Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

In IMing some party-on excellent friends earlier, Don suggested that I write about nothing, the way he often does. However, lacking his hilarity, beer, and ability to sit in a chair outside all day while drinking and making fun of the neighbors, I wasn’t sure about whether I could pull it off. I would like to […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Tamara - This is a fantastic story! I’m so curious as to how you wound up sleeping near a fire, and then sleeping on his arm. Did he arrange you that way because you’re awesome? Did you sleep walk to him?
    Then I realized, who cares? It’s Kevin Costner!December 20, 2013 – 5:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Tamara,
    Inside the lodge, there were these benches all around a free-standing fireplace. At 6am or whenever, I was alone in there. When I woke up, I was on his arm and there were tons of people! Eep!!!December 20, 2013 – 5:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - That is very good advice, Kristi. I met this guy with a pornstache years ago, and I saw beyond the ‘stache, and married him. Fortunately it’s long gone, but the guy is still around. He’s no Kevin Costner, but we can’t all be you.December 20, 2013 – 6:47 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - damn!

    I enjoyed reading your Post!*

    I never knew that about corn flakes, though I did know that about the fascinating world of movie extras.
    I did not have a pornstache back in the day, for one thing you need to have brown hair and shit and for the second thing, I had like a goatee thing going (think evil Spock only not a social able).

    * you write goodDecember 20, 2013 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Forever Five Blog - I am SO into Kevin. Field of Dreams is my all-time favorite movie and I can’t believe you slept with him! You should make sure that is mentioned in your eulogy. It’s a big deal. I also love that you and your mom made sure everyone could hear your conversation about how you were IN the movie. Hilarious!December 20, 2013 – 7:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - See? Told you you were totally cool. Loved the story. As for the morale? Theoretically agree, but Movember is still too fresh… 🙂December 20, 2013 – 8:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Wow! Such a great story! You should share more about your formative tears!December 20, 2013 – 9:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Funny, you just never know who you’re going to fall asleep on, do you? But, I have to say, he looks as bad now as he did then. I guess you could’ve had a few good years there in the middle circa the bomber-jacket-revival era. But I’m going with don’t look past the pornstache, myself. Although, I love a post that uses the word pornstache, regardless of its moral.December 20, 2013 – 9:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Molley@A Mother Life - Wow! I love star stories….How fun!December 20, 2013 – 9:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Dana,
    Your hubs is a man of intrigue, for sure! I mean two different colored eyes is massive cool, ya? Good job seeing past the pornstache. I am saddened by my superficialness back in The Day…
    —
    Clark,
    You’d have rocked the pornstache, but goatees are way sexier.
    —
    Lisa,
    Did you see For Love of the Game? I adore that movie. So much. Field of Dreams kicks butt, too!
    —
    Katia,
    Word of the day = were. I’m old now, and live vicariously 😉 except when it comes to mom stuff…
    —
    Sarah,
    I have, a bit…maybe I need to make that a category! Thanks for the idea!!!
    —
    Rachel,
    HA to not knowing who you’ll fall asleep on!
    Come on…he was HOT HOT in the bomber jacket days. I haven’t seen him recently because I live in a cave controlled by a 4-yo boy…
    —
    Molley,
    Str stories? Do you have some??
    —December 20, 2013 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Hilarious. I love star stories too! Those close encounters of the most incredible kind.

    As far as the Christmas tree part of your post, I love, love, love fresh Christmas trees. We actually live in the Christmas tree capital of Oregon so it was unthinkable (to me) to ever consider getting a “fake” tree. But after decorating the house this year, then procrastinating the tree portion of our decorations, I realized I no longer enjoyed hunting down the perfect tree on a local farm, getting a blister while cutting it down, hauling it home, trimming the bottom limbs so it would fit in our stand because my husband does (and is good at) many things but not Christmas tree stands. Then recut the trunk so it would drink the water, drag it into the house and make sure it had water. I hated that the needles fell off. And although I loved the fresh cut scent when it first comes in the house, I disliked the dying smell a few days later. And then there are the needles and the take down….and so much more….I broke down and bought a fake tree. And it is perfect. No little bugs came in this year and it already had 1000 lights that I didn’t have to put on. The hardest part was picking this tree but I will not have to do it again for many years. So if you get any ticks (and I doubt it), I highly recommend the fake trees that don’t look so fake anymore. Merry Christmas to you all.December 20, 2013 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - Well, its never too late! Maybe you should send him some fan mail!December 20, 2013 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Linda,
    I grew up with a fake tree that remained decorated, with lights on, in the 70’s and 80’s, with a sheet to protect it, all year. So really, our tree was up, all year, in the basement, with a sheet.
    —
    Angel,
    HAHA! That ship has sailed, although how funny would it be if he found this, and remembered, huh?December 21, 2013 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Ohhh. THAT’S who Kevin Costner is. So, yeah, I could probably fall asleep on his arm NOW and not know who he is.
    And whatever baby you could’ve had, Tucker’s better <3
    You write good and you Vid AWESOME 😀December 21, 2013 – 8:48 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - OH???? So that’s who KC is? Um, ok. He’s like epic awesome and stuff… 😉December 21, 2013 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - I’m with you with the porn stache…although it was probably just for the movie and made outta cornflakes or poptarts or sumthin.December 22, 2013 – 12:49 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Zoe.
    HAHAHA! About it being fake!December 22, 2013 – 1:02 amReplyCancel

  • Robin (Masshole Mommy) - Hahahahahaha – the mustache TOTALLY would have kept me from talking to him. They creep me out.December 22, 2013 – 5:53 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Holy crow! Porn stache or not, you got to sleep on Kevin Costner’s arm and that makes you a star in my book! I love him although I have to admit I never saw this movie. Now, I must rent it and not only check out Kevin’s stache but see if I can pick you out of a throng of jumping,whooping people! Lol! Great post!December 22, 2013 – 6:26 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - It really is such a small world after all and totally had me picturing this one, too! Seriously, love that you met svn Costner that way and truly had no idea until the actual movie. Totally classic and priceless!! 🙂December 22, 2013 – 8:14 amReplyCancel

  • christine - You sleep drooled on Kevin Costner!?!??! That is awesome. And hilarious. Gotta say, though. That porn mustache would have completely turned me off, too.
    Congrats on the tree! 🙂December 22, 2013 – 3:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - That is a way cool story, and I feel like I’ve cyberknown you for a while…why in the HELL did it take you so long to tell us this one?! Seriously, I would walk around introducing myself like this if I were you: “Hi, I’m Kristi, a semi-celeb who once drooled on Kevin Costner’s arm.”December 22, 2013 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!! You did NOT know Kevin Costner let alone SLEEP on his arm!!! NO FREAKING WAY!!!!

    If I had to pick one dude, ONE!!!! KEVIN COSTNER. No brainer. My fantasy husband/lover/husband and lover. And, lover. (Just making sure you understand.)

    I am sooooooo jealous!!! And that is such a CRAZY story!! I have NO good stories like that. Pour pour me.

    Forget the tree… forget EVERYTHING Christmas. Now I’m totally obsessing about Kevin.

    ThankyouverymuchDecember 22, 2013 – 4:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Ilene - First of all, I think it’s safe to say that he totally wanted you. I mean, letting you sleep on his arm and all? Second of all, This is probably hands down the best dating advice I have ever gotten and will take it to heart, next time I let a pornstache stand in my way of saying yes to a date with someone.December 22, 2013 – 8:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Sorry my friend, you could not have had Kevin Costner’s baby. You would have been too busy doing the Rebel Yell with Billy. Kevin would’ve been too goody two shoes for you. You would have regretted it for the rest of your life. But you just KNOW you would have gone with the bad boy.

    Thanks by the way for making me happy that I have a fake pre-lit tree. One last tick to worry about.December 23, 2013 – 8:42 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - I am DYING over this entire post. With laughter. And jealously. Back in The Bodyguard days I was all about some Kevin Costner. And you totally could have had his baby. I bet the pornstache was just for the role, too. Oh, Hollywood, why must you be this way?! ;)-AshleyDecember 23, 2013 – 2:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Well, wow. You slept on Kevin Costner’s arm? So technically you slept with him? Wow.

    But I can totally see why the mustache put you off. But wow.
    And your tree looks good too.December 23, 2013 – 5:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Robin, I’m not alone!!!
    —
    Sandy,
    He is awesome, for sure!!!
    —
    Janine,
    I know, weird, right?????
    —
    Christine,
    Thanks – we were pretty psyched about the tree but continue to look for ticks!
    —
    Shay,
    What can I say? My memory ain’t what it never was…
    —
    Chris,
    AWWWW POOR YOU! Sorry, but really. Look at the stache. Ew.
    —-
    Ilene,
    HA! Yay for me giving great dating advice!!!!
    —
    Kerri,
    Shut up! I could have had his baby. Billy’s too! I’d be an official baby mama then!!!!December 23, 2013 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Dose,
    YES! Stupid Hollywood!!!! WHY???
    —
    Yvonne,
    HAHA thanks! The mustache was icky.December 23, 2013 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Bryan Jones - Great story!

