Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Please don’t tell me that my child will catch up.   He won’t catch up. He will make incredible strides, and will work hard, as will his friend who is only now taking tentative steps using a walker. She’s six. These kids of ours will work to accomplish goals that include eating, making eye contact […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Joy - Yes, yes and yes! Truer words were never spoken!July 24, 2013 – 10:23 amReplyCancel

  • Blair Francis - Amen!July 24, 2013 – 10:33 amReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Beautiful. And, dare I say, true of everyone in a way? Our differences make the world go ’round.July 24, 2013 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Said beautifully and perfectly. Thank you for sharing this here and seriously I don’t think any of us could have said it better!!July 24, 2013 – 10:38 amReplyCancel

  • Ariana - Very touching, and very true. People don’t know how to react to different. What they see is hardship, and a situation they hope to never experience, so they fumble for words until they find something they hope works. I’ve been guilty, I’m sure. Thank you for the reminder.July 24, 2013 – 10:40 amReplyCancel

  • Diane - My Mom always said there have to be many different flowers in the garden to make it truly beautiful. And our world and our flowers ARE beautiful!July 24, 2013 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh I remember hearing those words way back when and how I hated when people said that to me…I always took offense to it because my feeling was, what the heck did they know? Were they a developmental specialist? Did they even know what they were talking about? No, they didn’t. And again, most recently in these past few harrowing weeks, I am receiving comments like that again. Comments such as, “good thing they caught it early.” (How did this idiot woman know they caught it early? I never told her any details, but she just went ahead and assumed that, because she didn’t know what to say and was trying to make me feel better. Turns out, it didn’t spread, but still….) And we receive the all-encompassing “he will be fine.” I get it – people are trying to reassure us, and in my heart, I do believe that, but to hear it from someone who does not know ANYTHING about what we are dealing with, well, it just comes across as so condescending and annoying. So, my dear, I could not resist commenting today, because I so get this and I so get you too. 🙂July 24, 2013 – 12:35 pmReplyCancel

  • K - Love, love, love this. Just when I think I can’t possibly love your blog any more than I already do, somehow it happens…This is beautiful. I’m at a loss for words, so I’ll just leave it at that. Beautiful.

    Thank you.July 24, 2013 – 1:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - I love how everyone always knows our kids better than we do. Why they feel they need to blame the disability on something we are not doing is beyond my comprehension. In our case, I don’t speak or think positive healing thoughts and prayers enough. I’m cursing my daughter with her disability apparently. Anyway, great post and I’ll check out your post at Ellen’s! Maybe I’ll even get a FTSF post done this week!July 24, 2013 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - You are SO right! That annoys me to no end when people compare kids and what they’re each doing at the same age. They are their own people! Lay OFF, peeps!! I love the way you put it into words. As I said when I commented on your guest post: YOU ROCK!July 24, 2013 – 3:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - I love our land. Everyone should move here with us.July 24, 2013 – 5:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Well said as always, Kristi. Catching up implies less than and greater than – and that doesn’t happen in Our Land.July 24, 2013 – 5:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Well said! People really need to think before they speak! Sometimes I think people just say things because they feel like they need to, although they have no idea what they are talking about.July 24, 2013 – 6:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - When people say stuff like that, it makes you wonder if they are saying it for you or if they need to make themselves feel better. I love the honesty in this post. I think it’s really important for people to hear. Although…I do have to say that as a special educator, I have seen kids do things that no one thought was possible. I know that’s a different thing, and I don’t want to diminish what you are saying, but I’ve also seen the opposite occur: where people have NO expectations for kids and just write off their abilities. That makes me incredibly sad.July 24, 2013 – 7:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Lizza - You are so right my friend…we are all our own version of normal. All of us! Truer words could not be spoken. Celebrate the strides, the accomplishments big and small and love your normal.July 24, 2013 – 8:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - First, Congrats on being featured on Love that Max!

    Second, I love this post. In the preemie world, we hear it all the time – I guess I didn’t know it extended into other areas too – “They say these kids catch up”. Who is this damn “they”? Cause “they” don’t know shit. Instead of saying what I want to say, I typically nicely (or as nicely as I can) correct people with, “he’s probably going to have his own version of catch up”.

    Thanks, Kristi, for sharing, thanks for educating, thanks for advocating and thanks for letting people know that wherever our kids end up on the spectrum of catching up, it’s okay.July 24, 2013 – 8:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - To face the reality of the battle ahead is the first step in winning the war. What is normal? Is killing each other over a piece of paper normal? Is stealing from the less fortunate and naive normal? Is using others, without acknowledgement or payment, to advance ones own aspirations normal? Unfortunately, it is. Sometimes, one has to wonder if the children with their so-called affliction may not be the normal creatures of God’s Earth, and we, in turn, are the monsters that walk the land. Well done, Kristi, very well done!July 25, 2013 – 12:19 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - Kristi you have put into words something that I have never been able to for almost 14 years. This frustration at being told your child will “catch up” is how I felt ever since our second daughter was born 3 months early, and it feels such a relief to see it voiced. What amazed me most is that people even seemed to think she would “catch up” with physical milestones – as if a baby born so premature should be able to sit up at six months when her body is still that of a 3 month old baby!

    That said, in spite of the dire warnings from doctors of what to expect, our daughter does not have special needs. Some people would probably even say she has “caught up.” I used to feel guilty for taking into account that she was born so premature and your post has just helped me to see that I have nothing to feel guilty about. Thank you!

    Your last line is so, so true: we are all our own version of normal.

    BTW, I get a email every day with a Peace Quote, and thought you’d like the one I’ve just received.

    “We live our deepest Soul’s desire not by intending to change who we are but by intending to be who we are.”
    – Oriah Mountain DreamerJuly 25, 2013 – 6:35 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth @ Rocks, No Salt Mommy - Once again, a beautiful post that touches my heart. You are a brave mother who is so honest about your ups and downs with your son. I admire you and always look forward to your posts.July 25, 2013 – 12:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - That brought tears to my eyes. I will keep this short, as I am typing while flying on an airplane. Yikes. I’m glad this brought my friend Laurie to your site. This was one of my favorites of yours- you articulated this so beautifully. And I will try to stalk and congratulate her for you at the conference… 🙂July 25, 2013 – 7:53 pmReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - “People mean well….” is what I am constantly telling myself whenever comments such as that come at me. It’s not my child, rather something about my husband’s health. But the bottom line is, he’s already doing the best he can with what he has. Anyway, I completely get what you’re saying, even if it’s in a different way.July 25, 2013 – 8:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - I’ve noticed that as my daughter’s younger peers and cousin have passed her developmentally, I am beginning to see that we will have our own (prsonalized) idea of “caught up”. Because right now, even though she’s five, everything about her says she’s three. She may never ever catch up and I will continue to watch kids younger and younger pass her. She just has her own set of standards.July 26, 2013 – 9:01 amReplyCancel

  • karen - Loved THIS!!!!
    As a mom and special education teacher, I hear this all the time and love your explanation….BRAVO.July 26, 2013 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

  • Jak - Beautiful post as always.
    –
    I think “He/she will catch up” is a common go to phrase for people of sympathy for lack of knowing what to say and/or to just be reassuring and offer a kind sentiment. Taking it negatively isn’t likely the best way to look at it, but I understand how it could upset/invoke emotions as such.
    –
    I really like the comparisons to snow flakes and how all of us are different and normal.
    –
    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJuly 31, 2013 – 1:22 amReplyCancel

Music and memories from the 90’s. Ah, friends. In looking for tunes to share with you from the late 90’s, I realize that I was probably the opposite of an early adopter when it comes to the music world. I distinctly remember listening to Metallica’s Master of Puppets a lot from 1995 to 1999. I looked […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Jen - Holy CR*P I totally forgot about Marcy Playground! I listened to that at the store all the time! I love that song. It’s got a great melody, makes you want to sing. I love you! I love you for being just a teeny bit wilder than me. On my 90’s trip to Mexico there was def an ashtray on the bed, but the pack of cigs sitting next to me were Camel Lights. I also hooked up (not in the biblical sense, but you know…other stuff) with a dude I met after drinking way too many tequila poppers, you know they would slam the bottle on the table and then pour it down your throat? Anywhoo…met this dude who it turned out was touring with his awesome Acapella music group, I’m a sucker for guys with a voice. We actually did the long distance thing for a while, he was in NY. Then he came to visit, I had to work a lot so my sister “entertained” him. Needless to say, he broke up with me for her. Dude, not cool.July 23, 2013 – 1:02 amReplyCancel

  • K - LOL! (: I am in love with your blog, did I ever tell you that?

