Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

At one point in my life, being accepted was everything. In the 80’s, I permed my hair, wore fluorescent orange sweaters and pink Reeboks, blue eyeshadow, and a crappy attitude because that’s what was celebrated and included. None of those things made me especially popular, but I lived the norm and nobody in my high […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Nicki - It’s a relief, isn’t it, to be in this place of self-awareness and a confidence that we know and believe that what we’re doing for ourselves and our families IS the right thing, no matter what others may think? I love everything you say here, but especially this: “I used to love acceptance. Today, I no longer feel like we should live our lives in order to please anybody but ourselves and the greater good.” <3May 1, 2015 – 1:25 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Wow, last time I looked you had 52 minutes and you didn’t have anything. I think the best truth comes out when you don’t have time to worry about what others are going to think about what you’ve written. Online is a scary place when you share something simple or pour your heart out. People just let stupid roll off their tongue and let it hang there. Everybody’s way of life is their own, no one size fits all. I’m sure you feel better for writing this out loud. 😉May 1, 2015 – 6:21 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ugh I still feel like I didn’t have anything but thank you!! I love “people just let stupid roll off their tongue” – so so so true!!! Thanks, Kenya. You rock.May 2, 2015 – 12:28 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Preach it, Mama.

    Once we get to that point (of not caring what others think)….We are LIBERATED!

    Love from MN. xxxMay 1, 2015 – 7:56 amReplyCancel

  • Aliie - I’m so sorry your struggled with the prompt, so did I. I love the 23 year old you – so chick:)!. I love your village and I love the fact that you don’t care what I have to say – seriously. This may sound weird, but I was almost going to go there with my love/hate thing, but ending up on road trip…ugh!May 1, 2015 – 8:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Nah, Allie! I struggled with it because of my week, not because of the prompt. Please know that. I can usually think of something no matter what the prompt. I mean, I wrote a tribute to my dog for something like “So cool” a couple years ago. It’s more that I just was floundering this week. And isn’t floundering a weird word? Is it because of the fish??? I loved yours so stop!May 2, 2015 – 12:32 amReplyCancel

  • christine - There is no such thing as too old for a pull up at night. Some kids just have a hard time with it for a variety of reasons. (I know kids who wore them til they were 10.) Oh, and a child who drank milk from a bottle til she was 8. Just sayin. 🙂

    We all want and need a village. We just don’t need that village to include everyone in the world. It’s an awesome feeling when you realize that being like everyone isn’t necessary in the least.May 1, 2015 – 9:42 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Christine, you are plain old awesome. Seriously – thank you. I love that your encouragement and reassurance. So much. Thank you.May 2, 2015 – 8:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - As one of the very first readers of your journey I can say that I have been witness to that growth you are writing about. From wanting to be accepted, to wanting to accept my future son in law as he is (yourself and the world), to learning on what advice to take, what advice to throw away and what advice to say yes that makes sense but um…we are doing something different.

    You, my friend are incredible and I am glad to have known you all this time.May 1, 2015 – 10:44 amReplyCancel

  • April G - I’m sure he wouldn’t want me to reveal this, but my son still wets the bed. I can’t get up with a third child at night and his father was a late bed wetter too… so it slides, for now.May 1, 2015 – 1:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - April, I’m so glad that you wrote it. Thank you. Seriously, knowing that others are in the same boat makes it feel so much better.May 2, 2015 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - Good for you for not letting anyone convince you to do something that you and Tucker aren’t ready to do.
    My youngest son slept in a pull-up until he was 5 because he slept so soundly he couldn’t get up at night. Even after giving up the pull-up he still had accidents about 1-2x a week for awhile. I did find that layering 2 sets of sheets with a waterproof mattress pad between them helped at night – I could have the wet stuff stripped off by the time he was cleaned up:)
    He also sucked his thumb at night until he was 8 – the only reason he stopped is because he had to wear a retainer at night for a summer and that made it too hard to suck his thumb – I’m happy to say that at 14 his thumb that used to be half the size of the other is full size!!!May 1, 2015 – 1:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL to his thumb being full size now! I sucked my thumb pretty late too and remember making myself stop because I was going to a sleep over and didn’t want to be embarrassed!May 2, 2015 – 8:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - “Now, I’m no longer sure that autism is the word that fits him best, although it’s close and I find community there.”

    Yes, me, too! As you know. Glad you and Robert and Tucker are in our village. Glad potty training took forever with someone else’s kid, too.May 1, 2015 – 2:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I think you are right about both – deep down we do all want to fit in and be accepted (Pretty sure that’s why I have such an issue with body image), BUT at the same time it doesn’t matter what others think and we shouldn’t spend our lives trying to please everyone else. I need to remember that.May 1, 2015 – 5:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think it’s hard to not worry about what other people think and sometimes, it can be motivating (the best shape I was in ever has been when I’m in a new relationship and so motivated to exercise). Gah. But yeah, what other people thinks doesn’t always matter.May 2, 2015 – 8:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb - So interesting. I think I somehow walk the line between wanting to fit in but also wanting to go against the grain all the time. Whenever something I’m into becomes super mainstream, I find it less compelling. (This could explain my persistent ambivalence about blogging.) Anyway, you are so clearly an amazing mom to your little boy; it is harder for you than for those with “typical” kids, and I’m sorry about that. I’m glad you are starting to care less about what other people think.

    Ps: Perm, blue eyeshadow, leather jacket, crappy attitude, flip bangs: check check check check check. Also, H can sleep in a freaking diaper until he gets married for all I care. As long as he is trained during the day. 😉May 1, 2015 – 6:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love your “so interesting” comment because this was another last minute thing and you are the real writer and I thank you for getting it and all of that. Also yes to the blue eyeshadow. I kinda miss it.Definitely the crappy attitude.May 2, 2015 – 10:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Humans are social creatures – it is in our nature to desire acceptance and inclusion. Even when we say we want to do it our way. And that comes the part that is so very human, the part that has no choice but to be true to our Self.
    As for the 80s…acid wash jeans and that very particular cut of oversized sweater. Jeans jacket. The hair…oh the hair. One of these days I’m going to share a picture of my 80s hair. If I had purchased stock in Rave hairspray I’d be a wealthy woman today based on my consumption alone.May 2, 2015 – 2:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - PLEASE share a photo of your 80’s hair soon? I miss jean jackets and acid wash and big bangs. Life was simpler then but also I’m so glad that Tucker will never have the Duran hair..May 2, 2015 – 10:45 pmReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I LOVED Duran Duran. I wanted to marry the lead singer.May 2, 2015 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I love how you always end your posts with a line, phrase, thought that is impacting and though-provoking. Living for the greater good is uplifting and inspiring on this Sat. morning. Thank you!May 2, 2015 – 12:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Siebert - I struggle with the biochemical component of my son’s rare (2 diseases). One if Landau Kleffner Syndrome (LKS) which only 201 people have been diagnosed with internally since the 1950(s) and his mitochondrial cytopathy.