    I’ve always found Kevin Costner rather bland. I’m sure you’re hubby is much more interesting, debonair and exciting? (says me speaking on behalf of the ‘ordinary blokes’ union).December 24, 2013 – 7:25 amReplyCancel

  • Bryan Jones - Great story!

    I’ve always found Kevin Costner rather bland. I’m sure your hubby is much more interesting, debonair and exciting? (says me speaking on behalf of the ‘ordinary blokes’ union).December 24, 2013 – 7:26 amReplyCancel

  • Bryan Jones - Sorry Kristi, but I felt compelled to correct my glaring error in grammar!December 24, 2013 – 7:28 amReplyCancel

  • another jennifer - Oh my gosh, you could have totally had Kevin Costner’s baby! I would be telling this story to everyone. I hope you are. 🙂December 24, 2013 – 2:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Eli@coachdaddy - You should probably get blood tested – I read you can get pregnant by nap drooling on someone. The rhythm method is ineffective in preventing this.

    I’m pretty sure as a 12-year-old I impregnated super model Carol Alt at a Denver Nuggets game. I didn’t nap on her, but I drooled, and it was a windy day.December 25, 2013 – 9:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - I’m so stoked that you love Milk Duds and popcorn also. Kevin Costner I hear is longing for you. He keep on relating the story of the princess who feel asleep in his arms but then he had to run away and never saw her again.December 29, 2013 – 6:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Oh, what a funny story! OK, I just googled “Kevin Costner drool” and your post came up on the 2nd page of results. With any luck, Mr. Costner will find this post and be able to add his side of the story! (You know, because don’t we all google our own names and “drool”?) 🙂December 31, 2013 – 11:00 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Matthews-DeLorge - I would still be kicking myself…January 7, 2014 – 6:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - Apparently we should never judge a man by his mustache!

    What an awesome story. Loved the Rehab song too 🙂January 7, 2014 – 9:31 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - I am so sorry I didn’t read that when you originally posted. But I was on a blogging hiatus for basically the whole month of December. MEANWHILE I am so glad that I had no idea what you were talking about and that you reposted this because OMG!
    You are so right!!! Although you know you would do it again, because how could you possibly know that behind that pornstache was a hottie? I mean really, he didn’t look like a hottie then. Sorry… if It was John Cusack I probably would have taken my own life.January 9, 2014 – 1:20 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - ARE YOU EFF’ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! Do you have ANY idea what an actor-woody I have for Kevin Costner?!?!

    Google, “Favorite Kevin Costner Movies” and go to the bottom of that first page. You’ll see my post.

    Now I want some Milk Duds damnit, Kristi 🙂March 2, 2014 – 2:58 amReplyCancel

Happy Wednesday, my peeps! Today’s Our Land series has been authored by my lovely friend Lizzi (aka The Considerer at Considerings). In spite of her British aversion to using the letter “z” in words such as “realize” and “organization,” there’s no denying her talent for brilliantly weaving words together. Lizzi has an amazing outlook on life, the […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
email a friend

  • donofalltrades - If you’re suggesting that I feel bad for laughing at the shoppers of Walmart people, then you’ve obviously never been to a Walmart in the Midwestern part of the US of A.

    While I see your point to some extent, ribbing a woman when she wears shit stained sweatpants or a hairy dude who exposes part of his thong in public is part of what makes life so wonderful.December 18, 2013 – 11:22 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Don
    I don’t know if they even have Walmart in England… A hairy dude exposing part of his thong? Why did you have to go there? I need to erase that image!!December 18, 2013 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - I would also like to point out that your end of post our land utopia is devoid of any black or white people. Is that intentional? Is there some sort of message in that?December 18, 2013 – 12:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but okay - Lizzie, I get your point and agree with your idea. However it is hard in practice. I also think that at some point we have all let ourselves go, we no longer care what we look like. That is the only explanation for the dreaded “Wal-Mart” photos. I think we are allowed to think (maybe only in our head) what the hell were they thinking?

    In the case of celebrities I think they do it on purpose, so I feel no remorse when I use Miley as a punch line.

    Would I want some one to do that to me or my child or friend? No, but I also don’t let my girls go out in public with their thong showing.December 18, 2013 – 12:12 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - Very well said, Lizzi

    there are two kinds of people who feed on the suffering of others, scotts and rogers.

    a scott does it for the attention (good attention, bad attention, to a scott makes no difference), simply because it is the attention of others on the scott that is the energy, the life force.
    (there is a saying around the Doctrine ‘a scott alone in a room, isn’t’)

    But a scott almost always acts alone. they will point at something/someone and bray, ‘haw haw, look that person: (fill in the blank…looks funny, talks funny whatever).
    scotts are cruel

    the other type to feed on the suffering of others are rogers and they are interesting in the complexity and subtly of their enjoyment of the suffering of others.
    rogers *never* act alone.
    a roger always works in a context (the herd) and they are not ever a ‘direct accuser’.

    it is ‘hey, I love you but everyone else thinks you’re stupid’ not ‘I think you’re stupid’.

    And it is because they are acting in a group context, the enjoyment the roger gets when pointing to someone else who is the other, or is less than or…as most of the ‘Competition Reality Shows’ the LOSER the benefit for them is to feel, ‘hey look at that loser!! I’m not her! don’t you like me even better now?’

    where scotts are cruel, rogers are mean.

    imo… it is a condition inherent in humanity, nothing new and not going away anytime soon.December 18, 2013 – 12:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - This is very thought-provoking, and i admit to being a bit ambivalent. On the one hand, I am a bleeding heart and can’t stand to see anyone with hurt feelings. I even abhor teasing. But yet I have no problem connecting with others to giggle at one of those “trainwrecks,” and Don’s comment above even made me laugh. I think it is a very fine line, and I don’t know where that line is. It is hard for any of us, even those of us who are empathetic and sensitive, to be above reproach or point fingers at others for being critical. Sometimes, that criticism may be warranted because of overtly stupid decisions… But I do appreciate where you are coming from.December 18, 2013 – 12:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita Davis Sullivan - I used to laugh at those types of things more, but now I get a bit ill each time I see it posted by a friend- I can’t say I’m anywhere near perfect, but I have too much pain and loss to spend my time laughing at people without knowing their story and what caused them to get up that morning and leave the house inappropriately. Or even what didn’t happen that day, but has been happening their whole life that led them to not see their value enough to think they’re worth taking care of.

    I could go on.

    Thank you for your thoughts and honesty.December 18, 2013 – 1:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I receive your injection – great perspective. I wouldn’t ever hurt someone intentionally but I’ve definitely been catty behind the scenes. I think it’s natural and it happens all the time but social media has made it all “in yo face” and personal. I hate when I see someone has taken a picture of someone they don’t know to share and talk about them. I won’t “like” it or share it – because that person is “somebody”.December 18, 2013 – 2:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I agree with you Lizzie. While I completely get the desire to want to laugh at others and am no stranger to this behavior myself, I also believe that we are “civilized” human beings — we have the ability to CHOOSE whether to act on our impulses or not. Too often people don’t. The anonymous factor of the web and social media has brought out the worst in people in this regard. I think it is a beautiful sentiment to remind us all of our common dignity.December 18, 2013 – 2:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - This is just it – I’m guilty as anything of having done this – of having behaved in these ways. I probably will again. But it’s not something I like about my character, not something I’m comfortable with, and not something I enjoy seeing in others.

    People make mistakes, and yes it can appear funny when they’ve managed to get themselves to a place where they don’t take care of themselves or dress ‘appropriately’ for their size or shape. Or don’t conform to the conventions we’ve come to expect.

    But they’re still people. None of us is perfect.

    And just because we don’t allow ourselves (or our loved ones) to go out looking ridiculous, doesn’t give us the right to point and laugh at those who do.December 18, 2013 – 2:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Kristi, your intro is the sweetest thing ever, thank you so much for your words.

    Don – no it wasn’t intentional not to put any black or white (or brown) people. I guess I crapped out on a proper depiction of cultural diversity. There also aren’t any people in wheelchairs. Or elderly people. Well crap…

    Kerri – I see your point, and there’s a difference between looking at someone and mentally wondering what part of them stood in front of the mirror that morning and thought “Dang! I look good!” and taking a photo of them and splattering it across the internet for everyone else to jeer at. I’m glad you have standards for how you allow your children to go out. Unfortunately some people grow up without that same sense of propriety. The role models aren’t there.

    Clark – THANK YOU. That makes sense.

    Stephanie – I definitely don’t put myself above reproach. No way. But there’s a difference between compassionate criticism and mocking. That’s the line. If you say something which makes you look big or clever at someone else’s expense, and your friend laughs…that’s the line. I do it a lot. I don’t pretend otherwise. But it’s a part of my character I want to change, and am really not happy with.

    Anita – I think you’re right about there being Bigger Things in life which really should take precedent. And yes, I agree, without a back-story, there should be no judgement.