    And hmm…what did I do in the 90’s? It’s a bit fuzzy but I seem to remember bouncing down the stairs in a laundry basket, stuffing the CD player in my dad’s car with cheese and crackers (in all fairness, my brothers and I genuinely believed that it was a cheese and crackers holder…), and watching Blues Clues in my overalls (whoever thought that overalls were a good idea?!). 😉July 23, 2013 – 1:12 amReplyCancel

  • Joy - While I never really liked the Black Album (I found it too commercial compared to the old stuff) I like “Wherever I May Roam” actually.

    Your pics are awesome, lol! You sure knew how to have fun! 😉 Great post!July 23, 2013 – 2:36 amReplyCancel

  • Kimbra - Love that song “Sex and Candy” as a matter of fact, I love it so much that I started singing it out loud (with my kids staring at my strangely) as I read the words “sex and candy” LOL!July 23, 2013 – 2:58 amReplyCancel

  • clark - ashtray on bed!! ashtray on bed!! (sorry…)
    ‘What is ashtray on bed?’

    Correct for $500.00 dollars!*

    I totally remember ashtrays on the bed. While you seem to have the plastic or ceramic one in your photo, I had less style, choosing instead the shiny metal ones! (very broad and shallow, with 4 semi-crimps around the flat rim.
    (Remind me to tell you a truly amazing ‘tale of smoking in bed’)

    Funny about the Metallica. Am a bigger fan now than I was back then.

    * Alex’s question: this demonstrates both a robust regard for one’s health *and* the safety of the population of an entire building. lol

    (Disclaimer: sorry as a non-voluntary non-smoker, I will maintain that back in the day, not only was there less awareness of the dangers of smoking, but it (smoking) was still totally cool.July 23, 2013 – 7:34 amReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - Ya had me at Metallica (love that song!). The early 90’s for me were spent in pool halls, well one in particular. The first song I always programmed on the jukebox first was a Metallica song. Could not begin without my Metallica. And by damned, might even have been Wherever:D
    After reading your post Kristi, I just don’t know. You might “be” Jody after all. LOLJuly 23, 2013 – 7:37 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I did listen to Metallica, because my high school boyfriend was in a band at the time and loved Metallica (the things you do for young love). I still remember going to band practices and listening to him play the drums on the song “One”. Seriously those were the days!!July 23, 2013 – 7:39 amReplyCancel

  • Dream - Metallica was a band I had to develop a liking for, which finally happened for me in the late 90’s with Fuel and their cover of Whiskey in the Jar. But I’ve been a big fan ever since. Great choice!July 23, 2013 – 8:06 amReplyCancel

  • Natalie DeYoung - I am forever a nineties girl, too, as well as a late-to-the-party girl. I discovered Nirvana a few months after Cobain’s suicide…July 23, 2013 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - That story/photo made me giggle, but only because you’re ok! I was only ten in the 90’s so I’ll say I spent them wearing neon pink windbreakers at school dances. Listening to Boyz II Men and eventually Nirvana, The Cranberries, Counting Crows..Pearl Jam..July 23, 2013 – 11:23 amReplyCancel

  • troy P. - Bill and Monica – that story was almost signed for a sitcom, wasn’t it?

    And while I haven’t smoked in years, the ones that I enjoyed on the bed just always seemed a tiny wee bit better than the others that weren’t – even IF I wasn’t smoking them in celebration of nookie at the time.July 23, 2013 – 11:29 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - I don’t think I’ll ever be cool enough to enjoy Metallica, but I did enjoy this! Your photos and drawings are so awesome.
    As for what I was doing in the 90s – well towards the end I had 2 children: one in 98 and one in 99.

    And my husband used to play Oasis and the Clash to our first as she sat in her bouncy chair by his desk. Yet, somehow, a year or so later her favourite song was still “Twinkle, twinkle little star.” (Or “Up Above” as she called it.) She has now graduated on to some pretty good music and I’m learning a lot from her!July 23, 2013 – 12:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Lance - I think Bill and Monica uttered the phrase “like double cherry pie” more than once.July 23, 2013 – 3:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - I’ve never seen someone so in love with a donkey before! (That didn’t have a strange midnight show in a seedy nightclub in Puerto Rico, that is!) The hold you have on him is one of meeting the one true love of your life! Don’t feel bad, I didn’t discover Metallica until the 90’s either. I was into alternative music during the late 80’s, so when the 90’s came around, Megadeth, Metallica, Ministry, Slayer, and King’s X were like a new event for me. Just think, if Monica would have had a hint of red on her dress, she’d have had the same colors as the flag! So patriotic she was! lol Funny Stuff!July 23, 2013 – 6:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I have a similar photo of me in Mexico looking about as alive as you do – but mine was from the 80s. I was too busy getting two degrees, married, buying a house, and having a kid in the 90s to listen to music 🙂July 23, 2013 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Those are some of the best photos and drawings of you EVER. Thanks for making me laugh hard at the end of a stressful, long day. You may have totally salvaged my countdown to bedtime mood! Also, I loved the song Sex and Candy, and I also loved the phase of life that involved the more responsible partying and passing out at someone’s actual house. Maybe when we are in our 50s we can revisit that? Maybe not. I don’t like to accept that that stage of my life is over. Shit, now I’m sad again. Better go see the pictures again. 😀July 23, 2013 – 10:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - Okay, I let the “mullets were in style in the early 90’s” from your last post go. (Although, here, I’ll just say…ahem…you may have been a late hanger-on on that one – but don’t worry, so was Kyle and I married him). Anyway. Fanny packs? Late 90’s? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not cool. No mam. Late 80’s, I’ll give you. Late 90’s and you simply were a little too desperate for a place to hold onto the Marb Reds. You know I love you Kristi, and I’m sorry to call you out like this but, from someone who hasn’t been cool since 1999, I have to hold the sacredness of that era strong. Fanny packs stayed in the early 90’s w/ the dreams of Milli Vanilli…Girl, You Know It’s True.July 23, 2013 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Oh man. The 90s were jam packed for me, both good and bad. High school, college, Italy. I love those photos of you as a 90s badass though. Lol.July 23, 2013 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - You know what’s funny here. 1) I LOVE that Metallica song. I know every word. I also know every word to EVERY song on that album.
    2) My kid is required to get a fanny pack for 3rd grade. It’s on his school supply list. All I can say is WTH? No one makes those any more, right? I don’t suppose you have a fanny pack?

