Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

Life’s Turning Points

Have you ever thought about life’s turning points? About how different your life might be had you taken a different route, a different job, chosen a different country to live in?  Would your child be the same person had you had him earlier?  Married somebody else?  Grew up with a different family?  Would you be the same?  Would you be you?

There are moments in our lives when things change.  Sometimes it’s the seemingly small things.  Sometimes, it’s the big ones.  Turning points.  Choices.  They change who we are.

Following are some snapshots of the moments that have defined who I am now.  The ones that I feel made me me.

Life’s Turning Points

537 moons ago, a miraculous woman loved me enough to keep me, carry me in her body and grant me life.  She sang to me.  She loved me.  She gave birth to me.  And then she gave me away.

My parents.  The ones who brought me into their home and into their hearts.  They named me, made me theirs and I was.  I am.

I became one of three.  Brothers.  Playmates and fights and jealously and unmatched camaraderie. Siblings.

Unreciprocated teenage love.   Friendship.  Learning who I was.

The choice to go out of state for college.  I ditched the nest for greener grass and more easily obtained beer.  I found friends that have the ability to see me through moments of darkness and moments of levity.  Friends with whom I have shared minutes and hours so powerful and unique that there is not a word that exists to describe them.

Not marrying the bad boy that I loved too much.

Falling in love and getting married.  Pregnant.  Then, not pregnant.  Then, no longer us either.

New roads.  New turns.

Fulfillment through a career.  Moving across the country for it.  Saying goodbye.

Loving the man who changed the way I saw.  Mostly for the better, but often not.  Walking away from him because he wanted to keep me on a neglected and dusty shelf, freeing me only when he needed me.

Rescuing Chief, who ended up rescuing me.

Finding Robert and falling in forever love.  Getting married.  Becoming family.

Creating Tucker.  Our perfect, perfect boy.

Hearing the words “autism spectrum” and “special needs” and realizing that we not only had the wrong parenting book, but that we were in the wrong library.

Learning a new language and finding ways to be Tucker’s voice. Finding courage.  Hope.  Community.

There are turning points in life.  Decisions and circumstances shape our future, our fears, and define what our celebrations look like.

There are times when these detours are consuming and overwhelming.  But mostly?  They are reminders of this gift.

Reminders of Life.  Reminders to take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and look at the amazing scenery.  Appreciate.  Embrace the tears along with the laughter.  Be thankful.

While I cannot see around the bend of future curves and unmet milestones, I pray that our roads will be long, healthy, full of empathy and wonder and that we will find the wisdom and the bravery required to celebrate our choices and the gifts they bring us.

Life’s Turning Points and the moments that make us who we are

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.  The sentence is “I hit a turning point in my life when I…” Follow your lovely hosts:

Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic (Twitter, Facebook)
Can I get another bottle of whine? (Twitter, Facebook)
Mommy, for Real (Twitter, Facebook)
Dawn’s Disaster (Twitter, Facebook)


by Kristi Campbell

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  • Kenya G. Johnson - I saw “Awww” out loud to the Chief one. Love how you chose to finish your sentence and the Tucker picture that followed.June 7, 2013 – 11:29 amReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Kristi, such a beautiful post and so very true. We do have many moments that change and define us and loved how you took us from the beginning of your existence to this point in time. Just wonderful and thank you as always for linking up with us. Wishing you a wonderful weekend now!! 🙂June 7, 2013 – 11:35 amReplyCancel

  • Kerri - Oh my friend, I love that we both went serious with this one. I think it is great that you defined falling into forever love with Robert. And that we were in the wrong library. And about rescuing Chief–which I have an idea about by the way have you thought about getting a therapy dog for Tucker? That you could all love but that would be trained to be Tuck’s security. Then maybe you can pee with the door closed.

    You are the best mom and I just loved this post. You should put a Kerri favorite’s tab on your page 🙂June 7, 2013 – 11:35 amReplyCancel

  • Lori Lavender Luz - This is one of those gorgeous posts that makes me think and think long after I close the browser window.

    So many turning points. And so many serendipitous turns 🙂

    Thanks for the reminder to be present. I will take that with me into my routine today.June 7, 2013 – 11:36 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa Nelson - What a wonderful post Kristi!

    We all have roads that we travel, don’t we? We use the experiences to get further in this life. Not everything goes how it’s planned. That’s part of being human and alive – and not totally control of your own destiny. I can testify to that fact.