    When I sit with other people it is hard for me to have regular conversations not about biochemistry therefore I can’t fit in and be the parent my son needs,May 3, 2015 – 1:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Here’s to say forget fitting in and being the parent Alex needs!!May 3, 2015 – 11:36 amReplyCancel

      • Beth Siebert - Thanks for having a generous and big loving heart to accept us as we are! We adore you Kristi!May 3, 2015 – 11:42 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy - Wow! Wonderfully written and perfectly said. It is fantastic to have supportive people around us but you’re right. While support and acceptance and a feeling of not being alone is fantastic, advice should only be meant as suggestive. I know I have a hard time with that sometimes but not as much anymore. You have to be true to you and your family. You have to do what works for you. I’d support you no matter what…but you already know that.May 3, 2015 – 9:19 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I do already know that, Sandy. And I love you for it. Thank you. Also I love you for other reasons too. Just saying.May 3, 2015 – 12:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I can dig that for sure. I mean, I’m from New Jersey. Girls there do hair and makeup just to get gas.. that they don’t even pump themselves!
    I’ve found that I’m less awkward going my own way. Of course I still care, but not as much.May 3, 2015 – 9:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I was in NJ a couple weeks ago. Have to say wow and that the one I was in contact with looked plastic. You look gorgeous.May 4, 2015 – 11:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Sakshi - That one phone call from you has changed our lives. The twins were always happy kids, but after talking to you, I am back to being a happy mom. 🙂May 4, 2015 – 4:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, Sakshi, thank you and I’m so so SO glad to read that you feel less alone. Please feel free to call me anytime!!!May 4, 2015 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Thomas Freeman - Hi,

    Please could you send over your advertising rates? My client is interested in links, blog posts, banners and social media promotion. Thank you for your time.

    ThomasJune 2, 2015 – 7:10 pmReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land Series post was authored by the incredible mama bear Beth Siebert. Beth is a wealth of knowledge on special needs and on the rights that all of our superhero kids have. She’s involved in advocacy, is amazingly up-to-date on the legal aspects of raising a child who requires support and specialized medical treatment, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Elizabeth Siebert - Kristi thank you for being the incredible advocate, friend and awesome writer/ editor who made this article shine and sparkle. You make diamonds from coal with your love and inner beauty and inspire all of us to be better people, parents, advocates and writers. Thank you!April 27, 2015 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw you – it was YOUR words that gave this essay truth and beauty and heart and I thank you so so much for allowing me to publish this in Our Land. You’re an amazing mama and you and Alex are going to help so many families!!! Thank you!April 27, 2015 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - This is completely awesome. True angels, for sure!April 27, 2015 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - My friend’s dad is a pilot for Angel Flight in New England. He is a retired HUGE airline commercial pilot and feels that doing this is the best way to spend his retirement. Not only does he get to meet some great kids, he gets to share his love of the skies with him. I’m so glad, Beth, that your son gets to meet these incredible men & women.April 28, 2015 – 10:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Really Kerri? That’s so awesome. I’d never heard of it before Beth told me about it!April 28, 2015 – 7:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Beth Siebert - Hi Kerri,

      Lovely to meet you. You are so right about the Angel Flight people. They are all INCREDIBLE! Just the most sage people in the world. Their love of aviation and children with exceptional healthcare and all exceptionalities is so incredibly humbling and endearing. Thank you for reading my article (Actually Kristi gets billing here because she helped me a lot and provided the forum for all people to come together a celebrate love and acceptance of every diversity.). It is humbling to be a recipient of Angel Flight but then to get to share this wonderful experience ion Kristi’s blog is a wonderful experience as well plus I got to meet you! Thank you!April 28, 2015 – 7:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Pattie - What a wonderful gift these pilots give to their guests! Thank you for sharing this Kristi (you are always the bestest ever)and Beth, as I am sure like me, many people don’t know about Angel Flights. I hope that more people who can benefit from this wonderful service will see this post. Lots of love to both of you!April 28, 2015 – 3:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Pattie,
      HI! And thank you so much for coming – I’d never heard of them either and so hope that people will know they have options for traveling to medical appointments when needed!April 28, 2015 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Beth Siebert - Hi Pattie,

      I’d have to agree with you Kristi is the best ever as ai would have never had the courage or forum to publish this story without her, She helped me a lot!!

      The pilots have all been incredible human beings and very diverse, I knew about this air charity but was very reluctant until I meet our first set of pilots. Those guys were such pros the flight was smoother then had it been a. commercial airliner.

      The other pilots have all been brilliant as well. It is a great experience too because I am teaching my son about general aviation as we fly in different airplanes.

      It is very nice to meet you as well and thank you for reading our story. From your lips to God’s ears that this blog article helps other families. The Air Charity Network aka Angel Flight organization and pilots could not be appreciated more by us. Thank you for leaving a comment.April 28, 2015 – 7:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Wow, what an incredible charity and organization…I had never heard of this before, but I’m so glad it is available for families like yours who truly can benefit from it. Thank you for sharing this with us!April 28, 2015 – 3:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree, Emily! I’d never heard of them! So glad they’re there, and think “I want to do something like that when I retire!” (but don’t know how to fly – something like that though)April 28, 2015 – 7:43 pmReplyCancel

      • Beth Siebert - Never too late to learn to fly Kristi but what you do here is so important and helps so many families. I think you have found your calling, Flying for you can be a hobby.April 28, 2015 – 7:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Beth Siebert - Hi Emily,

      Thank you for commenting and it is nice to meet you. It is a tremendous benefit for us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

      First, it cuts the trips down from eight hours of driving to approximately two hours of flying. My son’s mitochondrial cytopathy is characterized by extremely low energy. For him to travel for eight hours in a car is exhausting but up in a plane for two hours and he is feeling great physically.

      Second, the pilots are such wonderful positive people. If Kristi ever lets me write again for this site (I require a lot of help from her so I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted a more seasoned talented writer.). I will share a story of one of the pilots whose daughter was born into the same NICU as Alex. Quite literally, we lived at the same hospital for a month together, in the same room, both praying our respective children would make it. Both children survived and he flies Angel Flight missions now in his spare time. The pilots are just so loving and accepting. It is such a positive emotional experience. You literally feel like you are in the hands of one of God’s Angels (Sorry so sappy but true.). So it is a very emotionally supportive experience.

      Third, just flying in the heavens is a very spiritual experience for me. You look down to the Earth and problems seem so tiny and the heavens vast, open, inviting to everyone who surveys them. It is almost a religious experience for me. There is also the rocking of the plane which makes some people airsick but for me it reminds me of being in the rocking chair holding Alex. Reminds Alex of it too because he often falls a sleep.

      Thank you for commenting and allowing me to share this awesome experience with you,April 28, 2015 – 8:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I have never heard of a doctor needing to sign off on flying? Is that because of the rare form of Autism that Alex has – or his other condition? I’ve taken my son up in the air a few times and it never occurred to me to clear it with his doctor. Uh-oh…April 29, 2015 – 7:34 amReplyCancel

  • Beth Siebert - Hi Allie,

    Great question!!!

    The medical clearance is because my son has severe medical complexities. I believe it is Angel Flight policy but do not quote me and I have had to get a medical clearance for my son to fly commercial when he was younger and more medically fragile so I could administer medicine in flight which was challenging when TSA had the “no liquid” rule. Fortunately, TSA worked with me, once I had medical clearances, and I could carry medicines, breast milk, etc.

