Finding Ninee » Sharing our parenting and special needs stories with heart and humor.

When I was eight or nine years old, my birthday party was horseback riding with friends before swimming at the reservoir and binging on cake and ice cream. The ride must’ve been about an hour. Near the end of it, we headed back to the stables, and something happened — the horse my cousin was […]

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  • Allison Smith - Oh momma, that’s a lot to digest. I am so sorry, what a day!

    First, when I was in Colorado Springs four years ago, I saw the most amazing double rainbow. Audry was with me, and we had to pull over and take pictures. Must mean you’re in a lucky place.

    Second, Happy Birthday! I’d forgotten you are an August baby.

    Finally, poor Tucker. I am so sorry he’s sick. Ugh! I would be in a full-blown panic, who wouldn’t? But I have been to a few doctor’s offices in the last few weeks- and I think they’re probably safe than the grocery store. Still, I hope it doesn’t come to that.

    It’s hard not to panic during this time. Last night, Rich’s dad called me to let us know (Rich’s) Uncle was in the ICU – Corona. He’s 67, and already not in the best health. Here’s the the big surprise – they live in SW Virginia, in the middle of nowhere. Up until two weeks ago, they only had 2 cases in the county! ANd now, he’s in the ICU and I’m scared. My chest is hurting, and has been since we found out. I know it’s anxiety, but damn, I’m a little crazy like that. I wish ths would be over.August 1, 2020 – 7:01 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He’s fine now. But you’re right. Who wouldn’t be in a full-blown panic?? UGH. Also, who knows where he got it. I’m so sorry to hear about Rich’s uncle. How’s he doing????????
      Also anxiety everywhere is through the roof, I’m sure. I bet the psych docs have a huge surge in business now…
      Also let’s please catch up on the phone so soon!!August 4, 2020 – 11:11 pmReplyCancel

  • April Stephens - April Stephens
    Noooo! I hope he is feeling better today and that it isn’t the covid. Living through the pandemic proved to be more torturous than I expected it to be too. I was far too short-sighted to realize how long this thing would last. Actually, I still have no idea how long this will last. And I’m so ready for it to be a thing we know how to treat so well that normal life can resume. I so hear you on this post. PrayinAugust 1, 2020 – 10:36 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - He’s feeling better – it ended up being like 36 hours. Where he got it??? Dunno… I think ALL of us were short-sighted to realize how long this would last, or know how long it will. Hugs.August 4, 2020 – 11:13 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine Huldie - Janine Huldie
    Aw, Kristi, I am so sorry Tucker is sick right now and just hope he is feeling better soon. I know that fear so well in normal times when our kids are sick, but now more than ever I would be a mess. We just got the news last evening that the girls’ school are planning to try to open full-time here on September 1st. I am not sure how I feel as I was hoping for more options, especially that my Emma has had issues in the past with pneumonia and has seasonal asthma now. So, I now I wait to see what our governor actually has to say and then have to make the final call I suppose. None of this easy right now and yet here we are. Hugs and Happy (almost) Birthday to you, my friend <3August 1, 2020 – 10:37 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Janine. He’s better now and fine and still, well, gah. I hope the schools do the right thing but honestly, I don’t think they know what the right thing is, right? I mean, does anybody? Mabye Fauci but the gov is trying really hard to shut him up because unpopular opinion and all that… Hugs to you and thank you for the birthday (almost) wishes!!!August 4, 2020 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

  • TD - Hope your little man feels better soon. The rona has everyone on edge…August 2, 2020 – 6:31 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - RIGHT??? It’s crazy. I mean normally, I’d be like “ok,” but these days??? Ugh. He’s fine now. Thank you. <3August 4, 2020 – 11:15 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I feel like it’s impossible to not be catastrophizing. Allergy season was super inconvenient this year! What a beautiful post and great FTSF turnout! Let’s keep the momentum going!

    July was my birth month.. as you know.

