Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Hi, friends. Today, I want to remind everybody that there is greatness. Empathy. Wonder. But. I’m crying, and I don’t know who I’m crying for. I’ve been really sad and angry about what’s happened this week. For those of you not in the autism community, you may be unaware of the recent tragedy. Kelli Stapleton tried […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Courtney - I know what you are saying…. I cry for a desperate mom who was pushed over the edge because treatments are expensive and insurance won’t pay… I pray for her, and all parents of children with asd. It’s a tough road and I can’t imagine what it’s like for parents with kids further on the spectrum. Hugs to youSeptember 11, 2013 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - My heart is breaking for this mom and her daughter. It scares me more than I can ever say. And it just reinforces my deep belief that there has to be more help for parents. There are some situations that are so intense, and painful, and complicated that they really seem suitable only for super heroes, not mere mortals. Thank you for posting this. It is such a hard topic but if we in the special needs community don’t bring it to light who will? My thoughts and prayers are with all involved in this horrible tragedy.September 11, 2013 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - I had not heard about this yet. I for one think you are brave and wonderful for posting this, and I applaud your honesty and even the rawness of this post. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to separate and make sense of your feelings of grief. I guess it doesn’t really matter who you are crying for. You can keep crying either way, for as long as you need to. Wish I could hug you.September 11, 2013 – 11:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - I followed Kelli’s blog as well as was a supporter of Team Issy. I was literally floored when I heard what had happened. I found out “something” had happened through a post on her Facebook wall by her husband. I had to google it to find out the situation.

    I’m not condoning what she did, but I think that most of us agree that there needs to be more funding available for services for special needs children as well as support for families. And it needs to be consistent from state to state and even school district to school district.September 11, 2013 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - Now I’m crying to. I can’t imagine a world that would be better without Isaiah in it. I can’t imagine a world that would be better without Issy and Kelli in it. I don’t care. As parents we have to pull our shit together, there is always hope even if we can’t see it. She had a humongous community of people willing to help and support her.
    I don’t know what I would do if Isaiah was violent. There was a time I was truly afraid he would burn our house down (not just how I joke about it now) there is not one flame producing contraption in our house. He killed some baby birds for cripes sake! But I reached out, and I was comforted.
    There is always help. There is never a reason to do what she did. She may not have liked her options, but none of them involved a life without her daughter, and leaving her other child without a mom!
    I hope she can forgive herself someday. I don’t know what else to say.September 11, 2013 – 11:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - I’ve only seen bits and pieces of this, as I am not really in the autism community… but I immediately thought to myself, “I must pray for this poor mama… and her child…and everyone involved.”

    As much as “on-line friendships and community” help and support, we really don’t know what goes on in the real life behind closed doors/off screen. I am guessing that there was a breaking point, and no one can judge.

    We also can’t project our own issues/feelings on another person’s situation. Every single human being is different and every circumstance is different: autistic or not. I would try your best to transform your anger into an outward pouring of grief and love for a desperate soul struggling and suffering so much that she tried to end her life and her precious child’s.

    Her child- her life. Not yours. Does that make sense, my friend?

    Detach the two as best you can, and I do think you may feel a liberation and a new light will come into your sweet, passionate heart. Filter your passion with a very narrow vision- one mom, one child- in pain. All the other variables are influential indeed, but not the center of this issue. Many may take it elsewhere, but I surely won’t.September 11, 2013 – 11:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - So, first I’m sorry you are so upset. I have to agree with Chris C above on two counts. First that online friendships are amazing, but there is so much you can hide or hide behind. You never truly know what’s going on in a person’s life. For that matter, even IRL you don’t always know. And second, detachment… it’s the only way to preserve your sanity. I’m TERRIBLE at it. I still cry every time I read or hear about Sandy Hook. Buddhism tells us to practice non-attachment because then we are better able to handle things that come our way. I’m going to be up way late tonight working on something not blog-related (wow!), so you can FB chat me or whatever, k? Hang in there. xoSeptember 12, 2013 – 12:33 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Oh, this is so incredibly sad to hear. I can’t imagine having to deal with something like that. And I can definitely understand your fears and anger, as well. I hope they can find the support they need. 🙁 And hugs to you!September 12, 2013 – 1:20 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I heard about what happened the other day, but I don’t know any of the background. I think its horribly sad that a mom was so burnt out that she just couldn’t go on and felt this was the best way to deal with it. The article I saw didn’t mention Issy’s violence. I’m sad for the whole situation.September 12, 2013 – 2:12 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh geez, I hardly know what to say. I just read the article. I wasn’t invested in knowing her story the way you do. In reading the article I just feel complete sadness that Issy is critical condition. Her words, and “extreme case of battle fatigue” speaks volumes. She shouldn’t have done that but I feel sorry for her – for both of them.September 12, 2013 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

  • SocialButterflyMom - This is heart wrenching…I’m with Deb: I cried for 10 days after Sandy Hook and still do every time I read about it. This must be consuming your thoughts. Definitely don’t take this post down. Let yourself be sad. We’re cruel and impatient with ourselves when we don’t allow the “bad” feelings (sadness, anger).September 12, 2013 – 6:52 amReplyCancel

  • Misty @ Meet the Cottons - i think you’re having a valid reaction to someone who has tried to committ suicide. the murder/suicide part is especially shocking. it’s not usually something that anyone sees coming, or most of us would try to help that individual before it gets to that point. and don’t forget that the person behind the blog, the person you think you know, may be nothing at all like the real person.

    it would be the most difficult thing to do as a parent, but if you’re child is violent beyond your ability to handle, you have to take some kind of action. and murder/suicide is not what i have in mind. i think doctor’s today just expect us to care for a child because it’s our kid, kids are our responsibility. and, i believe that to be true, but there are many ways to care for a loved one. and being their full time care giver isn’t the only option out there. at some point in the past X years it became unheard of to have your family memeber institutionalized. i mean that word is unheard of nowadays. and none of us are going to read about a family making that choice and applaud them for it, right?

    our job as a parent, is to take care of our children. but, we have to be honest with ourselves. not everyone is able to care for a special needs child. not everyone faced with a special needs child makes the decision to go to battle day after day, still hanging onto the thread of hope that someday your loved one will be better. i think there needs to be a lot more talk about how those better days may never come. maybe kelli and issy’s story would have ended differently fifty years ago.

    i think we hear about autism today and think of it as a new thing. but, autism has been around a long time. the concept has undergone many changes over the years, partly due to media attention and organizations who only show the “good” end of the spectrum. but, we are not the first group of parents who are dealing with this diagnosis. and we really need to come to terms with the good and the bad side of this diagnosis.

