Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Pilgrims. Dorky clothing and shattered illusions. And a defeated pizza boy.

When I think of Pilgrims, I think of dorky clothing, shattered illusions and a defeated pizza boy. If you’re thinking something along the lines of “What now, Kristi? More dumbassery, hijinx and single-year shenanigans?” Well, yeah, sortof. I told you that 37 years is a lot of years. Anyway, in case you were wondering, I know what Pilgrims are. I even Googled the difference between them and Puritans to make sure I knew which was which. I won’t bore you with the details because you, too, have Google at your fingertips and frankly, the details of history that does not include me isn’t really my specialty.

Dorky clothing.
This was popular apparel, apparently. I think that this realistic rendition of historical dress for Pilgrims speaks for itself.

Pilgrim Ass Sweating

 

Shattered Illusions.

When I was a child, and heard about Plymouth Rock, I assumed that it was majestic and incredible.

Imagined Plymouth Rock-1

 

In 2006, I saw Plymouth Rock in real life. It’s not majestic, or incredible. In fact, it’s so small that they built a wall around it. I’m assuming that this is so a bunch of drunken frat boys are not able to haul it away. Because it’s small enough to haul away.

Real Plymouth Rock

I don’t know who that girl is wondering the same thing that I wondered, but my guess is that pretty much everybody is surprised and disappointed when they see the Real Plymouth Rock for the first (and last because why go back?) time.

Defeated Pizza Boy.
When I hear the word “Pilgrims,” which reminds me of Plymouth Rock, I also think about a defeated pizza boy. My friend Jen and I were in Boston for a work trip and ended up at a bar across the parking lot from our hotel after a hard day of work manning a golf tournament.

Anyway, fun was had and at some point during the evening, we met a pizza boy at the bar. He promised to meet us at the hotel later and bring free pizza. The thought of free pizza goes down really well when you’ve been drinking in a bar with work friends for six or seven hours. Anyway, my friend and I headed back to the hotel at one point. The one that was in the same parking lot as the bar. We got lost. So lost, in fact, that we had to sit down. In the parking lot. By the time we got to the hotel and found him waiting hopefully with his free pizza, we had to send him on his way. Turns out, he was hoping that the pizza wouldn’t actually be free, if you know what I mean. Obviously too tired to have any type of give-and-take exchange, being as we had to sit down in the parking lot to rest on the way back and all, meant that his hopes were defeated. He took his free pizza with him.

It was a big parking lot. One could understand getting lost in it.

It was a big parking lot. One could understand getting lost in it.

Do you remember learning about Plymouth Rock and Pilgrims? What did you think?

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.

I chose: Pilgrims. Dorky clothing and shattered illusions. And a defeated pizza boy.

The original topic was what we’re thankful for being as Turkey Day is next week in the US and all, but knowing that some of us also participate in Ten Things of Thankful, created by the fab Lizzi the Considerer, Kate from Another Bottle of Whine gave an alternate topic, thank goodness.

Your fab hosts: Janine: Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic Kate: Can I get another bottle of whine? Stephanie: Mommy, for Real me: finding ninee


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Janine Huldie - I totally was history buff in my youth, but not proud to say I don’t remember all that much about Plymouth Rock or the Pilgrims. Reading your post, I kept thinking, man I just totally cannot recall much about this. So, now that I feel like an idiot and god help me when I do have to help my girls someday with this, because it is just gone and lost in space somewhere for me. But then I again I taught math not history as a teacher!! 🙂November 21, 2013 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    Were you really? I was always the NOT history buff. At all. Trust me when I say that Plymouth Rock was less – in every way – than I was expecting. It’s SMALL.November 21, 2013 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - I felt the same way about the rock when I finally saw it. Is Plymouth Rock a metaphor for adulthood? Cause when I saw it I was 16 and simultaneously put in a dunkin donuts coma from their over abundance in the state. I’ve been in a DD coma ever since I became a working adult.November 21, 2013 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Jean,
    Thank you! It wasn’t just me then? See? They totally wrote the history books wrong.November 21, 2013 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - I’ve never been to Plymouth Rock – thanks for saving me the trip! Thanks for the smiles, too.November 21, 2013 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Sarah,
      Plymouth Rock was a bummer. The end, and you’re welcome. Thank you for being so awesome 🙂November 21, 2013 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I did not know Plymouth Rock was that small. My husband probably knows this though since he’s been a history teacher for 32 years. I let him be responsible for knowledge that like you, doesn’t actually pertain to me. 🙂 Happy Thanksgiving to you and your lovely family, Kristi.November 21, 2013 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Linda,
      My husband probably knows, too, but I’m no longer asking, because hello what’s the point! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your amazing family right back, Linda. xoNovember 21, 2013 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • jamie@southmainmuse - That brings back memories of seeing Plymouth Rock for me. I guess I was a teenager. Obviously this was some token stone that they carved the date into. I think they first landed on the hook of Massachusetts. And then went inland to find something less harsh when the weather started turning a bit nippy. Love your illustrations.November 21, 2013 – 11:14 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Jamie,
      For real? So this isn’t The Plymouth Rock? Like it maybe was bigger????November 21, 2013 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - Hahahaha, that ass sweating pilgrim woman rocks!

