Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

It wasn’t until I was In Public that I realized my kid wasn’t typical. It wasn’t until I saw him with other children that I realized he was different. As some of you may know, I fully planned on putting Tucker in daycare once he was four months old. It’s what the cool moms that […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Janine Huldie - Kristi, yet again your ending to our sentence just amazes me. I know you keep trying to tell me your posts aren’t good at all, but seriously that couldn’t be further from the truth. And once again I leave feeling like I wish I could just reach out and hug you. Wonderful post and seriously pulled at my motherly heartstrings!October 10, 2013 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I won’t be emailing you. I wish we didn’t have that impulse to compare. I often wonder where it comes from, because it doesn’t do anyone any good. I think we think it will tell us something, even though, like you said, we just never know. I’m sorry that people have been so cruel. It breaks my heart, Kristi.October 10, 2013 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - It hurts when my children seem weird compared to everyone else. When I took my students on field trips and people stared because they looked so raggedy compared to their doted on children…it hurts. I wish Public wouldn’t be so painful. I wish that very much for your Tucker.October 10, 2013 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - You know, I think in pictures and thanks to some of your ‘in public’ things I will now have twitchy icky nightmares tonight. Just… ugh. I am never going to hang out where you seem to be finding the booger eating ball scratchers. Dear gods.October 10, 2013 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

  • K - I’m sorry, Kristi. I’m sorry that you have to deal with insensitive people in public. I totally know what you mean when you say that sometimes you wish you didn’t have to go out in public and see Tucker’s differences…I get that, because I feel the same way sometimes…sometimes I wish I could stay in this little corner of the blogosphere where differences are celebrated and special needs are normal…Sometimes it hurts to be out in the “real world,” where people aren’t always empathetic and understanding, where there are stares and questions and whispers. I want to stay in Our Land! At the same time, I also understand what you mean about connection.

    There are so many layers to this post…something about your writing makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time…thank you for sharing your thoughts, Kristi. I always look forward to hearing your take on the world! And you’re right — Tucker, with all of his beautiful imperfections, is perfect just the way he is. xoOctober 10, 2013 – 10:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - Let me just say this … “Tucker’s a lucky kid to have a mom like you.” The ballstink is almost as bad as an old school cafeteria line worker. First, she’d put her forearms under her boobs and raise them up … like they’d been weighing her down. Then, she’d reach inside her uniform and produce a Kleenex out of her bra. After blowing her nose, she’d wad the Kleenex back up and stuff it back inside her top. Without delay, she’d then reach down, grab the huge steel serving spoon, and go back to serving food. There were days you really didn’t want to eat there … like when she put sandwiches together. lol Good post!October 10, 2013 – 11:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Misty @ Meet the Cottons - Sadly we live in a world where compare/contrast are the things doctors and schools seem to do best. I think I must have gotten really good at blocking out people when we’re in public, or I’ve been really lucky, not to have anyone share their ignorant thoughts with me. The good thing, the thing I wish other people could understand, is that we love our kiddos just exactly as they are. And I believe we’re more fortunate than NT families because we can see the wonder and amazement of our kids rather than the ruler kids are measured by. I think that might be clear as mud, but it’s after midnight and Patty has her very first friend here for a sleepover. Said friend fell asleep at 7:30 and was wide awake at 11:30. I think Friday is going to be a very long day around our house!October 11, 2013 – 1:43 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - How very INCREDIBLY dare they!? As a member of the ‘public’ who has ‘met’ Tucker, albeit over videolink, my impression was simply of an interested, communicative, engaged boy with a playful spirit and a GORGEOUS smile. Your posts about him serve only to reinforce that impression.

    I try very hard not to notice, though, when I see appalling behaviour in public – the kind which should really be kept for oh-please-please-do-that-in-private. Way icky.October 11, 2013 – 2:21 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ icansaymama - BALLSTINK!! Sorry, that completely cracked me up!! LOL!

    As for the rest of your post, very often public just sucks. And hurts. And is annoying and a painful reminder. Rarely is it graceful or consoling, but it happens now and then. Sorry for all you had to deal with in public, from one SN mom to another.

    Sending you HUGE hugs, dear friend!! xoxoOctober 11, 2013 – 4:42 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - As usual, your writing made me smile, cry, and laugh. How do you do that? The world would miss out if you raised Tucker in a cave, so I’m so glad you don’t. And this post proves what I’ve known all along: some people in this world are complete dumbasses (ball stink man), and some are awesome. Although we all have both in us, I suppose; it’s just a matter of balance.October 11, 2013 – 6:52 amReplyCancel

  • karen - OMG….I snorted so loud at the ball stink…OMG OMG OMG…I can’t breathe. That is just too funny.

    I agree some people can be wonderfully empathic and caring and others are just rude idiots.

