Todayโs Our Land Series piece was written by a dear blog friend who probably “gets” much of what I feel when it comes to searching for a diagnosis than some of my other blog friends do (not all because there are actually quite a few of us, Joy, being one). ย I think Kerri and I […]
by Kristi Campbell
Janine Huldie - Perfect letter Kerri and even though my kids don’t have any real learning disabilities at this point, I have gotten looks when I am out with both my kids and they are being a bit rowdy. So, I do know those looks all too well and to be honest, I think others need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, before they can judge. Wonderful what you have written and I know from following your blog just how much you have worked with Boo and how far she has come, because of you simply being her mom and her advocate. Bravo and kudos to you!! ๐May 8, 2013 – 8:04 am
Kristi - Aw, Janine, awesome comment. I’m sure Kerri will appreciate it as do I. I think you’re so right that all parents get The Look, regardless of our kid’s abilities. Thanks for sharing!May 8, 2013 – 8:25 am
Kenya G. Johnson - I love the awareness of the Our Land series. When my son was 5 months old, I was “that lady” with the crying baby for the entire flight. I felt so bad and angry for the looks I got, when I got off the airplane I handed off my son to my husband and I went in the bathroom and cried myself. There wasn’t anything I could do to comfort him. It taught me to never be the one to look, and appear irritated at another mom in the same situation. Thanks for sharing Kristi and Kerri.May 8, 2013 – 8:31 am
Kristi - Oh, Kenya,
Although I’m so sorry that you had to experience that awful flight, part of me wishes every parent experienced something like that. Maybe it’d make us all nicer to one another.May 8, 2013 – 8:35 am
Anita @ Losing Austin - This series makes me happy on so many levels. And today’s guest is so good as sharing and educating, while still understanding that people often have good hearts but not good understanding.
My kids are typical, but my husband has an unseen disability- and it’s unfathomable to people what he goes through and the battles we face, because when he’s around them he usually seems fine. But then hides away when he’s not, and always deals with emotional challenges and sometimes his coping with that isn’t understood.
Thanks for sharing your heart and story.May 8, 2013 – 10:07 am
Kristi - Anita,
So glad to hear that this series makes you happy! Sending strength to you and your husband and hopes for better understanding to those around you.
Hugs!May 8, 2013 – 10:32 am
The Sadder But Wiser Girl - Oh Kerri this is great! I used to be a one on one for a little girl that had many issues, but no diagnosis other than PPD. From just looking at this beautiful little girl, people would not know what her parents went through every day. Her Mom is one of the most wonderful people in the world, and this is something that she has to deal with on a daily basis. Unfortunately, people who don’t know better will judge her parenting. Much like you, her love for her daughter shines brightly through all of the therapy appointments, public outings cut short, harried grocery trips, missed adult time, and so forth. It’s worth it. Thank you for sharing. Now I need to get caught up on the rest of the series!May 8, 2013 – 11:37 am
Kristi - Thanks for commenting, Sadder Sarah! You’re so right that others have no idea what some parents go through with therapies, appointments, seeking answers from doctors that never come…
Maybe more people will think before judging after reaching Kerri’s powerful post. And you totally should read the rest of the series – it’s awesome. ๐May 8, 2013 – 11:47 am
Dawn Beronilla - AWESOME letter!
I am loving the stuffing right out of this series. These posts are so important.May 8, 2013 – 11:59 am
Jessica - Absolutely. I had all kinds of ideas about how I was going to raise my son “better” than other people do, without realizing what the parent was going through. Yeah, I have given up on that idea, and I have a lot more empathy for other parents now. It’s a lot of work, and even more so in Kerri’s case. PS: I wish my son had an indoor voice, too!May 8, 2013 – 12:31 pm
Dana - I think everyone should have a copy of this letter in their pocket, to hand to the next eye-rolling, sighing, annoyed person they run into. No good comes from parents judging one another. Great post Kerri and great series Kristi!May 8, 2013 – 1:15 pm
K - What an awesome post! ๐ I wish that everyone would sit down and read this letter…the world needs to hear this message!! This is so perfectly written; thank you.May 8, 2013 – 1:19 pm
MJM - Awesome story Kerri…thanks for sharing. Kristi…I freaking love this series…keep it going girl(s).May 8, 2013 – 3:53 pm
Emily - Awesome guest post! I’ve so been there with my son, who not only had hidden challenges, but who was VERY tall for his age, so people always expected so much more of him because they thought he was older than he was. Fantastic letter.May 8, 2013 – 4:29 pm
Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - Kerri, this is great. I loved that letter. One of my clients was commenting on how excited they were that their daughter finally learned to throw, but now she throws everything all the time. When their OT first started working with their daughter, she asked, “How do you feel about her throwing things?” implying that it was a behavior that needed to be corrected. The parents were like, “We feel GREAT about her throwing things!” because they were so excited that she could!