    I’ve never seen Plymouth rock because if I ever have time to travel east, it’s going to be towards a beach in the southwest and not to some stupid historical location like your rock. I did see the Alamo in Texas and it was also a total disappointment. Not as small as your rock, but still sort of lame.November 21, 2013 – 11:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Don,
    I went for a work trip or I’d never have chosen it, for real. I also saw the whatever it is Custard’s Last Stand in Montana (??) and it sucked ass too. Thanks for getting it.November 22, 2013 – 12:06 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Mmmkay, I’m just gonna ask the thing everyone else somehow missed – at what point did you go GINGER?

    Aaaaaaaaaand Plymouth Rock looks like a total let-down. So much so that I’m barely even interested in why it’s important. I assume it’s something to do with something about pilgrims. Google is tooo faaaaaar away. I’d need a sit-down first.

    But that it’s so small and disappointing makes me wonder if it’s a bit like Stonehenge, which is pretty AWESOME AND MAJESTIC in every photo ever of it, and then when I’ve driven past it, looks diddy and really not that big of a deal. So I’ve never gone.November 22, 2013 – 1:55 amReplyCancel

  • Brittnei - Every time I come to your site I’m always literally laughing out loud. 🙂 I bypassed this question but now I’m thinking that I’m glad you chose it because you made this fun. I definitely thought like you did about the Pilgrims and the Puritans. Funny thing is, after you mentioned it, I really had to rethink if I was mistakenly interchanging the two. I had never seen Plymouth Rock before in person, but you are right! That little rock is rather disappointing. I couldn’t wait to find out where the pizza boy fit in. Funny story to look back on and laugh about with a friend. Goodness do I have a ton of those. 🙂November 22, 2013 – 2:58 amReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - How was that rock even noticeable enough to warrant a name? I think I have a bigger rock in my front yard. I snickered at “so drunken frat boys don’t haul it away” INDEED! Hahahahahaha 😀
    Your defeated pizza boy picture made me howl!! LOVE IT!! –LisaNovember 22, 2013 – 6:11 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - I am DYING laughing at this post!! Oh sweet baby Jesus, your description of Plymouth Rock (because I have seen it, too!) almost made me spew coffee on my keyboard!!-AshleyNovember 22, 2013 – 7:22 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - Your drawings just kill me!! 🙂November 22, 2013 – 8:02 amReplyCancel