    Kenya – it does my heart good to know that other people recognises the ‘Somebody’ness in strangers. I’ve been catty, I just hope to change.

    Rachel – PERFECT. Thank you. So, so much.December 18, 2013 – 3:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Lizzi, I actually think that judging others hurts ourselves. In fact, I’ve noticed it physically hurts me to do it. But it’s not something we can force ourselves to stop since the moment we do that we’re judging ourselves and that’s just the same thing. Or, one I notice myself doing is judging people for judging people.

    I so agree with you that empathy and compassion are exactly what we need. And that does begin with ourselves when we mess up. We judge because we don’t feel good enough and so want to feel better than someone else. Years ago I worked for while at a school for kids who had been excluded from mainstream schools. These kids backgrounds would truly make you cry. One day we went to an exhibition where there were kids from other “special” schools. As we got back into the mini-bus a bus carrying kids with special needs went past. Our kids started yelling, calling them names. It was horrible, and it was also obvious that they did it because they thought they’d finally found some kids they could feel superior too.
    Truly the way the human race treats each other is tragic at times. And yet, it can also be so wonderful as your post and Kristi’s blog both show.December 18, 2013 – 3:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Yvonne, I think you’re right. I know that’s the place from which I’ve ever done it – to feel ‘better than’ or ‘superior to’ – you’re right on the money. And yet, somehow, it doesn’t help in the end. It just drives a wedge between my ‘self’ and the rest of humanity – all of whom are bestowed with the innate dignity of simply being human.December 18, 2013 – 4:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara (at PenPaperPad) - I’ve read SO many articles about people who were these the subject of memes that went viral and they were none to wiser until a friend sent them the dreaded text. To be honest, I just hadn’t thought about it before. I guess I’d assumed they were in on the joke- like the Overly Attached Girlfriend meme. But that seems to be the exception not the rule. It makes me think twice, and just try to ignore it. I ain’t perfect though, I do still resort to fall back cattiness at times. I’m trying.December 18, 2013 – 7:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - That sounds like such an awful thing to have happen to you! Good grief, can you imagine the mortification? Especially if you were having a bad day for a legit reason. Can’t begin to imagine it.

    Thanks for sharing that, Tamara – I had no idea that most of the memes are candid, not in on the joke ones.

    We’re all trying, right? To be better humans 🙂December 18, 2013 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - I think it’s interesting that some of the comments have taken exception to the idea of not giggling at the expense of another. That we find it so easy to decide what is right and wrong in the way of fashion, dress or behavior but have no issue defending our own bad behavior of calling attention to it. You have given me a lot to think about.December 18, 2013 – 8:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - They were just talking about this very thing on Morning Joe on MSNBC this morning, about how reality shows and red carpet commentary, etc., encourages all of us to be judgy and to mock people we don’t even know. Well stated, Lizzi.December 18, 2013 – 9:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - It’s you, Lizzi!! (Kristi knows all of the greats).
    I always wonder about the “models” in the photos that go viral. It happens so fast. With the exception of Grumpy Cat, who made her owners very rich, I try not to share a photo I see with what looks like an unwilling participant in the photo.
    I am not perfect and I have laughed at things on the internet. Many times over. And I never know when to draw the line, because I have seen the people of Walmart photos and they are choosing to go out in public like that.
    That doesn’t mean I share the photos.December 18, 2013 – 9:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Sharon @ Finding Vanilla Octopus - Lizzi, you are definitely not alone in your sentiments, and in the inner conflict that reflecting on them brings about. I can personally attest to being far from perfect, and though I like to hold myself to a standard above cattiness, I too often fall short. It’s a side of myself that I’m continually working to better. But being particularly sensitive to the witness of even fictional humiliation, I often feel some very real pain when coming across some of the photos of which you speak. Though on some level I understand where the fascination with them comes from, I struggle with the responses that I see to them all too often. Is the first reaction for so many really to unrestrainedly poke fun at an unfortunately-stained pair of shorts? Truly, I’d want to take the poor wearer aside and offer to help her find a solution that would keep her pride intact. I suppose the perceived anonymity of a random internet photo can easily preclude such feelings of empathy, but it never totally does so for me.December 18, 2013 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - I was cracking up in the beginning because of what Kristi said about you, Lizzi concerning your use of the s when we Americans use the z. I can’t believe after being at your blog it has never stood out to me thus far. 🙂

    This was such an awesome post. I often feel like I am accused of being “super spiritual,” “judgmental,” or just like you said, taking things too seriously when I acknowledge or voice some of the things that you are saying. In the past, I have come off to be condescending to people which is something that I have had to work on heavily. At the same time, I feel like what you are saying about people needing to really stand up for what is right or wrong..even when something is portrayed in the media as funny or ok when we all know that it is not, is extremely important. I’ve resulted to not really saying too much to people who don’t agree. I’d rather not be around people who will ostracize people or jeer at people for things like the clothes they wear or the horrible lifestyles they have lived because of some bad choices they have made. My heart always goes out to celebrities, especially. People think they have the life. I see different in the blurbs of information that I get about them here and there. It’s funny because I often don’t watch or entertain so much of this stuff so that I can try to be more compassionate and loving towards others and not giving into or entertaining gossip and negative outlooks on others.December 19, 2013 – 1:18 amReplyCancel

  • Ilene@TheFierceDivaGuideToLife - Lizzie, I want to hug you right now. I know this is counter intuitive for a blogger – someone who spends a lot of time on the internet – to say, but I blame a lot of this dehumanization not on the internet per se but how we interact with the internet. We forget that there are “real people” behind the screens that we are talking into and making fun of others into and ostracizing. It’s way to easy to hide behind a laptop and say mean things and pretend to be something we aren’t. I see the otherness too. I think we easily forget that we are all bonded and the same and connected in some universal way. When we recall that connection, the empathy comes much more easily.December 19, 2013 – 8:22 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Kathy – I did think when I wrote this, that it would be a bit close to the bone for some people. There are some people I also want this to be close to the bone for – I want them to think about it. I hope they read it. I also think it’s close to the bone for me (before I come across as too hyper-judgemental – I do realise I haven’t much of a leg to stand on)

    Sarah – it’s horrific. And another reason I’m so glad I haven’t got a tv, and I don’t buy celebrity magazines. I used to be hugely into celeb culture as a teen, and it was addictive. I’m glad I unhooked, because the attitudes there are so destructive, in large part.

    Tamara – hey thanks!! I don’t consider myself any kind of ‘Great’, but Kristi is, and Our Land is 🙂 It’s good to hear your input on this. I struggle too, with the idea that the person did decide to go out however they’re presented. But I still worry that unless they’re intentionally dressing for laughs, their feelings would be hurt by the mocking. And that sometimes there aren’t other options for them to present as, due to a variety of factors…

    Sharon – I think you’ve hit the nail on the head – it’s that anonymity, that protection of being on the other side of the screen, which somehow implies permission to be mean. One of the most beautiful, resounding things I’ve ever seen said about the condition of people and the internet is this – “If you’re not kind online, you’re not kind.” I get a visceral reaction of twisting and heartache when I see the awful crowds of people coming to publicly shame whichever unfortunate got snapped. I hate it.

    Brittnei – GOOD FOR YOU! There is nothing you wrote there, which I didn’t nod my head in support of. I’m so glad that you’re taking a stand, and so sorry that you’re receiving any kind of backlash or judgement just for having the compassion and care for people you don’t know, to treat them (and expect others to treat them) with respect.

    Ilene – I’ve been guilty of that myself, horrendously so. Like shaving the heads, when all we see of someone is words and the screen, it’s easy to forget that they’re real, and that the things we do can really hurt them. I’m so glad that you understand about the otherness and the sameness, and the all-togetherness of this world we live in, and the people we live amongst. Thank you 🙂December 19, 2013 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Sorry that I am late to the game. Have totally been under the weather and battling the stomach bug. But just wanted to say this was absolutely beautiful and coming from Lizzi, I expect nothing less!! 🙂December 19, 2013 – 6:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - This reminds me of a post I wrote a while ago about how we behave on line- discerning BEFORE we post anything… does it reflect our true hearts? Does it hurt someone? Is it rude and disrespectful?

    I often wonder if what I read/who I read at times, is that caddy and judgmental in real life. I honestly, stay away from those people. I am immediately turned “off” as soon as I read or hear (IRL) someone say a nasty thing or laugh at someone.

    YES- I am guilty of making fun of people!! So I am not innocent here. But I try hard to really think before I do….anything. And I always will strive to be someone who radiates compassion and love- never digs and judgement and slurs and nastiness.

    Most people I know just do that for attention. I’d rather get the attention in a more positive way. They may not know any better…but they should.

    LOVE this Lizzi!!! Love you. Your honest, raw, beautiful and broken masterpiece that you are.December 19, 2013 – 7:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Lizzi, you are so very wise. And as hard as I try–I find that I’m a contradictory individual and my internal voices fight with “me” all the time. I guess that is being human–the imperfections of living in this wild and crazy society. As far as the Walmartians, I’ve never personally seen anyone that looks like any of the people in the videos which leads me to believe that the photos have been doctored. And I no longer watch them because I’m now so skeptical. In fact, many of the videos/statements on Facebook I take with a grain of salt because I’m not sure they were meant in the way they are being promoted.