    at the end of the day, autism is just a label. it’s not that magic wand we are all looking for.September 12, 2013 – 7:06 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I would have published the post too. And the media is dumb. The world is filled with violent individuals, who are not autistic or special needs, and they don’t even have lovely sides as well. I read what Chris Carter wrote above, and wow. What she said! You are lovely. Chris is lovely. Tucker is lovely.September 12, 2013 – 7:12 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Your post has me filled with emotion. So much so that I don’t know if I can articulate myself. As a former educator of kids with special needs, I have been confronted by lots of “violence” in the classroom. At some points, it was a daily occurrence. The “outbursts” were hard to bear because of how out of proportion they felt, how uncontrollable they seemed. Administration, other teachers and, sometimes, even parents always wanted to demonize the child. I did on occasion too. Its hard on everyone, but the one thing I always tried to do was see the child as a WHOLE person. The truth was that the amplitude of the outbursts outweighed their frequency. Much of our day was beautiful. And I tried to focus on that. I am not by any stretch of the means saying it is easy, and the children who ended up needing to go to day treatment centers still haunt me. I feel that I failed them. But, truth be told, I did not fail them. The perception that administration had about them (as well as the media and public) did. I never got the chance or resources to help them the way that I could have. That is the shame. NOT the child.September 12, 2013 – 7:46 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Wow, in teaching I saw all ends of the spectrum and some of those with autism were indeed violent. But I never had to deal with this as a parent. So I am not even sure if I am qualified to comment here, but I feel terrible reading this and like you not sure who I feel worse for. The child doesn’t know any better and does have this issues because of being autism, but the parent probably was pushed to her limit, but not saying this excuses her in any way, but still I could assume this could really do a number on someone. I am truly sorry though and just know that I am thinking of you and if you need to talk you can always message me.September 12, 2013 – 7:47 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - I have no idea what it is like in her shoes. No one does. I’m going to touch lightly on this subject because like you, I have mixed feelings.
    I do not condone violence (against children, people) and if that violence occurs in a heat of the moment, if it occurs because of mental health issues (think of postpartum psychosis cases)the person who committed the crime, they need to be accountable for it.
    I feel incredibly sad that an innocent life was taken. I feel sad for the mom who felt like there was no way out.
    I don’t really know.
    I just feel sorry for the entire situation.
    I applaud you for writing this and I’m sending you lots of comforting hugs.September 12, 2013 – 8:08 amReplyCancel

  • Krystal - I know the mixture of emotions you are feeling and its not easy. Autism is not easy. Life is not easy. One of my ASD boys is violent – today I found out he bit and kicked his aide, whom he loves by the way. He has bit me and thrown things at me. He’s only 8. There is violence in autism – but there are so many good things too. I hold onto those good things on the bad days. You are not alone in your worry and thoughts. We are here for you – and thank you for writing. Much love!September 12, 2013 – 8:34 amReplyCancel

  • Sue - Don’t take this down. This is heartbreaking, I hadn’t heard either – but don’t take this post down.September 12, 2013 – 8:50 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I’m back again. Reading comments. I hope you keep the post up. There are some wonderful comments here. Our blogs are a means of communication in instances like this. Sometimes we don’t want to go there but we can help each other if we are brave enough to say what we are really thinking.September 12, 2013 – 8:52 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh my friend, I think you are crying for all of us. Those who love our special children, those who fear them and those who are doing their best to keep everyone safe.

    As one who (eons ago) went the road of suicide, I can say that it feels like the only option. The only way to stop the hurt, both your own and those you care the most about. I’m not saying what Kelli did was right or wrong. None of us have that right. She, at that time, was making the only choice she thought she had available.

    Jill said it best, where was everyone when Kelli screamed for help?

    I’m glad you wrote this honest post. It definitely needs to be included in Our Land.

    Our Land isn’t about creating a perfect society. It’s purpose (to me) is that we are trying to create awareness. That being special is different. Sometimes in ways that are simply awesome and some that are difficult beyond our wildest imaginations.

    We need to keep screaming for help and understanding. And empathy and wonder.

    Love you.September 12, 2013 – 10:06 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Wow! This is the first I have heard of Kelli, Issy, and their situation. It is most definitely heart wrenching in so many ways. It makes me so sad for Kelli to know that she was so desperate for help and support and answers that she felt this was the only solution. It makes me sad for what she now has to live with for the rest of her life. It also makes me sad for moms – all moms – who are at the end of their ropes, out of patience, out of energy, out of hope. I think all moms have those moments, but obviously some more than others. I won’t pretend to even begin to know how it must affect you. I am glad you wrote about it and I hope the support you get from your blogging community helps! (((HUGS)))September 12, 2013 – 10:25 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - I completely understand your intense emotional reaction to this. I am not nearly as connected to this story as you are, but Kelli and I have followed each other on Twitter and I read a couple of her blog posts and they stayed with me. I can’t say I was a follower of the blog. I had no idea this happened and I was horrified to read the details of the story. You are right, there is no room for violence in our land, but some will say that this was an irrational act. A purely emotional gut reaction of a broken mom. Does that matter? I don’t know. Some will say this was a desperate but thought-out act of saving her other daughter Ainsley from being the victim of violence. I don’t know what this is. Maybe a little bit of everything. All I know is that my heart broke this morning for Issy, for Kelli and for you.

    Finally, I am sure your husband has some valid and compelling reasons, but I don’t see why you would need to remove this post.September 12, 2013 – 10:28 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - I have the most amazing friends in the world. Thank you so much you guys. For your words, for your support, for being wonderful. <3September 12, 2013 – 11:57 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - This post should stay right where it is, Kristi.

    It’s absolutely brim-full of Truth. Not the nice kind, or the wonderful kind, but the hard, stark, nasty kind – and it’s absolutely valid too.

    Your confusion about who to cry for – valid.

    Your concerns about Tucker – valid.

    Your fears about the levels of support available for families whose kids have special needs – valid.

    I can say nothing better to you than to read Chris C’s comment. Print it out. Keep it close.

    Your situation – everyone’s situation – is different.

    Issy seems to have been an incredibly violent and strong young lady, and that nature, nurture or a combination of the two brought her to that place, is horrifying, upsetting beyond belief and completely unfair. It’s a perfect world, where the challenge of managing someone like her, alone, must seem insurmountable.

    That Kelli was unsupported and got to a place of desperation where she felt this was her only option, is just heartbreaking. I can’t begin to imagine the amount of anguish her decision must have cost her, and must still be exacting.

    The tragic situation of the whole family seems symptomatic of the rot which has set in. Less care. Less compassion. Less funding.

    We NEED people like you to publicise this – to advertise it – to proclaim it LOUD. This world – these kids – their families – desperately need advocates like you. And the more you can do – the more people you bring into Our Land, the better this world will be.September 12, 2013 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Kristi,
    I am really, really glad that you decided to publish this post. This is the first that I’ve heard of this situation, and my heart, too, is breaking for everyone involved. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to comment on this because I just don’t have any words…there are no words. And you’re right…violence doesn’t fit into Our Land, and it shouldn’t be a part of the world as a whole either…but working to create a more peaceful world, a world built upon understanding and acceptance, does NOT make you a hypocrite. And Our Land isn’t about creating a utopian society. To me, at least, it’s about constructing a world where Kelli would have gotten the support that she needed when she was crying for help…it’s about kindness and understanding…it’s a world where people are embraced, flaws and all, for who they are.

