Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

The Walk of Shame

Way back in the 80’s, I was a carefree college student living in California, doing typical college things like studying a lot and staying up all night to type procrastinated papers on the word processor located in another building, because that’s how life was in the 80’s.

It’s true. Nobody had laptops, and when you called your parents once a week to tell them how much you missed them, you did so collect, or with a pocket full of quarters from the lonely pay phone down the hallway. Ok fine, I exaggerate. You always called your parents collect. Quarters were saved for drinking games, vending machines, and phone calls to friends at other schools.

Anyway.

One morning, at about 7:30, I saw something funny on the way to class.

I saw The Walk of Shame.

Picture it. Two girls, heads hung low in an effort to hide slept-in-makeup stains and the fact that they were obviously hovering in that confusing state, halfway between still-drunk-from-the-night-before and mightily hungover.

They wore adorable 80’s style dresses, and were carrying their fancy high-heeled shoes in their hands. One of them even carried a droopy rose.

It was obvious that they’d taken the first morning’s Fruck driving in from Berkeley, which ran daily between the two schools until about 2:00am, I think. Those that missed the last one had to take a very expensive cab ride over the bridge or hunker down for the night and wait for that 7:00am Fruck.

The Fruck was a van driven by a tranny named Monique who was cool enough to drop you off at the school’s entrance gates so that you could walk a few blocks in a highly questionable neighborhood to grab a monster burger at 1:30 in the morning.

Anyway, the first Fruck that arrived each day was usually full of girls who had boyfriends in Berkeley,  were finally booted out of frat-house parties, or, just in-general skanks who slept with one of the frat-boys at her fake “big brother’s” house even though she wasn’t supposed to.

If you’re wondering why the skanks didn’t just find quick love in the boy’s dorm, Mills College was an all-girls school whose unofficial tagline was something like “Mills is not an all-girls school without men. It’s a women’s college without boys.” Mills being an all girls school is why the shuttle van was named the Fruck. Take a second and figure it out.
…the van…the “truck”…the f=”f….” ok you got it.

So on this particular morning, these two girls were doing the walk of shame trying to get to their dorm rooms to shower and still make it to class on time, hoping to squeeze in some alcohol-soaking breakfast in there as well. Ok who am I kidding. Class would have totally been skipped if it was a choice between learning and eating.

I don’t have a photo of the two girls. Back then, like I said, we didn’t have cell phones and were thus unable to take selfies, but they looked something like this:

my friend (also a skank in the 80

Guess which one was ME? Because. Yeah. One was me. Duh.

The moral? I have no idea. But speaking of selfies, you guys should join us on our What’s Mom Wearing? (#WhoAreYOUWearingMom).

Here’s me in college, telling a joke. And drinking. Oh. Smoking, too.  I still remember the joke. Even though it looks like it was mightily funny from this photo, it wasn’t funny enough for me to type out here. I hope you’re okay with that.

Telling a joke at a party in the 80

Ok fine. The joke. This is in the 80’s before cell phones. Two dudes are at a construction site. One needs a hammer and the other is like 300 yards away so he tries to mime it.

Dude 1: Points to eye, then knee, then does a hammering motion to say “I kneed a hammer.”

Dude 2: Points to his eye, then his left boob, and then to his crotch, to convey “I left tit in the box.”

See? I told you it was dumb, and not worth typing.

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s sentence is “I once saw something funny on the way to…” and was provided by the lovely Kenya from Here’s the Thing who will be co-hosting with us this evening, so show her some love.