    You are an amazing mom and if we were closer, I would love to have a playdate with Tucker and Anthony…October 11, 2013 – 7:55 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica Smock - This was just wonderful. Once again, you convey so many complex emotions — including deep and profound love — in a relatable, humorous way. Tucker sounds like a special boy, and he’s a lucky one too, to have a mom who’s as loving, funny, and thoughtful!October 11, 2013 – 9:39 amReplyCancel

  • Joelle Wisler - Well, that’s it. I’m just going to carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere because you know that ballstink guy was touching everything after his “adjustment.” Most of all, I wish people were nicer. That’s about it.October 11, 2013 – 10:02 amReplyCancel

  • Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe - OK, so if we’re “comparing” … I had a peeing in New Orleans post too. How random is that?!? Strangely, I kinda miss all the hidden messages written around the City to/from Lestat, Louis, etc. Your comment about the guy in the grocery store gave me a flashback to one morning walking to my office from the parking lot. A guy ahead of me, with no hesitation, stuck his finger over one nostril, then blew really hard to shoot out a stream of snot that made my morning coffee try to rise back up and escape. Sooooooo gross!October 11, 2013 – 10:08 amReplyCancel

  • clark - your Post are not only fun (and enjoyable) to read…the fricken things are totally ‘quotable’! damn! I’d love to be able to write like that… *however*…

    my favorite Post line, (I fear not unexpectedly) is,

    “…And said “WHONK!” Smart kid, I guess.”

    I am ‘elling outloud’ here at my office… but being a clark, there is no expectation that I will explain the reason for the laughter… and that’s kinda the other thing I got from your Post, i.e. the price of membership in the common reality that (most) of us live out our lives as members. Not to say that we don’t have our personal realities/worldviews, but the fact of the matter is that we are not immune to the bad as well as the good of the everyday…*public* world.October 11, 2013 – 10:21 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Well, I for one think this a great post- very honest, very insightful. And just as I started getting tears in my eyes, you made me laugh. So, I think that means- well done. And sorry I have been MIA from the blog world this week- I have read exactly zero posts (and written zero) until today. Forgive me. xoxoOctober 11, 2013 – 11:11 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - As always, your spin on FTSF is gripping. Amazing. Like you! Gripping and amazing. Wait, is that a compliment? It is to me.
    I always love when I catch someone farting in public. Often we lock eyes and giggle together. Sometimes there is a decidedly lack of eye contact (on their end) and I have to run away to crack up until I cry.

    Did I mention I’m not always mature?October 11, 2013 – 11:14 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden Spoons - I am the worst for comparing myself to other people. I constantly think “She’s prettier. She’s Skinnier. She’s got it all together and I’m barely hanging on. Her blog is better. She’s so much funnier or more insightful.” I do it all the time without even realizing I do it. I try really hard, though, not to do it to other people. It is hard to overcome that natural instinct. (It is natural, isn’t it?? Or maybe I’m just weird.)

    And ball stink guy?? EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!October 11, 2013 – 11:22 amReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Ew. In public? Yuck.
    And Public can be the worst. People can be cruel and thoughtless. Thank God they can also be kind and empathetic, or I don’t know how we’d make it out alive.October 11, 2013 – 1:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - I’m supposed to be getting an oil change but had to read…one…more…post and now I’m compelled to comment! Beautiful post. You never fail to weave a perfect story with just enough heartfelt, humor, and thoughtfulness to make it perfect. I sooo love them all. You’re a treasure.

    Comparing….UGH. It’s the devil, yes? I’m terrible about it (when it comes to myself). Sorry you’ve had to put up with idiots. All kids should be as lucky as Tucker to have a mom like you. 🙂

    ballstink?? LOLOLOLOLOL!!!October 11, 2013 – 2:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Amy - Funny is Family - Everyones journey is different, and comparisons often make us feel smug or shitty. Awareness helps, so thank you for the reminder!October 11, 2013 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I love how this post literally took us all over the place — to playdates, malls, grocery stores — as well as to all the different places in your brain, showing us how your thoughts on this relate to Tucker and how they also don’t. I am NEVER bored reading your posts — ever! Just thought I should tell you that. And you’re sooo right about public and comparisons and connections — all those things can make having a child on the spectrum incredibly difficult and painful. I have also had both adults and children say some very cruel and idiotic things to or about my son, but it’s situations like that which can make you step back and also see the wonderful side — that our imperfect perfect children are paving their own way and showing us that we don’t need the approval of the “public” — we just need their empathy, which brings us full circle to Our Land, doesn’t it?October 11, 2013 – 4:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Oh man the boob honking…
    So been there.
    You are brilliant my friend. This is a perfect reminder about how beautifully imperfect we all are…and really, who gives a f*ck if we smell our fingers when adjusting our thongs…wait…no..I mean…forget it.
    I have never talked about it (blogged about it) online, but my son needs speech therapy. I felt like a giant failure at life when his kindergarten speech pathology test revealed that. It became a “How did you not know”…then I compared him to every child…every interaction he is involved in.
    I still do that. I shouldn’t. Because who really cares what the public thinks. My kid is awesome just like your boobie pinching kid.
    Totally a boy thing.
    Well done friend. Love.October 11, 2013 – 6:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Lovely, Kristi. I love how you write about the tension between needing community, but also wanting to raise our kids away from the glare and stare of others.
    And I once had a student (a sophomore!) eat a booger in class. SO GROSS!October 11, 2013 – 6:49 pmReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - I don’t do it so much with my daughter for some reason, but I have a horrible way of STILL comparing my 13 year old to other kids. Why? WHY?? He’s perfectly imperfect exactly as we all are. I guess you’re right that it’s human nature, but I feel like be so much happier and less anxious if I never did it.

