I wasn’t planning on taking the easy way out. I must’ve looked at 2,003 photos until I came across one that made me pause. It’s the one photo that makes me wonder what this blog stands for today.
Before that one, I’d stumbled on a photo of Tucker as a toddler, twirling his hair. It stood out because it was just a few nights ago that I took a video of him doing the same thing, wondering whether his hair twirling will be something that endears him to a future spouse or child — or whether he’ll become aware of it, and stop.
No, it’s not THIS photo, but this one led me to it…
.jpg "hair twirling and The One Photo That Makes Me Wonder What This Blog Stands For")
The hair twirling one led to one of my favorite photos ever. It eventually inspired my Our Land series.
Anyway, all this got me thinking about why I started this blog. While I remember each nuance of the feelings I had almost six years ago, when I think about them, it’s easy to forget those times on a day-to-day basis.
The everyday often replaces the memories it seems.
Thinking about this one photo made me wonder what this blog is for today. It used to be for finding other mamas in my Middle World boat. Back then, I stayed up until 2am, fueled with purpose and passion. Finding community and sharing Tucker’s Tuckerness was my reason to write.
One day, we decided it was autism. And we were okay. I wrote a post about the 10 things autism and special needs parents wish you knew. We went to and graduated from Preschool Autism Class. We met friends with similar kids who had quirks like hair-twirling.
Another day, in another year, we decided it wasn’t autism. And we were okay. We were back in the Middle World.
As years passed, Tucker got older. It became less okay to share the things parents relate to, like gagging over toothpaste, running laps, and hair twirling.
Today, I’m not sure what this blog stands for. I really enjoy sharing random stories of life, death, body struggle and mental triumph, but also? I miss the way it used to be a little bit, too.
So, the one photo that makes me wonder what this blog stands for today is at the end of this Land of Empathy and Wonder post. For those of you who’ve been around for a while, you’ll recognize it. Feel free to skip the words if you’ve read it before (if you haven’t, it’s about a world that would be super-cool to live in). The photo of Tucker at the end of it remains one of my favorites photos.
I’m not sure whether I love it so much because he’s so edible and adorable in it, or if it’s a combination of his cuteness and a reminder of the days when I analyzed every.single.thing wondering about how he was feeling and who he might become.
Click here to see the one photo that makes me wonder what this blog stands for today.
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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. As it’s the fourth week of May (whaaaaaa????), my super-cool co-host Kenya G. Johnson of Sporadically Yours and I share a photo and the story behind it. While I didn’t share the one photo that makes me question what this blog stands for today, I put a link to it and talked about it. Winning!
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by Kristi Campbell
Lizzi - Ohhhhh that is an absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS pic of him 😍😍😍 I kind of feel like this blog is about finding your way and making it the best way…at least, that’s a message I often get in your posts 💓💓May 25, 2018 – 5:10 am
Kristi Campbell - Ok that’s something I can get behind for sure. That it’s about finding my way. Finding Ninee. All that. This is good.May 26, 2018 – 10:19 am
Lizzi - Good 😘😘😘May 26, 2018 – 11:56 am
Dana - It’s been so wonderful to watch Tucker grow over the years – through photos, and through your words. Because I have the honor of knowing you in person, I can say that this blog stands for you – as a mother, as a woman, as a compassionate human being. Anyone can relate to your posts; I was not your target audience in the beginning but we still connected.May 25, 2018 – 7:54 am
Kristi Campbell - That’s so sweet! I love that you feel like the posts are relatable. And I love that we know each other in person.May 26, 2018 – 10:25 am
Darshana Suresh - That’s a really cute photo. We all start out with a strong idea in our minds for our blogs and it’s natural for the course to change with time. Nevertheless, we always will find something or the other to keep us going 🙂May 25, 2018 – 8:35 am
Kristi Campbell - Thank you. And you’re right – I guess everybody’s blogs change over time as do our lives. Thanks for the reminder.May 26, 2018 – 10:28 am
Lisa @TheGoldenSpoons - Aw! I love that picture of Tucker and have loved “watching” him grow through your blog. But, I completely understand what you mean about wondering what the purpose is today. I have had a similar struggle as my kids have gotten older and it is harder to share personal things about them. (Today, I shared about a picture that I wouldn’t even put on my blog!) Parenting changes. People change. And, apparently, blogging changes. I havent’ figured out a new purpose for my blog yet – not sure I ever will.May 25, 2018 – 9:02 am
