Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Sometimes, I think about how different childhood looked in the 80’s and 90’s from how it looks today. Technology, now so easily accessible, has changed our worlds. It’s changed how we parent, given us reasons to stay at home when our children are young and an equal amount of reasons about how important it is […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Sandy Ramsey - Once again you nail it! This was my childhood too. I love to see the looks on my kids’ faces when I tell them how things were when I was their ages, describing some of the very things in this post. It was so different but it was freaking FANTASTIC! Yes, advantages technology offer are nice and often amazing but I wouldn’t trade those good ol’ days for anything In the world.February 12, 2015 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really was fantastic, wasn’t it??? I mean REALLY fucking fantastic. Sigh. I wouldn’t trade the good ol’ days either. 🙂February 12, 2015 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I kinda miss the 80s too…long live cowbells being rung from the front porch!!February 12, 2015 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Right? I know there is the good stuff now, and that someday, our boys will say to their own children (I hope) “when I was a kid, I had to…” but man, it does feel so different.February 12, 2015 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I wish I could put my kids in the car when they’re misbehaving in a restaurant. Seriously, it worked for everyone back in the day, didn’t it?February 12, 2015 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It so did! AND!!! I remember my mom running into the grocery store without us. I wish I could do that. Seriously. It’s like 10 minutes and it takes that long to unstrap and go in and talk about no toys or yes toys and bleh. I’d love to leave him in the car for that! Except you know. Safety and arrest and stuff.February 12, 2015 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

      • Sarah - I know! Grocery store runs are the worst! My mother has this story of the time she left my brother and about five other cousins in the car, and someone released the emergency brake. She saw it rolling into the street as she was checking out.February 12, 2015 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Yaaaassss to all of these! I love your descriptions—so vivid. I swear, I did every one of these things….and I miss the simpler times.February 12, 2015 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Man, you rock these! I would never have thought to take it this way. I’m finishing mine and I hope it’s not weird. I got stuck on the band camp thing for like three days and then finally moved off it.
    Anyway.
    This is brilliant and yeah, it was a different world. All of those things you list…been there, done that. Except maybe the PBR in the car! But the way back, no car seats or belts, chicken pox…a different world and a different time.
    Our kids will have their own stories, though. They will. I can see it with my youngest sister – I’m fourteen years older than she is and her memories are nothing like mine, but she has awesome ones all her own.
    These kids? Like our Tucker and Kidzilla? They are going to have serious stories to tell.February 12, 2015 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yours was NOT weird at ALL and I love it mucho mucho! You’re right that our kids will have their own stories. I can’t WAIT to read about Kidz and T’s stories!February 13, 2015 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - I absolutely LOVE when you do retro Memory Lane posts, Kristi! This was another smashing success, my dear. Sitting on your dad’s while driving and standing up in the bed of a p/u truck really hit home. Friday and Saturday nights for me were always a huge, intense game of Kick The Can with all the neighborhood kids. We went home…whenever we were all done. Thank you for the feel-good post to wrap up my night with! 🙂February 13, 2015 – 2:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Mike!!! I love them too. I miss kick the can. Standing up in pickup trucks.February 13, 2015 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I had to giggle about carseat. Christopher was in his and then a booster seat past needing one I’m sure. Legally (by age) he shouldn’t be sitting up front with me but he looks the part. He’s big enough. If I pick him up from school, I tell him to get in the back. If we go through a drive through he likes to sit in the back. He said it’s easier to eat back there. You listed some good ole times car memories. I can remember laying across the entire back seat floor. It doesn’t seem like there was a hump in it. I also remember a time that we rode from PA to DC for a wedding. It was two adults and me in the front seat, three adults and my baby brother in the back seat. No seat belts. My brother cried the whole way and my grandfather smoked the whole way. LOL. Times have certainly changed.February 13, 2015 – 9:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tucker doesn’t probably “need” the car seat he’s in any longer because he’s SO BIG too but I have a friend who is all about car seats and safety so of course we bought the one that I can’t really see over in the back…
      I remember laying in the back on the floor too. And weird that there didn’t seem to be a hump in the floor right?February 13, 2015 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Do you know that I still throw my right arm out when I stop short while driving, even if no one is sitting in the passenger seat. Because that’s how my parents used to protect me. And my sister and I used to pretend to shoot the bad guys driving behind us – with our seatbelts. Which means we didn’t have them on.