    If your son does not requires medication administration and no one has asked then your are probably fine.

    Thanks for leaving the question and I bet your son loves flying in the heavens as much as Alex.April 29, 2015 – 10:53 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Wow, Angel Flights is the perfect name for this.
    I love that he sleeps through the bumpiness. I think I might too, if I were a less anxious flyer. Anxiety often has me tossing and turning or rocking a bit, at least when I was younger, so it would probably soothe me.April 29, 2015 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

    • Beth Siebert - It is very calming like a rocking chair. You’d probably love it if you needed the service. Besides the pilots are so calm cool and collected you’d leave your anxiety on the Tarmac upon take off.April 29, 2015 – 1:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - This is incredible! I love this story, its grace and compassion and practical problem solving. Thank you for sharing it!April 29, 2015 – 1:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Beth Siebert - It is a very wonderful loving charity. Thank you for reading and commenting but to be clear none of this would have been possible without the awesome advocate Kristi Rieger Campbell who took made my work shine and provided a forum for me to share our story. Thanks to Angel Flight, thanks to you for reading and commenting and thank you Kristi R. Campbell who unites us all with her huge fantastically loving and accepting heart.April 29, 2015 – 2:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Downgraded from Lady GaGa. Too cute. Air Charity Network is a wonderful organization that I hadn’t heard of before. I am glad to hear they in addition to taking patients on these flights that they are also genuinely caring people.May 1, 2015 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

    • Beth Siebert - Hello Kenya,

      It is true. My son’s heart belongs to Lady Gaga. She has reach! Although on take off and landing in the plane, when he is a little frightened, he remembers he loves his dear old Mum. He grabs me and hugs me.

      Air Charity Network also know as Angel Flight love their passengers. Everyone at Angel Flight I have met is super generous, kind hearted and sensitive. It is one of the most charitable organization I have encountered. Angel Flight is awesome.

      Thank you reading our story and leaving a comment.May 1, 2015 – 8:33 amReplyCancel

When I’m running errands, sorting through bills, or trying to remain present while playing with my son in grass and gravel, I wonder. I wonder about the what if’s and about the lives I am not living because I mostly live only this one. I wonder about the people I’ve walked away from, and about […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Allie - I wonder too – about all of it, for you and me. And damn, we kind of did it again, didn’t we? And how adorable it little tiny tucker:). ANd yes, find that mom. And call ME!April 23, 2015 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I believe that too, Kristi. I will hug my kids as they go to bed, and I hope that will make them smile. I know it will make me smile. I know you wonder if you are doing enough with Tucker…you are.April 23, 2015 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Make them smile and hang on to it!!! I know. I mean I mostly know. Sigh I never feel like it’s enough but thank you thank you!!April 23, 2015 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Jeannine Gallo - Hi Kristi.
    I believe I was meant to find your posts and follow your journey to help put things in perspective and to give hope.
    I believe that you are sharing difficult yet amazing experiences about Tucker’s beautiful life and helping so many others who can relate and may feel hopeless and lost.
    You are an AMAZING person and without knowing you, I feel blessed to be following you on this confusing, messy, enlightening, journey about our children finding their way. THANK YOU!April 23, 2015 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi, Jeannine,
      First, welcome and FIRST before welcome, thank you. I’m so so glad that you’ve found a place to feel less alone. I so hope that you know that by writing that you feel less alone, that I do as well. Here’s to being together and not feeling hopeless or lost – OR WHEN WE DO (because we will), having one another. Thank you so much for finding me. I’d love to hear more of your story, when you’re ready to share it, if you’d like. If not, that’s okay too because no judgement here and just hugs and mama love for those of us who need it sometimes and always. Because both are okay.April 23, 2015 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I wonder about life after death too…I also want to believe in it. And the “what ifs” is something I spend time thinking about too. In fact, a little chunk of my memoir is devoted to the “what if” I had made that ‘left’ turn instead of the ‘right.’? Which then makes me wonder if I’ll ever actually publish that memoir…April 23, 2015 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - For real? We need to talk. Seriously. I love that part of your memoir is the what if? It’s a pretty huge part of life, at least for some of us…April 23, 2015 – 11:37 pmReplyCancel

  • JT Walters - I wonder if the wonderful world changing Kristi Campbell will ever realize how much she has already changed our world, her world and Tucker’s world through her writing and advocacy?

    Why would superwoman ever question her own powers? For us mere earthlings on here we are in awe of you and wish we just had a piece or even a little string from your super cape!April 24, 2015 – 12:06 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Awwww!! How lovely are you with this sweet sweet comment?!?!? Thank you!April 24, 2015 – 5:45 pmReplyCancel

      • JT Walters - It is true. You are a super Mom!! I just wish you gave yourself credit sometimes. You have done a fantastic job changing the world one reader, one tear at a time. Thanks for your beautiful words!April 24, 2015 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Mimi - Kristi, this line: “I believe in Early Intervention, a mom’s intuition, and in the power of wishes and work and whimsy”could be my motto when it comes to my youngest child. I ran into his original speech therapist today, and every time I see her I just want to hug her because I believe without her early intervention, my son would not communicate with words in the same way he does now. We are still on our journey with his speech, but his road is all the smoother because of her.
    Thank you, Kristi, for helping this mom feel like someone out there gets it. I wonder what you would think about the tears and smiles you have brought me as I’ve read your posts and nodded along with every word you write. : )April 24, 2015 – 1:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Mimi! Reading that you Get It when it comes to speech and early intervention means the world to me. I wonder if you know how important your comment is to me and I wonder whether I have the words to thank you for sharing and reading and getting it. Thank you.April 24, 2015 – 10:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Reading this made me feel so incredibly lucky to know you and to count you as a friend and very important person in my life. The things you wonder about, the things you believe, the honesty, kindness, compassion, goodness that you are… it’s all right here. Thank you. xoxoApril 24, 2015 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow. Thank you Nicki. I wonder how I got so lucky to find you in this huge wide world.April 24, 2015 – 10:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Robin - I so feel what you feel, Kristi, so many of the “what ifs” and “am I doing enough?” and “do I have the strength”. It’s interesting, your question about whether it was easier when Tucker was younger and less aware. My son is 10 now, and there’s definitely this feeling, as they get a little older, when they start comparing. And start questioning And start wondering. Is it just me who is different? Is it just me who can’t sit still? Is it just me who gets anxious? Is it just me w/the food allergy and why? The question of “fairness” becomes evident to them, and there are so any things that just aren’t..it is so hard to know as a parent whether you are doing enough. Deep down we have to tell ourselves, we are… we are! A perfect version of you does exist, and that is you today. Now. The one with the not-so perfect sheets, and the dirt on her nails, has her priorities straight. Definitely! But more sleep–we mom’s need that, I’m working on that goal too!April 24, 2015 – 6:31 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Robin,
      Love this comment! Thank you! It’s true though, I think, that it does get harder as our kids learn about fairness and differences and just all of that… Tucker never seemed to be aware of his delays before and now seems to be hyper-aware. Or, maybe, he’s always been aware, and now has the language to express it. Either way – hard! The day he asked me what a weirdo was almost broke my heart…
      Here’s to being who we are and learning to accept that it’s enough and here’s to finding a way to get more sleep!!!April 24, 2015 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Marisa - We all have the wonders and the doubt too doing the best we can sometimes isn’t good enough, sometimes it’s all we have…you’re a great mom.April 24, 2015 – 6:50 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Marisa, and you’re right – most of us are just doing the best we can, regardless of circumstance.April 24, 2015 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Don’t wonder, know. Know that your love and your advocacy and your educating yourself will make sure that as Tucker becomes more “aware” he will not think of himself as broken but perfect Tucker. Because he is perfectly him, and that is what you are teaching him as you dig in the dirt to find worms (ew) as you work within the school to get him the best education possible, you are not treating him any different than you would a “typical” son. Because he is typical, he’s yours and he is as unbroken as can be.April 24, 2015 – 8:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Agree that digging to find worms is gross but the expression on his face when he finds one? At least it’s not spiders! And thanks… we know he’s not broken, but sometimes the little kids on the bus well… I know you know. xoxoApril 24, 2015 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - I so love all this. My children have struggles too and as mom you want them to believe anything is possible. xoxoApril 24, 2015 – 10:03 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - “I wonder whether I’m doing enough to help Tucker know that he has the power to change the world. I wonder how to help myself know the same.” <– so powerful. Because really, a lot of it affects us and takes belief on our part as well. I truly believe each person no matter what has an opportunity to change the world, and sometimes when we don't have the same advantages as others, it pushes even more so to compensate and do even more amazing things.April 24, 2015 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree that everybody has the power to change the world, Nina and thank you for your awesome comment! 🙂April 24, 2015 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Beautiful post Kristi. I hope you can find that mom or she at least finds you. I can’t imagine the despair of someone to say “I give up” in regards to their child.