    I’m sorry I’m so late reading this. Me and my stupid flaming laptop are a bit behind. Forgive me? Pretty please?July 28, 2013 – 1:21 amReplyCancel

  • Slu - sorry i’m late… been on vacation.

    just have to say I sooooo love your ‘pics & stories.’ keep ’em coming. SluJuly 28, 2013 – 12:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Jak - I probably listened to Metallica during the 80’s, but wasn’t “aware” of them until the 90’s. I agree I still love a lot of those songs and could still rock out to them. I’d still like to see them live.

    Your drawings are amazing lol It’s really messed up, but today I saw someone walking down the street and I saw a strap around their waist, and I thought about fanny packs and tried to think when they were created, because I’ve no idea! My dad still uses one I think lol He is “old school”.

    Not to creep you out, but it looks like one muchacho was eying you up. Let’s hope he didn’t happen upon you passed out, ass up, on the bed in your swimming suit! >.>

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJuly 31, 2013 – 12:50 amReplyCancel

Late last night, I was on Facebook chat with some of my peeps (thank you, Clark and Rich for your reassuring words and thank you Rachel and Terrye for being wonderful friends – and although I wasn’t DM’ing Kerri, I was likely texting her so thanks there, too…). Anyway, the Famous Richard Rumple, of That’s […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • clark - genuine lol (last photo/line)July 21, 2013 – 11:15 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Clark,
    And here I expected you to be a little bit jealous. Oh well.July 21, 2013 – 11:18 amReplyCancel

  • clark - …now that I have stopped laughing. Isn’t it…. disturbing that many year after the last photo was taken (“Kristi! you shouldn’t you’ll never know what will become of that impetuous picture, imagine what someone with a photo editor might do with it!”)

    Now we all know and recognize the uncanny foresight you displayed back or…what was it 5 or 6 years ago?

    lol

    Rich, I love his list is at once sincere and heartfelt …irreverent and hilarious

    nice work you twoJuly 21, 2013 – 11:20 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Clark,
    Ha I wish it was 5 or 6 years ago. And yes, I must have been quite wise back in those youthful days. Certainly I had the foresight to know I’d need this photo and was in fact, not just an asshole rebel.
    I love his list too. And he did it in 53 minutes. It took me longer to put it here and draw stupid-looking sheep pictures.July 21, 2013 – 11:24 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Should had Rich do mine, too!! Seriously, he never ceases to amaze me and you are right Kristi, he is hilarious!! 🙂July 21, 2013 – 11:24 amReplyCancel

  • MM - Great list, made me laugh! 🙂July 21, 2013 – 11:35 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    I never thought he’d say yes! How awesome is it that he did??
    —
    MM,
    🙂 You should visit Rich’s site. He really is always this funny.
    —July 21, 2013 – 12:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - I’m not necessarily going to stick up for Miley but whenever I see a young celeb going off the deep end, I think back to when I was that age and how stupid I acted. I am endlessly grateful that social media did not exist back then or that my every move was recorded and publicized.
    I hope social media disappears by the time my kids are in their teens!July 21, 2013 – 12:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Jean,
    You’re right. I was really young and stupid too and thank God I wasn’t a celebrity with cameras all around me all the time! Good point!July 21, 2013 – 12:17 pmReplyCancel

  • zoe - Very funny! And I suspect sincere which makes it even funnier! Thanks for stopping at my site and directing me here and to Richard’s site…July 21, 2013 – 1:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Terrye - Thank you for the shout out, Kristi. But I have to give you a ration of shit. 😉 my website is misplacedalaskan.com

    The one you have linked goes to a “website not found.” I’m thinkin’ ya don’t really like. me. 😀

    Rich, nicely done. You actually, mostly, behaved yourself! 😀July 21, 2013 – 1:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Heyyyy! I see what you did here 😀

    I loved this (you sneaky thing!) and Rich’s 10 are hysterical! I definitely want more of them joined in at some point (though on his site – you do your own dirty work, missy! 😉 ) and I loved the pictures you added – nothing like a touch of the vaguely Welsh atmosphere in a sheep picture…thanks for that :p

    Clark – I gotcha. Genuine LOL from me, too XDJuly 21, 2013 – 1:32 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - Oh my word, Kristi, that is hilarious that you got Rich to do this post for you. Hilarious and brave. Your photos are perfect additions, of course. The photo at the end? Brilliant!

    If only I could get rid of 867-5309 so easily. There is a plumber who actually got that number for the business and does the song in their commercial. It is on all the time around here.

    And now I have to go to Rich’s site. Last I heard he was taking a blog break, and no posts have shown up on my reader. Arg.July 21, 2013 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Cyndi - Taking a study break to come over and read. One more week of school and then I can blog again, yippee!
    Loved Rich’s entry – he’s one funny, sarcastic dude, lol. Have a great weekend!July 21, 2013 – 1:46 pmReplyCancel

  • A Pleasant House - Much love and respect to both of you. Kristi- for being a warrior woman for her son, and to my adored Richard for NOT being PC. You two are a great team! XXXOOOJuly 21, 2013 – 1:56 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - (but I am totally jealous! lol)
    But it is that jealous when (lets use a musical instrument metaphor! ..ok! lets!)

    if i have a guitar and play something and then I hand it to another person and they play something similar that is totally on another level… I do not give up on playing guitar!* Because we are dealing with a common interment… even the same context (to continue the metaphor) but I recognize in your stuff here…a way of expressing an idea that I have not (yet) attained the capacity for… the warmth beneath the edge or something like that….plus you gave the perfect** accompaniment to Rich’s ‘lead’

    *when I get home alone with that guitar I will give it dirty looks, how could you!
    ** what you added took clever and made it better you know, like for this post you were Mitch Mitchell lolJuly 21, 2013 – 2:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - OMG, you actually posted this!!! lol You have a bigger set than King Kong did before Fay Wray cut ’em off! (OMG, you borrowed them from her…amazing!) Your drawing and photo message worked out exceptionally well. Of course, anything could have helped my drab piece. I was trying to be good, but my “bad boy” image slipped through a couple of times. And look at all the people who are still your friends! (I’m curious as to how many are no longer your friends, though!) I’m amazed at all the good comments. People really must like you a lot. Either that, or they’re going, “Okay, she screwed up this time by having Rich here. We forgive her. She’s normally a very intelligent person.” Next time, I’ll know better than to talk to a person at one o’clock in the morning when I’m still wired and they’re procrastinating writing a blog due the next day! lol Thanks for having me, my friend, and thanks to all that commented kindly!July 21, 2013 – 4:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - Agreed on no. 5, even though I get sick whenever I see this person ANYWHERE.

    What’s the soul handshake? Sorry, I’m German!! And a girl. My greatest fear was to fall with my brand-new heels on wood floor on my way to accepting the diploma, I didn’t have the time or energy to think up pranks for the principal; I was, however, a rebel by wearing a bright pink hair piece 😉

    I feel with you. My mom forced me to eat liver fricasee in a gravy with carrots and instant mashed potatoes. The fact that I still remember that should be proof enough how serious the trauma is *I’m a pescetarian now’.

