Have you ever thought about life’s turning points? About how different your life might be had you taken a different route, a different job, chosen a different country to live in? Would your child be the same person had you had him earlier? Married somebody else? Grew up with a different family? Would you be the same? Would you be you?
There are moments in our lives when things change. Sometimes it’s the seemingly small things. Sometimes, it’s the big ones. Turning points. Choices. They change who we are.
Following are some snapshots of the moments that have defined who I am now. The ones that I feel made me me.
Life’s Turning Points
537 moons ago, a miraculous woman loved me enough to keep me, carry me in her body and grant me life. She sang to me. She loved me. She gave birth to me. And then she gave me away.
My parents. The ones who brought me into their home and into their hearts. They named me, made me theirs and I was. I am.
I became one of three. Brothers. Playmates and fights and jealously and unmatched camaraderie. Siblings.
Unreciprocated teenage love. Friendship. Learning who I was.
The choice to go out of state for college. I ditched the nest for greener grass and more easily obtained beer. I found friends that have the ability to see me through moments of darkness and moments of levity. Friends with whom I have shared minutes and hours so powerful and unique that there is not a word that exists to describe them.
Not marrying the bad boy that I loved too much.
Falling in love and getting married. Pregnant. Then, not pregnant. Then, no longer us either.
New roads. New turns.
Fulfillment through a career. Moving across the country for it. Saying goodbye.
Loving the man who changed the way I saw. Mostly for the better, but often not. Walking away from him because he wanted to keep me on a neglected and dusty shelf, freeing me only when he needed me.
Rescuing Chief, who ended up rescuing me.
Finding Robert and falling in forever love. Getting married. Becoming family.
Creating Tucker. Our perfect, perfect boy.
Hearing the words “autism spectrum” and “special needs” and realizing that we not only had the wrong parenting book, but that we were in the wrong library.
Learning a new language and finding ways to be Tucker’s voice. Finding courage. Hope. Community.
There are turning points in life. Decisions and circumstances shape our future, our fears, and define what our celebrations look like.
There are times when these detours are consuming and overwhelming. But mostly? They are reminders of this gift.
Reminders of Life. Reminders to take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and look at the amazing scenery. Appreciate. Embrace the tears along with the laughter. Be thankful.
While I cannot see around the bend of future curves and unmet milestones, I pray that our roads will be long, healthy, full of empathy and wonder and that we will find the wisdom and the bravery required to celebrate our choices and the gifts they bring us.
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post. The sentence is “I hit a turning point in my life when I…” Follow your lovely hosts:
Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic (Twitter, Facebook)
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by Kristi Campbell
Kenya G. Johnson - I saw “Awww” out loud to the Chief one. Love how you chose to finish your sentence and the Tucker picture that followed.June 7, 2013 – 11:29 am
Janine Huldie - Kristi, such a beautiful post and so very true. We do have many moments that change and define us and loved how you took us from the beginning of your existence to this point in time. Just wonderful and thank you as always for linking up with us. Wishing you a wonderful weekend now!! 🙂June 7, 2013 – 11:35 am
Kerri - Oh my friend, I love that we both went serious with this one. I think it is great that you defined falling into forever love with Robert. And that we were in the wrong library. And about rescuing Chief–which I have an idea about by the way have you thought about getting a therapy dog for Tucker? That you could all love but that would be trained to be Tuck’s security. Then maybe you can pee with the door closed.
You are the best mom and I just loved this post. You should put a Kerri favorite’s tab on your page 🙂June 7, 2013 – 11:35 am
Lori Lavender Luz - This is one of those gorgeous posts that makes me think and think long after I close the browser window.
So many turning points. And so many serendipitous turns 🙂
Thanks for the reminder to be present. I will take that with me into my routine today.June 7, 2013 – 11:36 am
Lisa Nelson - What a wonderful post Kristi!
We all have roads that we travel, don’t we? We use the experiences to get further in this life. Not everything goes how it’s planned. That’s part of being human and alive – and not totally control of your own destiny. I can testify to that fact.
However it goes, the road we end up on – is the right road for us. Rest assured that what you are doing now, is what you should be doing now.