    That is also why I love the Our Land series and Kristi and all our blogging community. I feel supported and loved and I hope that others feel that in return. Happy holidays to you all.December 20, 2013 – 1:25 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Janine – so sorry you’re sick 🙁 Hope you heal really quickly. And thank you 🙂

    Chris – You’re so wonderful and so full of Goodness. Keep being a good example…you got it in the bag. And I need to watch you and learn. Cos I really hope you’d like me IRL, but I do wonder. I’m highly edited here, and sometimes less than pleasant in person. I know I have a tendency to tear people down (usually not strangers, which is worse – people I know) to make myself look big and clever. I try to be mindful but…you know I’m a letdown *shrugs*

    Linda – I *sound* wise. There’s a difference. I’m not always able to put this into practice. By any means. But I love how much you love Our Land, and I share your happiness at the levels of support and care which are exchanged here.December 20, 2013 – 2:09 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Being behind on my reading thanks to the game of Christmas catch up that I am currently playing, I just got to this outstanding post. As you know, because I got your comment, I wrote a little something along the same lines, yet not quite as eloquent. You are a wise and thoughtful one, Lizzi. Considering human nature, we are all guilty to some degree of being judgmental and sometimes even hurtful. I agree 112% that empathy, compassion and wonder all need a reboot. Have we really become that hardened? That is a sad thought. Thank you, as always, for bringing things to light for all of us! XOXODecember 20, 2013 – 6:06 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Sandy, your post was very specific to one area, but SO important, and I’m really glad you wrote it. I loved it and am really pleased that you’re hooking into the POSITIVES for your daughter – to teach her how things *should* be. Huge respect for that *hugs*December 20, 2013 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Forever Five Blog - These words are beautifully put, Lizzi. I couldn’t help but think of some of the Mommy Bloggers who were recently criticized for behaviors and/or words that they publicized and so many of us bought into the negative attention that they were given. The truth is, we can all be inappropriate, righteous, narrow-minded and ignorant. Why give attention to the actions that fall in to these categories? There is a whole person behind that short-sighted action or phrase they made public. At some point, that same person will likely say or do something that we can connect with. Why not act on that moment instead of the ones that we can criticize? Excellent post:).December 30, 2013 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

The Story of MeeBee who Reminds Us of Thankful Somedays, it’s hard to be thankful, not glad. Those days it’s easy to be grumpy and sad. On days such as this, is when Meebee comes out to remind you to play and get rid of your pout. At first when we see him, we wish […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Not lame at all – totally darn cute! I loved it. MeeBee gave me the little lift I needed just now to plow ahead and finish the pile of paperwork in front of me – do or die tonight.

    Thanks! Have a great week!December 15, 2013 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Ugly dicknose?!?!? Hilarious illustration! And fabulous poem.December 15, 2013 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
    Lame and dumb, but thanks 🙂
    Have a great week, too!December 15, 2013 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I keep forgetting to ask: how’s your hand?December 15, 2013 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Sarah,
    Wow, thanks!!! It’s mostly okay…typing w one hand sucks @ss…as does buttoning my pants, but it’s here, and will heal… so there’s that 🙂December 15, 2013 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - I love this to forever and back 😀 Ohmigosh you’re so completely amazing XD This made me smile so, so, so very much. And made me realise I’m a total dicknose! (thanksforthat!)
    *FAVOURITE*December 16, 2013 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - so, I have been such a dick wad all week… then I decided I was more of a dick head…it progressed to dick assedness and just clean out prickishness… and when the elephant started following me I just couldn’t figure it out until I looked in the mirror and saw how whiney I was being and had turned into a dick nose… elephants just aren’t as smart as we give them credit for….of course then again, neither am I. A lovely little ditty and who could argue with someone who could rhyme like Nipsy Russle on a good day?! Happy Holidays!December 16, 2013 – 6:51 amReplyCancel

  • zoe - Glad the hand is progressing BTW… and I recovered my computer about 5872 times so I think I may be able to comment now!December 16, 2013 – 6:53 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Love it so much! Meebee is exactly who I needed to see this morning! 🙂 Woke up feeling a little grumpy cat like, but now I am happy again!-AshleyDecember 16, 2013 – 8:51 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I used to write rhyming poems like that all the time…I can’t say my poetry has progressed much either, but at least my writing has, or so I hope…thanks for the smile. And I just love the words “dicknose” and “prig.” 🙂December 16, 2013 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Thanks for the reminder; I needed that. (And I don’t think your post is lame at all!)December 16, 2013 – 10:47 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Any post that makes the reader smile is not lame – I loved it! And if you drew those pictures with one hand, then you are even more talented than I thought. Oh, and I also love how you make up words in your posts. You should make a Kristi dictionary…there’s a post idea for you!December 16, 2013 – 11:28 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Not AT ALL the lamest Thankful ever, and not even lame. It looks heartfelt and it’s a good reminder. And I like your drawings. And you’re a poet. And why haven’t your written a children’s book yet?December 16, 2013 – 11:57 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Considerer –
    YAY that this is your favorite and I am so glad that it made you smile!! And you weren’t really a dicknose.
    —
    Zoe,
    You made me laugh out loud with “elephants aren’t as smart as we give them credit for!” Glad too, to hear that you’re no longer a dicknose!
    —
    Dose –
    YAYY for Meebee!
    —
    Emily,
    My poetry hasn’t exactly progressed, either…obviously! 😉 I’d say that your writing is most excellent so rest easy there!
    —
    Kristi,
    Thanks!
    —
    Dana,
    OOH a Kristi dictionary!!! Love that idea! And honestly, drawing with one hand is easier than typing because I just use the mouse…maybe I should pretend that it’s hard though. Hm.
    —
    Tamara,
    I’d love to write a children’s book. Any book, really…

    —December 16, 2013 – 12:25 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - http://www.rewritten-redo.com/2013/02/bookmaking-101-legal-way.html

    This is the link for making the book you saw on my blog… Its about three quarters down the page if you really want a good tutorial on it….Zoe 🙂December 16, 2013 – 12:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita Davis Sullivan - Anything that can make me laugh and remind me of something real and needed is a winner in my book! 🙂December 16, 2013 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - I do believe you are the only person I know who can write an awesome poem about being thankful while making me crack up about the phrase “dick nose”. All at the same time!! You are so enjoyable, Dear Kristi. And smart, too!December 16, 2013 – 1:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kari - No …not lame at all…. VERY cute! Love it!December 16, 2013 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Not lame – very creative! I am terrible at poetry and illustrations! Thanks for the reminder. We could all use a little more MeeBee!December 16, 2013 – 9:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Zoe!!!
    —
    Anita,
    You are awesome…xo and thank you!
    —
    Christine,
    HAHAHA…YAY for dicknose and thankful, eh?
    —
    Kari
    xo
    —
    Lisa,
    Meebee rules!!!December 16, 2013 – 11:46 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - Dicknose? Amazeballs 😉December 17, 2013 – 12:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Oh. My. Gawd. I am shaking with laughter at the dicknose drawing. I love that word, as you might imagine, and I was already laughing at the word before I saw the drawing. That totally made my day. And psst, I get to meet you!!! Squee! (Sorry, couldn’t help the squee there. It won’t happen again.)December 17, 2013 – 2:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - This is such a sweet poem! So many hosts for TToT post. I am looking forward to creating more bonds with the faithful bloggers who join in on it every week when it returns in 2014!December 18, 2013 – 2:41 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I need a little Meebee! Your drawing of him? her? made me smile.December 18, 2013 – 2:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - It’s not the lamest one ever because it made me smile. I don’t think it is possible for you to do anything lame!!! I’m sorry that I missed this week’s TToT. Getting back into town, just had too much to catch up on. 🙁 But one of the things you mentioned in this poem was that we sometimes forget how lucky we are. That’s one of the reasons I love travel. It reminds me (constantly) that not everyone in this world is as fortunate as those of us who live in the United States of America. I regularly say a silent prayer of thanks that I was born here and not in a 3rd world country. I’m grateful that I have running hot water in my kitchen (unlike the place I stayed in Costa Rica) or that my children have had food on the table every single night of their lives–unlike some of the kids in Mexico who beg for money on the streets. For me, travel opens eyes and hearts.

    Kristi, I’m so glad you’re my friend. Happy holidays to you and your amazing family. P.S. Lindsey and Nick answered one of your questions and it’s on my blog now.December 20, 2013 – 1:38 amReplyCancel

  • Nina - That is SO clever! I love the poem!December 20, 2013 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - This was great Kristi and this line here, “up to us to be happy or an ugly dicknose” can be so me on Monday mornings. NOT to anyone else…just inwards at myself. Interesting. Good post 🙂February 28, 2014 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

This holiday season, I’ll do a lot of things. I’ll play with my son in the freezing cold, watch The Charlie Brown Christmas show with him, and I’ll buy him something that he doesn’t need, anticipating the joy on his face when he sees that he has a present a few presents too many presents under our tree. […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Janine Huldie - You totally had me crying by the end of this and seriously I know you are the best mother ever to Tucker now and always. And your Christmas with him will be perfect, because you won’t let it be any other way. Seriously, I know this with all my heart!! 🙂December 12, 2013 – 10:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Print this out to remind yourself of the wonderful things you’ve written here. Take it with you and live in the moment, and enjoy Christmas with your family. Perfect post, Kristi.

