Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

I’ve been on a lot of road trips, and am convinced they’re good for growth. Whether traveling new highways or familiar ones, there’s something meditational about sitting for so long and not being able to completely zone out. My favorite time to drive is right before sunset when the light reminds me of how much […]

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  • Adelaide Dupont - Ah, road trips!

    And tapes and mixed tapes.

    My last audio book was THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL by Philip Roth.

    So good! I love the way Word Smith narrates and the characters like Gil Gamesh and Isaac the genius.

    SECRET LIFE OF BEES must have been good – as was your realisation that you needed to end a relationship. Sunken costs, yes?

    “Something about windmills, swaying cornfields, and the story on tape helped me see my life more clearly. I realized I’d been working so hard to have one particular person love me that along the way, I’d lost love for myself. I realized he was using me, and needed me in a way that wasn’t good for me or any of my future selves.”

    Well, Kristi, this blog is one way you show love for yourself and for your constituents.

    Hope you do go to a dark sky place with Tucker and with Robert. Probably this northern winter as you get into your woolies and such.

    Sales tax and all that with the packets.

    Road trips in the 21st century must be less smoky. [I remember that people used to do it in cars and outside of cars].

    I went to Twitch yesterday and observed a streamer and their visit to a temple/torii. This traveller had been looking forward to it for a time. There are so many conventions and guidelines around religious life in Japan such as no eating on the steps.

    Trying to get on a second-floor parking lot there was a step and someone was concerned for me. I said “Thank you”.October 11, 2019 – 1:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I definitely plan to go to a dark sky place with Tucker and Robert. I just need to figure out how to do it. And where to go, I suppose. LOL to road trips in the 21st century being less smoky. I guess the world is less smoky than it was long ago. Wow to the visit to temple/torii. I think those bucket list trips are some of the most transforming ever. I’ve never been to Japan, but I hope I will be able to one day. And as far as self-love goes, I’m really trying. It’s funny how much of ourselves we give up as a parent, making so much about their experiences, you know?October 12, 2019 – 10:07 pmReplyCancel

      • Adelaide Dupont - Yes:

        the big picture of sacrifice, Kristi.

        Good to know that you are really trying with the self-love.October 14, 2019 – 1:27 amReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - <3October 14, 2019 – 8:53 amReplyCancel

          • Adelaide Dupont - I finally made my post. [8 hours before the link-up closed!]

            The picture is St Georges Beach near St Peter Port, Guernsey.

            Designed it so you could see five streets away with the Esplanade.

            It was cropped because it was big – 15 megabytes!! [that is three-quarters of a very old hard drive].

            I cheated a little with Apple Maps.

            The post is called “Watermelon radish” and I tried to find a US Department of Agriculture representation of that vegetable.

            It is so very very pink, Kristi and readers.October 15, 2019 – 6:17 am

          • Kristi Campbell - It’s a stunningly lovely fruit! Wowza. And yay for Apple Maps and being able to see five streets away!October 16, 2019 – 1:03 pm

