought you were supposed to be in South Dakota right now! Hope you’re doing okay (and that everybody else is as well). That’s awesome you took the kids to the restaurant where you first worked. I’ll bet it was totally surreal. Wow. I look forward to catching up with you soon!!July 12, 2015 – 11:06 amReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - I worked at KMart. I still have my red vest and nametag. They don’t have to wear those anymore. They don’t know how lucky they are!!July 20, 2015 – 1:12 pmReplyCancel

In light of recent news, I’m re-posting something that I wrote in March of 2013. I’m making a few changes but leaving it mostly as it originally appeared. My God loves gay people. And lots of other people, too. One of the first conversations I had with my then future mother-in-law was when she told me […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Courtney - I am a Christian and I firmly believe we were created in His image. That being said, all people are created by God. What parent creates people to condemn? No one. We love. God is love and we need to accept all love. Lovely words and sentiments!March 28, 2013 – 8:26 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Courtney, so right that we need to accept all love. <3March 28, 2013 – 8:36 amReplyCancel

  • Outsmarted Mommy - Bravo! Family is family, love is love end of story. Great post!March 28, 2013 – 8:28 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Family IS family! Thanks for commenting.March 28, 2013 – 8:36 amReplyCancel

  • Allyson - Amen!March 28, 2013 – 8:47 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Said perfectly Kristy and couldn’t agree with you more on this!! And loved the pictures being clear (seriously you nailed it perfectly!!).March 28, 2013 – 8:54 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks Janine!March 28, 2013 – 9:20 amReplyCancel

  • Maura - God is love! Love this… I will shout too!March 28, 2013 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks, Maura. Maybe if we all shout, something will change…March 28, 2013 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

  • HouseTalkN - AMEN! I love this. Thank you.
    Years ago, in the classroom, one of my students proclaimed that she loved and would marry her bestie. A classmate informed her that she couldn’t love her friend like that. She replied, confused, “But, I do.” Couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t. Love is love.
    And, remember, “They will know we are Christians by our love.”March 28, 2013 – 9:37 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Love is love! Thanks so much for visiting and commenting.March 28, 2013 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Robin - That is what really bugs me about this whole “issue”–why it is even an “issue”. Why does anyone CARE what others do???? Who someone choses to love is NOT MY BUSINESS! Who I choose to love is and ONLY who I choose to love! My son has an amazng new wife who happened to be raised by two moms!March 28, 2013 – 10:24 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Robin, I have no idea why people care what other people do when it comes to love. It makes zero sense. Congratulations on your new daughter-in-law!March 28, 2013 – 5:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Henriette - Amen sista! One of my favorite post ever! 🙂March 28, 2013 – 10:33 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Really? Wow. Awesome. Thanks!!March 28, 2013 – 5:32 pmReplyCancel

  • littlemisswordy - Great post! I agree with you wholeheartedly. Thank you for sharing your point of view. The whole idea of forbidding a union born of love is crazy to me!

    I wrote my thoughts in my most recent post here:

    http://littlemisswordy.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/one-ring-to-rule-them-all/

    Glad to have found your blog!March 28, 2013 – 10:56 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Wow, your post is amazing. I just commented there, too. So glad we found each other.March 28, 2013 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I couldn’t have said it better! Family is Family! My sister and Bestfriend are great parents! My Aunt was an awesome Mother not only to her kids but to others. She was more of a mother to me than my own was.March 28, 2013 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth! Good parents are good parents and bad parents are bad parents. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with either one.March 28, 2013 – 5:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Ellie - Just nominated you for the Liebster Award! – http://the30ishmom.blogspot.com/2013/03/liebster-award.html

    Great post, btw!March 28, 2013 – 11:03 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Really? WOW, thank you so much! I’m so honored!March 28, 2013 – 5:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh my sista-from-another-mistah this is why I adore you!!! First, you thought about it enough to have clear pictures. Because just like race shouldn’t matter neither should your ‘orientation’. Gosh I hate that word.

    What I do not get, and will never be convinced of, is why ‘they’ think because a person is a lesibian or homosexual they do not deserve to be parents or count as a family. Yes, lets let children not be adopted, stay in foster care, be abused because that is such a better alternative.

    Family is family. Period. End of Story.

    My facebook post the other day was: If Dick Cheney and President Obama can agree on this issue does it mean that hell has frozen over or that the Supreme Court and better yet people should just wake the heck up!!!

    Love this post in case you were wondering!!!March 28, 2013 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

    • admin - I know…the word “orientation” is weird. I have no idea why the whole world can’t just judge everybody for the type of person he or she is. It’s 2013! Time to leave discrimination behind already.

      And hahah to your Facebook post! Love it! Mwah!March 28, 2013 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer P. - Yes!! Let gay people get married!!its so stupid that they can’t. I love how you said family picks you up but sometimes leaves you when you need to learn to pick yourself up.March 28, 2013 – 11:46 amReplyCancel

    • admin - I really liked that line, too, Jennifer. Thanks for noticing it.March 28, 2013 – 5:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Ah, I got me some drawings! Wait, I’m supposed to have a serious response to this heartfelt response? Oh, ok, by all means…I love that you are going to be loud. I love how you so elegantly turned this post from a conversation about religion to one about family. That is absolutely where the heart is to be found in this debate (why it’s even a debate is beyond me). There are a million other arguments FOR gay marriage, but the one about family is the most profound and beautiful. And a gay family can also exist WITHOUT kids too!March 28, 2013 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Nah, you can talk about the drawings. And crap! I forgot the picture of the family without kids! DUH.March 28, 2013 – 5:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - I like the boobies the best. And you. And everyone. I like everyone and boobies.March 28, 2013 – 12:49 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - I’m flattered that you like my boobies best. For real.March 28, 2013 – 5:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty @ Meet the Cottons - someone on my facebook recently posted: whatever floats your boat, as long as it doesn’t sink my ship. i wondered if they had posted it because of DOMA. are we really that fearful of folks who are different than us that we fight and argue to get this outlawed? i hate that we live in a society that places so much emphasis on passing laws to limit the freedom of others. aren’t there way more important things to worry about? i want to shout, just because it’s legal, doesn’t mean you have to partake! did you read my post about pork from about a week ago?