    Wishing us all a beautiful triple rainbow August, before the uncertainty comes super charging back in.August 3, 2020 – 7:21 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG allergy season this year! I still have them and each time I sneeze, I’m like OMG it’s here. Here’s to momentum and births (YOUR NEW ONE SOON EEEP) and triple rainbows. Love to you.August 4, 2020 – 11:12 pmReplyCancel

  • Nancy Burton Wolfe - “All the ifs…”
    A good friend knows me so well and often reminds me that, when the unexpected happens or the unknown becomes larger than life, I tend to go too far, overreacting – and overreaching anything I could ever expect to predict accurately. I hope this pandemic has taught me, and anyone like me, that all the ifs will never be answered until they are and we do ourselves no favors by persistently consulting a faulty crystal ball.
    Such good words to read now and in the future.
    All good health and love to you and yours, dear Kristi…August 4, 2020 – 11:20 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - The faulty crystal ball is such an important image, and I thank you for sharing your friend’s philosophy with me. It’s too easy to go to all the “what if” scenarios, right? And we just don’t know.
      Here’s to accepting your well wishes for health and love and sending it back to you and yours, my friend. Thank you.August 4, 2020 – 11:22 pmReplyCancel

When I was pregnant, I wondered what my boy would be like. Imagined what it would feel like to be a mom. It doesn’t feel like it’s been 11 years since I stared into his face thinking “I did this. We made him.” I marveled at the teeny-tiny fold right beneath his eyes, his perfect […]

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  • Allie - Sweet post! I have never been to Disney LAND. I am tentatively exploring a California road trip next summer (although talk about can you imagine!), and was wondering if I should try to include that.

    Dumb, novice question….but how does one find the prompts for FTSF:)?

    BTW, that does look like a woman, but what is it?July 25, 2020 – 6:19 amReplyCancel

    • Mardra - Hello Allie, jumping in here. 1) join the Facebook group to get the weekly prompts. There’s still tim on this one: “Can you imagine?” And/or the photo. 2) The picture is of smoke. Pretty cool, eh?July 25, 2020 – 7:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - OMG please do a CA road trip and stop by here!! Also, join the FTSF FB group. I’ll DM you. And it was smoke!July 26, 2020 – 11:51 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra - Me again. Link to the full pic here: https://www.redbubble.com/people/bobst1080/works/7970809-dancerJuly 25, 2020 – 7:49 amReplyCancel

  • Dana L Campbell - Love this so much! He knows he is a, ‘much loved boy.’July 25, 2020 – 10:23 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hope so! I yelled at him yesterday for spilling salsa on my keyboard… and feel awful about it. So thank you for this.July 26, 2020 – 11:52 pmReplyCancel

  • Emily - Aww, what a sweet ending and that picture of you two is amazing.:) This post helped me feel less alone with my up and down moods/feelings. I too go from feeling hopeless and frustrated and anxious to feeling hopeful that the worst is behind us. I hope Disneyland can be in your not too distant future. xoJuly 26, 2020 – 7:27 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Thanks, Emily. And OMG these times. How can we not feel hopeless and frustrated and anxious and also hopeful?? It’s like nothing we’ve known before. And it sucks, but also? We have people. Like you. <3July 26, 2020 – 11:53 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - It totally looks like a woman. I thought that too!
    Also I swear I keep having kids because it’s like a science project. What will a third one look like, when I already know what one boy and one girl look like? And there’s some math projects too – like how fast will my love multiply and grow?

    It does help the hopeless thoughts. I have some days where I feel normal(ish) and some days where I just think, “If it’s not the virus, it’s climate change or really stupid voters.” Yup.July 29, 2020 – 2:24 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I can’t wait for you to share photos of your new baby! I think your love just expands to include. And yeah, the virus and climate change and really stupid voters plain old suck. Yup indeed.July 30, 2020 – 9:14 pmReplyCancel

