Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Listen to Your Mother Show videos are out! I just got back from Tucker’s BigHuge Turning FIVE Birthday Extravaganza and Celebration, and discovered that special needs parenting is way better than sea monkeys. The Listen to Your Mother Videos are all over Facebook and Twitter, and I’m swept up in the fun of reliving one […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Mike - I just lost an entire VERY long comment due to me hitting SOME incorrect key (of which I have no idea) and was literally screaming at myself. Please know you are always a beautiful, right and perfect woman, Kristi. Multiply that times infinity the mother that I see you are to Tucker. This last weekend I was inspired to share a dark life secret of mine. What blogger folks have come to know me as on the Internet is this nice, kind person with a cute, very funny and caring Golden Retriever. That is all very true. What many learned, including yourself, was that there always has been and is a much deeper meaning to that relationship. I had a bio mother (whom I do miss terribly) tell me and her university classes that I was the ugliest baby she had ever seen. The next “mother” that entered the life picture did a lifetime a damage that wasn’t until 11 years ago, began to be repaired. That is Phoenix. So, how this relates to YOU….is NOW you understand and know how deeply beyond what you can possibly fathom how much I love and admire the mother you are to Tucker. Why you always hear me comment how right and perfect Tucker is. Because is, always has been, and always will be. His continued success…love he feels, shows and evolves to understand…is a constant testament to YOU!! I could hug you both forever and each day you make our life better. We are so deeply proud of you and you knocked that presentation out of the world!! Thank you, with love, Mike and Phoenix 🙂July 10, 2014 – 4:06 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hate when I lose comments like that, Mike! Often, I can do control Z (undo) and get it back but UGH. And thank you huge big huge gigantic for your amazing words. I know that there’s a much much deeper (and, sadly, darker and horrid) meaning behind how PDawg saved you and you him and how he’s given you light and hope again, which is really everything. I am in awe of you for sharing in the first place, and, as you know, hope you will write the Our Land, when you’re ready… because fuck. Hard shit, there, dude.
      Thank you for knowing it’s not always easy, and thank you for seeing all of the hugest potentials in Tucker. He’s an AMAZING kid, but he does have his (big huge) issues. Yesterday, his sitter was really bummed because she took him to a bounce house place and he punched (OMG how does he even know this) another kid who shoved him (first so better but STILL).
      You and Phoenix make us better. Your dedication to showing him new things and life and helping him kick cancer’s ugly ass, well. We adore you.July 10, 2014 – 9:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Robin - I haven’t seen the video yet but will. But your words are so beautiful. I think about this a lot–wondering if my worries about my son’s quirky development, and his success in the future are comparable to what a “typical” child’s mothers worries are. There are always some mom’s who look like they have it easy, and some who look, like you said, to have been dealt with more challenges. But looks, especially on social media, can be deceiving–all kids and relationships within families are complicated. Love your ending, about your sweet son, and how much he loves you for who you are, that’s pretty darn perfect in my book!July 10, 2014 – 6:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you huge, Robin. I think about it a lot, too. I wonder about the different worries but the bottom line is that we all worry huge, and maybe, sometimes, it’s just about different things. I have to hang onto the hope that we’re so much more alike than different – us mamas.
      I try to not dislike the moms who look like everything is so easy but gah. Social media is SO fake!!! I mean, I don’t post pics of me where I look more than usually-ugly, ya know?
      And aww! I think it’s pretty darn perfect, too, that he just loves me. Here’s to that for all of us and for everybody.July 10, 2014 – 9:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - OK, “didn’t fart loudly enough for anyone to hear it” got me from the start! Your piece was beautiful and reflective and I am so glad to have shared the stage with you, and to have learned so much from you already.July 10, 2014 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, Michele, I’m so so happy to have shared the stage with YOU, my sweet, lovely new friend. You were amazing, and brilliant and so so brave. And I’m so big huge happy for you and can’t wait to give your new baby belly a rub if you’ll let me. And thank you.July 10, 2014 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - So you did fart, right? Just not loudly enough? haha!
    I watched this this morning, actually. Yours drew tears from me. So did Kim Morand’s. Tears, I tell you!July 10, 2014 – 10:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Nah, I didn’t fart at all, but I might have, and nobody would have heard it because I was fartless, and poopless, and well, weird, right? And yeah, Kim’s was most excellent. Big huge excellent.July 10, 2014 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Brava!

    I’m so proud to know you. And I think you’re as beautiful today as ever.July 10, 2014 – 11:22 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - love, love, love this. You say the most perfect things to touch my heart. I wish I could say them as well as you. Thanks.July 10, 2014 – 1:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda, you do say them. You say them all just perfectly perfect and thank you. I hope you’re having an amazing time in AK!!July 11, 2014 – 12:01 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Thanks, Beautiful. I am sitting in a public library trying, failing, to not cry. This is really amazing, so perfectly saying what I have felt, the whole continuum of fear, sadness, joy, gratitude. I have gone from sadly watching other kids at his school and *seeing* what is missing in him, to seeing what he has that none of those other children will ever have. What a roller coaster!
    Your post is beautiful tribute to the hands-in-the-air ride!July 10, 2014 – 2:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Elizabeth, I know I know – and I know that you know. The fear, sadness, joy and overwhelming gratitude are overwhelming at their best and crippling at times, too. I know you get about seeing what’s missing, and yeah, a roller coaster for sure. Here’s to riding thislife with our arms mostly in the air – I love that. Thank you.July 11, 2014 – 12:21 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Just watched…you were AWESOME as was that post. I have always had a big fear of public speaking and even though I sort of overcame it when I was in the workforce and had to give presentations, I still avoid it as much as possible. I’ve never read anything of mine out loud to an audience, other than one time when I took a writing pitch conference, where we had to read our pitches to the class. I really admire you doing this and one day maybe I’ll be courageous enough to give it a try.:)July 10, 2014 – 4:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
      You would not believe how badly my hands were shaking – not only then, but in the readthrough, the audition, all of it. It was a little horrifying actually but I’m so glad I did it. I kept thinking that by the show, I’d lose weight, do something about wrinkles, etc, but when it came time to do it, it was just amazing. I would never think I’d have done it, but am so so glad I did. Please think about it for next year. you will be amazing. you ARE amazing. And, thank you, huge, for the support and sweet comment. xoJuly 11, 2014 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Angela McKeown Momopolize - I’m so happy the videos are available not since I couldn’t make it to the show! You did such a wonderful job!!!!July 10, 2014 – 6:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks big huge, Angela. It was hard and also so awesome. I hope you can do it next year – your stories are so amazing.July 11, 2014 – 12:25 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - You were awesome and that piece was amazing! Brought tears and smiles!July 10, 2014 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - XO Lisa. And thank you huge. I hope next year that your schedule is better when it’s time b/c you are sure to be better than amazing.July 11, 2014 – 12:30 amReplyCancel

  • marcia @ Menopausal Mother - Oh Kristi, you did it to me again–made me all mushy and teary-eyed! This is painfully beautiful. And you totally rocked it at LTYM–you have great stage presence! XOJuly 11, 2014 – 1:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - You are awesome. That’s all. 🙂July 11, 2014 – 3:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Just beautiful Kristi. So well done and so well read. I remember when you read it to us during the video chat then night before your audition. Even more wonderful watching you read it.July 11, 2014 – 9:08 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much, Linda. I love this comment, and it feels so so long ago when I practiced for you guys. Thanks for listening and encouraging me to do it. I really wanted to chicken out, except I didn’t want to chicken out and really really appreciated your support (and can I say “really” any more times in a comment reply?).July 13, 2014 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - So beautiful and amazing Kristi. Your honesty and your words left me in tears. I am so proud that you shared this incredible message with the world. All who read or heard it are better for it. :)-AshleyJuly 12, 2014 – 10:30 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - wow, kristi! EVEN better than the practice on vid chat and I got all teary on that one!!!!! Lovely, simply lovely, zoeJuly 12, 2014 – 3:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAY for tears because that means I’m less of a freak for having them every time I even think about doing this OUT LOUD, on purpose. and yeah. thank you. big. xoxoxJuly 13, 2014 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.at Parental Intelligence - It’s so great for all the viewers that you were on that show. Your words are so important for other parents to hear. How your emotions grew and grew and how in love you are with being your child’s mother, the mother you have become.July 13, 2014 – 3:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, Laurie. I will always be in love with being my kid’s mom, but it’s true that before I had him, I was not sure about being able to love him. If even one person sees that and knows that it’s still fun and amazing? Then the time spent on SM is worth it. Thanks so much.July 13, 2014 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - **You’ll refrain from falling to your knees because your son is watching you.***

    This line truly got to me.

    Fabulous, powerful video.

    Thank you for sharing your heart w/ honesty, love, humor, rawness, and insight.July 13, 2014 – 5:15 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love that you loved that line and that it got to you. I so clearly remember being at the doctor’s office (and at early intervention AND when the teachers came to our home) and almost almost almost falling, but looking over at my boy, and knowing he was looking at me, and saying “Ok. What should we do?” instead. It was a big moment, and continues to be one… so I thank you huge for commenting on it and recognizing its import.July 13, 2014 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Nathaniel Kidd - Your words are so profound and powerful. I enjoyed the video. You have a way of connecting with your audience. Your message is powerful and empowering. Thanks for sharing.July 14, 2014 – 2:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you very much, Nathaniel! I appreciate the kind words and the visit.July 14, 2014 – 6:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Just saw the video today Kristi and oh my heart, I’m trying not to cry. Just beautiful! And the fact that you are such an inspiration to many makes you more special! Hugs to Tucker!July 15, 2014 – 3:41 amReplyCancel

  • Echo - I totally would have farted or croaked while trying to talk. I know it. You are so amazing, Kristi! Just awesome.July 16, 2014 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Echo, I’ll bet you’d rock LTYM. Is there one in your area? You should totally try out. You’d be fabulously awesome.July 18, 2014 – 5:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Norine of Science of Parenthood - What a beautiful post.July 16, 2014 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I just got a chance to see this today Kristi and wow, you did so well! Your words at powerful and you spoke so well too. Like most other people have written, I almost cried. (And it was great to see you and hear you talk.)July 16, 2014 – 12:50 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks big huge, Yvonne. It was such a powerful thing to get on stage and read something I’d written. xoJuly 18, 2014 – 5:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty - omg, your post should come with a tear-jerker warning! was there a dry eye in the house? the lady after you, oh my, i couldn’t make it all the way through her speech! you ladies are the bravest of the brave.

    i’m so happy you wrote and shared this with the world. it was like you had peaked inside my to the deepest, darkest, most hidden places of my soul.

    thankyou!!!!July 22, 2014 – 8:50 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - well, my eyes weren’t dry… for sure there. Oh and the one you’re talking about after me is my sweet friend Michele Vaughn and she’s awesome. You should listen to her video – after all of that, she’s now pregnant, with a baby girl, and feeling good. Plus, she’s awesome. And yeah, here’s to our dark insides friend xo.July 22, 2014 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Steph - You made me cry. That was beautiful.July 22, 2014 – 11:14 amReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - So sweet and so true! I remember how frustrating it was for me that no one would agree with me that something might be wrong. It was so obvious, yet everyone thought that by denying it they were making me feel better! I needed support and answers not denial! Your public speaking is awesome! You’re so brave! Great job Kristi!July 22, 2014 – 12:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Sylvia, I remember those frustrating times when we KNOW we KNOW and people want to be encouraging, and well, they are and they’re not. Because we know… Thank you so much for your amazing lovely comment.July 22, 2014 – 10:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Foxy Wine Pocket - Wow, Kristi, just wow. Your words are so beautiful and powerful. And hearing you speak them was absolutely amazing. xoxoJuly 23, 2014 – 1:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty - Thank you for that!!!! It brought tears to my eyes. I just got back from a family vacation that had me feeling exposed. We drove 11 hours for my son to be so sensory overloaded that he could hardly function at times. The feeling of people staring at your child in disapproval when you know your child is struggling more then these people (strangers and family) could ever imagine is heartbreaking. Trying so desperately to find the magical solution to help their little bodies feel okay in environments that most don’t think twice about. When you find the magical combination and your child begins to smile, you know that smile that instantly melts your heart! That smile helps the stares and mumbling disappear and all to feel right in that moment. The pride that you have for your child whom has just overcome more than they should ever have to, is radiating. I may not always like it, but I love being a special needs mom!July 23, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, Misty, So sorry about the family vacation and feeling exposed. 🙁 That’s so so hard. I hate the feeling of disapproval and yeah, feeling the magical solution is so hard but SO rewarding to get that amazingly awesome smile.
      I love how you said that you may not always like it but love being a special needs mom. YES. <3July 26, 2014 – 2:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - Kristi this is so beautiful, like I told you before. I can tell you’re exactly the kind of mom your child needs, and that is an amazing, miraculous thing!!September 10, 2014 – 3:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Meredith - And, I hate that I can’t correct my misspelling of you’re. UGH! 🙂September 10, 2014 – 3:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - Another beautiful post. It’s difficult to articulate how we feel as mother’s even when our kids are not autistic or don’t have special needs. You do such a beautiful job of finding the beauty in a difficult situation and telling us about it. Bravo.September 11, 2014 – 2:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you thank you Kathleen!!! I know what you mean.. I don’t even know yet what Tucker’s needs will be but. well, thank you@October 19, 2014 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristina Grum - This was beautiful. Simply beautiful.September 11, 2014 – 8:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Sharon - Hi Kristi I just watched the video of you and it brought tears to my eyes. Finally a mum who gets what it is like to have an autistic child. My son Caleb is 5 years old and he was diagnosed when he was 3. Every thing you said was exactly how I felt, and that family/friends will never quite understand what it is really like. It is a tough road ahead for us mums but it is also filled with lots of wonderful moments too. We are so lucky that our son goes to a main stream school (Catholic). The school has been so amazing in assisting our son and the children and their parents are also amazing. They have welcomed, accepted and loved my son and we feel blessed by this. I look forward to reading all your wonderful stories.
    Kind regards
    SharonSeptember 24, 2014 – 7:07 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hi Sharon, I’m so sorry that I’m just now seeing this (UGH) really sorry. I love reading that your awesome son Caleb is getting mainstreamed and doing so well. I feel very lucky that Tucker is also mainstreamed right now although I also feel sad about it is that means he’s not getting some of the therapy he might benefit from (that made him talk)… Thank you SO MUCH for coming and commenting. It means the world to me.October 19, 2014 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