    I’m sorry you’ve had people say some incredibly insensitive and idiotic things. People can be so stupid and self involved. I’m also glad that you have felt goodness of people who are caring and supportive. I hope you come across many more of those people, always. That’s what we all want and need. –LisaOctober 11, 2013 – 7:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - What everyone above me said. Yes, you’re an incredible mama. Yes, you’re an original incredible writer. Just as I was formulating my comment on how philosophical and profound and heartfelt the discussion was, you hit me with the ball stink and the boob whonk. And that is precisely life. All of the above, everything you’ve described. I’d love to meet you some day.October 11, 2013 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - I could just read your posts all day and all night- cause that my friend is how much I LOVE YOU AND love LOVE how you write. My heart breaks for those moments you have, and yet at the same time celebrates the victory you have within your beautiful mother heart. I love how you captured so eloquently once again, the dichotomy and the connection between too vast poles in parenting- and in life. All so true!!!
    On my 30th birthday, I went for a run. In the MIDDLE OF THE DAY on my street, a man pulled his truck over and stood on the side walk ahead of me a few blocks… I knew it, I’m from Chicago- city girl instinct knew it.
    He pulled his pants down and starting getting off while watching me run right toward him, passing him, and on I went. Apparently, that shit is everywhere- not just Chicago. People are both fascinating and disgusting all at once.October 12, 2013 – 12:50 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I agree with Ruchira Khanna–you’ve captured the good, the bad, and the ugly. You handle everything with so much grace. And you’re so observant. 🙂 Maybe it’s a good thing I’m totally on a mission when I’m in the grocery store. It’s saved me from seeing disgusting men pick their noses or adjust their balls in public. (Well, I have seen the ball adjustment thing over their clothes and on the baseball field. Happy Friday, Kristi. 🙂October 12, 2013 – 12:58 amReplyCancel

  • MJM - You should be thankful that he is not like the other kids, that he is different, because honestly the kids (or more accurately the monsters) out there in the real world are scary. Of course this is not true for all, but a good percentage for sure.October 12, 2013 – 1:15 amReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Wow. So true. My second daughter has cerebral palsy. I knew without seeing her in public only because I had the chicken pox at six weeks pregnant and was diagnosed with CMV at 36 weeks. Talk about double whammy. When she wasn’t rolling over at four months old, I knew. But, then there’s that “other” realization you talk about here…seeing just how different your child is. Heartbreaking. Comparing is natural. So is judging, unfortunately. Where did you get the sentence prompt from? Would love to join! (Visiting from Love That Max LinkUp)October 12, 2013 – 10:54 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - This is why I read your blog. Thanks!October 12, 2013 – 12:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I definitely see stinky balls coming. Roller-coaster of emotions with this one girl!October 12, 2013 – 1:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Now I’m laughing hard because of my missing word typo. DEFINITELY DID NOT SEE STINKY BALL COMING. Dangit!October 12, 2013 – 1:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - BALLS WITH AN S – I’m gonna stop typing nowOctober 12, 2013 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - All,
    Thank you so much for all of the amazing comments. I apologize for not having “nested” comments (they’re saying January 2014 so fingers crossed) so that I can “nest” an individual reply to each above.
    You guys are THE BEST. I always worry about posting things like this as I don’t want to come across as whiney but you people are always so supportive and awesome. Thanks for being so fabulous.
    —
    Kenya,
    I’m laughing out loud. With you, not at you though, m’Kay?
    —
    Chris Carter – REALLY? you’re way braver than I am. I’d have turned around, run the other way and hyperventilated. Or something equally uncool.October 12, 2013 – 4:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - Connection is so important! Perfection is something that none of us will ever be able to attain yet we strive to reach it all the time. What is that about?
    Something I have a hard time letting go of.
    Your son is amazing and has an amazing mother to boot … boob pinching and all!!

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comOctober 12, 2013 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - It’s still hard to go out in public with my son. I tend to forget. To me his behaviors are normal. Then he goes out amongst other children his age and it is oh so obvious that he is very different. Anything that requires social interactions with other children is absolutely exhausting. Someday I’ll write about it.October 12, 2013 – 11:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - Let’s just say I loved the whole piece. Just perfect. But “ball stink?” Hysterical. What a pleasure to read this. I laughed and cried with you. I was right there with you. Thanks.October 13, 2013 – 1:46 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - Oh do I totally get this post. It is exactly like I feel/felt. I remember having this conversation with my closest mom friend. How could I know what was “typical” if I had no one to compare him with. Now I wish I could undue so much comparing, oh he’s not reading yet? Why is he so loud? Why is he wearing headphones? Really people. Keep it to yourself. AND gross, I did not need to know those other things!October 13, 2013 – 8:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - I never pick my nose in public…only in the car. In all seriousness – I love this post. So true. People same the most ridiculous shit all in the name of taking an interest.October 13, 2013 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Out one ear - Linda Atwell - No TTofT this week, Kristi?October 14, 2013 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - OMG it hurts. Public hurts so freaking much. Can I live in your cave? But only if you have WIFIOctober 15, 2013 – 11:32 amReplyCancel