  • Celia - I just read this post today and the timing is perfect. One of my boys asked me this morning if having kids is like I imagined it would be. The answer? No. I never imagined what it would like being a parent. I knew I wanted to be one, but I never really thought about the finer details of parenting or what my kids would be like. I can guarantee that if I *did* think about it, I wouldn’t have imagined having a special needs child, yet here we are and I can’t imagine life any other way (except maybe less ignorance and more acceptance of people who are different than the “norm”, whatever that may be). Sometimes I catch myself watching old videos of him, and the pain of the first few years of knowing he was different but trying to figure out why comes rushing back. It seemed like the days of him flailing around, crying in frustration while trying to find the words to communicate how he felt would never end. Now I wonder if he can ever be quiet! (Seriously, love that he talks, but once he starts, he doesn’t stop.) He’s grown and blossomed more during this pandemic than he has in years. I mean, he’s learned to ride a bike, started going under water in our pool, started taking showers (and doesn’t scream that he’s going to die when water hits his face), and it’s absolutely amazing. Now if he could ever learn to tie his shoes … 😉September 1, 2020 – 2:08 pmReplyCancel

I don’t remember my 11th birthday in particular. It may have been lost in the years of my parents’ impending divorce, or swallowed by summer’s end, with school looming around the corner. I’m pretty sure I’ll always remember celebrating my son turning 11 this year. Celebrating 11 years old in a pandemic isn’t easy – […]

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  • Lizzi - Beautiful memories in a difficult time. Happy birthday Ticker 🎉🎉🎉July 7, 2020 – 12:29 amReplyCancel

  • Lizzi - Tucker.

    And I should always proof read XDJuly 7, 2020 – 12:30 amReplyCancel

  • Tamara - It’s always the right time, isn’t it?
    And oh boy – some of that stuff takes my breath away. I need to go Google this amazing place you visited.July 7, 2020 – 2:34 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Come visit!!! I mean, when it’s safe and all that. It’s amazing. I’ll take you. There are moose along the way, although I haven’t seen one (ever). You can help me find them.July 16, 2020 – 8:57 pmReplyCancel

  • Smith - Happy Birthday, Tucker!!!!!!!! It looks like he had an amazing day. Your posts are making me very nostalgic for my 2016 summer road trip. We went to Glenwood Springs as well. I’m sorry he had to celebrate this way, but it looks like you made the best of it. And who better to celebrate with than mom and dad? And you looked very chill:)> Enjoy!July 9, 2020 – 4:47 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I remember your Colorado trip. Glenwood Springs is so amazing. I hope you’ll come back!!!July 16, 2020 – 8:58 pmReplyCancel

I overstate the obvious when saying it’s a hard time to remain calm. I’m not brave enough to ask what *else* 2020 can bring because life and irony always have a way of saying “Well, did you think of THIS when you asked what else 2020 can suck at?”  If horror movies have taught us […]

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  • Emily - Wow — an antelope!! Sooo cool and how lucky you are that you live someplace where you can see wildlife like that! We get excited when we see a deer or raccoon.:))) Thanks for this post. I’m trying to stay calm, and be the eternal optimist that things will get better. Just think about it this way – 2020 is already half over! And in these trying times, I believe it is a good thing that this year is flying by!June 27, 2020 – 10:17 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It really was cool. Our house is about three blocks from this big open space. I’ve seen a herd of them on the farther side (from the road on the other side of the open space) but never one so close to the bike/walking path. It didn’t even flinch! I’d be excited over a raccoon too but heard they can be mean. True to 2020 being half over. I suppose that’s something.June 27, 2020 – 10:05 pmReplyCancel

  • Mardra - Yeahh, I had only one bit of actual helpfulness on calm on my blog, too. Ah well – here we are trying our best and suddenly realizing that the word trying has two meanings and maybe that’s why…
    Smooches to you and not the antelope. (ack!) – MsJune 28, 2020 – 10:43 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Actually, Marcus’ video was super calming and inspiring. If I could have that guy’s confidence and wisdom? Well, I’d sleep better if nothing else. By the way, there were several pieces of wisdom on your blog – the being a weirdo thing? LOVE SO MUCH. xoxo and smooches back. Not sure I want to kiss the antelope either, although probably would be cool if he/she would let us ride? Or pet, or, maybe not. xoJune 28, 2020 – 8:50 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I’m a terrible meditator. I get the giggles.. and yes.. the distractions.