    Oh, and please be careful around any cots you may encounter over the holidays. You just cannot type with no hands.December 12, 2013 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    Sorry to make you cry but also so glad that you get it and appreciate the assurance that Tucker’s Christmas will be great!December 12, 2013 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Aw. DANA
    I really should print it and read it often…Thank you.
    HAHA and flip-off to the cots!!! 🙂December 12, 2013 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - This is so heartfelt and lovely. I agree that you should print it out and keep it somewhere safe. It is a testament to where you are right now, and you should re-read it years down the road to remember the hopes and struggles of this moment.

    And also- are you coming to CO at all? How amazing would it be if we could meet IRL? The Denver Zoo Lights is pretty kick-ass…just sayin’.December 12, 2013 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Steph,
    I am! We are! I’ll PM you because yes, that would be amazing…And thanks, huge for the reminder to remember!December 12, 2013 – 10:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Oh Kristi, this is so beautiful. “I hope to breathe deeply and easily. Exhale anxiety and exhaustion. Inhale hope. Contentment. Peace.” LOVE.

    You’re awesome. xoxoDecember 12, 2013 – 11:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Ah yes… Although I don’t have the same issues and same family and same situations that you have- I nodded all the way through this piece. Because, it’s amazing how difficult and stressful it can be around people/family that are “outside” our worlds and don’t see/understand/respect what’s in it.

    Yes- you stand up high in your best you! You radiate love and goodness and strength. You love the ones closest to you- the ones you will go home with and spend every waking day with and know that your safety zone will be waiting your return.

    Find comfort in believing that you know best- and that your Tucker is EXACTLY who he is and where he needs to be. In bed with you…playing outside…being his glorious beautiful perfect self. No comparison. No need.December 12, 2013 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Sarah, Thank you. May it all come true, huh?
    —
    —
    Chris,
    What you said is almost to perfect to reply to, point, by point. Family is stressful, and amazing, no matter what, I guess… Yes to outside and breathing. xo for that. big.December 12, 2013 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Real Life Parenting - What a wonderful post, Kristi!! I love that you’re allowing yourself to be in the moment … to let down your defenses but to also defend what is honest and real. You are clearly the most perfect mother for Tucker.

    I loved this. Loved it.December 12, 2013 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - SO beautiful! What a beautiful infant he was!

    So much of what you worry about in family interactions I do, too. I have a very high-achieving extended family, and it’s always been SO HARD that Maggie does not develop at the same rate as her cousins.

    Ugh, I love my family so much, but for awhile there I wanted to keep my distance. Things are better now.

    I, too, hope you find peace and contentment. And that I can be a willing participant in outdoor play.December 12, 2013 – 11:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - RLP,
    Not sure about the perfect mother thing but thank you! It’s SO hard to let down our defenses!!!
    —
    ___
    Sarah,
    He was a beautiful infant, huh? Cried a bit posting that…
    I don’t blame you for wanting to keep your distance when Maggie was younger. It’s just hard!!!December 12, 2013 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I just plain love this. I would love to steal your words and write them again and again and again because I can relate to every single one of them.

    Merry Christmas to you, Robert, and Tucker (and your entire extended family too!)December 13, 2013 – 1:16 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - GOOD FOR YOU – my dear, you Have A Plan. And a damn good one at that. Keep repeating those things you’ve decided, and make them happen. Christmas is hard, but you’ve already chosen a path which includes all the magicky goodness and loveliness and wonderfulness…now you just need to walk it.

    HUGE respect to you for deciding that this year you won’t stay silent. That you’ll speak up and challenge misconceptions and unintentional cruelties. That you’ll seek to educate, compassionately and with patience and without knee-jerk reactions. And go for walks as often as you need to.

    The thing is, though, whilst you encounter so many people suggesting that Tucker needs to ‘catch up’, I’m glad you know not to get (too) hooked into that yourself, because who he is NOW is every perfect bit of Tucker-y loveliness he needs to be – and why would anyone waste time lamenting over a starchy old concept that there is any kind of ‘should be’ with kids? It baffles me because they miss out on NowHim, which sucks. He is absolutely, wonderfully himself.

    I wish you many dances in the sparkling snow with your wonderful boy, under fairy lights, while the spirit of Christmas zings around you and weaves everything together to make it wrap-around perfect.

    (Oh, and to echo Dana – please don’t break yourself more falling off the cot again…)December 13, 2013 – 2:14 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Nowhim is definitely magic!! When I was growing up with psoriasis, I used to get so frustrated by the questions and the comments that weren’t meant to be hurtful but were. I finally got to a place with it where I decided to answer the questions very factually. I know it is a very different situation, but I found that it helped me as much as it helped others. I wasn’t just swallowing the hurt. I was defending myself – albeit in an civil and educational way – and ,hopefully, educating others. Anyway, I hope your Christmas is wonderful, and joyful, and peaceful!December 13, 2013 – 6:35 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi, this is an amazing post. Beautiful. I loved these lines: “I will remember that they mean well. I’ll remember that them meaning well does not have to be the end of the conversation.
    I will not attempt to easily swallow the hurt, and I will not hold it. I will not spew that hurt as a shield.”

    If we all remembered that each moment of every day we really wouldn’t need much else. It says it all.December 13, 2013 – 6:42 amReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Sniff sniff. Beautiful. XxooDecember 13, 2013 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

  • Ilene - I absolutely love this post. Different kids here and different family situations here but so many of the same feelings. What you describe here are the shades of gray – the ability to disagree out loud while trying to remember that the people around you probably do mean well. Being outspoken yet not getting on the defensive. And knowing in your heart what your kids really need in spite of a lot of well meaning advice. I could go on and on and on but let me just say this is really stated.December 13, 2013 – 8:37 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Yes – you must print this out and carry it with you at all times over the next few weeks. Just pop it into your pocket and pull it out for a quiet consult should times get rough.
    Stunning post.December 13, 2013 – 10:07 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - This holiday season, I hope for all of that and more for you. My heart is nearly overflowing here.
    Nowhim and Nowyou are pretty magical. Where’s my damn camera?December 13, 2013 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but Okay - First I have to say that Boo’s future husband is freaking gorgeous. He has the best eyes and smile. And since this year was Boo’s first approximation of Christmas when she sees lights they continue to be perfect for one another!

    Okay got that off my chest. Can I just say how I love this post? Seriously your best ever. Now go enjoy those fairy lightsDecember 13, 2013 – 10:52 amReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - Fuck. This made me cry. But in a sweet way. You’re such an incredible mama. And one the strongest, most inspiring women I know. Good for you! For all of these goals. I hate when people spout off their ignorance. It’s so deflating and infuriating. But not this year. You got this. YOU GOT THIS.December 13, 2013 – 3:04 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - Ohhh my gosh he was a cute baby. If the family cannot learn to be supportive you can come have the holidays with me. After this year I think I’m boycotting the in-laws. They are just as bad.. if for different issues.