    However it goes, the road we end up on – is the right road for us. Rest assured that what you are doing now, is what you should be doing now.

    Have a fantastic weekend!June 7, 2013 – 12:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Daughter of Maat - I really loved this FTSF prompt, and I love reading everyone’s posts. You’re was especially awesome, and I agree, there are so many things that change us, it’s really hard to narrow it down to just one. We are the sum of all of our past moments.

    Despite my mistakes, I wouldn’t change a thing. 😀June 7, 2013 – 12:46 pmReplyCancel

  • Maggie Amada - Oh, Christi, this post says so much about you. I’m really glad that we met each other through these blog hops.

    Life is just full of good and bad moments. Our choices shape us as much as the things that happen to us, maybe more. I love how you view the world and your sense of humor and wonder at the challenges that you face each day and the gifts you’ve been granted.June 7, 2013 – 1:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate - I love how some of the turning points are big and some not as big. It really is all the moments that change us!June 7, 2013 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Anita @ Losing Austin - So glad I now know you just a little bit better by knowing more of the road you’ve traversed. I’ve thought about those very questions often, sometimes with fear of how close I came to making choices that would have taken me a different path that may not have led to these amazing boys I get to mom. And sometimes with guilt of the path I didn’t take that maybe would have kept my brother with us. But even then, that would have meant on missing out on so much I wouldn’t want to.

    xoxoJune 7, 2013 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Yvonne - This is seriously beautiful writing. That’s all I have to say really. I loved reading it.June 7, 2013 – 2:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - So beautifully written…I didn’t participate in FTSF this week because I couldn’t think of just one turning point…and you are right — there are so many of them in our lives and that’s why I couldn’t pick just one. And the other reason I didn’t participate is I knew this post would take a lot of thought and well, I was in a lazy mood this week. And that photo at the end of the post? Just perfect.:)June 7, 2013 – 2:43 pmReplyCancel

  • Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - That. Was. Amazing. I don’t even know what else to say. My eyes started filling with tears at some of the ones that resonated with me the most- “Not marrying the bad boy that I loved too much. ” Yep. And so many other. I’m going to stop now because I don’t want to ruin your perfect, beautiful post.June 7, 2013 – 3:40 pmReplyCancel

  • K - You have such an amazing way with words. This is spine-chillingly awesome. Thank you. xoxoJune 7, 2013 – 4:20 pmReplyCancel

  • clark - excellent post, wiwi*

    two things especially: Chief and the photo of your small lifeform on a path both real and metaphorical.

    *wish I wrote it**

    ** sorta, couldn’t include the reality based elements*** but the narrative the arch whatever the hell the rhetoricians**** call it.
    *** kinda can with Chief
    **** there actually is a ‘real’ word rhetorician*****
    ***** yes, I am disappointed.June 7, 2013 – 4:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Dana - Absolutely beautifully written, Kristi. I loved following you on this look back at your life until now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us – may the road ahead be filled with good things!June 7, 2013 – 5:00 pmReplyCancel

  • The Sadder But Wiser Girl - I love the line “realizing that we not only had the wrong parenting book, but that we were in the wrong library.” This was all wonderful, but that particularly resonated with me. Great FTSF!June 7, 2013 – 5:47 pmReplyCancel

  • Linda Atwell - out one ear - Beautiful, Kristi. I want to be your next door neighbor and have tea with you in the morning.June 7, 2013 – 5:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Jean - Chills and tears. You have such a way of capturing your emotion in your words. I’m in the middle of the crazy time in our house and all that dropped away as I read this.June 7, 2013 – 6:45 pmReplyCancel

  • karen - wow, I am in tears, you worded this so amazing and eloquently. You captured it beautifully, wrong book, wrong library…EXCELLENT CHOICE OF WORDS.

    yes, each road and path, makes us who we are today.June 7, 2013 – 9:32 pmReplyCancel

  • just JENNIFER - I once wrote a post titled The Road Not Taken after my favorite poem. I pinpointed a few places in my life where, looking back, I see I had come to a fork in the wood. Making different decisions at those times would have seriously altered my life path.