    i decided when my kids came along that i am pretty much ok with anything, because i never want their choices in life to drive a wedge between us. i just want my family to be happy and healthy.

    thanks for posting this topic!March 28, 2013 – 1:00 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Misty,
      It’s amazing how we become so much more relaxed and grateful for what we have once we have a baby. I can’t believe that there are laws that are discriminating. It makes me sick.
      And I don’t remember reading about pork, and I thought I’d seen ALL of your posts. Going back now…I must have missed one.March 28, 2013 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

  • suzie - I agree 100% love and caring is what its all about the other stuff really doesnt matterMarch 28, 2013 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Suzie! Agree. And thank you.March 28, 2013 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie DeNeen - I wonder if we compiled all the blog posts on this topic, how many there’d be? Loved the photo, loved the message, loved the love. 🙂March 28, 2013 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - And here I thought I was being original. There are some amazing posts going around about this. Including yours, which I loved.March 28, 2013 – 5:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - AWESOME! I couldn’t of said this better. And I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church that did program me for many years that certain lifestyles were a sin. Fortunately, I no longer believe that way. I now believe: Love is Love. You go Kristi!March 28, 2013 – 6:27 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks Linda! I’m glad that love won over your programming. My husband was raised as a Southern Baptist, too. He also supports gay marriage and equal rights. YAY.March 28, 2013 – 6:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean Heff - Another great post, Kristi! I have started thinking a lot about what the parents of my children’s future friends are teaching them right now. Will my kids be the only ones in class who were raised to be accepting of all relationships? This post made me feel better about it.March 28, 2013 – 9:46 pmReplyCancel

  • @facethesun - Being heterosexual does not make you good at being married or good at raising children. Loving your partner and being committed to your family is what matters. Adult people who are in committed relationships should be allowed to marry. And they should be allowed to raise children even if they are the same gender.

    And you are right. Love makes a family. A child is better off with two same sex parents who are involved parents, or one single person who is an involved parent, than with a heterosexual couple that is neglectful or abusive or otherwise dangerous. I am an aunt raising a nephew. We are a family. I am the person who has committed to doing the best that I can to give him what he needs. He means more to me than anything or anyone. We are a family.March 28, 2013 – 10:00 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - You are so right that being heterosexual does NOT guarantee good parenting. Bad parenting happens. Great parenting happens. I am so glad you commented here, because it’s just sick and sad that there are still people out there who do NOT know that family is family no matter what. I talked to some of them yesterday. It’s amazing. Thank you. I’m glad your nephew and you have each other, because YOU ARE FAMILY. Already.March 28, 2013 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Oh, I loved this. My brother and his partner just got engaged in New Orleans a few weeks ago. They are planning to have a wedding in two years when his partner is done with grad school. I really hope things have evolved significantly in two years, so that they don’t have to fight and struggle to be treated with equality. You are so right- this should NOT be an issue. I’m going to refrain from jumping on my soapbox and let your beautiful words speak for themselves.March 28, 2013 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Stephanie,
      So much I feel like I know about you and then this. Congratulations to your brother and his partner! I hope that by the time they get married, that people are as shocked as we are that we used to limit interracial marriages. And you ROCK.March 28, 2013 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama Meerkat - I love this post. Though I would also include the mish mash of blended/split up families, but I suppose that is harder to draw because the possibilities are endless!March 29, 2013 – 8:09 amReplyCancel

    • admin - You’re so right that the possibilities of blended/split-up families are endless. I suppose the point is that family is family. No matter what they look like.March 29, 2013 – 9:08 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I read your post the other day, but saw you on a link up right next to me so I had to come back and comment. It is all about family, and I wish that people would stop worrying about other people’s and concentrate on their own. And as for clear skin color – isn’t that what most children see before they learn to let differences define us? Great post!March 29, 2013 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks for commenting, Dana. It is all about family. Sad that so many people forget that…and also thanks big for noticing the clear skin!!March 29, 2013 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Jeni - Love is family and family is love. Period.March 30, 2013 – 4:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - Very well said! I agree to every single word!April 3, 2013 – 3:10 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - AMEN!April 24, 2013 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Yay Jeni, Joy and Jessica! (I hate this new comment thing too). Amen to all of you! 🙂April 24, 2013 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • TheSocialButterflyMom - Also, I feel like the people who don’t want abortion of babies are sometimes the same ones who are against gay marriage and families. This is so contradictory: there are so many gay couples (and probably even singles) who want to be parents and who would love to adopt. Let’s have a bigger parent pool to choose from so that biological mothers who feel like they can’t raise their baby could give it to someone(s) who could.May 3, 2013 – 7:26 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Awesome! I was just having a conversation with my son the other day about the difference between faith and religion. You describe it perfectly!June 28, 2015 – 4:06 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - I am a Christian. I love Jesus.
    My God is pure, unequivical love.
    My God WOULD NOT be on a street corner screaming- “I HATE GAYS!”
    He would be holding up a sign saying- “I LOVE YOU.”
    You are not here to JUDGE….You are here to LOVE.
    You do not need to condone or give our self-righteous speeches…
    But you do need to SHUT UP if you are spreading hate and division and ugliness.
    And you do need to “LOVE.”
    So, do it.

