Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Halloween costumes pretty much suck for women. Unless, of course, you want to be a Wonder Woman Skank and jiggle along the sidewalks of your neighborhood wearing tights while pretending that you’re 25 years 15 years younger. I’ve never been the Sexy Nurse, the Sexy Wonder Woman Skank, the Sexy Vampire (ok maybe I tried […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Shay - Okay, I’m laughing hysterically because a few years ago, some friends insisted I dress up for a party. I HATE dressing up for Halloween, so I found a Wonder Woman t-shirt (cape included) and wore it with jeans. And told them to leave me the hell alone b/c it counted. Haha!!

    I think you did a GREAT job on the costume, by the way!October 24, 2013 – 10:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Love your tiara, Kristi! I’ve always wanted to be something skanky for Halloween, but that ship has sailed. Now I’d just look pathetic instead of skanky. Or both.October 24, 2013 – 10:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - You guys are like the Incredibles! I love it!! And that SuperMom t-shirt is just perfect. 🙂October 24, 2013 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I loved that fake belly on Robert and seriously could so see Kevin doing something like this. I am no fun and haven’t dressed up since having my kids, but you guys are truly awesome!! 🙂October 24, 2013 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - love the costumes…the family of superheros ROCKS! He truly is dedicated and so proud of his fake tummy.

    I should have posted Dino’s old costumes…what a great idea. OMG…the three piggies, that would have been awesome to see.October 24, 2013 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Shay,
    You ROCK for wearing jeans under your Wonder Woman costume! For real! Awesome!!!
    hahah thanks, friend. Sometimes, Ghetto DIY works.
    —
    Dana,
    The tiara was really the finishing touch. And really? Sucks those sailed ships…sigh…
    —October 24, 2013 – 10:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Sarah,
    HAHA, not perfect, which is maybe perfect?
    —
    Janine,
    You should dress up!
    —
    Karen,
    I drew the three piggies but then my husband told me it was rude and offensive…sigh…
    —October 24, 2013 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this costume idea!!! I hate Halloween parties for that costume reason alone. The last two years we’ve declined a HUGE neighborhood one, mostly because of the costume thing. My husband is 6’5″ and not “tiny” and let’s just say my husband’s wife (aka “me”)isn’t so “tiny” herself. Now I wish we had said yes to that invite. I could totally do this! And you and your family totally rock that out!!!October 24, 2013 – 10:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Courtney - You guys are so cute and such great parents. I never wear any costume. I used to love Halloween, but somewhere I lost loving it. I love your family picture! It is pricelessOctober 24, 2013 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerith,
    HAHA, we’re not a tights-wearing family I guess and hey, it works right! It’s not too late to steal our idea!
    —
    Courtney,
    I know. I pray that you’ll get it back. And thanks, friend. xoxxo.
    —October 24, 2013 – 10:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - This was hilarious. First of all when I got to the end I said, “Oh” at Robert’s stomach. And then, “Ohhhhh” after I read your explanation. You captioned Tucker perfectly. You crack me up. Love the post. The things we do for our kids.October 24, 2013 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
    HAHAA to “OH!” at Robert’s stomach. I seriously was like “Why would you want to look fatter????” But he did…
    Yes, the things we do for our kids, indeed…October 24, 2013 – 10:43 pmReplyCancel

  • K - OMG. I LOVE your costumes!! I am currently in the middle of writing an essay (this week has been ridiculously busy for me…three midterm exams and a 5-6 page paper all around the same time!) and I decided to take a quick break to read your post…SO glad I did! You really ARE a super mom, and I love love love your costumes! The fake belly is hilarious, too!

    For my last year of trick-or-treating, my brothers and one of my friends wore all black and then attached glowsticks to our black clothes in the shape of stick figures…it was awesome because in the dark, all you could see were the glowsticks in the outline of a stick figure. So I guess that would be my most creative Halloween costume, although I don’t think it’s as good as yours!

    And then there was the year (when we were 12! Still a little embarrassed over this one) that my brothers and I dressed as Snap, Crackle, and Pop from the Rice Krispies cereal…my mom had been begging us to do it for YEARS and we finally agreed because it clearly meant a lot to her.

    Thanks for sharing! I always look forward to your posts!October 24, 2013 – 10:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - K,
    I’m so glad you took a break from studying, too. Also think you’d like yesterday’s Our Land…anyway, the glow stick idea is AWESOME! As is the whole Snap, Crackle, Pop one and I’d love to see a photo of that…love it.
    —October 24, 2013 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Tricia - One Halloween I wore a stuffed bag of trash and went as a…bag of trash. At the party that night I found that I couldn’t sit down–I kept sliding off the furniture.October 25, 2013 – 12:35 amReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - What? You wouldn’t be Wonder Woman? Why, shame on you! Tucker still looked like he was pretty satisfied with the results, although your hubby looks more like Elvis on the jelly roll diet! 🙂 Good post!October 25, 2013 – 1:00 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Such a gorgeous idea, and youse all look great. Tucker’s face though! Wow!

    He’s SO CUTE as the Red Fireman – his grin just draws me right in and I want to pinch his cheeks and give him all the candy.

    I think I love alligator-you the most though – that looks like an EPIC costume (and where’s the rest? ey?)

    Because it’s not a ‘thing’ here, (well, it’s getting to be more of a ‘thing’, but never used to be) I never went trick-or-treating in my life. And never had a costume. Or went to a halloween party.

    The whole saga has just utterly passed me by, so it’s great to live vicariously through joining in here and seeing what everyone else does/has done.October 25, 2013 – 1:46 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - Great costumes! I like the fake belly A LOT!!

    But tell my: why are you wearing a dressing gown? Is it because we moms are always tired? 😉October 25, 2013 – 2:31 amReplyCancel

  • Misty - Now that is real commitment! I love it! I haven’t had the guts to dress up with my kids!October 25, 2013 – 5:37 amReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - Why does every costume for women start with “sexy”? Sexy Ghost…Sexy Mouse…Sexy block of cheese—you name it. It’s always “sexy”. Thank goodness you un-skanked (de-skanked?) the super hero look for moms. The ketchup stain was inspired, too! 🙂
    Tucker is absolutely ADORABLE. Love his Halloween looks through the years. You guys are dedicated! (a fake belly is further than I’d be willing to go, but then again, my own belly would probably suffice and I wouldn’t need it!) –LisaOctober 25, 2013 – 7:24 amReplyCancel

  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - Love it! The ketchup stain is the best and your family looks great together. I love that your husband bought a fake belly.

    I am so not a fan of women’s Halloween costumes for the same reason. Your creativity is perfect.October 25, 2013 – 8:13 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - OMG!! That is hilarious! The irony of that Super Mom shirt is awesome! My husband and I son’t dress up, but he has a blue M&M costume that he wore to a company Halloween party years ago (before we had kids). My girls want us to all get different colored M&M costumes and dress up together! (BTW – I snorted out loud at the three pigs and a Jewish wolf line!)October 25, 2013 – 9:38 amReplyCancel

  • Emily - Well, that picture is priceless as far as I’m concerned…u guys look awesome! I think we tried a family-themed Halloween once, but I may have given up and put on a witch hat and said I was a “mean mommy.” One year I was very pregnant and could have had fun with that, but I was too tired to be creative. All 3 of my boys were superman at one point and one year the dog was Superdog. Tucker makes an adorable superhero.:) P.S. Oh and that ketchup stain — perfection.October 25, 2013 – 9:44 amReplyCancel

  • Anita@ Losing Austin - Priceless!

    I only wish I had the bod (ever) to pull off a skank costume. I’d rock it!October 25, 2013 – 11:19 amReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - OK, you may or may not know that I have an aversion to LOLs, but in this case, like 100 LOLs. First of all, to my own post! 🙂 As I mentioned in my reply to your comment, if there’s ever a time to be slutty Wonder Woman, it’s when you’re 22! At least I wore it at the appropriate life stage, no? And also- the fake belly. So awesome. I adore your family photo. Way to go, crafty mama… xoOctober 25, 2013 – 11:32 amReplyCancel

  • Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe - OMG, that cowboy shot with the pumpkin is just too precious. Looks like an ad for something. Kudos to you for not only dressing up for Halloween but for going that extra mile in coordinating with Tucker.