Hosts:
Janine: Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate: Can I get another bottle of whine?
Stephanie: Mommy, for Real
me: finding ninee


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Janine Huldie - Oh, I totally remember those walks of shame and pretty sure we were all there at one point or another, but now I am seriously happy that cell phones and selfies weren’t around back during that time for either of us! Loved your drawing though and definitely made me laugh tonight. Thanks for that and ya I am first!!! 🙂January 30, 2014 – 10:02 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m SO glad nobody had cell phones back then. YAY for first!! And thanks, Janine.January 31, 2014 – 4:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I love the FRUCK stories and your selfie before selfie were popular. You not only rock you are a freaking innovative rock star. Just don’t retire like Motley Crue okay?January 30, 2014 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HA, Kerri. So no being like Motley Crue when it comes to their retirement. Check. Wait. Which part? Like the billion goodbye tour concerts?January 31, 2014 – 8:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - LOL!!! Girl you drew that picture! I’m just guessing you were in the black and gray. The walk of shame is bad enough but in a royal blue dress AND matching shoes?January 30, 2014 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Kenya. Good call. I’d never have worn the matching shoes. Um ok fine, once, to my cousin’s wedding, I wore died PEACH colored shoes (just got a little sick remembering) but that was for like, you know, her wedding.January 31, 2014 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Love it…my favorite walk of shame story is when I slept over at my boyfriend’s house in college for the first time. I drove us (drunk of course) to his house the night before and we were both so “out of it” that neither of us noticed that I parked in a tow-away zone. The next morning after I crept out of his house, I noticed that my car was gone. I was waaay too embarrassed to go back in and tell him what happened so I walked that walk of shame all the way home to my own house — it was only a few blocks away, but still. When I told my roommate what happened, she was thrilled because it gave us an excuse to skip class and go retrieve the car. Oh and that college boyfriend? At least I ended up marrying him 7 years later. 🙂 Oh and one more thing – woo hoo, I’m participating in FTSF!! It’s been a while, but glad to be here!!January 30, 2014 – 10:22 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Emily that’s HILARIOUS. I can’t believe that you were too embarrassed to go tell him and walked all the way home. I’d have been pounding his door down making him feel sorry for me and buy me breakfast and stuff. No wonder he married you. You were even cool in college!
      And I second the Woo Hoo to being back in FTSF, you. You’ve been missed. So glad you’re here.January 31, 2014 – 8:33 pmReplyCancel

  • April - I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I’ve had my “Walk of Shame” moments and would always go home with my head held high acting like nothing happened. I was never ashamed, but maybe I should’ve been. LOL!January 30, 2014 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HA, April. It’s good that you weren’t ashamed. You probably weren’t still drunk, which is also good 😀January 31, 2014 – 8:34 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - Oh, I so enjoy your all girls college stories, especially the ones which have to do with the fruck.

    The walk of shame…You nailed it. 😉January 30, 2014 – 10:57 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Christine. The Fruck rocked. So did college, really. I mean, mostly. Thanks for coming by! I still want to know why you don’t like the soccer moms. Popping over now to see if you’d said.January 31, 2014 – 8:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - Out One Ear - I don’t have any of those college stories, but my husband sure does. Well, not exactly like yours because he went to a state college with both sexes, so I assume his would just be staying the night on campus with someone of the opposite sex. Although I went to community college, I didn’t finish my degree until much later in life, like 35. But in all honesty, I just wasn’t a partier. I tried partying and didn’t really get it–all that out of control stuff. And that is my problem in a nutshell. I don’t like being out of control, I like controlling things and that is why Lindsey and I butt heads. I want her to do A. She wants to do B. I try to talk and talk and talk her into A. Silly mother that I am. She does B and I get mad.