    LOVE the, “Where’s Tucker?” video.April 24, 2015 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya, I hope I find her too. I still kick myself for not hanging up on the work call to listen better and say something (although would I have said something? I get shy in those things…). I can’t imagine either. I think I’ve seen the boy at the bus stop but I’m not sure.April 24, 2015 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Lovely. All those important questions we ask ourselves so beautifully stated.April 24, 2015 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

  • K - What a gorgeous post. Praying that that mom finds her way to you and your words somehow…your blog has made such a profound difference in the lives of so many.

    And I teared up a bit at the part about your son telling you that his mouth is broken. I hope someday he realizes that no part of him is broken at all, regardless of whether he can articulate all of his sounds. I remember when I realized that my disability was a Forever Thing and it’s a hard thing to stomach. Sometimes I still feel broken — sometimes we ALL do, right? — but our challenges shape us…if we let them, they make us . In the end, the L’s don’t really matter. The world is a better place because you and Tucker are in it, just the way you are.April 24, 2015 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - K – I so always love your perspective and look forward to it so much! I so hope that he also realizes that he’s not broken – just a little bit different but, like you have said and know, it’s hard when you’re a little kid who realizes that you’re different. I can’t stand that part actually. I wish differences were just like hair color or something – each of us has gifts and struggles. You’re right – in the end, the L’s don’t matter… and thank you. The world is better because I know YOU <3April 24, 2015 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Words and actions are powerful things…but sometimes all it takes is a certain look, and that can speak volumes. I’ve wandered down that ‘ I wonder if…” road so many times and have finally come to accept that I’m right where I was intended to be. No other life I can imagine would be better than this, despite the bumpy ride.April 24, 2015 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree that no other life would be the one we’re supposed to be living, but wow is it fun and weird to wonder at times!April 24, 2015 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • ivy - I suspect the “what ifs” and “am I doing enoughs” persist through a lifetime despite any of the qualities of your children. Cuz it has to do with being a mom … not with being a kid. And take my word… it hasnt stopped yet and my kid has at least 20 years on yours. Just keep doing what your doing and hold on tight… its working. THat boy of yours is gonna fly even higher than he already does now!April 25, 2015 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you Ivy!!! Am I doing enough is so hard. Because the answer is always yes and also no and I like that you still feel the same with yours being 20++. Thank you. xxooApril 26, 2015 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - What Ivy said. I just do the best I can, knowing that I will make mistakes, and hope that God will make everything right in the end.April 25, 2015 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That video is of the cutest videos I’ve ever seen! Chock full of communication.
    Your afterlife paragraph chilled me. I know sometimes the deep thinkers/writers think deep/writerly things and wonder if anyone else thinks those things, but then realizes we all probably do.
    My afterlife thoughts are ones I wonder if I’m alone in. I couldn’t possibly be!April 26, 2015 – 4:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw I think so too and thank you!!! Maybe we all realize that the afterlife is scary… I want WANT so much to know it’s true, but part of me? Sigh.April 27, 2015 – 10:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Also I love your ideas on deep thinkers/writers think deep/ writerly things. xxoo big huge.April 27, 2015 – 10:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - I so agree that communication often occurs without a single word!!
    I think there is an afterlife – this is something that my 16 year old has been talking about a lot lately.April 26, 2015 – 7:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I do now *know* from seeing some of my friends’ special needs kids that communication exists without words, even at older ages. For Tucker, it definitely did before he was ever able to speak and wow – that’s awesome that your 16yo has been talking about the afterlife. I think kids are more sure than we are at times. But the we think about being moms and we have to be sure…April 27, 2015 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Ah, the pee on the rim! I regret to tell you, my friend, that that almost never goes away! 😛
    I used to indulge in ‘what’if’s too but I believe that we are all doing the best we can! And, I know that you are, for sure!!May 1, 2015 – 2:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - UGH to the pee on the rim!! Here’s to us just doing our best – it’s enough!May 3, 2015 – 12:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy - Well, hello Sunday morning tears. Fucking beautiful, Kristi. That’s all I’ve got.May 3, 2015 – 9:21 amReplyCancel

  • Carin Kilby Clark - I love this! And yes, we all have the power. This is such a beautiful post. Thanks so much for sharing with us. xoMay 5, 2015 – 7:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Honey - I would love to have a long chat with that boy on the bus and that mom! I’m sad that that boy is going up without compassion. The world is a hard enough place. And what if you are doing exactly what you are suppose to be doing in this moment and it’s this! All this!May 6, 2015 – 8:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Me too Sarah! I’m still upset about it although the school did an amazing job handling it quickly and gracefully. Still GRRRR!!! xoMay 21, 2015 – 6:19 pmReplyCancel