  • Tamara - ohmygod to that gross man!! I’m glad you didn’t see him again. And wow, to doing NJ to SF! I used to fly that route a lot, but never drove it! I did drive SF to MA, though. Which is similarish.
    I miss the road trips of youth because I felt invincible and could blow my money on a good car or fancy hotels and not worry about repercussions.. yet.
    Although the road trips right now are magic, because of having young kids (and potty trained ones who don’t get motion sick).
    One day I’ll miss these deeply.October 11, 2019 – 7:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Super gross. I’m So glad he didn’t follow us. And yeah, it was a looooong trip, especially since we made it into a U and went south, but you know, it was one of the best road trips of my life, and I’ll never forget it. LOL to money spent without repercussions, I do remember those days. Ha. And yeah, I love the road trips with potty-trained kids.October 12, 2019 – 10:18 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - I LOVE road trips! I say it all the time, that I love to take long car rides, especially by myself! The only thing I don’t like about it as a 50+ year old whose body is breaking down is that fact that after about 2 hours of driving, my sciatica pain kicks in…ugh!October 11, 2019 – 7:24 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I love them too. So much. And yeah, I feel you on the 50+ thing and our bodies. My friend Sara sends out joke emails each Friday and recently, one was about how rigor mortis happens before we’re even dead. I so get that.October 12, 2019 – 10:19 pmReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - Makes me laugh (and dry heave a bit) that dick pics have been around as long as men think their nasty bits are somehow impressive XD
    I do think road trips depend 100% on the company. I have had some wonderful ones and a tiny minority of very awkward ones!! But they’re telling. All of them.October 11, 2019 – 8:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - RIght??? WHY do men think it’s cool to show penis pics? Like they’re cool or whatever. Gross. And yeah, I get that road trips are dependent on the company. They ARE all telling. I remember driving from the beach to DC with you and Denise. 🙂October 12, 2019 – 10:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Allie G Smith - Beautiful post Kristi. I concur on almost all your points, except the bets time to drive. Right before Sunset is, for me, the worst time. Lulls me to sleep:)!

    I hope you’re staying warm….October 12, 2019 – 1:38 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks, Allie. I thought about you A LOT with this post and this prompt. Feel free to link up an old road trip post to it, if you feel like it. I’m so happy I met you because of all of your trips. It was warm again today, so this weather is just crazy. Also? I totally miss you and think about you often!October 12, 2019 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - I love how your road trips lead to important realizations about love, relationships, and your self. It’s like those road trips where cleansing to you and lead to greater clarity about what you needed right then and in the future. Lovely, reflective post, my friend!October 16, 2019 – 12:32 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks! I think there’s a lot to be said about being in a car with the world whizzing by that helps us see ourselves and our thoughts more clearly or something.October 16, 2019 – 1:05 pmReplyCancel

Every now and again, I read an extraordinary obituary that makes me want to write one for myself, but this idea kinda feels like tempting fate. For somebody who doesn’t have all of her wills in place, much less end-of-life notifications for those who will surely need direction once I’m gone (looking at you, Robert, […]

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  • Lizzi - I’m intrigued by the obituary now! I don’t make a habit of reading them. For some reason I have yet to determine I am very ready to be forgotten and at the moment don’t even want a headstone on my grave. Just a cherry tree on top of me. I don’t want people returning to a place I’ve never been in life, to be sad about me being in this new, dead place. I would rather they just have their small, important memories.

    I am certain the memories you have created with Tucker and the people who matter, are ones which will last.October 3, 2019 – 11:01 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’ll have to find the one that inspired me. It was about a dog – a not very well behaved one at that – and made me think, of it all like a life lived in general. I mean, the dog wasn’t the best dog as far as behavior, but it was the best dog for their family, and well, the obituary was extraordinary. Let me try to find it. It was super sweet, like “saved us from calories by eating an entire pizza,”October 4, 2019 – 9:33 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I love those occasional striking obituaries. I’d like to write one, about someone, or about myself, but I also hope none of us die ever. (ok, brief unrealistic thought)
    I think I have too much anxiety for a life like Michelle Obama’s, but it is what I always dreamed. Still unfolding.October 6, 2019 – 1:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes, still unfolding for sure. And I’m totally and completely with you on hoping none of us die ever. Like never ever. Gah.October 8, 2019 – 1:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Those unexpected moments when we surprise our loved ones or a friend with something not so ordinary are golden moments that often make the very best memories. I love that you are a believer in doing the unexpected and jumping in with both feet!October 10, 2019 – 8:01 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - I just love your reflections on living life and leaving a legacy for those who know you. My favorite line: “I do want to have a mark on the memories of those who love me.” Me too, friend. OH me too.October 27, 2019 – 9:33 amReplyCancel

I stand, washing out an empty bottle of hot sauce to prepare it for recycling, and wonder how clean it actually needs to be. “How do they get the paper label off,” I think, and “whatever gets the label off will surely get the leftover hot sauce I’m scrubbing by hand,” but I don’t stop, […]

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  • Lizzi - It’s so so easy to overthink and be overwhelmed and get hung up on every last shred of plastic and the growing anger that too few people ARE hung up on every last shred of plastic, and then give up (I did). It feels unstoppable.