    xxx

    Love your passion, Kristi)))!!!June 28, 2015 – 10:53 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes yes yes Kim!!!! This – He would be holding up a sign saying- “I LOVE YOU.” Thank you so much! Sending love to you from DC!June 28, 2015 – 7:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison Crter - I love you, so much. This post echoes exactly how I feel – thanks for writing it, friend!June 28, 2015 – 12:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Vanessa D. - With all of the negative events and negativity swirling around the internet seeing this decision made in the US was a huge bright spot in my week. One marked by the perfect hash tag, because Love does win, and I do believe God loves us all.June 28, 2015 – 4:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I believe that God loves us all too Vanessa and I’ve been avoiding the places online where I may see the negative comments. I just don’t even want to ya know?June 28, 2015 – 7:55 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - There is so much to agree with here I will just say for a weeniebutt you’re pretty smart.June 28, 2015 – 4:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Yep.
    I am struggling these days with accepting that others have different opinions than mine and that that can be OK. I stuck on one side of this issue.
    But I know rationally it’s not right for us all to agree. We wouldn’t want that world. I’m just stuck.June 28, 2015 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - True Sarah that we wouldn’t want a world where we all agree. It’d be nice though if we could all accept one another and not worry about what other people are doing. When you say you’re stuck – you mean because you struggle with it being right for gay people to marry?June 28, 2015 – 7:59 pmReplyCancel

      • Sarah - Sorry, not clear. I’m 150% pro gay marriage. I agree with everything you wrote. I’m struggling because I want everyone to agree with me even if I know that’s not fair.June 28, 2015 – 8:55 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - No sorries ever Sarah, I just wasn’t clear. Also while I know that the world’s opinions are diverse and important they’re NOT (in my opinion) important or valid when they support hate or discrimination. I mean, I think it’s fair to want everybody to agree with you when your opinion is one that accepts and LOVES and shares love. It’d be different if your opinion was one of hate and race and wanting to bring a gun to a church, ya know??? Also fuck when we KNOW we’re right it’s hard to listen. I’ll listen to anybody ever but will never listen to hate or prejudice or anybody who thinks we’re not the same more than we’re subtly different.June 28, 2015 – 9:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Correction: Old enough to be very very very young grandparents 😉

    I love this post! Love is love. I wish that was the solid topic that was going viral instead of all the hate.

    Have you ever seen the video (I can’t remember where it was live) but it shows something like an xray screen and all you see is two skeletons kissing, hugging, dancing or whatever. Then the couple separates and comes out from each side of the screen. Sometimes they are mixed races, same genders etc. It a beautiful message that we are all the same under our skin.June 28, 2015 – 6:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya I love your corrective that we’d be young grandparents!!! i so want to find that video of the skeletons – I haven’t seen it but it sound PERFECT. Because we ARE the same, I mean I know that my growing up experiences were different from yours and from many people’s but the whole life and life and LIFE thing is so much the same.June 28, 2015 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - This made me smile, and as much as I disagree with your mother-in-law that God doesn’t love the homos, I did have to giggle because I could just picture the conversation, and the word ‘homo’ is a word my mom would use too. I think you did a beautiful job of describing your mother-in-law as someone with strong moral values that she believed in, but was still quite lovely. And well, at this point, maybe you’re starting to know me just a little, but you had me at ‘dipshits.’June 28, 2015 – 6:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandra! So glad that you giggled at the homos (BECAUSE TOTALLY WHAT SHE SAID) and liked the dipshits. Because duh, we ARE.June 28, 2015 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I love that you’ve said very much of what I have been thinking. Beautiful when you wrote it and still today.
    I had a conversation with a dear friend yesterday (whom we both know and love) and one of the points was this – much like yours – why is this such a huge thing when we have other issues to deal with like terrorism and poverty and violence? Why are we stuck on this? And yes, we were on different sides of the issue. I say so what? We can differ in our beliefs, in our opinion, and still agree that in either case the best way to be is kind, compassionate, and understanding. If we are on a side of an issue and expect everyone to see ours as “right” we aren’t accomplishing anything. That’s just as bad as oppression, isn’t it? Live and let live is what my Grandfather always said and I think he was a very wise man.June 28, 2015 – 8:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well of course now I’m wondering who the friend was but obviously you and that person are awesome but yeah, exactly… why do the haters CARE? I mean what does it mean to them? NOTHING. And yeah, to the different sides thing – I mean, love is love, and if we can’t accept one another now, how in the world am I going to ask the world to accept my little boy? Because that’s what it boils down to, for me… plus, love is love. And your Grandfather sounds so so wise. xoJune 29, 2015 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - If I could write as well as you do, I would have said the same thing 🙂 How my neighbors love doesn’t affect (AFFECT, not effect – did you notice I know the difference?) how I love. How they worship doesn’t affect how I worship. How they keep their lawn obviously doesn’t affect how my yard looks, either, although THAT probably should, because ours looks pretty shaggy.

    I love your pictures, especially the boobies.June 28, 2015 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Um “if I could write as well as you do” DUH sweetie YOU DO YOU ARE YOU WRITE and we all just share our truths and that you share yours makes the world better!!! Also YES I love love love that you caught the stupid “effect” because DUH. 🙂
      My yard looks like crap.
      But YES to what you meant and mean and to YOU and to the boobie pics. 😉June 29, 2015 – 12:03 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - I love this momma! And I could not agree with you more. Love is love and family is the who love and care for us. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!June 29, 2015 – 8:58 amReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - I’m so glad you reposted this, Kristi! Beautifully and forcefully stated. “Family is the people that give a shit when you fall down.” Also, love is love. Hell yeah. I love this.June 29, 2015 – 9:58 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I remember and LOVE this post. I’m so glad you reposted it for new readers.June 29, 2015 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

  • May - “She died loved, if not agreed with.” Great line for this topic (and all topics in life really) for isn’t that absolutely an example of grace?! All grace is unmerited, but miraculously it is offered to ALL.June 29, 2015 – 11:10 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - The baby in all those pictures looks a little smug! 😛

