Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

The Our Land Series – Humbled

It’s Wednesday and that means that you get a break from reading my drivel because I’m honored to feature another amazing author in today’s Our Land Series. For those of you new to Finding Ninee, it began here because well, of you.  You. You people are amazing.  Today’s post has been authored by Just Jennifer (AKA Jenni, Jen, Jen-Jen, Jeffiner and other names only her true fans should be aware of).  Jeffiner (because that’s my fav) is one of those amazing bloggers who manages to connect with, like, everybody.  She’s an awesome writer and reader of blogs. She has her own perspective. One that’s been changed and perfected (as you’ll see) due to her husband’s need for dialysis due to Type 1 Diabetes, motherhood to two children, and the fact that she’s legally blind.

Humbled

The majority of people in the world never have to admit, or call attention to, their weaknesses.

People who are disabled do. They must cop to what they are unable to do. They are even forced to PROVE what they cannot do in order to receive help or social services.

It is humbling at its best, and humiliating at its worst.

But you know what? Showing weakness is actually a form of strength.

Have you ever noticed that it often takes some kind of struggle, crisis or tragedy to change a person’s perspective toward learning a major life lesson?

To, essentially, suck it up. To gain the strength it takes to pick yourself up and forge ahead.

It’s a bitter truth. Something that each human being has in common. We do not fully appreciate what we have until it is taken away from us.

In my version of Our Land of Empathy and Wonder, disabled people would be seen as the strongest, wisest and perhaps even the most revered in the community. They would be chosen to be the leaders and teachers, and sought out for guidance and wisdom.

Like the first writer in this series so eloquently explained in “The Broken People,” individuals with disabilites teach the world lessons, things that fully able-bodied people tend to take for granted.

Every story of someone overcoming their disability to go on and do the things they want to in life inspires us. The blind man who scaled El Capitan in Yosemite Valley. The championship surfer with only one arm. An Australian guy born without arms nor legs, living his life fully. There’s my husband, who continues to work in spite of having complications from Type 1 Diabetes, including heart disease and kidney failure. And I never once thought I couldn’t be a good mom because I have bad eyes.

Or, there are those who have suffered tremendous tragedy and loss, who come out on the other side with hearts full of forgiveness and gratitude.

These people have learned, the hard way, huge truths. We should look to them to impart those truths to the rest of us. And we should listen, take notice and respect them with open hearts and minds.

In my Land, we would never see those with disabilities, scars, heartache, or who are different from us in any way, as something to be avoided. We would not placate them with mere common courtesy. And we would most certainly not discriminate, looking for someone who appears to be more whole.

We would not see anyone as damaged goods or a burden to be saddled with. Instead, we would be grateful for their presence and their perspective. We would draw on their bravery and strength. They would be our role models.

I challenge you, and myself, to strive to live out these ideals in this land, right now.

For it is my belief that a Land of Empathy and Wonder need not be just some romantic dream. I believe it can be real.

Bio: Jennifer Hall blogs at “just JENNIFER” about the ups and downs of a life that includes marriage, kids, diabetes, dialysis, ADD, visual impairment and everything else. She would love it if you stopped by, said hi and got connected with her!

Editor’s note: How cool is the picture that Jennifer made?  Cool, right?  Super cool.  She’s awesome.  Get to know her.  Really.

 


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Michelle Liew - When I had two brain tumors diagnosed, I lost many of my fine motor skills (writing, holding a cup, pen, etc) for about a year. I was all of nineteen then and though it will never be the sort of thing any one ever wants to have, or wish on anyone, it did teach me what you’ve taught us today – that it is in appreciating little things.

    So true that we sometimes never truly appreciate what we have till we have lost it. I am a fan of the Our Land series.July 3, 2013 – 7:35 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - This is really a great take on how to perceive some one with a disability. They truly are stronger than the average bear. I don’t mind being humbled by Boo. But I do mind being humiliated when it comes to seeking services for our child. I think the land you describe is spectacular. Great addition to the Our Land Series!July 3, 2013 – 7:38 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - This is just so powerful, inspiring, and beautiful all at once. Thank you for touching my heart in a new way, and encouraging me to be a better person. God BLESS you!!!July 3, 2013 – 8:27 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Michelle,
    How scary to get two brain tumors at such a young age! I’m so glad you’re okay today and love your perspective – yes! to appreciating the little things.
    —
    Kerri,
    I don’t mind being humbled by Tucker either and often am. I think the land Jeffiner (heh – love that) is spectacular as well. Thank you.
    —July 3, 2013 – 8:27 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I actually saw this with my own father recently when he had a mild stroke. He had been trying for years to quit smoking and knew all the dangers, but just couldn’t kick this bad habit and addiction. He then had a mild stroke and was fearing what worse could happen to him. So just like that he gave up smoking out of worrying that he could end up with worse or even dead. So you are truly right that we, as humans have this great capacity to come out stronger from a tragedy. Thank you for sharing and another great Our Land addition!!July 3, 2013 – 8:30 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - I adore Jennifer’s version of Our Land. I want to live there.

    I recently had the incredibly humbling experience of being invited to visit my friend in a mental hospital, and was so anxious about what it would be like, but when I was there, it was a haven. People were ‘for’ one another. They spent their time doing good, doing healing, doing cheering and helping.

    These fragile, broken, souls touched my heart very deeply and their lesson was clear.

    And yet, the more of life I live, the more I think that we are all broken in some way. We all hurt. We all have pain and a bit of crazy in our lives. And we’re *so* good at thinking we’re the only ones.

    Connectedness.

    This is what Our Land is beginning to create.