Have a fantastic weekend!June 7, 2013 – 12:18 pm
Daughter of Maat - I really loved this FTSF prompt, and I love reading everyone’s posts. You’re was especially awesome, and I agree, there are so many things that change us, it’s really hard to narrow it down to just one. We are the sum of all of our past moments.
Despite my mistakes, I wouldn’t change a thing. 😀June 7, 2013 – 12:46 pm
Maggie Amada - Oh, Christi, this post says so much about you. I’m really glad that we met each other through these blog hops.
Life is just full of good and bad moments. Our choices shape us as much as the things that happen to us, maybe more. I love how you view the world and your sense of humor and wonder at the challenges that you face each day and the gifts you’ve been granted.June 7, 2013 – 1:27 pm
Kate - I love how some of the turning points are big and some not as big. It really is all the moments that change us!June 7, 2013 – 1:49 pm
Anita @ Losing Austin - So glad I now know you just a little bit better by knowing more of the road you’ve traversed. I’ve thought about those very questions often, sometimes with fear of how close I came to making choices that would have taken me a different path that may not have led to these amazing boys I get to mom. And sometimes with guilt of the path I didn’t take that maybe would have kept my brother with us. But even then, that would have meant on missing out on so much I wouldn’t want to.
xoxoJune 7, 2013 – 1:49 pm
Yvonne - This is seriously beautiful writing. That’s all I have to say really. I loved reading it.June 7, 2013 – 2:18 pm
Emily - So beautifully written…I didn’t participate in FTSF this week because I couldn’t think of just one turning point…and you are right — there are so many of them in our lives and that’s why I couldn’t pick just one. And the other reason I didn’t participate is I knew this post would take a lot of thought and well, I was in a lazy mood this week. And that photo at the end of the post? Just perfect.:)June 7, 2013 – 2:43 pm
Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. - That. Was. Amazing. I don’t even know what else to say. My eyes started filling with tears at some of the ones that resonated with me the most- “Not marrying the bad boy that I loved too much. ” Yep. And so many other. I’m going to stop now because I don’t want to ruin your perfect, beautiful post.June 7, 2013 – 3:40 pm
K - You have such an amazing way with words. This is spine-chillingly awesome. Thank you. xoxoJune 7, 2013 – 4:20 pm
clark - excellent post, wiwi*
two things especially: Chief and the photo of your small lifeform on a path both real and metaphorical.
*wish I wrote it**
** sorta, couldn’t include the reality based elements*** but the narrative the arch whatever the hell the rhetoricians**** call it.
*** kinda can with Chief
**** there actually is a ‘real’ word rhetorician*****
***** yes, I am disappointed.June 7, 2013 – 4:22 pm
Dana - Absolutely beautifully written, Kristi. I loved following you on this look back at your life until now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us – may the road ahead be filled with good things!June 7, 2013 – 5:00 pm
Ruchira Khanna - Beautiful journey, Kristi Rieger Campbell. Sure, it was a rough one no doubt..but this hardship made you realize how strong a person you are.
Hugs!June 7, 2013 – 5:32 pm
The Sadder But Wiser Girl - I love the line “realizing that we not only had the wrong parenting book, but that we were in the wrong library.” This was all wonderful, but that particularly resonated with me. Great FTSF!June 7, 2013 – 5:47 pm
Linda Atwell - out one ear - Beautiful, Kristi. I want to be your next door neighbor and have tea with you in the morning.June 7, 2013 – 5:50 pm
Jean - Chills and tears. You have such a way of capturing your emotion in your words. I’m in the middle of the crazy time in our house and all that dropped away as I read this.June 7, 2013 – 6:45 pm
Rachel Demas - Chills! And so much love for you, your writing gift and your beautiful heart, Kristi!June 7, 2013 – 8:13 pm
Katia Bishofs - As always I’m speechless. Being in the wrong library is such a strong image. I think I understand how you feel. Writing about it, is missing in the list for me, because I think that with your amazing ability to not only describe, but feel so deeply you bring Tucker’s and other kids story closer to the hearts of all of your readers and you contribute so much to awareness. This was wonderful.June 7, 2013 – 8:53 pm
karen - wow, I am in tears, you worded this so amazing and eloquently. You captured it beautifully, wrong book, wrong library…EXCELLENT CHOICE OF WORDS.
yes, each road and path, makes us who we are today.June 7, 2013 – 9:32 pm
just JENNIFER - I once wrote a post titled The Road Not Taken after my favorite poem. I pinpointed a few places in my life where, looking back, I see I had come to a fork in the wood. Making different decisions at those times would have seriously altered my life path.