  • Tracie - I remember so clearly the year we got brand new history textbooks that were big on using real photographs in them. The day I reached the Plymouth Rock picture was so very disappointing. I don’t think I’ll ever make the trip to actually see it in person. I have rocks bigger than that in my yard.November 22, 2013 – 8:17 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lizzi Considerer…
    Um, sweets. Maybe they read the line “I don’t know who that girl is wondering the same thing that I did, but I think pretty much everybody is surprised when they see the Real Plymouth Rock.” and didn’t actually miss anything? That girl is not me ;D
    Stonehenge looks tiny? That’s a bummer actually. Figures.November 22, 2013 – 8:53 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Brittnei,
    HAHA thanks so much! Glad you got a chuckle!November 22, 2013 – 8:54 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Dose girls,
    You rock. Thanks for the excellent comments. I feel all special and warm fuzzy that both of you came by today.November 22, 2013 – 8:55 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Joy,
    Thanks for coming by! Hey you never did use the ones I sent you for your story. You should!November 22, 2013 – 8:55 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Tracie,
    HAHA to having rocks bigger than that in your yard! A total disappointment for sure!November 22, 2013 – 8:56 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - Wow, you are right!!! I am such a loser because I forgot it and you carved out time out of your busy schedule to draw them for me…. I will use them, pinky swear, and let you know!! Sorry!! *totally embarrassed now*November 22, 2013 – 9:03 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Joy,
    Hey! No worries at all my lovely friend! I forgot about them too until you left that comment! And um. I think it’s fairly obvious that they didn’t take very long 😉
    Please don’t be embarrassed!!!November 22, 2013 – 9:07 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Ha!Ha!Ha! Never actually been to Plymouth Rock, but agree it appears very disappointing. Funny story -last night my first grader was telling me all they had learned about the Mayflower in school that day. You know what her biggest factoid was? Some kid had asked how they went to the bathroom on the ship because they were on the ship for so long. Apparently, they had a discussion about not having running water back then and using a pot to poo in. That was her big take away front the lesson – they pooped in a pot and threw it in the ocean!! Then, she said they had to draw a picture about what they learned. I said “please tell me you didn’t draw a picture of someone using the poop pot!” She said that she knew that was inappropriate (thank goodness!) so she just drew a picture of herself on the ship being bored! 🙂November 22, 2013 – 9:18 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - You had me at the pilgrim drawing and plymouth rock — up until I read your post, I had no idea that rock was so lame either!!November 22, 2013 – 9:25 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - Is it possible that Plymouth rock was huge and the pilgrims chiseled it away to build houses or something? What a letdown. And no pizza to boot. Props to you for doing the pilgrim prompt – you entertained me and educated me at the same time. Well done!November 22, 2013 – 10:18 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica Smock - Your drawings are amazing! As an English and history teacher around Boston, I’ve been on countless field trips to Plymouth Rock. Let me tell you: the children share your disappointment. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “This is it??” I’ve also been on field trips to the replica ship from the Boston Tea Party. The kids thinks it’s lame that it’s so small. Actually, nearly every colonial field trip is met with pretty much the same response.November 22, 2013 – 10:20 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Well, I didn’t even know Plymouth Rock was preserved. It IS disappointing.November 22, 2013 – 10:22 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - But..but… We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock! Plymouth Rock landed on US!
    Well. I guess that wouldn’t be much of a problem, since Plymouth Rock is a mere pebble. I agree – thanks for saving me the trip!November 22, 2013 – 10:34 amReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Whoa you and Jen are so lucky. That parking lot combined with the extremely unfortunate reality that is Plymouth Rock could have really done you in. How you ever managed to cope is beyond me. Just the size of that parking lot would have done me in. I can totally relate. Love that you covered the Pilgrim angle as well. Heading over to Google now to check out the difference between those Pilgrims and Puritans …November 22, 2013 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Real Life Parenting - This post cracked me up. No pizza exchange coupons after getting lost in a parking lot … best pilgrim story ever!! lolNovember 22, 2013 – 11:32 amReplyCancel

  • Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe - OK, so your post was totally funny, with the illustrations, etc., but yup, mine included how absolutely disappointed I was at seeing the Plymouth Rock and how small it is – right up there with seeing the Hope Diamond for the first time. 🙁November 22, 2013 – 11:33 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Chris,
      Yes, seeing Plymouth Rock for the first time was SO disappointing! I love that we both wrote about the same thing!
      —
      Katia,
      Aw. Thanks, love! You’re the bestest.
      —
      NBTB,
      I did a euphemism? Huh. 😉
      —
      Jesscia,
      I haven’t been to the aquarium in Boston but LOVE aquariums. I’ll have to remember that!
      —
      April,
      Yes, check it off your list. And yeah, poor pizza guy. But also poor me for not getting to eat free pizza.
      —November 22, 2013 – 3:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - You know? This was one of my favourites by you. The illustrations? The simplicity, the humour? So gripping! You are SO talented, my friend.November 22, 2013 – 11:36 amReplyCancel