Note: I’m linking up with the TToT because I’m thankful!! Yes, I posted this on Tuesday (while our trip was awesome, the wifi was not and I really really wanted to link this up last week). For those of you who already read this, feel free to check out my LTYM VIDEO, because I’m super thankful […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
email a friend

  • Mytwicebakedpotato - Loved this 🙂
    Especially the “not so little but still little boy”
    I understand thatJuly 7, 2014 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, the not so little, little boy… sigh. He’s still a baby, ya know? But not.July 8, 2014 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - And…. there IT IS! There is no greater feeling than that of landing in your mom place, with your perfect child and your perfect purpose. I am SO glad you embraced each and every moment this weekend, celebrating such a LIFE moment together.

    All of it. Messy, maddening, breathtaking,Perfect.July 7, 2014 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - True that, Chris, that there’s no better place than the mom place to land, and to celebrate, no matter how we got where we are.July 8, 2014 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Lana - Well, you did it again, and now I’m sobbing like a baby over here! Happy Birthday to your perfect son, and congratulations to you, the perfect mom for him. Have a great week!July 8, 2014 – 1:15 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry for the sobbing, and thank you thank you thank you huge. I hope your week is amazing, too!July 8, 2014 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Happy birthday Tucker. This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful little guy.July 8, 2014 – 1:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, big, Linda. Are you in Alaska right now? And how is Nick??? here’s to amazing travel, and well, of course, Tucker turning five, too 🙂July 8, 2014 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - “Happy Birthday, ThisLife”? He’s every bit as deep and wonderful and amazing as you 🙂

    This is GORRRRRGEOUS and I love it to pieces, and you, and Tucker, and all the everythings of perfect that you all are and this is, even if someone feels the need to wrap it in labels – none of those people are here. It is what it is, and it’s LIFE and it’s lovely.

    Thank you for sharing Tucker’s birthday 🙂July 8, 2014 – 1:48 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, dude, thanks! The “Happy Birthday, ThisLife” was me. He was the “I say, (hesitation big) Thank you, fireworks” which, for HIM, is as big or as huge as “happy birthday this life, as, well, just a little over a year ago, water was still “ah.” We love you to pieces too, and labels are stupid and helpful and all of the betweens. <3July 8, 2014 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

      • Considerer - You know what, I remember when you wondered if he’d be able to speak…he’s thanking the fireworks for bringing him happiness…he SPEAKS. And even if it’s sometimes still mu-isk, you know what? He can be understood and time will bring more words. He’s not daft; he’ll be alright, I’m sure. He’s making such progress, but more importantly, he has you in his corner, and he KNOWS IT. That counts for most of all.July 9, 2014 – 1:46 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks, Lizzi. That means a lot and you’re so right. He SPEAKS, and that’s hugehuge.July 9, 2014 – 1:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Totally grinning ear to ear reading this today. Tucker’s 5th birthday looked absolutely perfect and magical, too. Seriously, hope I can now do Emma’s justice next week. Just so very happy to get to be a small part of his special day though and see the recap here 🙂July 8, 2014 – 6:57 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know you’ll do Emma’s bigger than justice, Janine. And, you know what? One thing I learned from Tucker’s fifth is that it just mattered that it mattered. He was fine when we said “no more toys” and that his cake wasn’t what he wanted (I should post about that too). It was just being special and five that mattered. You will ROCK Emma’s, I know it. <3July 8, 2014 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - Happy 5th Tucker!

    It looks like you had a wonderful weekend – and the post was worth the wait 🙂July 8, 2014 – 7:36 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Happy Day Boo’s Tucker!!!! You are just precious beyond words but your momma managed to do it. Awesome tribute to your son, my friend. Simply awesome.July 8, 2014 – 9:03 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Kerri. I guess I’m kinda wondering if the sea monkey thing made it here, or if I should use it somewhere else??? But thank you.July 8, 2014 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Oh, Kristi! This has me in happy tears. Every time I read a post of yours I think to myself this is the best one yet. Then I read another one and find out I was wrong. I love every word of this post and Tucker is so big and so handsome! Happy Birthday to your gorgeous in every way son!
    I’ve said it before….God knew what he was doing the day he gave Tucker to you…and you to Tucker.July 8, 2014 – 10:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sandy,
      You are So Kind, too kind, and thank you. Tucker IS so big and so handsome and how big he is breaks my heart a little lot a bit and wow, time. I believe you’re right that God gave him to me and me to him, on purpose, but sometimes, of course, I think I’m flunking him, like all of us think, I guess. And thanks, you, you.July 8, 2014 – 10:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I loved the sentence scared to hope for but dared to hope for anyway. The other day Christopher asked me what was the best thing that had ever happened to me. At first I said because I have lived a lot longer than him, it was hard to choose. Then I said, “Actually the best thing that ever happened to me was having you.” He said, “Thanks mom.” I couldn’t see his face he was in the back seat but I felt that’s what he wanted to hear anyway 😉 – not that “hard to choose” explanation.

    Love the last line.

    I’m glad you guys had a beautiful “post hurricane” day. Love the pics and I really wanted to see one of the orange cake. 😉July 8, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
      I think the having ONE kid thing is bigger and huger than we realize now. Because of course, of course (!) growing up, we (at least I did, and suspect you the same based on what I know of you) expected to have at least two, maybe three and while four sounds crazy it also sounds okay???) thought it would be different. But you know what? I’m glad we have one. Christopher and Tucker will always always know that they are our best things. LOVE that he wanted/needed that from you and I’ll show a pic of the no longer orange cake but orange letters soon, I promise!July 8, 2014 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Uplifting Families - Happy Birthday to your son, I hope he enjoyed his birthday and sea monkeys. I remember seeing my friend have some of those creatures, they were weird. It is funny how kids enjoy the simple things in life, enjoy it because it doesn’t last forever. As a teenager, he will want big toys like phones, tablets, game consoles and more.July 8, 2014 – 5:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sea Monkeys are icky and yeah, I know what you mean about big kids wanting big toys!!July 8, 2014 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Beautiful post! Happy Birthday Tucker! I can’t even imagine how magical your day was! What an amazing birthday celebration!July 8, 2014 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Sarah. he did have a magical day (after the hurricane passed anyway).July 8, 2014 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Lorre Lyons - Beautiful words! Happy Birthday sweet boy!July 8, 2014 – 8:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandy @ Being Content Where We Are - Such a sweet face in all of those pictures. Happy Birthday! I also have a 5 year old and identified with every word. Thank you for sharing his birthday celebration with us.July 8, 2014 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I just love that conversation at the end — sooo awesome and sweet and innocent and PERFECT. And I love the moments too. I think sometimes those of us who have kids with any type of challenges learn to appreciate those moments sooner, because we take so much less for granted. At least I hope so.July 8, 2014 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re right about us appreciating the moments sooner when we have kids with challenges, Emily. Totally!July 9, 2014 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Aw! This was so perfect. You are a wonderful special needs mom! I adore your pictures and Tucker’s sweet face. I hope he had a wonderful birthday! (My fave is the one of both of you. He looks so much like you!)July 8, 2014 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thank you, Courtney! You’re pretty awesome your own self, ya know? And he really did have a fabulous birthday. Spoiled and perfect.July 9, 2014 – 1:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Better than Sea Monkeys, indeed! Happy birthday to Tucker, and thanks for fireworks!July 9, 2014 – 12:35 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - I so loved this, Kristi! You echoed my sentiment that I’ve left in comments more than once about your adorable little Tucker – “And I knew, again, that this is exactly, perfectly, my perfect, perfect boy.” That’s only how I ever see him and will ever see him! Just in the time I’ve followed you and read dozens of your previous posts before we met I felt like I’ve been able to share along in reading your’s and his journey 🙂 I sent a message the other day and doing so again here, Happy Birthday Tucker! I loved all of the pictures so very much but would pick that smile and on the swinging ride as my favorite. So free and full of joy in his right and perfect heart! So much love always sent to you guys from us! 🙂July 9, 2014 – 3:02 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mike,
      You are the BEST commenter ever. I love that you see Tucker as perfect (he really is) and thanks so very much for the wonderful happy birthday messages for him. Love back to you guys!July 9, 2014 – 2:00 pmReplyCancel

      • Mike - Right back at you for BEST commenter our dear Kristi! 🙂July 9, 2014 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - XO let me know when you’re in DC. I won’t cook because duh but we’ll buy you a nice dinner 🙂July 22, 2014 – 8:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I love this post! You have so aptly described how it feels to hear “the words” and how that feels, but also how it feels to live and realize that life is still beautiful and your child is still perfect. Happy Birthday Tucker and well done mama!July 9, 2014 – 7:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks huge, Lisa! Life is really still beautiful even after hearing the words. (those dreaded words that we – I think – make too big of a deal of because really, he’s still the same kid before hearing the words right?)
      xoJuly 9, 2014 – 2:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine - Oh Kristi, you are such a fantastic mom. I’m glad you had such a great time at the beach and watching the fireworks.
    Happy birthday, Tucker!July 9, 2014 – 8:19 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so very much, Christine! I hope you’re feeling great and not in too much pain from your knee surgery. And the beach and fireworks really were wonderful.July 9, 2014 – 2:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - “The sun still shines, the clouds still cloud, and the laundry still sits there, undone. Your kid is still the best boy ever”
    This whole post.
    All of it.
    Makes me call you a giant asshole because I’m in tears. You’re a good mom and don’t forget that. He is loved unconditionally and look at him bloom into an even awesomer awesome of the awesome. Makes no sense but you get it.
    xoxo
    Happy Birthday wee manJuly 9, 2014 – 9:30 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sorry for being the giant asshole who gave you tears, Kimberly and yeah, I totally get the awesomer of the awesome of the awesome and love it. And thanks huge for your awesomest of comments, awesome one.July 9, 2014 – 2:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - First, happy birthday Tucker! Second, I love that your experience as a mom of an amazing boy with special needs has been the complete opposite of sea monkeys. That’s a message that other parents should hear – that I’m sure many NEED to hear. Even if it’s not exactly what you imagined it would be, motherhood and your baby are better than you ever imagined, right?July 9, 2014 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Dana! I’m glad it’s the complete opposite of sea monkeys, too, because they are seriously the worst pet ever invented. And yeah, motherhood and my baby are way better than anything I ever dreamed. xoJuly 9, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy at kissing the frog - Better than sea monkeys indeed. I like that analogy. There is nothing that is the same about parenting a special needs child. It completely makes you a better parent. I see that now. I used to wish that things wouldn’t be so hard, but now I wouldn’t have it any other way.July 9, 2014 – 11:15 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know what you mean, Kathy! I think it really does make us more appreciative for sure, and I can’t say that I’d have it any other way, either. Hope you’re having a great week!July 9, 2014 – 2:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I’ve actually never heard of sea monkeys (I live under a rock) but your analogy here was so beautiful and made the whole thing sound so magical that I thought it was something you invented until I read Julie’s comment. I absolutely love how you describe special needs as getting a face and that face is that single most wonderful and fulfilling, inspiring and significant face in the whole wide world and so “special needs” becomes that face and that takes the edge off The Words. You write so beautifully and originally that I am often at a loss for words after reading your posts. I feel that way right now. Happy birthday to that wonderful, wonderful face, and toes and smile and hair and loveliness and wonder which is your boy, Tucker. And to his absolutely amazing mama.July 9, 2014 – 8:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thank you Katia! Sea Monkeys are the dumbest thing ever. I think they’re actually tiny shrimp. You get a package of them like freeze-dried or whatever, and add them to water and “watch them grow.” They’re gross and dumb! I love your comment. So much. Thank you.July 11, 2014 – 10:04 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - HEY my wifi crapped out and lets me comment sometimes but your site is one of those ( Dyannes too) that doesnt like my phone so long story longer… I missed the comment on the bday party and just wanna say two things:

    1. If see monkeys dont have crowns and little castles then dont freakin advertise em like they do! seamonkeys suck air! which I suspect would kill them… they are basically krill which is food for fish so hell… what? Im growing the equivilent of brocolli and would be more excited by that… okay rant done!