    Honestly.. you cannot let the ignorance of others ruin your joy in the holidays with your child. It’s not worth it.December 13, 2013 – 6:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Brilliantly written, full of raw honesty and a mother’s fierce and protective love. I hung onto every word. Your boy has got the most beautiful smile – he looks so much like you in photos I have seen of you. I can’t believe people actually think that kids that stay home with their mums don’t learn to speak. People really do say the most stupid things. As if speaking were more important that feeling emotionally secure anyway. Tell them to have a nice cup of shut the f*ck up, I say! Sending you and Tucker best wishes for a wonderful, merry Christmas. xxDecember 13, 2013 – 6:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Whenever I don’t write an FTSF post I’m a little disappointed with myself, but then I read yours and I’m usually happy I didn’t because I feel like you’ve said it all. And so much better. That happened again today. Amen to every word. For you. For me. :-)Have a wonderful holiday, print this post out and go back to it whenever you need recharging.December 13, 2013 – 7:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Shoot, I should tattoo some of this advice to my forehead for Christmas.
    And I’m hoping that all of these Christmas resolutions come true for you. Your love for your son is beautiful to read about.December 13, 2013 – 8:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Forever Five Blog - Good Lord, Kristi. I cannot believe that people say those things to you about Tucker. Actually, I can believe it. I guess I just can’t imagine how it must feel to hear it, repeatedly. Without having gone through what you have, I feel infuriated at whoever “they” are for having the nerve to say something like that about Tucker! And about you. If these are the comments that are flying at you while in close quarters, I think you deserve a free pass to do all of the things you said you would in this post or not. Santa should put an addition on your dad’s house this year, but in the meantime, I send you a big cyber hug.December 13, 2013 – 9:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennie - This is the best post I ever have read when it comes to dealing with family and special needs ever. I don’t comment but read everything you write and want to say thank you for saving me.December 13, 2013 – 9:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I remember joking about how hard it can be to go home. Some of the things that you wrote about here were in our complaints about the holiday. But, in this post, you aren’t just making fun or complaining — you have allowed space for hope while still acknowledging your fears and disappointments. It’s a tricky, beautiful balance, which leaves me in awe. I want you to print this out and read it, if things get hard in tight quarters. The you here will sustain the you there.December 13, 2013 – 9:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - And once again another thought provoking post. Thank you again. You always remind me to live in the now. So sweet that your little man said Christmas. Also I commend you for remembering to be patient around people who don’t understand. I know I could use some patience, ok, a lot.December 13, 2013 – 10:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Mytwicebakedpotato - Awesome reminder 🙂
    I usually choke my words and thoughts back and forget that “they” don’t understand. It isn’t for lack of love but lack of experience. Thanks for writing this 🙂December 14, 2013 – 12:13 amReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - I know that your son is autistic, but it amazes me how I can find some similarities in what I deal with my family and my son hasn’t been diagnosed as such. I wonder when people become extended family if there is something inside of them that says “I’ve been around and I know everything better than you so let me tell you how to be a parent and do things right.” LOL. You sound like time has really matured you. I believe it will do the same for me. I know it already has. I’m already not the way I was last year or even yesterday 🙂December 14, 2013 – 1:46 amReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - You’re so much better. I know you may not feel like it, but you are so on your a game. The way you write about Tucker and your relationships is so true, and not true like I agree (but i do) but like honest. It’s hard. I can’t imagine (I can a little) Today my mom said she was worried about Isaiah because his tick is really bad now, it comes and goes. I told her the dr said it was fine, that’s just what happens and always will probably, of course she told me I should see another dr.
    Meanwhile… tell anyone who says boys who stay home with their moms…
    Isaiah has been at home with me for 8 years and I can’t get him to stop talking.
    Tucker is perfect and beautiful and that smile of his! Man, gorgeous, contagious, love.
    You amaze me awesome mama.December 14, 2013 – 2:04 amReplyCancel

  • Tarana - He’s such a sweetie! Your decision to speak out loud about what you don’t agree with, rather than just smiling at ignorant things people say, will definitely make you feel better. Happy holidays!December 14, 2013 – 7:50 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - And you will be so good, Kristi, when you do it exactly like this. LOVE your post, my friend! Big hugs!December 14, 2013 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Wow. What a wonderful post!December 14, 2013 – 4:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Michellette Mimi Green - All the best to you and yours during this holiday season. Continue to be the best you and Tucker will be the best him. Nothing else and no one else will matter.December 14, 2013 – 4:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Your writing has an undeniable hold over me. I am crying so hard right now. This makes me want to meet you and Tucker even more IRL. You do such an amazing job of explaining how much you love him. He is going to appreciate that so much some day. So much. xoxoDecember 14, 2013 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Linda,
    AW – Merry Christmas to you, yours and wishing you happiness and peace! May Lindsey and Nick have an amazing one!!!
    —
    Considerer,
    You’re so right that he is perfectly NOWHIM and yes, I will dance with him in the lights, and the snow, and celebrate his Tuckerness…thank you for getting it.
    —
    I HATE MY COMMENT SYSTEM BUT IT WILL BE BETTER SOON, PEEPS.
    —
    Lisa,
    I think there are many similarities, when it comes to the feelings, friend. Many…
    —-
    Yvonne,
    Thank you…not spewing hurt as a shield is huge. Huge…
    —
    Courtney,
    XO
    —
    Ilene,
    I think that’s the hardest part…that they do mean well…
    —
    Kelly,
    Awesome advice, as always. Thanks, you.
    —
    Tamara,
    YES WHERE is your damn camera?????
    —-
    Kerri,
    I know! It’s like fate, these two! If you’d only stop by next time you are in waving distance!
    —
    Beth,
    THANK you. I’m trying to… hard…
    —December 15, 2013 – 12:16 amReplyCancel

  • Kim @ WampumHome - Simply Beautiful. So many of us struggle with acceptance and not just for our children but ourselves too. This sounded so much like how I felt for so many years about myself.. never quite felt comfortable in my own skin, UNTIL I learned to smile and nod, yes, just as you mentioned.. best advice I was ever given.. smile and nod. That lesson slowly grew into ‘fake it til you make it’ real. I will say nice things when appropriate, walk away quietly without tears when I am hurt and practice the art of ‘touch’ .. remember a hug, a touch of a hand or shoulder can bring the warmth of one to another. Teaching Tucker (and yourself) to be forgiving of others, kind in the face of unkind will be one of the amazing gifts you can give all year. Be well, be at peace and know you are never alone, more people smile with you than you will ever know.December 15, 2013 – 6:01 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Awww Tuck Tuck was a baldy. This was a beautiful post. You are stronger this year I am sure of it. You have all of us and Our Land – that land of empathy and wonder where we’ve been educated and understand. Just remember that there will be ignorance and not intentionally but simply from not understanding. But you’ll will be just fine. Because “back home” you’ll have support and understanding you’ve grown accustomed to come back to. Have a wonderful break and don’t stress, it’s so not worth it.December 15, 2013 – 12:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kim,
    I love the suggestion of adding touch. Thank you for that and for your beautiful comment.December 15, 2013 – 12:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
    Thanks, my friend. Yeah, Tucker was a baldy for a while. I think I’ll forever remember the feel of his tiny fuzzy head. And you’re right – I do have all of you and Our Land as well!December 15, 2013 – 12:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Meeshie,
    You’re so right – it’s not worth it! Hopefully, I’ll remember…
    —
    Lizzy,
    HA to the Tell them to have a nice cup of shut the f*ck up!! Thank you for the encouragement and support. I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas, too. xo
    —
    Katia,
    You’re too kind. Your posts always rock, my friend. Always.
    —
    Natalie,
    I should tattoo it to my forehead too! We’d look so pretty!
    —
    Lisa,
    The thing is, is they’re said with kindness. It just gets me though, as it’s just dumb to say somebody will “catch up.” What does that even mean? Thanks so much and cyber hugs coming right back at ya!
    —
    Jennie,
    XO you.
    —
    Rachel,
    Yes, to the hope! Thanks huge. For getting all of it.
    —December 15, 2013 – 12:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Bianca,
    Here’s to patience all around then! Cheers to patience!!
    —
    My TBP,
    I know that you’re right there, too. It’s a good thing to remember, lest we go crazy…
    —
    Brittnei –
    I do know that our kids don’t need to have special needs in order for our families to make us feel alienated and like we are doing everything wrong. Hang in there – you’ve got this, I promise.
    —
    Jen,
    TTTx10! You amaze me right back. So sorry that your mom is being a tool about Isaiah…and thanks for the reminder that he’s been at home with you for 8 years!!
    —
    Tarana,
    Thank you, and happy holidays to you, too!!
    —
    Joy!
    Big big hugs right back. Thanks, you…
    —
    Lisa,
    Thank you!
    —
    Michellette,
    You’re right. Nothing else should matter. Thank you…
    —
    Deb,
    I’d LOVE to meet IRL!! And thanks huge for all of your encouragement!December 15, 2013 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - How right are you to remind yourself (AND US, AND US, AND US) that how we react to our family is how we’re teaching our children to handle sometimes difficult situations. Have the best Christmas, Kristi and safe travels!December 15, 2013 – 5:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy at kissing the frog - This is so perfect. At a time when we can get caught up in so many things, remembering the simple ones that make your heart happy is the best!December 17, 2013 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Cutest. Baby. EVER! OMG, I LOVE that picture! So, is that Snowman Don Re? Where’s the Bud Light Lime? And good for you for thinking about the possibilities ahead of time. I go into these situations and am always side-swiped by negatives or platitudes and I never know how to respond. You have an arsenal ready. Go You!December 17, 2013 – 1:15 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - This is wonderful! You should frame it somewhere! It really is an inspiration to all parents, no matter what their circumstances. I hope to be a better me this holiday season as well. And I absolutely love that picture of Tucker – he is adorable!December 19, 2013 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - I can see by the smile on your son’s face how deeply he is loved, and much he loves and trusts you.

    Wonderfully said. It can be so difficult, I think, to be different ourselves and to raise children who others have difficulty understanding.

    But you offer the most beautiful gift of all: just you. May your Christmas be very merry and bright!
    I found you via a tweet from Michelle of A Dish of Daily Life.December 20, 2013 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

  • Amber Day Hicks - What a wonderful post, You my darlin’… bless your heart & your son’s… & where’s Tamara’s damn camera??? 🙂 XO. ~A~December 20, 2013 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

  • catherine gacad - beautiful kristi. now that i’m a soon-to-be mama, i want to strive to be the best me ever. it actually never truly occurred to me before. i simply had these resolutions i wanted to accomplish for the new year, but now it’s different. i want to be a good person, i want to be a role model, someone that my child can say, “i’m so proud of my mother. she is the best.”December 23, 2013 – 11:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - One of the reasons I’m so drawn to you, Kristi, is that you already are so open, so real, so honest, and SO full of love for you husband and son.