    As far as seeing something funny on the way to…I’m going to need to try one of these finish the sentence posts someday. Instead of participating, I spend the morning putting together Lindsey and Nick’s answer to a Valentine’s question someone sent in. So at least I was somewhat productive. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.January 30, 2014 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hm. My first instinct is that when it comes to partying, you weren’t doing it with the right people or something but I have a friend who also does not enjoy (or didn’t back then anyway) the loss of control feeling. It made her a great designated driver! Ok kidding (not really because she did usually volunteer to drive) but I get it.
      And I LOVED the answer to Lindsey’s and Nick’s Valentine’s question. SO lovely and sweet. xoJanuary 31, 2014 – 8:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - I was concerned you had a secret photo of me until I remembered my school was nowhere near your school. SHAME.January 30, 2014 – 11:10 pmReplyCancel

  • ilene - All I can say is thank GOD there were no cell phones for selfies or Facebook tags when I was back in college. It’s one reason I don’t mind being old! If we had been on the same campus,I would have gone drinking with you for sure.January 30, 2014 – 11:17 pmReplyCancel

  • donofalltrades - Hahahaha, seriously, how were we not buddies back in the 80’s! Lol, can I say that out loud?

    I had a frequent walk of shame myself. I normally drank myself into a stupor and never knew what the hell I did after a certain hour of the night, so the breakfast line was always a joy. Were they judging me or did I sort of behave myself? Lol. God I miss college. Oh and Left tit in the box? Classic! Love it.January 30, 2014 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HAHAH OMG I forgot to talk about the feeling of being unsure whether you were a hero or a douche the next morning. GAH. Such a huge part of it.
      And yeah, I wish we were friends in the 80’s too.
      Oh! DO the Left Tit in the Box joke out loud. It gets funnier.January 31, 2014 – 8:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Love the bleary-face ‘selfie’ from the 80’s.

    And the joke was WAY funnier when you showed it live at the VidChat (and then again, a week later, when I told it to everyone who’d missed out the week before, wearing my Tigger suit…January 31, 2014 – 2:09 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It is indeed funnier when spoken aloud than it is typed…for sure. 😀January 31, 2014 – 8:41 pmReplyCancel

  • That Girl Ryan - I totally you knew you were one of the girls…as a walk of shame frequenter myself, I can spot a fellow walk of shame-r a mile away.

    At least Monique was there for you in moments like this…we were stuck walking miles back to our dorm room and had to pass through a row of frat houses to get there. The frat brothers would get up early every morning to make fun of the shame-rs coming home.January 31, 2014 – 9:20 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dude. I spotted you early on as well. In fact, your post today? Yeah. Could be related. Monique rocked. But we had other moments, too. Like when dudes drove for 45 minutes because we couldn’t remember how to get back to school and then we sent them home anyway? Ouch. For them anyway. I still got my burger.January 31, 2014 – 10:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa Forever Five Blog - Kristi, I live for your college stories. Really. As soon as you started this story a big smile spread across my face because your college stories are so freakin awesome! I so wish we were roommates back then. It would have been an amazing 4 years (or 5 if you switched majors as many times as I did!). You have to tell me, though, who was the guy that made you wait for the 7 am Fruck? Cute? Stupid? Loser? Winner? Please don’t leave me hanging!January 31, 2014 – 10:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, Lisa, we’d have been AWESOME roommates! Sadly, and don’t judge, I did the walk of shame more than once so the guy could have been cute, stupid, loser, winner. Yup, I was a college skank!! Usually I went for cute and dumb though. That was my trademark.February 1, 2014 – 12:15 pmReplyCancel

