Why Valentine’s Day Flower-Grams Suck

My middle school had a Valentine’s Day flower-gram fundraiser. For $1, you could buy a pink or red carnation and have it delivered to any kid in school. You could sign your name, or send them anonymously. Popular girls flounced down hallways carrying handfuls, giggling and squeeing “I have no idea who they’re all from!” 

I was just grateful to have a best friend who suggested we send one to each other anonymously so we wouldn’t look like the loveless losers we were. For us to say “Valentine’s Day flower-grams suck” is an understatement. I bet it sucked even more for the kids who were best-friend-less.

If I remember, parents could send them too, but unless you also receive a “real” flower-gram, does one from Mom even count? I say “No, and thanks-but-no-thanks, Moooom.” *eye roll* 

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My son received his Arrow of Light badge in Cub Scouts tonight. There’s a ceremony to celebrate the transition from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. For me, it was surprisingly emotional.

He’s the tall one in the middle (and the youngest)… *hold me*

It’s not so much that I feel deeply one way or another about Scouts. In fact, I’m on the fence about a large majority of Scouting in general, but do concede that camping, woodwork, Pinewood Derby cars, and being outside with other kids is pretty much always awesome, so we remain.

Anyway, I think my emotion tonight comes from the fact that the ceremony is another reminder that my no-longer-little 10-year-old is growing up faster than I am. His growth can be seen almost daily, in thoughts, body, and independence. 

Driving home from the ceremony, there’s a sign at the school’s entrance. “Get Your Candy Grams Now!” it read. Glad that the ceremony was held at a school other than the one my son attends, the sign made me wonder. 

I wonder whether Tucker’s school has flower-grams, or candy-grams, or some other “Let’s see who’s popular vs. who’s shy or awkward” tradition. 

Which is why Valentine’s Day flower-grams suck. 

They suck because they’re one more visible way that reinforces popularity. Prettiness. Coolness. 

Sure, it feels great to receive recognition from a friend, or a crush. But how many kids don’t receive anything? Or, *cringe* a lone carnation from mom?

How many parents aren’t aware of these fundraisers in the first place? Not all parents have time to check PTA’s messages. Not all families can afford an extra dollar or two to send an ugly carnation to some kid your kid likes this week, or to send one to their own kid.

Valentine’s Day Flower-Grams Suck

They suck. I really hope my kid’s school doesn’t have this. I’d rather the PTA ask families who are able to donate direct funds. Why subject shy, anxious, awkward kids to this ritual?

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Here’s to a happy Valentine’s Day to each of us, but also, here’s to remembering that Valentine’s Day is just another day. It’s so much better to love the people we love well, out-loud, and remind them of our love as often as we’re able to.

It’s better to hug and compliment honestly. It’s better to take an extra minute each day to remind our kids and loved ones that we believe in them. I’m pretty sure they’ll remember our encouragement more than whether we sent them a carnation on Valentine’s Day.

They’ll remember the flower-grams they didn’t get, though. Which is why Valentine’s Day glower-grams suck.

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This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, with the prompt “Favorite (or worst) Valentine’s Days…”