    By the looks of your transfer mishap, I think you let it cool for too long. I worked in a T-Shirt store on Cape Cod during the summers as a kid, and that would happen if we didn’t peel them right away. If you ever try that again, use a cloth or something to rub over it, then peel it off. And if you want it to last for more than just a few wash cycles, make sure to run it through inside out. 🙂October 25, 2013 – 11:41 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I love it AND it is what you all are. Superheroes. For real.
    Scarlet is going as Sofia the First – Disney’s new answer to the previously princess-less lives of toddlers and preschoolers.
    Since Sofia’s sidekick is a talking rabbit and our Des likes to hop, he will be a ridiculous bunny.
    I will be Snow White. My sister offered to lend me her “Sexy Snow White” costume but I’m going to two kid parties and I’m not positive everyone wants to see my naked thighs on Halloween?
    So I bit the bullet and bought a renaissance-y Snow White costume. All long velvet and half off since we slacked until the week before Halloween.October 25, 2013 – 12:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Kelly McKenzie - Love, love that you guys all dress up! So heartwarming to see your Super Mom decal issues. My kids have many, many stories about my botched attempts at such a thing. I did not get the sewing gene. Hand sewed my daughter’s brownie badges onto the banner. I was SO proud. Until I realised I sewed the banner onto my jeans at the same time.October 25, 2013 – 1:02 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - (oh! so the first picture of you and Tucker was not you wearing the Zombie Statue of Liberty costume!)

    Tucker’s expression in the last photo is showing the signs of early onset, ‘jeez!-they’re-adults-and-this-could-really-be-cool-but-do-they-have-to-act-so-silly’?, disappointment in parental units. (though he *is* demonstrating the ‘do this right at all costs’ determination that I vaguely remember from being his age.)October 25, 2013 – 2:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - I love your Super Mom costume! Check out my Super Sarah one. I created it in a few hours 14 years ago, and it definitely rivals the ghetto-ness of yours.October 25, 2013 – 2:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - AW Kristi that made me smile! Way to go Momma! I would have totally done the same thing. Regardless of whether you’re wearing the logo, you’re already Supermom to me! 😀October 25, 2013 – 4:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - hahaha! you are one funny girl, Kristi Campbell. When you discover the secret of drawing on fabric, please make sure you tell me about it too. Love your drawing of Wonder Woman Skank and your caption for your dad’s friend … LOL. You guys are such fun parents for always getting into the spirit of things like you do. I also love that it is possible to purchase a fake belly … I wonder if there is any market for such a thing outside of the Halloween season?? Have an awesome time on Thursday night 🙂October 25, 2013 – 6:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I love how supportive you are! I can’t say I love dressing up anymore. Used to. Big time. But for some reason, costumes no longer have the lure they did in my youth. I did love dressing up the kids. My favorite one for Lindsey was when we decked her in a pumpkin costume when she was two. Most of the other costumes were store-bought and not so exciting. But the kids always got to be what they wanted. Happy Halloween to you and your crafty family!October 25, 2013 – 7:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Cathy Harlow - You absolutely nailed Tuckers expression! Funny stuff. You’re such a good mom. =)October 25, 2013 – 7:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Oh God I love your family! I don’t know if it is your husband’s belly, your fabulous tiara floating above a ketchup stain or that AWESOME look of annoyance on Tucker’s face, but I am now officially in love with your family. I also have a tendency to gravitate toward all things ghetto, so the whole arts and crafts snafu didn’t hurt either. I love it!October 25, 2013 – 8:49 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - My Skewed View - OK, freaking adorable. Really. I love this. And I am sure you wouldn’t look like a jiggle skank in Wonder Woman. But, I’ll trust your judgement 😉 My sister went as her pre-child.
    Isaiah thinks I’m going to be a storm trooper, minion to his Darth Vadar. I probably better get on that…..October 25, 2013 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - Seriously! What is the deal with the slutty costumes?? I hate that. It just makes me self-conscious about my boobs and my not-tight tummy. So my default is a hippie b/c I get to wear jeans and a complete top. As you can tell by my post, I’ve had this idea for over a decade! I love that Tucker has been a fireman twice. Ansley is going to be a butterfly/fairy/magical thing for the 3rd year in a row. Every year it’s been a different color. This year we’re going with blue. So I’m on a CRAFTY mission to make a blue/pink tutu (not too poofy, she says!) and blue sparkly antennas this weekend. Hopefully I can avoid the crafty disaster that was your original t-shirt, but I wouldn’t count on it. I’m only about halfway-crafty and I’m much better with nails, hammers, and plywood than tulle and sequins!October 25, 2013 – 11:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - So…did you get a brazillian wax when you rocked the wonder woman costume?
    The firestone tire kills me!!!
    If your kid gets any cuter…I’m boarding a plane and coming to your house to pinch his cheeks and rub buddah’s bellyOctober 26, 2013 – 7:31 amReplyCancel

  • Laura - Absolute A++++ for effort! I think your costumes turned out great!October 26, 2013 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - oh my shit that’s such greatness!! hahaha! I LOVE IT! You guys are seriously the cutest ever, and Tucker doesn’t look embarrassed AT ALL. LOL.

    I love the fake belly and your ketchup stain.

    I’m a zombie this year and it’s my favorite costume yet. I’ve been a witch, a vampire, etc., but never anything revealing and sexy…blah.October 26, 2013 – 12:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Catherine Gacad - halloween is one of my favorite holidays, but i am an old pregnant lady now and will probably be in bed before anyone even starts passing out candy! the 2nd trimester gets better i hope!October 26, 2013 – 1:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - So this whole thing made me love you even more. I love how you costume-support Tucker, that you went into all that effort to create the logo and I love how it turned out. You guys look like a gorgeous Pixar family, with or without Robert’s fake belly. And, OK, yes, I did wonder about that. XOOctober 26, 2013 – 8:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama C. - Kristi, I loved this post for a myriad of reasons, I don’t even know where to begin! Here goes: Love how you made yourself the fatter Wonder Woman Skank; I’m still LMAO at your dad’s “Pervo friend” (I think every dad has one of those, btw); where did you find Tucker’s fireman costume? That is SUCH a good one; and T’s expression in the last pic is priceless.

    In these parts, we usually do more for Halloween than what we’re doing this year, but, energy-wise, I’m pretty tapped out. DS is a football player and DD is his cheerleader. Unique, I know. Eh, I’ll step it up next year, when, hopefully, I’ll be getting more than four hours of sleep. :-/October 27, 2013 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Deb @ Urban Moo Cow - LOL! I love the last picture. I agree though… we should stop dressing up after the age of 25. The funny thing is I don’t even think your wonderwoman drawing LOOKS FAT. {sigh}October 28, 2013 – 10:32 amReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Oh my gosh! Hilarious! I love this! Those costumes are awesome!!! My dad had a pervo friend too. Yuck!October 28, 2013 – 5:31 pmReplyCancel

  • SmackOfHam - Really great costumes for the family! I liked when my daughter was young enough for me to persuade into wearing what I wanted her to for Halloween – she was a Ghostbuster a couple of years ago and I was ecstatic. Now, at age seven, she’s gonna be whatever she wants to be….fun holiday post!October 29, 2013 – 6:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Rabia @TheLiebers - When I said I was planning a super hero costume, my husband got a little excited. Then I informed him it would not be one of *those* costumes. Burst his bubble good!!November 1, 2013 – 8:24 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I love you guys!November 3, 2013 – 7:57 pmReplyCancel

Today’s Our Land post has been written by a lovely and amazing person, who has generously contributed to The Land of Empathy and Wonder in the past. With the following post, she’s choosing to remain anonymous. Her anonymity obviously takes nothing away from her powerful and amazing words. I hope that you’ll let her know […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kerri - This post completely hit home for me. I am always wondering how to make sure Allie doesn’t become that glass child. That she gets the focus and attention she deserves. While having a special sib makes her more empathetic and aware it also drains on her I am sure. She always seems to take it in stride that it is easy to forget she may be struggling.

    I am also the “good girl” except I was the oldest who tried to keep under the radar in a drama filled family. Love at a distance sums up my relationship with my immediate family. It is always safer that way. On the upside it protects my children from being afflicted by their behaviors.