I think it is very good to think on these things. Lovely post!June 7, 2013 – 10:24 pm
Shay - KRISTI–you are supposed to be a silly skank like I am. So what the hell is up with you taking my breath away, putting tears in my eyes with these beautiful posts? You are like an onion, my friend…many layers, and I love them all!June 7, 2013 – 10:29 pm
Sylvia - What a lovely post! You’ve experienced and been through a lot! Your many turning points that have led up to the blessed life you have now! I pray along with you that you all will have a long, healthy, and beautiful rest of your lives!June 7, 2013 – 11:13 pm
Dawn - Thank you for linking up with #FTSF this week. All of the moments you are talking about can definitely shape a person. I loved the WAY you posted. The layout was easy to read and we got to know A LOT about you. Thanks!June 7, 2013 – 11:57 pm
kelli - I just love this post. It is so genuine and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your turning points with all of us!June 8, 2013 – 12:22 am
Natalie DeYoung - So many turning points go into a life. Like you, I couldn’t pick just one, which is why I wrote about something silly…this was beautiful.June 8, 2013 – 12:24 am
Deb Gaisford - I’m crying my eyes out right now.June 8, 2013 – 12:44 am
Priya - This is beautiful writing. Simple and yet something which everyone relates to. We all make mistakes and emerge stronger from them.June 8, 2013 – 1:09 am
Roshni AaMom - So beautiful, Kristi! We can always wonder if we could have done things differently, but the truth is that all those events contributed to defining you.June 8, 2013 – 2:37 am
Elizabeth Bradt - I honestly held my breath as I read your post tonight. The delivery of your words and the honesty of your thoughts are amazingly beautiful. If everyone sat down and wrote out their many turning points, I’m sure it would be a surprise to many. We don’t often think about our life this way, as a series of turning points. But is most definitely is. What if you had married the bad boy? What if you hadn’t moved across the country? What if you’d stayed in-state for college? I often wonder how to impress upon my children how every single decision you make in life absolutely affects your future. Do you go to prom with the guy who wants to take your virginity that night? Do you drag race down the street to try and look cool? Do you study for the SAT tonight instead of going to the movies? These seemingly small decisions have the potential to all be turning points in our children’s lives. And I fear that, as people, we don’t understand this until it often times is too late. Congratulations on yet another wonderful post. -www.rocksnosaltmommy.comJune 8, 2013 – 3:01 am
Considerer - This is a stunning post, Kristi. I can see the path of your life so clearly here, and somehow, in spite of all you’ve gone through, you don’t sound bitter or angry or…negative, really. You sound at peace and it’s transfixing. Thank you for sharing this.June 8, 2013 – 5:48 am
Brigid O'Malley - What a beautiful post! I’ve been reading your blog for the past couple of weeks now, since finding you in the Love That Max Blog link-up. My whole body started tingling when I read the line about being in the wrong library. I can remember that feeling so vividly, upon hearing the words “we’ve found some deformities” at our 20 week ultrasound.
Thank you for this.