    Obviously the fact that we’ve become safety conscious is a good thing, but the fact that we have to be SO vigilant? Not so good. But it’s all our kids know, right?February 13, 2015 – 11:36 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, it’s all our kids know… and I remember throwing my arm over my step daughter. She was like 15 and thought I was a freak, but well, that’s how we protect. 🙂February 13, 2015 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - OMG – Kristi! I though we (my brother and I) were the only kids that were sent to the car for misbehaving in a restaurant! My husband was appalled when my dad told him that. I couldn’t stop laughing – it sums up my childhood, perfectly!February 13, 2015 – 11:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - REALLY Allie??? You totally sat in the car while your parents thought you were sucking? Awesome!! HAHA to to it summing up your childhood. Me too.February 13, 2015 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - I guess I’ll cross off ‘bringing a boy with a mullet to the beach while wearing my thong’ off the list! LOL. It’s amazing what we managed to live through before helicopter parents took over. I too rode in the back of the truck, drove on backroads before I got a license and learned to shoot clay pigeons at the dump. Those were the days, my friend!February 13, 2015 – 2:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHA to the boy with a mullet being crossed off your list and to shooting clay pigeons at the dump. I miss that stuff.February 13, 2015 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - There was this one time my four cousins joined us for the two hour plus 45 minute ferry ride drive up to our cabin. That meant there were the four of them, the three of us, our two parents and our two dogs. In the station wagon. How did we all fit in? Easy peasy. No seatbelts meant two in the very back back with the two dogs, five in the middle and our folks up front.
    Off to google Shrinky Dinks …February 13, 2015 – 2:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY to fitting the kids all over the car – we did that too with six cousins and were on laps and smushed and it was awesome.February 13, 2015 – 10:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - Oh, so many great memories here!!! I loved riding in the back of my grandpa’s pick-up – best feeling ever to sit up on the side (not down in the bottom) and feel the air!!!
    We had a station wagon and I didn’t mind riding in the back but for some reason my parents kept sticking my twin brother back there even though he puked every single time!!!February 13, 2015 – 3:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ah yes the freedom of riding on the side of the back of a pick up truck! Your poor brother 🙂February 14, 2015 – 1:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - YES! I love technology and I’m the first one to whip out my phone and look up some random fact that I just have to know right then. But, I don’t want my kids to miss all those experiences I had either – all day playing outside, riding bikes with no helmets, etc. Those were good times.February 13, 2015 – 5:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - They were such good times Lisa! But I do love being able to whip out my phone too to look something random up, or to book movie tickets or something!February 14, 2015 – 1:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Yes, the “way back” of the car. As one of five kids, we certainly had one. And when they traded in the old station wagon for a GMC Truck, the “way back” faced front! That was strange, but less nausea-inducing.
    We ate so much processed food in the 80’s and 90’s, didn’t we? We had no idea.February 13, 2015 – 6:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Writing this made me crave Spaghettio’s a little bit! Gross I know but YUM! Of course, if I ate them right now, I am sure they wouldn’t be as awesome as I remember…February 14, 2015 – 1:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Hall - Those were the days! I was just telling my daughter the other night that I was her age (14) in 1988. To her, that’s the olden days.February 13, 2015 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh man! 1988 being the olden days. Sigh. True though I guess even though it doesn’t feel that way!February 14, 2015 – 1:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Ginny Marie - What great memories! I actually had chicken pox on Valentine’s Day, and was so upset that I had to miss my class party! I was the lucky one in my family; I got it first and had the lightest case. My sisters and brother had it much worse, and I felt so bad for my baby brother and sister, who were both in diapers at the time! (Now, I feel sorry for my mom who had to take care of all four of us with chicken pox!)February 14, 2015 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh no to chicken pox on Valentine’s Day! I don’t think I had it that bad but my mom too had three of us at once to deal with! My youngest brother must have been younger than two!February 14, 2015 – 1:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - I miss the 80s every day, and now I miss them even more! This was an awesome trip down memory lane, Kristi, thank you :).
    Your last line reminds me of what my son said to me when I switched the car radio to an 80s channel: Mom, we need to listen to music from OUR childhood too!February 14, 2015 – 7:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Nicki – I remember that! (your son saying he wants to listen to music from HIS childhood too) love! I believe it was in a post of yours. Ahhh 80’s.February 15, 2015 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel the Alien - Childhood was more fun back then! We used to stay outside all day running amok in the neighborhood and riding our bikes and stuff. And I sure loved riding backwards in the station wagon! I feel like we lived life to the fullest back then! Although I do like the internet and think video games are fun, I feel bad for kids these days who would rather play a skateboarding video game than go outside and get on an actual skateboard!February 14, 2015 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hear you Angel! Here’s to getting outside more and pretending (for most of the time anyway) that there are no video games!February 15, 2015 – 12:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - The station wagon way-back – loved the station wag way-back. And the slot, you know, the narrow space created when the way back seats were up instead of flattened down for transporting big stuff? Great memories, thank you!February 15, 2015 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - EEEP me too. And I SO KNOW that slot!!! Why does the slot no longer exist???February 17, 2015 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - Kristi,
    I continually connect and identify w/ your words, stories, insights. This is what true “Writing” is.
    —Also, I did need to get a tetanus shot when I was about 8 cuz I was bitten by a monkey at the pet shop! No. I’m serious.

    xxxFebruary 15, 2015 – 8:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - For real??? A monkey?? OMG I ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted a pet monkey so so bad.February 17, 2015 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