    Yesterday it was hailing on our deck and we kept thinking about Passover when there’s all the plagues on Egypt. HAIL! FROGS! LOCUSTS!

    Yeah, 2020 is like that. Very non calming.June 29, 2020 – 7:26 pmReplyCancel

  • Smith - Ultimately, I had to make myself stop watching the news. I know it’ s bad, but I just couldn’t handle the anxiety anymore:(. Everything is falling apart at the seams! And Hail – isn’t that truly the sign of the end? UGH! I joke – but we too had a hail storm a few weeks ago (in Atlanta – in June!). Oy! STrange, sad times.July 9, 2020 – 4:42 amReplyCancel

How much is too much? How much is not enough? New Order sings “It’s never enough until your heart stops beating,” but what does that mean? I like to think it means we still have time, at least for now, to become more of who we’ve always wanted to be.  How Much Time Do We […]

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  • Mardra - I’m so glad you guy got out in the air and could feel a minute of “How much” in the sand dunes. “How much sand does it take to make mountains?” Right? wow!
    If I haven’t told you lately, I love how you weave the “big” journeys of your imagination and spiritual and ambitions, right up with the day to day of “this day is so long.” The big questions are so powerful when you ground them in where you are. So, keep doing that. 🙂 Much love – MsJune 22, 2020 – 12:00 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Aw thanks. Seriously, thanks. I struggled with this one a lot and felt like I was just brain dumping but maybe it worked. I’ll keep doing my last minute stuff then. xoxo and much love back.June 22, 2020 – 9:25 pmReplyCancel

  • Janine - Aw, I like to think you are right and we still have time for all that is yet to come. I hope and pray that the pandemic will be gone before we know and that we will all have learned not to take anything or anyone in our lives for granted after this crazy time. Hugs and here is to better days to still come <3June 22, 2020 – 12:01 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I hope we still have time for what’s to come. And OMG to hoping and praying the pandemic will be gone and it feels like it wasn’t for forever… Here’s to not taking anybody or anything for granted! xo <3June 22, 2020 – 9:27 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I love your many uses of “how much.” Seriously.
    Also, I want a gator lunge and I want to go to the Sand Dunes that look like Star Wars.
    Scarlet is reading a book and the school in the book is called something in Latin that means “Remember that you will die.”
    Which we thought was kinda morbid, but Cassidy said it’s a good reminder to LIVE now.
    I mean, as much as we can. Maybe that’s a new topic. How much can we live in a pandemic and with terrible racism?June 22, 2020 – 8:52 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - Too many uses, according to Google’s little thing of telling you how SEO great you are (I’m the opposite but whatever) but THANK YOU. I’d have had your same reaction about the book “Remember that you will die” *YIKES* but also so love Cassidy’s reply that it’s a reminder on how to LIVE NOW. Let’s do that. And yeah, that could be a new topic for sure. Remind me. xoxoJune 22, 2020 – 9:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Smith - It looks like you guys are loving Colorado! I can’t believe it was four years ago that we were out there, and Barrett was rolling in those dunes. Such a fascinating place. Were there a lot of bugs when you were there?July 9, 2020 – 4:35 amReplyCancel

Home, sweet, stir-crazy home. As Dorothy said, “There’s no place like home.” Home is ahead of us, behind us, and where we lie our heads down. Home is being able to get up in the middle of the night and find your way to the sink or the bathroom without lights. It’s where muscle memory […]

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  • Adelaide Dupont - Tucker – your humour made us think really hard.

    Well it did me!

    I remember learning about Peggy McIntosh and the Invisible Knapsack in late 2001-early 2002 from a Keene State University psychology graduate who was really awake to these issues and articulate about them in writing.