    But I am so so glad that kids know kids with differences, and people understand more about kids with differences, and the world is a little emotionally and medically safer than it was, in many ways.September 27, 2019 – 3:04 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It does feel unstoppable, but also, I do feel better with each little thing that I get more aware of, you know? Like, 20 years ago, I didn’t think anything about putting apples in a plastic bag and taking them home then recycling that plastic bag. I mean WHY?? I don’t use the bag any longer, and it feels like something anyway. But also, there aren’t enough options to not get plastic, you know? I mean, we need to buy food and stuff, and well, yeah. Ugh. I’m so glad kids with differences are more included now too. It is emotionally safer. That’s a brilliant way to put it.September 27, 2019 – 7:08 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Amen to your last line! I’m glad about that too…as for the other stuff, yeah I am afraid and I hate being afraid for my kids in this complex world. But, I do think if we focus on the positives of all the advances (medically and otherwise) since pioneer times, then at least we can continue to do good in the world too.September 27, 2019 – 6:51 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Yes! The world is better knowing more people with differing abilities for sure. I mean, my world and life is better knowing more about them. I’d never have known if I didn’t know… you know? I hate being afraid for all of us. But I do appreciate the advantages. I hope we can figure out ways to make our footprints here a little smaller for sure though.September 27, 2019 – 7:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Adelaide Dupont - Australian pioneer times were 1800-1880; including a gold rush in the south-east and mountain exploration and river exploration.

    This is when settlers and squatters learnt to appreciate the land they were in.

    One of my favourite pioneers is William Buckley who lived from 1803-1835 with Indigenous Australians – the people who have known and loved and treasured and respected this island continent for 65,000 years and continue to do so.

    Now we are technological pioneers and social pioneers.

    Also knowing something and knowing about something is different.

    Emotional safety is so important!

    Tucker: I have a peach Jeremy and a brown Jeremy in my life too. Peach Jeremy had red hair and loved his ice hockey and the environment around him. Brown Jeremy rode a motorcycle and is an engineer.September 28, 2019 – 2:59 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - We are indeed technological and social pioneers and are better for it in so many ways. I’ll have to look up William Buckley. And yeah, emotional safety is huge. Also, we love that you have a peach and brown Jeremy in your life, and that their equality is so apparent in your comment. Thanks. 🙂September 28, 2019 – 10:49 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - This post had a lot of what I feel day to day about the waste we are basically forced to be a part of (like it’s purposely cheaper to buy a new whatever than to get it the current whatever fixed). Makes me sad how much stuff lands in our oceans and ruins our environment (and of course in turn affects whole species). Sucks. I reuse butter containers as leftover containers but then I get too many and start recycling them. I think we just need to be mindful of our own imprint on earth and try to lessen it for future generations. It’s still depressing when we hear how fast glaciers are melting and endangering polar bears and other creatures. (Deep breaths)
    I agree that the opportunities today are so much better than say, colonial times (ha- you know Brady is learning about that). As for inclusion and diversity, I’m a strong believer that for kids like Brady and Tucker, it’s life changing for them to be treated as equals in a gen ed classroom – to have the same learning opportunities as their peers.September 28, 2019 – 6:17 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It’s so frustrating that it’s cheaper and easier to buy a new whatever than to fix the old one. Too much lands in places that can’t recover quickly enough from our damage, and I almost can’t think about it too much, because it’s so overwhelming, and it feels as though the little things we do will never be enough, but also, I know that doing the little things is what will matter. Like, Tucker is more conscious of it all than I am, which means his generation will be better I hope? Still, I hope he and his potential kids will one day still have glaciers.
      LOL to Brady and the colonial times – didn’t make that connection until you said it here. Gah. But yeah, being included is everything for all of us, in so many ways, right?September 28, 2019 – 10:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - What a powerful piece and important message you shared here, Kristi! I often worry so much about the state of our world and all the destruction and demise we are creating in it and to it. How will things be when our grandchildren are born? Oh, it’s terrifying to dwell on it all…