Your point about BA-OON! is a great one- sometimes there is another side. Sometimes the “problem behavior” isn’t what it seems, but is rather a developmental milestone to be celebrated.
And we are all doing our best. It sucks to be judged.May 8, 2013 – 5:32 pm
Jessica Melville - this is great!May 8, 2013 – 6:03 pm
Michele - I’ll never understand why people judge without knowing all the facts. I loved this!May 8, 2013 – 6:06 pm
Kerri - Thank you, everyone for your kind words!May 8, 2013 – 7:16 pm
Rachel Demas - I heart Kerri and Boo! Loving your child is so much more important than worrying about those dirty looks. Although, it would also be great if other people could put love first too.May 8, 2013 – 7:37 pm
Kristi - Dawn, Jessica, Dana, K, MJ, Emily, Stephanie, Michele,
Thank you. And all of you – so right. Here’s to all of us having more empathy for parents in EVERY situation. It’s all hard, friends. It’s all beautiful. It’s all wonderful. Let’s embrace and accept. Not judge.
And Kerri, thanks for the contribution. It is perfect.May 8, 2013 – 9:30 pm
Melissa@Home on Deranged - The hard truth is that we all have the “judge” inside our heads, regardless of our situations, good or bad, easy or difficult. I don’t understand why you don’t understand me. Even in the “normal” stuff, like when you see me pushing a stroller and dragging a 2yo and yet you refuse to yield any room for us. Or even open a door to help us get through easier. sigh…Hurry up and bring on this land of empathy and wonder! ๐May 8, 2013 – 11:29 pm
Sydny Tibbetts Shaw - Amazing Kerry!! (and Boo)May 9, 2013 – 12:59 am
Julie Heyer - Wonderful! Thanks for sharing and I am very lucky to call you my friend!
You are AMAZING! I <3 Boo too!May 9, 2013 – 1:29 am
TheSocialButterflyMom - Ahhh, the judging! I have so many apologies to make to parents when I was my pre-baby self ;pMay 9, 2013 – 6:47 am
Kristi - Melissa,
That’s so true – busy parents of typical kids get judged too. The whole world should open the doors for tired mommies!May 9, 2013 – 7:26 am
Kristi - Social Butterfly,
Hah to apologies to parents from your pre-baby self! ๐May 9, 2013 – 7:26 am
Jen - I talk about this all of the time. Once I was the woman who judged other moms when it seemed they couldn’t control their kids. Then I had mine. A child with sensory issues looks completely typical. But he sure doesn’t act that way. It’s a great letter, I hope the right people read it!May 9, 2013 – 11:25 am
Maggie Amada - Wonderful post. People will judge no matter what you do or don’t do. Don’t let it bother you. I laughed when I read this because, unlike you, I have absolutely no excuse to hold up the supermarket line while my husband and I decide whether to let my daughter have an over-priced balloon as one of her two free-choice items for the week. I did it anyway, so woo-hoo to you and Boo.May 10, 2013 – 4:45 pm
Joy - I just love this post! <3May 14, 2013 – 11:36 am
Kristi - Joy,
Me, too. And I look forward to yours!May 14, 2013 – 7:15 pm
Sherry Ames Nault - Great letter Kerri Ames, you hit the nail on the head, Paul was thrilled boo was talking to him and playing peek a boo at the resturant. see you in 1 week….. love ya boo Aunt Sherry.May 15, 2013 – 1:26 am
Kerri Ames - Thanks, Jess!May 8, 2013 – 11:08 pm
Kerri Ames - Thanks, Rachel for stopping by. You are so right why worry about the dirty looks? May 8, 2013 – 11:09 pm
Betsy Nye Nordman - I love this and think everyone should read it!!!!May 9, 2013 – 1:46 am
Finding Ninee - I heart Kerri and Boo, too ๐May 9, 2013 – 12:07 pm
Kerri Ames - Aw…thanks @[1626691660:2048:Sherry]!May 15, 2013 – 1:32 am
Kerri Ames - Thanks @[100000784844342:2048:Julie Heyer]!May 15, 2013 – 2:08 am
Kerri Ames - Thanks, @[729287044:2048:Sydny Tibbetts Shaw] and Betsy! Boo loves you too ๐May 15, 2013 – 2:08 am