    Oh, and I would have loved to see the wrapped up friend hopping to the urinal. epic. I assume there are no video tapes of that!July 21, 2013 – 4:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Zoe,
    I suspect totally sincere as well. Plus, he gets points for writing it at 1am. Serious huge points.
    —
    Terrye,
    I ADORE YOU and I suck for mucking it up. It’s fixed (hanging head in shame).
    —
    Considerer,
    You know some sheep herders like that, do ya? Ha! And yeah, stay tuned for how I do thankful next week! (drum roll)
    —
    Christine,
    I know, I can’t believe he said yes! Seriously, we were on Facebook chat and I just threw it out there “Want to do it for me?” And he SAID YES! How awesome is that? Haha to a local plumber using that song and phone number for real. Wow, annoying and probably genius. And yeah, he’s back and better than ever. I hear his feed isn’t working…
    —July 21, 2013 – 6:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Cyndi,
    Best of luck with the studying – I hope it goes really well! YAY to only one more week and yes, Rich is one awesomely funny dude.
    —
    A Pleasant House,
    Aw. Thank you so much!
    —
    Clark.
    OK WAIT – AM I THE GUITAR because that might be kindof gross. And OH cool – can’t wait to hear about your idea!
    —July 21, 2013 – 6:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Rich,
    Of course (!!!) (DUH) I used it. In addition to it being really much better than my own list would have been this week, it’s awesome and hilarious and just plain perfect. Plus, it allowed me to draw a photo of you dreaming of a sheep in lipstick and a bow AND say “Gravity happened, Bitch!” How could I not use it? Thanks so much for allowing me to pilfer your awesomeness and post your words here. I’ll let you know how many people unsubscribe (they won’t – because you’re awesome).
    —
    Stephanie,
    Shudder to the liver your mom made you eat – nobody should have to eat liver, ever. And the soul handshake is like one of those fancy handshakes where you clasp hands differently (cooler) than the formal handshake. Does that make sense?
    —-July 21, 2013 – 6:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Lolling!

    You two make a great word/image team. As good together as sheep and gravity.July 21, 2013 – 7:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Thanks for the laugh, Rich! Especially the Saran Wrap part. 🙂July 21, 2013 – 9:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Maggie Amada - I kind of like Miley Cyrus. She’s cute and entertained my nieces for years. That’s worth a lot.

    Enjoyed this list because it made me smile. Smiles are also worth a lot.July 21, 2013 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Dyanne @ I Want Backsies - It’s my opinion that saran wrap that doesn’t stick to itself doesn’t stick to anything else, either. But what do I know? I’M JUST A HILLBILLY WITHOUT A REALITY SHOW 🙂

    I suffered through my daughter’s Hannah Montana phase and am happy to report that she does NOT like the new and improved Miley Cyrus. Whew!July 22, 2013 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - I’ve gotta get on the Thankful Wagon! That’s all there is to it! Must.clear.schedule. Thanks for all the laughs Rich! HA HA!July 22, 2013 – 2:12 amReplyCancel

  • karen - hey Richard…great post, honest and hysterical. off to check out your blog now…July 22, 2013 – 6:36 amReplyCancel

  • Tracie - I’m thankful for a Monday morning laugh…and on my way to go meet Richard officially.July 22, 2013 – 9:52 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I was a little nervous when I saw that Rich was guest posting. I thought for sure he would deviate from his norm, trying to be PC. I am so thankful he didn’t 🙂July 22, 2013 – 11:22 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - I want Rich to write my blog! HELLO! You just can’t fight funny. Cause it’s funny. I really needed a good laugh, and am so glad Rich isn’t PC. I think I need to hang with that guy.July 22, 2013 – 1:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Jak - ACK! Cheater >.< What the ball nuts?!
    –
    *Runs around Chicken Little style*
    –
    Cheater cheater cheater!July 22, 2013 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Jak - Okay, I’m back, Kristi.
    –
    Interesting tactic. I will have to remember it 😉 I don’t care what all the others say, you’re one smart cookie. (and not too shabby once Gravity took hold)
    –
    Depending on how the friend was wrapped up, I would have probably been set into a panic attack when waking up to that, and that would have been before I knew what Dexter was!
    –
    You may be pleased to know that I think Miley Cyrus’s parents are possibly attempting to give it another go!
    –
    It’s just best I don’t mention the sheep.
    –
    Thanks for guest posting on the TToT, Rich, but now your soul belongs to the hop. That’s right! This was all a trap! See you next week on your blog! Muahahaha!

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJuly 22, 2013 – 7:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - This guy and his TToT list are freaking hilarious!! Good job, Rich!July 23, 2013 – 2:38 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Hangs head in shame. Mickey is in my iTunes workout playlist now. What’s worse, it hasn’t BEEN there. I just bought it about a month ago. It makes me act a fool and get a better workout in. Also I do this in the privacy of my own living room. Love #1July 24, 2013 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Joy - Just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for an award! http://icansaymama.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-versatile-blogger-meets-semper.htmlJuly 25, 2013 – 6:16 amReplyCancel

I’m not a big church person. I pray, I believe in miracles, I believe in wonder and that unexplainable, unimaginable awe exists above the creational abilities present solely in the minds of men. I do not believe that there is nothing more once we die. Maybe it’s because I can’t. It’s painful to realize that […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
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  • Courtney - I am a christian and I cannot believe that God would create people he doesn’t love. I honestly don’t understand those who do. I don’t necessarily believe in church but I believe in Jesus and God. I think religion was created by man, which is why it is so flawed, but God is greater than us. I don’t spout scripture and I DO study Jesus’ words. I believe in grace, forgiveness, and repenting. I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I don’t understand illness or suffering. I guess I have questions for the after life, which I do believe in. I believe in prayer, but sometimes the silence is horrible. I love how you strung this together, Kristi. I agree with you on the big accounts.July 19, 2013 – 11:55 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I am what you would call a Cafeteria Catholic. I take what I like, what speaks to me and I leave the lima beans back in the line where they belong. David, who is not Catholic, is a my wife dragged me here to Church and I will see what kind of trouble I can cause. He might have caused the fart, except you forgot the bolt of lightening for the person who thought OMFG 🙂

    And, as always I am totally with you on this one. How can God make us in his image, call us his child and then say XYZ isn’t loved.

    I also never got how God could be Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God at all the same time.July 19, 2013 – 12:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I am with you on there are some things that I totally understand in church and others not so much. By the way, I didn’t see the end coming at all. Great job and totally put a smile on my face today. Thanks for linking up with us again 🙂July 19, 2013 – 12:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica Smock - That’s sort of where I’m at too. I’m always amazed at the contradiction between religious groups that can participate in such astounding acts of generosity and goodwill during times of crisis, but also advocate for positions that may be intolerant or make other people’s lives more difficult (i.e. campaigning against gay marriage). Thoughtful post!July 19, 2013 – 1:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - I totally agree with you. I still go to church (though not as much as I’d like) at a very small Baptist church with people who generally mind their own business and love and support each other. We were always taught that God loves us and is always there for us, and that we should love each other, no matter what. In Sunday School, we were even introduced to some Jewish customs in which Jesus participated. I don’t get how things go bad in some churches, or how some Christians can judge others so harshly for just being themselves. I guess I was lucky to have a good church experience. And not too many farts. Although, my stomach growling… that’s another story. It loooooves to talk in church! 🙂July 19, 2013 – 1:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Nelson - Man is fallen, what can I say. We are by nature imperfect. We are given choice – one of the greatest of all blessings. It is from the results of these choices that we must learn and grow.

    Man in his non-infinite wisdom is always incorrect. Man is weak. Man is more often go with what they want the final result to be. They want to drink alcohol, a group goes off and makes it okay to drink. If someone wants to have gay marriage, a group breaks off that is like the church, but allows gay marriage within it – so on and so forth.

    It’s all about tolerance. We have to tolerate each other. That’s what it’s all about.

    I had an incident in my personal life, about gay marriage or transgender, or something to this affect. It turned into a bunch of religious bashing – which was totally unnecessary. Everybody has their own beliefs that they are comfortable with (whether it’s religion based or moral beliefs). Everybody has thoughts as to what is right and wrong. We don’t have to accept the thoughts, but we do have to respect them. It’s about being a decent human being – and I think that embodies who Jesus Christ is. He never ever judged. His heart wasn’t filled with judgement, it was filled with love.