    Thank you again for posting this. I am heartbroken too, and wish that violence wasn’t a part of the world. Thank you for speaking up.September 12, 2013 – 12:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Jamie@SouthMainMuse - No I had not heard of this tragedy. Obviously this mother was beyond desperate — beyond rational thought. I will keep her in my prayers. And know that there are so many out there that need help to deal with situations that are so taxing physically and emotionally. Very sad indeed.September 12, 2013 – 1:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Absolutely you should have posted this, and you should keep it up. You capture the tragedy of the situation – I am crying for everyone involved. Not wanting Tucker to be like Issy doesn’t make you an asshole, it makes you human. Regardless of what Kelli did, she didn’t want Issy to be violent, and I’m sure she wouldn’t want any other child to be either. It’s just so sad that she felt that her actions were a solution.September 12, 2013 – 3:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - Situations like these can never be easy. My heart breaks for the pain that any family goes through when violence is brought into the fold. It just doesn’t seem fair.
    It’s OK that you don’t know where your tears and pain is directed. Unfortunately violence is a part of our world and it is heartbreaking that Kelli had to resort to such drastic measures instead of seeking out the support that can be there.
    I think you are incredibly brave for publishing this.

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comSeptember 12, 2013 – 4:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Oh, Kristi… I just read about this a few minutes ago… it is so horrifying, and I think speaks, in part, to how much more support we need for parents and for mental health care in our country. I think any time we hear stories about parents harming their children, it is gut-wrenching, but this hits a particular nerve. Unfortunately, I don’t have great advice for you, but sending hugs and compassion your way…September 12, 2013 – 6:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth a@ rocks, no salt mommy - I wrote this for you, Kristi: http://rocksnosaltmommy.com/tearing-down-walls/September 12, 2013 – 9:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - This such a sad, sad situation in every way, and I’m not surprised you feel churned up and don’t know who you are crying for. All I can add to what’s already been written is: be kind to you. When the thoughts come that you are an asshole – well even that’s your mind trying to find a way out of the confusion. It’s not true that you’re an asshole, but when these judgements feel true and you fight it, it feels even worse. When instead you notice what’s driving that feeling you can forgive yourself.

    You have fear for Tucker’s future and that’s a normal feeling for any parent, even if their child is supposedly normal (as if there’s any such thing.) You’re human and you’re hurting, and it’s okay to cry about that.September 13, 2013 – 5:09 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa - I am speechless about the incident with Kelli and her daughter and can’t find words to address it. On the topic of anger, however, I happen to be dealing with an extremely tired and emotionally drained 4 year old this week and the incidence of hitting from her rose sharply. I am not a mom of special needs kids, but my kids still hit sometimes when they are angry. All kids do. I think it happens when the feeling is bigger than any words they can find to express it. Maybe there is even a mathematical equation to determine how much greater the anger is than the child’s access to language at the point of violence. I, too have a visceral reaction to my kid’s physically hurting someone and I can’t imagine what that poor mom must go through with a violent teenager:(. Cyber hugs to you, Kristi.September 13, 2013 – 8:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Andi-Roo (@theworld4realz) - If it’s any consolation, I’m crying, too. For you, for Kelli, for Issy, for the whole situation, for me, for all the families facing this shit. I’m glad you posted this, and I hope you don’t take it down. For those of us not fully immersed in the Autism world, this post is the only way we could have learned what happened. So even though you were afraid, thank you for your bravery. xoxoSeptember 14, 2013 – 1:36 amReplyCancel

  • Robbie - I’m glad you hit publish anyway. I learned of this through Jillsmo and my heart breaks. Wishing strength and peace to all.September 15, 2013 – 1:21 pmReplyCancel

When I first read that this week’s topic for my friend Jen’s Twisted Mixed Tape Tuesday was “Beautiful music,” I admit to being at a loss. I had no idea what beautiful music, or story, to share. I briefly toyed with finding songs in my playlist that have the word “beautiful” in their titles. But […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kathy Radigan - There is nothing like music to transport me, instantly, back in time. There are so many songs that have this power, but I have a special place in my heart for the song my husband and I had our first dance at our wedding to, Here, There and Everywhere, by the Beatles. Thanks for sparking such a great memory! Wonderful post!September 10, 2013 – 2:17 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - …not to mention that we both put our ‘putting kids to bed’ songs on our mixes. Who’s in whose head NOW, m’dear?

    I love your list, and you made me go and look up some of Nadia Comaneci’s performances just to see what you were on about! WOW! Absolutely incredible talent.

    I love the S&G track – not one I’ve come across, but hauntingly beautiful, and I’m so glad you included it so that I could discover it 🙂 The memories you have sound really precious ones – thanks for the drawing to make it real-er xSeptember 10, 2013 – 6:19 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Like I said last night to Jen there are so many songs that do truly bring me back and like you I hear them I am transported to another time and place still to this day. Some great choices by the way and always love to see what you all pick!! 🙂September 10, 2013 – 8:12 amReplyCancel

  • clark - “…transported to another time and place”

    Janine has said what I have been trying to as I make my way through these lists. The definition of a ‘beautiful’ song must surely be that!
    and your post here focuses on that that effect/definition

    …too bad I didn’t come here before putting together my post (the eternal Sunday-night-book-report-due-Monday-morning), ‘cept it was Tuesday morning and I did not have that insight.

    I kept hitting the wall of well fine exactly how the fuck beautiful do I need to think a song is to make the list that is worthwhile?*

    So I went for the obvious… focus on the word and hope for the best.

    Good Post… great tunes yo

    *yeah, that competition gene is still fairly active… part of living in the Y-Chrome dimension, I guessSeptember 10, 2013 – 8:23 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - I totally agree. It’s the memories that music evokes that are powerful, and it’s awesome that a song can take us back to a long ago time. Any song that does that is beautiful. Loved listening to some of your memories, Kristi!September 10, 2013 – 8:59 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Only you, my dear friend, could start with Fur Elise and end with Lita Ford 🙂 Love it! Oh and I totally am with you on having limited coordination skills. I love that so much more than outing my self as a closet klutz who also tried to be a cool metal head.September 10, 2013 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

  • Lance - I talk to Lita occasionally on the twitter. I can’t wait to tell her she’s in the same post with Simon and Garfunkel.

    I like what you did here. Music does do this to me, too, thank GodSeptember 10, 2013 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Music makes memories indeed…..and that is beautiful.September 10, 2013 – 9:55 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Scarlet told me in the car last week to put on some, “beautiful music with no words but has violins and maybe cymbals in it.” Oddly specific, right?
    We sang “Sounds of Silence” in Hebrew school and had a weird project where we had to write our own lyrics to it. I don’t know why?? Obviously they were horrible and we were just kids writing about our relatives who died in the Holocaust. And since I was a bit of a poet..well…yeah. Let’s not go there.
    I remember the first time I heard Pachelbel’s “Canon in D.” I am sure I had heard it tons of times but this was the first time I really “heard” it. I was 14.
    Sure enough I had to walk down the aisle to it, even though we had a rock and roll wedding at every other stop. It was just me. I had to do it.September 10, 2013 – 10:15 amReplyCancel

  • troy P. - Of all of your posts that I’ve loved, this is the one that I’ve loved the bestest so far. Yur first paragraph alone had me entrhalled, and then you had to make with the waterworks by including “Sounds of Silence.” Beautifully done, dear.