  • nothingbythebook - Nice work with the euphemism.November 22, 2013 – 12:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - I remember going to see Plymouth Rock at some point in elementary school. I was really disappointed, too. You’re better off going to the Museum of Science or aquarium in Boston. Much cooler.November 22, 2013 – 1:11 pmReplyCancel

  • April - I’m not sure why, Kristi, but I never thought about the “Rock” behind Plymouth Rock, yet when I read it, I also though it would be something memorable to see. I guess I’ll check that off my list for when I come visit the area. Poor pizza guy!November 22, 2013 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
    HAHAHA I was actually thinking the same thing about “ew, I bet they threw it in the ocean! Gross!” I’m glad she didn’t draw a picture of that (I totally would have. In fact, can I?). Thanks so much for the funny story!November 22, 2013 – 3:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
    Yup. It is totally lame. Unbelievably lame.
    —
    Dana,
    Hey! Maybe so! I hadn’t thought about it like that before. Huh. I am not Googling this. I’m not Googling this. I’m not.November 22, 2013 – 3:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Jessica,
    That must have been a bit of a bummer, actually. Taking a bunch of kids on a field trip to learn something – they’re overly excited to be doing something new and different and then see dumb old Plymouth Rock. Sigh.
    —
    Sarah,
    Doesn’t it sortof make you wonder WHY it’s preserved, now? Huh.
    —
    Tamara,
    You’re welcome! Happy to have been of service. Although you could probably take a really cool photo of it and make it look more impressive than it is. So there’s that.
    —
    Kelly,
    HAHA thanks for understanding how navigating the parking lot was too much for two girls at night!
    —
    Real Life Parenting,
    HA Thanks, friend! No pizza for me! He didn’t get anything either though. Jerk! (him, not you).November 22, 2013 – 3:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Oh my GOD, these are some of my favorite pictures from you ever!!! This made me laugh myself silly, which is a hard prospect, considering how whiny, sick, tired, and crabby I am. Thank you for making my day. Wish I could hug you!November 22, 2013 – 3:45 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Stephanie,
      So glad I made you laugh but sorry to hear that you’ve been sick and tired recently. Hope you feel better, so soon! (sick here, too, and it blows)
      —Lizzi,
      mmm hmmm….
      —-
      Kenya,
      OMG sorry that Christopher saw it and realized he saw a bad word 🙁 but also glad that you enjoyed the pre-spanx spanx feeling because EW.
      I know! I think they did say that they landed on it. Like it was big…
      —
      Chirs,HAHA to pizza exchanges and sweaty asses, my friend. Thanks for telling me that I’m not alone in the parking lot fiasco.
      —
      Natlie,
      Xo and thanks for getting it. Plymouth Rock – true stuff.November 23, 2013 – 1:07 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - I guess that COULD be it…

    😉

    Yeah, ‘henge is a rip-off. Totally over-hyped.November 22, 2013 – 4:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - Oh dear, you got lost on a parking lot? How funny, I haven’t been that drunk yet, I guess.. Or never had to look for my hotel when I was deadly drunk 😉November 22, 2013 – 4:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Christopher looked over my shoulder when I laughed. I was here earlier and then he says, “Wait did I just see a bad word?” He was supposed to be doing his spelling homework. LOL!

    Anyway… now I’m back, he’s outside. The first thing I laughed at was imagining that your pilgrim lady had spanks on when she said that.

    Okay really to Plymouth rock? Wasn’t there some reference to landing on it? Sadly I don’t know my history very well. I hated it. Now I read non-fiction like a nerd.

    Side note: I’m not getting ready to order pizza.November 22, 2013 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Oh you are just SO FREAKING FUNNY!!! I laughed SO hard at all of this!! I would TOTALLY have a sweaty ass too… and ahem, I believe I have gotten lost in the parking lot similar to that one… and um… perhaps I have had a few exchanges for pizza as well.

