Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Perhaps one of the biggest rewards a parent receives from a toddler is seeing his smile and witnessing him experience a truly liminal moment.  A moment when he’s completely fulfilled through climbing, building, digging, pouring or running. When time briefly stands still. Being a witness to this perfect peace makes me realize that Tucker has […]

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  • Becky - Wow, this is one of the best parenting posts I think I’ve seen. I was searching for speech and language delays for my nine year old and found you ha ha. but i.m very glad that i did because i have not been so inspired to be a good mom in a long time. thank you for writing this and i’m very happy i found your website.October 8, 2012 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Thank you Becky! Good luck with finding help for your nine year old! Does he/she have speech therapy in school/ IEP, etc?October 8, 2012 – 12:47 amReplyCancel

  • Pink Ninja Media - I second that, wow I was checking and have to say this is one of the best, most heartflet posts I have ever read! This comes from the heart, you feel it from you’re words! Keep on doing what you’re doing this is amazing and thank you for sharing this! I am sharing on all my social media networks if you don’t mind…..October 14, 2012 – 7:08 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Wow, thank you! I’d be honored if you would share this on Pink Ninja Media! I actually have your site bookmarked to register with, but since I do not have one month’s full data, figured I’d wait until this blog is a little older. Thank you so much for visiting!October 14, 2012 – 9:13 amReplyCancel

  • Lauren Ivy Chiong - I agree–this is beautiful! Lovely! It’s so important to let time stand still and let go of our agendas, even if only for a few moments in a day.October 15, 2012 – 3:43 amReplyCancel

  • MomboMombo - watching joy on a child’s face is like a personal smile from God — relish all the good times, take a lot of photos, and let your heart melt xoxoOctober 31, 2012 – 6:50 amReplyCancel

  • Michelle Swank - You are a phenomenal writer! I love everything about your style and your blog! Keep it up! 😀November 5, 2012 – 1:16 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Wow, Michelle, thank you! You’re gonna make me cry…thank you so much for visiting. And even more for commenting! I really appreciate the encouragement. So much.November 5, 2012 – 5:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Why I’m Blogging Finding Ninee | Finding Ninee - […] is that somebody laughed at one of my embarrassing stories or remembered to cherish a moment of timeless joy with her son, then it’s a […]November 15, 2012 – 10:42 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Wow, that was really beautiful, and a great reminder for me today. I take countless photographs for similar reasons, but I have a hard time just being still and BEING with my kids sometimes. Thanks for sharing that on TALU today!December 4, 2012 – 3:36 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Hi Stephanie,
      It’s hard sometimes to remember the moments when they’re happening. And thank you so much for visiting from TALU and commenting today!December 4, 2012 – 6:34 pmReplyCancel

For a number of reasons not really worth getting into, Robert and I haven’t pursued a trustworthy babysitting option for Tucker recently.  Combine that with Robert working really long hours and us being the oldest parents of a three-year old we know, we end up channeling most of our enjoyment on Tucker-centered activities.  Each weekend, […]

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  • Sara - Love it! Of COURSE you have to nurture your relationship with each other, for both your own sakes and for Tucker’s. Party on, you parents you! Love you all.October 6, 2012 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Love&Giggles - weep!October 6, 2012 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Julie - Excellent- date day!October 13, 2012 – 11:30 pmReplyCancel

Once upon a time (four weeks ago), Tucker was a seriously awesome sleeper.  He’d nap for three hours and then sleep through the night.  Upon finding out that his program at school doesn’t require the kids to nap, I considered picking him up after lunch each day.  They assured me that if Tucker becomes tired, […]

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  • Love&giggles - ever thought of a super early bedtime?? no nap then bed at 7?? I went through a similar story with Anya now if she naps she wont fall asleep till 10 or 11. I go to bed at 9:30 so you can see the trouble! Now bedtime is 7:30 on school nights and it works!!October 4, 2012 – 4:13 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Nichol, that’s what we’re trying now. We’re not there yet, as I am still reliant on my husband doing his part of the routine (now who’s on “the spectrum?”) with Tucker’s bedtime. So bedtime tonight was a late 9:00 but better than last night’s 9:30. I hope each day we’ll get 20 minutes to 30 minutes closer to the ideal 7:30. Thank you so much for the input!
      Do you need to take your kids outside to keep the sleepies away? That’s what I do with Tucker…October 6, 2012 – 6:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Sara - I’d say let him jump it out alone. Turn off the volume on the monitor and let him jump it out. If you can hold out, chances are good he’ll go back to sleep. Otherwise he learns it’s a good way to get Mommy to come.October 6, 2012 – 2:32 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Hey Sara, thanks for the comment. We’re on board with that now. When I do go in, I just tell him he has to lay down. Yesterday, I just yelled down the hallway. Today, I covered my head with a pillow. 🙂October 6, 2012 – 6:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Evelyn Jeanne Shaw - As a web site owner I think the material here is really magnificent. I appreciate it for your time. You must maintain it and keep it up forever! Excellent work.October 11, 2012 – 12:23 pmReplyCancel