    And yeah, I get that that was the whole point this week…! =)September 10, 2013 – 12:42 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - You know Damien Rice used to be on my radar, but I had completely forgot about him.
    I want to do this list over. I WANT A DO OVER!
    This is awesome! I totally copped out this week and I am sorry now that I have heard so many AWESOME mixes like this one.
    I know I hate to be sad, but this mix is awesome…
    And anyway, Sound of Silence doesn’t make me sad.
    You rocked it this week sister!September 10, 2013 – 2:15 pmReplyCancel

  • MJM - I can’t really say our musical taste are the same, or even close for that matter, but I loved reading about your memories.September 10, 2013 – 2:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Quick Stepp- Melissa - Great list! That damn Damien Rice songs….
    Loved the Sound of Silence story!September 10, 2013 – 3:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Oh, how I love the Blower’s Daughter. Have I told you that before? Maybe. Also, That Iz version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow was our wedding song. I walked down the beach to it. Izzy calls it “her song” because she threw the flower petals before I walked down. OK, I’m misty. Sniff. I love nostalgia.September 10, 2013 – 4:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Fur Elise reminds me of so many things. It is very beautiful. Listening to classical piano has always made me wish I could play the piano. Never mind that I had the opportunity to learn but cried through all my lessons. Love that version of What a Wonderful World – seems like I heard a Twinkle Twinkle little star beat in there. So sweet that’s it’s Tucker’s night night song.

    I have’t read The Secret Life of Bee’s. I saw the movie and if I remember correctly there were some holes in it. I didn’t know it was a book. That explains it. Now I am definitely putting that on my reading list.

    I guess it’s better than having the gummy bear song stuck in your head but here I go…..Hello darkness my old friend……September 10, 2013 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Beautiful writing about beautiful music. Your words always, always move and you always seem to connect so perfectly with your own past and present emotions as well as make your reader connect with their own. Reading this caused a mini storm in my head. Memories of listening to classical music with my mom, memories of listening to it with my son and watching him have the exact same reaction you’ve described (moved to tears by Fur Elise). LOVED. MOVED.September 10, 2013 – 8:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Tracy@CrazyAsNormal - I am running out of witty responses. But I did want to say “DAMIEN RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”September 10, 2013 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Kari - YAY! You put Iz’s song on your list! I thought about it hindsight…such a great song! It was played at my niece’s memorial service, so it will forever make me think of her.

    Great list!September 10, 2013 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Beautiful Day Mama - That really is one of the best qualities of music isn’t it – the ability to transport us back in time and allow us to tap into the feelings we experienced in the past.

    Your story about Beethoven’s Fur Elise reminds me of my memory of the first time I ever truly listened to Vivaldi’s Spring. Its impossible to describe, but it takes me back to a moment when I felt pure bliss in my heart.September 10, 2013 – 11:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Slu - I am so blown away by both your story (memories) as well as your music. You had me at: “When I first read…”

    Sweet, SluSeptember 11, 2013 – 6:06 amReplyCancel

  • JDaniel4's Mom - I remember hearing Nadia’s music too. It seemed to fit her perfectlySeptember 11, 2013 – 11:37 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Love so many of these! For some reason lately Love Shack has been playing over and over again in my mind…it was played nonstop one Thanksgiving weekend that I went up to Steamboat with a bunch of college friends. I don’t think anyone skiied, but we had a really good time. I think we had like 20 people packed in a two bedroom condo. Why these people rented to us year after year, I do not know.September 11, 2013 – 11:58 amReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - I agree, beautiful music is powerful – enough so to take you back in time.
    And love The Sound of Silence! Hello, darkness, my old friend…September 11, 2013 – 12:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Oh I love Nadia too. My son’s friend’s mom is a Nadia and I just want to roll my face in hers. She’s a dark skinned middle eastern woman with gorgeous hair…sigh…look at me with a girl crush.
    I love that you went this way with the suggested topic. I think all music is beautiful if it means something to you. Like if it reaches right down into those cracks of your heart.
    For me, anything from Barenaked Ladies. Good times in grade school.September 11, 2013 – 2:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda - Oh I dig Damien Rice. A friend of mine in Britain sent me one of his CDs and he’s great. Izzy was the ukelele God, so that is a wonderful choice. And Simon & Garfunkel…sheer beauty. The lilting falsetto of the incomparable Art Garfunkel. Yes.September 11, 2013 – 8:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - My mom used to play Fur Elise on the piano when I was little. It’s literally my favorite memory of her. I don’t play piano, but I taught myself how to play it. And, YES, I remember Nadia and the 76 Olympics. Thank you for taking me back to such lovely memories!September 11, 2013 – 8:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Donetta - I almost put a Pink Floyd song on my list. I love ‘If I Close My Eyes Forever’. Great list. It is awesome when music can transport us back to a beautiful memory or feeling. I suppose even the ones that gives reminds us of unpleasant times, at least they make us feel something. Many broken hearts have had to heal while playing ‘that certain’ song on repeat. 🙂September 11, 2013 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - This is so very true! I love how music can just bring you right back to a memory and produce so much feeling inside of you. Awesome song choices (I love Simon and Garfunkel!), and beautiful post! 🙂September 12, 2013 – 1:28 amReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land post is brought to you by one of my In Real Life friends. Getting to know her and her son Michael this past year has been such a joy. Such a relief. Being able to have play dates with people who not only get Tucker, but love him for who he is […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kathy Radigan - Beautiful story!!!! I am always amazed at how kids react to my daughter who has a brain disorder that still has not diagnosis and had a very hard time communicating. I always feared children would be mean to my daughter and I have to say that those fears have really be unfounded. I do always expect a rude or harsh comment though. I’m so glad your son made a friend!September 4, 2013 – 9:44 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Beautiful story…it’s amazing (and reassuring) that children can show as much empathy, if not more, than adults.September 4, 2013 – 9:48 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing this.September 4, 2013 – 10:11 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Love this story. I definitely didn’t see that coming. I dreaded with anticipation what Abe was going to say next. Love it that he blew your mind into a happy daze. Thanks for sharing this story Kristi and IRL friend.September 4, 2013 – 10:34 amReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - What a cool story. Kids will ask questions and we sometimes pucker our buttholes wondering where this is going, but I’ve found that most kids up to a certain age are just curious to learn about “different” people and have no intention of judging or demeaning (not on purpose anyway). My four year old recently had a heck of a good time chatting with a man who’d lost his arm at the elbow. When he first said something I was all, oh god, don’t embarrass me too much but he said “that man has no arm but he’s using a computer, how cool!” The man was very nice and gracious enough to engage my boy and let him explore his stump, as he called it.