  • April G - My kids don’t use technology very often and we JUST got him a video game for his birthday. He spent a good amount of time playing it, and I’m already calculating how I will be using it as punishment! LOL! We have some board games that we’ve been playing lately!February 15, 2015 – 10:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - LOL I do love some board games – like a LOT. And haha to using it as punishment. It’ll work though, so there’s that.February 17, 2015 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - Oh boy do I feel this. It seriously gets me down sometimes how quickly things have changed. Do you think our parents and grandparents felt this way? It seems faster now but maybe every generation thinks that. I don’t know!February 16, 2015 – 2:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m positive that our grandparents felt this way as I remember my Grandma telling me how quickly time passed and how I should pay more attention to my Grandpa telling me about how he grew flowers in his greenhouse (while smoking the whole time). I think she may have also told me a story about how she had to catch a chicken in a bag to eat dinner during the same conversation so um.February 17, 2015 – 12:26 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Oh I love all of this…these memories…times sure have changed and it’s gone from using your imagination to letting a computer do it for you. Like the car rides??
    (Don’t get me wrong though, handheld devices are a blessing on a road trip)
    Also I sat on the centre console because seatbelts were over rated.
    Chicken pox – kindergarten. I think the whole class was invited to party at my place that week.February 18, 2015 – 6:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - Great trip down memory lane with this one! I worry about that too…the things that they’ll miss out on, but I realize, they still experience a lot of the same childhood things that I did, and they’ll be OK. 🙂March 4, 2015 – 5:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | Thank You Honey - So funny how things change! LOLMarch 5, 2015 – 10:03 amReplyCancel

It was from the comfort of my home and in the quiet of my office, my son sleeping upstairs, that I texted my friend Kerri, while she rode in her car, late at night, driving from Massachusetts to Georgia. She’d told me earlier that month that they’d found a doctor willing to do further DNA testing on her […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Elizabeth - Consider this shared, too! Well done, Kristi, this is a great awareness post! Lucky Kerri and lucky Bridget! 🙂February 8, 2015 – 1:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - You articulated this so clearly…what a great post on helping to spread awareness of PACS1 and how doctors need to screen for this, just like other genetic disorders.February 8, 2015 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I wish doctors would screen for more for all of us. Like, I want an MRI even though I don’t “need” one. Oops sorry. Thanks, Emily!!February 8, 2015 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Thank you, from the bottom of my soul, for being my friend. For taking that text or that phone call. For getting IT the fear and the hope.February 9, 2015 – 10:01 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Ahhh, I just wrote mine too. I like the similarities in ours, and the differences too. The proximity you had to Kerri’s journey is really beautiful. I’m so glad you wrote this post.February 9, 2015 – 10:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I like the similarities and differences in ours too and I’m so glad you joined the PACS1 awareness movement for Kerri!!February 9, 2015 – 12:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - I joined the Facebook group yesterday, after I read about it on Tamara’s blog. I think I told you before about my youngest being very sick when he was little and that the doctors could not figure it out. I was a complete mess, not knowing. It must have been so frustrating for them. I am really glad they have their answers now. Hopefully the Facebook group will give them some traction in getting doctors to start testing!February 9, 2015 – 4:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I do remember you telling me about your youngest, Michelle… and I know that there’s nothing scarier than not knowing whether our babies are okay or are going to be okay… I’m glad they have their answers too and thanks so much for the visit.February 9, 2015 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie Smith - Beautiful!!!! I feel terrible that I’ve yet to write mine. Kerri, if you reading this, it’s coming! The Smith family has gone down hard with the flu:(.February 9, 2015 – 4:43 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YIKES to the flu Allie!! 🙁 Boo that sucks sucks sucks. I hope you all are on the mend!February 9, 2015 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Bridget is an absolutely beautiful little sweetie! Kerri, I’m so glad you were able to get the Exome sequencing done. This brings to light that parents should never leave a stone unturned and that our medical system is still failing despite how blessed we are in the U.S. My thoughts and prayers to you, Bridget and your family! Great share, Kristi 🙂February 9, 2015 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - She’s gorgeous right? I have never met her and I adore her so much… and yeah, the medical system IS failing but not as much as it is in other places, you’re right about that. I mean there are children dying from chicken pox still which sigh…February 9, 2015 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I know it’s just the jobs of those 5 people on a board that have to make the decision but I hope they know they’re jobs are important. I hate to think that finding a diagnosis lies in the hands of a few people who can say yes or no. I’m assuming that Kerri never took no for an answer because finding out a diagnosis that only 20 children in the world are known to have is quite a miracle. I can’t imagine what a relief it is to finally know!February 10, 2015 – 7:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think people in those jobs are so stretched that they just move along, case to case, which IS sad and scary and agree that Kerri must have never taken a no. Thanks, Kenya!February 10, 2015 – 7:48 amReplyCancel