On the last day of normal, my husband took a photo of my swollen belly, just before we went to dinner. We ordered extravagantly from the chichi menu at our non-kid-friendly favorite restaurant. “Can you believe that tomorrow, at this time, we’ll have a baby?” I said. “Let’s keep us,” he said. And I agreed. But […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Nicki - Sigh. I can’t get enough of this. I’ve read it over and over… then and now again. Such a beautiful, calming perspective. I feel like I can breathe for the first time today after reading this. “The first day of the world was today.” Thank you darling Kristi.
    And how wonderful it is to host FTSF with you and Jena. Love and gratitude. xxxApril 16, 2015 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you Nicki! Love and gratitude to you and Jena for agreeing to co-host. Truly, thank you. I hope the first day of the world was a good one for you today!April 17, 2015 – 8:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I totally get the first and last days of the world situations — we’ve had a few of those and they can be both really, really good and really, really bad. Either way, it’s like you said: the last day of the world is often the first. Yes, so true! And your pictures above? Always a treat, especially the one with the thought bubbles. 🙂April 16, 2015 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, to the really really good and really really bad… Thanks for liking the photos 🙂 And for your awesome-as-always comment 🙂April 17, 2015 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I have just recently started thinking of lasts as firsts – do you think that comes with age? How breathtaking to follow you on this journey of your life that you tell with your words.April 16, 2015 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dana,
      I dunno if it comes from age but probably. When we’re young, it’s so easy to just focus on the next first, or on the heartbreaking ending of what’s last that is hard to remember later… or something like that.April 17, 2015 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - OK, Robert’s mole. Never knew that, and though it seems entirely beside the point, could the timing have been worse? Good that it’s fixed. Enough for now.
    Yeah. Birth is the end of one world. A familiar and easier one but not one I’d want back either.April 16, 2015 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sarah,
      Yeah, the timing was horrible. It’s okay enough for now… which is enough, for now. Isn’t it weird how having a baby changes us so much? I guess it’s not weird – it’s how It Should Be but still… the things we think we’ll be like…April 17, 2015 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • La Dale - Ugh, this got me thinking so much about how Johanna’s birth was the end of so many things for me, including my mother’s life, but the beginning of Christ pouring down his grace into my life. And then there were tears. Darn you lady for making me sob! Great post!April 16, 2015 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry for the tears, La Dale! But it’s true right? I mean the new beginnings are so much more blessed than the last days. The last days should be loved and appreciated too, but the new ones? Are now! 🙂April 17, 2015 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle AKA Crumpets and Bollocks - I too have had many last days of one world before beginning another, and all 3 of my girls coming into this world was one of those days. Great post. So glad you were able to notice your husband’s mole. You probably saved his life.April 16, 2015 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Michelle,
      Thanks! I know about the last days – you’ve had a lot. I’ve had a lot. I guess we all have and yeah, I’m really really REALLY glad I noticed his mole, too. Even if the timing kinda sucked.April 17, 2015 – 11:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Jena - I am so lucky to be here with you. On the last day, and the first. You inspire me so.April 16, 2015 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m so lucky you said yes to co-hosting, Jena. Thank you. For you, for your groups, for your words.April 17, 2015 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

  • April G - Beautiful. So touching. I’m still not sure which way I’ll take this prompt. I can definitely agree that the birth of my son really changed my life and the last day of my old life was gone and now my life is anew.April 16, 2015 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - April, you took the prompt exactly where you should have – to you and your life and your sweet baby’s photo! And yeah, birth changes us, so so much…April 17, 2015 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • ruchira - Wow! just plain wow!
    I so absolutely loved your take on this prompt.

    So beautiful and so apt and so everything!

    xoxoApril 16, 2015 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much Ruchira! I’m so happy to read that you loved it. That means the world to me!April 17, 2015 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - You always manage to express what I feel. Spot on, my friend. I like to look at life this way. ..every end is also a beginning. I have found that to be true over and over many times.April 17, 2015 – 1:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that we feel the same feels, Lisa! We MUST meet up at Dutch Wonderland this summer! And yeah, I like to remember that each ending is a beginning as well. It makes them easier and more beautiful, I think.April 17, 2015 – 11:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Those words!!! The last day of the world is often the first. Wow. This was so beautiful. I wish I had thought of such a way to finish the sentence. Smh at the awesomeness of this post and the meme. Love it.

    Btw we’ve talked about this before about how we think unrationale and the worst of things might happen, so I totally felt for you when Robert had his surgery. I know you were thinking way beyond necessary. 😉April 17, 2015 – 6:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya! Still time to link up, my friend! And um what is smh??? Gawd, I’m a moron when it comes to that stuff. You, however are fleek (on fleek??). It’s true though right? I mean the last day stuff? And I know what you mean about thinking about the worst of things and thank you for getting where I went with the dumb thoughts… yup. Exactly.April 17, 2015 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - This is just absolutely gorgeous. There’s so many things in life that can completely change the course of things, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. It may feel like the end of your world, but it can also mean the beginning of a new and different life. Beautiful take on the prompt!April 17, 2015 – 7:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you, Bev! I LOVED your take on the prompt and thank you for your sweet comment. It’s so true that the end of our worlds are the beginnings of new lives.April 17, 2015 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Kristi! How adorable are you with the big ole belly?!?!?! And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of your husband? So handsome. And, as always, beautiful words. Succinct and eloquent – and inspiring. I kind of needed them today. Today is the first day off crazy season, and I shall change my attitude and be grateful for the chaos. Now I’m off to the special Olympics, in the rain. And I will not curse the powers that be, as the rain pelts down on me, for not cancelling. Should be interesting – according to B’s teacher, everyone is complaining that B shouldn’t be able to rub the 50 yard dash this year, because he’s now a professional!April 17, 2015 – 8:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie! Are you kidding that people are saying Bear can’t run because he’s now a “professional???” People are so weird (and mean and stupid) sometimes. Argh! Sorry about the rain though. It’s not fun any time you have to be out in it unless it’s on purpose (like if you’re drinking wine and decide to dance in it which I only maybe did once in NYC with my friend and it wasn’t dancing, it was running in Central Park)… You’ve never seen a pic of Robert? Wow. He is handsome. 🙂 And thank you!April 17, 2015 – 11:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom - Another moving post. I related most to your husband’s cancer. I just had a wide local excision to have an evolving mole removed. As I went to the doctor’s appts and outpatient surgery and then recuperated, I could only laugh every time I remembered what one doctor told me. “You will not die from melanoma now,” he said. “Because you will find it early.” Double edged sword, that.April 17, 2015 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Katy,
      I’m so sorry about your mole removal recently. It’s SO scary and finding it early… well… yes, huge double edged sword.April 17, 2015 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - No worries about that prayer, sweet friend. It is already gone, with your first breath of hope. I’ve had that same prayer many times…