    2. SO PROUD AND HAPPY TUCKER MAN!!!! FIVE! FIVE! FIVE! WOOHOO!!!!
    YOU ARE A KABILLION AND A HALF MORE COOLER THAN SEA MONKEYS EVEN IF THEY HAD CROWNS! TWENTY KABILLION EVEN!!!!! XOXOXOXO UNCLE SKIPS AND ZOEJuly 10, 2014 – 6:08 amReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - I remember “I like Dumbo ride” – my older son’s first unprompted words, which he spoke at Disneyland. We reacted just like you did to Tucker’s firework joy.

    It’s magical watching kids make sense of their world, and their place in it.

    Congrats on helping Tucker to grow and develop into everything that he can be. Know that he truly loves you.July 10, 2014 – 6:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - “I like Dumbo ride” is full of awesomeness, especially as your son’s first unprompted words! That’s so cool!!! And I agree – watching kids make sense of everything is the best magical git ever. Thanks so much, Anna.July 11, 2014 – 10:10 amReplyCancel

  • Jill @ Do Try This At Home - Found you on the pin it party & had to rush right over because of the title. Very sweet post & happy birthday to Tucker!July 11, 2014 – 6:59 amReplyCancel

  • KeAnne - Beautiful post, and happy 5th to your sweet boy! My son turned 5 on June 2, and it’s hard to believe he has reached that milestone.July 11, 2014 – 12:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much for the comment, KeAnne, and happy birthday to your son! 5 is a HUGE one, right? I mean, it’s like all of a sudden too soon, they’re no longer babies…July 12, 2014 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - How did I miss this??? Was I cleaning my house? You have reduced me to tears once again because…yes. All of it. Happy happy (belated) birthday to all of you!!!
    Zilla turned 6 in June and it’s so hard to believe it’s been that long…and that short…already.July 12, 2014 – 4:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa, same way we all miss these – life gets in the way, which is totally how it’s supposed to Be and all that goodness. And yeah, so hard to believe it’s been that long and short and fast and slow, and happy happy belated birthday to Zilla who wow – six. Time it flies.July 12, 2014 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • BB - You’re awesome. What a great way to view special-needs parenting, and what a great ally and source of love you are for your son.July 12, 2014 – 9:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You’re awesome BB. I just commented on your post. I want you to write an Our Land, if you’re up to it. and xo.July 13, 2014 – 12:05 amReplyCancel

  • Tarana - Happy fifth birthday to your perfect boy! As always, beautiful post, Kristi. I love how you are so good at describing exactly what you want to say. Your writing really touches hearts.July 13, 2014 – 9:25 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Tarana! I don’t always feel like I get the point across the way it’s in my head, but I suppose close enough is close enough. I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!July 13, 2014 – 3:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy Christi - That looks like THEE most wonderful vacation, for thee most wonderful family! Happy birthday handsome Tucker! He’s so lucky to have such a wonderul, loving, thankful Mom!July 13, 2014 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Romi - What a powerful piece of writing this is, Kristi.

    A little belated Happy Birthday to Tucker! And Happy Birthday to This Life!
    Happy Birthday to a new day!July 13, 2014 – 5:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Exactly. You, as always, write it perfectly.
    Don’t even apologize for being out of the loop. I have been a mess and a half this summer trying to keep up with houseguests and trips and family illness.July 13, 2014 – 5:59 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sarah, the whole summertime IRL stuff is crazy. We have no babysitter for this next week unless a friend of mine comes through with a nanny share thing, and ugh. No clue how I’m going to be able to work and stuff!! Thanks for getting it but yucky to the family illness. I hope everybody is ok???July 13, 2014 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Val Newman - My heart is filled with so much love for Tucker and you and what a wonderful caring, loving PERFECT mom you are. And he is precious and adorable.

    Happy Birthday, Tucker

    ValJuly 13, 2014 – 6:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Awww thank you thank you!!! He’s totally precious and adorable. And also, sometimes a crazy monkey monster, but we love him then, too 😉July 13, 2014 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Marisa - I am new here and will be posting soon my TTOT –

    Happy Birthday to your perfect boy! 🙂July 13, 2014 – 10:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Can’t wait to read it, Marisa!!! And thanks for the sweet birthday wishes 🙂July 13, 2014 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Look at that handsome young man! He is so lucky to have you as a mom, and how lucky you are to have such an awesome kid Kristi. You are such a strong person and I look up to you. I understand the fear, my little girl is a little behind on hitting her milestones too but we plod on. And you are such an inspiration!July 14, 2014 – 10:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks so much Jhanis. I’m so lucky to have him. The fear is scary but really, we’re all so blessed. Here’s to plodding on and on, friend.July 17, 2014 – 12:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - Happy birthday to Tucker, and thank you America, for sharing your birthday party with this wonderful boy. I enjoyed getting to know you through this post. Thank you to whoever added it to DifferentDream.com’s Tuesday link share.July 16, 2014 – 9:12 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, Jolene. Tucker’s one awesome little dude for sure! 🙂July 17, 2014 – 12:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna - He’s climbing a rock wall!!! Climb on!July 19, 2014 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Anna, well, it looks like he did a lot better with it than he actually did because of the photo. He wanted to climb it though, which is big. Huge. 🙂July 19, 2014 – 11:35 amReplyCancel

  • Laurie Hollman PhD @ Parental Intelligence - Happy Birthday Tucker. Amazing how each birthday reminds us of the
    first.July 19, 2014 – 8:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really really is amazing. And how, as they grow, even old mamas like me want to do it again and again. Thanks much.July 19, 2014 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - Happy birthday to a sweet boy! It looks like you all had a successful celebratory day out. Tucker looks absolutely ecstatic! I’m so glad he had a wonderful birthday! Kristi, only you would be able to come up with some way of relating being a special needs mom to sea monkeys! I hate those things, but I love being a mom, special or otherwise!July 19, 2014 – 9:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks so much Sylvia, we did have a successful trip – it took a few days to get it all in, and too late bedtimes and well, you know but yeah, I cannot complain because it was mostly beautiful and wonderful. HAHAH to sea monkeys and hating them! THey are awful!!!July 20, 2014 – 12:46 amReplyCancel

  • Misty - awe, that comment from your hubby is so awesome! i love to read your blog. makes me feel like i am right there living the moment with you. i think i have sand in my hair now. this post, all of your posts, is such a wonderful story about what it’s like to be a special needs family. we are all just ordinary people living extraordindary lives, right?!July 21, 2014 – 6:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Misty – I agree that the comment from Robert was awesome and thank you huge big huge for the gigantic compliment!!! So happy to read that you have sand in your hair after reading it (and the best kind of sand needs no washing out yeah?). And yes. We are all just ordinary people living extraordinary lives. Or extraordinary people living ordinary lives? Almost, if you really really think about it, the same thing. Which is the part that binds us. xoJuly 21, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie - Okay, that was ALLL kinds of wonderful!!!!! What a wonderful way to celebrate your boy – boy with the trip and the tribute! I agree whole-heartedly. My favorite is the line “Please don’t feel sorry for us.” I feel the same way. We have a wonderful, crazy and messy life, just like you.July 22, 2014 – 10:37 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks big Allie!!! It was awesome to take that trip with him. We almost hardly at all complained about the rides being per ticket prices rather than general admission when he had to ride the roller coaster and water rides a billion times. I know what you mean – it’s easy to feel sorry for us, right? But we do have crazy wonderful awesome lives… xoJuly 22, 2014 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - Tucker is such a beautiful soul because he has an amazing mother! I miss you beauty.
    I see you’re posting about as often as I do these days! Damn busy fucking lives!!!! LOL

    Hugs to you and Happy {very} belated birthday to T-man!!

    xoxo
    LanayaJuly 25, 2014 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I loved this the first time I read it and I loved it the second time–even more.
    Hope you are having the time of your life this weekend. I believe you are at BlogHer winning more and more awards–because you deserve them. Hope your upcoming week will be grand.July 28, 2014 – 2:10 amReplyCancel

  • Eli@coachdaddy - To me, this has less to do with special needs as it does with special connection. About parents who are so in tune and in love and involved with their child that nothing else on earth matters.

    I wish that if this was what it meant to be special needs, that every child in the world was special need. I love how you love him – and how he loves you back.July 28, 2014 – 2:15 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - –3 Words.

    He. Is. Beautiful. <3August 2, 2014 – 8:40 pmReplyCancel

This was originally published when my blog was a tiny 5-week old baby and about two people read it (thanks, Sara and Henriette). Because I’m extremely lazy busy, getting ready to celebrate Tucker’s fifth (OMG) birthday on Friday at the beach (whoot!), I figured I’d put it out there again with some updates, like the […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Sara - As soon as I read this I thought of this old Woody Allen routine he did about his appliances ganging up against him. You must hear it:

    November 9, 2012 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Sara, that is funny! Thanks so much for sharing it. I’d never heard it before. Hilarious! 🙂November 10, 2012 – 6:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer - Haha I just read this one. Missed it before its so funny. How do you draw the pictures?November 10, 2012 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Jennifer, I just use Photoshop with a mouse. I’m sure there are a million easier ways.November 12, 2012 – 6:11 pmReplyCancel

  • thebeesleybuzz - love those cartoon pictures – so funny xNovember 12, 2012 – 3:38 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Thank you so much! Just tried to comment on your homeschool post, but was unable to prove that I’m not a robot. I did try though. A whole bunch of times! Thanks again!November 12, 2012 – 6:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Momito - Very funny! I love your pictures! Hopefully your appliances are working now!November 14, 2012 – 12:45 amReplyCancel

    • admin - $300 later and they seem to be fine. Sigh.March 11, 2013 – 8:10 amReplyCancel

  • Pink Ninja Media - You seriously almost made me pee in my pants!November 20, 2012 – 1:53 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thanks Pink Ninja! 😀March 11, 2013 – 8:10 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - Hey Isaiah stuck his hand in a moving fan this summer and cut his finger, so there’s always that.
    Plus you need to win an award for hystericalness. Fer real. Cause dude. There is no one like you on the planet. And I think you should have kept the pooing coffee pots just for the laughs. I wish my appliances talked…..March 11, 2013 – 1:18 amReplyCancel

    • admin - OUCH to Isaiah sticking his hand in a moving fan. OW. Maybe you’re right and I should have kept the pooping coffee pot. And thanks HUGE for the awesome loves with the award comment. I wish! 😀March 11, 2013 – 8:09 amReplyCancel

  • christine - Your parents’ appliances don’t stop working because things were made better back then. Our gadgets may have fancy computers and flashy settings, but they suck and break way too fast. When we bought our first house, it still had the original refrigerator built by Ford (It had a Ford label right on the front.) in 1970 or so. If finally broke and we had to replace it in 2003. The compressor in the one we bought went up in a burst of flame exactly 5 years later, 3 days after the warranty ran out. New appliances suck. It’s not you. Well, except for that dumb finger in the fan move. What the heck were you thinking?? 🙂