    Just because the church group fought against gay marriage, doesn’t mean they are not loving and giving people. They just think the idea of gay marriage is wrong. That goes for anything else in life. I might think something is wrong and advocate against it, but it doesn’t make me any less loving. In fact, I can love someone who I think has done wrong. I have loved someone who I think (in my opinion) had done wrong. That’s actually the best thing you can do.

    As mortal beings, we don’t know everything – and I have just accepted that fact. All is not revealed to us – as it should be. If it were, we would certainly screw it up – I’m sure. We need not know certain things. I think it was designed beautifully.

    This is what I talked about in my diversity post. Everyone just has to be accepting of diversity. It goes beyond skin color. It’s beliefs, religions, sexual orientation, size, sex, mental capacity, and the like.July 19, 2013 – 1:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - I’m kind of speechless. This is one of my favorite posts of yours- EVER. I wanted to start highlighting sentence to refer back to you and say, “This was so amazing, ” or “This was my favorite line,” and then pretty soon there were just too many of them. You had such fantastic insights with this post, friend, and I agree and relate 100% to your thoughts. That story about your Grandma’s church will stick with me for a long time, and the whole duality of men bit was genius. The whole opening sentence/paragraph was perfect. Must go re-read. Amazing work. And then of course you leave us with something hilarious and awesome. You are gifted. Like, GT gifted.July 19, 2013 – 2:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe - Hmmm, maybe that’s really why they started swinging the censer (Poorvahr in Armenian) of incense during service?? 😉July 19, 2013 – 3:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - WOW, Kristi, this was an awesome Finish the Sentence Friday! You have summed up the way many, many people feel about church and spirituality, and you’ve done it in an eloquent, very relatable way. Great job!!July 19, 2013 – 4:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - There are so many sides to religion, and you really captured that Kristi. It’s so easy to pigeonhole people, but your story of your mother-in-law’s congregation illustrates that we are so complex and multifaceted. It’s not church we have to believe in, it’s people. Brilliant as usual, my friend – with a fart and a laugh at the end to boot!July 19, 2013 – 4:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Kristi – This is lovely. I love the analogy that some have used that God/Absolute/Divine is the sun, and we are all inside a gorgeous cathedral with stained-glass windows, and each of those windows bends and colors the light differently, interprets it differently, but at its core it’s all the same light getting in. I too have a hard time understanding intolerance and hate in religion. Karen Armstrong (who I quoted in my post for today) also says that our modern notion of a God who would “love you but hate gays” is such a foreign concept of God that even great church thinkers like Aquinas or Augustine would not have agreed with. Great and thought-provoking post.July 19, 2013 – 5:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - As I read your entire belief structure, of which much I share, I knew that among the sincerity, the honesty, the conviction, the confusion, the sanity, the wonderment, the hope, and the disappointment, you were going to have to cut loose with a joke. The last line allows me to continue my faith in you! lol I’ve kept a feeling within for years that if I could just make one person laugh at least once a day, I was contributing to the betterment of mankind. It relieves pressure and stress, allows one to gather oneself, and gives them a new starting point. You can say anything you want to as long as they’re smiling at the end. You’ve learned that on your own and do a great job at it. Good Post!!July 19, 2013 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - great post and I posted a while about not being a good Catholic because I don’t exclude. Yes, God loves us all and knows who the good people are from the evil ones who pretend to be good. He knows that faith and worship is more than just going to church, it’s how you live your life. He’s not going to hand out high fives at the pearly gates to those people who burned down abortion clinics, protested funerals, excluded gay and lesbian worshipers, or sold their soul to make it in politics. He will hug and comfort those of us who lived a good life and respected others.July 19, 2013 – 9:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Mary-andering Creatively - Finding God is a journey. I don’t think I have found out all that God is or has been. He/She is a mystery to me. I know that in the Biblical Hebrew God is called the First and the Last. God referred to Himself as He only so we humans would have a reference. It is the great mystery of all times. When we seek God, we seek an eternity and impossible perfection. We want atonement for our failures, and we want to grow and meld with God so that The First and Last can create in us a new eternity. What you see when people reach out to help one another in times of crisis, death is a true definition of God and Love. My God sits drawing in the sand, looking at my faults but seeing me as an eternal creation that wants to return to full fellowship with the First and Last. My God will ask where are your accusers. My eternal heart is what is important to My God. To me it is the most profound mystery that I have to accept by faith. I am not perfect and I can’t judge anyone else’s seeking. I pray that they find their way to the God that the is First and Last. God also came as a sacrifical lamb in the form of Jesus. He died for gay. He died for the sinner. He came for the weak and rejected. We accept his sacrifice on face value. He served the First and Last and wanted to show the religious hyprocrites of His day the way back to the true God.July 19, 2013 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Mo at Mocadeaux - This is such a heartfelt story about the zig zag route that many of us take in our lives. As I grew up and became more aware of the world around me, it sometimes was harder and harder to follow my religion blindly. But ultimately for me it came down to, as you so beautifully put it, being humbled by the community a church can provide. I find myself focusing way more on the relationships and support and way less on the specific teachings. Maybe this is a little bit of a copout. I still struggle a bit with that. Thanks for the laugh at the end of the post!July 19, 2013 – 10:33 pmReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - I think you took the words right out my mouth – er- fingers? I chose to be baptized, confirmed and married, and baptized my children, as an Anglo-Catholic as an adult. Now though? I too am not sure there is any church I could go to that would embody everything I believe. My values and beliefs have evolved so much over the years. I cannot tolerate hate or judgement anymore. I refuse to believe God is out to get us for anything we might do. But I believe wholeheartedly that there IS a God, who Jesus was, that there is a beautiful “place” to go to when we die, in angels and miracles.

    Complicated is right!July 19, 2013 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - And then she brings the green fart juice. Leave it to you to diffuse a tense situation with farts. You crack me up because you are really silly. I don’t know what to say. I keep my religious beliefs to me as far as the blogoverse goes. I think what you learned about support and praying is pretty darn right on.July 19, 2013 – 10:34 pmReplyCancel

  • mummyflyingsolo - What a great post. This, is largely how I feel about religion in general because of church, fanatics and hypocrites. I def believe there is a god of sorts but it is in a way I don’t believe we understand as opposed to the way someone wrote, it, all in a book years ago. You wrote this post so very well. It’s a hard topic to cover and you’ve done it so articulately.July 20, 2013 – 12:27 amReplyCancel

  • Katia - What a coherently-written wonderful essay about religion’s complexities. I love that you did not give a black and white description of this. While I completely support and share your opinions about the ignorance of a church that makes hate (whether it be for gays or another religious group) its main axis I thought it was very powerful that you demonstrated how the same church was capable of showing such kindness and support to a dying person. This is true life. It would be so much easier if the bad was JUST bad and we could dismiss it as such. Great job reflecting complexities in this post, because church is not only about finding the common denominator that unites it, it’s also about ‘who dunnit?’ when somebody farts.July 20, 2013 – 7:05 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Well said. That is my struggle with church. When I was growing up I learned that Jesus loved everyone. And if you were a good person you would go to heaven…I struggle with that teaching versus what I so often hear today. This is a great post.-AshleyJuly 20, 2013 – 9:16 amReplyCancel