I can’t remember whether or not I checked the mail this afternoon or on which days I have meetings next week, yet I remember feelings, outfits, the weather and the sounds during certain moments from my past. People talk about memories that haunt them. That idea brings to mind imagined images of tragedy. Of fear […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kelly L McKenzie - Oh that memory of Chief brought home two memories for me. Having to go to the counter at the vet’s and telling the woman that I’d pay my bill now as I wouldn’t be in any shape to do so after Fergus passed. And waiting at home for my two to come home from school. I needed to ask them if they wanted to come with me to say goodbye to Oscar – who that very morning had been the picture of health. They did and Oscar slipped away comforted by the knowledge that the three of us were with him. So, so sad but I wouldn’t change a thing.February 5, 2015 – 10:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ugh to going to the counter at the vet’s… I wasn’t as wise and remember feeling so assaulted and horrified that the whole horror cost so much money… I’m glad that your kids were able to be there. That’s big stuff. Important. Goodbye matters, when we can have it.February 6, 2015 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I love how you brought this all together with that last line and couldn’t agree more that no one memory by itself maybe haunting or stand alone, but together they do very much represent life altering times and I know I have a few of my own, too if I think long and hard enough.February 5, 2015 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s weird that we don’t need a memory to haunt us to realize that they all do in one way or another. Like what if we hadn’t gone on those blind dates? Met our husbands? It seems surreal to think about… like the Butterfly Effect I guess.February 6, 2015 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - I’m really glad you made a point about your feelings and experiences from your past being your’s and therefore just as important as any other persons. I think people often forget that the old philosophy of “unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” I’m also glad you shared your memories both good/bad, the roadtrips, bad drilling and a beautiful wedding. Btw…I do the same thing as Tucker at the refrigerator to this day. Good post as always, Kristi 🙂February 5, 2015 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Mike. For sharing. For being here. For being my friend. You’re so right about the walking a mile in another’s shoes. It’s never the same as we think it may be…February 6, 2015 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I love how you did this, Kristi. I also felt like I’m fortunate enough to not really have truly haunting memories. But these are haunting in a more mundane way, even though that doesn’t make them less powerful. Little snapshots of your life – all of them are important.February 5, 2015 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Dana. I felt really lucky writing it that I don’t have them, but then I thought about having them and of course had a bad dream last night about losing Tucker at a big outdoor fair/event thing that was kinda like Disney but weirder… and yeah. TMI? Anyway, yes. They are important. What we all do matters, even when it feels like just another day right?February 6, 2015 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Deborah L. Bryner - Thank you, Kristi, for your amazing testimony. You could well have been reading my mind…my daughter wasn’t diagnosed as on the Spectrum until she was 15. When you said what you said about pretending to yourself that everything was all right with your child…man did that ever hit home. I have come to realize in the years since Kate’s diagnosis that I really hate attending weddings and baby showers…since it is highly unlikely that my daughter will ever do either of those things. And yes, I too mourn. I mourn deeply for what my daughter was cheated out of, and for the grandchildren that I will never have…but I also rejoice with a mountaintop kind of joy because my daughter, Kate Lovel Bryner, is an extraordinary young woman whose insights into the human condition are unlike those of “normal” people and mean so much more to me…my favorite example was when my adopted sister was dying (Kate’s godmother and my best friend), and I had to go down to Utah to care for her in those last weeks. I was trying to explain to Kate why I had to do this – because I had to take care of her Auntie, since I was all she had for family. And do you know what my precious, precious daughter said to me? She said, “But Momma, who’s going to take care of YOU?!?” She made the flight with me and we cared for her godmother until she died in peace.

    Thank you, Christi. Thank you.February 6, 2015 – 12:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Deborah,
      Thank you so much for coming here and sharing your important story!!! I’m sorry about the grief you have had and completely understand it. I also understand the unconditional love you have for your incredible daughter and love your brain and heart when it comes to your concerns and worries. That your daughter said “But Momma, who’s going to take care of YOU?” is amazing. Such empathy and heart and understanding. That’s big huge, forever. Thank YOU Deborah, for sharing. For your words. For your dedication and for bringing an amazing soul to this planet, making it better and more beautiful. Hugs and love to you and yours. Feel free to email me if you’d like (there’s a contact form on the upper right side of my blog). I’d love to talk with you more.February 6, 2015 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I also love the direction you took with this. I honestly don’t have memories that haunt me so I’ve been flipping through my mind’s photo album all week trying to figure it out. After reading here and at Kerri’s I think I have the answer.
    Anyway, I love these moments that define your timeline. It’s curious which things stick in out minds, isn’t it? Why we remember a certain thing or how vividly.February 6, 2015 – 12:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I LOVED your answer. You totally rock. It’s so curious and so WEIRD about the things that we remember. Especially when we have to remind ourselves (well, I do, anyway) that tomorrow is an early day a late day, etc.February 6, 2015 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Vidya Sury - As always, I made sure I brought one big towel along before I began to read your post, Kristi. I know that wonderful feeling of my mind treasuring a bundle of memories – some significant, many random – that give me that instant feeling of being hugged when I think of them. 🙂 It is one of the reasons I started the blog on which I am co-hosting FTFS today.