    Many of the sentiments you state here are ones I should remember once in awhile, too.January 1, 2014 – 2:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Gawd, I love all of your posts but especially the ones where you have the knock you off your socks pictures of Tucker smiling! I felt myself literally light up in that second! That is wonderful of Robert to take one for the team. Your spirituality, depth and seeing the blessing in everything continues to captivate me, Kristi! 🙂February 6, 2014 – 12:14 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yeah, Tucker smiling is pretty excellent indeed. He’s awesome. And thank you.February 6, 2014 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

There are certain toys that we don’t exactly welcome with glee and abandon this holiday season. Some fall in the category of obvious, like guns with darts that will most likely end up in my eye, messy craft crap that isn’t worth it, baby toys because Tucker’s delayed, and well, toys that he won’t, and […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Mytwicebakedpotato - Oh dear god! I hope we don’t get any fricking musical instruments!!December 12, 2013 – 12:23 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I share that frustration when people give your child a gift that is too advanced, even if it is age-appropriate. Just a little reminder for you.
    Also, my kidlets have their “guys,” but we call them their “friends.” They sleep with a mess of them like Tucker. It’s so cute.
    I’m actually having a thing right now with my MIL about a gift. She wants to renew a magazine subscription for Maggie, but she already gets another magazine subscription in a similar vein from another relative. So, I said, as nicely as I knew how, “Thanks, but no thanks.” This has caused trouble, and I cannot find a way to communicate my philosophy that just because you can afford it, it doesn’t mean she needs it. She gives my kids mountains of presents, and sometimes I just want to say enough is enough.December 12, 2013 – 2:19 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - I ask relatives not to give toy guns to my son. We respect that other parents allow it but we don’t. It would be hard to see your kid open a gift and sees a toy which you will have to end up throwing or giving away. So I just ask them politely ahead. 🙂December 12, 2013 – 3:23 amReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - Anything that is super messy or super complicated. I can be brought to my knees putting together some of the stuff that is out there! Also, I’m not looking forward to getting out my tools just to OPEN a remote control car!!! (Or, a million other toys that are packaged as if there contents were gold). Merry, merry!! Lol! 🙂December 12, 2013 – 4:10 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Love it how his animals are all named for what they are. Christopher has one “guy” named Timothy because he came with a name tag. I’ve never seen Adipose or heard of them. I haven’t jumped on the Dr. Who bandwagon but he looks kinda creepy to me. Stephanie’s title caught my eye so I’ll have to go check hers out too.December 12, 2013 – 6:50 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Anything with tiny pieces. Any crafting kit of any kind. Any gift that requires my participation in order for said toy to be used. Love this post!-AshleyDecember 12, 2013 – 8:20 amReplyCancel

  • Jean - I’m right with you on those LEGOS. We do the big kid ones now too and it has to be done with an adult. He likes to carry around the figurines that frequently break apart. I have bags of creations that have been loved to pieces. Maybe we should ask for a container to hold them all this year!December 12, 2013 – 8:29 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - I love that the animals are “guys” (so much better, I find, than the word “stuffies”). I also love that this is just a portion of the guys!

    More importantly, you raise awareness to some really serious topics here and thank you so much for doing this, because it’s so easy to overlook the particularities of children that are not yours (I’m refraining from saying “children that are not typical” because I think that every child is typical but only of themselves). Last Sunday I took 4 to a birthday party with lots of kids from his class. It was a circus themed party. When one of 4’s friends did a handstand all of us mommies clapped and cheered him on. The kid took one look at us, ran to his mom and started crying. Apparently he hates being the center of attention. What I’m saying is that it’s so hard to know these things and that reading posts like yours really helps thinking things through more deeply or at least realizing what questions need to be asked when you purchase a gift for a child with developmental delays.December 12, 2013 – 9:42 amReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - Wait, are you one of those “Omg, my child can’t have a toy gun because it’s a gun!” people?

    I’m always leery about taking a picture of G$ while he’s asleep as well. It’s very risky. He sleeps with his magazines. I took a shot of him last night with his Forbes. Lol.December 12, 2013 – 9:50 amReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Legos. The gift that multiplies exponentially and finds its way onto the floor, right in your path, ensuring you step on it, invoking all the gods of pain. I feel you there.December 12, 2013 – 10:50 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I have a similar picture of my daughter with all her stuffed animals. It’s funny; she had Bear and Other Bear too – along with Baby Doll and Pinky. She could still tell you all of their names. How fun to see so many friends in one place – going to visit some others too!December 12, 2013 – 11:16 amReplyCancel

  • Real Life Parenting - YES!!!! At one point I threatened all of our family members that if they bought One More Godforsaken Stuffed Animal for the Girl that I was going make them take it back to the store and explain to a crying little girl why they hated her mom so much. She turns 13 next week … so she no longer plays with them, however she still has about 50 of them … she’s a Sentimental Keeper of All the Things, so even now, she can’t get rid of them. GAAAHHH!December 12, 2013 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Rebeccafaith - This is hilarious. I love the picture of him with his plethora of stuffed friends. All of these gifts are valid “do nots.” I hope he gets everything you want for Christmas! lolDecember 12, 2013 – 11:54 amReplyCancel

  • The Next Step - hahaha, so with you on all of those! we have not yet “graduated” to legos from MegaBloks, but I did just lose it the other day and tossed all three GIANT bags of MegaBloks out the door. Not a tear was shed by my kids, so the bags just might winter outside.

    I’ve about had it with all the stuffed animals too. I do recall never being able to get enough when I was little. I just can’t take any more!December 12, 2013 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I am with you on the Legos. They just make me mad. I haven’t heard of the other two and I think I’m glad that I haven’t. I love the picture of Tucker in bed with all his friends. So cute!December 12, 2013 – 1:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - You are SO right about the legos!!! I could add my own personal NO list here, but I will instead send it to Santa. LOLDecember 12, 2013 – 2:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama C. - So, is this what I have to look forward to with Legos, Kristi? It’s bad enough as it is with little people EVERYWHERE. I’m telling you I nearly lose a toe everyday when I step on one — sometimes two — before I even have my morning coffee. DS is just 27 months, so we only have the Mega Blocks now, and even those are like crab grass growing around the house. And about risking a wake-up. I appreciate you taking one for the team; that photo was totally worth it for this post! (I hope you snuck in a kiss, too. Nighttime kissies while they are asleep are absolutely THE BEST. LOL (Sorry, I posted this on FB when I initially planned to comment here. My lack of coffee is to blame. :-/December 12, 2013 – 2:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Oh, I remember those days – particularly the soft toy overload. What am I talking about? We still have soft toy overload, even though they are teenagers!
    And I smiled at Tucker sleeping with airplanes – my elder daughter once wanted to take one of Thomas Tank’s friends. I told her he was too hard, and we put him on her little table. Now she’d take the cat (real cat) if she could. So don’t assume he’ll grow out of it! 🙂

    I’ve never seen Adipose before but glad to hear he isn’t toxic!December 12, 2013 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - OMG, my heart is melting over the “guys!” I love it! I know for a fact that at least 250 more Legos are making their way into our home this holiday. Good Gawd. And that white foam stuff- that sucks. A lot. Here’s hoping for a bunch of awesome, developmentally appropriate, not-noisy, not-messy, non-Guys/legos. Which leaves?… cookies?December 12, 2013 – 4:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ undiagnosed but okay - Omg my MIL is the worse offender. I combat them by sending a Boo needs Xyz email every NovDecember 12, 2013 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - We have so many legos around the house it drives me crazy! and the guys! Oh the guys!!! My children’s closets vomit stuffed animals.
    Just sayin’ I hear ya!December 12, 2013 – 5:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - omg…the “guys”…yes. I never thought boys would be so into stuffed animals! We have thousands, and I wish I were exaggerating!