    Have a great birthday party at the beach!July 2, 2014 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - So true about the stupid fancy boards and settings and all of that. And I love love the idea of your supercool fridge having a big old Ford label on it! It burst in flames though – the new one? So freaking typical. I can’t believe how crappy these appliances have been!!! Oh. The finger thing. Um, yeah. lalallallalallJuly 2, 2014 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - While this is NOT funny for you this was hysterical to read because of your cartoon pics which I will always be a HUGE FAN of! 🙂 I am sorry for your appliance battle and yes not a good idea to stick your digits in the vicinity of spinning things. I think there is a lot of truth to what Christine said in that appliances are made with too many internal components these days. Hey, when they work…it’s great! But, as your trials and tribulations show it is frustration. And, yes I’ve been there! Coffee poo…still laughing at that! Speaking of home repair the guys will be here shortly to fix my sliding glass door. I went to open it (it had long since been screaming for help) last week and it wouldn’t. Phoenix looked down at his paw tapping his “watch” saying, “I really gotta go potty…” LOL 🙂July 2, 2014 – 1:09 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks Mike!! I think so too – about the appliances being made crappier and dumber with all of their bells and whistles. Here’s to your new sliding glass door not shattering next time you open it. It probably would if I did…July 2, 2014 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I’m cracking up because I read this post before I knew it was okay to comment on another person’s blog. Yeah, I’m a fool. Have you heard of Kureg? I don’t drink coffee but I hear it is easier than having the pot break on you. Or you could go back to the perculatorJuly 2, 2014 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Are you serious??? You found this when I was a baby? Remind me when you started blogging – I always thought yours was so OLD when I found it?? Um, yeah, Kureg. My dad and stepmom have one but it’s one cup at a time. I like pouring my big old thermal full of like 2 cups and having it stay hot while Tucker tells me what I have to have to have to do to “get ready” each day.July 2, 2014 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Melissa Senecal - My problem is my electronics!! My appliances are old so maybe that’s a good thing but electronics in this house are possessed! Love the cartoon pics!July 2, 2014 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - My electronics suck, too. Or, I do, for them, because I keep dropping my phone in the toilet or on the floor… sigh.July 2, 2014 – 11:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Except for the coffee pot and toasters oiur stuff may be related. We wrote that HVAC check about four years ago. Of all the snow we don’t get, the day it decided to stop working Christopher and I had come in from playing in it. We spent the rest of the weekend under the covers.July 2, 2014 – 2:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - UGH to the dang appliances, Kenya (or Kanye heheeh). What is up with this stuff? It’s like it’s programed to break, once the warranty is over!.July 2, 2014 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I concur. Your appliances hate you. Or, you have a ghost. Have you considered that option?July 2, 2014 – 2:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - A ghost would be way more sexy than that the stupid fridge, and microwave, and toasters, and coffee pots hating me. I might need to run with that. I’ll give you credit.July 2, 2014 – 11:47 pmReplyCancel

  • don - Hahaha, your appliances hate you! Maybe if you gave them a gratuitous boob shot from time to time, they’d be more fond of you? Let me know if it works, I may try it on my kids. They also like to not do what they should be doing around the house.

    Happy birthday to the T man!! 5!! That’s a big boy age…so sad.July 2, 2014 – 5:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Damnit, it’s so your asshole fault tonight when I go upstairs and flash my dick of a fridge, microwave, and coffeepot with a boob shot.
      And yeah, so so sad about the big boy age. I might have to try to get knocked up again or whatever.July 2, 2014 – 11:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Sometimes I think I just must have broken anything, or else we just buy a lot of cheap crap.
    A little of column A.. a little of column B..July 2, 2014 – 5:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie D - OH MY GOSH, my appliances hate me too! Well, at least, the coffee maker does. It gets grinds all over the place every day. And the dishwasher spontaneously breaks every so often.
    Laughed so hard during this post! Glad you resurrected it. 🙂July 2, 2014 – 11:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Stupidfuckingcoffeemakers. Our dishwasher has been surprisingly non-assholish. Which means it will break within the next 30 days, probably.July 3, 2014 – 12:49 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - So sorry that this all happened to you but SO FUNNY with your commentary and the photos of the appliances hating you.
    Happy birthday to Tucker!July 2, 2014 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Lana - So glad you reposted this since I missed it the first time. My appliances hate me too! We keep babying along our heating system, but I fear a replacement is looming this winter 🙁 The only appliance that cooperates in my house is our toaster – we got it for our wedding 24 years ago and it still works! Except now I probably jinxed myself – better go toast a bagel to make sure. Have a great weekend!July 3, 2014 – 1:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ugh, Lana, so sorry to hear that your appliances hate you as well. Such a sucky thing and please tell me that your comment here didn’t jinx your toaster?July 3, 2014 – 10:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Callie Feyen - Kristi, you are too funny! This stuff happens to me too, and I SWEAR it’s not my fault! Except it probably is. 🙂

    Hope you’re having a great vacation and a wonderful time celebrating Tucker’s bday!July 4, 2014 – 6:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, Callie!! We’re having fun. This morning kinda sucked (we’re in Ocean City, NJ and it was freezing raining and windy) but tonight was AWESOME at the Boardwalk at some amusement park thing that Tucker LOVED. Plus, beach tomorrow, and fireworks tomorrow night, I hear. So it’s now a birthweek and celebrations daily 😉July 4, 2014 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - Our appliances hate us too. The burners on the stove stopped working…when we got down to 2 burners, we finally had it fixed. Then it was the dishwasher, which we had to replace. The oven doesn’t close all the way…we are using a rubberband right now to secure it…and the washing machine broke a while back too. We have an ancient one in the basement, but it’s now on it’s last legs. Oh, and the heat also broke this winter…but we had to fix that. It seems like it is always something! The garage door also broke last year. Maybe our house hates us. LOLJuly 6, 2014 – 5:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHAH to your house hating you – that sucks about your garage door and stove. Here’s to rubberbands and duct tape. Thanks for the funny (and too relatable) comment Michelle!!July 20, 2014 – 7:07 pmReplyCancel

      • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - The old washing machine in the basement finally kicked the bucket, and guess what I got?! A scratch and dent LG that is huge! I washed all of our comforters. We had a mound of laundry that literally looked like a foothill in our basement (apparently we have too many clothes because it was like that for months, I could not catch up) and I got it all done in one weekend with that huge washing machine. I am in love!July 20, 2014 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - My husband leaves coffee poo all over the house for me to find!July 7, 2014 – 7:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - I am SOOOO GLAD you re-posted this!! Oh you are HILARIOUS!!! I love your pics so much, they just make me DIE with laughter!! Geesh, my friend- you are really screwed on the coffee makers. What is UP with THAT?!!!July 8, 2014 – 12:12 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris, I had to repost it when our HVAC unit that is only FIVE YEARS old had to be fully replaced for too much money! So glad you liked it and yeah, no clue on the coffee makers!!July 20, 2014 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Caroline - Oh gosh, they really do hate you! It makes for good blog content though 🙂July 8, 2014 – 10:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Here’s to the annoying things in life making for funny blog content, Caroline!!July 20, 2014 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Love this! It reminds me of when I was a kid and my father traveled all the time. Invariably, as soon as he left on a 3 week trip somewhere else on the planet, some major appliance would break and my mom had to deal with it!

    Your drawings are priceless! Love them!July 13, 2014 – 12:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Elizabeth! Of course the appliances waited to break until your dad was out of town. Of COURSE!! 🙂July 20, 2014 – 7:11 pmReplyCancel

Almost every time that we go to our neighborhood playground, we see the same little girl. She must be about seven years old, and she’s always there alone. I’ll refrain from having an opinion on her being there alone all the time, because this is not a post about that, but one about self compassion […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Janine Huldie - First off, we just recently ran into a nasty little bullying girl at our own playground and had to explain to Emma that some kids are just plain not nice and to not let it get to her ever. Sad that at almost 5 years old that I had to do this, but I truly love your advice here and wish more parents would be on board teaching these simple lessons, because it sure would save our wonderful kids a lifetime of heartache or even disappointment. So, all I can say here is well said and thank you my friend for putting it bluntly and perfectly!June 26, 2014 – 10:06 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Janine, for saying that you’ve experienced this, too. It’s so hard. On one hand, I know this kid needs help and love but on the other I’m like “WHERE THE EFF IS HER MOM???” But you know. I try not to judge and all that. Here’s to our babies turning five OMG FIVE.June 27, 2014 – 10:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - One of the things related to self-compassion I try to teach my son is that meanness does not form in a vacuum. Where did that little girl learn to be mean? Who is mean to her so that she replicates the behavior to others?

    In asking those questions, it gives us another perspective to get at root causes of his own meanness, crankiness, unkindnesses when they come up. We treat it like part of the human condition that he wants to control.June 26, 2014 – 10:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YES to meanness not forming in a vacuum. I try so hard to be empathetic to the little girl on the playground as well, but obviously my first response is to the kids she makes feel badly. This whole raising humans thing is hard! Here’s to letting all of the kids know they matter. No matter what.June 27, 2014 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - The notion of self-compassion is so so important and seeing it compared to self-esteem, it’s eye-opening to me. It’s so true that self-esteem emphasizes differences while self-compassion does not. This was truly enlightening – thank you for teaching me something new!June 26, 2014 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily, I’m still trying to wrap my dumb head around it but it makes sense. I mean, if self esteem fosters being better than, my little Tucker might never win. I mean maybe he will, but I’d rather have him feel self compassion and love for himself. Which is hard, because do I do that? No. I don’t. But, I really want to….June 27, 2014 – 10:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Kat - Most of the things that you touch on here seem like such common sense but so many people just don’t get it. Thank you for giving us all something to think about and a message to spread.June 26, 2014 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re right that so many people don’t get it. I think it’s hard to get, even when we’re trying to, I guess. Thank you so much for your comment.June 27, 2014 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Fantastic post and you up the ante to perfecting your message every time, Kristi. We are so proud of you! You said,”All this time, I thought self esteem was a good thing. It’s not, though, when you look at it through the lens of self esteem being dependent upon being different from, and better than one’s peers.” In that context I agree. But, as you came back to #5 on your list you confirm MY belief and my opinion that self-esteem is very good thing and that it is invaluable. On another note about this post, sometimes we are so close to a situation in our lives that we don’t see a lot of what others may see. From seat in front of the computer 3000 miles away from you guys over the past year it’s absolutely AMAZING to see, hear and read about Tucker’s phenomenal growth and progress! He’s such my little rock star and always will be! The part about the next school year had me absolutely BEAMING regarding that progress. As far as bullying goes…I have ZERO, ZERO TOLERANCE. I was bullied horrifically as a kid…big time. If Tucker has any problems with that please know that there is a man and his Golden Retriever who will gladly deal harshly with any bully of Tucker’s. Love you guys immensely 🙂June 26, 2014 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mike. You have such a beautiful heart. You inspire ME so much. Your dedication and love of Phoenix is amazing and beautiful and awe-inspiring. When it comes to #5, I think it’s okay for all of us to know that we are already perfectly imperfect. We’re all fucked up, and messed up, damaged, and broken. We are also the best of the best, and the most powerful of the powerful, because we are here. We feel. We believe. We matter, and we make a difference because we say FUCKYOU to growing up being treated like shit. But we also know that we’re more alike than different. We know that we’re connected. Because that’s the shit that gets us through this crazy painful life called life. And would we trade it? Nah.
      thank you huge big huge for getting it and for your love of Tucker and our family. We feel the same for you guys. Tell PDawg to make you give him some ice cream tonight. He deserves it.June 27, 2014 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Anna Fitfunner - I see self-compassion showing up in a lot of belief systems, particularly Zen Buddhism. Your thoughts suggested the following story (not original to me): There is a Buddhist teaching that says that when you get hurt by an arrow, that is pain. The arrow hitting your arm, it hurts. It is pain. However, there is a second arrow, which is your reaction to the arrow. Getting angry and planning revenge against the person that shot the arrow at you, that is beyond pain, that is suffering. Self-compassion means realizing that it is not necessary for you to suffer.June 26, 2014 – 10:48 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, Anna, I love that. It’s so true, isn’t it? I mean, that we so quickly put our pain on those who caused it, but in reality, it’s our choice to feel it and to feel like it’s about them, rather than about us. I’ll be thinking about that a lot, because well, wow. And thank youJune 27, 2014 – 10:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - I am pulling Cass from public school this year… and this has much to do with it. in addition to the sex, drugs, and bullying that now 11 year olds do. Sick, I know.

    Self compassion can be the connected to others compassion… it all intertwines as the golden rule. And there is far too much separation in this world- built with barriers of countless kinds. Far too much hate and vulger cruelty…

    We’ve lost our morals, our values in this society. Thank God there are precious strings that are fluent in love. I am clinging to them. And you.