    I am wondering how you must have felt as you published this post. 🙂 Each memory must have taken you down that lane to relive those moments! Love the photos. Your words squeezed my heart, in a wonderful way! Hugs!February 6, 2015 – 12:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Vidya,
      You always leave the most insightful comments – thank you for them. Sorry for the big towel though. I’m glad you started your new blog and your post today was both beautiful and heartbreaking. I’m very sorry for your very significant loss.
      As I published, I felt in the past, and in the moments, but also strangely aware that my 5yo son was sleeping in the stairs above where I typed, if that makes sense. The memories did take me down the lanes. And it was nice, warm. Thank you for asking!February 6, 2015 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Bev - It’s amazing what memories stick, haunting or not, and how the details from those days really stay with us. I can definitely identify with that feeling of becoming a mom for the first time.February 6, 2015 – 7:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really is amazing which memories stay with us, and which ones we can’t seem to find, even when we need to. Here’s to being moms and remembering that. How it felt.February 6, 2015 – 11:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom - I felt like I was right there with you in your memories – what great writing. I was especially moved by your dog, your little boy’s outfit, and your wedding memories.February 6, 2015 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Katy!!! Aw to the dog and my son and my wedding memories. Thanks for linking with us!February 6, 2015 – 11:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - WOW. I was really wondering where you would go with one. Like always your answer to the prompt is perfectly you. Honest and revealing.February 6, 2015 – 10:20 amReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - It’s funny how we carry the smallest things with us throughout I life time. Good and bad. Of all the moments we are given, it’s amazing how some stick with us. Loved learning more about you. It’s funny about the birth. They didn’t have mirrors in our hospital but I remember seeing my son first appear in the reflection of the doctor’s glasses.February 6, 2015 – 11:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - That’s so cool that you remember your son appearing in the reflection of the doctor’s glasses, Jamie! Like way cool. I had told my husband before hand that he HAD TO HAD TO HAD TO watch as our boy came out. I’d seen a friend of mine give birth and remembered how amazing it was… and you’re right. It’s weird funny how we carry the small things that maybe aren’t small but maybe are…February 6, 2015 – 11:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I love your memories. I love your beautiful, much-missed dog. I love your wedding dress. I love your amazing, sweet baby boy. Great post!February 6, 2015 – 1:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Elizabeth!!! <3February 6, 2015 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thank you so much Elizabeth. I love my much-missed dog too. It’s funny – Tucker didn’t seem to notice that Chief was gone. Then, like a year later, he said that he wanted puppy. I went and got him his stuffed animal puppy from his bed and he said NO and showed me a photo of Chief. How these little dudes’ brains work is incredible and it was such a lesson for me at how much he knows that he doesn’t say… thank you!February 7, 2015 – 9:39 pmReplyCancel

      • Elizabeth - Oh, that must have been so bitter sweet when he brought you Chief’s picture. Big hugs, my dear.February 8, 2015 – 1:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I need to remember that you don’t have a popcorn eating/reading blog. Oh what memories! I got choked up about Chief. That picture of Tucker standing in the fridge is so cute and wow to you associating that outfit with such a memory. I tried to think in terms of outfits what I was wearing for big days, whether sad or happy. I can’t remember what I was wearing when I bought the pregnancy test when I was pregnant with Christopher, but I remember that the car was half in and half out of the garage because I was so excited to go pee on the stick. I just knew. I can remember what I was wearing when I met my husband on a blind lunch date.February 6, 2015 – 6:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
      While I love and ate up (like popcorn really) that I don’t have a popcorn eating blog – I have to ask… should it be more popcorn reading/writing??
      I got choked up about Chief too. It’s weird how I remember bawling and being so sad but also so aware, if that makes sense. Like I thought about his ear, which was always my snuggly rubby spot… and watched it change. Like it was weird I noticed, um sorry TMI…
      I love that you remember the car being half in and out of the garage. And that you KNEW. I knew too. And I don’t remember what I was wearing then either, just the feeling of knowing. I didn’t even tell my husband for a whole almost day… just in case. But I remember knowing, and the light in the bathroom as I peed on that stick… eeep. what an awesome feeling. i wish I could bottle that 🙂February 6, 2015 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

      • Kenya G. Johnson - No no, you just keep doing your authentic you. You make me snort laugh sometimes and that’s not good for popcorn/eating reading either. 😉 About the car being half in and out, I was going to wait a day to share the news to but had to explain why the car was like that.February 7, 2015 – 6:16 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, I guess “I had to pee” wouldn’t have worked for the car like that 😉February 7, 2015 – 9:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I’ve also had memories swirling around me this week prompted by a conversation and though they weren’t haunting, they did keep me distracted this week!
    However, I just converted them into a light post unlike this beautiful writing!February 6, 2015 – 6:25 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Roshni,
      I have written about Metallica, and the power of music, a LOT, so please don’t consider 80’s and 90’s music memories light. I mean they ARE LIGHT but also so so important. Thank you for the reminder!!!February 7, 2015 – 1:17 amReplyCancel

  • April G - These memories are so precious. I love that they are yours. I wish I had decided to do this, because my post would’ve ended up someone like yours. I have a bunch of memories, but I can’t say that many of them haunt me. I love the fact that you thought about your posture during your wedding! I think it was the one time I DIDN’T think about mine! Have a great weekend!February 6, 2015 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You can still link up until Sunday at noon eastern, if you decide to and I love that your post would have been similar to mine! Here’s to the memories that are ours… haha to your wedding being a time when you didn’t think about your posture 🙂February 7, 2015 – 1:19 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Some smells can be incredibly evocative for me, too. I have to say I can well imagine what smell you might be thinking of…:)February 6, 2015 – 9:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hm. I was actually *thinking* about Ralph Lauren Polo for boys in the 80’s but now I’m thinking of something else. A few elses, actually…February 7, 2015 – 9:41 pmReplyCancel

      • Sarah - OK, Ralph Lauren Polo would be evocative too.February 8, 2015 – 1:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - You’ve recalled these memories so beautifully—I feel like I was right there! I can smell certain perfumes from my past and it will take me right to a special time and place. Same goes with old songs or the way the sunlight looks coming through the windows. Great post, Kristi!February 7, 2015 – 12:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I more smell the boys’ colognes in mine but also remember scents of my own that I was obsessed with. I used to spray one on my pillow in hopes that the boy thought that was me… and yeah to songs and light. Thank you for getting it.February 8, 2015 – 1:42 amReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - ***I watched as his fuzzy ear changed from a shade of pink to a shade of white. Just like that.***

    ***I’ll say it now – it’s not just a speech delay***

    You never f*cking fail to move me completely & wholly, Kristi Campbell.

    xxxx KISS from MN.February 7, 2015 – 2:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well fuck. Big kiss from DC Kim because you. Because Kay. Because all of us everywhere. Thank you.February 8, 2015 – 1:43 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Wait, our kids are twins, right? Summer babies? Your photo struck such a chord with me. I remember becoming a mom. BOOM. But mainly I remember it being summer. I remember sweaty breastfeeding and onesies with little caps and fireworks and ice cream and the sound of the air conditioning clicking on in the middle of the night.

