Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Being Here is the Best Part of My Day

I know that I’m not alone in continually feeling like there’s not enough time for anything. Like all of us, there are moments when I’m at work and realize that I haven’t yet replied to a personal email, a blogger’s comment, or purchased my brother’s birthday card. While spending time with my son, I often feel guilty about the project that I’d hoped to complete at work. Kicked myself because not only did I not complete it, I know that I will not look at it again for another day. Maybe two. There are too many moments in each day that are filled with worry about something other than what I’m doing.

There are minutes when I feel like I don’t know why I’m doing any of the things that I am doing. Why I’m writing. Blogging. Working. Stressing. Not sleeping enough. Moments when I feel that I am not enough, and never will be.

Tonight, while tucking my freshly bathed and too-tired son into bed, I stared at his almost-sleeping face. Marveled at the fact that he wants snuggles, back-tickles and for me to sing to him. That’s the best part of my day. The worst part is that I have a tendency to grieve these moments, even before they are gone. I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.

When I’m at work, I love work me. When I’m at Tucker’s school, I love room-mom me. When I’m at home, I love mom me, wife me, and me me. But it’s hard to forget about the rest of the mes. It’s hard to let go of the niggling guilt, the beat-myself-upery for not yet scheduling a doctor’s appointment. Buying a birthday card.

It’s so easy to be only partially present in All of The Things, busy worrying about The Other Things.

Until, somehow, it’s not.

The best part of my day is when I forget where I am.
When I forget who I am.
When I forget how old I am.
How out of shape I am.
How me I am.

The best part of my day happens when I am accidentally here. Now. In the moment. When I’ve forgotten how annoying it is to chase a little boy into a too-hot toy castle for the 14th time and find myself laughing in spite of myself. When I find myself totally and completely into it, if only for a moment. When I am outside myself and inside myself and simply feel. Feel the breeze on my face from my son’s toy castle swirling around me, too fast, too hard, and just right. When I forget that I’m supposed to be trying to have fun and have actual fun.

I walk into the room, ready to declare bedtime and am met with “Mommy! You’re Back!” and a gigantic, wrap-around body hug that leaves me breathless in all the ways. That’s the best part of my day.  When I laugh with my mouth wide open, snort, do not suck in my belly, or position my arms so that they look the best, and I’m Just There. Here. When I’m in the Just Right Now.

When I forget that people are watching.

When I don’t obsess over the tiny lines now developing in my cheeks, analyze them, study them, and wonder when they grew from the day they used to only appear near my eyes, and then, only when I smiled.

When I can forget that the person I see today in the mirror is 15 years older than I remember her being.

When I’m not worried, or frightened, or planning, or forgetting to breathe.

When I’m just breathing.

Breathing softly, as I tuck my baby boy into bed, cherishing the days that I’ll still have this. When I forget to miss the moment before it’s gone and simply live it.

Breathing deeply, when I’ve carried him upstairs, upside-down after running laps, over and over and over, out of breath.

Breathing quickly, when I’m over-the-moon-happy about a new word.

The me that is not forgetting to breathe. The me that forgets that I’m supposed to be breathing and just breathes.

The me that lives in the moments.
The moments when I forget that I am, and, instead, am simply here.
Being righthere is the best part of my day.

 Kristi and Tucker at beach

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s sentence is “The best part of my day is…”
Next week’s sentence is “One Halloween, I…”
Your fantastic hosts:
Janine: Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate: Can I get another bottle of whine?
Stephanie: Mommy, for Real
me: finding ninee

 


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Rachel - We wrote about the same thing! I like yours better! 😉October 17, 2013 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - One of my favorite posts by you. I have that feeling not nearly often enough. Love this, Kristi!October 17, 2013 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - I love that. That “accidentally here.” I am so with you on that.October 17, 2013 – 10:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Rachel,
    Cool and awesome we had the same idea.
    —
    Kate,
    Aw, thanks huge, you!
    —
    Natalie,
    We should all be more accidentally here, yes? And thanks…
    —October 17, 2013 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - You said this quite perfectly and I must admit I had a lot of those wonderful moments today to be honest, because I played hooky on a Thursday, where I went out to lunch with Kevin who took a day off and then we took the girls to the local nursery to go on a hayride after we picked them up from pre-school. As Emma said, “It was the best day ever!” So, yes when I can relax and be just in the moment, it is pretty damn near perfect for me, too!! 🙂October 17, 2013 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Perfect topic. Perfect response to it.
    Today Scarlet told me I work too much and she gets bored. So we went for a late afternoon jaunt to the park. It was like spring out, but with fall colors. Can’t beat that. There at the park, we lost track of time as we sent her baby brother down slides for our own amusement, and I chased her really fast – to ensure that she sleeps late tomorrow.