Friends. Do you know Michelle from Getting Literal? She’s amazing. She’s got these incredible multi-faceted talents that include being a brilliant poet and also a hilarious advice columnist with her occasional alter-ego guest poster, the cranky Aunt Em. Michelle’s words speak for themselves and always blow me away. So, without further hoopla about how incredible […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Dana - Michelle, that was beautiful. At each vantage point the people in your life could choose (or not choose) empathy. You always write so poetically, in both your prose and your poems. Thank you for sharing your gift with Our Land!October 9, 2013 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - You are preaching to the choir, because I love Michelle and have since I first got to know her on Hubpages. And I did know of her brain tumors from her, but loved the way she opened up and described her dealings with this and the poem she added at the end was just perfect and really put the icing on the cake for this post. Thanks for sharing Michelle and thanks Kristi for having her here today!! 🙂October 9, 2013 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I loved this part: But as I reach this point of the climb, I learn from these colleagues that we cannot get that understanding unless we try to empathize with ourselves and others. That we cannot expect others to empathize with us, unless we communicate.

    I may need to add Singapore to my bucket list. Thanks for another lovely Wednesday post, Kristi.October 9, 2013 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - Gorgeous poetry. Thanks for pointing us in her direction. 😉October 9, 2013 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Wow. This is beautiful, and it reveals to me that everyone has a story- a journey in finding empathy. Thanks for sharing her lovely gift with us, Kristi!! I will definitely go check her out!!October 10, 2013 – 12:01 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Michelle, this is such a great post and I’m really impressed by the compassion and level of understanding YOU show to those who have hurt you. You’re right though – so much about being able to empathise is about knowing in the first place what it is that needs empathy. Congratulations and welcome to Our Land.
    Kristi – keep ’em coming. Our Land keeps getting richer and more wonderful 🙂October 10, 2013 – 2:14 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - I think that you are a strong woman. This post isn’t just about empathy…it’s your strength. I love that you chose to portray that in “climbing”.
    I’m sorry that you had to go through that and I thank you for sharing. You write so eloquently.October 10, 2013 – 7:04 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Beautiful and gripping. I enjoyed watching YOUR climb through strength, as you described a climb to a land of empathy. Really though, I’ve never seen a post on Kristi’s site (including all of hers) that didn’t reduce me to a puddle of emotion.October 10, 2013 – 8:01 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - I always love Michelle’s stories and poems and this was no exception…I had no idea she had such a climb, but hearing her journey has given me inspiration during my family’s climb right now. And the point that we need to communicate with others in order to receive empathy is a very good one, and something I will keep in mind in the months ahead…October 10, 2013 – 10:07 amReplyCancel

  • Andrea - Really engaging piece of writing. Thought-provoking and well-written. Thank you for sharing.October 10, 2013 – 11:17 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Dana, thanks so much! Yes, at each point we can choose whether to empathize or not.
    If people choose to do so, the world would be a better place!

    Janine, yes, my friend, thanks for sharing! An opportunity to open up here!

    Linda, if you put Singapore on your bucket list, I’ll be very happy to play host!

    Meeshie-thank you so much!

    Lizzi, yup, what I’ve sadly discovered is that people don’t empathize because they are very unaware that empathy is needed in the first place. It is a skill very often left untaught.

    Kimberly, thanks so much. To cry is also to be strong! Sometimes we all need a good one!

    Hi Chris! I think I know you on G+ already!

    Tamara, thanks so much, my fellow Creative Buzz Hostini! Am glad to share with everyone here!

    Emily, yes, we need to communicate indeed, because it is hard for others to fully understand unless we show them what we are on about. That can be a very difficult journey because people simply do not want to see at times.

    Andrea, thank you for stopping by.October 10, 2013 – 11:36 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Simply beautiful! Thank you for sharing Michelle. I love how far and wide Our Land stretches.October 10, 2013 – 2:24 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Love this!!! (:October 10, 2013 – 10:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - You have truly added a new perspective to Our Land with these words: “We cannot expect others to empathize with us unless we communicate.” Wow, blew me away. Thank you.October 11, 2013 – 3:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Rainbow Hues - Every life has a story and the message has been so poetically brought here. Communication can truly expand our horizons and help us reach out to others. A very nice post.

    Thanks 🙂October 11, 2013 – 4:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Jamie@SouthMainMuse - That was beautiful Michelle. It always amazes me how what we experience as a child sticks with us — forms us — into who we are. We are all such fragile beings yet all contain the capacity for great strength and overcoming adversity. Your words painted a beautiful picture of this.October 13, 2013 – 9:48 pmReplyCancel

While there is much that I am thankful for this week, including the fact that the asshats in Congress have at least maybe agreed to pay people like my husband who has worked every day for the last 14 days (of which the past seven have only now been hinted at being paid for), I’m […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • zoe - How cool is that?…book &lizzi pic! I feel your pain about the nap….how often I longed for one wheny kid refused. his latest meltdown was a biggie…but his wife handled it….he’s 25 now. LolOctober 7, 2013 – 1:23 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Wow! You’re in the book too! That’s SO awesome 🙂 Congrats.

    And yah, boo, SUCKS to Tucker’s naptime going west. Hope it reinstated itself later in the week. The meltdown can’t’ve been fun for either of you :/

    SO PLEASED the damn government might honour the work your husband’s been doing by, I dunno, PAYING HIM HIS WAGES! Goodfreakin’grief! They truly are a bunch of asshats.