    KRISTI! (I couldn’t just say that- how could I? Maybe next time!)June 26, 2014 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Chris. Really? I’m so sorry (and glad)?) because not sure how I feel about public vs. private right now. Tucker got so much help in public, but it was here, and with preschool autism classroom, and with non cat and I know it’s not the same everywhere…. We have lost morals. But in so many ways, we haven’t, you know? I mean there are all of us wanting them and wanting compassion for our children. Maybe this- the blogging and the writing and the scared hopefulness is what It Is About? Maybe. I hope.June 27, 2014 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I’m terrified of kindergarten and I see parents going through middle school and high school and I honestly don’t know how I will survive to that point.
    Especially when I read Chris’ post and others. Those kids are out there. My kids are not those kids. Yet. However I realize every day how important it is that they aren’t.
    Scarlet gets empathy and kindness pretty well.
    Des hits the cat, but he’ll learn.June 26, 2014 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - My sweet Tamara, I am so unbelievably terrified of kindergarten that I don’t even know how to talk about or write about it. Maybe, this is an attempt, I dunno. Des will get over hitting the cat. Tucker wants to “freeze” me with crackle because stupid awesome Lego movie…June 27, 2014 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - I remember a little bully in the mall play area…his fatehr’s way to deal with him was to push his head or grunt at him…no wonder the kid was the way he is.
    I love this post, I have to start teaching Dino to understand why kids act the way they do…they learned it somewhere…just like he learned to be kind, use manners, and give hugs.
    I fear that he too will be bullied in Kindergarten, all it takes is one kid to pick out a victim…but I also hope that with Dino being friends with everyone he meets that he will befriend the victims and stand up for them perhaps.June 27, 2014 – 5:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hate those stories, Karen and they are all too common. Too many parents and people are just here for themselves – me too at times, which is why I want to remember and remember hard that there’s other stuff going on… Here’s to our kids befriending victims and not being them…June 27, 2014 – 11:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, this post is just brilliant. I feel honoured to be included in it. I love your quotes from Sarah and Deb too.

    And those 8 ways to foster self-compassion! Yes to every one of them. I particularly like the first one, third and seventh. First because it is such a great way to explain to someone what self-compassion looks like. Third because, yes, yes – allow your feelings first and then so often it is easier to drop our resistance. And the seventh is something that doesn’t often get discussed, but is really important – so often I’ve seen adults react with confusion when kids point out that someone has a different colour of skin or is different in some way. But the children aren’t judging, they are curious and there’s a world of difference. It’s utterly okay to realise that we are all different and yet, as you also point out, underneath we are far closer than we often realise.
    You’ve got me thinking about self-esteem again (as did Mike’s comment) and I guess that instead of high, what we want is healthy self-esteem, where we are able to see ourselves realistically, feel okay as we are, and yet also be willing to change when it’s for our best interests. Self-compassion fosters that.

    I’ve already said this, but really I just love how you’ve included quotes from other bloggers – I love that what we’ve written can spark something in you, that then sparks something in someone else, and in me again. It’s so wonderful to have this amazing tool, the internet, to connect like this and create mutual support and growth!
    Thank you for this beautiful post, my friend!June 27, 2014 – 5:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yvonne,
      Thank you so much for your original comment. Although I’d read about self compassion, it was not until your comment that I really started thinking about how different it is from self esteem and I thank you for helping me become more aware. Thanks for agreeing to allow me to use your quotes, too – they are perfect. And yeah, the number seven one is a big one. It can be uncomfortable to know what to say to kids when they notice a difference, but by getting weird and whispery about it, we’re really teaching them that there’s something wrong with noticing. So I try to directly acknowledge it and do so without weirdness or a big reaction. Hopefully I’m doing it right! And thanks again!June 28, 2014 – 10:24 amReplyCancel

  • Tarana - You’re not alone in your fears about school. I find school to be a stifling influence, anyway. It’s sad to see kids turning into bullies because they are just starved of love and affection at home.June 27, 2014 – 7:32 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Tarana, school is scary. And yeah, poor kids… all kids need tons of love and affection.June 28, 2014 – 10:25 amReplyCancel

  • Misty - awesome post. i’d never thought about the relationship esteem has with success, but it makes a lot of sense. patty is already having worries that 2nd grade will be too hard for her, we saw this in 1st grade too. i try to always remember that even the regular kids have things they struggle with in school, i’m guessing there are only a handful of kids who find that all of school comes easily to them? there’s no one size fits all reaction, we just tell patty to do her best and we will love her no matter what! as for that playground bully, you have a great opportunity to be a positive role model in her life. obviously she hasn’t been taught about acceptance and how to be respectful of others. she is lucky that you guys go to the same playground!June 27, 2014 – 9:29 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I haven’t thought before about the relationship between esteem and success either but I really am thinking about it a lot now, mostly because I know that Tucker’s a prime candidate for giving up on something because it’s “too hard.” I had things I struggled with in school – I think most people have something they struggle with. The challenge for my son will be that he struggles with so much more than so many of his peers. I just never want him to feel like he’s a dummy…. so hard to know how to help them just be the best they can and not worry about it, ya know?June 28, 2014 – 10:40 amReplyCancel

      • Misty - totally. i guess all good parents worry that we are “messing up” our kids, right? it’s not just those of us who face the regular with a little extra thrown in for good measure?June 29, 2014 – 8:35 amReplyCancel

  • nothingbythebook - I think this is a beautiful post, and a message that cannot be repeated too often. The one point that I veer off-course with you at is… I don’t think everyone is the same on the inside. Nor should they be. A land of compassion should celebrate difference-diversity-uniqueness as much as it seeks to highlight similarity-bridges-commonality. I am quite different–inside and out–from some of the people I most love. And that’s ok… wonderful, in fact. Does that make sense?June 27, 2014 – 11:34 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much. What you say about everybody not being the same on the inside – I know what you mean. I think I was referring more to blood and guts and bones and stuff. Here’s to celebrating ALL of the differences and accepting everybody for who she is and loving the ones we love.June 28, 2014 – 10:50 amReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - I loved this post and also Yvonne’s response. Healthy self-esteem. True self-compassion. So difficult, elusive, yet so important. I think about it every day. And sometimes the fact that I wrote that Our Land post makes me stop for a second and think about what I am saying to myself. I put it out in public, and now I need to start trying a little harder! Something like that.

    I also agree with Jane — celebrating diversity is the key. But also key is that we are all part of the same mosaic, all drops in the same ocean. It’s a balance, a very important one. Brava you.June 27, 2014 – 1:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Deb, it IS so damn difficult and so important. I have been thinking about it so much recently. The fact that while thinking about being kind to myself, I am also simultaneously thinking how fat I am is something I don’t know how to shake. Yes, to all being drops in the same ocean. xoJune 28, 2014 – 10:57 amReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Also: Wow. I can’t believe it’s been a year since I wrote that piece!June 27, 2014 – 1:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - OK, you’re not the only one. This is a new idea to me, too, and I LOVE it. I struggle with the concept of strengths (on which to base self-esteem) and challenges. While I think it is valid and am definitely not talking of discarding the idea that everyone has strengths, the bottom line is that some people’s strengths are stronger than others’. Horrible to admit, but true. I love this idea of self-compassion over self-esteem because it covers that. You don’t have to find a strength that stands out from everyone else’s you just have to have compassion for yourself and others. It’s a whole new idea, a whole new way of looking at it!
    Also loved how you quoted the different bloggers. I need to read that book Yvonne was talking about. I am always struck by her use of language.June 27, 2014 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love it too Sarah. And I think it’s really important to know that we’re fine the way we are and that while we should strive to be better for ourselves, that knowing other people are better at things than we’ll ever be should not take away from our own achievements. Or something like that. And yeah, I need to read that book too.June 28, 2014 – 11:00 amReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Hmmm…I think you are right about self-esteem. The idea I think is to teach kids who they are, compassion and how to treat others. People who know who they are, understand how to care and show compassion towards others don’t find themselves on either end of arrogance or self hate. Either end of the spectrum can make for some pretty crappy personalities. 🙁 On the other hand, I’d like to believe that my faith helps with establishing the balance of how I see myself and others as well as how I treat both. 🙂June 27, 2014 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Brittnei, yes, I think teaching kids who they are and having compassion for themselves and for others is key to an accepting and loving world.June 28, 2014 – 11:01 amReplyCancel

  • Allie - How in the world did you whip up this amazing post so quickly?!??!?! I’m in awe! And after the terrible driving traffic day we’ve just had – and my resulting snarkiness toward the children:( – I am grateful to you for reminding me to have self compassion. And have fun with the kids. My only contribution, form my fried brain would be to have a forgiving heart.

    BTW – Tucker is not weird, he is completely charming and adorable. Also, there’s a reason that girl is always by herself and hopefully she took your advice to heart.June 27, 2014 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Allie,
      I already had the idea and had started it, but thank you for thinking it’s amazing! I’m sorry about your terrible driving day – are you home now? And yes, a forgiving heart. That’s a huge one.
      XOXOJune 28, 2014 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I never really thought much about this difference between self-esteem and self-compassion. However, I agree with the points you have made. I would certainly scold my children if they referred to someone negatively as “Fatso,” yet I call myself that in my head on a regular basis. Why don’t I deserve the same compassion I would expect to be given to a complete stranger? It is definitely something I need to thin about and work on with my girls.June 27, 2014 – 5:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa, I never thought about it either until Yvonne’s comment but it’s such a good point, right? I mean, esteem means we need to be above average and not all of us can be above average. UGH to the Fatso voice in our heads. Sigh. You truly are beautiful though – inside and out. I can say that because I got to meet you in person!June 28, 2014 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I never really thought much about this difference between self-esteem and self-compassion. However, I agree with the points you have made. I would certainly scold my children if they referred to someone negatively as “Fatso,” yet I call myself that in my head on a regular basis. Why don’t I deserve the same compassion I would expect to be given to a complete stranger? It is definitely something I need to think about and work on with my girls.June 27, 2014 – 5:53 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I never had either, Lisa. UGH to calling ourselves anything but awesome in our heads 🙁August 2, 2014 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Lana - You are awesome. You did a brilliant job of comparing self esteem/self compassion. I have felt for several years now that we focus too much on self esteem with our children, and I’m worried that we have created a very narcissistic generation – time will tell. The world would be a much more wonderful place if we all spent more time on self compassion. Discussing it is a wonderful place to start. Have a great weekend!June 27, 2014 – 9:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lana, aw, thanks, you. I think you’re right about creating a very narcissistic generation, and it’s kinda scary. And I agree that the world would be so much better if we all spent time on self compassion. So much easier said than done though. I hope you have a great weekend, too!June 28, 2014 – 6:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Alison - This is such an important and beautiful post, thank you for writing it. Thank you for your tips. I think kindness goes a long way – towards ourselves, our family, our friends, our community (in real life and online). Compassion goes a long, long way.June 28, 2014 – 7:39 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think kindness and compassion go a long way, too, Alison. Sometimes, it’s easier to practice them than at others though…June 29, 2014 – 9:43 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - I’m reminded of something I’ve not thought of in a while. It was at swim practice and a little boy lashed out verbally at the son of a friend of mine. His dad just sat there listening, not correcting the son. My friend (the mom) stood up and walked over to the dad and laced into him. In a firm but polite way. Dad refused to get it. He shouted at her, grabbed his kid and stormed off. Ouch. We then had a lengthy chat with our own two kids about what happened. It was a wonderful talk for us. For the other lad? Probably not so much.June 28, 2014 – 11:42 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wow, Kelly. That dad sounds like an ass. Poor kid. At least your and your friend’s kids got a good lesson from it. Still, sounds horrifying. Those are the moments that I run over and over again in my head, wondering what I could have done to make the jerk “get it.” Sigh.June 29, 2014 – 9:44 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - I agree with Lizzi, that often the bullies need compassion, too. Good for you for taking the time to patiently and kindly teach that little girl. Bullying, of course, is not OK, but if we all viewed the actions of others under the umbrella of “where are they coming from?” we could interact with more kindness.