    Thank you for writing this!October 23, 2013 – 9:09 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerri,
    My bet is that you’re doing an amazing job with Allie. The fact that you think about how living with Boo affects her in both good and bad ways says a lot. Love from a distance. What a powerful description.October 23, 2013 – 9:14 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Neither of my children have any real disabilities, but still as a mother to two, I am always fearing that one child will feel like I am giving more attention to the other then themselves. I try my best, but I think we all can have a tendency to give more attention to one over the other without even realizing it. Wonderful post and truly is so true about making sure that siblings don’t be made to feel opaque.October 23, 2013 – 9:22 amReplyCancel

  • Anita@ Losing Austin - <3

    As the sister of a missing adult, I sometimes feel that in my family- we are all so focused on him and finding him that I'm often in that place. I think I always was to some extent, but never understood it till the last few years.

    You're doing so right by your oldest, making him seen and heard, and standing up for him as well.October 23, 2013 – 10:19 amReplyCancel

  • Dana - It is so important to give a voice to glass children – thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you are taking your own childhood experiences and making sure your son feels and knows he is opaque.October 23, 2013 – 10:45 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - That’s a really great term, and well done for striving to give BOTH your children the support they need. I hope that you learn to ask for help – apparently that’s important. And that you find ways to make your husband feel needed. That’s also important.

    Awesome post.October 23, 2013 – 12:48 pmReplyCancel

  • Laura - Please tell your friend, thank you so very much for sharing her story. It really resonated with a lot of things that are currently going on with my family. Let her know that she’s not alone and that people appreciate her courage to share.October 23, 2013 – 1:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Wow, that’s an amazing thought – the siblings. And the term “glass child.” I think I was a bit of a glass child after my father passed and it seemingly hit my older sister more than me. Really, she just understood more. And she was given more because maybe everyone though since I was so young, I’d be fine.
    It wasn’t the case, though. All of that pressure did sort of implode before it had to explode.
    I think about that a lot with my two kids. How no matter how different their needs are, they are still there. Their needs.October 23, 2013 – 2:38 pmReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - An amazing post in every way. I will be thinking about this one all night, I can tell.-AshleyOctober 23, 2013 – 8:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Even from the title of this one, I knew where you were coming from. I’ve watched that video (maybe a year ago or so). VERY compelling and SO made me think about my “other” daughter who is 23 months older than my daughter with moderate cerebral palsy (17 and 19yo respectively). This is such a side-stepped and forgotten issue. Thanks for bringing it to the forefront here.October 23, 2013 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Very well said. As my youngest son battles an illness now, I worry a lot about my two older sons. There is a program called, “super sibs” for them, but so far they have said they are not interested. But, I already see the effect this is having on them. My husband and I are expecting them to be so empathetic and understanding and mostly they are, but sometimes they don’t want to walk on egg shells and they just want to act like normal brothers. It’s all a very hard balance. Thank you for sharing your story with us.October 23, 2013 – 9:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - On a theoretical level this was a fascinating read, as I’ve never come across this term before and you did such a great job explaining it. On an emotional level I ached for your glass child and for yourself. I’m an only child but I feel that I’ve taken on this role in some friendships and work relationships I had and therefore easily connected with the words you wrote in your notebook and the ones you wrote in your post. Very well written.October 23, 2013 – 10:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    I think all parents feel like this (and all siblings, too as I wonder if my brothers wonder whether I favorite one more) but I don’t think you have anything to worry about…
    —
    Anita,
    I can imagine that with so much of your life focused on finding Austin, that that is very true…and very similar, actually…
    —
    Dana.
    Here is to opaque.
    —
    Considerer,
    Yes, yes. yes, making all feel important, including the self. Her self.October 23, 2013 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Laura,
    She knows, I’m pretty sure she’s reading these. And thank you. Hugs.
    —
    Tamara,
    YES. They are still there. Their needs. You.
    —
    Dose
    xo
    —-
    Kerith,
    I need to watch the video again. Love the author of this !!!October 23, 2013 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
    It is a hard balance. I noticed the same with my step-daughter, and feel like I failed her, huge…sigh…
    —
    Katia,
    yes. what you said. me, too…October 23, 2013 – 11:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Wow. I understand your pain, your concern. My son was three years younger than my daughter. She created a lot of drama and I often (as my son grew older) saw him slip out the door and run to the neighbor’s house. He just didn’t like all the noise and fuss Lindsey made. When we traveled, Lindsey turned what often started out as pleasant family vacations into total busts. I wanted these idyllic family getaways, but they never happened when Lindsey was with us. Michael just seemed to disappear into a book to avoid her drama. Lindsey finally asked not to go because travel caused her a great deal of anxiety. The thought of not taking her with us caused me a great deal of anxiety. Until we tried it. My daughter stayed with grandparents (which she loved!) and we had one-on-one alone time with our son who loved to travel. We sent Lindsey postcards. (she still loves to get mail). Everyone ended up being happy. I worried what others would think about our decision, but in the end, it really helped us develop a special bond with our son. Lindsey still gets the majority of the attention in our family. At 33, she lives down the road. Michael moved to Texas. He calls, but personally, I think he likes being farther away from his sister. It’s more peaceful there. I hope you find a balance. Some people may not agree with our way to find it. But it worked for us. Each family will have to figure out what works for them.October 24, 2013 – 12:19 amReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Oh how powerful this post is! It hits all the nerves that a child growing up in a family dynamic with a special needs child has…

    My heart cries out for this precious soul! In so many ways…

    It cries out for those who are silently trying to be good, and survive a world with a sibling who has any special needs.

    Thank you- for sharing such a fragile part of your life- and for exposing the truth in what needs to be addressed in ALL families with special needs kids. Those precious siblings… oh how I have such a heart for them!October 24, 2013 – 1:43 amReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - This is such an interesting and illuminating post. As I read it I was reminded of how I used to feel when our girls were young and the younger one needed so much attention after being born extremely premature and having a few close calls. I have never heard of the term “glass child” before, but this post explains it very well. Our older daughter (aged 17 months when her sister was born) was often left with little warning at her grandparents or with friends as well as suddenly starting at a nursery. For years this seemed to have more impact on her than it did on her sister – she was clingy and often anxious. We have been very fortunate, and now our girls are in their teens and both are absolutely fine.

    I do think that talking about it with your children helps, though we are also lucky that our younger daughter mostly outgrew her health issues.October 24, 2013 – 4:35 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - My father died when I was young, and I always felt I had to keep it together for my mom. I relate to this post, although none of my siblings have special needs. I love that you recognized that something in yourself that was getting triggered by the comments about your son’s supposed resiliency, as well as the fact that you got him help with his struggles. He clearly is not transparent to you. Brava for ending the cycle! Powerful post!October 24, 2013 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - This is a huge window into the dynamics of these families. I’m reading the comments and everyone agrees. All of us were healthy, but I was the oldest of 5 and was kind of thrown to the side…as the good one…I can’t even compare that to this. I’m having a hard time putting it into words. But thank you for this.October 26, 2013 – 8:48 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - I do wonder if my daughter feels this way sometimes. My older son has ADD, OCD and behavior problems as well as most likely being on the spectrum. While we try to approach it positively so we don’t reinforce his negative behaviors, we feel the need to address the bad behavior ie hitting other children, refusing to comply with the teacher, etc. She has just started kindergarten and so far school has been perfect, unlike the nightmare that started when her brother entered school.

    She is all for encouraging her brother and cheering him on when he does well, and we try to give her lots of extra attention and talk with her frequently. So far she seems like a well adjusted, happy kindergartener, and I hope it continues!