    And as per the letter from your lawyers, I hereby publicly issue the following statement of my own free will and volition, andticipating that in this case the nature of the statement here made will ensure that the placatory response is sufficient in belaying any further legal action on your part.

    “Whilst my intentions were good, it was entirely wrong of me to take, without permission, the images depicted here on FindingNinee.com and use them for my own graphic without proper attribution or regard for copyright infringement laws. I apologise wholeheartedly and publicly commit to not doing so again. I also give up all rights to the image I produced, as it contains protected content.”

    Thanks for not taking this any further 😉October 7, 2013 – 2:18 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh you keep a good secret! I bought the book the other day and I saw your thumbnail on Amazon and I still said, “But she hasn’t mentioned it….”. Loving the book so far. Ok now let me go read your post for real. See I got stopped in my tracks…October 7, 2013 – 6:05 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Huge congrats on the book – that’s awesome!!! And yes, it’s a sad, sad day (for us moms) when our kid gives up that nap. I’m convinced that’s when the “TV as babysitter” kicks in — it’s one way to keep our sanity during those long afternoons….October 7, 2013 – 7:27 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I totally couldn’t help to be thankful for that, too Kristi and you are right who doesn’t have a mommy meltdown every so often. Not sure I would like to know or meet the person who tries to say they don’t. Congrats and just so happy to be a part of this with you, too!! 🙂October 7, 2013 – 7:30 amReplyCancel

  • christine - It really bites when kids give up the nap way before their body is ready. So, so unnecessarily cranky! (Your tweet was really funny.)
    Congrats on the book!October 7, 2013 – 7:32 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - We totally feel like rock stars now with that awesome shout-out! Thank you! 🙂 The book is fantastic and will be a must-read for moms everywhere! Congratulations! 🙂 We are so excited for all of you!-The Dose GirlsOctober 7, 2013 – 8:11 amReplyCancel

  • don - So this book is only for people with vaginas then is what you’re saying?October 7, 2013 – 9:23 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Scarlet is afraid of Captain Hook in Jake and the Neverland Pirates. (I am too)
    I want to steal this whole blog post and pass it on as mine. Yay for meltdowns! (well..not really) Yay for meltdowners uniting!October 7, 2013 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Naps are the best thing ever. I had one kid who fought them tooth and nail, and one who loved them. That one said to me last night as I was saying goodnight, “Ah…I love my bed.” Me too, kid. I am always thankful for my bed, as pathetic as that sounds.October 7, 2013 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Kristi, I’m not a mummy, but I’ve seen this book being talked about and sounds really good! Rest well now!October 7, 2013 – 11:56 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - And seeing as I managed to skip over the best part of the post (your lovely book) – what Michelle said 😉October 7, 2013 – 12:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - A friend of mine has “happy horizontal time” scheduled everyday for her kids. The idea is that they don’t have to nap, but they do have to be horizontal and quiet (happy) on their beds for one hour. Of course, if they are tired, one hour of horizontal time sometime stretches into a longer nap.

    I don’t know, however, how she convinces the kids to actually participate in happy horizontal time. I know mine would have protested!October 7, 2013 – 1:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - The best part of this book…that I’m in it with YOU! So happy to be co-authors together. I hope it happens again someday SOON! Mwah!October 7, 2013 – 1:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura - I got the ebook last night. So far, I’m loving it!October 7, 2013 – 1:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura - I love the look of your blog! Definitely would like to check out that book. Laughing is the cure to everything!October 7, 2013 – 2:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Oh, I know meltdowns all too well. Sigh. I love that picture by Lizzi!October 7, 2013 – 3:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - It’s the hardest surrender you will EVER have to survive…letting go of naptime. Oh yes, I tried to force it to go on forever, but they kicked and screamed and kicked some more and threw things and threw fits and cried a lot… and so did I. Until- it was over. I had to raise the white flag. It sucked. Bad.

    XOXOOctober 7, 2013 – 5:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - What a kick-ass drawing! I feel empowered just looking at it. 😉October 7, 2013 – 5:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Melissa@Home on Deranged - First off, Lizzi’s drawing is kick ass! Truly she is the queen of color and optimism. Second, I hate nap avoidance. I would love to take a nap, even if it’s 20 minutes after I get up in the morning. What do they think they’re going to miss? Everything. Wait til they find out there’s not really that much going on. Sigh. Awesome intro for the book. Thank you for that.October 7, 2013 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - I would TOTALLY like to handle all our behavioral situations like June Cleaver did. SHE PASSED THE BUCK TO WARD EVERY TIME.October 7, 2013 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - I bought the book but haven’t read it yet…want to give me an audio version so I can listen to it as I drive to work? LOL.

    motherhood and meltdowns go hand in hand.

    Dino doesn’t nap on the weekends and it is torture from 2:00 on till bedtime.October 8, 2013 – 10:37 amReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - Hi Kristi! I have the book (bought it immediately) and LOVE it!! It’s freakin’ hysterical and I can relate to ALL the stories fer sher!