    Self-compassion is a great tool. We need to be as patient with ourselves as we are with others. Sometimes we can see the potential in others, but fail to recognize it in ourselves. We can love who we are becoming, not just the flawed person we are at the moment.June 28, 2014 – 1:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kristi, they do need compassion, too. It’s not always easy to remember at the time but yeah, one has to wonder “where are they coming from?” for sure. I love this “we can love who we are becoming, not just the flawed person we are at the moment.” I’m going to remember that quote. Beautiful.June 29, 2014 – 9:48 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - This is such an important message, Kristi. I am disturbed beyond belief at how much I had to explain to my daughter this year – in Kindergarten for crying out loud – about bullying, nastiness, and how to handle the choices that other people make in our general direction. Ridiculous. You’re right – as a society, we have abandoned morals and simple human decency, it seems. Whatever happened to being polite and kind simply because it was the right thing to do? Makes my stomach turn, actually, when I see how mean kids (and adults…and everyone) can be to one another. Tucker will be great because you will be right there helping him deal with the bullshit that life tosses at us.June 28, 2014 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
      I’m really bummed to read that you had to explain to your daughter about bullying already. Sigh. That’s REALLY sad. And scary. What’s wrong with people? Isn’t being kind pretty easy? UGH. And thanks so much for the encouragement. I just hope he’ll let me know if people at school are mean to him. It’s hard because I’m not sure he has the language to explain if that happens, ya know?June 29, 2014 – 9:56 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - I have a feeling that Tucker will thrive. But I get what you are worrying about. My son is special needs, but he is picked on because he is not socially acceptable, because he says what is on his mind rather than what he SHOULD say. That censor is not there, he is Sheldon Cooper. And I don’t have a diagnosis to say “Hey this is why he acts this way.”

    And I worry constantly about how others treat him because he has no censor-and he has no self-control and no friends. 🙁

    I love your tips. Kristi you are awesome.June 28, 2014 – 11:46 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Oh Sarah, that’s so damn hard 🙁 Can you go to the school and talk about special needs or something? I mean he doesn’t have to have a diagnosis to know that he processes things differently right? UGH. I’m really sorry that he’s getting picked on. That sucks and makes me super sad and want to go to his school myself and talk about kindness and empathy and that everybody has challenges!!June 29, 2014 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.at Parental Intelligence - This is a wonderful post because it’s about compassion and connection. The two C’s that make us human. The post itself offers both those virtues and is very moving to read. Thanks.June 29, 2014 – 4:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I wish I had more ideas, but you, my friend, captured this perfectly. Yvonne and you are both incredibly wise and caring. I’ve bookmarked this page because I know I’m going to want to come back to it and be reminded of some of the ways to practice self compassion and to teach it to my kids’. Self compassion doesn’t come naturally to me. In fact, my inner dialogue is the opposite of self compassionate. Your first advice resonated with me greatly. I know that I’m my own worst judge and accept it as a given, but should I? You wrote beautifully and from a beautiful place, which is very compassionate to begin with it. That girl would have evoked the same feelings in me. I can’t stand bullying.July 1, 2014 – 1:52 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t stand bullying either, Katia, and have a similar voice to yours in my head. Telling me I am old and fat and stupid, and that everybody does parenting better than I do and a 1,001 other things…but really, do I want my son to believe those things about me? About himself? NO. So I need to make it so that I don’t believe them either, ya know? So hard tough. So hard. Hugs to you – you are enough, exactly as you are. I promise. <3July 1, 2014 – 5:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - Kristi, this was so eye-opening. I had never considered the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem and I have about 13 things I want to quote from above, suffice it to say I’m going to re-read this and talk to my own children because it’s doubtful they know the difference either – and they need to, just as I do.July 2, 2014 – 1:03 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I had never considered it either, Stephanie, but I really think it’s important to foster self compassion rather than being better than average. I’m trying. Thanks so much for the comment!July 28, 2014 – 12:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Cass - I’ve worried about my special needs girl every single year that she’s been in inclusive classrooms. I cried over her every day when I’d pick up her sister from kindergarten and I’d see her out at recess…alone…but she is smart, beautiful, and so much stronger than I gave her credit for. We’ve considered putting her in a different school district w/ a better special needs program…but she’s managed to make leaps and bounds and even made some friends.July 2, 2014 – 7:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG the entire school thing is so unbelievably hard. I am terrified of kindergarten. Terrified. Thank you for saying something. Gulp.August 2, 2014 – 11:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - I love this – and the idea of self-compassion rather than self-esteem. I may look up that book, as I’d agree that sometimes self-esteem/boosting self-confidence has the effect of making kids think they are better at things than they are (which is demoralizing in the end) and also unnecessarily leads to competition (many things in life are competition – but not everything).

    As for the bully on the playground – good on you for approaching it head on. I remember being at the beach once with my eldest before she had eye surgery (she was about 2 and change at the time). She was pretty cross-eyed before the surgery and one of the kids on the beach referred to her as a “freak” and she heard. I suspect she knew enough to understand it wasn’t a compliment. At the time I was angry, took her away, and didn’t approach the kid in question. I should have – because I suspect much that sounds mean from young kids can be diffused with some explanation.

    A lovely post!July 3, 2014 – 11:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love the idea of self compassion more than self esteem as well, Louise!!! Thank you so much and so sorry for the delayed reply. I’m so sorry too about that kid saying something that your beautiful daughter overheard. UGH. Kids are cool and honest – but it’s the parents who need to pay attention!!August 2, 2014 – 11:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - Kristi, this is amazing. I try to do this with my kids, and I hope I have been successful. We’ve all the target of “meanness” at one point or another and when it happens, I try to use it as a learning experience, talking about how it made each of us feel and why we should not do that to others. Life is a learning experience, no matter how old we are. Self compassion is very important.

    I want my kids to have good self esteem too, but I also never want them to think they are better than others…every person has a gift…it’s just a matter of finding it.July 6, 2014 – 8:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so very much, Michelle!!! I think it’s so important, as well and never really considered the difference. I’m glad I have considered it now…August 2, 2014 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - That’s a wonderful assessment by Yvonne that we all cannot be above average and that that’s okay! Compassion is such an important trait in a fast-paced society and I’m so glad you wrote about it so beautifully!July 7, 2014 – 4:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you Roshni, and I agree that Yvonne’s words are so important. We cannot all be above average, and should not try to be.August 2, 2014 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Joyful Girl - I love, love, love this post (and the headline!) 🙂 So applicable to everyone, not just parents. It was nice meeting you at BlogHer!July 27, 2014 – 5:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHAH to the headline and thank you!!! xo it was awesome to meet you as well.August 2, 2014 – 11:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - As a person with special needs myself and a hopefully-soon-to-be-actual-special-education-teacher, I will always do my best to make sure no children in my classes have crushing experiences. I wish Tucker could be in my class! He really does sound like a fun kid to be around!July 31, 2014 – 1:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Angel, I would LOVE for Tucker to be in your class! He’s a blast and I’ll bet you two would have tons of fun together!!August 3, 2014 – 5:50 pmReplyCancel

  • My Inner Chick - –What you said to the little bully was faaaaabulous. This is exactly what I would have said.

    I work in a classroom w/ 10 autistic children and they absolutely crack me up. Seriously.

    They have MUCH insight & teach me A LOT.

    For example, one day Tyler says, “I’m going to take Lilly out this weekend.” (Lilly is the only girl in our class)

    I say, “Will you bring her chocolates, Flowers? Girls Love that!”

    Tyler says, “No. I’m buying her a tiara.”

    Do you LOVE that or NOT?!!!! All girls want tiaras, right?!

    Anyhow, we do NOT EVER tolerate bullying. As you say, we are all connected in this crazy world & that is abundantly beautiful.

    xxAugust 2, 2014 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG I love the conversation that all girls want tiaras. Probably true and unbelievably sweet.August 2, 2014 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Callie Feyen - Kristi,
    There’s so much about this post that I love, but I think that what holds true every time I come here is that your voice is equal parts passionate, hilarious, and articulate. I know I’m coming here for a good story but I also know that I’m going to be changed in some way.
    I LOVED your words: “it’s my belief that we are all important.” Yes and amen. You showed that here in not just your care for yourself, your son, and even the bully (which is so hard for me to do!) This blog and your words are vitally important to the world! Keep on keepin’ on!August 3, 2014 – 9:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks Callie! You’re so awesome and yeah, it is hard for me to care about the bully too but then I wonder why she’s such a little bully, ya know? I mean… it’s kinda sad… xoOctober 4, 2014 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - I wish I had been taught self-compassion as a kid. Instead, I’ve had to learn as an adult while raising my own kids, and sometimes, I still feel at a loss for how to teach them to accept their own imperfections as who they are when I sometimes still can’t accept my own. Beautiful, thought provoking post Kristi.October 2, 2014 – 4:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I wish I’d been taught it as well, Meredith. It’s so hard to teach our kids that they are perfectly imperfect with all of their flaws and quirks when we’re so mean to ourselves about weight, messy houses, not doing or being enough… thanks so much for your thoughtful comment!October 4, 2014 – 1:06 pmReplyCancel

It’s been almost three years. Three years since I tried to pull the shades down on the too-bright light of my fear. Three years since those whispering-drowning-it’s-all-your-fault dreams. It’s been almost three years since I knew that something wasn’t quite right. Since I stood in my little boy’s pediatrician’s office. I remember standing there, waiting, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Mike - FRIST!! 🙂June 21, 2014 – 11:48 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Oh my gawd, Kristi….this got me sooooo choked up!! I have absolutely loved following the journey of Tucker and his mom for so long now. Going back and reading virtually all of your old posts to fully encapsulate the entire life story. One that is still just beginning in all the beautiful and wonder that Tucker is becoming and will continue to be! We are so very proud of you young man and sending so much love your way. We still have a mac n cheese buddy date to get to, our little friend! Your friends forever, Mike and Phoenix 🙂June 21, 2014 – 11:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Awww! Thank you so much Mike and Phoenix!! We appreciate the love and support and feel the same about you two! Tucker was SO happy to see PDawg’s cancer free photos and of you both being so happy. Sending lots of love and best wishes for an amazing weekend, friends. xoJune 21, 2014 – 11:57 amReplyCancel

  • Misty - how awesome!!!! now that i’ve had two kids complete three (lol) years of kindergarten, i volunteer to be your go to with all the crazy questions about what the heck’s going on in kindergarten. and after three years, i have my answer ready and waiting: i don’t know why in the hell schools are doing this! congrats to you and tucker! and what part of tn are your in-laws from?June 21, 2014 – 11:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Misty, I may need to take you up on your offer of being the go to for all kindergarten related questions. Tucker’s going to be mainstreamed with 18 1/2 support hours (plus an 1.5 of speech and OT). I’m really nervous. And hopeful. And terrified.
      Inlaws are from Elizabethton. It’s pretty close to Bristol, if you know where that is?June 21, 2014 – 12:00 pmReplyCancel

      • Misty - keep us posted about the mainstreaming. find out if kindergarteners are introduced and expected to remember “sight words” either fry or dolch. i’m seriously considering pulling patty from special ed when school resumes in august for second grade. i was told that for her to qualify for special ed under developmental delay she must be graded as “below level”. i want her report card to accurately measure her performance, not just completely write her off, i mean why even bother grading her work if she’s just going to be “below level” in everything?!June 21, 2014 – 9:20 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Misty, ok so I’ve never even heard of “sight words” so one more thing I need to learn about I suppose… and I totally get not having any value in “below level” because what does that help or mean? Nothing. Ugh. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I heard from a friend at work that it gets harder as the kids are older. We’d have considered the self-contained autism program but there are only 4 IEPs going into kindergarten and the self contained class is of much older kids. I know some of Tucker’s friends who are going to other schools next year where the program is different because the peers are. So much for it being about the program – it’s not, I know. It’s about where the other kids in the class are and having role models. Which I get, but it still makes me want to build my own school.June 21, 2014 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

          • Misty - i think about homeschooling at least once a week! btw, i’m posting about “sight words” tomorrow!June 22, 2014 – 6:36 am

      • Jenn - How did you get approved for support services before starting school? I have been told by my son’s future school that they would only start rti services (ie pull out) after 6weeks and only if he is behind. Would not get classroom modifications until 2nd grade but only with a dx of a learning disability. So, reactive not proactive. There is little chance, even if hell did freeze over, that we would get a one on one aid.

        FYI. My kiddo has speech apraxia and motor apraxia along with feeding problems.