    I’m sorry you have to be real life friends with Ninee so your kids can play since she seems like a real pill, but you’re a wonderful parent to make such a sacrifice.September 4, 2013 – 10:45 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - What a wonderful story! Sometimes kids can be afraid of and shun someone who is different, but many can be so much more open-minded than adults. I think exposure and education help, and like in Abe’s case, shared experience. I’m so glad you were able to meet him and that it helped you so much. I can see why his grandfather is so very proud of him. 🙂September 4, 2013 – 10:53 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - The world does really need more moments like these. Abe sounded like a wonderful little boy, who truly got the meaning of seeing past what is on the outside and seeing the truly unique and awesome little boy that your son is. thank you for sharing your story here and does give such hope that there is still so much good out there.September 4, 2013 – 10:57 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kathy,
    I love that other kids have been so accepting of your daughter! YAY for awesome kids who just accept. And I’m so glad our sons are friends, too.
    —
    Emily,
    So often kids are just better than adults. In a billion ways, I think.
    —
    Yvonne,
    Thank you so much.
    —
    Kenya,
    I’m so glad that Abe blew my friend’s mind, too! Awesome!
    —
    Don,
    That’s cool that your kid found a guy who allowed him to realize that so much is possible no matter what our differences are. Seriously awesome. And thanks for the great endorsement on how awesome I am to hang out with. The things we do for our kids, huh?
    —
    Jessica,
    Me too! Yes, exactly to what you said!
    —
    Janine,
    You’re right. Abe does give so much hope that there is tons of greatness out there.
    —September 4, 2013 – 11:05 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - What a fantastic story! I definitely hope my kids would be like Abe – accepting and helpful. In fact, I wish everyone would be a lot more like Abe. Sometimes, we learn the greatest lessons from the smallest people! 🙂 Thanks you for sharing~September 4, 2013 – 11:12 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
    Agreed! Let’s all be more like Abe!September 4, 2013 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - Oh how precious those moments are! Thank you for sharing your moment with Abe that will long be remembered. I wonder too if that may be part of the Grandpa pride, seeing how hard he’s worked to get where he is.

    Love your land, thank you. <3September 4, 2013 – 12:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - I have CHILLS. I’m not kidding. Actual goosebumps. What a really, really great story. In actuality and in “writing” – you led us down a path we thought we knew, but then… no.

    I love how open kids are. When do we beat that out of them, you know?

    Also, I loved this line: “I can see talent in others and appreciate it, genuinely appreciate it” – good on you. Your son will learn that from you… kids pick up on the little things.September 4, 2013 – 12:49 pmReplyCancel

  • SocialButterflyMom - I’m with Deb. I thought I knew where this was going, and then was pleasantly surprised 🙂September 4, 2013 – 3:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - What an amazing little guy ‘Abe’ is – I hope he never loses that. I’m so glad it worked out well for Michael and your friend, and that this post was shared. It’s a gorgeous inclusion to Our Land, and the pic of Michael and Tucker playing is super 🙂September 4, 2013 – 4:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I love hearing stories like this! May both Michael and Tucker meet many more kids like Abe, and may Abe stay as open, friendly, and accepting of people who are different, not less. Thanks for sharing, Kristi’s IRL friend!September 4, 2013 – 5:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I am trying to get past my jealousy that you get to hang with the ultra cool Kristi in real life.

    Okay, I’m over it. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I swear it is the acceptance of our children’s peers that really make our day.September 4, 2013 – 7:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Lucky you – to get to know Kristi in real life! I always tell her that if I knew her in real life, I’d still talk to her on twitter.
    I love this story and I wasn’t expecting the end. Oh “Abe” – you are a cool kid, aren’t you?
    I actually know quite a bit about echolalia as it used to be in my life. And it is hard to explain sometimes. My ex-boyfriend has Tourette Syndrome and echolalia is one of his biggest symptoms. I became ear-trained to know in advance what might upset him and I’d try to avoid it. He was a grown man and could take care of himself very well in that department so avoiding sounds may have been overkill. It was just something I did.September 4, 2013 – 9:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Wow, that was so beautiful! The interaction between you and the two boys at the end gave me chills. I was worried this post would end with a demonstration of the innate cruelty children can possess, but instead it ended with a display of children’s innate goodness, empathy, and love. So thrilled that you joined the Our Land series!September 4, 2013 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • K - OMG. I just got chills from that last part. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is exactly what I needed to read today.September 5, 2013 – 1:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Wow, kids have a wisdom that we lose somehow. This story reminds me to be like them more often. What a story of grace. Thank you. And I loved the Temple Grandin quote. So simple, so true, and so beautiful.September 5, 2013 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Joell @ Red Van Ramblings - Love this! We have SO BEEN THERE! And this –> “one of the things I have learned along our way is that good things can show up out of the blue, and when they do, it is important to hold on to them.” YES!! Love it! With our son, who has Asperger’s, and who is now 18, we have always celebrated everything…all the things that just sort of happened to other kids without really trying…for example, tying shoes, riding a bike, having a conversation with someone, remaining in a loud restaurant without bolting, remembering on his own to turn in his homework. The kindnesses of others…The knowing looks of other autism or special needs mommies…We celebrate them, and hold on to them. 🙂 Beautiful post!September 6, 2013 – 1:34 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - If only more children would be like Abe! How wonderful that he is so accepting and understanding of others. 🙂 I am so happy that your IRL friend joined you today. And I am envious of someone who gets to hang out with Kristi and Tucker in the real world! 😀September 6, 2013 – 10:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - This is such an amazing heartwarming story. I kept wondering where it was going, so happy it went there.
    My son has Sensory Processing Disorder which creates behavior that is also surprising to some kids, and I feel badly for worrying what will happen each time he makes a new friend at the park.
    This is an interaction to hold dear, and I will not assume things will go badly, I will think of this.September 8, 2013 – 12:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - This is so beautiful. I’m crying. I really am. That child has a heart that is gold and open and accepting and only 6 years old.
    God I needed to read this.September 11, 2013 – 2:34 pmReplyCancel

I read Jen’s memo that today’s Twisted Mixed Tape Tuesday theme is The Best Of. While I’m pretty sure she means that we’re supposed to choose a group and showcase their “best of’s,” you guys know that’s impossible for me. It’d be like saying “you are my forever favorite” to somebody besides Tucker. I mean, […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kerri - Holy crap you make me laugh. The first thing I thought when I saw your title was, how Kristi can get her post to be the most retweeted on Twitter 🙂 When I got to the Kings of Leon I had the same FREAKING thought. He gave some woman an STD and now her sex is on fire.

    But best song for sex? The Doors: Come on baby light my fire!!!September 3, 2013 – 10:03 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerri,
    Hey I didn’t even think about the Twitter aspect. Cool side effect! Great minds when it comes to STDs, right?
    Oh and yeah, come on baby light my fire is AWESOME.
    —September 3, 2013 – 10:13 amReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Hahahaha!! Hilarious! “My sex is on fire…” I like your take on the prompt Kristi! Bringing sexy to Twisted Mixtape!September 3, 2013 – 11:43 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Seriously, I have enjoyed all the best of links this week, but yours by far took the cake and then some!! And couldn’t help, but smile going through your list, but if I was to do a best of sex list, I still couldn’t forget “I wanna sex you up”, but Color Me Bad. Sorry, but just such a classic to me and had to add to your already awesome list!! 🙂September 3, 2013 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Zed. Oh. Em. Gee! The drawings 🙂 You always get me at the drawings 😀

    Loved it.September 3, 2013 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - “well…up until this Post, I didn’t”

    lol

    I like the blogosphere ’cause I get to hang with people like you, KristiSeptember 3, 2013 – 1:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Dani Ryan - MARCY PLAYGROUND! I haven’t heard that tune in YEARS!!! I’m totally firing it up on my iPod tonight…when my husband gets home, of course. 😉 HA!September 3, 2013 – 3:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Linda,
    Bringing either sexy or “uh oh!” to it!
    —
    Janine,
    Aw thanks, you. I forgot about “I wanna sex you up” – ugh what an earworm. 😉
    —
    Considerer,
    Yay.
    —
    Clark,
    You’re welcome for the new take on the song. And AW! I get to hang out with people like you, too! A win for me!
    —
    Dani,
    I smell sex and candy!
    —September 3, 2013 – 3:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I’m right. This is brilliant, like I said it would be. I’m having trouble typing because..well..I can’t stop giggling. That’s it. I’m not laughing. I’m not cracking up. I’m giggling to myself like a madwoman over the Casey Kasem bit.