    It was perfect. Even when Des pooped and I had forgotten my diaper bag and I used toilet paper, soap and water from the public restroom to get him at least presentable for another hour or so.

    I can’t believe I just admitted that on your blog. I hadn’t told anyone that except my husband! (the one who taught me how to clean a shower..not that I have two husbands)October 17, 2013 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Oh. my. this. is. BEAUTIFUL.

    Seriously, I think this is my favorite post from you! You have so beautifully captured the difficulty, the ease, the wonder, and the joy of mindfulness. I heart you 🙂October 17, 2013 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - This post read like poetry to me. It was eloquent and had a beautiful rhythm to it. My recent challenges have made me realize so much more than ever that being here and in the moment is more important than anything else…you are fortunate (and smart) to have had that realization on your ownOctober 17, 2013 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Yes. Just yes. Being right-here is the very best part of all days.October 17, 2013 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    Yay!!! To playing Hookie! Hookie is almost always the Best Day 🙂
    —
    Tamara,
    While I disagree that it’s the perfect topic as I’ve been wondering what the best part of my day is for a couple of days, and not knowing, I do agree that taking a step back and remembering why they’re all perfect is important. And um. I am so not laughing at you over the poop. We were on a road trip once and had to stop at a gas station for paper towels and a crappy new t-shirt.
    And thanks for telling me…
    —
    Sarah,
    I heart you right back, friend. Big and huge.
    —
    Emily,
    Well. I’m going to try to not dismiss my words because I believe in them…while also feeling like I need to reassure you that you’ve always had this. Your focus has shifted, sure. But you’ve always always been there. It’s just harder to see, right now. But you are. And <3
    ---
    Dana,
    The best part. Love how we were on the same page!October 18, 2013 – 12:04 amReplyCancel

  • K - Your writing is so beautifully profound…your words reach me in a way that few people’s do. I love love love all of your posts, but I agree with a previous commenter who said that this one was one of her favorites!

    “The moments when I forget that I am, and, instead, am simply here.” Yesyesyes…I love this. And I needed this tonight. I just got finished studying for a giant biology exam that I have tomorrow, and sometimes I forget to live in the moment as well…that exam, it seems so monumental and all-consuming, when really it’s just a tiny little part of my life. I, too, need to forget for a little while and simply live in the moment.

    Thank you. Your writing has changed my perspective on life.October 18, 2013 – 12:39 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I have spent so much of my life trying to complete list after list, while thinking about the thousands of things that needed to be accomplished in a single day. And doing so, I missed out on so many special moments in my children’s lives–as well as my own life. I totally agree that the best of a day is when you are in the moment. You (again) captured this perfectly for me and I bet for so many other mothers and fathers. My favorite line in this post? I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.

    You sure have a way with words, Kristi. I heart you.October 18, 2013 – 12:44 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Knew I’d love it. It’s absolutely gorgeous 😀 So glad you keep writing – please never stop.October 18, 2013 – 1:44 amReplyCancel

  • Christina Morley - That’s a wonderful place to be in and I forget too often how to play and have fun. Keep enjoying the moments.October 18, 2013 – 2:53 amReplyCancel

  • karen - oh man…you always make me cry woman…always, LOL.

    I think you captured what all moms feel…those little moments we often forget about but so cherish…great job.October 18, 2013 – 5:20 amReplyCancel

  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - This is beautiful, Kristi. I definitely need more of these moments.
    Have a fantastic weekend!October 18, 2013 – 6:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh this is sweet as sugar babies. Loved it. I love it when I am accidentally here too. I try to plan every moment down to movie night. Last week on a whim Christopher wanted check out Big Lots. They put up a new one and we hadn’t been in there. We were home at the time, it was a Friday after school and I was kinda in chill not get for real dressed and do my hair because I don’t want to see anybody mode. So I said, “Why not, let’s go.” Just the simplest thing and we hadn’t fun walking through there. He spent ten dollars and I had an arm full of stuff that I eventually put back but it was fun – doing nothing in particular.October 18, 2013 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I love that moment, that moment when we breatheOctober 18, 2013 – 11:57 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Beautiful! I know exactly what you mean. I find myself having those moments and really wishing for more of them.-AshleyOctober 18, 2013 – 12:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - You’re such a better person than I am. 🙂October 18, 2013 – 1:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - Wow, that was beautifully written. Probably the deepest post I’ve seen on FTSF today. I really wish I had more of those moments that you describe. I think I need to slow down sometimes to let that happen.October 18, 2013 – 2:55 pmReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - This is just so right and real. I love when I read a post and it just puts something exactly how I’d want to put it, but know I’d never have written down so eloquently. “When I am outside myself and inside myself and simply feel.” Yes. That’s it exactly. I love this!! –LisaOctober 18, 2013 – 3:09 pmReplyCancel