    It’s a wonderful post, Kristi, and I don’t understand people who just don’t live their own lives without worrying about how people they don’t even know live theirs!!July 1, 2015 – 1:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Roshni, maybe the baby IS a little smug because he or she is just loved? 😉 Thank you my friend I appreciate your comment so much.July 1, 2015 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - I’m so glad you re-posted this timely piece. It needs to be said. Two of my close friends are gay and I’m so excited for them because they have been wanting to get married for a long time and raise a family. Now they finally have the equal rights they have long deserved to do so. #LoveWinsJuly 3, 2015 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Marcia,
      Yes. Yes yes #lovewins. So happy for your friends (and everybody else).July 8, 2015 – 12:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Hi Kristi! Yes, it’s really me. I wanted to stop by and give you a blog hello. This was an absolutely terrific peace of writing. My God loves all people and yes that can get complicated for those who are evil. Yet, on topic, as far as gays are concerned I have friends who are gay, I have extended family members who are gay, a (deceased) step-father who was gay so it’s always been perfectly normal to me to accept them as heterosexuals. For those that are against them having relationships, no less being married…it is a topic with those naysayers that I just turn the other cheek. I’m proud of my feelings and where I stand on the topic. So proud of you always and sending you bunches of love, my dear! 🙂July 6, 2015 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - MIKE!!! Aw friend, I miss you! How are you? Thank you for the blog hello and I’m proud of your feelings and where you stand on the topic as well. Turning the other cheek is always more easily said than done. Sending you bunches and bunches of love right back!!! xoxoxoJuly 8, 2015 – 12:54 pmReplyCancel

This past weekend, my husband and I took our son to the local waterpark for Father’s Day. I wanted the day to be perfect. Of course, perfect days don’t really exist except in memory, and almost-perfect days contain moments of worrying about when the back yard will get mowed and the seemingly endless other to-do’s. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • sara - Sounds perfect to me! (:June 26, 2015 – 1:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Really lovely post, my dear!June 26, 2015 – 3:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Elizabeth! I hope you’re continuing to enjoy your awesome trip to Great Britain!June 26, 2015 – 8:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Erin Johnston - Oh I love your descriptions of memories of Tucker- it always paints a visual in my head!June 26, 2015 – 4:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - He will know that he is loved. You forgot that you know that you are loved as well. I cannot think of anything more perfect.June 26, 2015 – 4:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - True that, Kerri. There is nothing more perfect than the love we get from our kids. And the whining, and the whole “doing this wrong” feeling but yes! 😉June 26, 2015 – 9:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi, you write so beautifully. I was with you on that roadside in Colorado. I could see the sky. And as for the filter of memory, yes. And I needed to be reminded, because three week sin to our road trip – it’s anything but the best memory. But by September, this will all be magical.June 26, 2015 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie!! Thank you for mentioning the sky in Colorado. This post came hard for some reason but that part of it was always in mind. I love that you saw it. And yes, to your trip. It’s more amazing than not, and I send wishes and hopes that the crappy moments are soon forgotten.June 26, 2015 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - **In that moment, I knew God and time and just how large and small each of us truly are**

    Somebody once said, “Our purpose as a writer is to make people “FEEL.”

    You. Always. Make. Me. FEEL.

    This is MUCH appreciated, Kristi. xxxxJune 26, 2015 – 6:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - That is pretty perfect. Starry nights and fireworks are always AWEsome. I can’t believe those two pictures are just a year apart. He really looks like a big boy now, not a baby. I know you hate to hear that, I sure did. Even now – they go through stages.June 26, 2015 – 7:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya, I SO HATE TO HEAR that but yeah, I get it. He really is starting to look more kid-like and less baby-like. *sob* But it is how it is right? And yeah, starry nights and fireworks. AWEsome.June 26, 2015 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • UP - Sounds perfect to me.June 26, 2015 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I never really thought about certain memories being perfect in retrospect. It’s really so true. I suppose we have some perfect moments interspersed between lots of imperfect moments, but our “kind” memories (I love how you describe memory as kind) help us remember the perfect ones.I’ve been thinking lately about summer vacations because I know a few families around here who have taken or are about to take “big” vacations with their kids to places like Italy and Israel. My first thought (after envy) is that my kids are usually such high-maintenance travelers that I wouldn’t want to spend the money on such a “big” vacation if they were going to whine, fight and complain the whole time. But maybe I wouldn’t remember that part of the trip and only the good moments — all five of them? (ha), Or, maybe other people’s kids are better behaved and they don’t worry about that crap? Food for thought…no “big” vacations planned for us anyway, but maybe someday….June 26, 2015 – 9:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      I get your reluctance for the “big vacation” as my brother and his family have been planning a tip to Orlando for forever and invited us forever ago, but I’ve been reluctant to book anything because well for a lot of reasons that I know you get. xxooJune 26, 2015 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - You continue to amaze me with your charming optimism. I remember reading your blog years ago (like 4-5 years ago?) and even then, in the midst of learning of your child’s autism and possible developmental delays, you were a shining star, like the ones you described in this post; a beacon of hope for those who also had children who would take a little longer to speak and point to the calendar knowing when their next birthday would be (that one is gonna suck, kinda). Your purpose on this earth continues to be about teaching your child AND those who haven’t quite figured out yet how far love, compassion, and endurance will take their children in this big ol’ world.June 27, 2015 – 12:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandy – you are so so sweet! And yeah, this kid of mine is utterly inspiring really and a lot of the reason I started blogging in the first place (it’ll be three years in September). THANK YOU!June 27, 2015 – 6:08 pmReplyCancel