    But you’re right. There’s HOPE in this generation of strong voices that call us all to action and change! I’m holding on to that and believing that we’ll all somehow figure it all out.September 29, 2019 – 8:30 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I worry SO MUCH about it all, Chris. Probably too much. I worry about our grandchildren (and even our kids, because the ecosystem is collapsing NOW and will affect them…). Gah. But yes, there’s hope too. So much of it. I’m holding on to that, too, friend. Big time.September 30, 2019 – 9:09 pmReplyCancel

I wonder whether I’m in the Fall Season of my life, but don’t Google it as I don’t want to know-know. If life = 100 years, I’m entering the super-early beginning of my Fall season. I don’t recalculate the math if life = 86 years, or 92, 79, or tomorrow. I don’t bother with other […]

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  • Kenya - I’m entering my favorite season even though it’s still going to be like a Colorado summer for awhile. Maybe not even as nice as a Colorado summer. But still it’s September 22nd and that already makes me feel happier than the official dates of Spring and Summer. AND crossing fingers and toes, Hurricane season is almost over and maybe we are done with what can affect us for this year.

    Glad Tucker has made friends in the neighborhood!September 22, 2019 – 6:38 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m so glad hurricane season is probably hopefully over. What a pain, and so stressful. Ugh. I’m glad September 22 makes you happy – and I agree that it’s the feel of the days more than the official dates. I’m really glad he’s made friends, too. One even came with us to the airshow on Saturday – so nice. Keeping my fingers crossed for you with hurricanes being DONE.September 22, 2019 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Fall, such a reminder that we cannot control the cycles (changes) of life. I like how you challenge yourself to embrace the spontaneous happenings of life with a growing kid. Kids can teach us so much about letting go and being open to trying something new, as you poignantly write. Lovely post!September 22, 2019 – 2:10 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I agree that kids are the very best when it comes to helping us remember to embrace spontaneous happenings. And letting go, and holding on. Thank you, friend!September 22, 2019 – 9:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Adelaide Dupont - I’m with Tucker!

    Sewers and drains are really cool and joyous.

    Me – I find joy – and consternation when it comes to red lights on cranes.

    They remind me of port and starboard – or bow and stern – on ships.September 27, 2019 – 6:58 pmReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - What a beautiful tribute to Fall, my friend! I consider it the beginning of the year too! I always feel that sense of new things, new goals, new dreams for my kids when they start school and our world changes dramatically into structured outlines of each day. How will it all go? I hope and pray all the days will be marked with significant growth and things that matter.

    My favorite line: “The night you leave his room feeling like “I did this moment right,” and felt a profound sense of honor shadows the other 1,001 moments this month or this day you questioned yourself.” <— THIS.September 29, 2019 – 8:18 amReplyCancel

The first time I held my son, I felt a profound sense of honor. I was terrified, of course, and starving, as I hadn’t eaten in 30 hours. I marveled at his tiny face, and knew that zero years old was my favorite age. Nothing could ever compare to this moment, right? Except, well, moments […]

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  • Linda Atwell - Absolutely beautiful. No other words needed.September 12, 2019 – 11:37 pmReplyCancel