  • TK - This is so beautifully expressed! I loved the part where you said you like the ‘me’ who is doing whatever you’re supposed to be doing at the moment. And yes, there’s always a niggling feeling that something else needs attention.October 18, 2013 – 3:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Wow, my friend. This might be one of my favorite posts you’ve ever written. I so long for those moments, too. They are perfection, and you captured something that I feel so acutely, but had no words for, and maybe didn’t even realize that I am feeling! (If that makes sense.) This is my favorite line: ” I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.” Yes. Amazing job here- really.October 18, 2013 – 4:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - I agree, those short, truly “free” moments are great. When I enjoy the very essence of the now for what it is. No stress, no annoyance, just pure joy.October 18, 2013 – 5:04 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - very cool….as usual, you are describing my frickin reality, better than I have been able.

    (no, I know what you’re thinking!) the fact of the matter, I am doing this by proxy* (for which I am totally grateful, do not mistake that!) but you are doing it from a real person’s immediate experience and presenting the pieces and artifacts and remnants of your world that you wish to have others understand, and you are doing it ‘with heart.’

    Very powerful.

    I would suggest the discomfort (with our individual realities) sometimes changes, even as (or worse, ‘because of’) our gaining insight into our own realities. This is not a bad thing, it is however, at times, a confusing thing.
    Fortunately, as a people, we are *so* at home with ‘confusing’

    *the Doctrine being my ‘proxy’October 18, 2013 – 6:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Absolutely beautifully written and totally true. I think you have just summed up what millions of mothers are feeling but we don’t even necessarily recognise that we are feeling it. You have managed to describe it all so honestly. There are so many times during the day when we feel like we are not enough and, as you say, we miss out on the living the present when we are grieving moments before they’ve even begun. Have a wonderful weekend with your lovely boy.October 18, 2013 – 7:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - You hit the mommy nail on the head with every. single. word. This was such an accurate summary of MY inner state that it made me breathe in all of the ways described above by you. Terrific post.October 18, 2013 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Beautiful, Kristi! Those moments when you forget about time really are the best times!October 18, 2013 – 8:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - Kristi, that was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And here’s to more of those moments–for all of us!!October 19, 2013 – 10:12 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Love this! The many roles of a mom/woman can sometimes spread us thin but we know we would never change it for the world. 🙂October 19, 2013 – 12:52 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - Dude. You are a rockstar. This is an amazing post, and so true and it makes me want to close my computer, but not until I comment and share 😉
    You are so right on, I hope you find more time to not care and just be you cause I love the just you you are.October 19, 2013 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - Ooh, I so agree and this was lovely.
    1. I love how you prefaced a post about being in the moment with the fact that you are not always in the moment, you know? I didn’t feel guilty for that reason.
    2. I admire that your writing voice is so uniquely YOU. I would know it was your writing even if your name wasn’t on the piece. You’ve found the mother effing sweet spot for your writing and it’s a joy to read.
    Sorry about the effing.
    xoOctober 19, 2013 – 2:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Living in the moment is a rarity…at least for me. I have to sometimes force myself NOT to multitask, the biggest “living in the moment” breaker. Thanks for the reminder to do that…and for articulating this is such a clear way!October 19, 2013 – 3:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Pam @ Whatevs... - Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. Those are the best times, for sure. And that picture- I LOVE it. This post reminds me of the other day, my 20 mo old and I ate popsicles together. It was probably a 20 minute endeavor (for her, not me), but I was present for every single lick, because I was having so much fun watching her enjoy the popsicle.October 19, 2013 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Menopausal Mother - Oh Kristi, this is so beautiful. Your writing just blows me away. So many people can relate to this but you have said it best right here .You need to submit this somewhere—it deserves some major attention. XOOctober 19, 2013 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Brilliant piece of writing Kristi… just so raw and true and full of passion. My heart is drenched in every emotion you share through your words.
    Oh how I am with you in this… this… this…