  • MJM - Awesome piece my friend, and so very true. Now I know there’s no such thing as a perfect day, one without any problems/issues whatsoever, but as cliche as it sounds the times spent with my family and friends were pretty darn close, regardless of what was happening around us.June 27, 2015 – 2:10 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - MJ! Thank you my friend and yeah, there are times that are pretty close to perfect for sure. xoJune 27, 2015 – 6:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Memories are so kind that way! Every year we long for spring and summer, even though it’s sticky, hot and buggy and full of buggy diseases!
    I mostly remember the ice cream.
    I think knowing you are loved, and that you love, are pretty perfect indeed. Nothing better.June 28, 2015 – 12:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Lovely memories! And the best part is that when Tucker is older he’ll look back and remember as well.June 28, 2015 – 1:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Sounds as close to perfect as any of us can hope to get. I think Tucker would probably agree. It’s a gift to be able to know that there were some less than perfect moments in a day, but be able to pull the spectacular memories forward making it all worth remembering.June 28, 2015 – 10:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandy – so so true and I do believe that Tucker would agree. I hope his celebration this year is as special because last year’s was pretty perfect.June 29, 2015 – 5:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Mimi - Loved this Kristi! Two beautiful memories that show how hindsight enables us to embrace the good and let the rest dissolve. Love all the vivid details and beautiful language. You painted a couple of stunning pictures with your words. Thank you! xoJune 29, 2015 – 1:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Really? Thanks, Mimi! It felt disconnected but maybe that’s okay. Especially if you say so! xoJune 29, 2015 – 5:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - I love this sentiment – it’s so very true that the happiest parts of a day shine brightest in our memories of the day. Although remembering the less-happy parts can help us appreciate the good times all the more, too. In any case, I hope you and Tucker get lots and lots of fireworks this week, plenty of cake to go around, and no bug bites on the butt. 🙂June 29, 2015 – 9:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michele,
      You’re right that the less-happy parts help us to appreciate the good. Thank you. And I hope your fourth of July is magical! (and also has awesome fireworks and no butt bugbites!)June 29, 2015 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Yup, I think you’re right – all the details that might makes these things less than perfect fade. We’re left with the best of it all.July 1, 2015 – 7:00 pmReplyCancel

By the time I had my son, I was an expert regarding what being a mother would entail. I’d glow while pregnant, women in the grocery store would unexpectedly grip and bless my stomach, and, once my baby was out and about in this world, I’d have a tribe of neighbors and mom friends. Years […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Anna Fitfunner - Hey there! Not sure that the post needs all that much editing over time. I think that you’ve captured the angst that all of us feel when trying to engage our neighbors. Especially if we’re the mom of a special needs kid. I admit that, while I’m friendly with parents of kids who are neurotypical, my clique (If we ever were exclusive enough to make it a clique. Which we’re not) is mostly made up of parents of special needs kids. They get me. I get them. It’s how we roll.June 18, 2015 – 10:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Anna! I love your “They get me. I get them. It’s how we roll.” I’ve made a couple of friends through Tucker’s typical kindergarten but not that I could say we’re a clique or anything. If I belong to any, they are the special needs mom ones and blogging community ones!June 19, 2015 – 3:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh Kristi, I know you’ve had a tough time with the “mommies” and I’m so me sorry for that. And you make me feel especially lucky, because I did find a typical mom (and in was just the two of us the first year at the bus stop), who embraced me and my family. Just be yourself -you are a warrior and I love you and they could learn form you. And if they’re still assholes, seriously, they are not worth you time or your words. I say **ck them!June 18, 2015 – 10:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie,
      No need to be sorry! I think the bus stop moms bonded years ago – most have kids who are a little older so they’ve had more years at the bus stop than I have. Love your “I say **ck them!” 🙂 You’re awesome and I adore you. I hope you’re having an amazing trip!!June 19, 2015 – 3:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - I too can’t see my yard from my kitchen window! 😉
    I feel very fortunate that I live in an area where it’s pretty easy to randomly meet moms at the playground (my friend who lives a couple towns over in the burbs said this isn’t really the case where she lives). Because I live in a city where people are constantly moving in and out, I feel like it’s harder for these types of mom cliques to form. I’m sure by the time my daughter is in school I’m sure a good number of her classmates will have only lived in the area for a couple years. But I do know these things happen — last year there was actually an article about the mom cliques in one of the Boston suburbs. It was reading about high schoolers!

    I’m glad you were able to find your tribe, even if it wasn’t quite what you had envisioned. I find that life never is really what we expect it to be!June 19, 2015 – 8:05 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Bev,
      YAY that it’s easy to meet moms at the playground for you – that makes me happy. Maybe the longer Tucker is in the same school, I’ll get to know the bus stop moms better. There was an article about mom cliques in the Boston suburbs? Wow – I’ll bet it was fascinating (and maybe horrifying??). And yeah, life really is rarely what we expect!June 19, 2015 – 3:14 pmReplyCancel

  • April G - I’ve never paid much attention. There once was a mommy clique that I worked to get in, but it was too much “work”. I called it a day quickly. I’ve met my own mommy friends and they are all over the place.June 19, 2015 – 10:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - April, I hear you on the too much “work” to get into a mommy clique! My friends are all over, too.June 19, 2015 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Erin Johnston - LOVE IT! SOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!June 19, 2015 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I avoided writing about mommy cliques just because I had so many bad experiences with them, and I didn’t want to offend the people who weren’t so noble with me, even vaguely without Identifying information, because they blog. The best one I found offline was MOPS, but my kids outgrew that, and those people were more acquaintances than friends, but it was fun. Every meeting was like a convention where you learn something, you get free swag, free food and the option to buy stuff like a book. But I’m glad you found your tribes, and I”ll admit, my blog too has given me a slew of supportive people in my life who I truly appreciate. And that PAC sounds like it was one of the best things to happen for you and your son. I wouldn’t regret a moment of it. Bonding time in that age group is just like your fantasy of watching kids play outside from your window. It’s an illusion. I think I spent the kids toddler to preschool years just cleaning up after their messes, and while I cleaned one, they made another, and then I’d get behind and desperately beg someone to watch them so I could clean and sleep, and no one would, so I cried a lot, with vomit inducing migraines, during that “bonding” period. It will be in my book.June 19, 2015 – 11:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michelle,
      I never heard of MOPS but I’m guessing it’s too late as my son is almost six. I actually had a hard time writing about mommy cliques – I had some great ideas but then didn’t really know what I wanted “out there” ya know?
      And yeah, PAC was amazing for both Tucker and for me – finding a group of moms who get it was huge!
      I can’t wait to read your book!June 19, 2015 – 3:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - I am not a “MomCliquer”, well, offline anyway! Offline, I found that I don’t quite fit in with the other moms my age. I do things a little to different for their liking. I have, however, found a very awesome and diverse Mom-Clique online full of wonderful women that I adore and trust! You should know, you are one of them!June 19, 2015 – 3:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks, Echo! And I know what you mean about the online community being so accepting and wonderful. I’m not sure why that is – maybe we get to know each other better than we would at a playground through writing? I’m glad you’re in my clique!!!June 19, 2015 – 3:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - “I’d probably join a knitting or mom-gambling club while gracefully balancing my career, breastfeeding, and tending to gorgeous flowers in the yard.” Bahahahaha. Funny how we knew it all when we were pregnant.