      • Lisa Forever Five Blog - You had me at skank!February 1, 2014 – 1:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama - Your artistic rendering of an 80s selfie? Just plain awesome! I love the smeared make-up and bed hair.January 31, 2014 – 10:49 amReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - Bwahahahaha. I ADORE your illustration. You got the smudgy make up of the Walk of Shame just right. I have a picture (with an actual film camera!!) that someone took of me in college in 1989 with a beer box on my head. It’s very similiar you your photo above!! –LisaJanuary 31, 2014 – 10:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Holy crap, Lisa. I think I have a photo with a beer box on my head, too! Now it’s my mission to try and find it.February 1, 2014 – 12:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Meredith - That drawing is awesome. And, FRUCK??? HILARIOUS. At first, I thought it was a typo. HahahahaJanuary 31, 2014 – 11:12 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - OMG! So glad there were no fancy cell phones and selfies back in college!! I had one of those awesome word processors, too. Only, mine was actually in my dorm room!January 31, 2014 – 11:50 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Your word processor was in your dorm room? LUCKY! And yeah, I’m so glad that there were no cell phones or selfies back then.February 1, 2014 – 12:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - Great drawing and it’s awesome to hear humble stories from friends who remind me that we’ve all had that Walk of Shame! I would absolutely love to hear more of your college stories. And it’s great to know that you, like me, used a word processor in the 80’s. I have a ton of stories that went swirling through my head after reading this. Probably one that most guys can relate to. Getting too frisky with a platonic co-worker on text under an intoxicated previous night. Then the next morning passing them in a hallway, scowling at me, “No I will not sext with you, Mikey!” *sigh* Awesome post, Kristi! 🙂January 31, 2014 – 12:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Ooooooh, Mike! You have to blog about getting frisky with your co-worker because that sounds like a really hilarious story! And the fact that she called you Mikey after saying she won’t sext with you sends a little bit of a double message, no? Did anything come of it?
      I sometimes miss 80’s word processors and no cell phones. That’s weird right?February 1, 2014 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - LMAO! Thank goodness there are only cartoon reminders of those kind of nights. 😉January 31, 2014 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Indeed. If there were real photographic proof, I might not be able to run for president.February 1, 2014 – 12:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Menopausal Mother - Boy oh boy, can I relate to this post! I too, went to an all girls college in the 80’s. Did the walk of shame MANY times, I hate to admit. But oh, were those some FUN times. This post makes me miss those crazy ass days. Some of my best. Thanks for sharing the memories! 🙂January 31, 2014 – 1:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You went to an all girls college in the 80’s too? That’s awesome! And you’re right – those were such fun times and I miss those crazy ass days, too. Thanks, Marcia!February 1, 2014 – 12:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - A funny thing happened on my way home from Ben’s school. I was sort of impatient to read you post, I read it, commented in my head and moved on. I totally didn’t realize one of the walk of shame girls was you, until the very end. I love description of the Fruck, Monique and college life in the 80’s and reading your posts always evokes nostalgic warmth in me, because you have a way of delivering content straight to the heart in a way that makes the reader feel. The illustration, as always, is fantastic.January 31, 2014 – 1:41 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw, thanks, Katia. You always make me smile with your comments. And I did the same thing – I read your post from my iPad and then only realized later that I never commented (and it is an amazing post by the way).February 1, 2014 – 12:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - Love it! The droopy rose is too much and I love the drawing. So who’s that walking with you? Someone I know, by chance?? 😉

    For the record, I remember you telling that joke. The best part was always how hilarious YOU thought it was, which showed on your face long before the punch line. 😀 (It is a pretty good joke though). 🙂January 31, 2014 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Hm. Well it’s one thing to throw myself under the bus but admitting that Julie was often with me on MANY walks of shame throws her under the bus, right? Angelique was with us occasionally too. And Elizabeth, that crazy chick (remember her???). And haha to the joke. It really is much better acted out than typed. I’m going to have to start telling it again. 😀February 1, 2014 – 12:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Allison - FRUCK!!!!! Best new word alert I have this month.
    So much of this post reflected my life…except for the walk of shame.
    Oh, who I am kidding, I went to college at UVa.January 31, 2014 – 3:30 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Glad to have given you the word of the month, Allison! Love that you relate to the walk of shame!February 1, 2014 – 12:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Yes. Of *course* one of them is you! And the Fruck- dying here! Also, I laughed out loud when I saw that drawing. Totally some of your best artistic work, you last minute genius, you.January 31, 2014 – 3:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - HA, thanks Stephanie. Not sure the word “artistic” is accurate but I’m happy that you like it.February 1, 2014 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - haha! I did NOT know one was you, actually.
    At my school, it was the Drunk Bus. The college buses stopped running at 1:00am or so. The cabs were ridiculous. No one had cars because..well..I don’t know why not, but we didn’t.
    The little shuttle was the Drunk Bus. I had a major crush on the driver. He probably thought we were all idiots. We were. I was never drunk on the drunk bus. Not once. Every now and then people would yell, “We’ve got a puker!” and that person had to be booted or carried off the bus.January 31, 2014 – 6:29 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Wait you were never drunk on the drunk bus? What’s up with that? Ew to the pukers. We didn’t have cars either. Guess we were just poor!February 1, 2014 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I never had this issue after sophomore year. My boyfriend just spent the night every weekend – no walk of shame necessary. And when guys walk across campus looking hungover and disheveled, they are given high fives.January 31, 2014 – 8:44 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yup. Guys getting high fives is such a double-standard! And I hope you got to experience The Walk at least once as a freshman. It’s a wonderful memory to have.February 1, 2014 – 7:45 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - How sad, I knew exactly what a “Fruck” was before you even explained it…January 31, 2014 – 9:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - OhmyGOSH you CRACK me UP!!! Uh, yeah- too many ‘walks of shame’ to count here… ugh.