    Thank you for writing this!October 27, 2013 – 12:29 pmReplyCancel

  • The Anonymous Author - Thank you to everyone for the thoughtful responses and support of this piece. It’s wonderful to see others sharing in the conversation – the more we think about siblings, the better they can support their siblings into adulthood and, just as importantly, have their own sense of identity that goes beyond being “the good one”. xoxo to Kristi for sharing my anonymous dirty laundry.October 27, 2013 – 4:50 pmReplyCancel

  • K - I read this post last week but didn’t realize that I forgot to comment. I know I’m a little late, but I just want to say thank you — thank you for remembering the glass child, for bringing this to Our Land…because it really is SO important. Thank you for giving these children a voice. This post is beautiful on so many levels.November 7, 2013 – 10:36 amReplyCancel

  • Andrea Binner - Thank youJuly 22, 2023 – 2:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Andrea Binner - I am no longer a drinker of alcohol. But I have often compared myself to Mr. Cellophane from the musical Chicago. When I have stood at a bar, waiting for the bArtender to notice me, they will serve everyone around me & then say “I didn’t notice you.” Anyone else have this experience?July 22, 2023 – 2:44 pmReplyCancel

Once, when I was sound asleep, I thought I heard the Voice of God. It went something like this: Him: “Wake UP!” Me (still dreaming): “Huh? Who are you? God?” Him: “Damnit, get up!” Me, blurry-eyed, squinting, and looking up to see this:   He who turned out to be my dad: “You never had […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kerri - That was YOU in the car next to me? Dude we had an awesome duet going until the light turned green.October 22, 2013 – 11:02 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerri!
    I thought you looked familiar. 😀
    —October 22, 2013 – 11:04 amReplyCancel

  • don - Haha, six hours of yard work. That’s what you get for being such a lush!October 22, 2013 – 11:08 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Don,
    Yeah, that was my dad’s go-to punishment.
    —October 22, 2013 – 11:10 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I never had to do yard work as punishment, but my dad’s favorite was just to give me the look and then usually make me clean indoors like the bathroom. Probably why I still hate cleaning the bathroom to this very day!October 22, 2013 – 11:34 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Oh, you and Dana today!! Lovely songs and meaningful and all of that. Jeff Buckley – he sounds like the voice of God to me. I wouldn’t even consider him a favorite since I only know half of one album of his!
    Too many to count. Music is the voice of God to me. In general. Sometimes in the car, Scarlet will ask for, “A song with piano and violin, but no words. Do it. Now.” And I do it happily. Oddly specific for a four-year-old, and oh so heavenly.October 22, 2013 – 11:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - I never did mind the little things…. 😉 Love that song. I would love to hear the throaty live version one. That drawing is hilarious. Was your dad sporting an 80’s afro?October 22, 2013 – 11:47 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine:
    Cleaning. A parent’s perfect punishment. They win. We lose.
    —
    Tamara,
    I’m not sure I even know Jeff Buckley! I need to check him out!
    —
    Kenya,
    HAHAH!! Not an afro but his head sure did look BIG hovering over me with the sun diffusing all distinguishable features!
    —October 22, 2013 – 12:22 pmReplyCancel

  • meeshie - Tori Amos.. and a million other things but definitely Tori.October 22, 2013 – 12:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Nina Simone. I have that very track in my YouTube favourites playlist 🙂 Love it.

    But for me, no-one can outdo Eva Cassidy. She has such purity to her voice. Even though I only know a few songs. If even I only knew ‘Songbird’, t’would be enough.

    And LOL at your Dad.

    Surely being freezing cold and sleeping in the yard would be punishment enough.

    Also finding it so, SO funny that you wrote a(nother?) ‘drunk’ story, given how I tagged you in mine…

    😉October 22, 2013 – 1:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Emil - I too am that woman at the red light…so we can laugh at each other when we both get to that intersection at the same time — which I’m convinced will happen some day, but that’s a whole other issue. And your opening to this post — hilarious and perfect. 🙂October 22, 2013 – 1:59 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - This is the only Nina Simone song I know, and while I’m sure you give it your all, my guess is that she sings it slightly better than you do in the car. But that’s the beauty of music; it speaks to me even as I butcher the melody with my hacksaw of a voice.October 22, 2013 – 3:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Ooo, I hadn’t heard this song, but I like it. 🙂 And I like that description of spiritual songs – hearing the voice of God.October 22, 2013 – 5:33 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - Nina… damn! Saturday Night smoke filled nightclub… the hope of happiness the thrill of risk of losing!

    (oh shit! this is a spiritual MT Tuesday… sorry, that horn part in the song gots to do something to any healthy human.)

    …which, somehow, totally ties in with my Dec 1963 pick (only your choice of songs-to-remind-us-all-of-our-nightsides is way, way cooler)October 22, 2013 – 7:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Beth Teliho - omg…love love this song. transcends me. she has the coolest voice. one of these days I’m going to have the balls to walk over to the cool table and join this music linky….October 22, 2013 – 8:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - OHMYGOSH I can’t get past the picture!!! That is freaking HILARIOUS!!! Did you really pass out in the yard? Oh that is too funny!!! That picture!!! Oh my oh my…. can’t stop!

    The song rocks. I don’t know the one with the lyrics- wish I could hear it!!

    And there are so SO many songs that literally bring me to my knees- and crack open my heart to God.October 22, 2013 – 11:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - I love your dad’s approach! No, we’re not going to drudge through all the crap that you did wrong last night, you’re just going to work your ass off. I might be a total loser for admitting this, but I don’t know Nina Simone very well. I know “Feel Good” but still…I don’t really know anything else. You’ve inspired me to download some of her songs. Love it.October 22, 2013 – 11:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Jen - See, on the one hand you make me laugh, and on the other you can be so serious and really right on. The lyrics to that song are amazing, so here I go to track it down, thank you for doing this for me, you are the bestest ever. Really. TTTx10October 23, 2013 – 12:52 amReplyCancel

  • Courtney - Ha! I love your story! There are so many songs I love. Some songs feel like messages like wonder wall, gone gone gone and little talksOctober 23, 2013 – 8:16 amReplyCancel

  • Louise - Mmmm – Nina Simone – a lovely song. As for singing in your car – people look at you funny? I wouldn’t know. I try to avoid direct eye contact with other drivers when I spontaneously break into song at the wheel. It’s totally different from texting at the wheel (using a phone while driving is illegal in my province) I still know where other drivers ARE – I just choose not to make … eyes, alright?

    Wish you’d found a video for your second choice – the lyrics were beautiful.October 23, 2013 – 11:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Angel The Alien - Nina Simone sounds like a cool singer! I can’t listen to the video right now because my mother is watching Gray’s Anatomy and I must be silent. But I will check it out later!October 24, 2013 – 9:38 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Bwhahah!!! The voice of God. How drunk were you? Man I remember those days. I can’t wait until my son does that shit…ummm…nope…but I’d get a lot of yard work done. I’d make him do bathroom duty.
    Me and the Jay-sus and the God man aren’t playing well and haven’t for quiet sometime.November 1, 2013 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - I did watch/listen to that Nina Simone video. What a beautiful voice! Around 1980, I was on my last few remaining months as a paper boy before I went to work at McDonald’s. My INCREDIBLY patient and allowing father knew I had been out drinking. He came stomping in, like right out of the movies, banging pots and pans together right in my face to wake me up. He said, “The paper batch is here so get up and get them folded! Then when you get back I have a whole list of chores for you!” I still remember that. U2’s “Beautiful Day” and S & G’s “The Sound of Silence” are two of my alltime favs! My God music would definitely be Enya. Pick any. Great post, Kristi! 🙂February 9, 2014 – 2:47 pmReplyCancel

I know that I’m not alone in continually feeling like there’s not enough time for anything. Like all of us, there are moments when I’m at work and realize that I haven’t yet replied to a personal email, a blogger’s comment, or purchased my brother’s birthday card. While spending time with my son, I often […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Rachel - We wrote about the same thing! I like yours better! 😉October 17, 2013 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - One of my favorite posts by you. I have that feeling not nearly often enough. Love this, Kristi!October 17, 2013 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - I love that. That “accidentally here.” I am so with you on that.October 17, 2013 – 10:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Rachel,
    Cool and awesome we had the same idea.
    —
    Kate,
    Aw, thanks huge, you!
    —
    Natalie,
    We should all be more accidentally here, yes? And thanks…
    —October 17, 2013 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - You said this quite perfectly and I must admit I had a lot of those wonderful moments today to be honest, because I played hooky on a Thursday, where I went out to lunch with Kevin who took a day off and then we took the girls to the local nursery to go on a hayride after we picked them up from pre-school. As Emma said, “It was the best day ever!” So, yes when I can relax and be just in the moment, it is pretty damn near perfect for me, too!! 🙂October 17, 2013 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Perfect topic. Perfect response to it.
    Today Scarlet told me I work too much and she gets bored. So we went for a late afternoon jaunt to the park. It was like spring out, but with fall colors. Can’t beat that. There at the park, we lost track of time as we sent her baby brother down slides for our own amusement, and I chased her really fast – to ensure that she sleeps late tomorrow.

    It was perfect. Even when Des pooped and I had forgotten my diaper bag and I used toilet paper, soap and water from the public restroom to get him at least presentable for another hour or so.

    I can’t believe I just admitted that on your blog. I hadn’t told anyone that except my husband! (the one who taught me how to clean a shower..not that I have two husbands)October 17, 2013 – 10:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - Oh. my. this. is. BEAUTIFUL.