  • Kathy Radigan - I really loved this post. I too have had some difficulty with organized religion and have not even been a Christmas /Easter attendee. I have a real problem with any organization, but especially in God’s name saying that one group of people are welcome but one group is not, or that the way someone is born is wrong. Thanks for speaking so well on an a difficult topic. 🙂July 20, 2013 – 9:40 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I don’t have a long response to this mainly because it’s the internet and people creep me out when they talk about politics and religion. Not you, by the way! I meant that I’m too afraid to argue.
    I am with you nearly 100%, except I’m Jewish. I see a lot wrong with so many conflicting religious viewpoints. I want to say, “You can’t all be right! Why not try a little humility and admit you might not know everything?” And yet I can’t believe there’s nothing more either. I believe in something – I just don’t know what!July 20, 2013 – 9:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Donetta - Just wanted to say I completely understand everything you just wrote and it almost seems as if you’re in my head. lol. I was raised in church but how I feel about churches and religions in general is not at all how I feel about God. I think what really turns me off is anytime a religious member doesn’t have an answer to a question I ask, I usually get the: “Don’t question God. You have to have faith”. Well, if God created me, He surely knows I am full of questions. Great post.July 21, 2013 – 11:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Cathy Harlow - Great post, Kristi. You have become one of my favorite bloggers. Your mix of thought-provoking prose and your warped sense of humor make you quite unique.

    You are right, my friend, God loves everyone. He created each and every one of us perfectly in His eyes. It is us who complicate things and try to rewrite what Jesus came to teach.

    Even in the early days of Christianity there were those in the church who would create their own rules. Rules that were unnecessary to a religion whose God’s main message was, “Love one another.” Perhaps the message is too simple. Perhaps it’s just not in our nature to love one another.

    The church is supposed to be a place where believers gather for worship, community and ministry. Unfortunately, there are churches whose teachings are twisted or not biblical. Fortunately, there are churches who get it right. Those who find these churches are blessed, indeed. (Well, unless they sit near the Gassy One.)July 22, 2013 – 11:31 amReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - I could have written much of this. The biggest difference is that I’m actively involved in a church. It has it’s faults, but I’ve come to accept that ‘duality’ and the fact that I can love people without agreeing with them on everything, and that I can serve God alongside other people who are serving God, knowing our methods are different, and views are sometimes opposing, but heart is the same. I wouldn’t be in a church where I didn’t feel our heart’s intents were the same- I’ve been in those scary places. Not for me.

    My church is not perfect, but it’s because as people we’re not perfect. But to find a place that is about love and serving, and has people that can love your kids and your family so much that they become family…. that’s powerful stuff.July 22, 2013 – 12:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy - I agree on everything you said! Religion is always a sensitive topic but you handled it so well! I applaud you!July 23, 2013 – 2:38 amReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Ok, trying again with this comment! I don’t know if I can remember what I said! I think it was:

    To me, church is about defining the “other.” It’s more anthropology than religion or spirituality. That’s why a church community can be amazing and rally around someone who is sick AND, at the same time, be convinced that gays (or some other group of folks) are evil.

    I’m not a big fan. I won’t lie….July 23, 2013 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • SocialButterflyMom - And then how do you raise your kid? Being raised Catholic, my criteria now is just finding a cross and rainbow flag on the same building.July 24, 2013 – 8:40 amReplyCancel

  • Kim Pugliano - Mom is Jewish. Daddy was Catholic but not practicing and told Mom she could raise Beth and I however she wanted. So I was raised Jewish with some Christianity thrown in (Aunt Sharon – two blocks away). Then I grew up and did my own thinking and came to the conclusion that I just don’t – can’t believe. I die and I’m dead. No heaven. No hell. Just here then not. Hot Joe believes the same and Noah knows this but he believes in God (not the Jesus one). We agree that if one of us is dying or dies we will let Noah think we suddenly believe and we’ll see him in Heaven. None of this matters. Macklemore and Lewis have a song called “Same Love” on their album. Have you heard it? Youtube it if you haven’t. It’s beautiful. This is my most favoritest line in the entire song: “Whatever God you believe in, we all come from the same one.” I love love love that and personally believe it to my core. I still don’t believe in God, but I love this line.July 26, 2013 – 6:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Brynell - I don’t know who you wrote this for but you helped a brteohr out.August 27, 2014 – 3:20 pmReplyCancel

Some of you may know that on Wednesdays, I feature a variety of voices chosen specifically to make us think, wonder, and appreciate differing viewpoints and abilities. The Our Land Series is a collection of these view points, and a place where empathy and wonder rule. This week, I’m proud to feature my good friend Dana from […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
email a friend

  • Jessica - Good for those kids, and good for Ryan’s mom! Open communication is so important to help us understand one another. Once we understand, it’s easier to accept. I hope more talks like this happen. 🙂 Great post, Dana!July 17, 2013 – 10:38 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - This is why I not only adore you, but hero worship you. What a freaking awesome son you have grown. I think it is beyond incredible that Ryan’s mom took the honest approach at a young age to educate his peers that while he may have autism it doesn’t mean he can’t have friends. And that his school was supportive of her efforts. I wish we could all have been flies on the wall that day.

    I think he is incredibly lucky to have such a supportive environment. And his posse rocks!July 17, 2013 – 10:40 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica Smock - This is so lovely. I wish more kids — boys with and without autism — would have this experience. As a teacher, I can’t help but wish that I had encouraged more parents to speak to the class like Ryan’s mom did. That sounds like such a wonderful idea.July 17, 2013 – 10:42 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - This was truly a wonderful story and so happy to hear that these children accepted Ryan just as he was. Really have seen the gamete as a teacher of children with all sorts of disabilities, but the story you have shared makes me know that there is still such good out there in our youth. Thank you for reminding me this here today!July 17, 2013 – 10:51 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Jessica,
    I agree hurray for Ryan’s mom! I hope more talks like this happen and plan to have the same one in a few years (Dana, if Ryan’s mom would like to share what she said, I’d love to hear it).
    —
    Kerri,
    Ditto.
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    Jessica Smock,
    I wish more kids would have this experience, too.
    —
    Janine,
    I love that they accepted him!
    —July 17, 2013 – 11:13 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Jessica – thank you! Ryan’s mom is awesome.

    Kerri – I adore you too. And you’re right, the whole posse rocks – it is a great group of boys.

    Jessica Smock – Both of my kids were lucky enough to have that first grade teacher. She was one of the best in a school full of great teachers.

    Janine – You’re right – there are so many great kids out there, and they don’t get the mentions they deserve!

    Kristi – Thanks for letting me share my story. I hope you don’t mind my responding to the comments, it’s a habit I don’t want to break!July 17, 2013 – 12:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kim - I loved this story – thank you for sharing. I love when kids learn early in life that people are all different and that isn’t a bad thing!!July 17, 2013 – 12:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - If only more kids were as open-minded and accepting as your son James. What a wonderful post, showing that just a little empathy and understanding goes a long, long way. Your story gives so many of us hope — that our own children with special needs will have meaningful friendships and people who “have their back” throughout their lives.July 17, 2013 – 1:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Dana, so good to see you here and I think your post is what Our Land is all about. The way James and the other kids never questioned Ryan’s belonging with them is how it should be and you found the perfect words to voice this. I love this series, I love the writers you introduce every week, Kristi, and I love how this post made me feel!July 17, 2013 – 1:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Dana, you wrote this so beautifully that I saw Ryan the way I *should* be seeing him – as a person first. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing people through their conditions and you did a marvellous job of writing this.