    I’ve found a great mom tribe at our neighborhood daycare (I prefer “tribe” to “clique,” as clique brings back shudders from middle and high school, when I most definitely wasn’t in one). It’s been wonderful to have those moms there as our kids have grown from infancy together, and I really value having them nearby for impromptu meetups with and without the kids. But I’ve also met so many other WONDERFUL moms along the way (like you!) whom I’d be lost without. We find ways to find our people — and they don’t all have to be next door.June 19, 2015 – 4:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michele – RIGHT!?!?!? The Bahahahah yes! We did know it all when we were pregnant. I kinda miss those days!
      I’m so glad you’ve found a great mom tribe (and agree that “clique” is uglier and less supportive than the word “tribe”) in your hood!
      I’m also so so glad to have met YOU. Here’s to not being next door. And finding community anyway.June 19, 2015 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I’m not sure what this says about me, but this is my favorite line of this post: “There’s also the fact that a lot of my neighbors are assholes.’ It made me smile, maybe bc a lot of my neighbors are assholes too. I guess that’s what happens when you live in a suburban town with 1/4 acre lots – there’s bound to be a few assholes mixed in. 🙂 But, I’m off topic as usual. I so get the whole mom clique thing and I also get how tough it can be when you’re feeling like you don’t have a clique where you belong or where you want to belong. I’m glad you found your village – it really helps.June 19, 2015 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      That was my favorite line too so it says that you have good taste or something like it 🙂
      I’m glad you’re in MY village. So so much.June 19, 2015 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I’m totally in a few! I have the one from my hospital birth group with Scarlet and it was such a tight and intense situation that I didn’t even bother to make friends when I had Des. Oops. Luckily preschool and daycare have made new ones.
    I’m also part of the kindergarten moms group. We’re very inclusive and open – we only gossip about.. ok… one person.. once… but it’s definitely an awesome feeling to have them.June 19, 2015 – 5:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tamara,
      You’re totally in a few including MY online one and I thank you for that!! I’m glad you have some IRL ones as well and ok of course there is always that *one* right?June 19, 2015 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - The special education groups are the best. That’s a silver lining.June 19, 2015 – 7:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Bianca - Hi Kristi
    I’m glad you found your tribe! I too had the impression that I would quickly find my village, based on so many sitcoms & romantic comedies…yeah…no.

    I’ve had a few bad experiences with mom cliques. I was in a mommy & me class on the ritzy side of town & the moms would give me the stink eye when I rolled up in my Honda amongst all their mercedes & BMWs. I thankfully found a few true mom friends in the midst of all these moms I met.

    Sadly, we had to move 5 hours away from them. I’m grateful I can still visit several times a year & that we have Facebook & the phone until we see each other again. However, I’ve been out here for almost a year & I still haven’t met anyone I can call a friend. I have plenty of acquaintances, but no one I click with that much. Ah well.June 19, 2015 – 7:14 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Bianca,
      I joined so many mom groups when my son was tiny! They all SUCKED. I’m sorry that you had to deal with the beotches at the mom clique mercedes circle but so glad you’ve found your tribe now – although sad that they’re so far away!!! I’ll happily be in your tribe?June 19, 2015 – 11:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Lauren - Kristen this is great, thanks! I had such a hard time making friends when I first had kids… I will never forget I had a babysitter once take my kids to the local playground and a mom asked her to join the local mom’s group- something that had NEVER been offered to me after hundreds of playground trips… Thankfully I found my people- and I’m glad you found yours, too!June 19, 2015 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lauren, I’m so so glad you found your people!!! And that I did too even though it wasn’t where I thought I would.June 19, 2015 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - My favorite Mom cliques are the ones on the internet—all my bloggy friends like you!June 19, 2015 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Me too! Although I do have one IRL friend from PAC who is totally awesome. But yeah, other than that, YES!June 19, 2015 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - Ah yes, the infamous mommy cliques. I tried and failed because I am fiercely competitive, and would happily watch as my son clobbered other children for the toys at the Mommy&Me groups. I don’t think cliques are thing overall, I wasn’t very good at them in high school either. And yet, I’ve never felt more welcome and more at home as I did and do when I’m with my online friendlies. As for the comment about not seeing your backyard from your kitchen and the neighbours being assholes, well, that had me laughing out loud…give me one dirty word in a post and I focus on that one! Seriously, you are such a gifted writer, I enjoy each and every word.June 20, 2015 – 12:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandra,
      I tried and failed for three years! Once, I went to this mommy and me playgroup and everybody was really young (and I had my son when I was 40) and they were all talking about how to save money on baby food by making their own (yuck). Online friends are so awesome and supportive! Glad to be able to call you one of mine!
      And yeah, some neighbors around here are total assholes! Thanks so much for your awesome comment!June 20, 2015 – 3:03 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - AWWww, YEs, darling.

