Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Vivid Moments, Dreams, And The Stress Between

While I don’t remember the year, I remember waking up ecstatic. In my dream, I could hear my son speak. I turned to my husband to say “He can talk!” before realizing the sun hadn’t yet risen, and neither had my son’s voice. His words were so clear, though. Now that he speaks, I wonder whether it was his actual voice I heard, if only in my heart. A vivid memory. Cherished more perhaps because I now have the luxury of occasional annoyance when he says “No offense, Mom, but I’m bored.”

Vividly Scared

Before becoming a parent, I’d been warned of sleepless nights, spit-up in my hair, clothing, and on my furniture. My own snoring woke me at 3:00 a.m., to find my infant son sleeping in my lap, my milk-laden breast hanging heavily above his tiny face. I expected those things.

What I didn’t expect was picturing my perfect baby’s tiny head going “SPLAT!” on our hardwood floors. Bright red and broken, like a dropped watermelon. It was only in my head, but I was terrified of it happening. My husband tripped down the last few stairs carrying laundry, and left a huge hole in the drywall. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “At least you weren’t carrying the baby,” I replied. Because that’s what it was all about. The baby.

Now that he’s nine-years-old, I no longer picture each fall being life-threatening, but I do picture all of the terrible things parents need to worry about these days, because parents are afraid, and it’s bullshit.

Vivid Beauty

Today was a good day. I was chosen as a chaperone for a field trip to the Colorado Capitol in Denver. Each time there’s an opportunity, I volunteer. In Virginia, pretty much each parent willing to endure uncomfortable and bouncy school bus seats (while too many excited children are sing-screaming) were allowed to tag along. Since we moved to Colorado though, only two parents are allowed on each outing, which means today was a treat.

I realize my coolness factors are dwindling, and that soon, Tucker will likely be (slightly) less enthused about holding my hand in front of his peers. I hang onto these moments, with all that I am, and with all that Tucker will become. I’ll remember, for both of us, if he forgets.

It was a good day. Color-filled photos of sunshine, views, and happiness at seeing that our current “president” isn’t yet on the wall (only guessing here, but he probably refused realistic portraits of himself the same way he refuses facts, equality, and decency to humans).

Vivid Annoyance

It was a good day, in spite of kids’ sing-screaming and me needing a massage after traveling on the school bus. Busy, but good. We came home, Tucker had swimming. No problem, plenty of time to write my Finish the Sentence Friday post.

Robert got home just in time to take him to Cub Scouts. “An hour of alone time! Perfect to write my post tonight!” and then, my boss sent me a 35-page proposal that he wants to print in the morning. East coast time. Morning here equals two hours earlier than morning there.

And yet, through the annoyance, I can’t help but feel gratitude. I’m trusted for my opinion. Even paid to provide it.

Vivid Life

I guess our most vivid dreams, memories, and annoyances are each bucket-filling. When I first saw this prompt, I pictured a graveyard, but a peaceful one. Maybe my too-short-in-time reflections on “Vivid” are because one day, hopefully far, far in the future, I hope to picture my not-so-little little boy holding my hand on a vividly sunny day, in front of his peers. I hope I’ll remember feeling value through work, and a too-busy day. Writing at the last minute for Finish the Sentence Friday, thinking “Well, this is a worthless reaction to a self-imposed time limit,” and then thinking “You’re writing, and each of our moments matter.”

***

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. Today’s photo-prompt “vivid” was brought to you by the amazing Mardra Sikora. She provided this beautiful photo and we hope you’ll join in.

Image may contain: plant, tree, grass, outdoor and nature

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

  • Rebecca Vaughn - Oh Kristi, I love how reflective you are about what really matters when you’re a parent – being present in those vivid moments and soaking them in as much as possible.April 25, 2019 – 8:39 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Rebecca! It can be hard to be present but when I am, I feel so much better about everything!April 26, 2019 – 6:02 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Oh I miss those hand-holding days! My youngest dude still gives me great, long hugs (and I hope always will!), but the hand-holding with any of my dudes is no more. 🙁April 26, 2019 – 6:35 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Great, long hugs are amazing and I fear the hand holding days are pretty limited. 🙁April 26, 2019 – 6:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - Oh my gosh do I love that ending. Self-imposed time limits, but we stick to them!!
    Yes, each of our moments matter. And yes, we’re writing.April 26, 2019 – 6:45 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Tamara. Yes, writing. That counts for a lot, I think, even rushed between working and life.April 26, 2019 – 6:03 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi - My girls (13 and NEARLY 17 OMG) still hold hands with me in public, and they have a couple of guy friends who will do the same with their moms. You never know!April 26, 2019 – 9:38 amReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Ah, I just love that you got picked to go on the field trip and gurrrrrrl, I have since crossed over to the no-touching in public zone with Cade, and it’s so hard. BUT I bet Tucker will be your snuggle bug like Cade is when he gets older. There’s always room for that in the protected walls of our homes. <3

    Also- Cade still says he loves me in front of anyone at any time and feels NO SHAME in that. I'll take it! I bet your sweet boy will do the same.May 8, 2019 – 8:04 amReplyCancel

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*

N e v e r   m i s s   a   n e w   p o s t !