    Your son is a credit to you. I can offer no higher praise.July 17, 2013 – 1:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - I adore you, Miss Kristi, and I adore Dana, so to have you both in the same spot was just awesome. What a wonderful, sweet post. I think so many people can learn from this!July 17, 2013 – 3:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Wonderful. James is simply awesome! My Scarlet has a very close friend with autism. She has no clue and to be honest, I don’t really either, but then again I don’t live with him and see what his parents see. I hope she grows up as well-adjusted as James. I really do. It’s a tough world out there and I know she will suffer at times and I hope that she won’t add to anyone else’s suffering.July 17, 2013 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Kim – Thank you! Meeting and knowing Ryan has been so great for my son in so many ways.
    Emily – you’re right, a little empathy goes a long way; thank you for your kind words!
    Katia – It was a feel-good post to write, too. I’ve always wanted to write about the boys, and Krist’s series was the perfect place to do it!
    Lizzi – I can’t tell you how wonderful your comment made me feel. Thank you.
    Shay – Adoration back at ya – thank you!
    Tamara – It’s been a joy to watch the boys’ friendship change and grow as they have matured. I hope Scarlet’s friendship continues – it is such a blessing for both kids.July 17, 2013 – 3:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden spoons - That’s so awesome!! I love this story. Our world needs more kids like James! I hope that, if given the opportunity, my girls would be just a s accepting of someone with different abilities!July 17, 2013 – 6:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - This is such an amazing post. I wish I knew what she said. I am working on a letter to give all the other moms of our homeschooling group about Isaiah. I don’t know how to communicate to them that his differences are because of a disorder. That he’s still a kid who loves to play and have fun, but sometimes he gets overwhelmed and over stimulated. I want them to have patience without seeing him as different or an outsider. Ryan is a very lucky boy to have your son!July 17, 2013 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Lisa- my guess is your girls would be accepting – I think it’s innate, and kids unlearn it as they get older.
    Jen – I will ask Ryan’s mom if she remembers what she said. It was so long ago! But I know her talk with the kids really paved the way for accepting Ryan for who is he, and looking past the differences to see the witty, fun, and happy kid who could be their friend.July 17, 2013 – 10:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - This post made me think of my son. He does not have a diagnosis outside of his ADD, but he has always been suspected of being on the spectrum. I hope that he can someday find some friends who just accept him for who he is. Thank you for sharing this Dana, and thank you Kristi for continuing to host this series!July 17, 2013 – 11:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Such a lovely story! You should be so proud of the compassionate soon you are raising.July 17, 2013 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Ilene - I love this post so much! Especially the sentiment that not everyone needs to be just like you to be your friend. I love that as young children James was able to appreciate what made Ryan unique. If all of us could only maintain the ability to embrace that as we got older.July 18, 2013 – 8:36 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - I love this post. I hope they stay friends, too…it sounds like they will. :)-AshleyJuly 18, 2013 – 8:48 amReplyCancel

  • Mo at Mocadeaux - Kristi, love this series!

    And Dana, what a beautiful story of true friendship. I think all these boys are lucky because they clearly live in homes where kindness and respect are valued. Even as the members of the posse branch out in different directions, the comfort of friendship and acceptance will follow Ryan throughout his life.July 18, 2013 – 10:59 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Wow, Dana. This made me want to cry. You must be so proud of your son. It makes me sad to say that his character is extraordinary, you know what I mean? I wish that everyone was as loving, brave, and accepting as your son. I wish that it wasn’t notable, that he wasn’t outstanding or out of the ordinary. But it is, and at the very least, I am happy that there are kids like yours in the world. And happy for you, because you are obviously an excellent mother who is very grateful for her incredible son.July 18, 2013 – 3:36 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - Chills.

    I pray that I’m raising my sons in a way that they truly know that your friends don’t have to be just like you, and to know that even as you get older, you will always have your friend’s backs.July 18, 2013 – 7:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Sarah – I hope your son finds friends as great as the boys in my community – we are very fortunate.
    Deb – Thank you! I’m very proud of my boy.
    Ilene – If only…and hopefully these boys will.
    Ashley – They just hung out together today, so I hope they will too!
    Mo – You’re so right – beautifully said.
    Stephanie – I know exactly what you mean. The amazing thing is that in that group of boys, James is not extraordinary – all the kids are just regular boys who love being pals.
    Anita – You just raise them the best you can and hope it sticks, right? That’s all we can do.July 18, 2013 – 7:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Melissa - This story makes me Incredibly happy! I have a 17 yr old nephew who is autistic, and sadly he doesn’t have any friends. He never found that special person who would accept him as he is. His only friend is his 3 yr old sister. My sister had to pull him out of public school in middle school because of bullying. She placed him into a private catholic school where he endured that same bullying. After a year of that she pulled him out of school to do virtual schooling where he wouldn’t be tormented. It breaks my heart that he doesn’t have any normalcy of a teenage life. He’s always at home. Always!July 19, 2013 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

  • Leah Elizabeth Locklear - Hello Dana thank you for sharing this inpspirational story. I found you through #LOBS! It’s a wonderful thing when people from two differnt walks of life can join together and form a bond! What a wonderful story! ~Leah~July 19, 2013 – 11:50 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - So beautiful! Goosebumps from this point on ” But as the kids approached adolescence, the boys maintained their friendships…” I would hope that my son would be a James for someone.July 20, 2013 – 10:30 amReplyCancel

  • Joy - So beautiful! I just love this post!July 23, 2013 – 2:42 amReplyCancel

  • Jak - Thank you for sharing this story, Dana. It’s incredibly touching.
    –
    I really think his mother going into class to talk to the other students was a big factor. The younger the awareness the better, so the likelihood of negative perceptions developing is lessened. I’m glad your son is still friends with him, and I hope they continue that friendship throughout the years!
    –
    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJuly 23, 2013 – 9:08 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Melissa – I’m sorry your nephew has struggled to make friends. I hope he will make a connection – it only takes one.
    Leah – Thank you! The boys are an inspiration; I smile every time I see them together.
    Kenya – “that my son would be a James for someone…” That is the best compliment for my boy – thank you!
    Joy – thank you for reading!
    Jak – I completely agree about Ryan’s mom’s talk being a game changer. And the boys had a sleepover two nights ago, so their friendship is still going strong!July 24, 2013 – 5:46 pmReplyCancel

Welcome to my life as it was from 1990 to 1994, friends! Next week, we’ll take a look at finally maturing a bit (I didn’t) from 1995 to 1999. Ahhh, the early 90’s. 1990 to 1994: grunge, ripped Levi 501’s, a trip to Mexico, the bar at 11:30pm, troll dolls and an attitude. Huh. Let’s see. I’m […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • karen - OMG…I remember the clothes, the hair, the attitude…what was I thinking? LOL…

    thanks for sharing and I know if some photos of me ever got out…I would be mortified.July 16, 2013 – 6:28 amReplyCancel

  • clark - (oh man! I am a decade early with my clever little Kristi and Jen sub-plot!! You may not visit the Doctrine until I adjust for the time.)

    “Hey! what the hell are you staring at?!? this is a private conversation ‘tween me and the girl… buzz off!!”