  • Debi - I feel every. single. bit. of this. My oldest is 17. Everything we do really might be one of the last times we do it, with her heading to college next year. Your sweet memories of all your favorites with Tucker legitimately made me teary. So beautiful!September 13, 2019 – 7:40 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - My husband’s oldest is 25 and there’s so much there, and I get it. With Tucker, it’s like every single thing that’s awesome like “mom will you stay with me” feels like it may be the last because it my be the last… Huge hugs to you with the college and life and all of this. We have to take the wonder and honor when it comes, I think.September 13, 2019 – 11:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Beautifully put, sweet momma. What an honor it is to be a mother and have such an intimate relationship with your child. You make him feel safe and he fills up your heart. I love this post.September 14, 2019 – 4:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, friend. It truly is an honor to witness them at each stage, and that particular night was such a great reminder. It was surreal, and I’m so glad for it.September 15, 2019 – 7:07 pmReplyCancel

  • TD - There are too many favorites to pick an actual favorite.September 15, 2019 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Yeah. Gorgeous.September 16, 2019 – 6:41 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - XOXO friend. Thank you so much for being in the same stage as I am, for knowing us without knowing us, and allowing us to know you the same way. It’s an honor and I’ll forever appreciate our connection.September 19, 2019 – 10:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya - Sweeeeeet! All mom’s deserve to have that moment you experienced. I feel like something like that also happened to me but that I don’t have it recorded. Maybe I do and it’s just a different scenario. But it’s a moment that you break the rules/norms and enjoy it for what it is because it may truly be the last time.September 22, 2019 – 6:26 amReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Oh Kristi, this brought tears to my eyes!! Just beautiful, my friend. Please save this and all the other love letters you have written for your sweet boy! Everything you wrote reminded me of my boy- now a teenager… and I’m SO thankful he STILL loves spooning and wrapping our legs around each other in the late-night hours too.
    Our boys- no matter their age, will always be our babies and I have a good feeling, we’ll always be their mamas who are allowed to hold them tight in the middle of the night.September 29, 2019 – 8:12 amReplyCancel

Some days, I don’t feel like I have a lot of fight left in me. I’m tired, overwhelmed, and it’s hard to know how much difference it makes to sign petitions, attend meetings, call state representatives, or marching for the future in Washington, DC. Last year, I swallowed Tucker’s hugely reduced special ed support hours […]

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  • Tamara - His teacher! That makes my day. Sounds like she really “sees” him and her students.
    Also, this: “You’re gonna need to be there,” I said to Robert. “This shit’s gonna get real.” “Okay,” he said. “I know.”

    I feel like that about everything right now.. like this freaking country!September 6, 2019 – 8:18 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I think you’re right that she sees him, or wants to, and it made a huge difference in my day for sure. AND gah, sister friend, “This shit’s gonna get real” being understood and in your house too, about EVERYTHING, yes. Because yes, this freaking country.September 6, 2019 – 10:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Yup, I totally understand those mama bear feelings and being ready to pounce if we think our kid is not getting the right amount or the right type of support…so glad you received a positive response from his teacher. It makes such a difference to know someone else cares and wants the best for your child. Wishing Tucker a great school year!September 6, 2019 – 4:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG it’s too hard, and how do we know but also, I guess we know, right? I know you get it, in so many ways, and on so many levels.
      Sending best wishes for all of your boys for the best years yet!September 6, 2019 – 10:11 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya - First of all is Robert standing on a slant? Wow Tucker!