    thankfully they were only into legos for about a year so we have less legos than stuffed animals. Stuffed animals hurt way less to step on in the middle of the night. You don’t cuss or anything.December 12, 2013 – 6:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m with you on the stuffed animals. My girls have so many of them. There’s also a new Build A Bear store that opened close by recently. Two of them got birthday certificates for there and were thrilled. I just can’t take anymore stuffed animals!December 12, 2013 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I am laughing because I got a stuffed Adipose in the mail today for winning a ton of Doctor Who goodies in a photo contest. (none of this is surprising, right?) Anyway it can’t explode any good but it does make noises when you press its belly!
    Not so bad.
    And really any small parts toys anymore. Every princess toy Scarlet gets has a dozen choking-hazard accessories attached! Luckily Des doesn’t put non-food in his mouth or I’d surely lose my mind.December 12, 2013 – 8:56 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - Why can’t family just give money? Money is good. Money is nice. Money buys appropriate stuff. Money.December 12, 2013 – 8:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - Yes, no more guys for this house either…. *weakly* PLEASE? We’re drowning in stuffed animals!December 12, 2013 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Don,
    Because you are a whiny bitch, you get the first response in this world’s worst comment system.
    While I don’t like guns, I still let Tucker have water guns, but no, it’s more that I value my eyeballs and the kid has no concept of not aiming at people. LOVE that G$ sleeps w magazines!! Tucker sleeps w books and sharp toys too. I like to think the guys offer some protection.December 13, 2013 – 7:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - We are also the proud owners of way too many “guys” here. Kidzilla just loves them – falls in love with them and that’s the end of that. We are going to have to get better at resisting those furry little faces…December 14, 2013 – 4:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Oh Legos…I love when you are missing that one little piece that you need. This is why when we had them, the kids could attempt the project and after that they all went in the big Lego bin for them to create their own creations. No need for meltdowns for lost pieces which of course happens every single time! Or when you step on them! I’m glad our lego days are over!December 15, 2013 – 9:57 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - Legos, legos everywhere! I just did my own Lego Post and I totally get it but my son plays with them ALL THE TIME. It’s really the only thing on his list, those sets.
    I don’t even bother to tell people not to get my kids something for Christmas. I have family members (hubby’s side, of course) who will do it anyway. If I don’t want them here, they just quietly go away.December 16, 2013 – 7:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Lego’s rock and can be so much fun to build things especially with the cool stuff they have these days. And then you step on one in your bare feet! That’s cool how you think things out ahead of time with gifts for Tucker. When I had the two little boys I quickly caught on to putting a screeching halt to purchasing gifts that were never going to be used. Drove me crazy! Oh, I slept with magazines in bed too, Kristi. It’s just that I was in high school 🙂February 14, 2014 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

I have a relatively new friend that I’d like to share with you via today’s Our Land contribution. Erin, from Musings by Mama is warm, compassionate, writes magical words of beauty, inspiration, and love, and is one of those mamas you know would have you laughing after dinner, while relaxing on the porch with her. Plus, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Tamara - I am so honored to be the first to comment here (maybe? It could be happening while I slowly type this..) because this was such a nice story and I’m a bit weepy over the spider with the top hat!
    That shows love and caring.
    Sending our children to school…letting go…man it’s not for the faint of heart. And I realize your situation is unique. Happy for you that it’s going so well.December 11, 2013 – 12:37 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I LOVE a good teacher story. My heart swelled up at the kids “spotting” him on the staircase. That’s wonderful that he’s looked out for from everybody.December 11, 2013 – 7:33 amReplyCancel

  • Shay - Oh my gosh, this post brought tears to my eyes this morning! I think any mother can understand how much that spider meant to you. I tear up EVERY SINGLE TIME my kids’ preschool teachers sends home Christmas ornaments that they’ve made as gifts for us. I waited a long time for my kids, and my gosh, not a day goes by that I don’t thank God that they’re here. So the Christmas ornaments are really special because there were years that I never knew if I’d have kids to celebrate Christmas with. Anyway, Christmas is coming up and I’ve warned their teachers that I will cry when I get the ornaments–but it’ll be a good cry. So I totally get this, and I’m so glad things are going so well for you and your son!!December 11, 2013 – 7:49 amReplyCancel

  • Shay - *send* home

    I can’t stand grammatical errors! I’m not the a-hole who points them out when other people make them, but I’ve got to correct them when I make them myself. 🙂December 11, 2013 – 7:50 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - As a former teacher of kids with and without special needs, I can honestly say this story just totally put tears in my eyes, because now as a mom and not just a teacher, I can truly relate on both levels. My girls are not special needs, but still I was nervous about sending them to pre-school for the first time and worried how they would fit in and socialize with other children. So, on tha level I can so relate and will say my heart soars when I see my girls playing with other kids their age and also being included. As for your son’s teacher, what a wonderful, kind hearted thing she did and shows me that their are still some pretty awesome teachers out there for sure. Thanks so much fro sharing here with us today 🙂December 11, 2013 – 8:02 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri @ Undiagnosed but Okay - I remember having most of these same feelings. The wonder if Boo would be okay out of my sight or even okay in a ‘typical’ classroom. But you are right, it ended up being the best thing for her!December 11, 2013 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - As I am old now and have to wear glasses, I did not appreciate that your reaction to that kind gesture by Evan’s teacher caused a salty liquid discharge to suddenly appear on my eyeballs! I had to remove my glasses to get to it, so thanks for that.

    I never for one second worried about sending my oldest to school because she’s always been able to make friends easily and could give two shits if somebody doesn’t want to be her friend. My 4 year old, on the other hand, wears his little heart on his sleeve and is crushed when another person doesn’t want to play with him. Plus, he’s small for his age and has a couple of other very minor health issues like asthma, so I worry about how the other kids are making him feel sometimes. Every now and then he’ll mention how a kid didn’t want to play with him or lament that another boy is taller and faster than him, etc. It’s stupid shit, but still, we all want our kids to be safe and happy while they’re in school. I’m glad you’ve had a positive experience with your boy so far and I hope it continues. Schools have come a long way with dealing with special needs kids, but there’s still plenty of work to be done. I remember they decided my brother was a candidate for special education (he rode the short bus) when I think he was just a juvenile delinquent with maybe some ADD. Anyway, those kids basically stayed in the library all day doing nothing and I’m sure the couple of years he spent in those “classes” set him back a bit. It seems like they make more effort to keep all the kids together as best they can, and that seems like a better option to me, for multiple reasons.December 11, 2013 – 9:29 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Lovely post! I used to teach special needs preschoolers before I had my own children. Since I wasn’t a mother at the time, I didn’t understand their sense of “overprotectiveness.” Now, I most definitely do. What that teacher did for Evan and for you is awesome and I’m so glad it is turning out to be a good experience for both of you!December 11, 2013 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - The look of joy on his face when you mention school … What could be more perfect? That must just warm Erin’s heart every single time.
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful and well written piece.December 11, 2013 – 10:24 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Erin, I read the blog post you linked to before I read this – the one about going back to teaching. Then I read this, and I am so glad to hear that Evan has a teacher like you. Not his mother, but a teacher with the same passion for her job and love for her students. Thank you for sharing your story, and may Evan continue to have fabulous teachers!December 11, 2013 – 11:00 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Beautiful…we still struggle with this and our son is 16! He recently told us that sometimes he feels like we don’t believe in him because we are always so quick to jump in and help him, which is what we’ve been doing his whole life. It was eye-opening. Sometimes we need to have that trust, both with other adults who interact with our kids, but with our kids themselves too.December 11, 2013 – 11:50 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - This is simply beautiful in every way. I totally cried reading it. The story about the spider made me sob into my hands.-AshleyDecember 11, 2013 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - This is really, really gorgeously written, Erin, and well done you for sharing so eloquently and in such an accessible way, what it is that you’ve struggled with. I’m thrilled to pieces for you that the anxieties you had were tackled head-on by the teachers, and they did *such* a good job for Evan. They absolutely ROCK.

    Have you shown them this? And the responses – and how SUPER-PLEASED we all are to know that there are teachers out there who innately ‘get’ how important this is?December 11, 2013 – 12:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - So glad that you’ve found such a good place! my children’s daycare teachers are amazing! They do so much…December 11, 2013 – 5:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - Wow, that is awesome! You sure lucked out with such a good school! It is especially sweet that the teacher made sure Evan had a treat of his own, whereas some teachers would just think, “Oh well, life isn’t fair.”December 11, 2013 – 7:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Erin - Thank you so much everyone. I apologize for causing tears- I am glad they were happy ones. I truly hope every worried mama gets to have an experience like I have had these past few months- at least once in their child’s school career. Good people exist. We just hear about the bad ones more often unfortunately.December 11, 2013 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Oh my goodness, this is so breathtakingly beautiful that I’m in tears. I am so happy for you that you have had such an inspiring, uplifting experience and that Evan is in an environment where he is loved. ALL parents should have this. Thank you so much for sharing your story!December 11, 2013 – 11:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Wow, this is such a well-written piece. I felt taken on a ride with you through your fears and doubts to your successes and triumphs! At the end, I was cheering and crying for everyone, for you, your son and his caring teacher (and the spider). Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt and inspiring story!December 13, 2013 – 10:01 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - This is a wonderful post, because you’re right. It is harder for us special needs mama. It is still hard for me to leave him with a sitter even though he is more responsible than his father.
    It’s not that I worry when everything is OK, it’s those what if moments. You captured it beautifully, I feel a little jealous of your strong will.
    You are a great mama.December 14, 2013 – 1:41 amReplyCancel

  • Sandy Ramsey - I am a little behind on my reading but am so glad I found this one in my feed this morning! What a wonderful story….for everyone! Good for Evan and good for you. Let me also say that you are a wonderful, wonderful writer! Thanks for sharing this!December 16, 2013 – 6:19 amReplyCancel

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