    (talk about balance of the universe and karma and shit… but I think I did manage to not go and look at *your* first version of last week’s Post (or maybe it was the week before)….see?? I didn’t look then…)

    (ya wanna tell these geeks to move along? man, that what I get for having one the popular girls for a friend…no damn privacy) ( I think I’ll clip my ‘episode’ and save it for the 2010s)

    (and for god’s sake don’t tell Jen)

    “Hey gimme some room, get the hell out of my way!!”July 16, 2013 – 7:29 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I have still have such a soft spot for this decade, because I pretty much went from high school to college at this point in my life and I too had major attitude at this point in my life. Such great music still and I still listen to Nirvana, when in doubt. And I probably have a picture of me somewhere doing similar to you in that last one just because I could!!July 16, 2013 – 7:36 amReplyCancel

  • Dream - Such a great, thought-provoking post! I completely understand what you mean about the attitude of that time of life. Sometimes, attitude is everything. I acted like a shark when I was really only a guppy. Its almost embarrassing looking back and knowing what I know now.July 16, 2013 – 8:38 amReplyCancel

  • GirlieOnTheEdge - Kick ass post my friend, kick ass lol. I am in awe that you included Sir-Mix-A-Lot! I was working as manager of a music store back then and I so remember when BGB came out. We could not keep either the single or the cd in stock. Makes me smile/laugh every time I hear the song – talk about a hook….

    *Yes, awesome!!July 16, 2013 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

  • clark - damn! I didn’t save or screenshot or any-damn-thing to preserve the original Post!

    (but then again, I am probably paying, karma-wise, for the 3 or 4 record albums I got people to ruin by steaming the cover of the album (John and Yoko…long apocryphal story).

    I will being putting up a back-dated, life-stage correct story in my Post. (now that I have some visuals).July 16, 2013 – 9:59 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - WOW! This is epic. I remember all these cos it was when I was first exposed to radio that wasn’t classic fm (which is good, but different).

    But then in 1991 I was only 8, soooooo….

    😛

    Guess that makes me the bratty kid of the gang here *wonders whether to sing about Clark and anybody up a tree…*

    Can I play with you guys? Pleeeeeease? I found some awesome NEW shiny toys for ya:

    The NEW SLTS – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNUTYHJrutw

    The NEW Gangster’s paradise – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCgJuly 16, 2013 – 10:10 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Liew - Yes, the 90s were so fun, I am a true G & R gal. Thanks for the memories! http://petsawarenews.com/?p=388July 16, 2013 – 10:20 amReplyCancel

  • Tatum - I was in HS and College for the 90’s. For pics of that error, just place your black box here.

    I’m very impressed with your Gangster Paradise (Coolio was so COOL) prowess. I can’t remember the words to any song…seriously, I’m lucky I can sing the ABC’s.

    However, this gem for the early 90’s…well, it doesn’t take much memorization.


    July 16, 2013 – 11:37 amReplyCancel

  • Tatum - That should say era, not error…but either is correct in this case.July 16, 2013 – 1:11 pmReplyCancel

  • troy P. - I still remember seeing the Sir Mix A Lot video for the first time, and my Roman Catholic mind short-circuited as I pondered, “Can they really show that on tv???”

    Hey, I’m just relating – stop flipping me off already!July 16, 2013 – 1:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Well at first you lost me with Star Trek, NG. I would have totally respected you if you had said Seinfeld. Then I read your cartoons and totally remembered Data and Captain Picard – so then I felt small because that means I watched it too. LOL to Coby. I couldn’t have worn the shirt either. I didn’t inherit “back” from my mom. I got my dad’s. So in my 40’s I have one which I kinda like if I can find the right jeans to hold it together. But as soon as a lose the fat I need to lose there goes my a$$ets!July 16, 2013 – 2:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - I can totally vouch for the 3rd paragraph and the last photo, hehe. I shall not say whether or not you held that pose for the entire first half of the decade.

    I kinda wish we could rewind and watch ST:TNG together.July 16, 2013 – 3:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Love the ripped jeans, the mullets, the REM, the Nirvana. SUCH a cool decade!!!July 16, 2013 – 4:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - This is such a cool post. Probably I just think that because you sound so like I was in the 80s. Except I never had a job like driving limos – wowee! And I never went ice-skating or smoked cigarettes. Okay so maybe not so similar… but the feel of it, that attitude – yeah I can relate.
    I love your cartoon drawings, too.July 16, 2013 – 5:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - You were SO awesome in the 90s! I loved the 90s! And i’m sorry, but how f*cking cute were YOU? If I’d known you then, I would have worn ripped jeans and smoked cigarettes with you (OK, fast forward just a FEW years for me for the cigarettes. 1997, maybe?) and we would have been cool together. And Everybody Hurts is still one of my all time favorite songs and makes me want to rip out my own heart. I cry almost every time I hear it. Sniff.July 16, 2013 – 6:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Right now I have livin a gangsta’s paradise looping in my head. Thanks for that.July 16, 2013 – 7:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - Kristi, I worship you. You ARE a badass now and forever. I think I would have been afraid of you if I knew you way back when. PLUS you were a hottie. Your boyfriend with the tank top, priceless. Were you drunkskating too?
    AND Tasha and DATA??@@!!! I really couldn’t take that episode, and the whole idea of their relationship. UGH. Does that make me racist? OR maybe I will be in the future?? Do you think they were high? REALLY? Maybe it was you? LOL love you so much awesome list!July 16, 2013 – 9:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Lance - Love the pictures. At least there was Nirvana here.

    I started college in 1988, ended it in late 1992, then spent my 20s in the decade doing dumb dumb dumb stuff, like marrying a punk rock drummer in 1998 (divorced since).

    good stuffJuly 16, 2013 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Slu - Wow!!! What a story!!! lol…

    Seriously… What a story!!! And Nirvana & R.E.M to boot. Ha.

    Really enjoyed, SluJuly 17, 2013 – 12:03 amReplyCancel

  • Middleage Monologues - Ah man…I almost put Baby Got Back on my list and you get extra cool points for putting Coolio on your list like I did! HAAHA! Oh and THANK YOU for keeping it real about the old cigs…we all smoked them…I know that I did…like they were going out of style! BTW…I always enjoy your art in your posts and I was laughing my ass off at all of you sitting in that Papasan Chair! Too CLASSIC!July 17, 2013 – 12:34 amReplyCancel

  • Tracy@CrazyAsNormal - I can’t even comment on your music because STAR TREK! I’m geeking out a little bit right now. Sorry. :/July 17, 2013 – 12:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - Love those photos. Just awesome. And Gangsta’s Paradise? Hellz yeah. I listened to that a lot when I was studying abroad in Rome. It played over and over for some reason. Never knew the words, though. Guess I wasn’t as cool as you. >:)July 17, 2013 – 1:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Love it! Love the stories along with the songs. Love the troll, the pictures, everything! I felt like I was back in the early 90s reading this – for real. And now I’m 20 years older. Holy crap.July 17, 2013 – 3:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Donetta - This was an awesome list. Cool stories too. I remember wearing the Levi’s in High School except we ‘pegged’ our pants at the ankles. Meaning no matter how skinny the bottoms were, we would pull all the material to one side, fold it over, then roll it up, but only twice so it would hold. lol. These were my High School – 90 to 94 years. Later in 1997 I purchased my first pair of bell bottoms, much to my grandmother’s dismay, who had two daughters and had already seen this style. lol. I still love REM. And I live in a very rural area, population 400, and I know all the words to Gangster’s Paradise. It somehow sounded so hard core to know this song.July 17, 2013 – 10:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Jak - Hmm you were pretty hardcore in the 90s! All that attitude, Gangsta’s Paradise, and ripped jeans. The trend was so amazing they eventually recreated it later on jeans pre-made >...> on your climb to the top of the limo business dun Dun DUN!
    –
    Great music selections and I’m happy you’ve embraced your “back” and would proudly wear a shirt saying so!
    –
    I love your drawings!
    –
    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJuly 23, 2013 – 9:34 amReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - The “make it so” drinking game, lol! Ah the memories!February 17, 2015 – 2:02 pmReplyCancel

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