    Joining up the dots, the hearts, the minds, and letting people learn from one another.

    Jennifer, you are amazing and I love how you wrote this.

    Kristi, I am a little bit in awe of this here thing you’re making happen (I expect you might be a little bit, too).

    God bless you both.July 3, 2013 – 9:10 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    Congratulations to your dad for quitting smoking. One of the hardest things to quit even when the facts are there that it’s so bad for us. I’m so glad he came out stronger from tragedy!
    —
    Considerer,
    You’re so right that it’s easy to think we’re the only ones but we are all broken in some way. Connectedness gets us through. And yes, I’m a bit in awe of it as well. Thank you!
    —July 3, 2013 – 9:45 amReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Yay! I love Just Jennifer and her blog, and seeing her on another of my favorite blogs is so wonderful! I think it’s important that we learn everyone’s stories, and not judge them by what we see or what perceived notions we may have about them. We can learn so much from each other if we listen and are empathetic. Jennifer makes a great point about our challenges making us stronger and better. Great post.July 3, 2013 – 11:16 amReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - I’m kinda confused about Kristi’s comments here, so I’m doubling up I think: Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments! I really am Humbled. 🙂July 3, 2013 – 2:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Jak - Hello Jennifer,
    –
    I agree that showing “weakness” is a sign of strength, whether needing help physically or emotionally or on some other level. So often people think that it is shameful to ask for help. People with disabilities or those with none alike fall victim to this stubborn pride.
    –
    In terms of individuals facing hardships with words of wisdom to share with the rest of the world, I believe this is very true. I also believe that it’s important that those individuals have done whatever acceptance and healing needed beforehand. Sometimes tragedies leave people so distraught emotionally, that they aren’t at a place of peace and acceptance.
    –
    Not that they should necessarily be okay with what’s happened, but yet… be okay with whatever happened/is going on. Not sure that makes sense, but it does in my head.
    –
    Basically, sometimes people are full of hate/regret/shame/fear that it’s important before they impart their experiences to the world that they have come to terms with everything. Grasped balance, acceptance, and love so they are coming from a positive place and not a negative one.
    –
    These are the people you explain that overcome their limitations and continue to strive and live life to the fullest. Not that there aren’t going to be hard times mixed in.
    –
    Not sure if your husband was born as a type 1 diabetic, but at one time I had been diagnosed with it as well. It was a pretty scary moment, and I’ve not written about it yet, but plan to at some point once I get some information I need. I can’t imagine having to do dialysis, but others in my family have had to. My grandfather basically just “gave up” and stopped taking care of himself. I’m really glad your husband didn’t do that! And also that you continue to write and be a wonderful mother and living life to your fullest too!
    –
    I look forward to living in a world where no one is viewed as damaged goods.
    –
    Thanks again for sharing. Great post!
    –
    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJuly 3, 2013 – 5:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Jennifer, as I was reading the sentence about disabled people being considered the strongest and wisest in our society I couldn’t help but think about the blind Greek oracles and future seers.

    I loved this sentence: But you know what? Showing weakness is actually a form of strength. I was thinking about this the other day. Weak people do not admit to mistakes.Weak people do not acknowledge their limitations.

    What a wise post.July 3, 2013 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Melissa@Home on Deranged - Kristi – I never cease to be amazed at all the wonderful people you find for these posts. I look forward to it every week,just wondering what something new I will learn.

    Jennifer – Do you wonder if it is fear that causes some of us to behave badly around those with visible disabilities? I’ve tried to figure it out ever since my mom’s terminal illness forced her onto oxygen 24/7 and into a wheelchair. The few times she allowed us to take her in public, I was struck by how rude or dismissive or just plain unhelpful people can be. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!July 4, 2013 – 1:30 amReplyCancel

  • K - This is beautiful, powerful, and profoundly moving. Thank you so much for sharing. I am going to bookmark this post so I can read it again and again. And Kristi, thank you so much for starting this beautiful series, for showing us Our Land, and for introducing us to all of these amazing individuals.July 4, 2013 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - This is a great post, and I completely agree. My son has Sensory Processing Disorder, I did a post for Kristi too, and trying to get him services was impossible! He had a disorder you couldn’t see, and the questions were all about physical impairments. SO many people think that if you can’t see it, it’s not a disability.
    Meanwhile on the same note, so many people who’s disabilities you can see are treated differently, or even ignored. As a mom, that lesson: Do not be afraid of people who are different than you. Is so hard. But so necessary. We must model the behavior we want to see in our kids all the time.
    Thanks for the wonderful post!July 5, 2013 – 10:13 amReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - Jennifer, I love your post. But more importantly to me, I connected instantly with you over your husband’s health issues and the strength you clearly have- my best friend, who is more like my brother, is currently in the hospital for his 10th week, as a result of complications from Type 1- dialysis is part of the mix, as well as two strokes and multiple infections that have left him close to death a few times. We’re praying for him to get strong enough that kidney transplant is possible. He’s 37 and Dad to 4 young kids. His wife has so much on her shoulders.

    Can’t wait to go learn more about you on your site- thanks for sharing here as well.July 5, 2013 – 12:07 pmReplyCancel

  • TriGirl - My father had a stroke at age 53 and it was awful. But like you said, it made him so much stronger for it. It changed my mom and all of us as well. No sidelining happening here. My dad is back to being front and centre.July 7, 2013 – 1:33 amReplyCancel

  • Joy - What a wonderful world it is that Jennifer describes! Heaven on earth! Would love to be there!July 23, 2013 – 2:50 amReplyCancel

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