    Homeschooling isn’t the answer for everyone so stay proactive with your fight. I know it’s exhausting, even on the homework front. Twenty minutes of simple math is exhausting. I can’t imagine breaking away and having to come back to it. Use that tutor to the fullest to bridge the gap. I’m glad the one teacher met you halfway. And thank goodness you had such of wonderful head start with Tucker in VA.September 7, 2019 – 7:44 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I’m not sure if Robert was on a slant or not… but Tucker’s 5’2″ and 1/4 according to last doc, and Robert is like 6’2″ ish so maybe… And yeah, I don’t want to homeschool. I don’t think I’d be good at it and I don’t think it’d be the best for Tucker because friends matter so much. I mean, I would but like you said, 20 minutes of math already is horrible. So… And yeah, I’ll definitely use the tutor again. And thank you! I’m so glad for VA. I was surprised it wasn’t as good here.September 8, 2019 – 8:21 pmReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - I’ve learned to trust my momma bear instinct and ask myself: what do I want for Brady to have in terms of support? I keep my antennas up all year long and pull teachers and staff together whenever my gut tells me that both sides need face-to-face “all hands on deck” brainstorming sessions. I just had one on Friday because he has a new aide and of course a new teacher. It’s important to do this so that you know that THEY know your expectations for your child’s school year. Same page, being in the loop, keeping my fingers right in it, all for the sake of a shared vision for a successful school year. When you meet with teachers and staff always bring a notebook with all the points you want to discuss and of course beforehand, come up with your own solutions to what you believe may need to be addressed. Be prepared and show them you’re there to support THEM so they can best support your son.September 7, 2019 – 9:46 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I so agree and am glad you just had a new meeting too. It’s too bad Brady has a new aide (it’d be helpful if he could keep the same one for his OES time but I get that people move on, change jobs, etc.). I’ll definitely bring the notebook. I emailed her a bunch of what I want to discuss but it’s so easy at 3am to think of things I forgot to say. Thanks so much for your support and friendship! I appreciate your mama bear wisdom!September 8, 2019 – 8:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra - The fighting is hard and real – and you got this. I’m glad you asked Robert to come with you, sometimes it takes two people to both hear and be present.
    Also – here’s a great shirt if you don’t have it already.
    Much Love – https://www.littlestwarrior.com/products/advocate-like-a-mother-womens-flowy-teeSeptember 8, 2019 – 3:18 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - GREAT SHIRT! Thank you! I’m glad I asked Robert to come with me, too. I think it’s too easy in meetings like IEP meetings when so many people are already on the same page (that you haven’t yet even read) to feel overwhelmed and over-peopled, if that makes sense. Thanks, mama.September 8, 2019 – 8:24 pmReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Meaning of Me - Oh, Kristi, I know and I understand. The hours and hours of homework in tears? It broke all of us. It really is so hard. I’m glad you and Robert are both going to your meeting. I don’t know, I just think it is good all-around when everyone who supports the child can be present. The two heads are better than one concept. And I think just the fact of feeling like a team when you’re sitting with a whole team of people is a boost. Only you know what’s best for your kid and never give up on advocating for that. We did ultimately make the decision to leave traditional school for a ton of reasons, but that is another story for another day. In the meantime, know that we love you guys and are here any time for a vent, a chat, whatever. So glad you’ve made a good connection with T’s teacher – that makes SUCH a difference. Keep on, my friend. Keep on. xoSeptember 10, 2019 – 7:26 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, my friend. I know you get it. The hours of homework and tears is the absolute worst and I’d simply refuse to do it at all if it didn’t mean that Tucker would end up missing recess (which I also think is wrong – I mean they need the break so badly!). Ugh. It’s tomorrow and I really appreciate your comment and understanding. It helps. So far, his teacher seems really sweet and I know that she feels like she needs to prepare the kids for middle school next year but UGH. He’s 10, and should be outside after school, not crying over a new way to do math he already knows how to do the other way (common core can suck it, too). Thanks again. xoSeptember 10, 2019 – 11:15 amReplyCancel

  • Christine Carter - Oh Kristi, I’m so sorry it’s been so hard for Tucker AND of course, for you. I’m grateful for his teacher’s response and praying your meetings will go well with both the IEP and with her. Keep fighting, mama bear! You are doing an amazing job.September 11, 2019 – 6:54 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks so much, lovely friend. It’s so frustrating that it’s not the same in each state… but we’ll get him what he needs for sure! xoSeptember 14, 2019 – 10:31 amReplyCancel

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