    Seriously, I think this is my favorite post from you! You have so beautifully captured the difficulty, the ease, the wonder, and the joy of mindfulness. I heart you 🙂October 17, 2013 – 10:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - This post read like poetry to me. It was eloquent and had a beautiful rhythm to it. My recent challenges have made me realize so much more than ever that being here and in the moment is more important than anything else…you are fortunate (and smart) to have had that realization on your ownOctober 17, 2013 – 11:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Yes. Just yes. Being right-here is the very best part of all days.October 17, 2013 – 11:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    Yay!!! To playing Hookie! Hookie is almost always the Best Day 🙂
    —
    Tamara,
    While I disagree that it’s the perfect topic as I’ve been wondering what the best part of my day is for a couple of days, and not knowing, I do agree that taking a step back and remembering why they’re all perfect is important. And um. I am so not laughing at you over the poop. We were on a road trip once and had to stop at a gas station for paper towels and a crappy new t-shirt.
    And thanks for telling me…
    —
    Sarah,
    I heart you right back, friend. Big and huge.
    —
    Emily,
    Well. I’m going to try to not dismiss my words because I believe in them…while also feeling like I need to reassure you that you’ve always had this. Your focus has shifted, sure. But you’ve always always been there. It’s just harder to see, right now. But you are. And <3
    ---
    Dana,
    The best part. Love how we were on the same page!October 18, 2013 – 12:04 amReplyCancel

  • K - Your writing is so beautifully profound…your words reach me in a way that few people’s do. I love love love all of your posts, but I agree with a previous commenter who said that this one was one of her favorites!

    “The moments when I forget that I am, and, instead, am simply here.” Yesyesyes…I love this. And I needed this tonight. I just got finished studying for a giant biology exam that I have tomorrow, and sometimes I forget to live in the moment as well…that exam, it seems so monumental and all-consuming, when really it’s just a tiny little part of my life. I, too, need to forget for a little while and simply live in the moment.

    Thank you. Your writing has changed my perspective on life.October 18, 2013 – 12:39 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - I have spent so much of my life trying to complete list after list, while thinking about the thousands of things that needed to be accomplished in a single day. And doing so, I missed out on so many special moments in my children’s lives–as well as my own life. I totally agree that the best of a day is when you are in the moment. You (again) captured this perfectly for me and I bet for so many other mothers and fathers. My favorite line in this post? I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.

    You sure have a way with words, Kristi. I heart you.October 18, 2013 – 12:44 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Knew I’d love it. It’s absolutely gorgeous 😀 So glad you keep writing – please never stop.October 18, 2013 – 1:44 amReplyCancel

  • Christina Morley - That’s a wonderful place to be in and I forget too often how to play and have fun. Keep enjoying the moments.October 18, 2013 – 2:53 amReplyCancel

  • karen - oh man…you always make me cry woman…always, LOL.

    I think you captured what all moms feel…those little moments we often forget about but so cherish…great job.October 18, 2013 – 5:20 amReplyCancel

  • Christine M. (Cool Mom) - Tech Support for Stanley & Katrina - This is beautiful, Kristi. I definitely need more of these moments.
    Have a fantastic weekend!October 18, 2013 – 6:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Oh this is sweet as sugar babies. Loved it. I love it when I am accidentally here too. I try to plan every moment down to movie night. Last week on a whim Christopher wanted check out Big Lots. They put up a new one and we hadn’t been in there. We were home at the time, it was a Friday after school and I was kinda in chill not get for real dressed and do my hair because I don’t want to see anybody mode. So I said, “Why not, let’s go.” Just the simplest thing and we hadn’t fun walking through there. He spent ten dollars and I had an arm full of stuff that I eventually put back but it was fun – doing nothing in particular.October 18, 2013 – 10:46 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - I love that moment, that moment when we breatheOctober 18, 2013 – 11:57 amReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - Beautiful! I know exactly what you mean. I find myself having those moments and really wishing for more of them.-AshleyOctober 18, 2013 – 12:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah - You’re such a better person than I am. 🙂October 18, 2013 – 1:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - Wow, that was beautifully written. Probably the deepest post I’ve seen on FTSF today. I really wish I had more of those moments that you describe. I think I need to slow down sometimes to let that happen.October 18, 2013 – 2:55 pmReplyCancel

  • The Dose of Reality - This is just so right and real. I love when I read a post and it just puts something exactly how I’d want to put it, but know I’d never have written down so eloquently. “When I am outside myself and inside myself and simply feel.” Yes. That’s it exactly. I love this!! –LisaOctober 18, 2013 – 3:09 pmReplyCancel

  • TK - This is so beautifully expressed! I loved the part where you said you like the ‘me’ who is doing whatever you’re supposed to be doing at the moment. And yes, there’s always a niggling feeling that something else needs attention.October 18, 2013 – 3:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Wow, my friend. This might be one of my favorite posts you’ve ever written. I so long for those moments, too. They are perfection, and you captured something that I feel so acutely, but had no words for, and maybe didn’t even realize that I am feeling! (If that makes sense.) This is my favorite line: ” I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.” Yes. Amazing job here- really.October 18, 2013 – 4:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly - I agree, those short, truly “free” moments are great. When I enjoy the very essence of the now for what it is. No stress, no annoyance, just pure joy.October 18, 2013 – 5:04 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - very cool….as usual, you are describing my frickin reality, better than I have been able.

    (no, I know what you’re thinking!) the fact of the matter, I am doing this by proxy* (for which I am totally grateful, do not mistake that!) but you are doing it from a real person’s immediate experience and presenting the pieces and artifacts and remnants of your world that you wish to have others understand, and you are doing it ‘with heart.’

    Very powerful.

    I would suggest the discomfort (with our individual realities) sometimes changes, even as (or worse, ‘because of’) our gaining insight into our own realities. This is not a bad thing, it is however, at times, a confusing thing.
    Fortunately, as a people, we are *so* at home with ‘confusing’

    *the Doctrine being my ‘proxy’October 18, 2013 – 6:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma - Absolutely beautifully written and totally true. I think you have just summed up what millions of mothers are feeling but we don’t even necessarily recognise that we are feeling it. You have managed to describe it all so honestly. There are so many times during the day when we feel like we are not enough and, as you say, we miss out on the living the present when we are grieving moments before they’ve even begun. Have a wonderful weekend with your lovely boy.October 18, 2013 – 7:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - You hit the mommy nail on the head with every. single. word. This was such an accurate summary of MY inner state that it made me breathe in all of the ways described above by you. Terrific post.October 18, 2013 – 8:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Beautiful, Kristi! Those moments when you forget about time really are the best times!October 18, 2013 – 8:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - Kristi, that was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And here’s to more of those moments–for all of us!!October 19, 2013 – 10:12 amReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - Love this! The many roles of a mom/woman can sometimes spread us thin but we know we would never change it for the world. 🙂October 19, 2013 – 12:52 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - Dude. You are a rockstar. This is an amazing post, and so true and it makes me want to close my computer, but not until I comment and share 😉
    You are so right on, I hope you find more time to not care and just be you cause I love the just you you are.October 19, 2013 – 1:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - Ooh, I so agree and this was lovely.
    1. I love how you prefaced a post about being in the moment with the fact that you are not always in the moment, you know? I didn’t feel guilty for that reason.
    2. I admire that your writing voice is so uniquely YOU. I would know it was your writing even if your name wasn’t on the piece. You’ve found the mother effing sweet spot for your writing and it’s a joy to read.
    Sorry about the effing.
    xoOctober 19, 2013 – 2:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Living in the moment is a rarity…at least for me. I have to sometimes force myself NOT to multitask, the biggest “living in the moment” breaker. Thanks for the reminder to do that…and for articulating this is such a clear way!October 19, 2013 – 3:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Pam @ Whatevs... - Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. Those are the best times, for sure. And that picture- I LOVE it. This post reminds me of the other day, my 20 mo old and I ate popsicles together. It was probably a 20 minute endeavor (for her, not me), but I was present for every single lick, because I was having so much fun watching her enjoy the popsicle.October 19, 2013 – 10:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Menopausal Mother - Oh Kristi, this is so beautiful. Your writing just blows me away. So many people can relate to this but you have said it best right here .You need to submit this somewhere—it deserves some major attention. XOOctober 19, 2013 – 11:07 pmReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Brilliant piece of writing Kristi… just so raw and true and full of passion. My heart is drenched in every emotion you share through your words.
    Oh how I am with you in this… this… this…