        Also, I’m from northeast tn -yea hillbillies!June 21, 2014 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Jenn,
          Here, in Northern VA, it’s called Early Intervention (I’ve heard it referred to as Child Find as well) and they do an eval. If the child falls behind by x% (can’t remember what % it is and it likely varies from state to state), they automatically qualify for services. I know that my step-mother-in-law, in Elizabethton, has a friend who has a son who qualified, although I don’t know the details. Tucker likely has apraxia of speech as well. I think feeding problems are a big trigger though – is there somebody you can ask about the services? I mean besides whoever told you that it’s not possible? I was under the impression that each state has to offer something (even just speech or OT inhome) as part of no child left behind, but I’m not sure. Feel free to email me and I’ll get you in touch with smarter-than-I-am people about it. And I’m so sorry that they’ve given you the runaround on it. So not fair. We don’t have a medical diagnosis, but I also know docs sometimes give them when they’re not sure to ensure there are supports in place….June 22, 2014 – 12:04 amReplyCancel

        • Misty - your comment caught my eye, and it sounds like what your school is telling you is not what IDEA says. i’ve read nothing in IDEA that says you have to wait 6 weeks and modifications are only granted under very specific circumstances. unfortunately, states do have a lot of say in how IDEA is carried out. i learned at a parent training that all states have a Protection and Advocacy center to help families with IDEA, here’s the TN website: http://www.dlactn.org/ If you don’t already have an advocate, that would be the next phone call to make. If you have an inkling that things aren’t being done in your child’s best interest, an advocate will be able to tell you how the law applies in TN. good luck!June 22, 2014 – 6:45 amReplyCancel

          • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Misty, for replying to this one – I wasn’t sure (because I’m reliant upon smarter people like YOU for these things). I really appreciate your response to her. xoJuly 22, 2014 – 8:05 pm

  • Kathy Radigan - Kristi you really got me with this one!!! I can relate to every emotion you expressed so beautifully. I love the pictures of Tucker and wish him and you much luck as you enter this new adventure!!! Love you!June 21, 2014 – 11:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, Kathy, thank you. I hope kindergarten is okay for him. I’m really nervous about it. Hopefully his team will be as amazing as his preschool team. xo and big love right back to you, my lovely friend.June 21, 2014 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly L McKenzie - All I can think of right now – besides being extraordinarily happy for you and Mr. T – is that there are countless parents out there who need to read this. Who need to know that a diagnosis is just the place to start.That there is hope for boundless growth. I’ll do my best to spread it around.

    I hope, hope, hope that the kindergarten team is just as supportive and amazing Kristi.June 21, 2014 – 12:28 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks, Kelly. I hope kindergarten teachers and therapists are amazing too. I’m scared though! And big thanks for being so happy for little Tucker and our family! It’s a big deal. 🙂June 22, 2014 – 12:10 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Ah! Congrats, Tucker!! And Kristi, this almost made me cry, honestly. Beautiful.June 21, 2014 – 12:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw Michelle! Really? Thank you so much. You know that’s a huge compliment, I hope. Have a fabulous rest of the week and congratulations on your freelance project!June 22, 2014 – 12:21 amReplyCancel

  • Michele @ A Storybook Life - Congrats on Tucker’s graduation! What a story of pride and success and growth – not to be stopped here. Hooray for celebrations!June 21, 2014 – 1:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, Michele!! Here’s to celebrations. You’ve got so many of your own coming up – and I can’t WAIT to catch up!June 22, 2014 – 12:26 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Happy graduation to Tucker! And to you, Kristi. I’m celebrating with you and your family xoxoJune 21, 2014 – 2:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Kristi, OMG – How did I not know you were going to be practically in my backyard??? Lancaster is like an hour from me – maybe 90 minutes. Holy cow what a near miss!!!

    Meanwhile, this is the the best TToT list EVER and I think I cried the whole way through – what a wonderful wonderful journey. So happy for all of you! Please tell Tucker congratulations and big hugs from all of us!June 21, 2014 – 2:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - NO WAY! I should have said something earlier. We booked this trip with Tucker’s BFF back in maybe February as part of their grad present. I can’t believe you’re so close! If you feel like driving down to see Thomas (does Zilla like Thomas???) tomorrow, email me and I’ll send you my phone number! And I’ll definitely tell Tucker congratulations. He’s so excited and thank you thank you!!!June 22, 2014 – 12:37 amReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - We do love Thomas – but we have theater tickets with my family so we’re booked for the day. Next time!June 22, 2014 – 1:43 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Have fun at the theater and let me know if you’re close to DC this summer!June 22, 2014 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Katie @ Pick Any Two - Tearing up while reading this post. Congrats to both Tucker and you. So much goodness to celebrate!June 21, 2014 – 3:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I’m crying here! This is a very awesome list of awesome thankfulness. There’s almost not enough words to say it. Thinking of you and your graduate and your bounce house and your awesome family!June 21, 2014 – 4:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks Tamara! A big thankfulness for sure this week. Hard to believe it’s been two years since I took baby Tucker to preschool for the first time and cried in the parking lot for like 20 minutes! I guess we’ve both come a long way….June 22, 2014 – 9:56 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oddly enough, I remember “Big Dude’s” preschool graduation pretty vividly and it was 11 years ago! I remember feeling grateful for the amazing teachers and therapists he had – recognizing how far he had come, but also how far he had to go. And BTW, I’m still in touch with several of his therapists from the “early days” and they LOVE seeing the BIG GUY/MAN he has become.:) I was also very emotional that day of preschool graduation (probably bc I was preggo with Little Dude at the time, but still, I’m sure I would have been crying anyway). Congrats to Tucker and all of you — those smiling photos say it all! Enjoy – xoJune 21, 2014 – 4:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, Emily – I LOVE that you’re still in touch with several of BD’s therapists from the early days. I really hope to stay in touch with Tucker’s team, too. They’re such amazing people who do jobs I’d NEVER have been able to handle. And I can just picture you pg with LD and crying. Was it the slide show? For me, it was totally the slide show.June 22, 2014 – 9:58 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - What a beautiful post, and congratulations to Tucker. What a great advocate you are for him! I love the “TuckTalk” paper.June 21, 2014 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much Kristi! I love the Tuck Talk paper, too. I am so glad I have it to remember how far we’ve come. I hope you’re having a great weekend!June 22, 2014 – 8:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Val Newman - He’s adorable and you are a wonderful mother.

    ValJune 21, 2014 – 6:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks, Val! I agree he’s adorable! Wonderful mother – it doesn’t always feel that way but as long as he thinks so, I guess I’m onto something right?June 22, 2014 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - You are indeed totally blessed. Huge congrats to Tucker on this amazing accomplishment. Now we may need to hold each other’s hands for the fall and kindergarten!! 😉June 21, 2014 – 7:40 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
      We most definitely will. I’m so glad to know we can and that Emma’s and Tucker’s birthdays are so close together so we can panic at the same time (and rejoice at the same time). Hope you had a great weekend!!June 22, 2014 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie M - Such a beautiful well written piece. Thank you so much for posting this. You have given me hope at a time in my life when I need it the most. You and your gorgeous little boy are such an inspiration 🙂June 21, 2014 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much, Natalie. I hope that you’re okay!June 22, 2014 – 11:32 pmReplyCancel

      • Natalie M - Thanks Kristi, lets just say I was having a really bad day when I read your post and it really cheered me up and gave me hope. I feel, I am somewhere near the start of your journey and I was told by one of our therapists, it will be a long road ahead. We are waiting on dx. Just told our son had severe speech and communication delay 🙁 Can I just ask, we are from UK, where I think we are far behind you in terms of early intervention, what kind of intervention did they do in Tucker’s class? Just wondering if there was anything more I could push for, or look for independently.
        Thanks for being so awesome and making us Mums, smile 🙂June 26, 2014 – 3:44 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - Natalie, so, I’m honestly not sure about the UK. We entered a thing here called Child Find and Early Intervention based on the doctor finally admitting that Tucker had a severe speech delay (it was Big, if that helps)…. we never really got the dx but I know it matters for some states and countries more than others. I guess the best thing I know how to do is to make your son’s doctor give you some options, because that’s where it started with here. Getting into the programs was a pain in the butt, but once we were in, it went much more smoothly. For Tucker’s class, they didn’t even care about the doctor evaluations, but they came to our home (his future teachers) and did their own evaluation. So he got services based more on their inputs than on his doctors. Is there some type of school thing there where they need to provide care?June 27, 2014 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Yay for Tucker! Yay for milestones and celebrations! Yay for teachers who care!June 21, 2014 – 10:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - YAYYAY for teachers who care and milestones and happy happy celebrations!!June 22, 2014 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - Congratulations to Tucker on the milestone – and to you and family who have so obviously been there to support him.

    This was a beautiful post – all the fears and misplaced self-doubts of parenthood when it doesn’t go quite as initially imagined.

    I think I’ve mentioned once before we have close friends trying to diagnose/figure out the issues with their second child – now almost 2. When they are ready to … imagine life as it might be rather than how they’d thought it would be … I’m going to suggest they read your blog. Or maybe sooner if I get the chance. This post is beautifully descriptive in how you write about the dawning realization about the challenges Tucker would face – I don’t honestly know how I’d have handled it.

    I hope you have a great weekend trip and proper graduation celebration!June 22, 2014 – 12:08 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much, Louise! I do remember you mentioning your friends. I hope they get some answers (and at least early intervention if need be if not answers). Good luck on your test this week (not that you need it but luck is always helpful right?). We did ride a roller coaster about 17 times today so his celebration weekend is going well!!June 22, 2014 – 11:41 pmReplyCancel

  • cyndy - I love this post! Congrats to Tucker, he is awesome! (love his name, btw)June 22, 2014 – 12:16 amReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - Onward and upward, Tucker! You are an awesome kid with a terrific gang of superheroes leading you on. Go conquer kindergarten, buddy!June 22, 2014 – 5:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Dyanne! I hope he will totally conquer kindergarten! Time flies. Those people who said so were right, apparently.June 22, 2014 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - This is wonderful, Kristi! Definitely something to celebrate! I know how proud, thankful and blessed you feel and that is amazing!June 22, 2014 – 8:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Alexa - I don’t even really know where to begin. I am so inspired by this post. By your love and dedication, your concern, your fears coming true… and then allowing others to come in and help you through the unknown. I’m proud of both of you on his preschool graduation. And can I please go ahead and RSVP for his High School graduation, because if that’s how you did preschool, I want to be there for the magnificent celebration that is awaiting us for HS!!! 🙂 I think it’s awesome you celebrated him like that. He deserves it.June 22, 2014 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hehe, Alexa,
      Yes, you’re on the list for high school graduation! I know – it’s a little over the top for preschool graduation but the poor little guy worked SO HARD. The PAC program is super-intense and hard for them. But it works, and it worked, so he bounced and played and I think he deserves it, too. Thank you.June 22, 2014 – 11:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay from Trashy Blog - Aw, Kristi, this post made me cry! Congratulations to Tucker!!June 22, 2014 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Oh, how I love this! Those pictures of Tucker are so beautiful. I know that leaving preschool is hard and sad and scary. But, I also know that Tucker has a great support system and a mom who is beyond wonderful. He will be fine and so will you! Hugs to you my friend!June 23, 2014 – 11:21 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, Lisa! Leaving preschool IS sad and scary, but I hope kindergarten brings magic as well as better handwriting! Thanks for the hugs and right back at you!June 23, 2014 – 2:03 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - Good Lord the one week I dont get to make the rounds and YOURE IN EARLY!? WTF?????

    CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GRADUATE!!!!!! How cool is the TUCK-MAN????
    Way to go!!!!! Looks like it was an awesome party!June 23, 2014 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Zoe, I know, right? I think it’s my first early TToT ever! But I was hoping to post it the week before, so maybe it’s actually really really late. And Tuck-Man is SOOO cool and yeah, the party was amazing. It was at my friend Joanna’s house and it was awesome. The kids (and adults) had a blast!June 24, 2014 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - Tucker is beautiful. You are beautiful. This is beautiful. Tucker is so lucky to have you as his mom, his team leader, his cheerleader. Happy summer to you all.June 23, 2014 – 11:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - Kristi – this was so beautifully put. I know you (in my short knowing you time) to be hilarious and self-depracating but oh my goodness, above all else you are such a good mom. Even above your amazing writing that makes me laugh and teary (sometimes at the same time) – I know you are blessed by Tucker but he is also so lucky to have you. You put your whole heart out there and wow!June 23, 2014 – 11:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, Stephanie! You’re amazing and I’m so lucky to know you now! And thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. Huge.June 24, 2014 – 10:53 amReplyCancel

  • Lana - Congratulations to all of you! I LOVE the pictures of your son’s smiling face, especially the one on the beach. This post made me cry, because it reminds me so much of my nephew. He is about to turn 15 and has come so far. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful son and your story with all of us!June 24, 2014 – 1:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Lana! I love the beach one the most, too. I wish it were more in focus but that always seems to be the way – the happiest face photo is the blurry smudgy one… Love that it reminds you of your nephew – so glad to hear he’s come so far!! And thank you very much for your sweet comment and for reading.June 24, 2014 – 10:55 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - You are such a good mom Kristi. Really. Look at that smile on his face that just oozes from that beautiful happy heart. You give him the strength that he needs and he gives it to you. You’re a kick ass team.
    Be proud of him and you too.
    You are good people who are changing the way that some people perceive those with autism.
    Nailed it.
    Go Tucker!!!June 24, 2014 – 7:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kimberly, YOU are an awesome mom! And thank you. I’m proud of both of us and I’m proud of you and honored to be your friend. xoxo and YEAH, Go Tucker!!June 24, 2014 – 10:56 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I read this post the other day. You know what a pain it is to try commenting from the iPhone. But then when you come back you forget everything you were going to say. Anway way, one thing I remember is that I absolutely LOVE “nack followed by a sniff”. I love all the pictures too. Happy pre-school graduation to Tucker <3June 24, 2014 – 11:05 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know! I read too many of yours, and everybody’s on the phone and ugh. But thanks so much for coming back. That means a lot to me you know. He STILL does the “nack followed by a sniff” – it’s cute but um, yeah. I really am thankful you came back to comment, Kenya! Thanks to the grad congrats!!!June 24, 2014 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha - Congrats to Tucker and congrats to you, mama! 🙂June 25, 2014 – 1:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Sarah. Feels a bit silly to make such a huge deal of it, but then I remember how he was when we started, and he deserves a huge deal!!June 25, 2014 – 8:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Congratulations to Tucker!June 25, 2014 – 10:23 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - SQUEEEEE!!!!!! What a beautiful tribute to the journey you and that sweet precious boy have endured and triumphed in!!! What a celebration!!! Well earned, indeed. XOXOJune 25, 2014 – 11:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris!! <3 thanks for the big SQUEEEEEE and I agree, he earned a huge celebration!June 25, 2014 – 8:25 pmReplyCancel

  • WendysHat - Congratulations! I’ve been here before and he’s now 26yrs old. Life does move on and everything will be just fine.June 25, 2014 – 7:04 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Really? Wow. Thank you so much for the reminder and look into not-now, when now seems a little scary.June 25, 2014 – 8:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Jolene Philo - Thank you so much for sharing this post at the DifferentDream.com link share. What a tribute to the teachers and therapists who have worked with your little boy. As a former educator, I know that the hearts of the people who work with your son melted as they read this post. What a blessing your family has been to them!June 26, 2014 – 2:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thank you so much for hosting the DifferentDream share! And thank you huge, because I’m sure there have been moments when his team has wanted to choke me. But we’re all on the same team now, I think. And that is huge big.June 27, 2014 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - Such a handsome boy!! Congratulations to him and all of you!June 26, 2014 – 4:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - You are beautiful and so is your boy. Love this post!June 26, 2014 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - All of those milestones seem so much bigger when it takes so much work to get there don’t they? Love seeing his happy face after graduation. I’m sure you were smiling just as big!July 22, 2014 – 8:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I was smiling huge huge. And maybe um, you know. Crying a little bit too. Thanks Jessica and yeah, they do seem bigger when the work to get there is so hard, and intense. So worth it though.July 22, 2014 – 8:07 pmReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land post was authored by the wonderful and amazing Lizzy from The Muddle Headed Mama. Lizzy has lived and traveled all over the world and hopes to be a gypsy in her next life. She writes about her experiences as a (newly) single mom, muddle-headed moments, Italian lessons, and her lovely life views. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Loved this, reminded me of my own piece here. I also felt a sinking sadness as opposed to an outrage. Just… really? Another one? But another one will always pop up, right? Until we address the core issue. And yes, you are stunning in that bikini photo. 🙂June 18, 2014 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It reminded me of your piece as well, Deb. And I hear you on another one. We need to address the core issue, which is so hard to do when we have so much (well, me, anyway) body hate of our own.June 18, 2014 – 5:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Thank you Deb 🙂 I’m off to find your own Our Land post now. xxJune 21, 2014 – 3:19 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Terrific post, Lizzi! This part caught my attention, “If I were a teenager now, would I be one of those girls sending in their bikini bridge selfie to Instagram or to Facebook?” First off, the pressure on young ladies to keep up with their peers today is enormous. And so dang unneccessary…that’s the infuriating part. A lot of is self-perpetuating amongst themselves and magnified by the media and entertainment factor. Some of things they are doing these days (too much unbeknownst by their parents) is scary. 10 years ago many predicted an evolution back to the 50’s in morality and behavior and not sure what they were thinking. Lordy…I’m just chatting it up tonight. Btw…pregnant women are the most beautiful of all in the world. Their aura lights up and entire street block 🙂June 18, 2014 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Mike, that part got to me, too. Makes me wonder (not wonder very much, because I’d probably be guilty) whether I’d have posted photos like that, too. I agree that pregnant women are the most beautiful in all of the world. The pressure to be ultra-thin from media and peers is horrible. I’m not sure what we can do to fix it. Thanks for your insightful comment, Mike. I appreciate it.June 18, 2014 – 5:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Love Lizzy and still totally adore her sentiments on this. And that photo of her is still absolutely my favorite, too!!! 🙂June 18, 2014 – 7:27 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Loved this and so glad Lizzi let you share her post here. I think the strongest point is if we were skinny and teenagers would we fall into the bridge trap? Um, probably. Her words are so powerful I hope a teen does read it and rethink that choiceJune 18, 2014 – 9:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think we would have fallen into the bridge trap. I still look at those photos and think they look good. Sigh. Thanks so much, Kerri and I’m glad she let me share her post here, too!June 18, 2014 – 5:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Echo - This is a great article. The things that are pushed on girls now a days as beautiful, still astounds me.June 18, 2014 – 10:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Me, too, Echo. Me, too. It’s just sad. And stays with us and them and we need to find a way to fix it…June 18, 2014 – 5:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Tracie - This is beautiful. I am going to share it with my tween daughter. Because these are the kinds of lessons I want to teach her early – hopefully before the words of the world get a chance to tear her down and skew her vision of what real beauty is.June 18, 2014 – 12:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’d love to hear about your tween daughter’s thoughts on it, Tracie. It’s so hard to shape our kids to know the value of exercise and health but also that it’s not about being skinny. Sigh.June 18, 2014 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Great post! Maybe all adolescents just need to go through that questioning and questing to become comfortable with body changes over which they have no control. It might just be inevitable and we, as a society, need to demonstrate that maturity and adulthood means truly outgrowing and moving past that “body focus” stage. You have done an amazing job laying the foundation for what that could look like!June 18, 2014 – 12:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think she did an amazing job too, Elizabeth, and I wish that everybody could be more comfortable with their bodies. It’s so hard for teens to see the bigger picture at times – at least, it was for me…June 18, 2014 – 5:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Glad you had pictures. I was clueless. I am so glad I am not a teenager anymore. It was hard enough trying to go to school with perfect hair. Body image in the 80s wasn’t a thing – at least I don’t think it was. This is great information for all of us. I don’t know when I started being concerned about my waistline. I even gained 15 lbs my freshman year in college and didn’t sweat it. I really try to concentrate on being healthy versus thin but it’s hard. I need that confidence. Oh and music – yes – that makes me feel GOOD.June 18, 2014 – 1:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - I was clueless, too, Kenya and had never heard of the bikini bridge until Lizzy wrote about it. I’m glad I’m no longer a teenager as well but wish I had the waistline now that I did then (and the attitude about it).June 18, 2014 – 5:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Funny because I always had a bikini bridge, although I never really thought about it or called it that other than to think, “My hip bones are weapons.” When I was pregnant, I finally felt beautiful for the first time.June 18, 2014 – 6:54 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, when I met you, you weren’t pregnant (or um at least not showing if you are!!) and I thought you are beautiful.June 19, 2014 – 9:35 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I understand Lizzy’s sadness, but I have some anger along with that sadness. I’m angry because I have a teenage daughter and I would hate for her to feel less than in any way because of this bizarre bikini bridge phenomena. Although when I just asked her if she knew what it was, she didn’t. I hope she doesn’t google it, but if she does I’m forwarding her the link to this page.June 18, 2014 – 8:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dana – Let’s get MAD. I’m glad that your daughter doesn’t know what the bridge thing is. I hope she never knows. Or, better yet, never cares because that’s not how we should be measuring ourselves.June 19, 2014 – 9:36 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah @ LeftBrainBuddha - OMG that ad about “real women have bridges” is absolutely HORRIFYING!!! Thank you for this .. I had never heard of bridges. so creepy.June 18, 2014 – 9:49 pmReplyCancel

  • linda Atwell - Out One Ear - There is so much to comment on in this piece and body image is something all (or at least most) women struggle with. Part the part I love best is describing yourself as a gypsy. I want to be a gypsy. Of course I want to be comfortable with my body too, but my bliss is when I’m traveling or planning traveling or packing for traveling. I must be a gypsy too. Great piece.June 19, 2014 – 2:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda, I knew you’d relate to the gypsy part! Where’s your next trip? Do tell so I can live vicariously through you (although we are going to PA for a Thomas the Train day with our BFFs which should be really fun but not, you know, Costa Rica). And yeah, the body image thing is so hard. To teach health and fitness but not that worth comes from pants size is so hard when it’s hard to believe it ourselves.June 19, 2014 – 10:00 amReplyCancel

      • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - We are headed to Alaska on a cruise on the 27th of June and then to Whistler the middle of July. I feel very fortunate. BTW, I’ve been absent in the writing arena lately because of Lindsey and Nick (and traveling). Nick has another big surgery tomorrow. But OHSU doctors believe he will recover rather quickly from this one. His weight, spirits and personality are coming back in full force and we love that. But he and Lindsey haven’t even been living in the same house for the past two months. His mother is taking care of him to make sure he gets the proper nutrition and gains the necessary weight. It was touch and go for awhile. I hope we are past that now. Lindsey is missing him and wants him to return home sooner, rather than later–but it still may be several more months before that happens. I loved when I could write about the advice they give and hope I’ll be doing that again soon. Right now, I’m finding it hard to share some of the things we are going through (and to respect Nick’s privacy). I hope he (and I) will feel better about all this and be able to share publicly (at least on a generic level). 🙂June 19, 2014 – 1:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Lizzy’s piece and Joy Christi’s comment are both spot on. It is good to know there are others out there who recognize what true beauty is and can stand against the, well, nonsense that the media tries to force into the brains of our young women. Honestly, this makes me worry terribly for my daughter as she grows…but I’m saving this so as we have these talks about beauty and body image and all the things that really matter in life, I will have these great words at hand.June 19, 2014 – 4:27 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Beauty and body image are SO hard. I’d thought I’d conquered my issues as a teen but as I age, find that they’re right here, now, back, in the form of wrinkles and sighs. Such an important message for everybody, I think.June 19, 2014 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

      • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I hear you. It bothers me that I find myself comparing myself to other moms when I am in a group of them for a kid party, at church, school, whatever. I know I shouldn’t – especially since many of them are in their late 20s or early 30s and I’m in my mid-40s. It’s a whole different world. I sometimes wonder if we aren’t just so programmed to be too body-conscious and so we can’t help ourselves. Doesn’t make it better – it’s still sad.June 21, 2014 – 10:23 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Thank you so much for featuring this post, Kristi. I feel so honoured. Sorry it’s taken me so long to comment – I haven’t been on the net for the last two days. This is the most controversial post I’ve ever written. I love that it resonates so deeply with so many women, but I also know there are other readers who did not like the post. Perhaps when I was younger I would not have liked it either. I just hope that my own daughter may be able to gain something from it one day and not waste so many years of her life hating her self the way I did. Sending you lots of love. xxJune 20, 2014 – 1:21 amReplyCancel

  • Marcia @ Menopausal Mother - This is so beautifully written! I had a bikini bridge once….for about a year out of my life. Honestly though, I agree–I think my body was at its finest when I was carrying my children!June 20, 2014 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I read this first time, and it’s still a great post.
    “You are enough.” That’s it, that’s all we need to remember.June 21, 2014 – 6:59 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Ahhhh…. yes! What a beautiful piece!! I too feel sadness, overwhelming defeat about the force of such a twisted and misleading guide to beauty that constantly saturates our culture. I too, worry about my ‘chubby daughter’ who is clearly aware of this type of measurement…

    And I will continue to reinforce the truth as best I can onto her fragile and vulnerable heart. God made her beautiful- she is ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’…

    Beauty is truly measured not by weight, but by character. Period.June 25, 2014 – 10:50 amReplyCancel

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