-Brigid
http://www.thepinkrollercoaster.com/June 8, 2013 – 7:22 am
Mary-andering Creatively - I loved the format you selected. I feel like I need to go redo mine post now. Maybe I will in a few weeks. I just have so much going on and I am at another turning point too. Thanks for being so open and sharing.June 8, 2013 – 7:59 am
Lisa @ The Golden spoons - Kristi, this is just beautiful! I love the way you went all the way back to even before you were born. Beautiful, lovely post!June 8, 2013 – 9:31 am
catherine gacad - I am stunned by the beauty of your post. Thank you.June 8, 2013 – 1:16 pm
Cathy Harlow - Though I’ve lived on the fringes of your life, I remember most of these moments in your life. You have an uncanny way of rolling with life’s punches, then getting up and moving on to the next journey in your life. With each choice you made, you thought you knew where your journey was going to take you, but you ended up somewhere else entirely. I never once saw you retreat or blame anyone but yourself for your failures. You appreciate every blessing God has given you, whether society agrees it is a blessing or not. What I admire about you most is that you are Tucker’s advocate and you take that job so seriously. You have a remarkable talent for expressing your feelings and making all us recipients of your writings nod our heads and shed our tears in agreement as we read your blogs. I have such love and respect for you, my friend.June 8, 2013 – 5:38 pm
Kristi Campbell - Okay you guys – this is again when I hate not having nested comments because each one of your amazingly awesomely excellent thoughts and encouragement means so very much to me. Thank you.
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To Kenya,
The Chief one got me, too…
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Janine,
Thank you for hosting and I hope you have an excellent weekend as well.
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Kerri,
I actually have considered a therapy dog for Tucker but honestly am just not ready yet. I think it might be good for him – he’s recently decided that he’s scared of dogs, poor kid. 🙁
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Lori,
I need a daily reminder to be present. Thank you.June 8, 2013 – 7:20 pm
Kristi Campbell - Lisa,
You’re so right that not everything goes as planned and I do believe that most of the time, it becomes as it should be. The right road for us. I like that.
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Daughter of Maat,
Yes to being the sum of so many of our past moments! I wouldn’t change anything either.
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Maggie,
Cheers to life being full of both. And I’m really glad I met you, too. Was it from the FTSF? I thought I found you somewhere else but I can’t keep track of where I met everybody…
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Kate,
Yes, all of the moments make us and bring us to where we are today, don’t they?
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Anita,
Oh I so hope you don’t go down the guilt path often. It must be so very frustrating not knowing what happened to Austin and I feel for you so much.
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Yvonne,
Thank you.
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Emily,
I can completely sympathize with being in a lazy mood this week! Plus, you must be busy with the new trampoline, right?June 8, 2013 – 7:26 pm
Kristi Campbell - Stephanie,
Thank you – cheers to us not marrying the bad boys.
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K,
Thank you so much.
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Clark,
As you know from my comment back on The Doctrine, I had to look rhetoricians up. Cool word although I know your version of it would have been better.
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Dana,
This was a really fun week to read. Everybody’s takes on it were so amazing and cool.
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Sadder Sarah,
Yeah, I thought you might like that line. I suppose it’s one that every parent who has ever had a kid and struggled with figuring out what’s going on has looked up and realized they’re in the wrong library.
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Linda,
I would LOVE if you were my next door neighbor and we could have tea together every morning. What a treat that would be.
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Jean,
Glad I took you away from the crazy in your house for a couple of minutes.June 8, 2013 – 7:30 pm
Kristi Campbell - Karen,
Thank you. The library line was one of my favorites as well.
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Just Jen,
I look forward to reading your post.