    And your picture, took my breath away.October 20, 2013 – 10:27 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - I’m late to the party thanks to aFriday stomach bug, but I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! This is beautiful and so, so very true. I, too, get caught up in all the things I have to do. I am always thinking about what comes next and I forget to appreciate right now. It is so hard to let go of all that “other stuff” but when I do I think “Why to I obsess?? I need to just enjoy!” This is perfectly stated and awesome!October 20, 2013 – 3:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - You’re a poet. Seriously, this is awesome. Love it. I need to slow down and enjoy the moments too. I need to let some of the crap I’m committed to or feel like I’m committed to just go.October 21, 2013 – 9:20 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - All that we have to be is good enough…and it’s so hard to accept that when there is so much to do. Simply being here, is a beautiful thing. Grounding yourself is hard but we need to work at doing that. Life is so much sweeter when you’re standing still.
    This is gorgeous my friend. One of your bests.October 21, 2013 – 1:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - This is so perfect, and perfectly describes how I’ve been feeling lately! I’ve been all over the place with too much stuff. Being in the moment is definitely the way to be. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂October 21, 2013 – 1:35 pmReplyCancel

  • christine - This is wonderful, Kristi. Being present, in the moment, really is the best part of the day. It’s something I’ve been working hard on lately. There’s always so much to do, but I need to pay attention to the now that I’m already doing.

    Fantastic way to finish the sentence. I didn’t join in today, because I couldn’t name one particular time during the day I like the most. You nailed it!October 22, 2013 – 12:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - Oh, my. You have a way of bringing me to my knees, don’t you Miss Kristi?

    I really hope that you’ll link this with October’s Perfect Moment Monday on the 28th. For one reason, you epitomize the mindfulness that Perfect Moment Monday is meant to encourage, and for another, I want my readers to read your exquisite post.

    XOXOOctober 22, 2013 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristina Grum - I LOVE this post! I talk about being in the moment a lot in the parenting classes I teach and we talk about the struggle of how hard it is to do. When it finally happens, the joy always takes us by surprise.October 22, 2013 – 10:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Loved this post! If concentrate on making all the little NOW moments the best they can possibly be, it soon adds up to an amazing life. Love your writing style!!October 23, 2013 – 10:56 amReplyCancel

  • Bismah - Such a lovely post! We all go through these moments. Thank you for sharing this!
    Stopping over from the “Showing Some Love Hump Day” hop. Now following you on Bloglovin and Facebook.
    Have a great day 🙂
    Bismah @
    http://simplemamaathome.blogspot.com/October 24, 2013 – 10:15 amReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Thanks for linking up with The Sunday Parenting Party! Come back on Sunday to see if you were featured!October 26, 2013 – 4:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Hazel Lee - I loved your post. I have a tendency to always be thinking about what’s next, looking into the future, moving on to the next thing, and it’s harder for me to be just in the present. It’s great to be reminded of how important the present is, being here now. Thanks for sharing!October 29, 2013 – 12:17 amReplyCancel

  • sarah @ Thank You Honey - so sweet! Thank for sharing at Whatever Wednesday on Thank You Honey’s! Hope to see you again this week!October 29, 2013 – 8:59 amReplyCancel

  • Momo - This is such a beautiful post. Full of so much that resonates with me in my own life. I loved this line in particular, “I miss them while they’re still warm on my skin.” So evocative.October 30, 2013 – 12:58 amReplyCancel

  • Manal The Go Go Girl - Your writing is so beautiful! Your life is so busy and you deserve an award for being so compassionate. It should all be about you and your family and everything else can wait. Love your picture with Tucker!February 2, 2014 – 1:34 amReplyCancel

  • Mike - Yet another post that chimed such a huge common note with me. I have so many amazing moments that occur to me yet they frequently pass me by. Because, I’m not in the moment. I’m worried about a previous moment or anxious about a future moment. I spend so much wonderful time with Phoenix. He’s MY Tucker. Yet, even as we walked today before work I got choked up inside that I can’t fathom being able to handle “that day”. There is one special occasion that I’m able to capture though. Friday night when I get home from work. I’m always in the moment for several hours. I so wish I could allow every day/night to be like that. Ok, I’ll get off the Kristi Kouch now and thank you for listening. Feel free to bill me. AWESOME post, my dear!! 🙂February 7, 2014 – 8:02 pmReplyCancel

Do you all remember my good friend Kenya from  Here’s the Thing? When you visit her today, you may not recognize her site from the last time she authored her most excellent Our Land post as she is less lazy (more design-oriented? Adventurous? Something!) than I am and recently did a(nother) blog redesign. I bet […]

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by Kristi Campbell

Whatcha think, peeps?
email a friend

  • Emily - I love Uncle D! I think every kid should have an Uncle D in their lives…beautiful story.October 16, 2013 – 9:25 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - I am so with Emily on this and think that every kid should indeed have an Uncle D in their lives. Honestly, so wonderful and loved how even when Christopher thought Uncle D wouldn’t be proud of him, he proved to him that he was and gave him the encouragement he needed in that very moment! 🙂October 16, 2013 – 9:32 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    I agree that every kid should have an Uncle D. I wish I had an Uncle D! Today, he’d be saying “it’s okay that you’re tired! You’ll do fine! Go to work!”October 16, 2013 – 9:51 amReplyCancel

  • Uncle D - I’m so blessed that you let me in Christopher’s world and I’m so emotional right now. And you KNOW I’m not a very emotional guy! I consider Chris my child and what’s so strang is that Chris’s father is my mentor, crazy how that works!October 16, 2013 – 10:25 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Thank you for the super sweet intro! So glad it’s not like a real home where I have to hurry and dust the furniture before people come over.October 16, 2013 – 10:45 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Uncle D,
    How cool that you’re here! Your words are inspiring and I think it’s awesome that Christopher’s dad is your mentor, and that you are Christopher’s. There’s something perfect about that.
    —
    Kenya,
    You’re welcome! Thanks so much for letting me share your words on Our Land! And yeah, that no dusting thing comes in pretty handy.
    —October 16, 2013 – 11:09 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Thank GOODNESS for Uncle D. What a rockstar 🙂 I’m so very glad that Christopher has him in his life. And wish that every child had him, or someone as thoughtful and caring as he is, in theirs.October 16, 2013 – 12:41 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Hall - Kenya, I love this! Don’t know if you saw, but Kristin at Two Cannoli wrote yesterday about how words can hurt, and stay with us for so long. This is the other side of that!October 16, 2013 – 1:04 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Jennifer – Thank you for telling me about that Kristin’s post. I just read it!

    Lizzi – I also wish every child had an Uncle D

    Uncle D – Love it that you left a comment! I got goosebumps 😉

    Janine – that day/moment still makes my heart smile when I remember the look on Christopher’s face

    Emily – Thank you! I agree.October 16, 2013 – 1:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I love that this story has three stars: 1) your amazing son for being so brave and trying new things 2) your brother for being that voice of encouragement that your son hadn’t internalized yet and 3) you for watching and caring and sharing the story with us. Oh and there’s a fourth: wonderful photos! I can’t decide which one I like the best! Oh, and five: that I had such a great time reading a story with both a lesson and a happy ending.October 16, 2013 – 2:56 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Thank you Rachel. Uncle D is a family friend but I like the “brother” reference. That’s cool too. I think the zip lining one is my favorite because two years ago I definitely didn’t see that coming! 😉October 16, 2013 – 3:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - I hope that for every jerk like the one you heard cursing at his son, there are ten Uncle Ds to raise a child up instead of bring him down. Your son is blessed to have great role models in his life, Kenya.October 16, 2013 – 3:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Kita - So cool to see this he is a brave soul with that zip line I could never. I love my uncle and to have a good one in your life is a blessing.October 16, 2013 – 4:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Uncle D. is so right! The first story about the conversation you overheard is so nauseating. I don’t know if I could deal with that, but I know it’s out there.

    What a great team-up here! I read both of your blogs. This is like great one stop shopping.October 16, 2013 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • Uncle D - Kristi, thank you and I also think it’s cool that I’m on here! Often times, you never know how people feel about you until it’s at your eulogy!October 16, 2013 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerith Stull - Oh my goodness. Seriously have tears in my eyes after reading that! Yay Christopher and Uncle D!October 16, 2013 – 5:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - Christopher is positively beaming in that picture with Uncle D. I love this story of positive reinforcement. It doesn’t take a million dollars or strenuous effort to be encouraging and supportive to a child.October 16, 2013 – 9:17 pmReplyCancel

  • Mama C. - Man, this was an empowering post. At first,I had my dukes up and wanted to punch that evil father in the throat…but then the post took a 180 and made me feel so good. God bless, Uncle D. (Sidebar: It reminded me of my favorite uncle, my mother’s brother, who is named, Devon, aka Uncle D.)