    Sorry about the nap thing…UGH. I still try to bribe mine to take them and they’re 6 & 9 now. It’s a sad sad day when the nap goes bye bye. The worst.October 8, 2013 – 5:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - I’m beyond thrilled that so many of my favorite bloggers are showcased in this book. Such an awesome thing.
    Reagan tried to pull the no nap thing on me today. I about went bat shit crazy {this move is taking it out of me!}
    She quietly marched back upstairs and went straight to sleep. Thank you child of mine!
    Hope you are having a wonderful day mama.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comOctober 8, 2013 – 5:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Menopausal Mother - Congrats on the book, Kristi! It’s so exciting! And I LOVE what Lizzi’s drawing. Here’s to hoping you can get in some nap time soon!October 8, 2013 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Son of a….naps…don’t…let…them…go. Once you do, you’ll have an ankle biter for the rest of your days.
    I’m so proud of you for the book! Squeeeeeee!!!!October 10, 2013 – 6:56 amReplyCancel

Do you guys know my friend Don from Don of All Trades? He’s brilliantly hilarious and also really touching when he’s not riding around on a kid’s tricycle and posting about obese people. He’s a cool guy. He makes me laugh. He makes me think. So when I pestered him for an Our Land post, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kerri - Great addition to Our Land, Don. You fit right in. I remember reading this post (or something close to it) and it still has impact. Thank you so much for sharing. Oh, and I am totally rooting for you on Idol. As soon as I figure out how to vote that is.October 2, 2013 – 9:08 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerri,
    I’m rooting for him on that Dancing with the Penguins Blog hop thing too! Not his fault that those asses didn’t recognize how excellent we are.
    —October 2, 2013 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - It’s amazing how we can have contact with certain people over the course of our lives, and even if the contact is somewhat fleeting, we never forget them. Sounds like you have had many memorable experiences with all types of people through your job, but what I love most about this post is that becoming a parent is what made you see these people differently.October 2, 2013 – 9:18 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Don – this is nothing short of mindblowing. Thank you so much for being part of Our Land, and although you say you’re not quite happy with this, it’s probably my favourite thing I’ve read today, for two reasons.
    First, your massive, active, renewed and refreshed empathy and compassion for those you serve and deal with on a daily basis.
    Second (though to me, more important) the wonderful, amazing way you’re parenting your kids. Thank you so much for being such a great dad to them. Your no-spanking thoughts (not going to get into it too much, promise) are wonderful, and your attitude there gives me so much happiness and hope. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Kristi – Our Land for the WIN. And today you won BIG. I’m in constant awe and wonder at the calibre of people and ideas you’re bringing into this. I might need to give you a “Queen of Everything” hat.October 2, 2013 – 9:30 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I couldn’t help, but want to read this from start to finish and so happy I did. Loved getting Don’s thoughts and feelings here about society and people in general. Wonderful addition to Our Land this week and really made me sit up and re-evaluate how I see others sometimes, too.October 2, 2013 – 9:42 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden Spoons - Don, I think this fits in perfectly with the Our Land series! I think on some level we all become somewhat indifferent to the plights of others. Perhaps because it is too overwhelming??? Personally, I rarely watch the news because I just get so tired of hearing about all the sadness and violence and suffering. This post is very honest and helps us remember (or at least me) that people are people first and everyone is struggling with something. Small gestures – even just a little ol’ blog post – can make a big difference!October 2, 2013 – 9:49 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Excellent story Don. Very well rounded to teach the Our Land readers a new lesson – compassion for all people because we were all babies once and what I call bad people or hopeless people are victims or circumstances they couldn’t get away from. Thank you for sharing. God bless the little children!October 2, 2013 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - This is absolutely phenomenal.
    Don, thank you for telling it like it is.
    I used to work in Detroit as a pediatric ER nurse. Yes, different jobs, but they mimic each other in many ways. I live in Canada, so when I started working it was one of those “Holy shit” moments. I had no idea what the world was like for some people…and for some of those people, that is their “normal”
    I wanted to save everyone. I snuck diapers, formula, bottles, blankets, etc to the parents who couldn’t afford it. I swear to you that at quitting time, I broke down in tears because no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough.
    That’s when the black set in…people were just that. People. People who bring in their “sick” kids who are eating Cheetos. People who want their child to be admitted because they need a baby sitter for the night. People complaining because they think they’re at a hotel and give us shit for our “subpar” care…yet they are homeless…drug addicts…all around pieces of shit.
    Yup. Said it.
    I could go on, but you get it. I became desensitized. I feel terrible admitting that. I had to keep reminding myself that they are people…that they need our sympathy and support…but we still need to distance ourselves. We can’t save everyone.
    My son changed the way I see the world…they are amazing aren’t they.
    Again, thank you for being so open about this. An awesome post.October 2, 2013 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - This was an excellent post to share in our Land!

    Don, I ove how the blogosphere has changed my perspective on many things. I totally get where you’re coming from there.