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Shay,
Trust me, I’m just a skank wearing an onion to try and get the skunky skank smell off.June 8, 2013 – 8:11 pm
Kate Hall - Wow, this is so beautiful. You totally moved me with this post. I love it! I love seeing all the twists and turns in your life and how eloquently you shared them. Loved this, Kristi!June 8, 2013 – 8:31 pm
Robbie - Very powerful. I hope you get your wish about life around the bend.June 8, 2013 – 9:05 pm
Tatum - oh man, really beautiful, Kristi. You are such an amazing writer…and person. It sounds like you gave yourself to each turning point. True living.June 8, 2013 – 10:25 pm
Melanie Chisnall - Such an interesting topic….the paths we take in life. I think about things like that sometimes. There are so many different roads I could have taken. But I’m happy with this one right now. I love your writing style and so glad I found you through FTSF today! Also loved reading about Chief. 🙂June 9, 2013 – 9:41 am
Misty @ Meet the Cottons - you are an amazing writer. love this post!June 9, 2013 – 9:47 am
Melissa@Home on Deranged - Embrace the tears as well as the laughter. That’s my favorite. Some days easier to do than others. But it’s just as important to remember the bad times as the good. Just don’t get lost in them.June 9, 2013 – 4:27 pm
Love Dexter - “..(we) not only had the wrong parenting book, but that we were in the wrong library.” This is clever! I think we might be in that library, too!June 10, 2013 – 2:11 am
Joy@icansaymama - Yes, there are so many small or big turning points in our lives. You said that so beautifully! Love your post! xoxoJune 10, 2013 – 3:57 am
Lisa Nolan - Lovely and honest!June 10, 2013 – 7:46 pm
Jen - Oh my gosh Kristi, this post is so awesome. Really. I love the way you put every single point in your life. I think about these things all the time, but it doesn’t matter does it? We wouldn’t change a minute because that’s how we got our amazing kids. You really are an amazing writer and mom. This post really shows how amazing you are. MWAH! TTTx10!June 11, 2013 – 10:44 am
Kimberly - Those moments that deviated you from where you intended to go, you kept on walking. You opened your mind and heart to new experiences and evolved with them.
Turning points are wonderful things whether good or bad because they create change and growth.
This is beautiful.June 11, 2013 – 1:37 pm
Jennifer Lizza - Wow. There is really nothing about this post not to love. You have captured the moments we have all gone through to get us to where we are. It’s amazing how the small moments in our lives create the big beautiful picture we call life. I think this is in my top 5 favorite posts of yours. 🙂June 11, 2013 – 3:28 pm
Jessica - Wow! I’m hear crying, rejoicing, and in awe of everything you’ve been through. Life’s great like that and I sometimes wonder what life might’ve been if I took another route. Thanks so much for sharing your post with us @ My Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party!
Jessica
The Wondering BrainJune 13, 2013 – 9:51 am
Kristi Campbell - You guys. Sorry I don’t have nested comments. Thank you so very much for all of your awesomely kind amazing wonderful words and selves. You people are why I blog.June 14, 2013 – 9:22 pm
Wendy Widom - This is poetry, Kristi. Thank you for sharing.June 15, 2013 – 1:42 am
Out One Ear - You always come up with the most interesting posts and view points. I love them. When Lindsey and Michael were in grade school and we were watching the news about the war in Bosnia, I was grateful (truly grateful) that I had been born in the U.S.A. instead of another country–especially one that suffered from renegade fighting. I even remember telling the kids they were so lucky to have been born here too. But this example is totally different from picking a different path in life. In the later situation we have choices. Like I chose to marry my practice husband. Would I do that again if I knew now what I refused to recognize then? No way. But then I wonder, would I be the same person today if I hadn’t gone through that hugely frustrating learning experience? I used to dwell a lot on those turning points (and believe me I have many to dwell upon) i.e. if I would have chosen this path versus that one. There were times I wish I would have chosen differently. But there came a time when I no longer wanted to waste time thinking of “what might have been” because it ultimately wasn’t going to change the past. For me, I hope some of the (poor?–are they really poor if I learned something valuable?) choices I made in my younger years taught me lessons and made me a stronger woman. a stronger human being. I hope those (wrong/difficult/challenging?) paths help me to make wiser decisions now and in the future. Thanks for another great post, Kristi! I love how they make me think!June 15, 2013 – 6:22 pm
Jak - This was a great post! So beautiful and heartfelt. I like your method/style of listing them out. Not sure how to explain that really, but I know what I’m talking about.
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I particularly liked the “wrong parenting book/library” part.
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There are definitely many defining moments in life that shape us. They are continual as we learn and grow.
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I don’t think I’ve ever contemplated where I’d be, or who I would be if certain things hadn’t occurred/been experienced. Sometimes when I specifically talk about an event I suppose I do. It’s fresh on the mind then and when reminiscing I feel it’s hard to avoid the “what if”s. At least for me.
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Again, great post! Some of these recent, deeper posts fellow bloggers are writing inspire me to finally touch base on some of the more neglected/buried aspects of my past on my blog.