    Yes, every kid needs an Uncle D!

    Thanks for sharing.October 16, 2013 – 9:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ Golden Spoons - Love this!! As someone who played lots of sports growing up, I have heard lots of words that were encouraging and some that were far from it. Just last night, my daughter had a soccer game. The coach’s son was on the team and the coach was especially hard on him. I could see the kid’s body language change. I could see how disappointed he was in himself because of his father’s words. It really broke my heart. What a difference it would have made if the coach/father had chosen his words a bit more thoughtfully!October 16, 2013 – 10:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Yes! Words can be so hurtful or so uplifting. We need to always remember to be the latter. Loved this, Kenya and Kristi! 🙂October 17, 2013 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Dana – Thank you. I am so glad that my son has wonderful role models too.

    Kita – I was shocked by him participating in the zip lining. Since he did it, that mean I had to be brave and do it too.

    Tamara – overhearing that conversation did make me emotional, angry and sick feeling all at the same time.

    Kerith – I know – YAY to Uncle D!October 17, 2013 – 5:58 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Jean – I love that picture. It’s looks like he is absorbing all of his words. I also love the picture of him jumping in the lake because you can see Uncle D’s shadow.

    Mama C. – I was ready to put my dukes up too. Still SMH at the memory of it.

    Lisa – It does hurt to see a child change their body language in reaction. To me that means whatever was said penetrated to their core.

    Jessica – I agree. Encouraging words and a smile!October 17, 2013 – 6:06 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Considerer,
    Agree! Every child should have an Uncle D. Somebody to encourage him when he needs it. Somebody to remind him that he’s brave. That he can do it – whatever the it is…
    —
    Jennifer,
    Thanks so much for the intro to Kristin Two Cannolli! Loved that piece!
    —
    Rachel,
    I really enjoyed reading this, too. It’s nice to have something to turn to with a happy ending, support, empathy, and love.
    —
    Dana,
    Yes, there totally should be 10 Uncle D’s to every one of the jerks who yells, and makes people feel badly.
    —
    Kita,
    I think I’d be too scared to try the zip line, too. Although who knows!
    —
    Tamara,
    So glad we could get together on Our Land! And the first guy makes me totally sick, too.
    —
    Uncle D,
    So true. It’s good to know how loved and appreciated we are before having to hear those words at our own eulogy. Great point!
    —
    Kerith,
    Yes. Yay to Uncle D and to Christopher and to Kenya for sharing this uplifting, wonderful story!
    —
    Jean,
    So true. Kind words go much further than we sometimes remember.
    —
    Mama C,
    LOVE that you have your own Uncle D! And yeah, I wanted to punch the first guy, too.
    —
    Lisa,
    That breaks my heart. Seeing a child’s body language change due to an unkind act is something none of us should ever have to witness. I’m sorry you recently saw that. More sorry for the poor kid who felt less than due to his own father’s unkind words.
    —
    Jessica,
    We do need to remember!
    —
    Kenya,
    You rock. 🙂October 17, 2013 – 7:46 amReplyCancel

  • Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha - I love how you told the story in reverse order. And I SO COMPLETELY AGREE about teaching our kids to be brave, and step into the arena. So glad your son has amazing adults to teach him great lessons. And oh so sad about the parent in the first example.October 17, 2013 – 8:30 amReplyCancel

  • K - Beautifully written post with an incredible message…words are so powerful!October 17, 2013 – 9:24 amReplyCancel

  • Rosey - Showcasing Kenya is ALWAYS a good idea, the girl can WRITE! 🙂

    I feel like I’m in her kitchen drinking coffee too when I read what she’s writing.

    This is a great post, and how wonderful to have such a supportive Uncle. Words mean everything, and I am oh so careful to use only the positive ones here too!! Our kids (all kids) are worth it.

    P.S. to Kenya: I’d be standing in line with you to help tackle that dad. That stuff makes me irate too.October 17, 2013 – 11:13 amReplyCancel

  • Alison Hector - I’m all about encouragement, Kenya!How marvelous that Uncle D was an encourager for Christopher and spoke positive words of affirmation to him.October 17, 2013 – 4:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. - Oh, Kenya, that was such a beautiful post and such wise advice for parents. That opening story made me feel sick, and I know that happens all the time. Uncle D sounds like quite a guy. I always love to see you over here at Our Land! Cheers!October 17, 2013 – 4:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Joi - That whole sticks and stones may…but words will never hurt me is a a load of crap. Words are POWERFUL. Uncle D proved inspiring but the other young fella will live with those terms embedded in him. Very sad! Praises for Uncle Ds and good role models!

    OAN – I didn’t get blessed out on a regular but no zip lining for me Kenya 🙂October 18, 2013 – 12:28 amReplyCancel

  • Out One Ear - Linda Atwell - Yes! Loved: May good words come back to bless you. I so believe in this and often encouraged my kids in this way. Words are so powerful. They have the ability to help kids become the best little (and big) human beings they can be.

    It so bothers me to hear parents (adults) swear at kids. I’ll see their little shoulders sag, their heads drop. If I believed in physical punishment, I’d go and slap the parent. Children want their parents to be proud of them. My son told me so. I know so because I wanted that from my parents. It only takes a few kind words to change a child’s life. Bravo Uncle D.October 18, 2013 – 12:54 amReplyCancel

  • Kenya G. Johnson - Sarah – Thank you, I actually hadn’t realized the “reverse-ness” until you pointed it out. Cool.

    K – Thank you!

    Rosey – awww shucks. Thank you for the super compliment!

    Alison – “words of affirmation” – yes!

    Stephanie – It makes me sick too. Every time I see that dad, I’ll always remember that moment. It was a moment between them that I was invisibly a part of. 🙁

    Joi – that is a load of crap isn’t it. That’s certainly a phrase I would never teach.

    Linda – I can’t imagine what it would be like to be on the receiving end of words like that from a parent.October 18, 2013 – 7:28 amReplyCancel

Years ago, back when I still prided myself on having good taste, I said that I’d never listen to crappy country music. Now that I have a husband who grew up in Tennessee and a four-year old boy with occasionally questionable taste in general, I’ve chilled out a little bit. Which means that I no […]

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by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - Well I didn’t click on the ear bleeding one. I have enough of those in my head that come and go as they please. Love that your bought the tractor song and I actually like the second one. Not to country-nee at all.October 15, 2013 – 2:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kenya,
    I think that’s why I like it, too. Not too country-nee! Well said!October 15, 2013 – 2:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - I used to hate country until Garth Brooks, as well. He is pretty awesome. I’m not a big fan of anything by Luke Bryan, and I agree that Rain song is pretty much crap. Jason Aldean is always good (some of his stuff really rocks), even though that’s not one of my favorite songs by him. Lady A is always good, too. Nice list. 🙂 PS: I love Estes Park!October 15, 2013 – 2:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Jessica,
    See? Garth is totally a gateway artist! He’s way awesome! Estes Park is paradise!October 15, 2013 – 2:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings - Haha, this is why I always say “I like country but”. That Rain is a Good Thing song is probably the stupidest song ever. However, some country I absolutely love. So there’s a lot of push-pull there for me.
    And I laughed when reading that Garth Brooks is the gateway drug. It’s so true….October 15, 2013 – 2:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Quick Stepp- Melissa - I went country too. It’s shameful, really.
    I still refuse to listen to new country. My boyfriend and I did long-distance for a while with him in Birmingham. It was everywhere. Ugh, gross.October 15, 2013 – 2:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I actually listened to Metallica today. “Nothing Else Matters.” And it totally cheered me up from my Monday, even though it’s not Monday funk.
    I’m guilty of saying that country music couldn’t make it into my playlist if my life depended on it. I did hear a song recently that I kinda liked, though! It was by Blake Shelton and it was a sad love song. And it was great!!!
    Something like, “Mine Would Be You.”October 15, 2013 – 2:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - And this is why I love you, because I said this on more then a few of these posts today that country was never for me and never thought I could like anything if it were of this genre, but I too have softened over the years and listen a bit, but still would pick Metallica any day of the week, too!! 🙂October 15, 2013 – 2:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Natalie,
    Garth is totally the gateway! I know what you mean about the push-pull. It’s funny that you say “I like country but” because I say the almost-same thing but phrase it like “I hate country but.” Ha.
    —
    Melissa,
    Country is a little shameful anyway.
    —
    Tamara,
    I don’t know that song! I’ll have to look it up because you have such awesome taste!
    —October 15, 2013 – 2:39 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Janine,
    WHOOT TO Metallica! They’re so much better than country!
    —October 15, 2013 – 2:40 pmReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Come on you know that Tequila Makes Your Clothes Come Off I am sure that song was made for you and New Orleans 🙂

    October 15, 2013 – 2:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Lance - I like you a lot. I like your blog a lot. So, I’m just going to say, have a great day, you.