    Every end of the world can take us to new heights of living really. Funny how that happens- from the deepest depths to the greatest heights. I’m so glad your hubs is okay. And You found grace and giving in Kindergarten. And that Tucker is growing up beautifully, just as he is. And for second chances… oh there are so many of them that feel like the first day of the world. Thank God for them.April 17, 2015 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris! You’ve had that same prayer???? Thank you!!! For real???
      And yes, from the deepest depths to the greatest heights. I love that expression. I’m glad that Robert is okay too and that we did find grace in kindergarten. I wasn’t sure that’d be the case, but it’s been wonderful. Thank God for all of the first days. And you.April 17, 2015 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Love the pictures so much! And “the last day of the world is often the first” is an amazing statement, full of all kinds of layers and interesting ways it can be applied to life. Love it!April 17, 2015 – 4:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Elizabeth! Here’s to life and all of the first days ahead of us!April 17, 2015 – 11:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - You never cease to amaze me with what you write from these “finish the sentence” prompts. This is another example of one of your thought-provoking, beautifully written, poignant posts. I hope that from now on, every day will feel like a new world, filled with love and so much happiness!April 18, 2015 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Marcia, you should link up with us one of these weeks! I need to post the new schedule… sigh. I’m so behind. Anyway thank yoU!!April 18, 2015 – 11:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Beautiful, Kristi! Interesting to think that each and every day could be the last day of something AND the first day of something else – maybe something better. And, that. sometimes, what we think is the end of the world really isn’t – just the beginning of a new one. I don’t talk much about religion, but your line about taking back that prayer got to me. The God I believe in doesn’t do “take backs” because he doesn’t have to. When you prayed that prayer, he knew what was in your future – he knew about Tucker and what a strong, beautiful mama you would be. He knows now that you didn’t mean that prayer – or that you don’t mean it anymore. He hears the spoken and the unspoken. He knows. No need for take backs. Let that go, XOXOApril 18, 2015 – 9:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Lisa! I think it’s true – what feels like the end of the world, at the time, is so often the beginning of whatever’s coming next, but also can be scary and painful. Thank you too for your thoughts on prayers and “take backs” and how He doesn’t have to… I’m trying to let that go. It’s hard though, that I ever even thought it… but again, thank you.April 18, 2015 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • alisa/icescreammama - love this. so touching. it’s all about the firsts and the lasts.. but there’s also a lot in the middle. 🙂April 18, 2015 – 9:16 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - Wow.
    I just read this with my breath held, as I often read your posts, and you made me feel so many things that I feel depleted of words. I think that this is such an incredible interpretation of the prompt and every word hit home. I believe the old prayer was forgotten or dismissed. My child prays for so many sily things as have I. Those we pray to understand. Giant hug to you.April 18, 2015 – 7:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Katia,
      Giant hugs to YOU and thank you for the reminder of what we pray for as children and adults and for getting it. Sigh. Thank you.April 18, 2015 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - It seems like every stage of like brings us a new first day and another last day. Some of the first days bring great new adventures and some of them aren’t so good.
    I feel like I’m reaching a point in my mom journey where the lasts are coming too fast and the firsts are all about letting go.April 18, 2015 – 8:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Here’s to new adventures and to the journey. GAH, though to the lasts coming too fast. To letting go. Sigh. Also huge stuff though.April 18, 2015 – 11:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Ack, the mole!! So, so glad he DID go to the doctor.
    There was never an us to keep.. we were married and then I was pregnant. I don’t know an us really – we’ve been out of order and building it now.
    It’s kinda fun actually.April 18, 2015 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, ack the mole. FKFUKFKKK. But yeah, so glad he went. You’ve had an us. I promise. It’s maybe just harder to isolate now that you’re so much a we, and that’s perfectly perfect, too, ya know?April 18, 2015 – 11:38 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - **If you know how to take back a prayer, meant at the time but not meant now, please tell me because it becoming true would be the end of this world, for me. And I’m not ready yet.**

    If I wasn’t married, I think I’d want to marry you…Um, your writing that is!!

    Xx
    from MN.April 19, 2015 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Every day something new! This made me think of all the endings that were beginnings in my life too!
    I’m sure your prayer was canceled then and there because!!April 19, 2015 – 2:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Isn’t it amazing how the endings are beginnings? Pretty cool when you think about it… thanks, Roshni!April 19, 2015 – 6:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy Christi - This is so beautiful, and so true. The only consistent thing in life is change, the end of That way, the start of This way. Not what we expected, but what we learn to live with. Then as we’re getting the hang of it, it changes again. But like you already know, there is beauty and perfection in all of it.April 19, 2015 – 9:57 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - Oh this made me SO nostalgic! I loved it!April 19, 2015 – 12:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Seana Turner - What an eloquent post! We all have these firsts & lasts… over and over, don’t we? As for the prayer, no need to worry on that one. The Spirit intercedes for, so God knew what you felt at that moment, but also what you would feel in a future moment, and He’s not stuck in time:)April 20, 2015 – 12:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Seana!
      We do have the firsts and lasts over and over… I appreciate the reassurance that God knows and is not stuck in time.April 20, 2015 – 7:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Eli@CoachDaddy - The beauty of this post is in the rawness of it. Beginnings and endings often meld together, and it’s hard to know which is toughest to manage – the beginnings or the ends.

    I know for a fact not all prayers are answered, and isn’t that a great thing? If all prayers were answered, I’d have married Kim Plato from Diff’rent Strokes when I was 9 and I’d never have had the three beautiful daughters I have today.

    Much love to you.April 21, 2015 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks for putting it all into perspective, Eli. If my 12yo ones were answered, I’d have alimony and a few babies from Billy Idol now, and if my 19yo ones were, would be living with Lars from Metallica. Here’s to your beautiful daughters and my amazing little boy and to our unanswered prayers.April 21, 2015 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Tarana Khan - Kristi, this gave me goosebumps because I could feel your emotions seep through your words. Thanks for sharing your story, and never stop writing!April 22, 2015 – 2:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you thank you, Tarana! I really really appreciate your encouragement!!April 23, 2015 – 7:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb - You! You always write such amazing, inventive posts with Ftsf. I wish we could always realize the end of one world so we could savor the last moments the way you did at dinner. Perhaps that’s an argument for savoring every moment. HmmmmApril 22, 2015 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I wish we could remember to savor the moments and thank you, sweets!! Thinking about you!April 23, 2015 – 7:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - And I’m going to say Fuck That too.
    God I love you to the moon and all the way back. I hope that you know that.
    I needed to read this. xoxoApril 22, 2015 – 4:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kim my sweets! The words Fuck That are just awesome. Freeing. And I love you huge – maybe even to Pluto which now I can’t remember if it’s still a star or it went back to planet or back to star from star to planet but it’s far away and I love you that much. xxooApril 23, 2015 – 7:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - This was SO beautiful Kristi! I seriously loved it. Great job articulating the fragile nature of this life, and being a parent. 🙂April 24, 2015 – 7:27 pmReplyCancel

Some weeks, it’s hard to know what thankful is. It hides among the leaves and today’s between winter and not winter and too-cold mornings and too-hot afternoons. The too-cold mornings and the too-hot afternoons are annoying, but, between them, there is comfort and peace and the perfect temperature and the perfect blend between errands run, playing, doing, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Dana - The video made me smile – which is tough to do at 6:45 in the morning! That is big. Congrats on the book – you’re going to have your own section in the bookstore soon! And I think you should move closer to me:)April 13, 2015 – 6:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Whoot so a win for little Tuck Man who is maybe almost as tall as you and freaks me out every day how much taller he is than his friends no offense love you etc.April 13, 2015 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww I love the video. He’s doing good! I know you were beaming on the inside! The cute bow. I know there’s a name for it but we’ll call it the cute bow. Happy house hunting. I LOVE looking at houses. Except for when I was nine weeks pregnant and we were looking for this one and seemingly everyone’s house smelled bad. This one had plug-ins all over the place and was vacant. I was able to smell past that 😉April 13, 2015 – 6:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love the video too and he IS he IS doing so so good. Sigh. I was huge beaming. I don’t know that there’s a better word than cute bow so that’s official now.
      You were pg when house hunting??? ME TOO although I didn’t know it and was like 2 weeks but the smells and the thes?? OMG . Glad you found yours that had smelling past it with it!! LOL 🙂April 13, 2015 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - So much here to comment on! Congratulations on getting into the book. I’m still kicking myself for not trying – but life always seems to get in my way…or I’m just lazy. I think this book is going to be awesome. I think it’ll help a lot of new moms.

