There are voices in my head today

Hi, friends. So, it’s Sunday and there are voices in my head today.  Here are a few of them:

• My own voice: “You’re too busy to participate in Ten Things of Thankful this weekend. It’s already after 7pm on Sunday and the fact that you haven’t even thought about it means you’re either thankless or unworthy.”
  • Lizzi’s counter “Which is exactly why you should remember what you’re thankful for. Just ’cause I’m on holiday is no excuse for you to slack off and not remember how lucky you are. I mean, there are people in the world with nothing and you’re not one of them!”
• Clark’s voice: “Hm. I wonder where Kristi is. We’ve had such a lovely community back and forth conversation this weekend, from the bookstore to the coffee shop to the cafe to the bar…I was sure I’d see her in the bar…”
• IRL guy I work with’s voice in response to me saying that I’d have time to work on something on Monday: “So you’ll have a draft done Monday then?”
  • What I didn’t say but wanted to and was certainly implied: “Well. We can hope, right? But let’s face it. There’s a reason that I said I have time to work on it and did not, in fact say, that you’ll see anything on Monday.”
  • “I should really start doing that presentation now, because it would be nice to not stress about it tomorrow. A head start would help.”
  • To which I reply “Fuck that,” and then, immediately, “I know. Right after I finish this other stuff. I still need to gather the items for tomorrow’s donation pick up as well.”  “And write a blog post.”
  • “Well, I don’t have to write a blog post.”
    • Lizzi, again: “You don’t have to but you should.”
• The voice of Guilt: “I can’t believe you’re paying a babysitter to go do all that fun stuff with Tucker. Didn’t you see those videos of him two years ago just yesterday? He’s already changed so much and you’re totally missing out.”
  • “sigh…”
• Another IRL project “I need to get that social media plan done for dude. At least it’s paying decently.”
  • “You don’t even have a social media plan for your own blog.”
  • “Winging it is working just fine. Shut up.”

See? I told you that there are voices in my head. Plus, I’m really busy. Too busy. But, I’m still thankful. I’m going to make this a quick list today. I hope you understand.

1. I’m thankful that I scheduled a donation pickup for tomorrow because it means that I am forced to go through the too-much-crap crap that I have that’s actually not crap but unused by me and will be appreciated by others who need it.  In fact, there’s a brand-new coat in the bag that I’m particularly happy will help somebody feel less cold this winter.
2. I’m thankful for old photographs because there is almost nothing that brings back the moment than reliving it through a forgotten photo.
3. I’m thankful that my pants are too tight from overeating this weekend, because it means that I have food when too many don’t.
4. I’m thankful for the annoying voices in my head.
5. I’m thankful that although it makes me really sad and jealous to send Tucker off with a sitter to experience airplanes and farms, that we’ve found a young woman who I trust to take Tucker off to experience airplanes and farms.
6. I’m thankful that he loves her and that she genuinely seems to adore him back. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even think he’s a little bit weird. Or, if she does, she’s okay with that.
7. I’m thankful that I had the wisdom to stop what I was doing this morning to play ball with Tucker. We both had a blast.
8. I’m thankful that nobody in my house thinks it’s weird that it’s past 7pm and I have not put on underwear or changed clothes from the ones that I woke up in this morning.
9. I’m thankful that the stress I’ve been feeling the past few weeks has inspired me to take some time off during the last week of August to catch up with myself and to dance in the cooler nights of summer’s end with my little boy.
10. I’m thankful that I stumbled into blogging 10+ months ago now, searching for moms like me. I continue to get emails and comments from parents wondering about their sons’ speech delays, worrying whether it’s autism and feeling less alone because they stumbled here. Although I cannot help them to figure out what’s going on with their children, I can tell them that I know it’s terrifying and worrying and lonely. Telling them also tells me. I’m thankful for that.

What about you? What are you thankful for this weekend?  And did I inspire you to put on underwear or schedule a donation pickup? No? That’s okay. Sundays are for lazy.