    I hope you can stop beating yourself up so much for the bitterness you had. I’m sure you were doing the best you could at the time. Besides, when you know better, you do better, right?October 2, 2013 – 12:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - I come from a family that has police officers, swat officers, marine corp members, air force and on and on. So I have mad respect for the trade.
    It’s hard because in this position you feel like you have to save everyone. Small gestures are still gestures.
    Beautiful story.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comOctober 2, 2013 – 3:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Empathy and wonder isn’t reserved for a specific group of people, and you illustrated that point beautifully in this piece, Don. Thank you for sharing it with us!October 2, 2013 – 4:00 pmReplyCancel

  • don - I guess there’s no way to reply to individual comments? Anyway, Thanks for the great comments everybody; I appreciate them. I’m always a little leery to sort of throw myself out there to strangers, but you made me feel good about doing so.October 2, 2013 – 7:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - Such a great lesson for all of us to learn. Thank you for throwing yourself out there, Don. You could certainly teach a class in empathy…even to a group of SN moms.October 2, 2013 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - This is a fantastic post, really. Your perspective is so unique, and was well worth our while! We all struggle like you did. Before I had my son I was so judgemental about parents not being able to control their children. Until I had a boy with Sensory Processing Disorder. Then I found myself sitting on the floor in the shopping mall, arms and legs wrapped around him so he wouldn’t hit me, just praying security wouldn’t think I was the abuser. I have written many a post apologizing to all those mama’s who I silently judged.
    Really, thank you so much for your perspective, maybe part of your place in this world is to share that with other police officers. It would be a good deed for sure.October 2, 2013 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Life has a way of teaching us and growing us into a person that constantly changes perspective and will. I love how you shared so much of your story and your perspective on everything evolving like it did. I love your authenticity. We need more of that from men!!!October 2, 2013 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Sitting here at nearly midnight, after using up five hours of my day going to see Sesame Street Live with my daughter, and I was too captivated to stop halfway or go to bed. Any friend of Kristi’s is a friend of mine, so any guest of Kristi’s is a guest of mine. Or something! Just means I would never NOT read anything on this page.

    It’s true. Everyone has a story. Thank you for telling your story and your point of view. So much of it just doesn’t occur to me on a regular basis, or ever. And I’d love to change that about myself.October 2, 2013 – 11:40 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Wow, what an eye-opening post. It really hit home for me, and I love that you’re making an effort to understand the “stories” behind the people you help…the world needs more people like you, and after reading this, I’m going to make an effort to be more aware of those around me. Thank you.October 3, 2013 – 10:39 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Don! I love that you are here! You are one of my favorite writers to read- you are so engaging. It is almost incomprehensible to try to get a feel for what your daily work is like. And is that what you look like in real life?! Isn’t it funny how it blows are mind when we see bloggers’ actual faces and not what we made up in our own head? Crazy.October 3, 2013 – 8:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I really relate to this post, as a teacher in an urban setting. I found a crack pipe in a second-grader’s backpack one time. The list goes on. I hate that “I failed all of them” feeling, that feeling of helplessness. The candor and honesty of this post gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. Brilliant addition to Our Land. Thank you, Kristi and Don.October 3, 2013 – 9:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - Great addition to the Land of Empathy. Thanks, Don.
    The comment that everyone was once somebody’s baby reminded me of this song that I used to play on my guitar, a few lifetimes ago. It’s actually a pretty good one for the Land of Empathy, I think…

    http://grooveshark.com/#!/search/song?q=Christine+Lavin+Somebody%27s+BabyOctober 10, 2013 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Awesome song, Sara!
    MWAH!!October 12, 2013 – 4:45 pmReplyCancel

Last night, when I read that I was supposed to tell you about music that changed my life, made me me, I decided to skip this week. It’s not that the topic isn’t perfect and amazing, because it is (and thought up by the amazing Troy* from As Long as I’m Singing). It’s not that […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Janine Huldie - Haven’t heard this song in years, but now I have in my head for sure and might even be a great song to sing to my two little girls. Thanks for sharing and hoping the rest of your week is less chaotic now and a bit quieter for sure!October 1, 2013 – 12:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Janine! I hope my week gets quieter as well!
    I’ll bet your little girls would love Puff the Magic Dragon!October 1, 2013 – 12:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - So of course my favorite part of this post is the picture of you and your friend thinking you’re cool in one of those Pier 1 round chairs (which we also thought were so cool) and the tin foil on the TV antennaes – priceless! I wish I had a song that may have changed my life…maybe I do and don’t realize it yet, just like you had your epiphany?October 1, 2013 – 12:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - HA, Emily! Love that you had the Pier 1 round chairs (I do believe they were called Papasan chairs and a MUST for every first-post-college apartment, yes?).
    Well…maybe “changed my life” is a wee exaggeration..maybe.October 1, 2013 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Dream - I heard that song for the first time at camp too, also clueless at the time what it may or may not be about. And I agree with Emily, the sign language cartoon was classic. Don’t kid yourself, like always, you did a great job with your post today.October 1, 2013 – 12:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - I didn’t think it was a crap job sticking to the topic, I thought this was the coolest and most wonderful interpretation of the topic! I related so much to the fatigue and unwillingness to stretch your brain yet again to come up with a contrived version on this week’s topic I so often feel that way. I love that the light bulb went off when you were half way asleep catching yourself singing puff. Lovely!October 1, 2013 – 12:58 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - I was there when the song first came out… and along with Donovan’s electrical bananas it formed the center of many quickly-non-sensical-conversations among those of a certain age. And I might have wondered about what kids of your generation thought of the whole puff thing… but,
    (to paraphrase Quentin Tarantino): “thats not what’s on my mind. What’s on my mind is the question(s): a) is that Data and Tasha in foreplay mode in the background of your drawing and 2) why is Date and Tasha in foreplay mode in the background of your drawing”October 1, 2013 – 1:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Ohhhhhhh Kristi, this immediately transports me back to school assemblies, where we used to sing it. I can almost smell the varnish they used on the floor. I love it.