    And your picture, took my breath away.October 20, 2013 – 10:27 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m late to the party thanks to aFriday stomach bug, but I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! This is beautiful and so, so very true. I, too, get caught up in all the things I have to do. I am always thinking about what comes next and I forget to appreciate right now. It is so hard to let go of all that “other stuff” but when I do I think “Why to I obsess?? I need to just enjoy!” This is perfectly stated and awesome!October 20, 2013 – 3:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - You’re a poet. Seriously, this is awesome. Love it. I need to slow down and enjoy the moments too. I need to let some of the crap I’m committed to or feel like I’m committed to just go.October 21, 2013 – 9:20 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - All that we have to be is good enough…and it’s so hard to accept that when there is so much to do. Simply being here, is a beautiful thing. Grounding yourself is hard but we need to work at doing that. Life is so much sweeter when you’re standing still.
    This is gorgeous my friend. One of your bests.October 21, 2013 – 1:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - This is so perfect, and perfectly describes how I’ve been feeling lately! I’ve been all over the place with too much stuff. Being in the moment is definitely the way to be. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂October 21, 2013 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - This is wonderful, Kristi. Being present, in the moment, really is the best part of the day. It’s something I’ve been working hard on lately. There’s always so much to do, but I need to pay attention to the now that I’m already doing.

    Fantastic way to finish the sentence. I didn’t join in today, because I couldn’t name one particular time during the day I like the most. You nailed it!October 22, 2013 – 12:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Oh, my. You have a way of bringing me to my knees, don’t you Miss Kristi?

    I really hope that you’ll link this with October’s Perfect Moment Monday on the 28th. For one reason, you epitomize the mindfulness that Perfect Moment Monday is meant to encourage, and for another, I want my readers to read your exquisite post.

    XOXOOctober 22, 2013 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristina Grum - I LOVE this post! I talk about being in the moment a lot in the parenting classes I teach and we talk about the struggle of how hard it is to do. When it finally happens, the joy always takes us by surprise.October 22, 2013 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Loved this post! If concentrate on making all the little NOW moments the best they can possibly be, it soon adds up to an amazing life. Love your writing style!!October 23, 2013 – 10:56 amReplyCancel

  • Bismah - Such a lovely post! We all go through these moments. Thank you for sharing this!
    Stopping over from the “Showing Some Love Hump Day” hop. Now following you on Bloglovin and Facebook.
    Have a great day 🙂
    Bismah @
    http://simplemamaathome.blogspot.com/October 24, 2013 – 10:15 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Thanks for linking up with The Sunday Parenting Party! Come back on Sunday to see if you were featured!October 26, 2013 – 4:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Hazel Lee - I loved your post. I have a tendency to always be thinking about what’s next, looking into the future, moving on to the next thing, and it’s harder for me to be just in the present. It’s great to be reminded of how important the present is, being here now. Thanks for sharing!October 29, 2013 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • sarah @ Thank You Honey - so sweet! Thank for sharing at Whatever Wednesday on Thank You Honey’s! Hope to see you again this week!October 29, 2013 – 8:59 amReplyCancel

  • Momo - This is such a beautiful post. Full of so much that resonates with me in my own life. I loved this line in particular, “I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.” So evocative.October 30, 2013 – 12:58 amReplyCancel

  • Manal The Go Go Girl - Your writing is so beautiful! Your life is so busy and you deserve an award for being so compassionate. It should all be about you and your family and everything else can wait. Love your picture with Tucker!February 2, 2014 – 1:34 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Yet another post that chimed such a huge common note with me. I have so many amazing moments that occur to me yet they frequently pass me by. Because, I’m not in the moment. I’m worried about a previous moment or anxious about a future moment. I spend so much wonderful time with Phoenix. He’s MY Tucker. Yet, even as we walked today before work I got choked up inside that I can’t fathom being able to handle “that day”. There is one special occasion that I’m able to capture though. Friday night when I get home from work. I’m always in the moment for several hours. I so wish I could allow every day/night to be like that. Ok, I’ll get off the Kristi Kouch now and thank you for listening. Feel free to bill me. AWESOME post, my dear!! 🙂February 7, 2014 – 8:02 pmReplyCancel

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