    *grumble grumble modern country music blows grumble grumble*October 15, 2013 – 2:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kerri,
    Actually, I’d NEVER heard that song! I’m laughing!!! It’s actually catchier than the rain one though so perhaps that’s why it’s less repulsive. 🙂October 15, 2013 – 2:54 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lance,
    HA! I know. I like you too. Sorry that you lost all respect for me in a single post. And maybe even threw up a little bit.October 15, 2013 – 2:55 pmReplyCancel

  • Dream - Loved the post, but you listed the one song that is absolutely guaranteed to make me go postal. See, the husband and son’s hobby is restoring antique tractors, particularly John Deeres. They went nuts over this song and for four years now, its been their ring tones. Its to the point of nails on chalkboard for me.October 15, 2013 – 3:00 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Dream,
      UGH I’m sorry! I’d probably hate it a lot more if I’d heard it on ring tones for years too!October 15, 2013 – 3:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I’m with you on lady antebellum.also, I became a huge Bon jovi fan in my 40s…never liked him when I was younger, but I think his music reminds me of my younger,simpler self. But still, I’m pretty much a music flunkie. My husband likes to quiz me on songs when they come on the radio by asking who the artist is and I rarely get it right.October 15, 2013 – 3:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - My daughter has suddenly fallen in love with country music, and I’m not a fan. Especially when I have to listen to the same song being played on repeat 10 times while she takes a 30 minute shower. Talk about ear bleeds…October 15, 2013 – 3:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Shell - I love country music but when my seven year old started singing that rain is a good thing song while we were watching his brother’s soccer game this weekend, it wasn’t such a good thing.October 15, 2013 – 4:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Emily,
    Love Lady Antebellum! That’s funny about your husband quizzing you on the music that comes on. I used to be much more knowledgable (and cool) (and better looking) (and smarter) than I am now.
    —
    Dana,
    Ugh. Sorry to hear about the earbleeds.
    —
    Shell,
    HAHA that’s hilarious actually!October 15, 2013 – 5:00 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - I tease Joe that if we get married Big Green Tractor will be our song since we slow danced to it at an Aldean concert once 🙂October 15, 2013 – 5:09 pmReplyCancel

  • JenKehl - I don’t care how crappy you think your post is you always crack me up! The problem is you have no idea how funny you are. Just when you’re being regular. And I have to agree that Isaiah is why I listen to country at all right now too, it’s definitely growing on me. Play Convoy by Commander Cody for Tucker. See what he thinks.
    MWAH!October 15, 2013 – 5:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Kate,
    AWWW! 🙂 That’s really cute. And a little worrisome.
    —
    Jen,
    You’re so nice. Thanks huge. And I’ll have to check out Convoy! Never heard of it! MWAH back at ya.October 15, 2013 – 6:32 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - don’t! you will be hearing, “Breaker…Breaker, thats a big …(whatever)” for years to come. lol

    I agree with your sentiments (well, duh!). funny how I don’t mind stupid songs, but I can’t tolerate dumb songs!
    but then, and I suspect there is a hint of this in your Post, some songs get linked to something (else) which gives it a standing in one’s life that can not be accounted for in any other way.
    The first two songs on my list are perfect examples of that… I do not enjoy the low-technique, un-sophisticated sounding sound (lol) of the song, but as a whole they got hooked into an emotional event…bam! I enjoy the song.

    (frickin life! it just doesn’t quit, does it?!)October 15, 2013 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Considerer - Certainly it tends not to be my favourite. Though there are limited pieces I do like 🙂 Glad that Tucker loves those tunes so much though 😀October 15, 2013 – 8:25 pmReplyCancel

  • thedoseofreality - I grew up in Texas, so country music has a special place in my heart. I LOVE all the songs you shared here! 🙂 Great list! And don’t event get me started on Garth Brooks and The Dance.-AshleyOctober 15, 2013 – 8:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - Well…I picked Garth’s wife, so there’s solidarity in that, right? Keepin’ it in the family. 😉 “Whiskey makes my girlfriend a little frisky…” hahahaOctober 15, 2013 – 9:32 pmReplyCancel

  • Louise - I’m finding it amusing how country music is like the “dirty little secret” love of nearly everyone who does this blog hop.

    Never a favourite of mine, by this stage of life I’ve come around to it – Garth Brooks, Toby Keith – and, well, I’ve developed a love for the show Nashville – which I suspect is actually Nashville’s gateway drug to win you over to their market. So far, so kinda working.October 15, 2013 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Katia - Oh, Whiskey and frisky always rhyme in country. Remember Carrie Underwood’s Right Now? This is going to sound so American Idol, but I love how every subject you address becomes yours. You made this your own and Tucker’s and your husband’s and I’m always curious to find out which way you’ll do it this time and it’s always original, yet always yours. <3 <3 <3October 15, 2013 – 10:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Sarah Almond - My husband really turned me on to country music. Now before all of you anti country peeps get all hatin on me, there is a lot of really BAD country. There’s also a lot of really good country. Like you said Lady Antebellum is one of the really good ones. They aren’t really what I’d consider straight country, more of a crossover. Most of the country that I really like is much more like rock!

    And I too HATE that rain is a good thing song, but I do like Luke Bryan. THink that one gets stuck in your head? Try “All My Friends Say”… LOL.

    I still prefer the harder rock songs over country, but I have this weird affliction called “I like Carrie Underwood” and will put my ipod on the playlist with all her songs and just leave it there…October 16, 2013 – 1:51 amReplyCancel

  • Slu - Love It!!! And “Whiskey makes my girlfriend feel a little frisky.” lol What I am talking about… Ha!!

    So enjoyed, as usual, SluOctober 16, 2013 – 6:27 amReplyCancel

  • Joy @ i can say mama - I love “Need You Now” and I am no country girl at all!October 16, 2013 – 8:46 amReplyCancel

  • Jean - I never got country but I somehow fell in love with a lot of bluegrass. I mean, honestly.October 16, 2013 – 9:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - I hope you don’t disown me as a friend for admitting this, but in one week (about 10 years ago) I went to 3 concerts; Pearl Jam, Fleetwood Mac & Yanni. Can I admit this? Yanni was seriously the most entertaining of the three. Pearl Jam was the worst. Maybe it was just a bad night for him, but Eddie Vedder was a total droll. Yanni on the other hand, if I ignored him and his hair flips and just watched his kick-ass musicians was pretty incredible. Stevie Nicks and her spinning in her full skirts was pretty cool too.

    To be clear, I own no Yanni singles or albmus, but plenty of Pearl Jam, so it really came down to who was best a performing.October 16, 2013 – 11:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Ilene - OK – Given that I’m someone who has prided myself in having “great taste in music” and vowed to NEVER listen to crappy country music, or ANY country music for that matter, this made me laugh. And if I ever decide to give country music a try, I will remember to start with Garth Brooks…October 17, 2013 – 7:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Nope. Not conforming to country. I can’t. Won’t. Never.October 21, 2013 – 1:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Mike - I love “Need You Now” and whiskey too for that matter. But, I don’t keep the latter in the house because it’s my crazy juice. Remember Kim Basinger in the movie “Blind Date”? Me and whiskey. Country is all my dad would listen to besides Simon and Garfunkel. Oh my gawd those week long road trips and the 8 track player. I got to pick so I always went with S & G. Yet, in 1984…huh, there is that year again…anyhoo, I went to an Alabama concert. INCREDIBLE!! We are on the same page that for me Garth Brooks really brought country music to the forefront again. Taylor Swift’s “Mean”…I can play that allllll day. But, I’m still a classic rock guy for the most part. Fun to read, Kristi! 🙂February 9, 2014 – 3:56 pmReplyCancel

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