    Urgh- I’m trying to link my other Friday post about being romantical on CommentLuv but it seems to like my cough and cold one more. Boo.February 7, 2015 – 4:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - And look I got the right post anyway because I’d already opened it before you had to select comment love and yeah to the BOOM. And um, yup. Tucker IS a 4th of July baby. When is Scarlet??? ugh to the sweaty nursing and air conditioning and also I miss that.February 8, 2015 – 1:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kim - I love that picture of your little cutie standing in the fridge!!!
    Your memories are so vivid that I feel like I could have been in the car with you!!
    You are gorgeous in your wedding picture!!!February 7, 2015 – 6:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - “They’re mine though, and ones that have stayed with me, and feel pivotal.”
    Thank you for sharing your memories Kristi, and not just your memories but how you felt at each of those moments. I’m especially touched by the ones about Chief. I feel that day is coming soon for us, and I find myself noticing tiny moments with our Pretzel, almost recording the memories for a future without him.February 8, 2015 – 9:30 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh no…. I remember reading that you’d previously worried about Pretzel’s days… sigh… sigh sigh.
      I’ll be here, when that day comes and I’m also here now praying that it’s much further away than you think it is now.February 8, 2015 – 9:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Love those snippets of our lives tucked away in the corners of our hearts! Painful or joyful, they helped shape who we are today!February 12, 2015 – 2:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So true, Jhanis. So true. Even when they seem like insignificant memories, they’re ours and shape us.February 14, 2015 – 3:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - What beautiful memories! I like to think of them as reruns, like a show. They replay in my head to show me something or help me remember a certain time or show me that I need to be grateful for something or rethink some. I love reruns!February 12, 2015 – 8:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love reruns! I love the way you say how they replay in your head to help you remember something or show you something you need to be grateful for.February 14, 2015 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Well, apparently I have totally dropped the ball with your posts lately. And for that? I am so sorry. (I have a list of excuses you don’t wanna know)

    These memories are so powerful, Kristi. Each one- in such detail… oh my heart. Oh YOURS. <3February 12, 2015 – 12:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris,
      I’ve dropped the ball on so much this week! Tucker and I are both sick… work is crazy… so I get it! Please never apologize! Love to you!February 14, 2015 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Isn’t that strange how we can’t remember if our kids took a shower but we can remember some of the small/not-so-small things they used to do? How a smell or a color can bring back something that was previously buried so deep down? Lovely memories here.February 12, 2015 – 6:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So true Lisa. It always amazes me how much scent brings back forgotten memories.February 14, 2015 – 3:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - This is so beautiful! I’m so afraid of forgetting so many things….my memory is not good from my childhood, and even now I sometimes have a hard time remembering things from the newlywed years. This was beautiful! 🙂February 13, 2015 – 9:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Meredith! I only remember certain snippets of childhood and I can relate to having a hard time remembering things from being a newlywed. It seems so long ago (even though overall, it really wasn’t).February 14, 2015 – 3:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Stacey - I randomly have memories flood back to me. Certain smells, certain weather situations, remind me of different times in my life. I don’t remember most of my childhood (which is just as well) and only remember snippets through even college, but give me the smell of diesel on a mildly warm day, and suddenly I am back in Germany, where I spent a month as an exchange student. Show me plantains or sugar cane, and I am back in Costa Rica, where I spent a month as a missionary assistant. Make me smell raspberry body spray, and I think of my dorm mate my second year of college who, instead of showering, would douse herself in that spray. Make me talk about my c-sections (my six year old knows he was cut out of my belly and queries about it a lot), and my c-section scar hurts (and I remember how I bawled when I learned that my oldest, who was breech, would have to be born via c-section). There are important times that stick in my mind too — first date with my husband, wedding day, my toy poodle dying, finding out I was pregnant with my oldest, finding out he would have to be born via c-section (scared me), heartbreak when I kept getting negative tests when trying for my second, how I broke down and cried hard when I learned I was finally pregnant with my second, the early arrival of our second, having our oldest’s speech issues confirmed, getting his SPD diagnosis, and so much more. Sometimes I have memories I’d rather not have, but I am thankful that I have these. 🙂February 26, 2015 – 2:48 pmReplyCancel

Have you ever thought about what you’d do if you ruled the world? I mean not in a political sense, but in a “if things were they way I wish they were” way? Would you go back in time and undo mistakes? Would you freeze life for brief moments while considering what to do when […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Don - Yo? You still blog?