    Yay for Tucker and Tae Kwon Do! My kids just started taking it in February – they love it. It’s already improved their lives – that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. They’re obeying more and being more respectful and they’re self-esteem seems to be higher too. They’re participating in ways they didn’t before. It’s expensive, but we’re seeing that it’s totally worth it. So excited for Tucker! And don’t you keep thinking they’re saying “ass-kick” all the time? Haha!

    Good luck on the house hunt. I quite enjoy looking for houses. Selling, not so much, but the hunt is fun. Are you looking in your same city or elsewhere?April 13, 2015 – 8:42 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well Duh you should come more often and stuff. I kicked myself for not trying for the last one so had to for this one and yeah.. I think it’ll help, too. And really about the TKD?? It’s seriously doing amazing things for Tucker, too!!! It’s SO expensive (we just paid for a year after a cheap trial month) but OMG really it’s amazing. It doesn’t sound ridiculous at all that it’s improved your kids’ lives – I completely believe that. Tucker has new respect and confidence that he didn’t have just a month ago!!
      HAHAH to “ass-kick!” You SWORE (sortof) 🙂
      I love looking for houses to but yeah, the selling? Sucks to hide a freaking hair dryer much less the cheetos and the mess…April 13, 2015 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - PS Same city. Town house now with crap back yard. I want a yard. And a stupid garden where I can grow stuff or something like it 😉April 13, 2015 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - OMG that is freaking incredible. Go Tucker!!!! I’m thinking that is a wicked milestone to be celebrated. Just like you, published author again. Congrats on the book, my friend. You so deserve it!April 13, 2015 – 9:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - IT IS SO a wicked (love Boston and Cape for this word) milestone. HUGE big. Especially after he told me he’s broken because he can’t say L. Fuck.April 13, 2015 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - I love the video – he’s doing it. As for the L comment – :(. I cannot even imagine what that did to your heart, but please assure him that is not so! My youngest, almost 8 – still can’t say his “ch” sound. But we keep on trying. Finally, I didn’t know you were thinking of moving?!? Where? When? Why? Email me!April 13, 2015 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, the L comment has me broken a little bit although not HIM because he just rolls with it. Still, that he said that tears me apart. sigh.

      The house – here, we live in a town house bought in 2008 when it was the WORST time to buy. Now is a good time to buy so shopping for better backyards even though we put way too much into this remodel (walls torn down new kitchen and 4 new bathrooms) I hate moving but LOVE looking at houses… Let’s just talk on phone?April 13, 2015 – 11:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Video – awesome. Tucker – even more awesome. My middle dude did Tae Kwon Do for a few years. I love them in those white outfits – so cute, but I guess that’s not the point. Anyway, HUGE congrats on the anthology! I can’t wait to read your piece! And, we always house hunt – mostly online, but my husband (who is in real estate, although the commercial end) loves to look at houses. He says it relaxes him. 🙂April 13, 2015 – 1:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Em and yes, Tucker – awesome. You and the three dudes – awesome. Also the point is a little bit at least the outfits because Tucker needs that to even go..
      You always house hunt??? I kinda love that about you even more. It’s really fun actually.April 13, 2015 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Oh, yay for Tucker!!! That video made me smile – he is awesome. Congrats to you on the book, too!!!April 13, 2015 – 4:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - Love this – so awesome that Tucker enjoys TaeKwonDo and is learning all the kicks. I love the discipline that martial arts teaches any of us who are willing to learn!!
    And, it is always fun to look at houses!April 13, 2015 – 7:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I LOVE LOVE that he’s learning the kicks, too. There’s something about a person besides me (weep?) asking him to do stuff that just WORKS. Thank you!!April 13, 2015 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Ivy - Betcha he can say L in Korean!THere are a million ways to say L! HOW AWESOME IS THAT FREAKING VIDEO???? He stayed on task and didnt stray even when the teacher had to! MY MAN!!!!April 13, 2015 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL what the eff is L in Korean and you’re probably right – I should mention that to him because duh confidence. He’s so your little man – I told him earlier this week that I hadn’t heard back from you and he asked about some random dude named Skip?? Who Dat? 😉
      (and for real, he did and how awesome is that)April 13, 2015 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

      • ivy - Go to google translate. Put in L ….choose korean and hit the little megaphone. I did it it works. HOOPLA skip makes his mark! Sorry I didn’t get back. Crap lately. ….gets me tired just thinking about it. Its stabilizing though.April 14, 2015 – 5:50 amReplyCancel

  • clark - (hey, I took martial arts… back in the day… he is getting it (the flexibility etc comes with time, in my case a very long time)… you can see the focus (even through a video camera frame)….

    congrats on the being in the (new) Anthology!! v cool, yoApril 13, 2015 – 9:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Martial arts is awesome – my brother is a triple black belt. I think Sho De kawn (spell??), juditsu and um something else but whatever Tucker totally rocks. The flexibility is HARD right??? Thanks yo 😉April 13, 2015 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy - Awesome video! And Lord, woman, but you write like a dream. I love the intimacy of it. You’re amazing.April 14, 2015 – 7:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Can I frame this quote and put it on my wall to hug me when I feel like a loser who can’t think of anything to write? Yes, yes I can. Thank you Sandy. You win my favorite comment.April 14, 2015 – 6:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Well done to Tucker. And well done to you, getting an essay in the anthology. And, just for being you!April 14, 2015 – 9:01 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Congratulations on your essay being accepted, that is awesome! I hope Tucker continues to enjoy the martial arts!April 14, 2015 – 10:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hope he continues to enjoy martial arts, too, Elizabeth. He never really wants to go when it’s time but always has fun once he gets there!April 14, 2015 – 7:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Ninja Tucker! That is so wonderful! I’ve been thinking of you lately and hoping the best for your step-daughter.April 14, 2015 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - You’re a ninja too. I wanted so badly to submit to that book but my story belonged elsewhere. Maybe next time I’ll find one within me.
    Kids are funny. Scarlet needs to take extra reading classes at school because she’s always daydreaming. She won’t eat her dinner because she’s always daydreaming.
    She’s me!
    We’re all ninjas.April 14, 2015 – 7:14 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - –What a blessing Tucker is.
    And God knew you’d be a KICK ASS Mommy, an advocate, and a voice for many.
    Also, Congrats on your essay!
    Yes, I do love the cover of that book! xxxApril 15, 2015 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He IS such a blessing! Thanks for the congrats and for loving the cover of the book and for being just so awesome overall!! xxApril 19, 2015 – 7:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - Oh, how I love watching Tucker kick! He is SO obviously following directions and waiting patiently when the teacher talks to the other boys. Way to go, you darling boy!April 17, 2015 – 1:06 amReplyCancel