Kristi Campbell - True. Parenting changes. People change. I guess I shouldn’t worry about the point of this blog – it’s here when I want to write and I suppose that’s what counts.May 26, 2018 – 10:29 am
Kenya G. Johnson - I’m not going to cheat and go look at the photo first. I’ll comment “over there”. Anyway, it’s good that your blog stood for something, even though that’s not what you write much about now. I bet people stumble upon Our Land and read posts after posts everyday. Going to look at the picture now to see if I’m right about which one I think it is.May 25, 2018 – 9:13 am
Kristi Campbell - I think it’s good that it used to stand for something too. It’s just weird I guess that I had such a purpose once upon a time that I don’t feel any longer.May 26, 2018 – 10:30 am
Kenya G. Johnson - Comments were closed over there so what I said was “YEP! I was right. I love that photo and his hair. Wow that this was the inspiration to start the Our Land series. Your words from 2013 so hopeful for our real land here in the U.S. but now so sad that it’s 2018 and our land is so much worse than it was five years ago 🙁 The bright spot is the leaps and bounds Tucker has personally made in five years – a youtuber for starters. ;-)”May 25, 2018 – 9:23 am
Kristi Campbell - I didn’t realize comments over there were closed. I’m not sure I did that on purpose. Huh. Awesome that you were right about the photo! I love it. I know what you mean about things being so much worse. Sigh. But yes, Tucker has made SO MUCH progress. It’s mind-blowing really. He’s been bugging me to upload a video we took in March. His YouTube stardom is definitely hindered by a busy mom who can’t bother with posting his latest antics. Shoot – I really should post some new ones.May 26, 2018 – 10:32 am
Debi - I have a hair twirler too! She has incredible curls, and when she was a little bitty one, she used to take the big curl in the front of her forehead and ask me to put it in a ponytail holder so it was always right there for her. She wrapped it around her middle finger and held it over her nose when her thumb was in her mouth. We even named it “the boinger.” That little girl is now 16. She still twirls her hair — though she no longer sucks her thumb — and I find it to be a sweet reminder of the little girl she was.
Also, you know I understand that “in between” land, what I call the “layover in Holland.” W will always have more empathy and generosity because of our experiences there. It made us better people, I think, and I also think that it made our children kinder and more empathetic. What does Tucker say about his history? Does he know? Does he have thoughts about it? It would be interesting to hear!May 25, 2018 – 12:16 pm
Kristi Campbell - That’s so cute that she used to ask you to put the big curl in a ponytail holder. So sweet! LOL to “the boinger.” Awwww to her still doing it too. And yeah, I know you get that in between land and I agree that we’ll have more empathy and generosity because of being there. Regarding his history, Tucker doesn’t say much about it. He asked me a year or two ago why we used to think he might have autism and I just said because when you were three and four, you called water “ah.” As he gets older, I’ll have to ask him more about what he thinks – that’s a good idea for a blog post actually! Thanks 🙂May 26, 2018 – 10:35 am
Emily - Awww…I love both those photos in that post. And yes, I have thought a lot about my blog and what the heck to do with it…mine has evolved — from general musings about raising three boys, to chronicling the dark time (but with humor!) about Little Dude’s cancer treatment and now to I’m not sure what! Considering I rarely post, I think it is currently just there for me for when I feel like writing. Which I guess isn’t a bad thing, but I do sometimes think if I changed the focus again, I might be inspired to write more. Just not sure what that focus should be!!May 25, 2018 – 7:39 pm
Kristi Campbell - I love the photos too. I know your blog has evolved a lot. I guess all of us simply share what’s going on in life today and because kids grow and we grow, that changes. I should probably not worry about it and just use it for when I feel like writing. Having a focus makes it more motivating for sure though….May 26, 2018 – 10:36 am
Pat B - I clicked to read the Land of Empathy and Wonder post. What a wonderful world that would be. I can see how the photo of Tucker at the end would be your favorite. Very cute happy looking little boy.
Thank you and others for sharing experiences with living with children who are on the autism spectrum. I think the sharing is a way to building understanding and acceptance. Most people either have a family member, or a neighbor child, or a classmate of one’s one child who is on the spectrum. You do a lot of good through writing this blog.May 26, 2018 – 12:22 am
Kristi Campbell - Thanks Pat. The Land of Empathy and Wonder would be a great world. Thanks so much for your kind words – I agree that awareness on all the differences people have raises acceptance. I appreciate the reminder.May 26, 2018 – 10:38 am
Allison Smith - Great post, great picture, great question. That’s what I’ve been asking mysey, for a year, about my blog😨. Help!May 29, 2018 – 6:35 am
Kristi Campbell - It’s so hard right? But I can’t give it up!May 29, 2018 – 12:19 pm