    Who called Tman a weirdo? I hate dbag kids and their dbag parents. Even if he is a weirdo, good for him! I’m a weirdo too.

    Okay I have to work and this is sooooooo much typing on my phone! Great post. You have a good heart under your great boobs. I hope this world is half what you want it to be someday.January 29, 2015 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You deserve a trophy for your phone typing from work tonight and yeah, weirdos are maybe good. Steve Jobs was a weirdo right? YAY for boobs. Well um whatever. Oh and yayyy for good hearts.January 30, 2015 – 12:04 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Yes there are a lot of things I’d like to change, but I don’t want to be in charge. And I love your definition of judgement – “when people don’t know the whole story.” There’s a Stevie Wonder song that came to mind. I love it simply for the words he’s written. The part that came to mind was “Shame on them. Shame on us.”January 30, 2015 – 6:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I had to YouTube the Stevie Wonder song because it wasn’t one that came to mind immediately but I recognized it once I heard it and can completely tell why you thought of it because yeah, shame on them and shame on us…
      Judgement is ALWAYS when people don’t know the whole story right? I mean we look at our lives, our neighbors and the people we don’t know. We assume so much when we don’t know (and by we I don’t mean you or me or anybody really just the collective)… but it’s like looking at somebody at the grocery who has dirty pants. For all we know, her kid has been vomiting all night, she threw on the closest clothes to her to get the medicine and hasn’t slept in 50 hours OR she could just be gross. Right? 😉January 31, 2015 – 1:49 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh Kristi, love this. If I’d participated, I think I might have mimicked you once again. I don’t want to rule the world either, but change it? Yes please. I’m so sorry that you and tucker rough days. I want to live in the world you write so eloquently about – empathy and wonder. I wish we could make that happen.January 30, 2015 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Great minds, baby. Or well, similar enough that we can recognize one another’s greatness which is just as good.
      I want to live there too. Let’s at least try to make it happen. I mean, look what people have done with their words? Like “I have a dream” (not that we’re MLK or anything but really he changed the world with his words and actions right????)January 31, 2015 – 1:51 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Amen…my dude says kids at school tease him about the way he talks even though he has a beautiful deep voice and speaks clearly. This is apparently a recent thing and he claims more and more kids are imitating how he sounds. Is it typical teen boy teasing or judgmental asshole teasing? I’m not sure but either way it sucks…please start that school. Our world needs our land badly!January 30, 2015 – 3:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - CRAP really??? Oh Emily, that so bums me out. I’m sorry. UGH to it being recent too. I mean duh that’s dumb because whether it’s new or old it just SUCKS!!!! Crap!!! Ok I’ll start the school. Do you have like um, I dunno…. funding??? CRAP CRAP CRAP.
      🙁
      He speaks clearly and they tease him??? Tucker does not speak clearly and well, will likely have this as a challenge forever. WTF do we DO???
      Start that school. That’s what we do. Dangit.January 31, 2015 – 1:55 amReplyCancel

      • Emily - I may have asked you this in the past, but do you watch “Parenthood.” The series just ended the other night and I was BAWLING at the end. The parents had started a school and the last episode shows the son graduating from there with a HUGE smile on his face (he hardly ever smiled before). The show wrapped up several story lines, but for me, that one was the most meaningful for obvious reasons. We are now looking into new schools for next year for real. Even though he’s transferred schools twice already, we’re not giving up and know that there has to be someplace out there with kind, non-judgmental people. But yes, start that school – please!!January 31, 2015 – 12:52 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
          I haven’t watched Parenthood. Should I? I mean if I have to start at the beginning? I like the idea of the son graduating with a HUGE SMILE. So much. Especially if he hadn’t smiled much before.
          I’m really sad to hear that you’re in the market for a new school because that means that the current one isn’t a great fit which just sucks. 🙁
          I think every school needs to have more programming about how to be compassionate toward others and ourselves. Seriously this bullying stuff is too much. Too often. Not right. Another friend privately IMd me saying that they’re looking at private school for their child who had been treated terribly recently. Sigh.
          Dana just recommended Transparent which I also haven’t seen. xxooJanuary 31, 2015 – 7:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I’m so very sorry, Kristi! Kids can be brutal sometimes. I hope Tucker has recovered from that incident.January 30, 2015 – 3:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Roshni.
      I spoke to his special ed teacher/aide today and I think they are willing to work with me on something to help…fingers crossed and good thoughts appreciated!!January 31, 2015 – 1:59 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - We never know anyone else’s whole story – how can we? We aren’t in their brain or heart, and that’s where the truth is.