    Consider that the “Best of” this sad, sordid day. At least my sex isn’t on fire. Whew. Maybe tomorrow.September 3, 2013 – 4:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - Bahaha … I adore A Perfect Circle. Think I’m needing to add them back into my playlist again.
    The Marcy Playground song was SO played out when it first came on the scene that it lost it’s appeal to me .. though I will say I still know the words and will rock a good solo if needed 🙂

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comSeptember 3, 2013 – 6:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Lance - L O L

    This was like disco lemonadeSeptember 3, 2013 – 6:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I barely read the rest of your post because I was laughing too hard over Casey Kasem. Who knew he could curse like a sailor? And maybe I’m weird, but the FIRST thing I thought of when I heard Sex on Fire was very similar to your second drawing. My mind just went there; I can’t help it.September 3, 2013 – 8:42 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - Dude! What the hell is wrong with you? You are like a one woman funny farm! I’m sending the twinkie van over to your house to pick you up!September 3, 2013 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Slu - Hey Yo… I love coming around your place on Tuesday’s because I know I’m gonna be rewarded with a huge smile, a good read, and some good music. Never disappointed.

    Thanks, SluSeptember 3, 2013 – 9:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Darla @ Moms World - I loved this! You followed the theme enough and One is definitely one of Metallica’s best songs…and The Noose! Yes! One of my favorite A Perfect Circle songs (aside from their remake of Imagine!) 🙂September 3, 2013 – 9:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Kari - You are such a rule-breaker!! lol… Here I am trying so hard to stay inside the lines…I didn’t know I could break the rules! 😉

    Anyway, funny stuff here… and I LOVE that Kings of Leon song!September 3, 2013 – 10:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Oh my, I didn’t even think of the other reasons the sex might be on fire…September 3, 2013 – 10:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Oh wow……I think we’d all think twice before doing it now. ;pSeptember 3, 2013 – 11:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - You may have just ruined that song for me forever. But it’s okay. I’ll forgive you because you’re so funny. But I will always think of STDs now when I hear it. And I LOVE that Marcy Playground song. Love it. Flashing back… NOW!September 3, 2013 – 11:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - It could be gonorrhea. I’m not saying that I know what that is because I’m clean.
    Except on Sundays because I’m a honey badger on Sundays…I don’t give a shit about showering. It’s my hygiene off day.
    I lurve fun and yes, I hate it when videos make absolutely no sense…or the song means something totally different than I had interpreted to be.
    When I think of sex, my head goes back to that song “Let’s talk about sex”September 4, 2013 – 2:46 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - BA HA HA! My sex is on fire cuz I got an std… Damn you Kristi Campbell! I’ll never hear that song again without laughing!September 4, 2013 – 8:55 amReplyCancel

  • troy P. - Awesome idea! But you forgot the obvious choice for this one – as noted by Clark on his page – “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring…!”September 4, 2013 – 2:29 pmReplyCancel

  • catherine gacad - OMG that Casey Kasem clip had me cracking up!September 9, 2013 – 8:28 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - LOL…howling laughing at “Have you ever heard of Casey Kasem?” I grew up with him on the radio! And I will qualify that this sailor has been out to sea way too long but I have never ever thought of a sex song when I’m in bed with a girl. I’m soooo focused on her and any dialogue, sounds, breathing, touching that I wouldn’t want music to even remotely detract from that! Maybe I’ve been missing out with the sex music? I don’t think so but sure up to trying new things! Ok…gotta have sex first, huh? LOL 🙂February 20, 2014 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

Somehow, someway, September came. What once loomed and doomed with too-far-awayness is suddenly here. And with that realization, I feel the need to write a farewell letter to Summer. You see, I wasn’t very nice during certain moments to Summer and I feel that I owe her an apology. Dear Summer, Back in June, I […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Emily - I love your whole list, but especially #2 — I know the absolute joy in seeing your child bond with a peer, especially when you worry about that happening. When I dropped my teenage son off at sleepaway camp this past summer. I watched a group of girls RUN to say hello to him.And they HUGGED him! I never thought I’d witness something like that, and while some parents might not be so happy about 10 girls (in bikinis no less) surrounding their son — I was thrilled. I was equally thrilled when one of his bunkmates came over to greet him with a huge smile. Nothing beats that in my book.September 1, 2013 – 6:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - That’s truly been a summer of wonderfulness, and I love this so much, most of all how you learned that it can all come out alright in the end, and yes, it was effort, but you got through it and got everything (mostly) done. The important things – the Big Boy Bed, the First Friend, the time you spent with him – they were done and done well 🙂 The sitter sounds like a wonderful person to look after T while you attend to the unavoidables and the inevitables – a good find, chosen carefully.

    Props to Robert for letting you sleep in so you could get Done with Things. You’ve kept up admirably, and I have massive respect for the part he played in this.

    Summer is my absolute favourite season. The warmth, the sunshine, the light evenings and long, lazy days. The sparkle of waves at the beach, the neon of light through tree canopies, the way everyone shrugs off their worries as the sleeves get shorter. The bright colours of summer clothes, the scent of suncream, the optimism and hope which pervades everyone’s spirit while the skies are blue and the air is hot and scented with baking earth…

    …but the nights are drawing in and already the air has begun to cool. The dark begins to creep up ever closer to those precious hours of daylight, shortening the time spent outside with friends, bringing gloom and a feeling of impending dankness. Before long the brightness of summer will moulder into browns and oranges, shining ugly beneath slick drizzle and glaring streetlights as the warmer clothes get pulled down from the top shelf and the cold tightens its grip.

    I mourn the loss of summer and have little excitement for the bone-creeping damp and that clutching chill which not even the beauty of frost or the promise of snow’s novelty can dispel.September 1, 2013 – 6:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - I get a little depressed and mournful during those in-between weeks when school has already started but summer isn’t completely over. I think about how quickly time is slipping away when we are starting yet another school year.

    But fortunately, once the crisper fall weather begins and the leaves start to change, I round a corner and my sadness turns to excitement. I love the fall. It makes up for sweltering hot summer days and icy cold winter ones.