  • The Middle World | Finding Ninee - […] whispers it to me anyway, usually when my son is doing something that, well, looks retarded (like jumping like a maniac in bed when he’s really […]October 25, 2012 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Joy - I just read this, Kristi (yes, I am reading your blog right from the beginning!) and I was wondering if Tucker’s sleep has improved since then. Or is he still bouncing in bed?December 29, 2012 – 8:44 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Hi Joy, I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you’re reading Finding Ninee from the beginning! You ROCK! He is sleeping better but does still jump up and down like a crazy man at 4:00 in the morning sometimes. He usually goes back to sleep, but hearing his “weee eee eeee eee” is still really annoying when it feels like the middle of the night!December 29, 2012 – 6:06 pmReplyCancel

      • Joy - I so know what you are talking about… Sunny is the worst sleeper ever. It wasn’t before he was 4 1/2 years old that he even started to sleep through the night and he still does not do it on a regular basis but only now and then! The dark circles around the eyes are as big as the Grand Canyon! 😉December 30, 2012 – 2:55 amReplyCancel

        • admin - Ugh. Here’s to better sleep for all of us in 2013! I can’t really complain as Tucker usually does sleep through the night but this jumping thing is just crazy! And I have no idea why he does it.December 30, 2012 – 10:09 amReplyCancel

I’m over-tired and under-whelmed, so I’m lazing out on this post and instead asking you what funny t-shirts you’ve seen or own for your kids.   I’m a bit obsessed with them and find great comedic relief in putting the ones we have on Tucker.  Here are some of his funny t-shirts: “I still live […]

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  • Sara - For babies, I like “mother sucker.” But there’s also:
    “As a matter of fact, I WAS born yesterday”
    “Living proof that geeks get it on”
    “Does this diaper make my butt look big?”
    :’)October 4, 2012 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Love&Giggles - My all time fav
    “all mommy wanted was a backrub”October 5, 2012 – 5:17 pmReplyCancel

I’m feeling a little raw tonight, for some reason.  I’m not happy with a few of my recent posts, and although I know that not every one must be funny, or insightful or earth shattering, I feel like “What’s the point?” if they’re not at least a little bit of one of them.  Before saying […]

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  • Sara - I’m actually glad to hear it. Whereas I find the blog VERY entertaining, I expected to hear more about spectrum behaviors (and just what the heck IS “normal” anyway?? –asking for a friend) and such. Funny stuff is good; stuff from the heart is better.

    I love that Tuck has moments of such clarity. I don’t think that’s limited to spectrum kids; I think everyone gets moments like that, moments where they connect and Get It. Still, I can see how much more special they’d be in a kid who often can’t connect. Go, Tucker.October 2, 2012 – 10:42 amReplyCancel

  • admin - Yay! This is exactly what I wanted to read. And Tucker connects with us, it’s more that he doesn’t always get our emotions. There are times when he’ll laugh at us when we say “Ow!” So when he totally Got It yesterday, I was like “Yes! Success!” 🙂October 2, 2012 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

    • Sara - Wait, there are times I laugh at you when you say “ow.” I don’t think that’s appropriate criteria. 😉 ….actually, I know exactly what you mean. There are times when pseudo-stepson doesn’t understand my affect. He hears the words, but doesn’t always hear the tone or emotion behind them. (I think he’s learned to look for visual cues).October 2, 2012 – 6:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Kevin - Wow- good for Tucker and good for mom. You actually BOTH noticed each other at the same time. Awesome.
    “The Spectrum”… Sounds like something from a divergent Wizard of Oz, or something: “Follow the Spectrum Path” they sing as they traipsed along a multicolored trail. Yet as much as it is being mentioned and talked about, it is hard to find a salient, crystalline definition that isn’t couched in clini-speak. Something a parent can point to and say “YES! That’s what my precious child has, that’s it!”
    But “it” is a moving target. There may be as many layers/versions of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (the Autism Spectrum?) as there are kids who get this diagnosis. My son is a l m o s t mainstream, almost a neuro-typical kid. I don’t know if he ever will be, but my hope is that he, and Tucker, and so many like them so close to the magical “norm” will make it. They are so close. As Tucker gets a little older, who knows? He has a super-mom, so he has more than a fighting chance.