    I remember a mom saying something like, “Oh, my son is soooooo fabulous and brilliant that I don’t even need to go to his school conference anymore!”

    And I’d be like, “I can’t be your friend!”

    The thing is, it doesn’t change much. Some moms will still say,

    “My son made it into Harvard and Princeton, too, and he’s AWESOME and Smart and pure perfection.”

    And I’m like, “I can’t be your friend!”

    LOOOOVE from MN. xxxJune 20, 2015 – 4:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, KIM!!! I CAN BE YOUR FRIEND. Thank goodness and God and all of the feels. xxooJune 21, 2015 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I have lots of circles of friends, with varying degrees of closeness. I like it that way – too much dependence on one or a few friends tends to lead to problems. For me, friendships have to be easy. Of course you need to work to maintain friendships and make the effort to get together, but if I have to change who I am or how I act…forget it.

    I have been very lucky to meet some awesome women who I get to share this parenting journey with, both online and in person. Very lucky.June 20, 2015 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes, Dana, to the friendships being easy. Like mine is with you and I am so thankful for that!! Forget changing how we have to act!June 21, 2015 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Mimi - I loved this Kristi. I’m so glad you’ve found a clique at home, and I’m glad to now count you among my online friends. I understand those feelings you had after having Tucker. I experienced similar things after having my oldest in NYC. My daydreams did not in any way sync with what became my reality. Over the years I’ve had different groups and at this point I’ve found a place where I feel comfortable, but there are still moments of questioning. I think they’re just part of life though. Agree though it’s wonderful to have a village. So glad you are part of my online one. XOJune 20, 2015 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mimi,
      I’m so glad to know YOU and am thankful that you get it when it comes to the IRL friends and the dreams not synching and all of it. XOXOJune 21, 2015 – 10:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I think every mom goes through that feeling, where they realize this mommy clique is worse than than the high school cheerleader clique. Rather than becoming one of the sheep, the smart moms steer clear and find their own clique to grow with.

    You, my friend, are one of the smart ones.June 22, 2015 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

It’s hard to believe that it’s been only 48 hours since I was stressed out about having my almost-six-year-old son’s first birthday party. Because his birthday is in July, and falls on a holiday, and also because he’s never really cared about having a birthday party before going to some, we’ve taken trips, gone to […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Mary Hill - I know what you mean by stressing over birthday parties. I am glad Tucker got a real one this year and he rocked it. Sounds like a great success!June 15, 2015 – 1:19 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Mary and yeah, it was an awesome success in spite of my stressing about it 🙂June 15, 2015 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - This post fills me with joy, Kristi! Of course I KNEW Tucker would have a blast, and that his friends would love it, and that it would be the “best birthday party ever” but so wonderful to read that that is indeed how it went, and that you had fun too. For all the stress our kids’ birthday parties create for us, it’s so hugely rewarding and worth it when they are over and successful :).
    Rock on Tucker! Big birthday love to you all.
    xxxJune 15, 2015 – 1:34 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Nicki!!! It was so awesome. I already miss it and I so thank you for your KNOWING it’d be amazing and for reminding me to not stress and well of course tons and tons of love back at you. You still in Amsterdam? Please tell me you’re having a blast? Unless you are not of course.June 15, 2015 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Sounds like a super fun party.
    🙂
    Those things always cause more anxiety beforehand, but the actual event turns out great.
    My sister was in tears the morning of her son’s first birthday party, having a house so full of guests and wanting everything to be perfect.
    Having family and friends there is all that matters. Those bouncy castles, a pool, pizza and cupcakes would make it fun for any child, or adult for that matter.
    🙂
    Happy Birthday to your little boy and hope you have a great week ahead.June 15, 2015 – 4:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kerry, it was truly a perfect party! Everybody had such fun and it was truly worth it. Aw to your sister – it does cause anxiety! We want so badly for everything to go well and for our kids to have fun and and and!! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes!June 16, 2015 – 12:40 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - BEST PARTAAAY EVAAAAAAAAAAH! WOOHOO! Man I wish I coulda been there! I so woulda rocked that superhero theme! Does Tucker have a favorite superhero? Mine is Silver Surfer…. man of concscience yet cool enough to surf the cosmos on a freaking surf board!June 15, 2015 – 5:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ivy – it was awesome and I so wish you could have been there! You’d have rocked it! Tucker’s favorite superhero is Iron Man right now, although Spiderman and Hulk are up there too! Silver Surfer – I don’t think he knows that one yet but love that he’s a man of conscience and surfs the cosmos! So cool!June 16, 2015 – 3:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Yay! I am so, so happy for both you and Tucker. Best birthday party ever is quite the accomplishment! I will admit that while I usually am thankful that the stress of planning kids’ bday parties is behind me, I do miss the joyous exhaustion that follows a day that makes your kid deliriously happy. Enjoy every second of it.June 15, 2015 – 6:58 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dana, thank you! It was such a fun day and weekend. This is the last week of school too so there’s more fun stuff – end of year performances, ice cream trucks at school… it’s pretty awesome! And I definitely will enjoy every second 🙂June 16, 2015 – 3:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Best birthday party ever has got to be the “bestest” compliment. I’m so glad everything went well! Lol to the back of the head pictures. You can still share them 🙂June 15, 2015 – 7:11 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Kenya! I’m so glad that everything went well too and you’re right – I could share the back of the head photos!June 16, 2015 – 3:33 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - YOU rock!
    Tucker rocks!
    It is beautiful that you have one another, darling. xxxJune 15, 2015 – 10:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks, Kim!!! And I agree that it’s beautiful that we have one another! <3June 16, 2015 – 3:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Janet Ochs - I’m so glad it went well and that Tucker had a great time! I’m looking forward to the day we can do that with Chris.June 15, 2015 – 10:05 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Hurray for a successful party! I’m so glad it went well and everyone had a great time.June 15, 2015 – 10:09 amReplyCancel

  • Michele - YAY – you did it! I’m so glad that it went so well and that Tucker and his friends had so much fun. Though, really, with you running the show, I don’t think that was ever in doubt. 🙂

    And now you get to celebrate all over again in three weeks – the plus of an early birthday party!June 15, 2015 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michele! YAY! Thank you so much for your kind words and yay for more celebrations in a few weeks!June 16, 2015 – 3:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Vanessa D. - Way to go Tucker and Mom!