    The Big Boy bed is, indeed, worth at least 5 thankfuls, as is the real friend!September 1, 2013 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi - Summer’s end brings the promise of cooler weather, for which I am grateful. It also brings the return of a school schedule, which is a mixed blessing. I choose to focus on the positive, but an honest answer to your question would be “both.”September 1, 2013 – 6:48 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - what an excellent Post.

    to do many things in a post is not so hard, mostly punctuation. to convey a feeling in a Post is much more difficult (for many of us) but not amazing.

    this post is amazing in the different feelings, insights, appreciations and fears and concerns you have invited us Readers to ‘witness’* a part of your life.

    what the hell! lol

    I won’t say that your writing provides me with an example of a goal to achieve or a level of skill to strive for… that is too remote. however, that I can identify with you in your Post gives me something that I did not have and that gives me hope.

    cool

    * in a non ceremonial or otherwise sense, meant to convey that I have had a glimpse into another’s life, the degree of that glimpse is a function of my capacity to empathize.September 1, 2013 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Oh you already know how sad I am that summer is coming to an end and how my whole post pretty much dealt with thos feeling. So trust me you are preaching to thechoir on this. But so happy that Tucker did do so well last night and know from our tweets how worried you were. So seriously hearing he did so well put a huge smile on my face tonight. Here is to summer ending slowly though and bit more time before it is completely gone (at least I think this is better then blinking and it being December).September 1, 2013 – 7:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - So poignant, Kristi! Why does this always seem to be the way that it goes? Wishing our lives away, only to feel like we didn’t do enough with the time that we had! I’m glad you wrote this list. When you start to feel like you needed more time, go back and read it again. You had a fulfilling, beautiful summer!!September 1, 2013 – 7:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalia Frost - What a beautiful post!!! =)
    I am so happy for Tucker having a friend!!! Great job on the transition from baby bed to big boy bed.September 1, 2013 – 7:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Such a sweet post, Kristi. Sounds like you and Tucker had a wonderful summer!September 1, 2013 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - This is sweet. Yes, we often don’t see the gifts until they are gone. Summer with autism is tough, but it also can be fun! Glad you found the fun! Sounds like a great summer for you!!September 1, 2013 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - No, no, no. We see the numbers 1-5 listed in ascending order.
    What we read, Kristi, amounts to much more than 1+1+1+1+1.
    This was a lovely post. Thank you for sharing your 5X __ TToT =DSeptember 2, 2013 – 6:59 amReplyCancel

  • jhanis - what a lovely post. I miss summer so much and next time it comes around i will be better prepared with a list of dun things to do with the kids.September 2, 2013 – 9:16 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Mostly shaved armpits. That sounds about right. Accidentally or not, I’m glad it all happened for you and I think you’re showing an awful lot of appreciation and memory. To fall. It will be its own special being. Summer will forgive you. Summer is so forgiving.September 2, 2013 – 12:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - Kristi, I loved this post. It has been such a magical summer in so many ways, and I am already sad it’s come to an end. You’re so right, some of the best moments, you don’t even realize have happened, until they have happened! But even though it’s coming to an end, we still have the wonderful memories.
    (Love Tucker’s big boy bed too) 🙂September 2, 2013 – 3:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Josie Two Shoes - This was a good summer for you and for Tucker, especially! Those are blessings far too big to count with numbers, they will count for the rest of his life!!!September 2, 2013 – 5:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - This is such a perfect Ten Things Thankful post! It so perfectly reflects my own hopes and fears as the time is approaching for me to start looking for work. It was very comforting and heartwarming and I am thankful for that. I am waiting for Ben to make a friend. I’m so happy Tucker did!September 2, 2013 – 6:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Joell @ Red Van Ramblings - LOVE! Love! Love! Tucker has a FRIEND? AND a Sitter that he loves and that you love and trust to love on your baby?? Totally counts as 10, apiece!! YAY! That is awesome and the stuff of HOPE for more friends and more people who will love your baby like you do! Not much is more precious than that right there!

    Hope Fall is as magical as Summer was!September 2, 2013 – 7:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Lanaya | Raising Reagan - I’m sure that Summer appreciated the apologies 🙂
    Fall is going to be amazing – Tucker is amazing and you are an amazing mama.
    At least you put all the knives away after transitioning Tucker to his big boy bed right??

    Hugs to you my friend 🙂

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    Raising-Reagan.comSeptember 2, 2013 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
    OMG I LOVE that the bikini girls were circling your son. YES. I want that, too! (please?)
    So so so awesome.
    —
    Considerer,
    Wow, what an epic comment. Thank you. I, too, mourn the loss of summer but do actually get excited about fall days – the cooler evenings, the leaves (which are amazing here), the school, the feel of new beginnings… while fall is traditionally the winding down of the year on the calendar, when it comes to school, it’s fresh starts and new pencils and awesomeness. Hugs to you. Go to a tanning salon (which we talked about on IM). 🙂
    —
    Dyanne,
    YES, I love the fall too. But sometimes, when I have to say goodbye, I love summer more.
    —September 2, 2013 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kristi,
    Yes, the new schedule is definitely a mixed blessing. But it’s sad to say goodbye to summer. Sob.
    —
    Clark,
    I thank you for witnessing my life and for allowing me to do the same in yours. For real, dude. Totally.
    —
    Janine,
    The problem is that we WILL BLINK and it WILL BE December! Yikes!!!
    —
    Rachel,
    I did, indeed. And thank you, my friend.
    —
    Natalia,
    Thanks, so much. Huge, thanks.
    —September 2, 2013 – 11:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Aw, first friend. That is enough to make any mom cry. We all want our children to fit in, be well adjusted. Right???

    xoSeptember 3, 2013 – 12:03 amReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Like so many of your posts, Kristi, I love this. Such a good reminder to be. here. now.

    And I’m feeling a little inspired by your asking for forgiveness. I would have to ask every single winter of my life for forgiveness for having mean thoughts about it.

    Cute pix of your son and his friend.September 3, 2013 – 3:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Just beautiful, Kristi! I am so glad summer ended up being really good for you. I know all about the “I Can’t Do Its” and I don’t have half the pressures that you do. I’m so glad everything worked out for you. 🙂September 4, 2013 – 1:32 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I’m late getting to this. I did start a comment a few days ago, but then someone distracted me or something. But I did want to say I found it a very interesting angle – I’d never thought of writing to Summer! I’m glad your fears about summer were unfounded and you enjoyed it! I can remember thinking I might not be able to cope when my kids were little, but we got through, and had fun. It is good to have a break now and then though, so your sitter sounds like a good idea. So great that Tucker has made a friend too.

    I always feel a bit sad when the school holidays, even though my girls are 15 and 14! (Yes, even teenagers can be enjoyable.) Summer has always been my favourite season, partly because it’s the only season that’s truly warm in Scotland, but mainly because I love the long light days we get and winter is so-o dark. As summer ends I have to keep reminding myself to enjoy the moment and not get caught up in thinking about the miserable dark mornings from November to February! 🙂 I definitely think birds have the right idea.September 4, 2013 – 6:58 amReplyCancel

  • catherine gacad - summer is just starting in san francisco. september and october are always the best months. ironically i am heading to nyc later on this week, so i hope to be spoiled with good weather there and back home.September 4, 2013 – 5:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Cyndi - Aww, when summer leaves, I don’t like it so much: the heat, the sun and the fun times outside. 🙂 I suppose it doesn’t have to stop, does it? Just bundle up a little more?
    How special that Tucker has a friend. You are such a gem and this whole blog post is really about what an amazing mom you are, how Tucker’s best interests are always at the forefront of your mind, that you acknowledge the need to care for yourself a bit, too, even if they are “accidents” in occurrence. You’re freaking awesome.
    Thank you for visiting my blog last Saturday – I’m only now getting to my comments – thank you so much for your sweet words. 🙂September 11, 2013 – 9:04 amReplyCancel