    Thanks for this space.October 2, 2012 – 11:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Veronica Dowdy - I have been writing a blog for a couple of years now and it’s been interesting, whenever I write for me, to get something out of my chest, it comes out naturally. But when I’m trying to impress others, it’s difficult. I’m always wondering if I’ll be funny enough or if I’ll offend anyone. Writing for myself gives me so much more freedom and many times I’m able to answer my own questions… no editing required.

    Congratulations on your son’s improvements by the way. My little girl has been struggling a bit in school and I too go through frustration so your blog really spoke loudly to me,October 3, 2012 – 2:30 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Hi Veronica, I’m glad you found Finding Ninee. Being so new to this, I jump up and down each time somebody new finds this space. Did you find it from The Moms Blog? Just curious. Also, is your blog happinessisafirmbutt? I will check it out! Thanks so much for the comment. And I hope you and your little girl work out her school struggles. It’s so hard to watch our little ones have a hard time with anything.October 26, 2012 – 2:59 pmReplyCancel

  • admin - Hi Veronica, I’m glad you found Finding Ninee. Being so new to this, I jump up and down each time somebody new finds this space. Did you find it from The Moms Blog? Just curious. Also, is your blog happinessisafirmbutt? I will check it out! Thanks so much for the comment. And I hope you and your little girl work out her school struggles. It’s so hard to watch our little ones have a hard time with anything.October 3, 2012 – 3:47 pmReplyCancel

  • admin - Thanks Kevin! Ya, Tucker’s always been good at noticing us. He hasn’t always been great about understanding when we’re annoyed. I know he’s only three, but it can be really frustrating when I’m getting angry or annoyed and he thinks my mad face is funny. He’ll even scrunch up his eyebrows and feel them which is hilarious to watch but also sad. What’s he thinking? “Ooh! So if I look like this, I’ll get my way!” or what? And you’re so right about the crazy spectrum. I recently read “if you’ve met one child with autism, you’ve met one child with autism.” I suppose the same could be said without the word “autism” in there: “if you’ve met one child, you’ve met one child.” Thanks for all of your insight and support!October 3, 2012 – 3:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Daphne Honore - Hey Kristi, You had an entry asking for suggestions about speech development, and now that I have an actual keyboard in front of me, I can’t find the entry, so I’m responding here.
    Braxton had gross motor delays: 90% my fault (no seriously, I swadled him until he was way too old, and I never put him down), 10% really big kid. Once we did tons of physical therapy and got him crawling (11 months), and walking (17 months), we realized he had speech delays. I’ll take an equally high percent of the blame for that one…I doted on him, stayed home with him, and usually knew what he wanted before he did, and certainly before he asked. What I thought made me a good mom was actually crippling my kid. So we did months of speech therapy, and now at four, he randomly asks questions like, “do I look distinguished?” We never had “the spectrum” conversation with our pediatrician, so I’m in a different situation, but speech therapy did help him…and perhaps more importantly, it helped me help him. Of course, like all things, there’s a ton I’ve already forgotten, and most I would assume you already know, but I’ll list the strategies I do remember (in no particular order) in the event that something helps a bit.
    1. NEVER, EVER give him anything he doesn’t ask for. It doesn’t matter if he signs or speaks, but he HAS to try something more than pointing and grunting.
    2. Always read and speak to him in the way that you want him to read/speak. For example: “This is a train.” Rather than: “What’s that?” Spend all your time identifying and none of it asking.
    3. Work with his mouth. Touch his lips, make funny faces in the mirror with him, let him feel your lips when you make “popping” sounds or anything else. Always try to get him to imitate you.
    4. Buy the really fat straws and cut them into about 4 inch pieces. Have him blow cotton balls, leaves, or anything else with them. Often kids with speech delays have lazy lips. I don’t know how that was possible given Braxton nursed at least a billion hours in the first year of his life, but I tried everything they told me to do!
    5. They told me they don’t know why, but kids with speech delays often crave oral stimulation…again, nursing wasn’t enough? Braxton loved spicy food, crunch, texture, etc. We bought him an electric toothbrush and let him carry it around, we used it on his teeth, tongue, and lips. Apparantly if they crave that, you should indulge it in healty ways.
    6. Read, read, read, read, read, read, read to him. The more exposure he has, the faster he will make up for delays when he does start talking. I’m stunned how many words my kids say that I can trace back to an event or conversation that took place BEFORE they were speaking. That little sponge is absorbing things whether he’s repeating them or not.