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Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of InkJune 18, 2013 – 9:06 pm
Crystal - This was such a beautiful post! I’m crying! You have an amazing gift for writing. Thank you SO MUCH for linking this up at LOBS. I’m honored. 🙂July 21, 2013 – 12:31 pm
Bonnie a.k.a. LadyBlogger - What a beautiful post, thank you. Saw you on Out One Ear…and came by to read your post!
I blog about education, kids, parenting and the business of blogging. Come visit me at http://ladyblogger.net!September 15, 2013 – 11:22 pm
Rebecca Benson-Bates - I love this perspective – beautifully laid-out, presented at*just* the right pace, unrolled like a welcome mat. I, too, have wondered who and where I would be had I taken even the tiniest detour from the path I took. I think about some of the truly pivotal moments that led me *here,* and they were fleeting and tenuous at best. Could have gone any number of ways. And I am so fortunate to have my amazing, beautiful girl that I wouldn’t change for *anything.*September 15, 2013 – 11:24 pm
Lillian Connelly - It’s amazing to follow the trajectory of our own lives sometimes. To list where we have been and really examine how it brought us all today. Whenever I do that I have so much gratitude for my life…bumps and all.
Great post!October 3, 2014 – 10:50 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - @[1170931637:2048:Ruchira], Can you post your blog link here? I just switched browsers and I searched for abracadabra blogspot and had some issues! Also, THANK YOU!
June 8, 2013 – 1:47 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Aw, Rachel. Thank you. So glad I found YOUR beautiful heart in this big huge blogging journey. So much.
June 8, 2013 – 2:00 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Katia,
I really appreciate you recognizing the being in the wrong library part – that was one of three sentences in the whole thing that I was actually proud of. I’m glad you enjoyed the rest and hope that you are correct that I am bringing Tucker and kids like him closer to the hearts of others. Those are words that I love. Thank you.June 8, 2013 – 2:03 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Weep. Sorry, sweets…June 8, 2013 – 2:24 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - So true, Roshni, so true. Our moments define us. June 8, 2013 – 3:47 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Elizabeth,
Wow. Thank you. I think you are so right that if all of us were to write out our turning points that they would be surprising and real to many. Thank you. Thank you so much (and thank you for including your blog link as I cannot keep track of all of our names!)June 8, 2013 – 3:53 am
Chatty Wren - Beautiful! I should perhaps make an attempt at living life than just turning around all those turning points!June 8, 2013 – 6:40 am
Beverly Giarratano Carbonaro - Wow!!! Such a beautifully written post…. tears in my eyesJune 8, 2013 – 1:02 pm
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Chatty Wren, I think we all should do the same!June 8, 2013 – 4:03 pm
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Thank you Beverly!June 8, 2013 – 4:04 pm
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Brigid,
It’s such a scary helpless feeling to hear that “something is wrong” with our children. I’m off to check out the pink roller coaster now! And thank you…June 8, 2013 – 4:05 pm
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Oh Cathy! Now it’s your turn to make me cry. Thank you, my dear friend. We’ve known each other since RIEI which feels like a kajillion years ago now and have had the amazing gift of being a part of, or hearing about, so many of one another’s milestones. I have gigantic amounts of love and respect for you! I have since I met you and I will for the rest of time. Huge hugs, and thank you again for your kind words. I appreciate them, and you, so much. June 8, 2013 – 11:13 pm
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Love Dexter,
yes, I would imagine that you had to find a new library as well!June 10, 2013 – 1:52 pm
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Thanks Lisa!June 10, 2013 – 10:09 pm
Carol Laverty - We always said that Dexter never followed any of the text books!June 11, 2013 – 4:41 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Wendy, coming from you that is such a huge compliment. Thank you. June 16, 2013 – 5:43 am
Kristi Rieger Campbell - Linda,
Thank you for completely “getting” this whole post. YES to the fact that of course we’d have made different choices if we’d realized then that they were so wrong. Because they were. But they also made us us. Had we not gone through everything we have, would we still be the people we are today? And would we ask for anything more than what we have? I don’t know. Sometimes I say yes, but mostly, no. Because we are blessed..so blessed. June 16, 2013 – 5:53 am