Which Monsters will Visit?

I just realized last night that I haven’t been helping Tucker practice saying “Trick or Treat.” Last year, he had just turned two in July.  When October 31 came along, it seemed like him not saying anything was ok.  He was still a baby.  But this year, people generally expect so much more of him.  He’s constantly asked what his name is, how old he is and whether he likes the swings at the playground.  He is not able to answer or interact.  Well, maybe he’s able to, but he doesn’t.  It may simply be that it’s taking every bit of his self-control to wait for his turn on the slides.

Tucker also looks much older than he is.  He’s a tall kid who has fluctuated between 95% and off-the-charts growth since he was born. Strangers expect him to behave like the five-year old he’s often mistaken for.  Which means that tonight, I know that people will be waiting for him to say “Trick or Treat!”  And I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen.  Combine Tucker’s speech delay with the fact that he’s extremely shy, gets overexcited and overwhelmed and chances are he’ll only have eyes for the candy.

Little monsters, firemen, princesses, dinosaurs and ghosts will be wandering the neighborhood trolling for candy in a few hours.  As a worried mom who’s trying not to stress about what people will think (or worse, say) when my little fire chief thinks he can just take a piece of candy from your bowl, I ask that you show some compassion.  If Tucker comes to your house, he probably won’t say “Trick or Treat!” or respond if you comment on his costume.  Please don’t look at me as if I forgot to teach him manners.  Or worse, look at him like he’s rude, or stupid, or a brat.  He would interact with you if he could.  I know it’s hard to appreciate all children, especially when they’re not your own. But try to appreciate that no matter how strange, shy, different or annoying a little one may act, he still occupies 100% of his mommy’s heart.  And it breaks a little bit when you look at him, or her, like you’re offended.

Tucker is going as a fire chief.  And no, that’s not the same as last year when he was a fireman.  He’s obviously been promoted.  It’ll be interesting to see how long he makes it in his too-loose boots that he insists complete his ensemble.

Happy Halloween everybody!

Tucker’s Halloween Costumes: From dinosaur to cowboy to fireman to fire chief.

Note: The following is going all around a variety of blogs and on Facebook today.  I almost didn’t include it as I can’t find the original source.  Each page and blog that I’ve found using it doesn’t source it at all.  If you know, please let me know.  Anyway, here it is: 

Tonight a lot of creatures will visit your door. Be open minded. The child who is grabbing more than one piece of candy might have poor fine motor skills. The child who takes forever to pick out one piece of candy might have motor planning issues. The child who does not say “trick or treat” or “thank you” might be painfully shy, non-verbal, or selectively mute. If you cannot understand their words, they may struggle with developmental apraxia of speech. They are thankful in their hearts and minds. The child who looks disappointed when he sees your bowl might have a life-threatening allergy. The child who isn’t wearing a costume at all might have SPD or autism. Be kind, be patient, smile, pretend you understand. It’s everyone’s Halloween. Make a parent feel good by making a big deal of their special child.