    I think it is very good to think on these things. Lovely post!June 7, 2013 – 10:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Shay - KRISTI–you are supposed to be a silly skank like I am. So what the hell is up with you taking my breath away, putting tears in my eyes with these beautiful posts? You are like an onion, my friend…many layers, and I love them all!June 7, 2013 – 10:29 pmReplyCancel

  • Sylvia - What a lovely post! You’ve experienced and been through a lot! Your many turning points that have led up to the blessed life you have now! I pray along with you that you all will have a long, healthy, and beautiful rest of your lives!June 7, 2013 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Dawn - Thank you for linking up with #FTSF this week. All of the moments you are talking about can definitely shape a person. I loved the WAY you posted. The layout was easy to read and we got to know A LOT about you. Thanks!June 7, 2013 – 11:57 pmReplyCancel

  • kelli - I just love this post. It is so genuine and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your turning points with all of us!June 8, 2013 – 12:22 amReplyCancel

  • Natalie DeYoung - So many turning points go into a life. Like you, I couldn’t pick just one, which is why I wrote about something silly…this was beautiful.June 8, 2013 – 12:24 amReplyCancel

  • Priya - This is beautiful writing. Simple and yet something which everyone relates to. We all make mistakes and emerge stronger from them.June 8, 2013 – 1:09 amReplyCancel

  • Considerer - This is a stunning post, Kristi. I can see the path of your life so clearly here, and somehow, in spite of all you’ve gone through, you don’t sound bitter or angry or…negative, really. You sound at peace and it’s transfixing. Thank you for sharing this.June 8, 2013 – 5:48 amReplyCancel

  • Mary-andering Creatively - I loved the format you selected. I feel like I need to go redo mine post now. Maybe I will in a few weeks. I just have so much going on and I am at another turning point too. Thanks for being so open and sharing.June 8, 2013 – 7:59 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden spoons - Kristi, this is just beautiful! I love the way you went all the way back to even before you were born. Beautiful, lovely post!June 8, 2013 – 9:31 amReplyCancel

  • catherine gacad - I am stunned by the beauty of your post. Thank you.June 8, 2013 – 1:16 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Okay you guys – this is again when I hate not having nested comments because each one of your amazingly awesomely excellent thoughts and encouragement means so very much to me. Thank you.
    —
    To Kenya,
    The Chief one got me, too…
    —-
    Janine,
    Thank you for hosting and I hope you have an excellent weekend as well.
    —
    Kerri,
    I actually have considered a therapy dog for Tucker but honestly am just not ready yet. I think it might be good for him – he’s recently decided that he’s scared of dogs, poor kid. 🙁
    —
    Lori,
    I need a daily reminder to be present. Thank you.June 8, 2013 – 7:20 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
    You’re so right that not everything goes as planned and I do believe that most of the time, it becomes as it should be. The right road for us. I like that.
    —
    Daughter of Maat,
    Yes to being the sum of so many of our past moments! I wouldn’t change anything either.
    —
    Maggie,
    Cheers to life being full of both. And I’m really glad I met you, too. Was it from the FTSF? I thought I found you somewhere else but I can’t keep track of where I met everybody…
    —-
    Kate,
    Yes, all of the moments make us and bring us to where we are today, don’t they?
    —
    Anita,
    Oh I so hope you don’t go down the guilt path often. It must be so very frustrating not knowing what happened to Austin and I feel for you so much.
    —
    Yvonne,
    Thank you.
    —
    Emily,
    I can completely sympathize with being in a lazy mood this week! Plus, you must be busy with the new trampoline, right?June 8, 2013 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Stephanie,
    Thank you – cheers to us not marrying the bad boys.
    —
    K,
    Thank you so much.
    —
    Clark,
    As you know from my comment back on The Doctrine, I had to look rhetoricians up. Cool word although I know your version of it would have been better.
    —
    Dana,
    This was a really fun week to read. Everybody’s takes on it were so amazing and cool.
    —
    Sadder Sarah,
    Yeah, I thought you might like that line. I suppose it’s one that every parent who has ever had a kid and struggled with figuring out what’s going on has looked up and realized they’re in the wrong library.
    —
    Linda,
    I would LOVE if you were my next door neighbor and we could have tea together every morning. What a treat that would be.
    —
    Jean,
    Glad I took you away from the crazy in your house for a couple of minutes.June 8, 2013 – 7:30 pmReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - Karen,
    Thank you. The library line was one of my favorites as well.
    —
    Just Jen,
    I look forward to reading your post.
    —
    Shay,
    Trust me, I’m just a skank wearing an onion to try and get the skunky skank smell off.June 8, 2013 – 8:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Wow, this is so beautiful. You totally moved me with this post. I love it! I love seeing all the twists and turns in your life and how eloquently you shared them. Loved this, Kristi!June 8, 2013 – 8:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Robbie - Very powerful. I hope you get your wish about life around the bend.June 8, 2013 – 9:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Tatum - oh man, really beautiful, Kristi. You are such an amazing writer…and person. It sounds like you gave yourself to each turning point. True living.June 8, 2013 – 10:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Melanie Chisnall - Such an interesting topic….the paths we take in life. I think about things like that sometimes. There are so many different roads I could have taken. But I’m happy with this one right now. I love your writing style and so glad I found you through FTSF today! Also loved reading about Chief. 🙂June 9, 2013 – 9:41 amReplyCancel