    That’s all I can think of right now. I hope there’s some new idea, or reminder of an idea you’d forgotten, in there. I’ll be praying for you and Tucker!October 5, 2012 – 11:59 pmReplyCancel

    • admin - Hi Daphne, thank you so much for taking the time to write this. I’m convinced that at least part of Tucker’s speech delay is also my fault. Similar to your situation, I stayed at home with him and also knew what he wanted before he asked. We’re really focused on making him ask for what he wants these days. Usually, we meet with success, but sometimes it’s so hard to keep it up. I’ll say “open” and he’ll say “this” or “yes” sometimes 30+ times before he either walks away (not worth it), throws a total fit (the hardest) or actually says it (success!).
      I hadn’t heard of the straw idea and think Tucker would really enjoy that so I’ll definitely incorporate that into his therapy. I also really like your suggestion of him touching my lips and imitating popping sounds.
      Oh, and sadly, we’re still in fail mode regarding anything to do with teeth brushing. He has about 8 different cool toothbrushes, including an electric one that he likes to play with – but not use on his mouth.
      Thank you so much for this comment!October 6, 2012 – 6:19 pmReplyCancel

      • admin - Daphne, I realized that I responded to your comment a bit selfishly and I want to apologize for that. I had no idea that Braxton had speech delays – who does really??
        And I am on a sleepless high right now, ready for bed but also wanted to thank you so much for including us in your prayers. I’ll return the favor.October 6, 2012 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Sara - Daphne, Great post! While I can’t sympathize, I can empathize. Oh, the guilt of feeling you’re being SuperMom only to realize it might actually be hampering. Crushing! …I love the straw idea, and of course, I’ve always been a fan of read, read, read with kids. Even if they don’t sit still, even if it seems they’re not even listening, they are absolutely listening.
      Thank you so much for sharing.October 6, 2012 – 7:06 pmReplyCancel

  • MomboMombo - sing to him! silly simple songs – sing sing and sing some more! Hey diddle diddle, the cat has the fiddle, and the cow jumped over the moon (and then MOOOOOOO) and the little dog laughed (and I wait for the kids to hahahahahaha)… and the dish ran away with the spoon! and then we run around looking for the spoon… every day.
    or, popeye the sailor man (boop boop), he lives in a garbage can (boop boop), he eats all his spinach and fights to the finish, he’s popeye the sailor man (boop boop)… kids love love to learn songs, and am also so pleased when all the words are memorized by them within less than an hour! and we giggle and giggle some more. Well, I don’t know if this helps, but it helped the blue-blue boy…. xoxoxoOctober 26, 2012 – 6:28 amReplyCancel

    • admin - I will sing more! Thank you SO MUCH for the comment! Your grandkids are lucky to have you be silly and sing for them 🙂October 26, 2012 – 3:00 pmReplyCancel

  • MomboMombo - these short people are kids – just want to laugh and be accepted by all those around them. Laugh, joke, giggle, be silly. when it’s time to grab a less than 5 second learning block – do it… then giggle some more. Less stress, more laughing. I truly believe it~ <3October 26, 2012 – 6:30 amReplyCancel

    • admin - Less stress, more laughing. Sounds perfect <3October 26, 2012 – 3:00 pmReplyCancel

One of Tucker’s really weird (and annoying) behaviors is to bite anything inflatable.  Whether it’s a balloon, a beach ball, or a supercool inflatable airplane that he won at one of the festivals we’re constantly going to, he ends up popping it with his teeth.  Sometimes, this happens fairly quickly (like if we’re at a […]

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  • Love&Giggles - cutest pouty face ever!October 1, 2012 – 7:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Crayola Killing | Finding Ninee - […] when I told you about Tucker’s really bizarre habit of biting inflatable toys?  I’m sad to report that yet another bit the dust yesterday. While at a fall festival yesterday, […]October 14, 2012 – 7:11 pmReplyCancel

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