    I’m so glad everyone enjoyed the party.June 15, 2015 – 11:58 amReplyCancel

  • karen - We just had AJ’s 6th birthday party last weekend and it IS stressful…and expensive. Since he’s our only we make sure to give him what he wants, plus I want to get to experience it all too!!!

    Tucker looks so thrilled with it all! Sounds like he had a awesome party and will have great memories.June 15, 2015 – 12:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Karen,
      So glad that AJ’s party was such a success as well! I hear you about giving them what they want since they’re our only kids!June 16, 2015 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Turns out you rocked it too!
    It gives me confidence for our big day/weekend coming up. So much to celebrate this time of year.June 15, 2015 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

  • April G - Such a sweet post. Of course you and he rocked it. You are his momma and you’ve been great. So glad you had a good time.June 15, 2015 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Just so happy to read this. I know it sounds cliche, but this post made my day, truly. Hooray for rocking birthday parties and most of all, I’m so glad that Tucker had FUN!!June 15, 2015 – 6:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily, thank you!!! It was such a relief that it went so well and YAY that it made your day!! <3June 16, 2015 – 3:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Scott - I’m glad it turned out so well! Happy birthday to your little man!June 15, 2015 – 6:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Siebert - Kristi you are such an awesome Mom and Tucker rocks everything. I am so glad it went well for all of you. Your victory is all of our victories especially for those who will never be there for the kid party.

    Now don’t get yourself into the bigger is better every year because this year’s party was perfect.

    I bet you are exhausted, happy, elated and a bit relieved. Any video?

    Same thing happens when Alex is having a great time. I am so busy enjoying watching him having fun somehow pictures either do not get taken or they are of the back of his head too!

    Congratulations!June 15, 2015 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Beth,
      Thank you! You’re an awesome mom!! HAHA to getting into the bigger is better every year! 🙂 I don’t think I have any video – I’m lucky that I got photos!June 16, 2015 – 4:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Mimi - Thank you for this awesome update! Tucker is so lucky to have you as his mama. I’m beyond thrilled that he had a ball and that it was such a success!! Congrats!! Happy early bday to Tucker! xoJune 16, 2015 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Mimi!! I was so pleased with how well it all went!! Thanks for checking in about it too – that was sweet!June 16, 2015 – 4:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - YAY! I am so glad that it was a success!It feels good, doesn’t it? All the stress before melts away when you see them happy!June 16, 2015 – 12:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Echo – it feels SO good! And yes – the stress really melts away with their happiness! 🙂June 16, 2015 – 4:57 pmReplyCancel

  • don - Awe. I hate kids’ parties, but I love you and I’m glad that Tman had a blast with his friends. Was this at some facility that you rented or what?? It looks awesome. Nice work, momma. Also, you look great the next day, so you must not have worked hard enough.June 16, 2015 – 1:09 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Don! LOL to hating kid’s parties. I liked this one but maybe because it was Tucker’s first with friends. And yeah, we had it at our gym (Lifetime Fitness – it’s a chain so maybe you know it) so they did all the hard stuff. They even cleaned up after pizza and cupcakes so I win. And I love you too Mister. Good to see you here – I miss your crazy self.June 16, 2015 – 5:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra - Totally awesome blog post, and honestly, the “journal entry” kind are my fave (because I’m nosy and want to know how other people rock their world). Let me tell you, I wasn’t even at Tucker’s party, and I can’t tell all the way from my home here in Winnipeg, Canada, that you hosted the best bday party ever. I have four kids, and never, ever have I done anything close to what you have accomplished. Special needs children or not, there were a ton of people, so my hats off to you darling, you are the Queen! You do realize the little sweetheart is going to expect you to top this next year 🙂June 16, 2015 – 1:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandra, good to know that you like the journal entry blog posts – I always feel like mine are boring but maybe I need to rethink that! Thank you for your super kind words and encouragement – I really appreciate both! And haha to him expecting me to top this next year – you’re probably right!June 16, 2015 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - WOO HOO Go MAMA!!! you did it and it was awesome and incredible and I am so freaking happy for youJune 16, 2015 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Yay Kristi! Yay! So excited that everything went well. But, I kind of new it would. I remember the stress, I do, but I also remember the “what was I worried about?” about feeling. And I love that you followed up with a mom and Tucker water park date. You are the coolest mom!June 16, 2015 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie! I heard you met Mimi today! How awesome (and I’m jealous of you both) and also, yeah, I am in the whole “what was I worried about?” part right now, although it also seemed I had a LOT to worry about at the time 🙂June 16, 2015 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I love love love this post and you know why because we just did the same thing this weekend – same day, even, because you and me? We rock. Like rock stars.
    I am so happy that the party went well and Tucker had a wonderful time. I am also so happy that you guys went a bit overboard for yours, too. 😉
    Love you all!June 18, 2015 – 1:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa we so so rock like rock stars who rock! I’m glad that you had your party this weekend too and that you also went overboard! I can’t wait to hear more about it! Love YOU all!! xxooJune 18, 2015 – 11:03 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - So glad it went so well! We were the same way – celebrating privately for years until he asked for a party. He wanted a dinosaur themed party and like you we went overboard and he rocked it! 🙂June 21, 2015 – 1:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY for going overboard and our little dudes rocking their parties!! 🙂 🙂 🙂June 22, 2015 – 1:05 pmReplyCancel

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