When I think about being 14 years old, I think about the tacky, fluorescent beauty of the 80’s, about unreciprocated crushes, and about finding out that my mom was having an affair with my brother’s hockey coach. It’s funny how memories that happened so long ago can feel like yesterday and also like the fog […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Dana - That’s heavy stuff with your mom…I can’t imagine dealing with that now, much less at 14. But I know what you mean about life just beginning. We didn’t feel that way at 14, though. Or I didn’t. I felt like life hadn’t started yet, as I’m sure most teenagers do. And I wore electric blue mascara that was horribly awesome.April 9, 2015 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Isn’t it weird how we didn’t feel like that back then? That blue mascara was awesome and not horrible and that life was just starting? I kinda miss that feeling even though being 14 sorta sucked 🙂April 9, 2015 – 11:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I wish I would do some of the carefree things I did as a tween before I was actually allowed to do stuff. I had a decent size room but I kept my record player in my closet which was a walk thru to the bathroom. I used to lay in the bottom of the closet and listen to music hours at a time. Fourteen was definitely not my best social year.April 9, 2015 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Fourteen I think was maybe nobody’s best social year?? I mean talk about awkward. Why the record player in the closet? More privacy?April 9, 2015 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - Well I do remember doodling on the wall there where no one could see. So listening to music. Writing poetry. And my first name with whoever’s last name I was in love with at the time.April 10, 2015 – 7:28 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - OOH doodling on the wall? You naughty girl! 🙂 Do you still have any of the poetry? You should use it in a blog post if you do. I love reading stuff that I wrote as a teenager – it’s so bad that it’s funny.April 10, 2015 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

          • Kenya G. Johnson - I do think I have everything on the actual typed paper. I think most of them are good, so I would be hurt if someone gave the comments section the silent treatment. LOL. I’ll most likely not share it.April 10, 2015 – 5:54 pm

  • Emily - I miss that feeling too, of life just beginning. In hindsight, it felt so much less stressful and yet, maybe it wasn’t. I know I was also a moody, emotional teenager who was always lamenting something and that in itself is also stressful. So, like you, I’m happy I’m not 14 anymore and yet it is fun to reflect on who we were…April 9, 2015 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It so felt less stressful, in hindsight anyway! Maybe more so now though because we were so figuring out who we were, right? But man, that lamenting stuff felt pretty good, didn’t it???April 9, 2015 – 11:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - How weird is it that every time I hear Billy I think of you? Or that we were both freshman and 14 in 1985 entering the not so much hallmark years. Or that we both would not go back for one red cent but yet are happy we can now look at that hair and not puke in our mouths 🙂April 9, 2015 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - How weird is it that I LOVE that you hear Billy and think of me?? I sortof miss the hair. I mean not really because yes to puking in our mouths but Gawd I kinda miss those days!!April 9, 2015 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - Yes, what was with that blue eyeshadow at 14? Oh my god. I wore it as well but only to dances. My sister plastered it on my eyes and I thought I was oh, so, cool. Nevermind I looked 10.April 9, 2015 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Blue eyeshadow was like fairy dust back in the 80’s. Never mind you were 14 or looked 10 or 8. That stuff was pure magic and pretty much a law.April 9, 2015 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom - I’m writing about babysitting and Billy Idol today, too. Oh, and how I didn’t much like being 14 also! I feel much more comfortable in my 40s, but I do still think we probably carry around that awkward 14 year old inside us more than we think.April 10, 2015 – 8:12 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re right about us carrying around that awkward teen inside of us more than we realize. Isn’t it weird how we still can feel the way we felt then? Time is a funny thing.April 10, 2015 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Alliw - I wish we’d known each other when we where fifteen. “I didn’t yet know that truly living is much too vague of an idea to ever own,” how could we? I’m still trying to figure it out. And your conclusion, about an unplanned life unfolding as it should? Well, that’s genius!April 10, 2015 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Me too Allie! I might have gotten you into trouble though…. Here’s to our unplanned lives! xoApril 10, 2015 – 5:44 pmReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Fourteen was a really awkward stage for me, too. But I do miss believing that ANYTHING was possible for my future and dreaming of all those wonderful possibilities is what kept the motivated to move forward.April 10, 2015 – 8:49 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I miss wondering how I’d turn out and feeling like I could be anything! I suppose we still can be anything but it gets more complicated than it is at 14. Thanks Marcia!April 10, 2015 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - OMGOSH, I just wrote an essay about how much I LOATHED babysitting, on the other hand, Billy Idol ROCkS.

    I don’t know you….But I love you.

    xxxxApril 10, 2015 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - 14 was rough for me – the only good thing about it is that was the year I started running cross country and track – something that I happened to be good at:)April 10, 2015 – 1:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I sucked at track and cross country but LOVE that it was the time when you found your life’s passion (and now Hunter! how cool is that???)April 10, 2015 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Hey, but I am ALL ABOUT the high-waisted pants again. Just no pleats, please. Like the Z. Cavaricci’s I wore. Egads!April 10, 2015 – 6:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You are??? For real??? Pleats made them cool. You wore Z. Cavaricci’s??? You were SUPER COOL. My coolest was Guess.April 10, 2015 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I definitely miss that – feeling invincible and that life was still beginning. It was almost as fun as life actually.. happening. The prospect of it.
    Maybe it’s still beginning.
    When I was 14 I had a crush on a girl! That had never happened before that and has only vaguely happened since. Her best friend was a boy and I wanted him even more. But he wanted my best friend.
    So there was that.April 10, 2015 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Gawd I miss feeling that life was just now too. Just starting and so much. The prospect. Your crush on a girl. That happened. I love that. So there was life. Then. All of it.April 11, 2015 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Ha! I loved Billy Idol, too, though being a little older than you, my vivid memories of that fluorescence comes from working at Disneyland – there were a lot of guests in bright orange and green with “Wham! U.K.” sweatshirts, lol! 😀April 11, 2015 – 11:46 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Billy Idol. I miss the neon a little bit. Or at least a time in history when that was cool!April 11, 2015 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Risky Business RayBans… this is my new favorite phrase. It encompasses EVERYTHING. I used to lie on the floor and listen to Forever Young by Alphaville… I feel nostalgic for that every day. But oh to the cracks in that RayBan perfection that prepared us for the cracks in life… the truest thing ever. L’chaim. Thank you for your beautiful words and self.April 11, 2015 – 9:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG Nicki, that song Forever Young. I love love LOVE it to this day. I hear the first two notes and I am again a teen (although an older one than you were at the time). Thank you. Thank you.April 11, 2015 – 10:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh and congrats for being featured in another book!April 13, 2015 – 6:59 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Ah, yes! 14..or as I like to refer to it, the beginning of the end. It had it’s great moments but navigating that time in life can most definitely suck. It’s the hardest and as my youngest daughter gets closer to it the more I remember it. I don’t know if I will be able to impart my wisdom on to her and let her know it might be awful at times but those times will pass and things will get better…not always, but mostly. She’s a different kid than I was though. I’m totally taking credit for that ;).

    I miss the 80s too…all that neon. I think you and I would have been fast and furious friends, Kristi.April 14, 2015 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

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