    Today I read in a literary magazine an EAL teacher’s reflections on house and home; lonely and alone.June 12, 2020 – 3:59 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - It did me too. At first, I thought it was just a prank but he obviously knows more based on his reaction. Sigh. I’m not sure I remember Peggy McIntosh – I’ll have to Google her.June 12, 2020 – 9:46 pmReplyCancel

      • Adelaide Dupont - What did you Google about McIntosh?

        Or perhaps Tucker did the Googling as well.

        The EAL teacher based in Turkey is LISA MURROW – her piece was “Unlocking Home; thoughts of a displaced traveller” and the magazine is MEANJIN.

        And all the women caves and homes and such.

        Distance is HARD.June 15, 2020 – 10:31 pmReplyCancel

        • Kristi Campbell - I just Googled who she is and read about her anti-racism movement and her essay on the Invisible Backpack and white privilege. Interesting for sure.
          And yeah, distance is SO HARD.June 18, 2020 – 7:44 pmReplyCancel

  • Pat B - As we have been confined to our home and rarely getting out to do normal stuff I have felt very grateful that we have a home, considering that there are so many homeless people and for them trying to isolate themselves safely if next to impossible. Having a husband with whom to share this experience has been a blessing too.

    I had to chuckle about the bald spot on the carpet caused by your dog. Dogs, like people, can leave their marks on a home, and when they are no longer with us, seeing those marks make us smile.

    Not knowing what a child knows is a difficult challenge for a parent.

    This is definitely a time of awakening, a time to become more knowledgable about the past and the present and to recognize ways in which we each can do more and be more so that this country can be more unified.June 12, 2020 – 1:19 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I know what you mean about being grateful to have a home and somebody to share it with during this time. My heart breaks for people who are homeless and in other situations where it’s hard to distance.
      And yeah, our dogs definitely leave marks on a home! And forever on us, too.June 14, 2020 – 4:28 pmReplyCancel

  • Kenya - ❤️❤️❤️ As much as I’d love to write a show and tell post about my 7×9 woman cave that I’ve come to so adore since we’ve been “shut in”, it’s hard for me to write inside or outside of the box. I appreciate you 😘June 12, 2020 – 4:49 pmReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - You have a 7×9 woman cave? Holy wow, I need to know more about this. And I get not writing inside or outside the box.
      I appreciate you, too, friend. A lot. <3 <3 <3June 14, 2020 – 4:29 pmReplyCancel

  • nassah - I loved your post soo much ..June 13, 2020 – 3:10 pmReplyCancel

  • Tamara - I had likened the current experience to a “prison” recently and regretted that but I think I was talking more about the prison in my mind of being so afraid and powerless.
    Even though I think we need to push through that – for this virus and for this racism.
    Our kids are always going to remember this time right now, Cheerios faces and violence, and I know in my heart we’re going to steer them in the right direction. Something really has to give.June 15, 2020 – 5:56 amReplyCancel

    • Kristi Campbell - I get the feeling of prison – it’s HARD right now. It really truly is, and I think there’s something in acknowledging that, you know? Feeling blessed but also feeling the mess is what makes us human. Or something like that. I have to believe that we’ll steer our kids as right as we can, and that when they’re our age, the world will be kinder. Less racist. Oh please please.June 18, 2020 – 7:42 pmReplyCancel

    • Adelaide Dupont - Tamara:

      I remember one of my favourite musicians saying –

      “The institution is in your own mind. It is terrifying”

      and there had been a prison-like feeling for that person after they had been in and out for about 10 years in the 1970s and the 1980s.

      We do need to push through and “free the still imprisoned” – that is a quote from an advocate I admire who died nearly 10 years ago [as of this October 2020].June 19, 2020 – 7:58 amReplyCancel

  • Allison Smith - That’s pretty powerful, tweety bird:(/. Children are truly amazing, aren’t they? We’ve had some truly interesting discussions in or house. My youngest two are very upset and fired up! I’m proud of them, and pray they continue to fight for social justice (and it’s not just a social media teenage fad). But they do give me hope.June 19, 2020 – 11:53 amReplyCancel

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