    Dreadful college mishaps and misguided poorly judged often desperate pleas of loving attention drew me to those walks of shame. SHAME I tell ya. Still lingers really-

    And class? Wait. I think I missed about the first year of them…

    And FRUCK? Wow. Classy!!! LOLJanuary 31, 2014 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Cheers, sister walk of shamer! And yeah, I know you’re jealous of the classy fruck!February 1, 2014 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine Gacad - this is so funny. i went to cal berkeley and i think i did one walk of shame. at least i can only recall one right now. but the guy did walk me all the way home from his frat to my sorority, which i thought was pretty nice! i was like, “wow, you’re going to walk me home? that’s so sweet!” i can’t imagine taking a fruck, but hey, a skank’s gotta do what she’s gotta do! haha!February 1, 2014 – 1:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Catherine,
      HAHA you went to Berkeley? Awesome. That’s where we partied. And AWWW that guy was so sweet to walk you all the way home. That’s really really nice.February 1, 2014 – 7:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - I LOVE the way this story ended, because the whole time I kept thinking–I was that skank!! And I couldn’t wait to get to the end and tell you–and then I read that YOU were that skank, too! Dammit, Kristi, we’d have had so much fun together in college! As it was, my best friend and I got into enough trouble. So maybe adding a third person to the mix would’ve landed us in prison. And that pic is ADORBS!! (Yes, I use words like adorbs sometimes, but I’m not sure if it’s because I like them or because I know others don’t and I’m just trying to be a shit head…:) ) Love it love it love it. I need a fruck.February 1, 2014 – 4:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Shay! HAHA awesome that you were looking forward to the end and telling me that it was YOU and then learning that it was me! And yeah, we might have gone to jail if there were three of us.
      You are adorbs. Dork 😉
      And yeah, everybody needs a fruck. (I just sung that to the tune of “Everybody needs a schneeed” from Lorax by the way so who’s the dork now?)February 1, 2014 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life - All I can say is I am glad there were no cell phones back then, because there is no evidence of the ridiculous things we all did! The kids today have a lot more to think about, thanks to cell phones and social media!February 2, 2014 – 8:44 amReplyCancel

  • Brittne - People really thought of some great ideas for this post. I had none! Ugh! LOL. I couldn’t think of anything. I remember these college days. That were horrible and awkward yet funny all at the same time. I think I had more bad times than good that’s for sure. The picture of you back then is so cute! 🙂February 2, 2014 – 9:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I am laughing so hard. Like, if I had blond hair, I could’ve been the other girl. EVERY SINGLE THING about it I relate to. Well, not the fruck or the girl’s school. but the rest. And YES to no moral to the story. xoFebruary 2, 2014 – 11:34 pmReplyCancel

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