  • Misty @ Meet the Cottons - you are an amazing writer. love this post!June 9, 2013 – 9:47 amReplyCancel

  • Melissa@Home on Deranged - Embrace the tears as well as the laughter. That’s my favorite. Some days easier to do than others. But it’s just as important to remember the bad times as the good. Just don’t get lost in them.June 9, 2013 – 4:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Joy@icansaymama - Yes, there are so many small or big turning points in our lives. You said that so beautifully! Love your post! xoxoJune 10, 2013 – 3:57 amReplyCancel

  • Jen - Oh my gosh Kristi, this post is so awesome. Really. I love the way you put every single point in your life. I think about these things all the time, but it doesn’t matter does it? We wouldn’t change a minute because that’s how we got our amazing kids. You really are an amazing writer and mom. This post really shows how amazing you are. MWAH! TTTx10!June 11, 2013 – 10:44 amReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Those moments that deviated you from where you intended to go, you kept on walking. You opened your mind and heart to new experiences and evolved with them.
    Turning points are wonderful things whether good or bad because they create change and growth.
    This is beautiful.June 11, 2013 – 1:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Jennifer Lizza - Wow. There is really nothing about this post not to love. You have captured the moments we have all gone through to get us to where we are. It’s amazing how the small moments in our lives create the big beautiful picture we call life. I think this is in my top 5 favorite posts of yours. 🙂June 11, 2013 – 3:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Wow! I’m hear crying, rejoicing, and in awe of everything you’ve been through. Life’s great like that and I sometimes wonder what life might’ve been if I took another route. Thanks so much for sharing your post with us @ My Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party!

    Jessica
    The Wondering BrainJune 13, 2013 – 9:51 amReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - You guys. Sorry I don’t have nested comments. Thank you so very much for all of your awesomely kind amazing wonderful words and selves. You people are why I blog.June 14, 2013 – 9:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Jak - This was a great post! So beautiful and heartfelt. I like your method/style of listing them out. Not sure how to explain that really, but I know what I’m talking about.
    –
    I particularly liked the “wrong parenting book/library” part.
    –
    There are definitely many defining moments in life that shape us. They are continual as we learn and grow.
    –
    I don’t think I’ve ever contemplated where I’d be, or who I would be if certain things hadn’t occurred/been experienced. Sometimes when I specifically talk about an event I suppose I do. It’s fresh on the mind then and when reminiscing I feel it’s hard to avoid the “what if”s. At least for me.
    –
    Again, great post! Some of these recent, deeper posts fellow bloggers are writing inspire me to finally touch base on some of the more neglected/buried aspects of my past on my blog.
    –
    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJune 18, 2013 – 9:06 pmReplyCancel

  • Crystal - This was such a beautiful post! I’m crying! You have an amazing gift for writing. Thank you SO MUCH for linking this up at LOBS. I’m honored. 🙂July 21, 2013 – 12:31 pmReplyCancel

  • Bonnie a.k.a. LadyBlogger - What a beautiful post, thank you. Saw you on Out One Ear…and came by to read your post!

    I blog about education, kids, parenting and the business of blogging. Come visit me at http://ladyblogger.net!September 15, 2013 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

  • Lillian Connelly - It’s amazing to follow the trajectory of our own lives sometimes. To list where we have been and really examine how it brought us all today. Whenever I do that I have so much gratitude for my life…bumps and all.

    Great post!October 3, 2014 – 10:50 amReplyCancel

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