This is how…

There have been countless moments in the past few days when I’ve wondered how to go on. How to move forward in this broken world. When I’ve wondered how to repair my heart. When I’ve wondered whether it’s safe to send my son to school tomorrow. Because there will be more senseless deaths.

The moments this weekend that I’ve blissfully been able to forget what happened on Friday because I’ve been busy playing with my son have been fleeting. 27 people who should be wrapping up the school semester for the holidays are dead. 20 of them are babies.

I ask myself how we go on. How do we continue to send our children to school knowing that they are not safe ANYWHERE? We thought they were safe.

How do we go on?

For me, this is how. This is a photo that Tucker’s teacher took of him playing, just one day before too many babies had their lives taken from them in a senseless act of unspeakable violence. This boy has no idea that he lives in a broken world. This boy has no idea that the violence that occurred on Friday killed a little bit of hope and joy in all of us. This boy still believes that all injuries are mended by his mom’s kisses.

I will go on. Because of him, I will continue to hope for a mended world. Thank you to my sweet amazing boy. For giving me a smile that makes it worth it to mend my broken heart.

by Kristi Campbell

22 comments

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Jennifer - OMG how do you always know just what is the perfect thing to say? Than you.December 17, 2012 – 12:19 amReplyCancel
- admin - And you always leave the perfect comments! So thank YOU!December 17, 2012 – 5:38 pmReplyCancel
Anon - I agree and like the reference to our broken world will mend.December 17, 2012 – 12:22 amReplyCancel
Anon - And your boy is beautiful!December 17, 2012 – 12:23 amReplyCancel
- admin - Thank you!December 17, 2012 – 5:38 pmReplyCancel
Mom with no hope - Actually I don’t agree and until you address gun controls the world will stay broken.December 17, 2012 – 12:25 amReplyCancel
- admin - Thank you for your comment. I’m going to refrain from discussing gun control here. I know that it’s an important conversation to have, as are many others. I simply do not want for this to be the forum to do so. There are a lot of people talking about gun control, handling mental illness and a general insensitivity to violence. I’d prefer to keep Finding Ninee a blog about a boy and his mom and other silly random stuff.
  Thank you for your comment.December 17, 2012 – 5:41 pmReplyCancel
  - Jennifer - I think it’s smart to not get into the gun debate here. Keep finding ninee beautiful!December 18, 2012 – 8:12 amReplyCancel
Stephanie @Mommy, for real. - Thanks for a beautiful post. I had so many moments this weekend where I remembered to really be present with my kids. This experience has been so jarring for us as parents and has changed the way I feel when I hold them tight or look into their eyes. Not that we ever thought before that there were guarantees, but we are so aware of how tenuous life is.December 17, 2012 – 12:39 amReplyCancel
- admin - Aw Stephanie, thank you! I suppose that we all are more present with our kids this week is something a glimpse of silver lining in this dark cloud of unthinkable evil.
  Hugs to you and your kiddos!December 17, 2012 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel
Joy - Such a cute picture! Yes, it is hard to figure out how to move on. We have to do it for our children. xoxoDecember 17, 2012 – 2:01 amReplyCancel
- admin - So true. We do have to do it for them. And keep them believing as long as possible that mommy’s kisses really do heal everything. <3December 17, 2012 – 5:43 pmReplyCancel
Cathy - It is indeed a broken world we live in. No matter what laws are passed, that is a fact and it will not EVER change. Evil will find a way to strike. Horrific tragedies like the one in Newtown will continue to happen and each one will break our hearts a little more. If we adults do it right, our little ones will be protected from the brokeness for as long as “parently” possibly.December 17, 2012 – 9:24 amReplyCancel
- admin - Thanks Cathy. I’m so glad that Tucker’s not old enough yet to understand any of this. I’ll be perfectly content if he doesn’t know what evil is for a long, long time.December 17, 2012 – 5:44 pmReplyCancel
Kerri - This is going to sound horrible, but we go on because we must and because we are used to it. We battle every day for our children to be healthy, happy and whole. Some days are easier than others, like when we go thru a day without Boo hitting her head. But some days just suck. As parents of special kiddos we know the world isn’t fair or easy or right. But we have something the killer didn’t have: hope.December 17, 2012 – 1:47 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Kerri, I love how you wrapped that up and you are so right. We do have hope. Lots and lots of it. Hugs to you and Boo.December 17, 2012 – 5:45 pmReplyCancel
Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - You are so right. I love that fact that some children are too young to know, to young to remember, to young to every comprehend the pain we adults (and many children old enough) are going through. But we will make it. One day at a time. One smile at a time. Thanks for sharing how Tucker helps in this process. Thanks for letting him help you. A product of true love.December 21, 2012 – 12:28 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Thank you so much for the comment. One smile at a time. I like that.December 21, 2012 – 1:24 pmReplyCancel
Anna the Flutist - I wear an autism diagnosis not as a cruel label but as a badge of pride.December 21, 2012 – 6:59 pmReplyCancel
- admin - As well you should, Anna the Flutist. Celebrate and embrace who you are. That is what I hope to teach my son, no matter which diagnosis he receives. Thank you so much for commenting!December 21, 2012 – 9:21 pmReplyCancel
Adrienne - Our kids really do force us to find the good. I know my kids helped me find some hope last week. Stopped by from Ellen’s blog hop. 🙂December 22, 2012 – 3:08 pmReplyCancel
- admin - Thank you so much for stopping by. I’m glad your kids helped you to find hope last week.December 22, 2012 – 6:34 pmReplyCancel