    😉

    Girlfriend- been there done ALL of that!!! lol WAIT- I haven’t done the pilgrim thing… never. Thank God.November 22, 2013 – 4:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - I heard that about Plymouth Rock! WTH???
    Lol, anyway, I love your pilgrim free-association. 🙂November 22, 2013 – 7:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Forever Five Blog - Getting lost in the parking lot is such a carefree, the-sky-is-the-limit kind of thing to do. I LOVE that I too have been lost in a parking lot (or a few?). The drunk moment(s) when I was actually lost were so-so, but the story is always GREAT (as your story here confirms)! Now that I have 3 kids, I constantly lose my car but I’m always sober when it happens now. And the kids don’t seem that impressed as we wander from block to block searching for our car because mommy can’t remember where she parked:/.November 22, 2013 – 8:16 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
      You’re so right that it is such a carefree thing that never happens once we have kids!!! Also yes, the stories are always better told later. Especially when reflected on the next day…hungover or ugly.
      —
      Bianca,
      I prefer the majestic interpretation as well!
      —
      Jen,
      Poor pizza guy. You probably know so much more about Thanksgiving than I do with homeschooling!!! So much more. TTTx10November 23, 2013 – 1:09 amReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - Had NO idea plymouth rock was so dinky! I prefer your majestic interpretation!November 22, 2013 – 9:56 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - I love you for how funny you can make things. Poor pizza guy…
    The history of Thanksgiving has been quite a big thing at our house since homeschooling. Meanwhile I think I have learned more in the past two years about Thanksgiving then I did the 41 leading up to it. The history really is fascinating.November 22, 2013 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Would you believe I never learnt about Plymouth Rock at school at all? That might have something to do with being Australian, I guess. I was surprised when I finally saw a picture of it too .. I was expecting a giant monolith. Love the pizza boy story. They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Guess there’s no such thing as free pizza either! 🙂November 23, 2013 – 1:50 amReplyCancel

  • Shay - This whole post made me laugh out loud! Is that really Plymouth Rock? And I once dated this guy who took me on a trip to Vegas. I remember telling my boss, “He’s giving me a free trip to Vegas!” and my boss going, “Oh, Shay. It’s not going to be free.” I laughed so hard, but this was seriously a nice guy. I did end up skanking out with him, though…it’s just who I was back then. HahaNovember 23, 2013 – 10:55 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Lizzy,
      It actually makes sense that you never learned about Plymouth Rock at all. No free pizza is a bummer, no?
      —
      —
      Shay,
      YES! That’s really it!!!
      HAHA to your Vegas trip! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? I love Vegas by the way…
      —November 23, 2013 – 3:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - I absolutely love your Pilgrim clothing drawing – yes, I’d say that’s about right. And Plymouth Rock is indeed a pretty big letdown. I always thought it was big like the old insurance commercial with “get a piece of the rock” in the jingle. But that was the rock of Gibraltar, not Plymouth Rock. So not the same. But still.November 23, 2013 – 3:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - Your drawings are the BOMB! I LOVE lady pilgrims with sweaty asses – LOL. I laughed so many times at this. Can’t wait to see your TToT.

    I remember zero. Zilch. Nada from history. I recall phrases like Plymouth rock, but I assumed that was a euphemism for the blue balls they had after they got off the ship after all those months.
    har har har

    poor pizza boys and their dashed dreams….November 23, 2013 – 5:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Menopausal Mother - Kristi, I just love, love, LOVE your posts! PLEASE tell me you are considering putting some sort of book together with your posts and illustrations! I swear, every time I come over here for a read, I laugh like a maniac and my husband thinks I’ve overdosed on my Prozac. Another awesome post, my friend!November 23, 2013 – 6:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Alexa - I was just as astonished when I saw Plymouth Rock for the first time. I mean, how on earth did that even catch their attention enough to name it??? And I have to say, I am really glad fashion styles have changed!November 25, 2013 – 10:19 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I think my family were Pilgrims, which explains quite a lot and not in a good way. Also, I want pizza now.November 25, 2013 – 2:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Your pictures always make me smile or crack up! But, Pilgrims with eyes like those shadowy creatures from the movie “Ghost”??! Please tell me a rough day for you isn’t having to man a golf tournament very often (dripping with sarcasm lol)? I haven’t been to a bar in forever. Does that pizza gig work on girls, Kristi?? Maybe I should make some of my food porn from home. Take it, along with Phoenix, and go cruise the bar scene! I’m soooo with you on Plymouth Rock. I still take the stance that it shrunk over time 🙂February 6, 2014 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

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