    But from the very start I’ve been far too hooked into this song, because I can never listen to it without overwhelming, indescribable sorrow.

    Too much rejection, unloving, unbelonging and being left behind, and yeah, it still gets me.

    Leaving you now with a (falsely, music-induced) heavy heart, which I’ll shake off by going to spend the evening with friends. I’m glad that this song is a high point for you, and provides beautiful moments of shared togetherness, love and absolute belonging for you and Tucker. Pleased you have that.October 1, 2013 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I love this song, and I love that you wrote about it. Oh, and it’s a total myth that the song is about drugs – I googled it. And everyone knows that everything on the Internet is true.October 1, 2013 – 1:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - It may not be the best song ever, but it’s totally on my new CD, which will be coming your way as soon as they arrive, thanks to your skill and expertise! The sign language drawing made me crack up. “We are so fucking cool…” 🙂October 1, 2013 – 4:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - I have never been a fan of Peter Paul and Mary … but i do what you do, I change the lyrics of songs for Rey’s bed time. We have a lot of fun with it.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comOctober 1, 2013 – 4:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - DUDE. That is one of my favorite songs, ever! Right on. 🙂October 1, 2013 – 5:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Quick Stepp- Melissa - LOVED this. I used to think it was saying “atomis”. Yeah, I don’t know what that is either. But I figured a dragon can frolic wherever he damn well pleases. He’s also going to frolic in some magical places I’ve never heard of, one of which is Atomis.October 1, 2013 – 5:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - This is SO not lame! I loved this post so much, because it is SO real. That’s the point, isn’t it? This song has meant something to you your whole life. And now you’re sharing it with Tucker and so it will be with him for his whole life too. Plus your pictures always make me laugh and I love that so much. I need lots of laughing. Don’t give up, you’re way to hard on yourself, your mixtape contributions rock!October 1, 2013 – 8:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That song is a favorite in our house – not sure I remember it much from my own childhood, but I could swear I have a memory of meeting Peter, Paul & Mary. I also have a memory of a seal biting my finger at the Turtleback Zoo around that same time, so I’m pretty sure it’s just fake life filler.
    I still stand by it!October 1, 2013 – 8:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - This song brings me back to childhood as well. I had this on a record of children’s songs in the early ’80s which I adored. My dad has since put the record onto CD for my kids so we can enjoy it all over again. Another gem on the record – and so one I also identify with childhood – includes “The Big Rock Candy Mountain” – before they went and cleaned it up. So they croon happily about the “buzzing of the bees in the cigarette trees”. I remember having a moment at “Music and Me” class with my eldest as we suddenly were all crooning about the peppermint trees.October 1, 2013 – 9:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Amber - I remember that song when I was a kid! We sing Little Bunny Fo Fo a lot in this house.October 1, 2013 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Shefali - Nice job with the pictures! I always set out to do that sort of art for my blog but somehow get derailed.
    I didn’t grow up in this country so puff the magic dragon is not something I have ever heard. but my daughter will, heading over to youtube now 🙂
    Thanks for stopping by.October 2, 2013 – 1:40 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Love that you drew the papasan chair. I’m sitting in mine as I type this.

    Puff the Magic Dragon. In fact, Peter Paul and Mary. The stuff of childhood. They were such a big part of my childhood experience – listening to and singing their songs. Memories!October 2, 2013 – 5:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - We totally were sofa king cool. We signed the sh!t out of Puff (not to mention “Corner of the Sky”!! –so emotional and dramatic!!)

    So Clark, I can tell you why Data & Tasha were on TV: because Data was “fully functional.” ST:TNG was our every-afternoon show and the “Data is fully functional” ep was our favorite episode. We would sit on our papasan together (amazing how roomy they were) and debate if the characters were high or not (they totally were).

    ….also, Kristi didn’t mention that the reason we were signing all the songs in her camp songbook was b/c she was playing hooky from her sign language class. I was helping her practice sign to justify missing class. 🙂October 3, 2013 – 11:40 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Aw! I love the idea of songs coming to life again through our children. I’d never thought about it like that. How lovely!October 3, 2013 – 9:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - Sooo funny! Loved this post! I remember being told that song was about drugs, too. My husband is sitting next to me right now and saw what your post was about. He said that was one of his favorites growing up as well. It has sent him off on a tangent and he’s STILL talking about songs. He has no idea I’m not listening. He’ll never shut up….October 5, 2013 – 10:16 amReplyCancel

  • Karen @BakingInATornado - Puff the Magic Dragon was a favorite of mine from many years gone by. It’s one of those songs that I rarely think of, and when I do it makes me smile and wonder why I don’t think of it more often. Thanks for the reminder, I’ll be singing it in my head all day today.October 5, 2013 – 10:37 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - SO fun to read this… I am smiling ear to ear with your stories and your preciousness that is threaded through your words. SO cool. I am amazed at your memory- seriously. I can’t remember hardly ANYTHING… I love your history, your stories, your YOU. XOOctober 7, 2013 – 10:07 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - I have a huge long list of songs. The first one that came to mind is “California Dreaming” by The Mamas and The Papas. I totally caught the tin foil and rabbit ears on the tv set! I remember those days, Kristi! 🙂February 2, 2014 – 11:53 amReplyCancel

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