    I don’t want to be in charge either. But with lots of people who want to change the world, maybe we can.January 30, 2015 – 3:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love this comment. Where the truth is. yes to where the truth is and why is it sometimes so hard to find? It’s right here. In our brains and our hearts. Thank you Dana. <3January 31, 2015 – 2:00 amReplyCancel

  • Mardra - Good news, new friend, You *are* changing the world.
    Keep it up.
    <3January 30, 2015 – 4:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ah Madra. As are you. As have you been. I’m honored to be your new friend.January 31, 2015 – 2:01 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - THIS is the response you give to Scary Mommy trolls!!!!! Yes! I don’t want to rule the world either, but if everyone could have this perspective, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad world to rule. XOXOJanuary 30, 2015 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Well, yes. But only here, and only quietly and only completely not obviously… for now, at least, I think that’s how it should be…
      here’s to a better, more compassionate, more open and understanding world. For all of us. For our kids. For us, as kids and for all of the humans who are humaning forever. xxoooJanuary 31, 2015 – 2:06 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - Caught ya at the scary mommy site… I got me a new name so you may not recognize me dunno…and no I wasn’t the troll! Hahaha maniacal laughter! Although I would suggest this post goes up next to that one! Xo meJanuary 30, 2015 – 5:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicki - Yes. Me too. Thank you for saying it! <3January 31, 2015 – 2:06 amReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - Oh, I love this. I have the same thoughts all the time, but every time I think of ways I can change the world, I get overwhelmed. Often, I’ll tell myself–do what you can. Even changing the direction of someone’s day by making it better in some small way is a step. I don’t want to aim small, but some days that’s what I can do–and I hope it’s enough. I am always trying.January 31, 2015 – 9:16 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You know what? making somebody’s day better is HUGE. Just think – if we all tried to make a couple of people’s days better every day, and then they tried to make a couple other’s days better, it’d be like that tv commercial many moons ago with the “and so on and so on and so on!” See? It’s good!February 1, 2015 – 7:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Lovely! Very insightful!January 31, 2015 – 10:09 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - I love the distinction you’re making between ruling the world and changing it. You may not see it, but I think that you’re already successful in the latter. I think that it’s what you’ve been aiming to do with Our Land and I think that you’re creating ripples and waves and changes in your readers through creating awareness.Keep doing what you’re doing so brilliantly. Write honestly and courageously and from your heart and I’ll keep watching in awe how you get dozens of comments on every single one of your posts, as you should, because they touch souls. I HEART you. 🙂January 31, 2015 – 8:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - It took having Bridget to mute my bitch factor when it came to judgement. BUT I still fall into that trap. I do not know why, but somehow it is easier to fall into that bitch than that human. It should not take having a child that is different be the catalyst for change. Yet for so many….February 2, 2015 – 1:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Another beautiful, heartfelt piece. I especially liked: We can feel the power that comes from giving love even when it’s hard to. I feel this way more often than I’d like to admit and I don’t want it to be that way. I don’t want it to be hard to feel or give love.

    But of course I adored the rest of this piece too because I would like to see more empathy in the world. Try to be kind to one another rather than tearing someone down. I’m so sorry Tucker was called weird. But please tell him in Portland, (and Austin too), we’re all proud to be tagged as weird. It’s the motto: Keep Portland Weird. I think they must have borrowed it from Texas since I am pretty sure I heard a similar logo when I visited Austin several years ago.

    But of course, at this age, Tucker will not understand. He doesn’t know yet that it is ok to be different. In fact, out in the world, different often shines brighter than “sameness.” My heart goes out to you and your little guy as he figures out how cool it will be to be “weird” in a good sense. (I hope you know I mean this in the kindest, most loving way possible).February 3, 2015 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that Portland’s motto is “Keep Portland Weird!” (and Texas too??)
      And yeah, I definitely know the way in which you mean it Linda! We’re all different in some ways… it’s just hard as parents to wonder whether our kids will find friendship and a sense of self compassion for their quirks and differences. Sigh. Thanks, you!February 14, 2015 – 7:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - You rock! Love this. I love how you don’t want to rule the world that you just want to change it. One day at a time you are changing it!February 12, 2015 – 8:58 amReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land author isn’t somebody that I knew prior to her submitting today’s story but I’m so glad that I know her now. Stephanie’s heart and advocacy is nothing short of miraculous and her dedication to raising awareness in the special needs community is what Our Land is about. Our Land: #Justice For Ethan and […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
email a friend

  • Mardra Sikora - Ah yes. Tears from this one.
    Thank you both for sharing it.January 27, 2015 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Oh Kristi…oh. I don’t even know what to say. Stephanie, bless you.January 28, 2015 – 8:24 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I don’t know what to say either. What a tragedy. What a community of support for Patti. Thank you for sharing.January 28, 2015 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Damn. I hate this story. I hate that it happened and hate that it continues to happen. I hate that we have to continue to tell these stories in the hopes that we will learn so that it won’t happen again. I love that you shared it, thank you.January 28, 2015 – 4:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hate this story too. I think most don’t know what to say but yeah, it’s important to share, I think. Thanks, Elizabeth!!January 28, 2015 – 11:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Not sure if Kerri made her way here yet but I read about Ethan on her site just last week. And I had known of the story from about two years ago. I have to say, it made me cry. Still does. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate that it happened. I’m glad for the support.January 30, 2015 – 8:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kerri - After digging out of the freaking snow and getting our power back I am here and catching up….I think it should make us all cry, what happened was beyond horrific. We should hate it, not only for our children but for all children. If we didn’t cry it wouldn’t have impact.February 3, 2015 – 9:53 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - While my daughter does not have Down Syndrome, Ethan’s death two years ago (how could it be 2 years) hit me in my core. It could be any of our children with a disability that could tragically be killed. I joined the Road We Shared on the anniversary to continue the awareness. That Ethan’s life and death had impact and will not be forgotten. Thank you for all you have doneFebruary 3, 2015 – 9:51 amReplyCancel

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