  • Jak - Evening Kristi,
    –
    Sorry I’m so late*
    –
    I didn’t see a post for TToT between this post and this current weekend, but yours are sometimes a bit camouflaged with fancy titles outside the standard TToT titles. I will double check!
    –
    This was a great post, and a touching end to a Summer that seemed to turn out a lot better than you had originally anticipated. I will be keeping tabs as next year rolls around to possibly remind you that you promised not to condemn it 🙂
    –
    It’s awesome Tucker has a True Friend, and that the mere mention of their name is enough to change Tucker’s mind from doing nothing to engaging and socializing. That’s truly amazing and I hope they don’t drift apart like the other friend you mentioned (whom I hope you found some time for).
    –
    Also, it’s a relief there weren’t any transition woes. I know change can be difficult, but it sounds like all went smoothly and he really enjoyed/embraced it!
    –
    *I’m a firm believer of “better late than never” philosophy.
    –
    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkSeptember 14, 2013 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

Hi Friends!  Today, I’m pleased to welcome Anita Sullivan of Losing Austin, Finding Myself. Anita is a talented writer who shares inspiration, wisdom, occasional sadness and everyday funny moments spent with her two boys, her husband and her community. She also blogs about losing her brother Austin, who went missing in 2007. She and her […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Undiagnosed but okay - Kristi, you said it best. I have CHILLS on my arms right now. But at the line of In our land, you’d understand that whatever we tell you is only the tip of the iceberg, and there is so much more to our troubling story.

    It is so true. What we share, on our blogs or to our friends or GASP to our loved ones is only the miniscule tip of our personal iceberg. And it is always what is hiding underneath the water that brings us to a shuddering halt.

    Anita, you are so correct. We have to stop asking/wanting the story and just say, Hey I know you are doing your best.

    Awesome contribution to Our Land.August 28, 2013 – 9:54 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I, too, love Anita’s land and must say I think we all need to judge less and just be more understanding that others have their own issues in life to deal with. I can’t even imagine having a sick husband, nor do I want to, but still god bless Anita and all she goes through to get by. That totally counts for so much and then some in my book!August 28, 2013 – 9:54 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I am in awe of the grace with which you are handling the challenges in your life. I find it is so hard not to compare yourself to an impossible ideal. Daily life somehow seems to make me feel more like a messy human being instead of a picture in a catalog. But…you are right. I am doing my best. Thank you for that reminder!August 28, 2013 – 10:44 amReplyCancel

  • Ariana - Beautifully written and powerful reminder that all of us are doing the best that we can right now. There are no measuring sticks that could ever accurately display the depth of a person or family.August 28, 2013 – 10:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Wow – always some new take away from the Our Land series. Today it’s “we don’t have to know someone’s story before we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are doing their best.”

    Thank you Anita.August 28, 2013 – 10:54 amReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - Wow. Timely post for my own self. Unfortunately, it seems more and more people “have a story”. Funny thing is you never know who those people are because there is no identifying quality. They’re with us every day walking among us, working with us, neighbors passing by…

    “But I dream of a land where we don’t have to know someone’s story before we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are doing their best. In Our Land, we offer a heartfelt smile and a kind word, knowing they may just need that small gesture to take their next steps of the day.”

    I’m with you on that one Anita. All the way:)August 28, 2013 – 11:12 amReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - Your comments are giving me more encouragement than you can ever know and more than you can ever know I needed today.

    Thank you for being part of the Land where all this is true.

    <3August 28, 2013 – 11:29 amReplyCancel

  • K - This is so, so beautiful. I love the message that you conveyed and OMG I just wish that everyone could read this because our world would be a much better place if we all just realized that people and their situations aren’t always as they seem. Thank you.August 28, 2013 – 11:52 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Anita, this is lovely, and something I’m all too guilty of – I’m not good at giving the benefit of the doubt, and I should work on this. You have inspired me to remember that everyone has a story, and I really don’t know what it is most of the time.

    It’s kindest to assume that people are doing their best, and being kind is so important.

    Take good care and I hope your husband’s illness lets up soon. Awesome to see you in Our Land.August 28, 2013 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Roshni - So true, Anita! I wish people would realize that they cannot assume anything about someone in the span of 140 characters or a Facebook photo!August 28, 2013 – 1:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - Oh, wow. Really beautiful, Anita. You are doing amazing.August 28, 2013 – 1:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Anita, this is SUCH an amazing post and Kristi, thank you so much for sharing Anita’s post and for this series which just keeps getting better and better!

    One of the things most important principles to me in life is to try not to judge and to try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, that is why I felt so connected to this wonderful post. I think that in everyday life as well as in the blogosphere or in social media we encounter so much unestablished and unjustified judgement that it is so refreshing and important to read posts like yours.August 28, 2013 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

  • that cynking feeling - Anita definitely did her best on this post.August 28, 2013 – 1:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - This is so, so true and so beautifully written, Anita. I can’t believe you manage to do so much despite all the obstacles life has thrown your way. You are amazing! The judgement-makers would probably feel so stupid if they only knew… if only they took time to know or even to imagine. Great post.August 28, 2013 – 4:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Definitely got goosebumps – this was something everyone should read, Anita. I love when bloggers I know contribute here; they often surprise and touch me. You did both today. I will join you in Your Land!August 28, 2013 – 7:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Joell @ Red Van Ramblings - I learned a long time ago (the hard way!), that you must look at everyone with eyes that say, “You never know where people are coming from or what they are going through.” And just love them where they are at. Very touching and beautiful post! So glad I found this series!August 28, 2013 – 8:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - There’s a saying that everyone is struggling with something and the fact is we may never know about those struggles. Some of them may be big and some may be small – we just don’t know. I try really hard to remember that before I jump to judgment and conclusion, but I don’t always succeed. Thanks so much for this beautifully written reminder!August 28, 2013 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Chills, yes. I love your description of “our land.” I can almost see it.August 28, 2013 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - Never judge a book by its cover-that’s what I was always told as a kid! Our land would be a wonderful place, if it only existed outside of “blogland”. 🙂August 29, 2013 – 12:02 amReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - Yes! to “But I dream of a land where we don’t have to know someone’s story before we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are doing their best.”
    I totally agree with you there. People make so many assumptions in the 5 seconds they are looking at you.
    How about just assuming you’re awesome?!
    Thank you so much!!!August 29, 2013 – 5:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - I love your honesty, Anita, and you are absolutely right. None of us has any idea what is going on in another family’s life, and in Our Land we would all give each other the benefit of the doubt and support one another. You sound like an amazing, strong woman with a fantastic family.August 29, 2013 – 11:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - I LOVE this line: “But I dream of a land where we don’t have to know someone’s story before we give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are doing their best. In Our Land, we offer a heartfelt smile and a kind word, knowing they may just need that small gesture to take their next steps of the day.”

    There is so much more to a person than what we see…. I wish we would always just assume the best of people. It reminds me of the meaning of Namaste – the light in me honors the light in you. Would love it if we all did that. Beautiful post.August 30, 2013 – 9:00 amReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - This is so very awesome! It is exactly what I am trying to live and teach my kids. My husband is chronically ill too. I am visually impaired. There is SO much I don’t always want to have to explain to someone. It would be so much easier to be given the benefit of the doubt, as I try to give to others.September 2, 2013 – 5:45 pmReplyCancel

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